I feel that this a good experience for you to learn from this situation.
It is good if you can spend some quality time to understand your boss and his expectations about your work. That should start paving way to a better success. Also as he is an NRI, there will be a lot of cultural differences. I have seen some NRI who still feel a little less about India as they left the country a long time back with some hard memories.
All the best and let all of us know when some of these suggestions work for you.
Rgds,
AKNR
From India, Bangalore
1It is good if you can spend some quality time to understand your boss and his expectations about your work. That should start paving way to a better success. Also as he is an NRI, there will be a lot of cultural differences. I have seen some NRI who still feel a little less about India as they left the country a long time back with some hard memories.
All the best and let all of us know when some of these suggestions work for you.
Rgds,
AKNR
From India, Bangalore
Hi Shweta,
I understand how difficult it is to work for a rude and short tempered boss. However, there could be various reasons for him to behave like this. I would suggest first try and understand what irritates him and what alliviates his anger. Bosses are always good at finding mistakes and that's what they get paid for. However, those who express their views in polite and decent way are called as good bosses and viceversa. I would suggest you to go back and recall each an every situation when his behaviour was rude and harsh,there could be some ways to make him act softly on any of the issues. I came across a manager who believes in shouting at the first instance and then listen to others. We first found out what was the reason behind it which came out as a shock to us. He had a very tragic childhood where he was deprived of his parent's love and affection hence he never understood the language of love. According to me there are three ways for you to come out of this situation.
1. As explained above please try and understand your bosse's behaviour and act accordingly.
2. Express your concerns to him in polite and professional manner.
3. Prepare the data comprising evidences of his rude behaviour and let the higher management know how serious it could be for the employees stability.
Thanks & Regards,
Mehul
From India
I understand how difficult it is to work for a rude and short tempered boss. However, there could be various reasons for him to behave like this. I would suggest first try and understand what irritates him and what alliviates his anger. Bosses are always good at finding mistakes and that's what they get paid for. However, those who express their views in polite and decent way are called as good bosses and viceversa. I would suggest you to go back and recall each an every situation when his behaviour was rude and harsh,there could be some ways to make him act softly on any of the issues. I came across a manager who believes in shouting at the first instance and then listen to others. We first found out what was the reason behind it which came out as a shock to us. He had a very tragic childhood where he was deprived of his parent's love and affection hence he never understood the language of love. According to me there are three ways for you to come out of this situation.
1. As explained above please try and understand your bosse's behaviour and act accordingly.
2. Express your concerns to him in polite and professional manner.
3. Prepare the data comprising evidences of his rude behaviour and let the higher management know how serious it could be for the employees stability.
Thanks & Regards,
Mehul
From India
Hi Shweta,
I just had gone though your message!!! My suggestion for you as below.
First of all never every and love your boss or your company, I mean to say doesn’t show you are sympathy or emotion. Just love your job and profession. Because, where ever you go you need to do your good work and justification to your duty. Positive attitude and positive thinking is most importance for a HR person, rather then any thing.
Secondly, accordingly to your mail looks like you’re trying to avoid your boss that’s why you’re communicating though most of the time in mail or mailing. Try to understand what he required in work wise, keep on asking him regarding the jobs and let him update all the work what you do. Try for make a two way communication rather then one side. Make your mind set, as if that he likes your work and you. Because until unless you haven’t get this kind of feeling your self, your mind may not accept the things in positive way. Some time what happen even though your boss may say some good things you will take it as negative side, so first change your mind set. I am not denying that you boss is wrong here what he/she is doing at this point of time, but some time and some people like that, more or less Boss is always boss and his always correct. You can’t argue with your spurious. But some time you need to make them understand that what is his/her doing is wrong. I am sure things will not remain same for every.
Already I its too long reply for you, other wise I have one good example for your regarding the mindset.
Third thing regarding the change of job. Changing job is not the wise thing or judgment. Because when you change your job/company, you may get a good boss (better then him/her) or awful boss or may be the same with employee’s good or shocking employees. So its you have adjust and motive them, such way that people will give you respect and recognize you in the organization.
Thanks
Gopa
From India, Panipat
I just had gone though your message!!! My suggestion for you as below.
First of all never every and love your boss or your company, I mean to say doesn’t show you are sympathy or emotion. Just love your job and profession. Because, where ever you go you need to do your good work and justification to your duty. Positive attitude and positive thinking is most importance for a HR person, rather then any thing.
