Dear HR Professionals, As we all have faced critical situations during our professional work career some or the other way like backbiting/ comments/ criticism/ murmuring/ rumours etc . Today I am focusing on one of the major issues of criticism at work place. At times it is hard to handle but if you really keep a positive approach toward it, can easily lead.
Criticism at work can affect every part of your life, adding stress during work hours and invading your thoughts outside the office. If you don\'t handle it well, negative feedback from your superiors and colleagues can ultimately derail your career. You can\'t prevent being criticized, but controlling your own reaction can turn a negative situation into a positive one.
\"People too often take criticism as a personal attack or as a signal that all the things they\'ve done right aren\'t being appreciated,\" I think not all criticism is bad, and sometimes it can provide feedback that\'s valuable to your success. Here are six tips for dealing with criticism at work:
1)Take time to really listen:
If a colleague or higher-up has something negative to say, don\'t disregard their comments even if you don\'t have a high opinion of the person. Instead of shutting down, stay objective about what he or she is saying (just as you would in any other situation).
\"Be genuinely open to hearing what the other person is saying and try not to interrupt or jump to conclusions,\" Try to listen what they want to communicate not what you want to listen- don’t be selective listener. I also suggest using active listening techniques throughout the conversation like paraphrasing what you\'re hearing in your own words and making eye contact to show you\'re actively engaged.
2)Ask questions:
Even the slightest bit of negative criticism is easy to misinterpret.
Be prepared to ask follow-up questions during the conversation in order to prevent a bigger misunderstanding down the road. Asking questions not only shows that you\'re eager to figure out a solution, but the colleague\'s responses can help you gauge whether the negative feedback is relevant.
\"Ask for specific examples and instances of the types of behaviour that are at the root of the feedback,” \"If the atmosphere is becoming tense, introduce a more positive approach by asking for examples of the behaviour your reviewer would like to see more of.\"
3)Don\'t get defensive:
Whether at work or at home, it\'s easy to get defensive when being criticized. Fight the urge and give your boss or co-worker a fair chance to express his or her thoughts. \"The person giving you the feedback might have a reasonable point, which you\'ll never pick up on if you is busy thinking about how to defend yourself,\" says Green.
4)Stay calm:
Don\'t lose your cool, especially in a professional setting. \"Being calm and rational is essential,\" Save your anger for discussing the incident outside of work.
Think about whether it\'s the feedback or how it was given that\'s making you angry. Most of the time it\'s how the negative feedback was delivered rather than the content that people find offensive. I strongly recommend \"If feedback is presented in a constructive environment, criticism can be more easily digested\".
5)Determine if it\'s accurate:
Even if the criticism was conveyed in a startling way, there might be some truth to what your boss or colleague is saying. \"Don\'t brush it off\".
\"Responding with a brusque \'okay\' and nothing more makes it look like you\'re just interested in ending the conversation\". Instead, take a step back to assess the situation. Speak to mentors, family members or others in your office to help you understand whether the criticism is valid.
6)Address the problem:
No matter who\'s at fault, it\'s important to address the problem, whether it\'s changing your own actions, acknowledging a misunderstanding or looking for others to change their ways.
If the negative feedback is coming from your boss, accepting the feedback can help you improve in the future. \"When your boss sees that you can handle a little criticism without blowing it up into a huge uncomfortable discussion, he/she will get increasingly more candid and helpful feedback\".
Share your thoughts in the comments.
From India, Pune
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12Criticism at work can affect every part of your life, adding stress during work hours and invading your thoughts outside the office. If you don\'t handle it well, negative feedback from your superiors and colleagues can ultimately derail your career. You can\'t prevent being criticized, but controlling your own reaction can turn a negative situation into a positive one.
\"People too often take criticism as a personal attack or as a signal that all the things they\'ve done right aren\'t being appreciated,\" I think not all criticism is bad, and sometimes it can provide feedback that\'s valuable to your success. Here are six tips for dealing with criticism at work:
1)Take time to really listen:
If a colleague or higher-up has something negative to say, don\'t disregard their comments even if you don\'t have a high opinion of the person. Instead of shutting down, stay objective about what he or she is saying (just as you would in any other situation).
