Hi,
I have a query. I hope you seniors can help me sort it out very easily. I am working with a reputed school. One of my colleagues is in academics. She slapped a child for their mistake, and the parents posted this on our school's Facebook page. After she submitted an apology letter, the school terminated her without any discussion. Now, she is very confused about what she can do in such a case. Can anyone please help?
From India, Gurgaon
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I have a query. I hope you seniors can help me sort it out very easily. I am working with a reputed school. One of my colleagues is in academics. She slapped a child for their mistake, and the parents posted this on our school's Facebook page. After she submitted an apology letter, the school terminated her without any discussion. Now, she is very confused about what she can do in such a case. Can anyone please help?
From India, Gurgaon
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Hi,
It's a mutual win-win situation unless the exact facts are known; no one can sort the issue. Beating children nowadays is a serious concern, but in our childhood, it was common; it's an individual perception.
Chills,
Karthik
From India, Vijayawada
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80It's a mutual win-win situation unless the exact facts are known; no one can sort the issue. Beating children nowadays is a serious concern, but in our childhood, it was common; it's an individual perception.
Chills,
Karthik
From India, Vijayawada
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I remember being very badly beaten by many of our school teachers, with a cane on hand, both sides, sit-ups, slapping, and whatnot. But these things were necessary to maintain discipline, and that is how we were molded into what we are today.
Today's kids are just YOLO SWAG people, who are a useless bunch. And their parents think their kids are the best. God save the world.
From India, Madras
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Today's kids are just YOLO SWAG people, who are a useless bunch. And their parents think their kids are the best. God save the world.
From India, Madras
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I would like to know whether the incident was unfortunate or fortunate one. Instead of slapping, she could have done something else. We need to have extreme control over our actions and behavior, else we will land in trouble. There is nothing to worry about, and she can proceed further with high confidence levels rather than letting herself down.
With profound regards
From India, Chennai
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With profound regards
From India, Chennai
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The answer actually depends on a case-to-case basis:
The most important question is why there was a need to slap a child. Were all other warning situations exhausted? Were the parents and/or headmaster of the school informed (if it was a repeated action)?
If slapping had served its purpose, there wouldn't have been a need for any other punishment or system to steer a child back on the right path.
The physical assault on children these days is amplified largely due to a few incidents where teachers were found guilty of assaulting children for minor issues that could have been resolved through communication, reprimanding, providing feedback, or involving parents. Several cases have been reported where such assaults have left not only physical but also emotional scars on children, causing significant harm and even leading to fatalities.
I agree with the notion that during our school days, punishment was used to instill discipline. Parents should acknowledge that discipline is essential and that punishment, within reasonable limits and with respect, is needed to raise a child with good values and discipline.
Teachers should be vigilant about such cases and implement alternative disciplinary measures as suggested above.
Hope this helps. :)
From India, Mumbai
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The most important question is why there was a need to slap a child. Were all other warning situations exhausted? Were the parents and/or headmaster of the school informed (if it was a repeated action)?
If slapping had served its purpose, there wouldn't have been a need for any other punishment or system to steer a child back on the right path.
The physical assault on children these days is amplified largely due to a few incidents where teachers were found guilty of assaulting children for minor issues that could have been resolved through communication, reprimanding, providing feedback, or involving parents. Several cases have been reported where such assaults have left not only physical but also emotional scars on children, causing significant harm and even leading to fatalities.
I agree with the notion that during our school days, punishment was used to instill discipline. Parents should acknowledge that discipline is essential and that punishment, within reasonable limits and with respect, is needed to raise a child with good values and discipline.
Teachers should be vigilant about such cases and implement alternative disciplinary measures as suggested above.
Hope this helps. :)
From India, Mumbai
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Assault on children is a strict NO. Any physical punishment for children is, in a way, teaching children that physical violence is okay as a measure. Clearly, you can see how this can manifest into them growing up to be adults who are physically abusive towards their own children, on roads, or towards their partners.
Fortunately, in today's world, there is no space for physically abusive people, especially if the act is against a child. Even I received physical punishments while growing up, and I don't think it made me better in any way. If anything, it made me trust my mentors less, which, of course, reduced my ability to learn and grow as an individual.
