Hi,
I recently joined a company as an HR manager, and the management told me about a particular employee who is very hot-tempered and does not want to mingle with anyone. He sits in his seat throughout the day, does his work, and is always alone (he even does not come off his seat during breaks). The management doesn't want to dismiss him because he is a highly productive employee, but they want the HR team to help him socialize with others.
I once noticed that when one of the HR executives asked this employee to join him for tea, he started screaming at the HR, saying, "I don't want to come for tea with anyone...just leave me alone," leaving the HR person feeling embarrassed in front of everyone. This is a very tough situation. Can anyone please tell me how to handle such a person so that I can pass it on to the entire HR team?
Regards
From India, Trivandrum
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1I recently joined a company as an HR manager, and the management told me about a particular employee who is very hot-tempered and does not want to mingle with anyone. He sits in his seat throughout the day, does his work, and is always alone (he even does not come off his seat during breaks). The management doesn't want to dismiss him because he is a highly productive employee, but they want the HR team to help him socialize with others.
I once noticed that when one of the HR executives asked this employee to join him for tea, he started screaming at the HR, saying, "I don't want to come for tea with anyone...just leave me alone," leaving the HR person feeling embarrassed in front of everyone. This is a very tough situation. Can anyone please tell me how to handle such a person so that I can pass it on to the entire HR team?
Regards
From India, Trivandrum
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If he is a productive employee who wants to be left alone, what's the problem? Why should anyone be forced to socialize?
I am not an HR person, but if management had asked me, I would have inquired, "why?" First, one needs to gain his confidence to find out what is bothering him. How long has he been with the firm? Has he been like that since he joined?
From United Kingdom
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I am not an HR person, but if management had asked me, I would have inquired, "why?" First, one needs to gain his confidence to find out what is bothering him. How long has he been with the firm? Has he been like that since he joined?
From United Kingdom
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Dear friend,
First and foremost, let me give you feedback that when you ask for some suggestions in a public forum, courtesy demands disclosure of your name. Secondly, you could have mentioned the type of company you work for and the designation of this person, etc.
After going through your post, I feel that this person may have some family problems. Perhaps he had a troubled childhood that has driven him to seclusion.
I hope you are a Keralite, and that person is also a Keralite. I have had the benefit of working with people from all states of India. Based on my 30 years of experience and observation, I find that overall Keralites tend to be snobbish and introverted. So, when a Keralite describes their Keralite colleague as introverted, I can imagine the gravity of the situation.
This situation needs to be handled by a senior person, preferably an elder. I say this because today we have many seniors who are also young. An elder person can provide feedback on the importance of social skills and overcoming tendencies towards solitude. Leadership requires establishing connections with others. Introversion, beyond a certain point, can be counterproductive. While working alone may be acceptable at his current level, at a senior level, one must deal with people issues, making interpersonal skills crucial. Additionally, the elder person can also share insights from Daniel Goleman, who states that 85% of success comes from relationships, and only 15% from intelligence or qualifications. How can anyone build relationships without communication?
In the 21st century, personal branding plays a significant role. Networking is crucial for personal branding. How can one promote their brand without networking? Apart from personal networking, virtual networks like Citehr are also important.
I recommend nominating this employee for training programs on "Emotional Intelligence" and "Personality Development."
My second recommendation is to institute a well-designed "Mentoring Program" in your company. Mentoring is an ongoing activity, and eventually, this person may open up. Ensure the mentoring program is properly devised; otherwise, a half-baked approach may do more harm than good.
My final suggestion is to the manager of this person. What is the manager of this "Mr. Introvert" doing? Why is he not taking the initiative to develop social skills in this individual? The department's manager is the right person to help develop the junior's personality. No one, except one's mother, can do as much as a manager in this regard.
Best regards,
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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First and foremost, let me give you feedback that when you ask for some suggestions in a public forum, courtesy demands disclosure of your name. Secondly, you could have mentioned the type of company you work for and the designation of this person, etc.
After going through your post, I feel that this person may have some family problems. Perhaps he had a troubled childhood that has driven him to seclusion.