Secondly, accordingly to your mail looks like you’re trying to avoid your boss that’s why you’re communicating though most of the time in mail or mailing. Try to understand what he required in work wise, keep on asking him regarding the jobs and let him update all the work what you do. Try for make a two way communication rather then one side. Make your mind set, as if that he likes your work and you. Because until unless you haven’t get this kind of feeling your self, your mind may not accept the things in positive way. Some time what happen even though your boss may say some good things you will take it as negative side, so first change your mind set. I am not denying that you boss is wrong here what he/she is doing at this point of time, but some time and some people like that, more or less Boss is always boss and his always correct. You can’t argue with your spurious. But some time you need to make them understand that what is his/her doing is wrong. I am sure things will not remain same for every.
Already I its too long reply for you, other wise I have one good example for your regarding the mindset.
Third thing regarding the change of job. Changing job is not the wise thing or judgment. Because when you change your job/company, you may get a good boss (better then him/her) or awful boss or may be the same with employee’s good or shocking employees. So its you have adjust and motive them, such way that people will give you respect and recognize you in the organization.
Thanks
Gopa
From India, Panipat
Hi Shweta,
I just had gone though your message!!! My suggestion for you as below.
First of all never every and love your boss or your company, I mean to say doesn’t show you are sympathy or emotion. Just love your job and profession. Because, where ever you go you need to do your good work and justification to your duty. Positive attitude and positive thinking is most importance for a HR person, rather then any thing.
Secondly, accordingly to your mail looks like you’re trying to avoid your boss that’s why you’re communicating though most of the time in mail or mailing. Try to understand what he required in work wise, keep on asking him regarding the jobs and let him update all the work what you do. Try for make a two way communication rather then one side. Make your mind set, as if that he likes your work and you. Because until unless you haven’t get this kind of feeling your self, your mind may not accept the things in positive way. Some time what happen even though your boss may say some good things you will take it as negative side, so first change your mind set. I am not denying that you boss is wrong here what he/she is doing at this point of time, but some time and some people like that, more or less Boss is always boss and his always correct. You can’t argue with your spurious. But some time you need to make them understand that what is his/her doing is wrong. I am sure things will not remain same for every.
Already I its too long reply for you, other wise I have one good example for your regarding the mindset.
Third thing regarding the change of job. Changing job is not the wise thing or judgment. Because when you change your job/company, you may get a good boss (better then him/her) or awful boss or may be the same with employee’s good or shocking employees. So its you have adjust and motive them, such way that people will give you respect and recognize you in the organization.
Thanks
Gopa
From India, Panipat
I just had gone though your message!!! My suggestion for you as below.
First of all never every and love your boss or your company, I mean to say doesn’t show you are sympathy or emotion. Just love your job and profession. Because, where ever you go you need to do your good work and justification to your duty. Positive attitude and positive thinking is most importance for a HR person, rather then any thing.
Secondly, accordingly to your mail looks like you’re trying to avoid your boss that’s why you’re communicating though most of the time in mail or mailing. Try to understand what he required in work wise, keep on asking him regarding the jobs and let him update all the work what you do. Try for make a two way communication rather then one side. Make your mind set, as if that he likes your work and you. Because until unless you haven’t get this kind of feeling your self, your mind may not accept the things in positive way. Some time what happen even though your boss may say some good things you will take it as negative side, so first change your mind set. I am not denying that you boss is wrong here what he/she is doing at this point of time, but some time and some people like that, more or less Boss is always boss and his always correct. You can’t argue with your spurious. But some time you need to make them understand that what is his/her doing is wrong. I am sure things will not remain same for every.
Already I its too long reply for you, other wise I have one good example for your regarding the mindset.
Third thing regarding the change of job. Changing job is not the wise thing or judgment. Because when you change your job/company, you may get a good boss (better then him/her) or awful boss or may be the same with employee’s good or shocking employees. So its you have adjust and motive them, such way that people will give you respect and recognize you in the organization.
Thanks
Gopa
From India, Panipat
Dear Shwata,
Don't worry am also going through da same phase. Maybe my situation is even more worst than you because i have to tackle the senior management group. Everybody is putting there own views and nobody is really helping. I have taken it as a challenge and you should also do the same.
Escapists cannot be Winners:)
regards
Piali
From Oman, Muscat
Don't worry am also going through da same phase. Maybe my situation is even more worst than you because i have to tackle the senior management group. Everybody is putting there own views and nobody is really helping. I have taken it as a challenge and you should also do the same.
Escapists cannot be Winners:)
regards
Piali
From Oman, Muscat
Dear Shweta,
I am also facing same situation.
