Hi all, I joined a company 3 months ago as an HR professional. Before my joining, there was no HR department in the company. Now, the issue I am facing is with a girl who has been working here for 7 years. She is handicapped and is responsible for the reception department and arranging calls for employees. The problem is that she is very rude and often behaves badly towards everyone. A few days ago, she also misbehaved with me without any reason. I raised this issue with my boss, but there has been no resolution. Many other employees have also complained about her behavior to my boss, but no action has been taken. Recently, another girl who sits next to her in the reception area shared her experiences with me. She is also scared of the girl and mentioned that she has never spoken about this to anyone, including our boss. A few days ago, the girl with the bad behavior mistreated another employee. When I brought this to my boss's attention, he mentioned that she has been working here for 7 years, is very effective at her job, a hard worker, and quite emotional. However, it seems this girl is two-faced. In front of the boss, she acts differently, portraying herself as innocent, while behaving differently when others are present. What should I do in this situation? Please help me.
From India, Kolkata
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2From India, Kolkata
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Dear Hiral,
The thumb rule of being an HR is that when you highlight a problem, keep a suggested solution ready with you. Simply going and complaining to your boss will not serve the purpose. The fact that she has been associated with the organization for 7 years, and seniors believe that she is a hard worker, plus she has brownie points for having gained their trust, will make things difficult for you. Another fact is that she is a special case being handicapped, which needs to be addressed with proper care. As an HR, this responsibility lies on your shoulders.
I suggest the following steps:
- Talk to your boss, starting by telling him how other employees have come to you with the stress they are facing due to her behavior. If needed, have them talk to your boss directly.
- Explain to your boss how equally important it is for the company to address these problems to ensure that employees can work stress-free and loyally.
- Share your experience with him.
- Suggest that he makes an anonymous call to the reception to verify the situation.
- Politely explain to him how important it is for you, as an HR, to handle such a situation so that everyone benefits positively.
- Inquire if the company can arrange a friendly counseling session for her separately.
Additionally, try to engage in a positive conversation with her to see if the tension between you two can be eased, allowing you to gain her trust as an HR. It would also be beneficial to establish some general code of conduct policies for your company (with approval from your seniors) and circulate them to all employees to see if this leads to any changes.
Good luck!
From India, Mumbai
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The thumb rule of being an HR is that when you highlight a problem, keep a suggested solution ready with you. Simply going and complaining to your boss will not serve the purpose. The fact that she has been associated with the organization for 7 years, and seniors believe that she is a hard worker, plus she has brownie points for having gained their trust, will make things difficult for you. Another fact is that she is a special case being handicapped, which needs to be addressed with proper care. As an HR, this responsibility lies on your shoulders.
I suggest the following steps:
- Talk to your boss, starting by telling him how other employees have come to you with the stress they are facing due to her behavior. If needed, have them talk to your boss directly.
- Explain to your boss how equally important it is for the company to address these problems to ensure that employees can work stress-free and loyally.
- Share your experience with him.
- Suggest that he makes an anonymous call to the reception to verify the situation.
- Politely explain to him how important it is for you, as an HR, to handle such a situation so that everyone benefits positively.
- Inquire if the company can arrange a friendly counseling session for her separately.
Additionally, try to engage in a positive conversation with her to see if the tension between you two can be eased, allowing you to gain her trust as an HR. It would also be beneficial to establish some general code of conduct policies for your company (with approval from your seniors) and circulate them to all employees to see if this leads to any changes.
Good luck!
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Hiral,
She is a rookie to what you are, a newbie. No amount of complaining can help unless you have a camera placed without her knowledge, capturing her misbehavior.
However, this will equally backfire as it will show you as a conniving HR.
Hence, initially observe her with as little interaction as possible. Connect with her when seniors are around. Push the envelope at that point and finish all your tasks you have with her.
I had a bully reporting to me in one of my roles. She had joined the firm long back and felt she was eligible for the role; the employers hired me. The bone of contention literally remains till date. If given a chance, she wouldn't miss trolling me, if not bullying.
