This amounts to sexual harassment. Such incidents are unfortunate and yet not uncommon in the corporate world. Power and position do allow such perverse notions to surface, and seniors tend to manipulate events and situations to take control over unsuspecting juniors.
Some give in and become unwilling victims, but for some (like the lady in this situation), it is repulsive. I think the best option in such circumstances is to ignore any casual off-the-cuff remarks made by the boss, be firm when the boss makes overt advances. However, she has to be extra careful with her work since any deficiencies in her work can be used to put further pressure. She may also choose to confide in someone she can trust in the office.
This is stressful, but I am sure the GM-HR shall realize that the lady is unavailable once he is cold-shouldered. If not, then pray that this recession takes its toll on him or he perishes in some natural calamity. And finally, if nothing works, be prepared to fight and lose the job. Because jobs once lost may still be available in the open market, but one's character and self-belief once lost will be almost impossible to find.
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Some give in and become unwilling victims, but for some (like the lady in this situation), it is repulsive. I think the best option in such circumstances is to ignore any casual off-the-cuff remarks made by the boss, be firm when the boss makes overt advances. However, she has to be extra careful with her work since any deficiencies in her work can be used to put further pressure. She may also choose to confide in someone she can trust in the office.
This is stressful, but I am sure the GM-HR shall realize that the lady is unavailable once he is cold-shouldered. If not, then pray that this recession takes its toll on him or he perishes in some natural calamity. And finally, if nothing works, be prepared to fight and lose the job. Because jobs once lost may still be available in the open market, but one's character and self-belief once lost will be almost impossible to find.
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This is one more misconception..........
No one can help her she has to help herself..........to become upright in her approach to boss and to this forum by not posting faltu Mischievous postings......and wasting time for sympathising with her unnecessarily because we do not have access to her Boss to speak him on this subject.
so remember you cannot help her nor anybody else...........
She must give contact number of her boss we citehr members will send our envoy to him to express our sentiments.........:-D
We should misinterprete this as sexual harrashment.....
There are some myths of harrashments, Seems like managers would have gotten the message about sexual harassment, but many are still confused. Here are the facts about some of the most prevalent myths:
Myth--Harassment must be by someone employed by the company.
Fact--Clients or customers of an employer can also commit sexual harassment against your employees. For example, a restaurant customer can commit an act or repeated acts of sexual harassment against an employer’s waitress.
Myth--Sexual harassment is about men harassing women.
Fact--Although acts of sexual harassment must be grounded in discrimination that is based on sex, the sex of the offender and victim is not controlling. Therefore, females can commit sexual harassment against males, males can commit sexual harassment against other males, and females can commit sexual harassment against other females.
Myth--Harassment can only be charged by the person harassed, not by witnesses.
Fact--Some courts have held that bystanders, or mere witnesses to unlawful acts of sexual harassment, may also be victims. As a result, an employee who bears witness to sexual harassment that is directed toward another employee may also find protection under the law.
Myth--If the harasser didn't intend to offend, there's no harassment.
Fact--Intent doesn't matter. It's the reaction of the person who is harassed that counts. "I was just kidding" won't hold up in court.
Captain Cook
From Saudi Arabia, Riyadh
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3No one can help her she has to help herself..........to become upright in her approach to boss and to this forum by not posting faltu Mischievous postings......and wasting time for sympathising with her unnecessarily because we do not have access to her Boss to speak him on this subject.
so remember you cannot help her nor anybody else...........
She must give contact number of her boss we citehr members will send our envoy to him to express our sentiments.........:-D
We should misinterprete this as sexual harrashment.....
There are some myths of harrashments, Seems like managers would have gotten the message about sexual harassment, but many are still confused. Here are the facts about some of the most prevalent myths:
Myth--Harassment must be by someone employed by the company.
Fact--Clients or customers of an employer can also commit sexual harassment against your employees. For example, a restaurant customer can commit an act or repeated acts of sexual harassment against an employer’s waitress.