You do your work without any fear. Don't give him chance to find any mistake & error in your work.
But even after if he unncessarily shouts and then you protest him. and ask about your mistake, and if you feel he is right, tell him to show you the correct way.
Why I am telling you this , because if you start listen your boss on everything whether it's rigt or wrong, he /she will always try to insult you and find fault in you.
Because being a HR you should have ability to protesting. Otherwise you can't handle people, if you always listen others.
Thanks
rashmi
From India, Calcutta
I am also facing same situation.
You do your work without any fear. Don't give him chance to find any mistake & error in your work.
But even after if he unncessarily shouts and then you protest him. and ask about your mistake, and if you feel he is right, tell him to show you the correct way.
Why I am telling you this , because if you start listen your boss on everything whether it's rigt or wrong, he /she will always try to insult you and find fault in you.
Because being a HR you should have ability to protesting. Otherwise you can't handle people, if you always listen others.
Thanks
rashmi
From India, Calcutta
Hi,
It will really hlep the situation if you be around and keep communicating with the boss over email
After you have set a firm base in the department and know more about what is happening where please adress it to the right person. In this way you will not only helpo yourself but also help others fdrom the same misery
I had done the same but did it afterI resigned from the company; but now that I look back I dont see this helping the situation because my opinion was not taken serioulsy.
When you adress your greivance give evidence by examples and emails that you have which indiacte Bullying behaviour by ypour superior . If you have a Bullying redressal policy that will do the game for you
Hope this helps and remmeber everyone has gone through this situation atleast once or twice.. :) Lucky those who have not !!:)
Regards,
Vaishali
From India, Mumbai
It will really hlep the situation if you be around and keep communicating with the boss over email
After you have set a firm base in the department and know more about what is happening where please adress it to the right person. In this way you will not only helpo yourself but also help others fdrom the same misery
I had done the same but did it afterI resigned from the company; but now that I look back I dont see this helping the situation because my opinion was not taken serioulsy.
When you adress your greivance give evidence by examples and emails that you have which indiacte Bullying behaviour by ypour superior . If you have a Bullying redressal policy that will do the game for you
Hope this helps and remmeber everyone has gone through this situation atleast once or twice.. :) Lucky those who have not !!:)
Regards,
Vaishali
From India, Mumbai
Hey Shweta
I really appreciate your decision to stand your ground and fight your own battle. I'm very positive that not only would you one day gain the respect of this same boss, but you would also bring about a positive change in the thought process of your colleagues. This would be your greatest reward! And only you would know how sweet it tastes when you finally receive it.
Like most people said here, that quiting is the easiest, its persistence that makes you a winner, I would also like to draw your attention to one important aspect. There are some people with very strong negativities. If you do decide to face your boss, and you very EARNESTLY wish to help him (he has reasons for his behavior, and can be calmed to an extent), prepare yourself well. This could be a very difficult task. You would need to be careful that his negative attitude doesnot effect you, and that you do not take the office package into your domestic space. If you feel thats happening, and you cannot handle it, I would say, dont stretch it too far, he isnt your responsibility.
I too had a temperament. The things that I tried to tune myself down, I am sharing them with you. These have worked on me, and my colleagues/friends/relatives. Hope it helps you too.
- First of all, tell yourself "I choose to work with my boss and accept him as my boss."
- "No one can make me feel inferior, without my consent."
- I have faith in my mission. (to tune down my Boss!. :), at least a tad bit.)
- When someone is angry, refrain from advising/highlighting mistakes. Bring the topic up at a later time when things are cooler.
- Respond rather than React. (Take 5 deep breaths before replying to your bosses demands/questions.)
- I use a lot of sentences of agreement when handling adament/demanding people. ex. * "You are absolutely right, maybe we should do it your way and also do this along with it..." * Yes, I agree with what you say....
- I normally try to manipulate the response of such people to channelise only their positive energies.
- Most important, allow them to remain in their comfort zone, keep your antennae high up in the air and any sign that the situation may go out of hand, seal the topic there and get busy with something else.
- You may also want to try speaking with your bosses' boss asking his "HELP" to calm your boss down.
- Try appreciating the good things in him. (If you can, say them aloud.)
- Get him involved. Seek his help in case studies. (Especially if there's a situation where there is conflict, seek his opinion, tell him how you intend to handle the situation and ask if he agress with your method. {and if he doesnt, dont get disheartened, follow your heart in solving the situation} the idea here is to get his thought porcess started).