On my part, I kept every communication extremely official with her. Mostly connected over email, even when she sat two desks next to mine. In case she played smart, I used to copy my boss on the thread. She had to mellow down.
However, this wasn't all. She went around provoking everyone against me. Yes, I used to lose my cool, till I learned that when people will need me, they will come to me on their terms. And that changed the game. I made sure the processes are flagged off by me. I had enough knowledge; hence, I could stand my ground.
I am sure there are many more ways to deal with bullies at work.
Understanding and empathizing with them is important. But that alone doesn't solve the problem. Just as she got seasoned by bullying others for years, I too trained myself on handling such people.
Wish you all the best!
From India, Mumbai
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She is a rookie to what you are, a newbie. No amount of complaining can help unless you have a camera placed without her knowledge, capturing her misbehavior.
However, this will equally backfire as it will show you as a conniving HR.
Hence, initially observe her with as little interaction as possible. Connect with her when seniors are around. Push the envelope at that point and finish all your tasks you have with her.
I had a bully reporting to me in one of my roles. She had joined the firm long back and felt she was eligible for the role; the employers hired me. The bone of contention literally remains till date. If given a chance, she wouldn't miss trolling me, if not bullying.
On my part, I kept every communication extremely official with her. Mostly connected over email, even when she sat two desks next to mine. In case she played smart, I used to copy my boss on the thread. She had to mellow down.
However, this wasn't all. She went around provoking everyone against me. Yes, I used to lose my cool, till I learned that when people will need me, they will come to me on their terms. And that changed the game. I made sure the processes are flagged off by me. I had enough knowledge; hence, I could stand my ground.
I am sure there are many more ways to deal with bullies at work.
Understanding and empathizing with them is important. But that alone doesn't solve the problem. Just as she got seasoned by bullying others for years, I too trained myself on handling such people.
Wish you all the best!
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Hiral,
I have a different view here. Perhaps it might provide you an entirely new perspective to look at the situation, and consequently provide you with more alternatives to deal with the situation. Therefore, instead of taking your side and agreeing with all your insinuations, let me try to play the Devil's Advocate here.
First of all, let us understand that if you joined a company as an HR recently, where there was no HR or HR system earlier, it is safe to assume that it must be a private organization, that too a very small one. What is the present headcount? Since an HR has been recruited for the first time, it must be around 100.
Now, do you understand the fact that in such a small organization, there must be face-to-face interaction between the staff? Everyone must be knowing the other person well, even to the extent of knowing their families. You have been here for three months as an HR. How well do you know your employees? Do you know what problems that employee may be facing commuting to work every day and then dealing with her family responsibilities? A good HR's work is not restricted just to the workplace.
The person for whom you used the term "handicap" had been working there for 7 years. Tell me, does a small private organization exist for CHARITY TO THE DISABLED? And, by the way, it is very DEROGATORY to use the term "handicap" for People with Disabilities! Especially, an HR who deals with Human Beings, especially Employees, using a term like "handicap," that too with wrong spellings; what can anyone INFER about his capabilities and sensitivity? Are you not aware of what is the right term to use for PERSONS WITH DISABILITIES?
Moreover, you need to be more Disability-sensitive and learn Disability-language as being an HR with a long career ahead, you have a long way to go, and you will meet many "Persons With Disabilities" in your career in the future! So avoid becoming "emotionally-challenged"!
Moreover, despite complaining twice to the Boss, nothing happened! On the contrary, you were given FEEDBACK ON HER GOOD PERFORMANCE by the boss himself! So what does it speak about that PERSON WITH DISABILITIES? It only says that despite her physical disability, she is a Star Performer! You must be aware very well of how difficult it is to survive in the private sector if one doesn't perform even for a few months, and this lady has been winning accolades for 7 long years. So, there is absolutely no doubt about her Performance part.
Now, coming to the MISBEHAVIOR aspect: What is "misbehavior"? And what is "being rude"? A person may not be soft-spoken or talkative. Another person may perceive this as being rude. A person may not, for whatever reason, greet you back when you say "Good Morning!" Some may construe it as Misbehavior! Some may find it very offending - in the same manner if you call a physically disabled person - "Handicap"! Just imagine if such persons are reading your post, what impressions they will have about you?