Myth--Sexual harassment is about men harassing women.
Fact--Although acts of sexual harassment must be grounded in discrimination that is based on sex, the sex of the offender and victim is not controlling. Therefore, females can commit sexual harassment against males, males can commit sexual harassment against other males, and females can commit sexual harassment against other females.
Myth--Harassment can only be charged by the person harassed, not by witnesses.
Fact--Some courts have held that bystanders, or mere witnesses to unlawful acts of sexual harassment, may also be victims. As a result, an employee who bears witness to sexual harassment that is directed toward another employee may also find protection under the law.
Myth--If the harasser didn't intend to offend, there's no harassment.
Fact--Intent doesn't matter. It's the reaction of the person who is harassed that counts. "I was just kidding" won't hold up in court.
Captain Cook
From Saudi Arabia, Riyadh
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You are right - it is the wrong time to look for a job. It would be near impossible to pin him down on a charge of sexual harassment. Without witnesses, the nearest option for the victim would have been if she started sobbing on hearing the proposal from her boss and related the incident to her office colleagues or her close ones. I am convinced she did none of these - hence the appeal for help. The organization will no doubt listen to the boss and dismiss your allegations as it is much easier than to haul up a senior member who will deny her story. The way he has broached the subject indicates he was on a "fishing expedition" trying his luck. If she had fallen for it, he strikes "gold" - if it fails, he has nothing to lose. He may have his own version too.
Advise your friend to be careful in her dealings with the dirty old man. He may be having problems at home or denied the means to satisfy his urges and is trying his luck by using his "persuasive" station in life. Whatever it is, he will try again, and your friend needs to be prepared. She should ensure she is not caught in his cabin and should deny his invitations to go out alone. She should relate any incidents bordering on harassment to her colleagues and follow the office guidelines on dealing with harassment.
Regards,
Ganapathy Ramasamy
From Malaysia, Melaka
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Advise your friend to be careful in her dealings with the dirty old man. He may be having problems at home or denied the means to satisfy his urges and is trying his luck by using his "persuasive" station in life. Whatever it is, he will try again, and your friend needs to be prepared. She should ensure she is not caught in his cabin and should deny his invitations to go out alone. She should relate any incidents bordering on harassment to her colleagues and follow the office guidelines on dealing with harassment.
Regards,
Ganapathy Ramasamy
From Malaysia, Melaka
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Hey all,
I read each and every comment on this post.
First of all, my reaction to those who said it was a waste or useless post is quite different.
I agree that being an HR Officer, she is mature enough to make decisions. However, not everyone is the same or thinks alike, or has the same maturity level that others have already attained through their experiences or exposure to such things earlier.
Maybe it's her first job, and she is not able to think in that way and is not mentally strong enough to make decisions as she is still in a learning stage. Please note that I am not particularly talking about only the girl who posted it; I am talking about every woman working in this corporate world.
Also, some have talked about the psychology of a woman. To those, I would say in loud words that if they understand so much about a woman's psychology or sixth sense, they must at least understand that a woman generally needs confirmation from others when making decisions in her life. It can be while choosing a dress, a mobile phone, or even filling out a form to apply for a job.
And please don't misunderstand that I am saying a woman is generally mentally weak and can't make decisions alone. The point is that our society and the way girls are brought up make them seek confirmation from someone. That person can be her father, brother, husband, or just a friend, or even people from the CiteHR forum. A woman can discuss or seek advice about anything from anyone if she feels comfortable doing so. So there is no point in overreacting about her sharing this particular experience with all of us.
Anyways, if we are already aware of this and don't want to waste time on such issues, then we should ignore it. But maybe this discussion is being read by other girls/boys.
Believe me, there are still people who have no clue about such issues, and we can't say they are ignorant, but it's just that they haven't had as much exposure as they should have. I would quote "better late than never" for those who are not aware of such issues and can gain guidance from these posts to become mentally stronger to deal with such happenings.