I hope you are a Keralite, and that person is also a Keralite. I have had the benefit of working with people from all states of India. Based on my 30 years of experience and observation, I find that overall Keralites tend to be snobbish and introverted. So, when a Keralite describes their Keralite colleague as introverted, I can imagine the gravity of the situation.
This situation needs to be handled by a senior person, preferably an elder. I say this because today we have many seniors who are also young. An elder person can provide feedback on the importance of social skills and overcoming tendencies towards solitude. Leadership requires establishing connections with others. Introversion, beyond a certain point, can be counterproductive. While working alone may be acceptable at his current level, at a senior level, one must deal with people issues, making interpersonal skills crucial. Additionally, the elder person can also share insights from Daniel Goleman, who states that 85% of success comes from relationships, and only 15% from intelligence or qualifications. How can anyone build relationships without communication?
In the 21st century, personal branding plays a significant role. Networking is crucial for personal branding. How can one promote their brand without networking? Apart from personal networking, virtual networks like Citehr are also important.
I recommend nominating this employee for training programs on "Emotional Intelligence" and "Personality Development."
My second recommendation is to institute a well-designed "Mentoring Program" in your company. Mentoring is an ongoing activity, and eventually, this person may open up. Ensure the mentoring program is properly devised; otherwise, a half-baked approach may do more harm than good.
My final suggestion is to the manager of this person. What is the manager of this "Mr. Introvert" doing? Why is he not taking the initiative to develop social skills in this individual? The department's manager is the right person to help develop the junior's personality. No one, except one's mother, can do as much as a manager in this regard.
Best regards,
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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Hello Dinesh,
I respect and appreciate the suggestions you have given. Nominating the employee for a good 'personality development course' will be the best solution.
But Dinesh, I totally disagree with the reasons that led you to conclude that both are Keralites. I am from Kerala, and I could see some language slang issues with Keralites, but even with that, they are very active and helpful in offices.
Thanks and Regards,
Shanto Aloor
Consultant
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I respect and appreciate the suggestions you have given. Nominating the employee for a good 'personality development course' will be the best solution.
But Dinesh, I totally disagree with the reasons that led you to conclude that both are Keralites. I am from Kerala, and I could see some language slang issues with Keralites, but even with that, they are very active and helpful in offices.
Thanks and Regards,
Shanto Aloor
Consultant
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Dear,
If any employee is not ready to mingle with anybody, just observe him outside, I mean, family functions. If their behavior is not the same as in the office, try to understand their problems. It could be financial or related to family or something else.
Encourage all your employees to speak with him continuously; then, he may start to socialize.
From India, Hyderabad
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If any employee is not ready to mingle with anybody, just observe him outside, I mean, family functions. If their behavior is not the same as in the office, try to understand their problems. It could be financial or related to family or something else.
Encourage all your employees to speak with him continuously; then, he may start to socialize.
From India, Hyderabad
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I agree with Simhan that if he is productive, don't bother him too much. That said, yes, HR functions demand that this person should be taken care of. Here I agree with Dinesh Divekar that he may be having a troubled family situation, which is personal and it is his choice to discuss or not. In my view, you or at least one designated person has to take a greater responsibility. The process will be very slow.
Start with greeting the person with a smile. Even if he does not return the smile, continue. Then shift to Hello, How are you, and so on. Develop trust. Do not ask direct personal questions. Find excuses to visit this person and be nice to him each visit. Once you are able to gain his trust, this person will break down and share everything with you. Do not disclose this information with anyone - not even your boss.
Having released the emotions, this person will start socializing.
Arun Chitlangia
From India, Mumbai
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Start with greeting the person with a smile. Even if he does not return the smile, continue. Then shift to Hello, How are you, and so on. Develop trust. Do not ask direct personal questions. Find excuses to visit this person and be nice to him each visit. Once you are able to gain his trust, this person will break down and share everything with you. Do not disclose this information with anyone - not even your boss.
Having released the emotions, this person will start socializing.
Arun Chitlangia
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Shanto Aloor,
What I have written about people of a particular section of the country is based on my observations of the last three decades. I hope you agree that a period of three decades is not insignificant. Neither slang nor offense is intended against anyone. I never wrote that they are not helpful.