To conclude, I would suggest that you change your perception and attitude about people. Stop feeling threatened and try to ACCEPT PEOPLE AS THEY ARE. Not everybody can be sweet and nice to you, nor they need to. Acknowledge this fact and do not judge them based on what you think are their intentions.
Moreover, a good organization thrives on DIVERSITY. It is the hallmark of a thriving growing company. It's good that your company believes in Diversity at the Workplace. It's good to know that your company is an EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER in the true sense.
Finally, there doesn't appear to be any instance of "Bullying" because Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. Two important aspects of bullying are: the person being bullied (victim) is weaker than the bully and the person is bullied to do something, which normally he would not do. In this case, both these vital elements are missing. So it might be construed as Rude behavior or Misbehavior, but it would need a really fertile imagination to call it a case of Bullying, of a Sr. HR with no physical disabilities by a person with disabilities working as a Receptionist.
Hope my words did not offend or hurt you because that was not my intention. If you are looking for a practical solution, then this is what I think might work: Go and talk to the employee concerned. Tell her how offended and hurt you felt due to her curt behavior with you, and how others also told you about a few such instances. In desperation, you went to the Boss with complaints. And how the Boss gave you feedback on her excellent performance and how happy he is to consider you as an asset for the organization.
Now, this suggested solution will only work if you shed your ego, hatred, and insensitivity towards others; and are able to convey your genuine feelings of appreciation.
Warm regards.
From India, Delhi
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I have a different view here. Perhaps it might provide you an entirely new perspective to look at the situation, and consequently provide you with more alternatives to deal with the situation. Therefore, instead of taking your side and agreeing with all your insinuations, let me try to play the Devil's Advocate here.
First of all, let us understand that if you joined a company as an HR recently, where there was no HR or HR system earlier, it is safe to assume that it must be a private organization, that too a very small one. What is the present headcount? Since an HR has been recruited for the first time, it must be around 100.
Now, do you understand the fact that in such a small organization, there must be face-to-face interaction between the staff? Everyone must be knowing the other person well, even to the extent of knowing their families. You have been here for three months as an HR. How well do you know your employees? Do you know what problems that employee may be facing commuting to work every day and then dealing with her family responsibilities? A good HR's work is not restricted just to the workplace.
The person for whom you used the term "handicap" had been working there for 7 years. Tell me, does a small private organization exist for CHARITY TO THE DISABLED? And, by the way, it is very DEROGATORY to use the term "handicap" for People with Disabilities! Especially, an HR who deals with Human Beings, especially Employees, using a term like "handicap," that too with wrong spellings; what can anyone INFER about his capabilities and sensitivity? Are you not aware of what is the right term to use for PERSONS WITH DISABILITIES?
Moreover, you need to be more Disability-sensitive and learn Disability-language as being an HR with a long career ahead, you have a long way to go, and you will meet many "Persons With Disabilities" in your career in the future! So avoid becoming "emotionally-challenged"!
Moreover, despite complaining twice to the Boss, nothing happened! On the contrary, you were given FEEDBACK ON HER GOOD PERFORMANCE by the boss himself! So what does it speak about that PERSON WITH DISABILITIES? It only says that despite her physical disability, she is a Star Performer! You must be aware very well of how difficult it is to survive in the private sector if one doesn't perform even for a few months, and this lady has been winning accolades for 7 long years. So, there is absolutely no doubt about her Performance part.
Now, coming to the MISBEHAVIOR aspect: What is "misbehavior"? And what is "being rude"? A person may not be soft-spoken or talkative. Another person may perceive this as being rude. A person may not, for whatever reason, greet you back when you say "Good Morning!" Some may construe it as Misbehavior! Some may find it very offending - in the same manner if you call a physically disabled person - "Handicap"! Just imagine if such persons are reading your post, what impressions they will have about you?