Maybe she just wanted confirmation from others about her decision (that she must have thought) or just wanted others' opinions to take the best possible step.
I am quite happy to see a number of posts in this discussion with totally different opinions and suggestions.
I have nothing different to suggest to AKS about it, as all generous people have already analyzed it from every angle.
One thing I would like to say is that several movies like "Life in a Metro," "Corporate," "Fashion" (the latest one) have already covered such issues. So consider the situation from every aspect and make your best decision.
All the best!
Cheers 😊
Always wishing good for you,
Silky Bhardwaj
From India, Chandigarh
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I read each and every comment on this post.
First of all, my reaction to those who said it was a waste or useless post is quite different.
I agree that being an HR Officer, she is mature enough to make decisions. However, not everyone is the same or thinks alike, or has the same maturity level that others have already attained through their experiences or exposure to such things earlier.
Maybe it's her first job, and she is not able to think in that way and is not mentally strong enough to make decisions as she is still in a learning stage. Please note that I am not particularly talking about only the girl who posted it; I am talking about every woman working in this corporate world.
Also, some have talked about the psychology of a woman. To those, I would say in loud words that if they understand so much about a woman's psychology or sixth sense, they must at least understand that a woman generally needs confirmation from others when making decisions in her life. It can be while choosing a dress, a mobile phone, or even filling out a form to apply for a job.
And please don't misunderstand that I am saying a woman is generally mentally weak and can't make decisions alone. The point is that our society and the way girls are brought up make them seek confirmation from someone. That person can be her father, brother, husband, or just a friend, or even people from the CiteHR forum. A woman can discuss or seek advice about anything from anyone if she feels comfortable doing so. So there is no point in overreacting about her sharing this particular experience with all of us.
Anyways, if we are already aware of this and don't want to waste time on such issues, then we should ignore it. But maybe this discussion is being read by other girls/boys.
Believe me, there are still people who have no clue about such issues, and we can't say they are ignorant, but it's just that they haven't had as much exposure as they should have. I would quote "better late than never" for those who are not aware of such issues and can gain guidance from these posts to become mentally stronger to deal with such happenings.
Maybe she just wanted confirmation from others about her decision (that she must have thought) or just wanted others' opinions to take the best possible step.
I am quite happy to see a number of posts in this discussion with totally different opinions and suggestions.
I have nothing different to suggest to AKS about it, as all generous people have already analyzed it from every angle.
One thing I would like to say is that several movies like "Life in a Metro," "Corporate," "Fashion" (the latest one) have already covered such issues. So consider the situation from every aspect and make your best decision.
All the best!
Cheers 😊
Always wishing good for you,
Silky Bhardwaj
From India, Chandigarh
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Dear all,
Remember, one thing: no one can disturb you without your permission. If you are feeling low, it is because of you. Don't feel dull. Collect your courage and look at the situation from a different perspective. If you cannot change the reality, then change the way you see reality. I have faith in you; only you have the best solution to this problem. There is no need to be afraid of losing your job. Live with dignity.
Best of luck.
From India, Delhi
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Remember, one thing: no one can disturb you without your permission. If you are feeling low, it is because of you. Don't feel dull. Collect your courage and look at the situation from a different perspective. If you cannot change the reality, then change the way you see reality. I have faith in you; only you have the best solution to this problem. There is no need to be afraid of losing your job. Live with dignity.
Best of luck.
From India, Delhi
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Hi AKS,
1. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
2. There is no smoke without fire.
3. Clapping requires both hands.
4. That's all natural phenomena.
Pondering the above well-known sayings, introspect yourself; you might find the answer.
From India, Mumbai
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1. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
2. There is no smoke without fire.
3. Clapping requires both hands.
4. That's all natural phenomena.
Pondering the above well-known sayings, introspect yourself; you might find the answer.