\"Be genuinely open to hearing what the other person is saying and try not to interrupt or jump to conclusions,\" Try to listen what they want to communicate not what you want to listen- don’t be selective listener. I also suggest using active listening techniques throughout the conversation like paraphrasing what you\'re hearing in your own words and making eye contact to show you\'re actively engaged.
2)Ask questions:
Even the slightest bit of negative criticism is easy to misinterpret.
Be prepared to ask follow-up questions during the conversation in order to prevent a bigger misunderstanding down the road. Asking questions not only shows that you\'re eager to figure out a solution, but the colleague\'s responses can help you gauge whether the negative feedback is relevant.
\"Ask for specific examples and instances of the types of behaviour that are at the root of the feedback,” \"If the atmosphere is becoming tense, introduce a more positive approach by asking for examples of the behaviour your reviewer would like to see more of.\"
3)Don\'t get defensive:
Whether at work or at home, it\'s easy to get defensive when being criticized. Fight the urge and give your boss or co-worker a fair chance to express his or her thoughts. \"The person giving you the feedback might have a reasonable point, which you\'ll never pick up on if you is busy thinking about how to defend yourself,\" says Green.
4)Stay calm:
Don\'t lose your cool, especially in a professional setting. \"Being calm and rational is essential,\" Save your anger for discussing the incident outside of work.
Think about whether it\'s the feedback or how it was given that\'s making you angry. Most of the time it\'s how the negative feedback was delivered rather than the content that people find offensive. I strongly recommend \"If feedback is presented in a constructive environment, criticism can be more easily digested\".
5)Determine if it\'s accurate:
Even if the criticism was conveyed in a startling way, there might be some truth to what your boss or colleague is saying. \"Don\'t brush it off\".
\"Responding with a brusque \'okay\' and nothing more makes it look like you\'re just interested in ending the conversation\". Instead, take a step back to assess the situation. Speak to mentors, family members or others in your office to help you understand whether the criticism is valid.
6)Address the problem:
No matter who\'s at fault, it\'s important to address the problem, whether it\'s changing your own actions, acknowledging a misunderstanding or looking for others to change their ways.
If the negative feedback is coming from your boss, accepting the feedback can help you improve in the future. \"When your boss sees that you can handle a little criticism without blowing it up into a huge uncomfortable discussion, he/she will get increasingly more candid and helpful feedback\".
Share your thoughts in the comments.
From India, Pune
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Dear Aakrati,
You have posted the article. Fine, but let your activity have some critical scrutiny. The last sentence of your post tells us to share our thoughts and comments. These are as below. You have copied the article from the following link:
Six Ways to Deal with Criticism at Work - WSJ.com
The original article was posted on June 8, 2012, in WSJ. What is so great about "copy and paste" work and that too without mentioning the source of the article? All that you could have done was to share the link.
Secondly, have you implemented the contents of the article any time? What was your experience? How many days or months did it take to master criticism at work? Did you fail any time while mastering these skills?
Have you done a survey of your workplace? Was there a failure to handle criticism properly? Of the six points mentioned in the article, which points were not followed and how many times? What was the outcome of not following the contents of the article?
Aakrati, do not get me wrong, but the implementation of anything is far more important. It would have been far better if you had shared your own experience. Leadership lies in practical implementation and not educating others. For a few, educating others is their pastime. Now, whether to pick up this habit or not is your choice.
Thanks,
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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You have posted the article. Fine, but let your activity have some critical scrutiny. The last sentence of your post tells us to share our thoughts and comments. These are as below. You have copied the article from the following link:
Six Ways to Deal with Criticism at Work - WSJ.com
The original article was posted on June 8, 2012, in WSJ. What is so great about "copy and paste" work and that too without mentioning the source of the article? All that you could have done was to share the link.
Secondly, have you implemented the contents of the article any time? What was your experience? How many days or months did it take to master criticism at work? Did you fail any time while mastering these skills?