A couple of years in college and my daughter have also come to the same conclusion that I have about them.
One has to accept what one is. Notwithstanding the legacy of Bal Gangadhar Tilak or others, today we find that Marathis lack intellectual assertiveness. I have openly told this to whoever needs to be told.
Feedback, Shanto, is feedback. Whether to accept it or disregard it is one's personal choice.
DVD
Hello Dinesh,
I respect and appreciate the suggestions you have given. Nominating the employee for a good 'personality development course' will be the best solution.
But Dinesh, I totally disagree with the reasons that made you conclude that both are Keralites.
I am from Kerala; I could see some language slang issues with Keralites, but even with that, they are very active and helpful in offices.
Thanks and Regards,
Shanto Aloor
Consultant
From India, Bangalore
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What I have written about people of a particular section of the country is based on my observations of the last three decades. I hope you agree that a period of three decades is not insignificant. Neither slang nor offense is intended against anyone. I never wrote that they are not helpful.
A couple of years in college and my daughter have also come to the same conclusion that I have about them.
One has to accept what one is. Notwithstanding the legacy of Bal Gangadhar Tilak or others, today we find that Marathis lack intellectual assertiveness. I have openly told this to whoever needs to be told.
Feedback, Shanto, is feedback. Whether to accept it or disregard it is one's personal choice.
DVD
Hello Dinesh,
I respect and appreciate the suggestions you have given. Nominating the employee for a good 'personality development course' will be the best solution.
But Dinesh, I totally disagree with the reasons that made you conclude that both are Keralites.
I am from Kerala; I could see some language slang issues with Keralites, but even with that, they are very active and helpful in offices.
Thanks and Regards,
Shanto Aloor
Consultant
From India, Bangalore
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Dear New HR,
I second Mr. Simhan and Mr. Dinesh.
I couldn't digest your sentence, "The management doesn't want to throw him out because he is a very productive employee, but they want the HR team to make him socialize with all.". Is this the way an HR MANAGER communicates? It sounds like SLANG & JARGON. No wonder, management can do anything because at times management has NO SENSE in dealing with their employees, as most of the management's are SELFISH and they only understand the NUMBER GAME (PROFIT & LOSS).
I wonder why management wants to go against employees when employees don't go against management. Management has NO RIGHT to FORCE anyone to do something associated with PERSONAL LIFE.
Before posting your thread, did you ever try to study the psychology of that particular employee considering these study points:
1) HEREDITARY BEHAVIOUR
2) FRIEND'S CIRCLE
3) FAMILY ATMOSPHERE - CURRENT & THE WAY HE WAS BROUGHT UP SINCE CHILDHOOD
4) LIVING AREA/LOCALITY
5) HABITS
6) CHILDHOOD BEHAVIOUR (STRESS ON THIS POINT AND ASSOCIATE WITH VARIOUS FACTORS SUPPORTING HIS HOT-TEMPERED NATURE)
When you said he is productive, I am sure that he is cooperating with his TEAM MEMBERS. I don't think he is working INDEPENDENTLY, is he?
On my behalf, kindly ask your management:
1) "To what extent will your employees and organization benefit if that particular employee socializes with the rest?"
2) Did your management incur FINANCIAL LOSS due to his STRANGE BEHAVIOR?
Kindly get back to me at the earliest.
From India, Chennai
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I second Mr. Simhan and Mr. Dinesh.
I couldn't digest your sentence, "The management doesn't want to throw him out because he is a very productive employee, but they want the HR team to make him socialize with all.". Is this the way an HR MANAGER communicates? It sounds like SLANG & JARGON. No wonder, management can do anything because at times management has NO SENSE in dealing with their employees, as most of the management's are SELFISH and they only understand the NUMBER GAME (PROFIT & LOSS).
I wonder why management wants to go against employees when employees don't go against management. Management has NO RIGHT to FORCE anyone to do something associated with PERSONAL LIFE.
