Dear All, Whenever I am writing any official letter in office to our Head Office or to our Corporate Clients, I mention as on whose behalf am writing that letter and most of the time using "I had a discussion" or "I suggest" so want your suggestions that whether writing "I" or "we" is more correct?
If any more information is needed to let me know the things please let me know I will share it surely. Waiting for your kind views on this. Thank you very much.
From India, Mumbai
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3If any more information is needed to let me know the things please let me know I will share it surely. Waiting for your kind views on this. Thank you very much.
From India, Mumbai
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Hi Vrushali
Please send me a sample of one of your correspondence with HO or Corporate Clients and I shall revert to you with my comments and suggestions. My email is available on my website listed under my name below. Alternatively you can upload the same here and others too can study it and add their suggestions.
Please remove the name of the organization you work for and any reference to a client or any confidential information before you share the communication
Regards
From India, Mumbai
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Please send me a sample of one of your correspondence with HO or Corporate Clients and I shall revert to you with my comments and suggestions. My email is available on my website listed under my name below. Alternatively you can upload the same here and others too can study it and add their suggestions.
Please remove the name of the organization you work for and any reference to a client or any confidential information before you share the communication
Regards
From India, Mumbai
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To: Mr. xxxxx & Mr. xxxxxxx
We kindly inform you that xxxxx is having a less than satisfactory experience with our supplied BBM & BCM. This has now become a very sensitive issue to handle. We are losing customers left and right because of these machines.
Since you are well aware that xxxxx is a key customer in the Gujarat region, our business relations as well as personal level relations are now spoiled because of these defective machines. We are not in favor of replacing these machines and thus, we are losing such valuable customers along with others.
We wish to hear from you at the soonest possible so that we do not lose this customer as it is not affordable for us.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxx
Director
Dear Sir,
Thank you very much for your feedback. I have mentioned in the letter above where you can understand that this letter is sent to HO on behalf of the Director, so I am confused about whether I can use "I" or "we".
Sometimes I feel "we" is quite okay as it's on behalf of management, but the director himself is writing the letter, so I am getting confused again.
It would be of great help if you could update me on the same.
Thank you once again and sorry for the late reply on the thread, especially since it was started by me seeking help. I hope you will forgive me this time and provide your valuable input on the matter.
Regards,
Vrushali
From India, Mumbai
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We kindly inform you that xxxxx is having a less than satisfactory experience with our supplied BBM & BCM. This has now become a very sensitive issue to handle. We are losing customers left and right because of these machines.
Since you are well aware that xxxxx is a key customer in the Gujarat region, our business relations as well as personal level relations are now spoiled because of these defective machines. We are not in favor of replacing these machines and thus, we are losing such valuable customers along with others.
We wish to hear from you at the soonest possible so that we do not lose this customer as it is not affordable for us.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxx
Director
Dear Sir,
Thank you very much for your feedback. I have mentioned in the letter above where you can understand that this letter is sent to HO on behalf of the Director, so I am confused about whether I can use "I" or "we".
Sometimes I feel "we" is quite okay as it's on behalf of management, but the director himself is writing the letter, so I am getting confused again.
It would be of great help if you could update me on the same.
Thank you once again and sorry for the late reply on the thread, especially since it was started by me seeking help. I hope you will forgive me this time and provide your valuable input on the matter.
Regards,
Vrushali
From India, Mumbai
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(Fact Check Failed/Partial)-The user's reply contains multiple grammatical errors and lacks clarity. When writing official letters on behalf of a director, it is more appropriate to use "we" instead of "I" to reflect the collective decision-making of the management team. It helps convey a sense of unity and consensus within the organization.
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Dear Vrushali,
Far from worrying about "I" or "we," I recommend you concentrate on the structure of the sentence or the paragraph. I say this because your first paragraph is a disaster as far as business writing is concerned. After reading it several times, I feel the following should be the structure of the first paragraph:
1. This is to inform you that xxxxx is not satisfied with BBM & BCM that we have supplied to them. The under-performance of these machines has become a very sensitive issue to handle. Due to the under-performance of these machines, our customer base is shrinking.
2. You are well aware that xxxxx is a key customer in the Gujarat region. The supply of these defective machines has spoiled our business relations. Since we are not in favor of replacing these machines, we are losing such a valuable customer along with others.
3. We wish to hear from you regarding the replacement of the machines and the supply of defect-free machines. It will help us in retaining the existing customers.
Notes: I have drafted the letter based on my understanding. Practical requirements or ground reality may be different.
Following are the rules of business writing:
a) Always start with background information, i.e., what happened in the past, then move on to the consequences, and lastly, your expectations, i.e., what the other party needs to do.
b) Let there be some transitional words or sentences in between.
c) Use active voice over passive voice.
d) Communication, whether verbal or written, makes an impact when we use specific words. In your communication, words like "under-performance" and "customer base" were missing.
e) You need to take business writing skills seriously.
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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Far from worrying about "I" or "we," I recommend you concentrate on the structure of the sentence or the paragraph. I say this because your first paragraph is a disaster as far as business writing is concerned. After reading it several times, I feel the following should be the structure of the first paragraph:
1. This is to inform you that xxxxx is not satisfied with BBM & BCM that we have supplied to them. The under-performance of these machines has become a very sensitive issue to handle. Due to the under-performance of these machines, our customer base is shrinking.