Have you done a survey of your workplace? Was there a failure to handle criticism properly? Of the six points mentioned in the article, which points were not followed and how many times? What was the outcome of not following the contents of the article?
Aakrati, do not get me wrong, but the implementation of anything is far more important. It would have been far better if you had shared your own experience. Leadership lies in practical implementation and not educating others. For a few, educating others is their pastime. Now, whether to pick up this habit or not is your choice.
Thanks,
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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Dear Aakrati,
Dinesh Divekar has given you some sound advice, which I hope you will take in the right spirit. Dinesh has saved me time searching the web for the source of your post, and I thank him for that.
I will take this opportunity to offer some general advice to bloggers. It's not a crime to cut/copy and paste material found on the web. However, what is not acceptable is doing so without giving due attribution to the original author(s). For example, by opening the link provided by Dinesh, I found that most of the content in your post was posted by Alina Dizik, under the heading "Six Ways to Deal with Criticism at Work". Had you paid attention to the good practice of Alina Dizik, you would have noticed that she clearly attributes the following statement to Allison Green as follows:
"You can't prevent being criticized, but controlling your own reaction can turn a negative situation into a positive one," says Alison Green, author of the Ask a Manager blog. "People too often take criticism as a personal attack, or as a signal that all the things they've done right aren't being appreciated," Green explains."
Under "Take time to really listen", the quotation "Be genuinely open to hearing what the other person is saying and try not to interrupt or jump to conclusions," is a saying by Curtis Odom, principal of Prescient Talent Strategist, a Boston-based talent management firm, according to Alina Dizik.
Thus, you can be alleged to have committed plagiarism, and may have violated the copyright owned by the Wall Street Journal in which Alina Dizik's article appeared.
From United Kingdom
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Dinesh Divekar has given you some sound advice, which I hope you will take in the right spirit. Dinesh has saved me time searching the web for the source of your post, and I thank him for that.
I will take this opportunity to offer some general advice to bloggers. It's not a crime to cut/copy and paste material found on the web. However, what is not acceptable is doing so without giving due attribution to the original author(s). For example, by opening the link provided by Dinesh, I found that most of the content in your post was posted by Alina Dizik, under the heading "Six Ways to Deal with Criticism at Work". Had you paid attention to the good practice of Alina Dizik, you would have noticed that she clearly attributes the following statement to Allison Green as follows:
"You can't prevent being criticized, but controlling your own reaction can turn a negative situation into a positive one," says Alison Green, author of the Ask a Manager blog. "People too often take criticism as a personal attack, or as a signal that all the things they've done right aren't being appreciated," Green explains."
Under "Take time to really listen", the quotation "Be genuinely open to hearing what the other person is saying and try not to interrupt or jump to conclusions," is a saying by Curtis Odom, principal of Prescient Talent Strategist, a Boston-based talent management firm, according to Alina Dizik.
Thus, you can be alleged to have committed plagiarism, and may have violated the copyright owned by the Wall Street Journal in which Alina Dizik's article appeared.
From United Kingdom
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Respected Dinesh Sir,
First of all, I would like to say thanks for the wonderful and valuable advice. Also, at the same time, please accept my apologies. There was no intention to educate others when I literally needed to be educated by my own.
Even I was not aware of the post. The link was exactly copied. Actually, I received an email a couple of months back with the same post. I was glad after reading it because, somewhere or the other, I was facing unnecessary fuss and issues at my workplace.