Before posting your thread, did you ever try to study the psychology of that particular employee considering these study points:
1) HEREDITARY BEHAVIOUR
2) FRIEND'S CIRCLE
3) FAMILY ATMOSPHERE - CURRENT & THE WAY HE WAS BROUGHT UP SINCE CHILDHOOD
4) LIVING AREA/LOCALITY
5) HABITS
6) CHILDHOOD BEHAVIOUR (STRESS ON THIS POINT AND ASSOCIATE WITH VARIOUS FACTORS SUPPORTING HIS HOT-TEMPERED NATURE)
When you said he is productive, I am sure that he is cooperating with his TEAM MEMBERS. I don't think he is working INDEPENDENTLY, is he?
On my behalf, kindly ask your management:
1) "To what extent will your employees and organization benefit if that particular employee socializes with the rest?"
2) Did your management incur FINANCIAL LOSS due to his STRANGE BEHAVIOR?
Kindly get back to me at the earliest.
From India, Chennai
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Dear all,
I am a practicing senior HR professional and HR trainer for two decades. Personality development of an individual is a journey where the destination is not easily identifiable given the complexities attached to both external and internal factors for a person. It is best to see his profile and build a relationship. I am sure the individual has been termed as productive in terms of the bottom line for the management. Nobody is blessed with perfect qualities. Like there is no perfect employer all the time. Therefore, the management and peer groups are a reflection of his personality.
By nature, there are some individuals who do not wish to be disturbed or simply do not like to mix with others, yet they enjoy and satisfy themselves with the best they can do at home or anywhere. You may call it introvert. Be it so. What is primary is the self-esteem as a person and the contribution one makes for others and for himself/herself. There are millions of us who are extrovert in all possible ways but do not contribute meaningfully and consistently to the organization, and for ourselves including to loved ones. Yet we enjoy and carry on with our routine lives. Are we all satisfied and happy at all times? By nature, we evolve and change with circumstances. Let the management of his company not take this gentleman as someone who is indifferent or keep a watch for his behavior.
All the very best and season's greetings.
V. Rangarajan.
From India, Pune
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I am a practicing senior HR professional and HR trainer for two decades. Personality development of an individual is a journey where the destination is not easily identifiable given the complexities attached to both external and internal factors for a person. It is best to see his profile and build a relationship. I am sure the individual has been termed as productive in terms of the bottom line for the management. Nobody is blessed with perfect qualities. Like there is no perfect employer all the time. Therefore, the management and peer groups are a reflection of his personality.
By nature, there are some individuals who do not wish to be disturbed or simply do not like to mix with others, yet they enjoy and satisfy themselves with the best they can do at home or anywhere. You may call it introvert. Be it so. What is primary is the self-esteem as a person and the contribution one makes for others and for himself/herself. There are millions of us who are extrovert in all possible ways but do not contribute meaningfully and consistently to the organization, and for ourselves including to loved ones. Yet we enjoy and carry on with our routine lives. Are we all satisfied and happy at all times? By nature, we evolve and change with circumstances. Let the management of his company not take this gentleman as someone who is indifferent or keep a watch for his behavior.
All the very best and season's greetings.
V. Rangarajan.
From India, Pune
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Hello friends,
I feel that the employee we are here discussing has a chronic emotional tone/shade of ANGER. First of all, what I believe is that it is the fault of the recruitment department who employed such a person who is not fit for their organization.
Handling a chronic Anger personality is to deal with him with BOREDOM, which means don't react to anger with anger or don't create disputes. Try to sort out the things, events, or topics he is interested in, and definitely everybody has such topics. After discovering those things, start communication over those topics and try to develop rapport, which will create an emotional link with him. After strengthening that emotional link, which will take some time, a change process can be implemented.
Habib Ullah Khan
PTCL Pakistan
From Pakistan, Islamabad
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I feel that the employee we are here discussing has a chronic emotional tone/shade of ANGER. First of all, what I believe is that it is the fault of the recruitment department who employed such a person who is not fit for their organization.
Handling a chronic Anger personality is to deal with him with BOREDOM, which means don't react to anger with anger or don't create disputes. Try to sort out the things, events, or topics he is interested in, and definitely everybody has such topics. After discovering those things, start communication over those topics and try to develop rapport, which will create an emotional link with him. After strengthening that emotional link, which will take some time, a change process can be implemented.
Habib Ullah Khan
PTCL Pakistan
From Pakistan, Islamabad
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