Dear,
I absolutely agree with you that opposites attract, saying this I would like to reiterate that opposite gender gel well.Women have tendency to dig deep into ones personal matters. Let me tell you no one is perfect and you approaching HR requesting to frame some policy doesn't help.
Instead I would suggest moving forward not to share your status with anyone except the management. Ultimately its a democratic country and we have rights for privacy. As long as we are good at work, it shouldn't affect anyone's personal life.
So please go ahead and don't reveal your personal details to anyone despite you knowing what will happen.Even your colleagues shouldn't know about this. Rather yopu can tell that your husband is frequently travelling etc.
Regards
From India, Coimbatore
1I absolutely agree with you that opposites attract, saying this I would like to reiterate that opposite gender gel well.Women have tendency to dig deep into ones personal matters. Let me tell you no one is perfect and you approaching HR requesting to frame some policy doesn't help.
Instead I would suggest moving forward not to share your status with anyone except the management. Ultimately its a democratic country and we have rights for privacy. As long as we are good at work, it shouldn't affect anyone's personal life.
So please go ahead and don't reveal your personal details to anyone despite you knowing what will happen.Even your colleagues shouldn't know about this. Rather yopu can tell that your husband is frequently travelling etc.
Regards
From India, Coimbatore
This is one of the common issues with every one, irrespective of the male or female, but it is very much appreciated that you brought it up here.....
How much ever you control and become tough it is not possible to avoid such irrelevant questions, as some people are more interested in others lives than their own!!
Suggestions : Always answer in one words, like yes, no, good, okay,
2) start taking the excuses and avoid such questions completely like, i have some work, have to make a call, need to go to loo, i am concentration on work,
3) always give the positive replies so that they never get the chance to cross question you. This also make them feel a kind of jealous or feel complexity issues, but be bold in answering them..... just know, that telling that u r doing perfect does not make you tell lies, afterall they are just the perceptions and not the facts......
never share your personal matter with any one unless it is the person who is your close friend or the best friend and people who already know well and very close relatives........ for others, it is not Ramayan or Mahabharatha to give them the pravachanas !!.........
4) always change the subject and always discussion anything and every thing to chat execet each other personal lives and lives of others, never involve a person in a chat, and make it a discussion, adopt a topic and argue on it, this helps the relations hips more matured and enhances the knowledge.......
5) if they still continue to disturb you, start asking cross question in the manner they ask and be tough and bold in asking the......
6) if they still disturb you after all the above practices, just avoid them, if that does not give you peace
7) the last resort would be dandam dasha gunam bhaveth, tell on their face not to ask such question which has nothing to do with them, and they are neither your supporters nor your people who undertake yours and your family responsibilities...... and it will be good for both of you to be quite and never bring up any ones personal matters n to light as it has nothing to do with any of you...... neither i am interested in listening to yours nor interested in sharing mine........
8) always try to ask them tough questions, regarding the jobs they do, so that you will have control on their emotions protecting yourself...... always make them research on asking them what they do not know and they are not good and bad at...... this rather helps you both positively in a learning way........
9) lastly, you must make up mind not to get disturbed because of the people who are hardly related to you, never let you mind pre -occupy and as well as think upon such feelings brought in because of others questions......... infact it is your WEAKNESS, you must not encourage your weakness, try to avoid taking things seriously when it comes to your emotional disbalances..... you must grow up in such cases, so that you never get a chance to be hurt........
Wish you clamaness.........
From India, Bangalore
How much ever you control and become tough it is not possible to avoid such irrelevant questions, as some people are more interested in others lives than their own!!
Suggestions : Always answer in one words, like yes, no, good, okay,
2) start taking the excuses and avoid such questions completely like, i have some work, have to make a call, need to go to loo, i am concentration on work,
3) always give the positive replies so that they never get the chance to cross question you. This also make them feel a kind of jealous or feel complexity issues, but be bold in answering them..... just know, that telling that u r doing perfect does not make you tell lies, afterall they are just the perceptions and not the facts......
never share your personal matter with any one unless it is the person who is your close friend or the best friend and people who already know well and very close relatives........ for others, it is not Ramayan or Mahabharatha to give them the pravachanas !!.........