I have tried to implement it on myself, and somehow, it worked for me. But by the time I wanted to know more about it. Without knowing the origin of the article, I reposted it here so that I could get more views and improve my work. I would like to share why I wanted to know more about "how to handle criticism at work" because when I applied it to my professional career, instead of understanding me, my manager started telling me, "Why do you quietly listen all the time to what I say?" "Is there any issue with your communication?" "When I ask questions, they always make fun in some other native language and say, 'Can't you understand at one time?' Every time, it is not possible to take every comment/fun/harsh language or sayings as feedback. I am ready to adopt any suggestion/feedback/advice on my personal as well as professional skills, which can add value or improvement. I am working with one of the leading and renowned MNCs, which is into IT Telecommunication. In my whole team, I am the youngest and the only one who is well-qualified with an MBA degree. They are all having more than 8 to 12+ years of experience. The entire team of 18 people tries to dominate me at the workplace. After that, one by one, they come and show their sympathy. I seriously don't want or look for their sympathy but their help to understand them better. Sometimes I think, should I really understand them or not because I am working for the company, not for them. "What do you focus on, end result or how the work has been done?" Being a multinational IT company, they still use old and long methods of working, and I try to do all the work with innovation and techniques where I can save time and effort. Due to that, my team members think that I am showing off, that I am more and overqualified than them and trying to flaunt. So every time they try to find flaws in my work. If I do something proactively, my manager says, "Why didn't you ask before doing it?" And when I ask before doing it, she says, "Can't you do anything properly or on your own?" Tell me, sir, where to go? I do understand the difference between advising, feedback, and leg-pulling. They are more senior than me, so sometimes I am unable to express openly what exactly I want to say to them. I do agree that at some point in time, I may be wrong or may take some time to understand things. But can they compare their 8 to 10 years of experience with my hardly 1.5 years of experience in the same domain? Due to this behavior, sometimes I feel low and it seems like I am wasting my effort and time to explain that I want to help them and work for the company's benefits. Please advise on how I can grow in such an environment without making any noise.
Thank you, "Dinesh Sir" and "Nashbramhall Sir," for your valuable advice.
It is a great lesson for me, and I promise never to repost others' articles. It was not deliberate. Accept my apologies.
Regards,
Aakrati
From India, Pune
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First of all, I would like to say thanks for the wonderful and valuable advice. Also, at the same time, please accept my apologies. There was no intention to educate others when I literally needed to be educated by my own.
Even I was not aware of the post. The link was exactly copied. Actually, I received an email a couple of months back with the same post. I was glad after reading it because, somewhere or the other, I was facing unnecessary fuss and issues at my workplace.
I have tried to implement it on myself, and somehow, it worked for me. But by the time I wanted to know more about it. Without knowing the origin of the article, I reposted it here so that I could get more views and improve my work. I would like to share why I wanted to know more about "how to handle criticism at work" because when I applied it to my professional career, instead of understanding me, my manager started telling me, "Why do you quietly listen all the time to what I say?" "Is there any issue with your communication?" "When I ask questions, they always make fun in some other native language and say, 'Can't you understand at one time?' Every time, it is not possible to take every comment/fun/harsh language or sayings as feedback. I am ready to adopt any suggestion/feedback/advice on my personal as well as professional skills, which can add value or improvement. I am working with one of the leading and renowned MNCs, which is into IT Telecommunication. In my whole team, I am the youngest and the only one who is well-qualified with an MBA degree. They are all having more than 8 to 12+ years of experience. The entire team of 18 people tries to dominate me at the workplace. After that, one by one, they come and show their sympathy. I seriously don't want or look for their sympathy but their help to understand them better. Sometimes I think, should I really understand them or not because I am working for the company, not for them. "What do you focus on, end result or how the work has been done?" Being a multinational IT company, they still use old and long methods of working, and I try to do all the work with innovation and techniques where I can save time and effort. Due to that, my team members think that I am showing off, that I am more and overqualified than them and trying to flaunt. So every time they try to find flaws in my work. If I do something proactively, my manager says, "Why didn't you ask before doing it?" And when I ask before doing it, she says, "Can't you do anything properly or on your own?" Tell me, sir, where to go? I do understand the difference between advising, feedback, and leg-pulling. They are more senior than me, so sometimes I am unable to express openly what exactly I want to say to them. I do agree that at some point in time, I may be wrong or may take some time to understand things. But can they compare their 8 to 10 years of experience with my hardly 1.5 years of experience in the same domain? Due to this behavior, sometimes I feel low and it seems like I am wasting my effort and time to explain that I want to help them and work for the company's benefits. Please advise on how I can grow in such an environment without making any noise.
