Dear Friend , we all have gone through such experiences some time or other. I would like to share with you the strategies i have adopted.
* You need to analyse weather is there anything which probabaly is lacking in you, may be you are not able to complete the work within given time frame, may be you have not done the job in a propoer manner and there was scope to d it better. Once you realise that there are some areas where you need to do better concentrate on that and try to improve.
* During criticism it is better to avoaid prolong argument. some times if criticism is made in front of others need not to feel bad. cool yourself in your office, reason out, and than if required go back to your boss , when he is alone, to discuss out the difference in perception if any. Replying back to him or reasoning out with him in other presecnce will further deteriorate the environment.
* lastly if your good in job and you are enjoying your work. let me repeat- If you are enjoying your work these things will die down gradually when your boss shall realise your importance.
ultimate mantra is focus yourself on gains if any from crticism and leave the rest. tell me how many people would have remebered that once in your ocllege days so and so lecturer had criticised you. No one remebers. Life moves on do not keep things in your mind.
From India, Delhi
2* You need to analyse weather is there anything which probabaly is lacking in you, may be you are not able to complete the work within given time frame, may be you have not done the job in a propoer manner and there was scope to d it better. Once you realise that there are some areas where you need to do better concentrate on that and try to improve.
* During criticism it is better to avoaid prolong argument. some times if criticism is made in front of others need not to feel bad. cool yourself in your office, reason out, and than if required go back to your boss , when he is alone, to discuss out the difference in perception if any. Replying back to him or reasoning out with him in other presecnce will further deteriorate the environment.
* lastly if your good in job and you are enjoying your work. let me repeat- If you are enjoying your work these things will die down gradually when your boss shall realise your importance.
ultimate mantra is focus yourself on gains if any from crticism and leave the rest. tell me how many people would have remebered that once in your ocllege days so and so lecturer had criticised you. No one remebers. Life moves on do not keep things in your mind.
From India, Delhi
Hey Sarika, First let me tell you that you are not alone in this kind of experiences. Second, all the suggestions you got from your friends may not work as I can see that the door for you to "discuss" with him may not be open as he has a bias on you the moment you contact.
Third, let me tell you a practical way: For this to apply, you must know that you are very good at your, what ever - you know it. His talk will not change your better performance. Having known that be cool to ignore his criticism and prevent yourself with a determination from hurt. However, his criticism is very important if you take it in an objective way. Look at it in an objective way. Know the words and put them in your vocab and equip yourself with those words while you deal with him. Since you know he thinks you have made a mistake, there is no point is getting into an argument with that.
Just say "Oh my! I did it again! boss what do you think we can do now?" Keep the focus on this quaetion to extract a practical answer from him. If he points to many a general comment. Do not be pissed off. Insist on an answer from him on what can be done. This will open his mind to learn that you are genuinely concerned to improve, that the ball is in his court to tell you the right thing - makes him responsible for his words, puts him in a fix to provide solution so he has to be careful in criticising you easily next time.
Keep your facial expression dignified, not showing hurt, anger or disgust. Speak deliberately, slowly. Do not appear to be very keen to please him, even though you are. Keep your cool and God willing, you will WIN. Win him and his heart. Take care to stay confident come what may.
Let us see if it works. If it does, this is only the first step to command his respect which you can keep in your emotional bank account. CHEERS and Best wishes. Salah
Third, let me tell you a practical way: For this to apply, you must know that you are very good at your, what ever - you know it. His talk will not change your better performance. Having known that be cool to ignore his criticism and prevent yourself with a determination from hurt. However, his criticism is very important if you take it in an objective way. Look at it in an objective way. Know the words and put them in your vocab and equip yourself with those words while you deal with him. Since you know he thinks you have made a mistake, there is no point is getting into an argument with that.
Just say "Oh my! I did it again! boss what do you think we can do now?" Keep the focus on this quaetion to extract a practical answer from him. If he points to many a general comment. Do not be pissed off. Insist on an answer from him on what can be done. This will open his mind to learn that you are genuinely concerned to improve, that the ball is in his court to tell you the right thing - makes him responsible for his words, puts him in a fix to provide solution so he has to be careful in criticising you easily next time.
Keep your facial expression dignified, not showing hurt, anger or disgust. Speak deliberately, slowly. Do not appear to be very keen to please him, even though you are. Keep your cool and God willing, you will WIN. Win him and his heart. Take care to stay confident come what may.
Let us see if it works. If it does, this is only the first step to command his respect which you can keep in your emotional bank account. CHEERS and Best wishes. Salah
Hello Sarika,
Here are a few tips to make your worries disappear:
1. Make an introspection - re you trying to do too much and please your superior?
2. Be yourself always - Learn to accept the ups and downs in performance
3. Do not confront or get confronted - act according to the situation
Zig Ziglar, an internationally known motivational speaker, has said "When we have positive input, we have positive output, and when we have negative input, we have negative output."
A positive mental attitude coupled with good analytical mental approach to workplace happenings would take you up in the organization.
P.S.: Develop a positive mental attitude to love what you do every day rather than looking for the things you love to possess!
Good luck to you,
From India, Madras
Here are a few tips to make your worries disappear:
1. Make an introspection - re you trying to do too much and please your superior?
2. Be yourself always - Learn to accept the ups and downs in performance
3. Do not confront or get confronted - act according to the situation
Zig Ziglar, an internationally known motivational speaker, has said "When we have positive input, we have positive output, and when we have negative input, we have negative output."