To conclude, I would suggest that you change your perception and attitude about people. Stop feeling threatened and try to ACCEPT PEOPLE AS THEY ARE. Not everybody can be sweet and nice to you, nor they need to. Acknowledge this fact and do not judge them based on what you think are their intentions.
Moreover, a good organization thrives on DIVERSITY. It is the hallmark of a thriving growing company. It's good that your company believes in Diversity at the Workplace. It's good to know that your company is an EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER in the true sense.
Finally, there doesn't appear to be any instance of "Bullying" because Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. Two important aspects of bullying are: the person being bullied (victim) is weaker than the bully and the person is bullied to do something, which normally he would not do. In this case, both these vital elements are missing. So it might be construed as Rude behavior or Misbehavior, but it would need a really fertile imagination to call it a case of Bullying, of a Sr. HR with no physical disabilities by a person with disabilities working as a Receptionist.
Hope my words did not offend or hurt you because that was not my intention. If you are looking for a practical solution, then this is what I think might work: Go and talk to the employee concerned. Tell her how offended and hurt you felt due to her curt behavior with you, and how others also told you about a few such instances. In desperation, you went to the Boss with complaints. And how the Boss gave you feedback on her excellent performance and how happy he is to consider you as an asset for the organization.
Now, this suggested solution will only work if you shed your ego, hatred, and insensitivity towards others; and are able to convey your genuine feelings of appreciation.
Warm regards.
From India, Delhi
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""Many time make the world"" Read as many types make the world.
From India, Pune
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From India, Pune
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Hello Hiral Bhojani,
I am not sure of your experience level. But being in HR, I am sure you would know... or at the very least have observed... that the Reference Points of judging or forming an opinion of people depend on many factors and also keep varying over time. And this has NOTHING to do with HR per se - it's plain human psychology, whether in office or personal situations [who would YOU give more weightage to, at least initially... a 3-month-old friendship or a 7-year-old friendship?].
Here you have this lady who has been working for 7 years, and you joined 3 months back. That's Factor #1 - IF you were in the boss's position, WHOM would you give more weightage to?
Next, coming to Factor #2 - she's working in the Reception. You are the First HR person to join. Who was handling... EVEN IF informally... the HR function so far? My bet is that this lady would have been handling... at least a major chunk of the running-around activities. Now IF you were this Lady, how would you respond/react IF someone came and (in your view) took over some of your responsibilities - and consequently the credit - from you and you are left with minor jobs like Reception, etc? Irrespective of the level or designation or salary, most people, subconsciously, aspire for recognition/credit, whether deserved or not.
Factor #3 - Like other members have pointed out, small/medium companies don't tolerate lack of bad performance for long [not that large/big Companies do, but it takes a bit more time to realize this aspect before action is taken, due to the processes and hierarchy involved]. The very fact that she has been here for 7 years surely points to some effective aspects that the boss likes in her... at least from the Company's perspective.
And your usage of words like 'so rude', 'misbehaving', etc. - it would have been good had you given specific examples. That would have put the issue you raised under clear focus... since such generic words are always open to interpretation.
And I would suggest NEVER take judgement calls based on 'hearsay' - what other employees say may be based on THEIR experiences of the individual. But YOUR experience COULD be different.
Coming to the options open to you:
1. Like Nathrao suggested, just interact with her to the point and just on an official level.
2. The next thing you could do is to keep your focus on your responsibilities and SHOW your mettle... this would take time before your boss begins to recognize your worth. But that's the only way to do it... just DON'T look for shortcuts [chances are you would fall flat on your face, even though shortcuts CAN bring you short-term results].
3. In situations/issues where YOUR job depends on this lady's work too, try to put things in writing so that there's no scope for any hanky-panky later - meaning cover your position in such situations.
4. MORE importantly, LEARN from this on how to handle different kinds of people - that's what, after all, experience is all about. And being in HR, it is NOT an option for you. It's a necessity.
After all the above, IN CASE you were looking for suggestions from the members on 'ways to hit/get back at her', then please IGNORE this posting. It's meant for your long-term interest.
All the Best.