From India, Mumbai
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Hey guys,
I believe the situation which was uploaded is fictitious. If I am correct, the GM_HR would have asked for her opinion before saying anything. Being in that position and having worked for so many years in HR, he must be aware of the pros and cons of the problem.
If he has indeed made a proposal, then the HR Officer has every right to respond in that manner. She can either complain or refuse the proposal outright. The main issue lies in how much strength the HR Officer has to say NO.
Regards,
Prasanna
From India, Bangalore
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I believe the situation which was uploaded is fictitious. If I am correct, the GM_HR would have asked for her opinion before saying anything. Being in that position and having worked for so many years in HR, he must be aware of the pros and cons of the problem.
If he has indeed made a proposal, then the HR Officer has every right to respond in that manner. She can either complain or refuse the proposal outright. The main issue lies in how much strength the HR Officer has to say NO.
Regards,
Prasanna
From India, Bangalore
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Hello AKS,
Be very professional and don't carry this burden for long. Just forget it and be careful in your approach. He should feel sorry and guilty about himself by seeing you and your boldness. He should feel that you are not that type of girl he was expecting. Don't give too much importance to this issue and don't tell this incident to your colleagues. Tell one person who is a very good friend of yours and may be trusted, because in the future, it will help if some other incident occurs. One small tip for you in your future professional life: Whenever you meet a new person who may be either your boss, colleague, or junior, don't get very close and go into unwanted discussions that are not related to your job until you know them very well. You cannot read anybody's mind and their intentions, so why take a chance? Precaution is better than cure. Good luck and never think of leaving this job because this type of incidents will always be there in your professional life. Take this as a challenge. Best of luck. :) :)
Regards,
Suresh G Nair
From India, Kochi
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Be very professional and don't carry this burden for long. Just forget it and be careful in your approach. He should feel sorry and guilty about himself by seeing you and your boldness. He should feel that you are not that type of girl he was expecting. Don't give too much importance to this issue and don't tell this incident to your colleagues. Tell one person who is a very good friend of yours and may be trusted, because in the future, it will help if some other incident occurs. One small tip for you in your future professional life: Whenever you meet a new person who may be either your boss, colleague, or junior, don't get very close and go into unwanted discussions that are not related to your job until you know them very well. You cannot read anybody's mind and their intentions, so why take a chance? Precaution is better than cure. Good luck and never think of leaving this job because this type of incidents will always be there in your professional life. Take this as a challenge. Best of luck. :) :)
Regards,
Suresh G Nair
From India, Kochi
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Don't you think this is conservative thinking of "Shri Ram Sena" ideologies? If you are a professional, be professional, but your personal matters such as dating and proposals for marriages are not official subjects. You cannot discuss here.
From Saudi Arabia
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From Saudi Arabia
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Dear AKS,
I feel very ashamed because of such an HR person spoiling our HR community. How is this happening? As advised by many professionals, please confront face-to-face in front of other colleagues. Don't discuss this with other colleagues; it will spread throughout the company, and your name may get tarnished.
Also, reach your harassment escalation path confidentially. I feel some evidence is required for that when approaching the harassment cell, given that nonsense is sitting in a senior position in the company.
Alternatively, provide us with the mobile number of the nonsense GM (HR); the group members will teach him a lesson.
Don't worry... Relax...
Regards, Sekar Devaraj
From United States, Morristown
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I feel very ashamed because of such an HR person spoiling our HR community. How is this happening? As advised by many professionals, please confront face-to-face in front of other colleagues. Don't discuss this with other colleagues; it will spread throughout the company, and your name may get tarnished.
Also, reach your harassment escalation path confidentially. I feel some evidence is required for that when approaching the harassment cell, given that nonsense is sitting in a senior position in the company.
Alternatively, provide us with the mobile number of the nonsense GM (HR); the group members will teach him a lesson.
Don't worry... Relax...
Regards, Sekar Devaraj
From United States, Morristown
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