Thank you, "Dinesh Sir" and "Nashbramhall Sir," for your valuable advice.
It is a great lesson for me, and I promise never to repost others' articles. It was not deliberate. Accept my apologies.
Regards,
Aakrati
From India, Pune
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Dear Aakrti,
You have clubbed issues. My comments are as below:
a) First and foremost, simple regret for your "copy and paste" was enough and not profuse apologies.
b) The problem that you have mentioned has nothing to do with the posting of your link. This is where you have clubbed the issues. In fact, you should have posted your problem in a separate post. By the way, why have you not divided your post into multiple paragraphs?
c) Your problem is different. You wanted to improve the systems and processes, but your colleagues are not supportive of your idea. This has nothing to do with your "ability or inability to deal with criticism."
d) You have not mentioned which department you work in at that IT Telecommunication MNC. What is your designation? By the way, which is this "IT Telecommunication MNC" that has 18 persons in the department and none of them is MBA?
e) If you wanted to improve the processes, then did you measure the cycle time of each process? If yes, then for how many times did you measure? By your value addition, what resources could be saved? Did you analyze that? Was it time, human resources, or any other resource? Could you do a proper Cost-Benefit Analysis (CBA) and present it to your manager?
f) Why are your superiors reluctant to accept the change? Did you make note of points of their resistance? Did you tally their resistance with the theory of change management?
g) If your superiors have shown flaws in your work, did you make a note of those? Have you repeated those errors? If yes, then how many times has the repetition been done?
h) Coming to the beginning of your post, when your manager was giving feedback, you were "listening quietly." Did you take notes while listening? Did you paraphrase at the end of the feedback on what you have understood from his feedback? Have you maintained any diary to take feedback, or is it on some loose sheet that goes somewhere?
i) If your superiors assign some work, then hereafter show them the process map of how you would like to handle the work. This will bridge the gap between your and their understanding.
j) Every job demands common sense. Have you failed to show this common sense? Do your superiors feel that Aakriti does not understand basics yet comes up with some hi-fi ideas? By now, how many things are on the tip of your tongue?
Final Comments: I have given this feedback to you, but that does not mean that your superiors are good and their behavior is faultless. But then in our career, we do not have the option to choose our superiors. We have to accept who they are, the way they are. Inability to adapt to the boss is nothing but an invitation to change. Lastly, about quitting the employment. But then this may not solve your problem. If not these, then there could be new problems at new employment. Therefore, take a call on quitting the employment judiciously.
All the best!
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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You have clubbed issues. My comments are as below:
a) First and foremost, simple regret for your "copy and paste" was enough and not profuse apologies.
b) The problem that you have mentioned has nothing to do with the posting of your link. This is where you have clubbed the issues. In fact, you should have posted your problem in a separate post. By the way, why have you not divided your post into multiple paragraphs?
c) Your problem is different. You wanted to improve the systems and processes, but your colleagues are not supportive of your idea. This has nothing to do with your "ability or inability to deal with criticism."
d) You have not mentioned which department you work in at that IT Telecommunication MNC. What is your designation? By the way, which is this "IT Telecommunication MNC" that has 18 persons in the department and none of them is MBA?
e) If you wanted to improve the processes, then did you measure the cycle time of each process? If yes, then for how many times did you measure? By your value addition, what resources could be saved? Did you analyze that? Was it time, human resources, or any other resource? Could you do a proper Cost-Benefit Analysis (CBA) and present it to your manager?
f) Why are your superiors reluctant to accept the change? Did you make note of points of their resistance? Did you tally their resistance with the theory of change management?
g) If your superiors have shown flaws in your work, did you make a note of those? Have you repeated those errors? If yes, then how many times has the repetition been done?
h) Coming to the beginning of your post, when your manager was giving feedback, you were "listening quietly." Did you take notes while listening? Did you paraphrase at the end of the feedback on what you have understood from his feedback? Have you maintained any diary to take feedback, or is it on some loose sheet that goes somewhere?
i) If your superiors assign some work, then hereafter show them the process map of how you would like to handle the work. This will bridge the gap between your and their understanding.
j) Every job demands common sense. Have you failed to show this common sense? Do your superiors feel that Aakriti does not understand basics yet comes up with some hi-fi ideas? By now, how many things are on the tip of your tongue?