Regards,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
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I am not sure of your experience level. But being in HR, I am sure you would know... or at the very least have observed... that the Reference Points of judging or forming an opinion of people depend on many factors and also keep varying over time. And this has NOTHING to do with HR per se - it's plain human psychology, whether in office or personal situations [who would YOU give more weightage to, at least initially... a 3-month-old friendship or a 7-year-old friendship?].
Here you have this lady who has been working for 7 years, and you joined 3 months back. That's Factor #1 - IF you were in the boss's position, WHOM would you give more weightage to?
Next, coming to Factor #2 - she's working in the Reception. You are the First HR person to join. Who was handling... EVEN IF informally... the HR function so far? My bet is that this lady would have been handling... at least a major chunk of the running-around activities. Now IF you were this Lady, how would you respond/react IF someone came and (in your view) took over some of your responsibilities - and consequently the credit - from you and you are left with minor jobs like Reception, etc? Irrespective of the level or designation or salary, most people, subconsciously, aspire for recognition/credit, whether deserved or not.
Factor #3 - Like other members have pointed out, small/medium companies don't tolerate lack of bad performance for long [not that large/big Companies do, but it takes a bit more time to realize this aspect before action is taken, due to the processes and hierarchy involved]. The very fact that she has been here for 7 years surely points to some effective aspects that the boss likes in her... at least from the Company's perspective.
And your usage of words like 'so rude', 'misbehaving', etc. - it would have been good had you given specific examples. That would have put the issue you raised under clear focus... since such generic words are always open to interpretation.
And I would suggest NEVER take judgement calls based on 'hearsay' - what other employees say may be based on THEIR experiences of the individual. But YOUR experience COULD be different.
Coming to the options open to you:
1. Like Nathrao suggested, just interact with her to the point and just on an official level.
2. The next thing you could do is to keep your focus on your responsibilities and SHOW your mettle... this would take time before your boss begins to recognize your worth. But that's the only way to do it... just DON'T look for shortcuts [chances are you would fall flat on your face, even though shortcuts CAN bring you short-term results].
3. In situations/issues where YOUR job depends on this lady's work too, try to put things in writing so that there's no scope for any hanky-panky later - meaning cover your position in such situations.
4. MORE importantly, LEARN from this on how to handle different kinds of people - that's what, after all, experience is all about. And being in HR, it is NOT an option for you. It's a necessity.
After all the above, IN CASE you were looking for suggestions from the members on 'ways to hit/get back at her', then please IGNORE this posting. It's meant for your long-term interest.
All the Best.
Regards,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
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Dear Raj Kumar,
A clear message you have given to newcomers in the HR field. Most newcomers are not aware of their responsibilities but want to show their power only, not aware of the basic principles of HR management. A very good reply. Really appreciated.
From India, Calicut
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A clear message you have given to newcomers in the HR field. Most newcomers are not aware of their responsibilities but want to show their power only, not aware of the basic principles of HR management. A very good reply. Really appreciated.
From India, Calicut
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From India, undefined
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For more details, click here: http://wp.me/p74J4C-1A
From India, undefined
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It took me some time to understand your writing at first! You said you are in the HR department. I am sure you would have completed your graduation and a postgraduate degree in HR. Can you not write simple English sentences with capital letters, punctuation marks, etc.? It will be torture for somebody to read, understand, and advise you. I really appreciate the patience of all those who have responded to you before me. There is something called communication etiquette - what to write and how to write. In the twelve lines I see here, I could manage to find out one full stop! You cannot assume that all those who are reading your postings are jobless or sitting idle. Please do not make our lives miserable.
Best wishes
From India, Bengaluru
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Best wishes
From India, Bengaluru
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Sir, I appreciate the views of Sh. N.K. Sundram ji as above. Since sometimes, I also feel that some new participants may be deliberately starting new threads and asking such questions in order to test not only our knowledge and experience but also English grammar and punctuation, etc. Some even do not mention their names and write as anonymous. Perhaps the Admin of this citeHR will take care of such matters.
From India, Noida
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From India, Noida
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