Dear Ranveer,
Please share what happened to you . It would be a general comment if we suggest anything without knowing what you went through. I look forward to hear from you.
Regards,
(Cite Contribution)
From India, Mumbai
1859Please share what happened to you . It would be a general comment if we suggest anything without knowing what you went through. I look forward to hear from you.
Regards,
(Cite Contribution)
From India, Mumbai
Dear Ranveer,
Our mentors guide and enable us. They are our leaders and sounding boards. Ethically, they don't leave us. Similarly, we stay in touch with them irrespective of the distance and relevance.
Please help me understand what is your reason to feel so lost. Her words and advice have strengthened and wizened you.
If your mentor has progressed into another job, that should motivate you to work harder towards your growth. I believe this is the best time for you to implement what you learnt from her and stand strong on your feet.
I am sure , you have always done your mentor proud and would you continue to do so. Groom yourself further towards your goal. Share your progress with us , we would be happy to know more on that.
Wish you all the best !
Regards,
(Cite Contribution)
From India, Mumbai
Our mentors guide and enable us. They are our leaders and sounding boards. Ethically, they don't leave us. Similarly, we stay in touch with them irrespective of the distance and relevance.
Please help me understand what is your reason to feel so lost. Her words and advice have strengthened and wizened you.
If your mentor has progressed into another job, that should motivate you to work harder towards your growth. I believe this is the best time for you to implement what you learnt from her and stand strong on your feet.
I am sure , you have always done your mentor proud and would you continue to do so. Groom yourself further towards your goal. Share your progress with us , we would be happy to know more on that.
Wish you all the best !
Regards,
(Cite Contribution)
From India, Mumbai
Dear Ranveer,
There are a few contradictory statements in your messages and, hence, I am confused. The Title says ".... He is miffed with me.....", which indicates that your mentor is not happy with you and the person is a male. You also state in your first post "...I think it was my fault".
In the response to (Cite Contribution)'s request for clarification, you state "It wasn't my fault. My mentor got another job and so she left..." Whis implies that your mentor is a female and she left for another job. You also state that you were/are emotinonally attached to her. What does that mean?
In these days of super technology, distance should not matter. You should be able to keep in touch with the mentor by phone, etc.
Have a nice day.
Simhan
Learning and Teaching Fellow (Retd.)
The University of Bolton, UK.
"It is never too late to learn or improve oneself"
From United Kingdom
There are a few contradictory statements in your messages and, hence, I am confused. The Title says ".... He is miffed with me.....", which indicates that your mentor is not happy with you and the person is a male. You also state in your first post "...I think it was my fault".
In the response to (Cite Contribution)'s request for clarification, you state "It wasn't my fault. My mentor got another job and so she left..." Whis implies that your mentor is a female and she left for another job. You also state that you were/are emotinonally attached to her. What does that mean?
In these days of super technology, distance should not matter. You should be able to keep in touch with the mentor by phone, etc.
Have a nice day.
Simhan
Learning and Teaching Fellow (Retd.)
The University of Bolton, UK.
"It is never too late to learn or improve oneself"
From United Kingdom
Dear Ranveer,
This is addition to what (Cite Contribution) and Mr Simhan has said.
Mentors are amalgamation of guide, coach, trainer, teacher, counsellor and elderly friend. They are supposed to grow our personality as a whole. They also build character of the mentee.
I did not understand how come you developed emotional attachment with the mentor. Yes I do understand separation from a person who develops you causes distress. But then from your post what I find is not distress but emotional breakdown.
Nothing is permanent in this world except change. So gentleman what you need to do is to choose a new mentor. Finally what matters is career progression and not emotional attachment.
Secondly, you need to mention was this mentor-mentee relationship approved by your organisation? Was it part of your organisation's "Formal Mentoring Programme"? If it is formal programme then you better approach HR or mentoring co-ordinator for providing new mentor to you. From where your old mentor has left, let the new mentor pick up a thread.
Ok...
Dinesh V Divekar
It is not goal but direction decides the destination.
From India, Bangalore
This is addition to what (Cite Contribution) and Mr Simhan has said.
Mentors are amalgamation of guide, coach, trainer, teacher, counsellor and elderly friend. They are supposed to grow our personality as a whole. They also build character of the mentee.
I did not understand how come you developed emotional attachment with the mentor. Yes I do understand separation from a person who develops you causes distress. But then from your post what I find is not distress but emotional breakdown.
Nothing is permanent in this world except change. So gentleman what you need to do is to choose a new mentor. Finally what matters is career progression and not emotional attachment.
Secondly, you need to mention was this mentor-mentee relationship approved by your organisation? Was it part of your organisation's "Formal Mentoring Programme"? If it is formal programme then you better approach HR or mentoring co-ordinator for providing new mentor to you. From where your old mentor has left, let the new mentor pick up a thread.
Ok...
Dinesh V Divekar
It is not goal but direction decides the destination.
From India, Bangalore
Dear Mr. Ranveer,
How old are you and how old is your mentor?
If i am not wrong, your emotional feelings are making you feel different about your mentor. Please think about your life and let your mentor live his or her life because we members are yet to figure out whats the gender of your mentor...
Most of your statements sounds contradictory to your feelings. You said "i dont know how i forget her"
U need to understrand the role of a MENTOR and its a PROFESSIONAL ROLE offering/extending PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIP. Don't let your emotional feelings spoil your relationship with your mentor...Dont' fall in love with your mentor and try to be a TRUE PROFESSIONAL if you wish to scale up or progress in your CAREER.