I have a child, and even when I'm completely drained of all patience, I never hit him. Scolding, removing rewards for a day, and reminding him of the cause, not speaking to him - these usually jolt him back into line. But being a child, he often forgets and repeats the same behavior over and over. The key here is to be consistent - eventually, they'll get the idea.
Regards,
Sid
From India, Gurgaon
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Fortunately, in today's world, there is no space for physically abusive people, especially if the act is against a child. Even I received physical punishments while growing up, and I don't think it made me better in any way. If anything, it made me trust my mentors less, which, of course, reduced my ability to learn and grow as an individual.
I have a child, and even when I'm completely drained of all patience, I never hit him. Scolding, removing rewards for a day, and reminding him of the cause, not speaking to him - these usually jolt him back into line. But being a child, he often forgets and repeats the same behavior over and over. The key here is to be consistent - eventually, they'll get the idea.
Regards,
Sid
From India, Gurgaon
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@Sid:
Sure, what you say is validated.
I too am one amongst those who were never physically punished. Sure, I had been sincere enough, but neither my parents nor my teachers have had a chance to punish.
But when we talk in general, there are situations when, in order to bring discipline or to bring them on the right path, you ought to be a little strict and give them this message - "This will not be appreciated."
Hitting a child is no solution, is what I too believe in. But what would a parent/teacher do when something has really crossed limits -
to cite an example: A small boy about 8 years or younger was playing with other kids, (all boys) and out of some playful fights, he uttered all abuses and bad words, which was heard by his own mother. She just gave him one tight slap, asked the other boys to leave him alone, and didn't let him in. If an 8-year-old kid of yours abuses someone, and that too with foul language that is very stooped down, what would you as a parent do? Of course, explaining to them is a solution, but remember some things require a reaction in an instant; otherwise, the explanation falls on deaf ears. Sometimes you need to make the child feel sorry for their behavior (I don't say by hitting or slapping but by some means) otherwise, they'd feel it's okay to behave this way and no one would bother to correct them; at the most, they would give one lecture of do's and don'ts.
(Completely my viewpoint, don't intend to hurt you or question you. Of course, I believe in following your footsteps of using other means than slapping... and though I'm still single, I don't like this approach as well, but I feel at times it becomes inevitable.)
From India, Mumbai
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Sure, what you say is validated.
I too am one amongst those who were never physically punished. Sure, I had been sincere enough, but neither my parents nor my teachers have had a chance to punish.
But when we talk in general, there are situations when, in order to bring discipline or to bring them on the right path, you ought to be a little strict and give them this message - "This will not be appreciated."
Hitting a child is no solution, is what I too believe in. But what would a parent/teacher do when something has really crossed limits -
to cite an example: A small boy about 8 years or younger was playing with other kids, (all boys) and out of some playful fights, he uttered all abuses and bad words, which was heard by his own mother. She just gave him one tight slap, asked the other boys to leave him alone, and didn't let him in. If an 8-year-old kid of yours abuses someone, and that too with foul language that is very stooped down, what would you as a parent do? Of course, explaining to them is a solution, but remember some things require a reaction in an instant; otherwise, the explanation falls on deaf ears. Sometimes you need to make the child feel sorry for their behavior (I don't say by hitting or slapping but by some means) otherwise, they'd feel it's okay to behave this way and no one would bother to correct them; at the most, they would give one lecture of do's and don'ts.
(Completely my viewpoint, don't intend to hurt you or question you. Of course, I believe in following your footsteps of using other means than slapping... and though I'm still single, I don't like this approach as well, but I feel at times it becomes inevitable.)
From India, Mumbai
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Please, I love open discussions like these. The case you described probably has some history behind it - the use of foul language comes from the company or exposure to media which shows such behavior as something "cool" or something that gets others afraid. Please remember every child is insecure and dependent - they will always look for ways that can secure their stand (in anything). When a child sees a parent behaving badly or on any media they tend to soak such behaviors - it becomes a part of them. So it's important to understand that the reason why the child used foul language was not because he "is" or "is becoming" a bad person - it's the result of some unintended exposure.