You would realise a lot more things that you can do, once you decide to stretch a helping hand to your boss.
You have taken up a noble cause. I applaud your effort :) . I would really really like to here about the progress. And if you feel frustrated and begin feeling "why the hell am I even tolerating this @#%$23!" share your feelings too. I am cool with listening to whatever you wish to share with me.
[IMG]https://www.citehr.com/misc.php?do=email_dev&email=bmF5YW5hLmNoYW5kZXJAZ2 1haWwuY29t[/IMG]
Cheers.
From India, Pune
I really appreciate your decision to stand your ground and fight your own battle. I'm very positive that not only would you one day gain the respect of this same boss, but you would also bring about a positive change in the thought process of your colleagues. This would be your greatest reward! And only you would know how sweet it tastes when you finally receive it.
Like most people said here, that quiting is the easiest, its persistence that makes you a winner, I would also like to draw your attention to one important aspect. There are some people with very strong negativities. If you do decide to face your boss, and you very EARNESTLY wish to help him (he has reasons for his behavior, and can be calmed to an extent), prepare yourself well. This could be a very difficult task. You would need to be careful that his negative attitude doesnot effect you, and that you do not take the office package into your domestic space. If you feel thats happening, and you cannot handle it, I would say, dont stretch it too far, he isnt your responsibility.
I too had a temperament. The things that I tried to tune myself down, I am sharing them with you. These have worked on me, and my colleagues/friends/relatives. Hope it helps you too.
- First of all, tell yourself "I choose to work with my boss and accept him as my boss."
- "No one can make me feel inferior, without my consent."
- I have faith in my mission. (to tune down my Boss!. :), at least a tad bit.)
- When someone is angry, refrain from advising/highlighting mistakes. Bring the topic up at a later time when things are cooler.
- Respond rather than React. (Take 5 deep breaths before replying to your bosses demands/questions.)
- I use a lot of sentences of agreement when handling adament/demanding people. ex. * "You are absolutely right, maybe we should do it your way and also do this along with it..." * Yes, I agree with what you say....
- I normally try to manipulate the response of such people to channelise only their positive energies.
- Most important, allow them to remain in their comfort zone, keep your antennae high up in the air and any sign that the situation may go out of hand, seal the topic there and get busy with something else.
- You may also want to try speaking with your bosses' boss asking his "HELP" to calm your boss down.
- Try appreciating the good things in him. (If you can, say them aloud.)
- Get him involved. Seek his help in case studies. (Especially if there's a situation where there is conflict, seek his opinion, tell him how you intend to handle the situation and ask if he agress with your method. {and if he doesnt, dont get disheartened, follow your heart in solving the situation} the idea here is to get his thought porcess started).
You would realise a lot more things that you can do, once you decide to stretch a helping hand to your boss.
You have taken up a noble cause. I applaud your effort :) . I would really really like to here about the progress. And if you feel frustrated and begin feeling "why the hell am I even tolerating this @#%$23!" share your feelings too. I am cool with listening to whatever you wish to share with me.
[IMG]https://www.citehr.com/misc.php?do=email_dev&email=bmF5YW5hLmNoYW5kZXJAZ2 1haWwuY29t[/IMG]
Cheers.
From India, Pune
Hi Swetha,
We all are HR and HR has to work on the situation and tackle the problem.
Look there are two options you can go fore with,
1. As he is a tough guy,try to work with him and know what is his weakness.I don't say start working against him but try to work towards the process where you can handle the situation at ease knowing all his moves.
People Say "BOSSES are ALWAYS BOSSES",but one day will come when you will be the boss and your subordinate will say the same to you.
Where ever you go try to work on the situation rather than taking a clear decision of hopping.
How many days will you just do the hopping,it won't fetch you anything rather will make you "Jack of all and master of none" which i don't want with my HR community.
2. Don't give him chance to tell you something
From India, Warangal
We all are HR and HR has to work on the situation and tackle the problem.
Look there are two options you can go fore with,
1. As he is a tough guy,try to work with him and know what is his weakness.I don't say start working against him but try to work towards the process where you can handle the situation at ease knowing all his moves.
People Say "BOSSES are ALWAYS BOSSES",but one day will come when you will be the boss and your subordinate will say the same to you.
Where ever you go try to work on the situation rather than taking a clear decision of hopping.
How many days will you just do the hopping,it won't fetch you anything rather will make you "Jack of all and master of none" which i don't want with my HR community.
2. Don't give him chance to tell you something
From India, Warangal
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1.Be a Better Boss and not a Bitter Boss.doc