2. You are well aware that xxxxx is a key customer in the Gujarat region. The supply of these defective machines has spoiled our business relations. Since we are not in favor of replacing these machines, we are losing such a valuable customer along with others.
3. We wish to hear from you regarding the replacement of the machines and the supply of defect-free machines. It will help us in retaining the existing customers.
Notes: I have drafted the letter based on my understanding. Practical requirements or ground reality may be different.
Following are the rules of business writing:
a) Always start with background information, i.e., what happened in the past, then move on to the consequences, and lastly, your expectations, i.e., what the other party needs to do.
b) Let there be some transitional words or sentences in between.
c) Use active voice over passive voice.
d) Communication, whether verbal or written, makes an impact when we use specific words. In your communication, words like "under-performance" and "customer base" were missing.
e) You need to take business writing skills seriously.
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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(Fact Check Failed/Partial)-The user's reply provides valuable suggestions on improving the structure and content of the letter, emphasizing the importance of business writing skills. However, it does not directly address the question of whether to use "I" or "we" in official letters. Additionally, the user's reply could benefit from a more direct response to the original query.
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Hi Vrushali,
Mr. Divekar has given you some good inputs on the subject. Since your director is writing on behalf of the company, using "WE" is acceptable in my view. I have taken the liberty of drafting the inter-office communication again based on my understanding of the facts as shared by you in your draft IOM.
It is essential that the gist of the complaints be specified in the communication and the facts about customer complaints shared to enable the recipients to understand the seriousness of the issue.
Hope the draft enables you to craft a suitable IOM.
Regards
From India, Mumbai
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Mr. Divekar has given you some good inputs on the subject. Since your director is writing on behalf of the company, using "WE" is acceptable in my view. I have taken the liberty of drafting the inter-office communication again based on my understanding of the facts as shared by you in your draft IOM.
It is essential that the gist of the complaints be specified in the communication and the facts about customer complaints shared to enable the recipients to understand the seriousness of the issue.
Hope the draft enables you to craft a suitable IOM.
Regards
From India, Mumbai
Acknowledge(1)Amend(0)CiteHR.AI
(Fact Check Failed/Partial)-The user's reply is incorrect. In official communication, it is more appropriate to use "we" when representing the company, not "I." This helps maintain a professional and corporate tone. It is essential to align the language with the company's identity.
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Dear Sirs,
Thank you so much for your valuable inputs. I do understand that I am lacking in English, and the result of the same is reflected in my writing too. I learned in a vernacular medium, so that might be the reason. However, I have started reading more business communication in the last few days, so I am hoping that I will improve my English vocabulary. This improvement will allow me to be more specific and use the proper words in appropriate places.
The drafts that you shared are so perfect that they convey exactly what we wished to express. I am happy that I opened the thread, saw the first reply, and posted my drafts; this has really helped me understand where exactly I am lacking.
I will keep posting about the problems I am facing while communicating so that I can improve myself with such valuable inputs from seniors.
Thank you once again.
Regards,
Vrushali
From India, Mumbai
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Thank you so much for your valuable inputs. I do understand that I am lacking in English, and the result of the same is reflected in my writing too. I learned in a vernacular medium, so that might be the reason. However, I have started reading more business communication in the last few days, so I am hoping that I will improve my English vocabulary. This improvement will allow me to be more specific and use the proper words in appropriate places.
The drafts that you shared are so perfect that they convey exactly what we wished to express. I am happy that I opened the thread, saw the first reply, and posted my drafts; this has really helped me understand where exactly I am lacking.
I will keep posting about the problems I am facing while communicating so that I can improve myself with such valuable inputs from seniors.
Thank you once again.
Regards,
Vrushali
From India, Mumbai
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)CiteHR.AI
(Fact Check Failed/Partial)-The user's reply does not address the original question regarding whether to use "I" or "we" in official letters. It focuses more on English language improvement. Please refer to business communication books like "Business Communication: Building Critical Skills" by Locker & Kaczmarek for guidance.
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Dear Vrushali,
Thanks for the acknowledgment of our efforts. Very few write "thank you" posts. You may check the following thread also. I have recommended corrections in the draft provided by another member:
https://www.citehr.com/428012-how-wr...ce-duties.html
Thanks,
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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Thanks for the acknowledgment of our efforts. Very few write "thank you" posts. You may check the following thread also. I have recommended corrections in the draft provided by another member:
https://www.citehr.com/428012-how-wr...ce-duties.html
Thanks,
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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(Fact Check Failed/Partial)-[response]
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Dear Divekar Sir,
Thank you for providing this link. I have gone through that thread and understand how letters can be drafted on various subjects.
Thank you so much for taking these efforts.
Regards,
Vrushali
From India, Mumbai
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Thank you for providing this link. I have gone through that thread and understand how letters can be drafted on various subjects.
Thank you so much for taking these efforts.
Regards,
Vrushali
From India, Mumbai
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)CiteHR.AI
(Fact Check Failed/Partial)-The user reply does not address the original query and seems to be a response to a different link or thread. It would be more beneficial to provide input on the usage of "I" or "we" in official letters.
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(Fact Check Failed/Partial)-The user reply is incorrect. In formal business communication, it is generally more appropriate to use "we" instead of "I" to represent the organization collectively, even if you are the sole author of the letter.