Final Comments: I have given this feedback to you, but that does not mean that your superiors are good and their behavior is faultless. But then in our career, we do not have the option to choose our superiors. We have to accept who they are, the way they are. Inability to adapt to the boss is nothing but an invitation to change. Lastly, about quitting the employment. But then this may not solve your problem. If not these, then there could be new problems at new employment. Therefore, take a call on quitting the employment judiciously.
All the best!
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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Dear Harpreet,
Here, no one is telling you to completely avoid copying and pasting articles. However, credit must be given to the actual blogger. At the bottom of the post, we can simply add two or three words like "Source - XXXXXXX" or at least "Source: Internet" to serve the purpose. That's what our seniors are insisting. If we have a healthy mind, then we can take criticism in a healthy way, or vice versa.
Dear Aakrati,
First of all, we must understand that while performing our duties, any criticism is not directed at the person but at the role they hold. The HR Manager alone is being criticized, not the individual. If you understand this, you will not get agitated or engage in arguments. Keep yourself separate from the work premises and let your designation handle the tasks. This way, you will not experience mental stress or anguish at work.
From India, Kumbakonam
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Here, no one is telling you to completely avoid copying and pasting articles. However, credit must be given to the actual blogger. At the bottom of the post, we can simply add two or three words like "Source - XXXXXXX" or at least "Source: Internet" to serve the purpose. That's what our seniors are insisting. If we have a healthy mind, then we can take criticism in a healthy way, or vice versa.
Dear Aakrati,
First of all, we must understand that while performing our duties, any criticism is not directed at the person but at the role they hold. The HR Manager alone is being criticized, not the individual. If you understand this, you will not get agitated or engage in arguments. Keep yourself separate from the work premises and let your designation handle the tasks. This way, you will not experience mental stress or anguish at work.
From India, Kumbakonam
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Dear Aakrati,
It goes without saying that plagiarizing is a serious offense - having said that, my words may please not be construed as an offense. If you read carefully between the lines, you'll have noticed I've touched on 'criticism.' Primarily, criticism is usually taken to be something negative, but remember it has a positive connotation as well. Generally, most people feel their status, opinion, view, right, or perception is being challenged when criticized, forgetting that what is being said or pointed out may, in fact, be entirely true. When this happens, the outcome is negative, and the barriers of understanding and distance emerge. This is often team or organization-threatening.
However, if the criticism is unfounded - and this may happen on rare occasions - an open, honest, and sincere approach to a transparent dialogue or meeting should be entered into. This will create bonds of understanding and trust, and then everyone can go back to his or her workplace with a smile on their lips and laughter in their hearts!
Let's all together take criticism by the horns!
Regards,
Arif ur Rehman
From Pakistan, Karachi
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It goes without saying that plagiarizing is a serious offense - having said that, my words may please not be construed as an offense. If you read carefully between the lines, you'll have noticed I've touched on 'criticism.' Primarily, criticism is usually taken to be something negative, but remember it has a positive connotation as well. Generally, most people feel their status, opinion, view, right, or perception is being challenged when criticized, forgetting that what is being said or pointed out may, in fact, be entirely true. When this happens, the outcome is negative, and the barriers of understanding and distance emerge. This is often team or organization-threatening.
However, if the criticism is unfounded - and this may happen on rare occasions - an open, honest, and sincere approach to a transparent dialogue or meeting should be entered into. This will create bonds of understanding and trust, and then everyone can go back to his or her workplace with a smile on their lips and laughter in their hearts!
Let's all together take criticism by the horns!
Regards,
Arif ur Rehman
From Pakistan, Karachi
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