Step forward with courage and prove what you are else you will be lost in the middle of the desert......
Other members had given you their best advice. Implement the same in your life.....
With profound regards
From India, Chennai
How old are you and how old is your mentor?
If i am not wrong, your emotional feelings are making you feel different about your mentor. Please think about your life and let your mentor live his or her life because we members are yet to figure out whats the gender of your mentor...
Most of your statements sounds contradictory to your feelings. You said "i dont know how i forget her"
U need to understrand the role of a MENTOR and its a PROFESSIONAL ROLE offering/extending PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIP. Don't let your emotional feelings spoil your relationship with your mentor...Dont' fall in love with your mentor and try to be a TRUE PROFESSIONAL if you wish to scale up or progress in your CAREER.
Step forward with courage and prove what you are else you will be lost in the middle of the desert......
Other members had given you their best advice. Implement the same in your life.....
With profound regards
From India, Chennai
I agree with the senior members above. It appears you have developed an emotional attachment with your mentor, which should have strictly been only Professional. I will not be surprised if your Mentor is only a few years older than you.
To put it bluntly, I guess you have developed a crush for your mentor, and now that she is not there, you are missing her.
Shake it off and move on. It's only in your interest. Look for another mentor (Preferable Male) and don't get emotionally attached this time. Maintain the highest level of professional relationship and you will be good to go.
All the best.
From Netherlands
To put it bluntly, I guess you have developed a crush for your mentor, and now that she is not there, you are missing her.
Shake it off and move on. It's only in your interest. Look for another mentor (Preferable Male) and don't get emotionally attached this time. Maintain the highest level of professional relationship and you will be good to go.
All the best.
From Netherlands
Hi Ranvir
Senior at this forum have discovered your true problem ! .. and also suggested the right thing to do.
Fall in love with your work... !! Not Co-worker (mentor) !!
You seem to be 24 years old I guess, so Boy !! .. long way to go in life, get hold of your life and move on, cry as much as you want, let the tears flow, and then .. walk out .. walk out fresh, walk out new, and fall in love all over again first with your self .. and you will find your destined right person.. until then tolerate the wrong ones !! :-D
From Kuwait, Salmiya
Senior at this forum have discovered your true problem ! .. and also suggested the right thing to do.
Fall in love with your work... !! Not Co-worker (mentor) !!
You seem to be 24 years old I guess, so Boy !! .. long way to go in life, get hold of your life and move on, cry as much as you want, let the tears flow, and then .. walk out .. walk out fresh, walk out new, and fall in love all over again first with your self .. and you will find your destined right person.. until then tolerate the wrong ones !! :-D
From Kuwait, Salmiya
Dear friend Ranveer
Welcome to CiteHR.com !!
You joined this site on 28th June and posted your thread immediately thereafter; presumably as a last resort to find a solution, if what you say - that you have been CRYING since a month - is true.
You haven't given much information about yourself, your job, your role etc. Are you a trainee ??
Inspite of lack of information; seniors have given you appropriate replies and solutions.
In addition to theirs; what I can add is :
It is a pity that you have developed an unhealthy relationship with your Mentor; and your sufferings is caused by it.
Since you are young, I would suggest that you eschew from such habits or pre-disposition of CONSIDERING THE WORKPLACE AS AN AVENUE OR VENUE FOR ROMANTIC LIAISONS; first learn to be good and adept at your job.
Hope this shocks you enough and helps in bringing you out of your miserable state of self-pity, loss of confidence and self-delusions.
Do feel free to write back and seek further support, if you need to.
Warm regards.
From India, Delhi
Welcome to CiteHR.com !!
You joined this site on 28th June and posted your thread immediately thereafter; presumably as a last resort to find a solution, if what you say - that you have been CRYING since a month - is true.
You haven't given much information about yourself, your job, your role etc. Are you a trainee ??
Inspite of lack of information; seniors have given you appropriate replies and solutions.
In addition to theirs; what I can add is :
- The word Mentor is derived from Greek mythology wherein Odysseus put his son Telemachus under the care and tutelage of his friend- Mentor.
- Mentoring is a specialized skill; and your Mentor, sadly, seems to lack this skill; else she could have stopped such a situation.
- A good mentor will not develop an EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCE in the Mentee - the person being mentored.
- Many good companies have very stringent and specific system of Mentoring.
It is a pity that you have developed an unhealthy relationship with your Mentor; and your sufferings is caused by it.
Since you are young, I would suggest that you eschew from such habits or pre-disposition of CONSIDERING THE WORKPLACE AS AN AVENUE OR VENUE FOR ROMANTIC LIAISONS; first learn to be good and adept at your job.
Hope this shocks you enough and helps in bringing you out of your miserable state of self-pity, loss of confidence and self-delusions.
Do feel free to write back and seek further support, if you need to.
Warm regards.
From India, Delhi
Dear Moderators and Seniors.
It appears the guy who started this post has indeed moved on.. He has even deleted his posts and typed some junk characters instead. Is it a good idea to close this thread and move on? People who refer to this thread would not even know what was the original query.
From Netherlands
It appears the guy who started this post has indeed moved on.. He has even deleted his posts and typed some junk characters instead. Is it a good idea to close this thread and move on? People who refer to this thread would not even know what was the original query.
From Netherlands
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Reverse Mentoring through Mentee as a Mentor.pdf