A positive mental attitude coupled with good analytical mental approach to workplace happenings would take you up in the organization.
P.S.: Develop a positive mental attitude to love what you do every day rather than looking for the things you love to possess!
Good luck to you,
From India, Madras
Dear Sarika,
I read your problem in depth. My analysis and method to deal... a problem or a comment of your boss... remember, you view as per your lens view which is formed by your past experiences of your life and the way your boss comments [reacts] is also based on his vision. Hence, I request you not to get disturbed and further add to it by yourself [compelling future]... instead... be authentic and take his time and discuss with him with eye to eye contact to clarify. Be bold for this action and also prepare yourself in all aspects to authenticate that you have contributed as per the requirements of your Role Occupancy - Tangible & Subjectively.
Please mail me [vbvelury@yahoo.com] after taking action as suggested above.
[Past experiences of your life affecting the present state of being - a) I know that I know b) I know that I don't Know and c) I don't know that I don't know]
Regards,
Vijay Bhasker V.
0/9845186290
From India, Bangalore
I read your problem in depth. My analysis and method to deal... a problem or a comment of your boss... remember, you view as per your lens view which is formed by your past experiences of your life and the way your boss comments [reacts] is also based on his vision. Hence, I request you not to get disturbed and further add to it by yourself [compelling future]... instead... be authentic and take his time and discuss with him with eye to eye contact to clarify. Be bold for this action and also prepare yourself in all aspects to authenticate that you have contributed as per the requirements of your Role Occupancy - Tangible & Subjectively.
Please mail me [vbvelury@yahoo.com] after taking action as suggested above.
[Past experiences of your life affecting the present state of being - a) I know that I know b) I know that I don't Know and c) I don't know that I don't know]
Regards,
Vijay Bhasker V.
0/9845186290
From India, Bangalore
After getting your point of view, it appears that your Boss is prejudiced for you or he may be an irrational person. Best thing to do here is to find outwhat things he might have not liked about you in the past - 1 most important factor to consider is simple human psychology - being an excellent resource has sometimes a negative effect on your growth as well because it raises the Boss' expectations and secondly, there can be situations where you outshine your boss - be it demonstrated by your work or by feedback from others.
After you have rationallly evaluated the causes keeping the above in mind, try to justify the situation.
Nevertheless, an employee has a right to dignity at work irrespective of his/her performance (unless it is negative behaviour for the company) - and at the next instance of his public remarks, make sure you make him understand that this is not army but a corporate world where people are not bound to respect you by the cadre but by the respect you earn for yourself.
After you have rationallly evaluated the causes keeping the above in mind, try to justify the situation.
Nevertheless, an employee has a right to dignity at work irrespective of his/her performance (unless it is negative behaviour for the company) - and at the next instance of his public remarks, make sure you make him understand that this is not army but a corporate world where people are not bound to respect you by the cadre but by the respect you earn for yourself.
I would like to advise you to look for a new assignment. When your boss under which you are working does not understand the weightage of your work you should quit the job. As I feel the frustration level increases in such situations.
Ravi
From India, New Delhi
Ravi
From India, New Delhi
Thank you all for your valuable comments. They will really help me.
I had a word with my boss, during my current performance appraisal, and he told me that he has nothing personal against me. He said that i am quite slow in my work, and need constant follow up to get a task completed.
He said though i am a good team member. He said that he loses temper because he himself doesnt have much time, and is pressed by his job demands and his targets that he needs to achieve.
He told that he needs people who can support him and can run faster than him in getting a task done.
He clearly told that he expects perfection, and is very particular about how and what is being done, it has to be smartness along with hardwork.
I agreed to what he said, but i also told that i get demotivated by the following things :
1) His being critical about me in front of others
2) I have to work for many people at one time - people try to be bossy
3) Not able to prioritise work, need to identify what is important
4) Can satisfy everbody
5) Not able to manage vendor management properly
My work includes :
1) Booking tickets
2) Visas
3) Leave Records
4) Employee File Database Management
5) Vendor Management - Purchases / Repair of Office Equipment
6) Maintain Fixed Assets Register
7) General Housekeeping
8) Stationery Management
Please advise, how do i manage the above mentioned functions in an effective way.
Regards,
Sarika
From India, Gurgaon
I had a word with my boss, during my current performance appraisal, and he told me that he has nothing personal against me. He said that i am quite slow in my work, and need constant follow up to get a task completed.
He said though i am a good team member. He said that he loses temper because he himself doesnt have much time, and is pressed by his job demands and his targets that he needs to achieve.
He told that he needs people who can support him and can run faster than him in getting a task done.
He clearly told that he expects perfection, and is very particular about how and what is being done, it has to be smartness along with hardwork.
I agreed to what he said, but i also told that i get demotivated by the following things :
1) His being critical about me in front of others
2) I have to work for many people at one time - people try to be bossy
3) Not able to prioritise work, need to identify what is important
4) Can satisfy everbody
5) Not able to manage vendor management properly
My work includes :
1) Booking tickets
2) Visas
3) Leave Records
4) Employee File Database Management
5) Vendor Management - Purchases / Repair of Office Equipment
6) Maintain Fixed Assets Register
7) General Housekeeping
8) Stationery Management
Please advise, how do i manage the above mentioned functions in an effective way.
Regards,
Sarika
From India, Gurgaon
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