When that child was hit - sure he got the point that using foul language is bad - but he probably also learned that using foul language in front of parents is not a good idea - but it does get the other children afraid, so let's use it when no elder is around. Do you see the point? How the child is now a bit further away from his mentor.
Hitting will get you nowhere - what you need to stop and see are the causes of such behavior and control the environment as much as possible. Try and block exposure to violent TV channels not intended for children. Avoid speaking harshly with your partner when the child is around - or explain to him that you are having an important discussion and that shouting was unintended and just happened because everyone got excited.
I'll give you one example - the children in my son's school hit each other - this is a common thing and is almost like a game. My son is not afraid of this and often tells me about how he is going to hit this person or that person. I keep asking him why he would want to hit, if getting hit doesn't feel good. The reason why he wants to hit is NOT because he likes hitting but because he feels insecure that someone will hit him first - so I am now trying to teach him how he can defend his sensitive body parts from assault. This is an ongoing process but it's important to make the child realize that hitting is not a nice thing.
This is a game you play with your mind - not with brawn. The child needs security and he can get the deepest security if he trusts his parents, his mentors.
Regards,
Sid
From India, Gurgaon
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When that child was hit - sure he got the point that using foul language is bad - but he probably also learned that using foul language in front of parents is not a good idea - but it does get the other children afraid, so let's use it when no elder is around. Do you see the point? How the child is now a bit further away from his mentor.
Hitting will get you nowhere - what you need to stop and see are the causes of such behavior and control the environment as much as possible. Try and block exposure to violent TV channels not intended for children. Avoid speaking harshly with your partner when the child is around - or explain to him that you are having an important discussion and that shouting was unintended and just happened because everyone got excited.
I'll give you one example - the children in my son's school hit each other - this is a common thing and is almost like a game. My son is not afraid of this and often tells me about how he is going to hit this person or that person. I keep asking him why he would want to hit, if getting hit doesn't feel good. The reason why he wants to hit is NOT because he likes hitting but because he feels insecure that someone will hit him first - so I am now trying to teach him how he can defend his sensitive body parts from assault. This is an ongoing process but it's important to make the child realize that hitting is not a nice thing.
This is a game you play with your mind - not with brawn. The child needs security and he can get the deepest security if he trusts his parents, his mentors.
Regards,
Sid
From India, Gurgaon
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Dear all,
I have read the open discussions with interest. However, I feel that we have deviated from the query. The query is about what the sacked teacher can do now, not the rights and wrongs of hitting a child. I am sure the teacher who hit has felt sorry for hitting the child. However, the repentance is a bit too late.
CHR's advice to his son reminds me of the advice given by Polonius to his son Laertes in Shakespeare's play Hamlet: "Beware of entrance to a quarrel; but, being in, bear't that the opposed may beware of thee."
From United Kingdom
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I have read the open discussions with interest. However, I feel that we have deviated from the query. The query is about what the sacked teacher can do now, not the rights and wrongs of hitting a child. I am sure the teacher who hit has felt sorry for hitting the child. However, the repentance is a bit too late.
CHR's advice to his son reminds me of the advice given by Polonius to his son Laertes in Shakespeare's play Hamlet: "Beware of entrance to a quarrel; but, being in, bear't that the opposed may beware of thee."
From United Kingdom
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Beautiful line, Simhan. :)
As for the teacher's fate - it seems that only schools that don't care much about background and reference checks will be an employment option. But such things often come to the surface. One safeguard could be to write an apology letter, explaining the situation and getting a copy signed from the parents (apology accepted) just for future reference. Otherwise, a change in career is probably in order.
Regards,
Sid
From India, Gurgaon
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As for the teacher's fate - it seems that only schools that don't care much about background and reference checks will be an employment option. But such things often come to the surface. One safeguard could be to write an apology letter, explaining the situation and getting a copy signed from the parents (apology accepted) just for future reference. Otherwise, a change in career is probably in order.
Regards,
Sid
From India, Gurgaon
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