4) always change the subject and always discussion anything and every thing to chat execet each other personal lives and lives of others, never involve a person in a chat, and make it a discussion, adopt a topic and argue on it, this helps the relations hips more matured and enhances the knowledge.......
5) if they still continue to disturb you, start asking cross question in the manner they ask and be tough and bold in asking the......
6) if they still disturb you after all the above practices, just avoid them, if that does not give you peace
7) the last resort would be dandam dasha gunam bhaveth, tell on their face not to ask such question which has nothing to do with them, and they are neither your supporters nor your people who undertake yours and your family responsibilities...... and it will be good for both of you to be quite and never bring up any ones personal matters n to light as it has nothing to do with any of you...... neither i am interested in listening to yours nor interested in sharing mine........
8) always try to ask them tough questions, regarding the jobs they do, so that you will have control on their emotions protecting yourself...... always make them research on asking them what they do not know and they are not good and bad at...... this rather helps you both positively in a learning way........
9) lastly, you must make up mind not to get disturbed because of the people who are hardly related to you, never let you mind pre -occupy and as well as think upon such feelings brought in because of others questions......... infact it is your WEAKNESS, you must not encourage your weakness, try to avoid taking things seriously when it comes to your emotional disbalances..... you must grow up in such cases, so that you never get a chance to be hurt........
Wish you clamaness.........
From India, Bangalore
Hi,
If you really intend to improve by yourself to become strong emotionally, here is just an attempt to it, go through the attachment and spend some time on it, and understand well, and do never fail to practice it sincerely...... if you may require any further guidance or support or encouragement, we are always here ...... you may contact me too through the email if you need.....
The attachment contains the pdf file of an workshop material on emotional intelligence, very easily and simply put, and contains very less pages, so you may spend time on and become strong......
Wish you have a nice day and better start..........
From India, Bangalore
If you really intend to improve by yourself to become strong emotionally, here is just an attempt to it, go through the attachment and spend some time on it, and understand well, and do never fail to practice it sincerely...... if you may require any further guidance or support or encouragement, we are always here ...... you may contact me too through the email if you need.....
The attachment contains the pdf file of an workshop material on emotional intelligence, very easily and simply put, and contains very less pages, so you may spend time on and become strong......
Wish you have a nice day and better start..........
From India, Bangalore
Those material you have are so useful. I have read that material you have attached, really very helpful and well explained, good for starters..... nijavaaglu bahala upayoga agathe, shradhe irbeku ashte.......
From India, Bangalore
From India, Bangalore
Hello,
It is very interesting to read about the various views .I have a question for all of you.
Can anyone will tell what they don't want to tell, no matter how talented the other person is.
Honestly, every body will have our own secrets. Just recollect our first day in a college or a new class.
Work place is not that very difficult to manage, after all we are well seasoned.
Remember, God will not give anything we cant handle.
With thanks & regards,
Elizabeth.
From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
It is very interesting to read about the various views .I have a question for all of you.
Can anyone will tell what they don't want to tell, no matter how talented the other person is.
Honestly, every body will have our own secrets. Just recollect our first day in a college or a new class.
Work place is not that very difficult to manage, after all we are well seasoned.
Remember, God will not give anything we cant handle.
With thanks & regards,
Elizabeth.
From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
Dear Elizabeth,
Honestly you have raised a nice question.
Sure we all do have secrets that we seldom share with all.
One need to understand that while asking questions to someone one should not overstep. For example - though it is not a secret but it sounds too rude to ask a male about his salary and a female about her age. Yes, as friends we do ask those personal questions to our peers and buddies. But if someone is not comfortable, we should refrain from asking such questions, shouldn't we?
Another thing as you named it "Secret" it can be revealed and/or shared only with choiced people of our life. And honestly it should come from the person and should not be a forced or tell me about it kind of thing.
If one has built up a rapport and if one is comfortable sharing, no one stopped him or her... But what disturbs a lot is someone is new in your group/workplace/building or wherever. Sure one is conscious to know him/her but in doing so one over steps and asks personal questions which can't be answered to anyone you meet in your life. And the most dreaded of all - if one don't answer, people assume and conclude in their own way. 50 stories by 50 people on 1 unanswered question and none close to the actual fact....
Hope it answered your query
From India, Mumbai
Honestly you have raised a nice question.
Sure we all do have secrets that we seldom share with all.
One need to understand that while asking questions to someone one should not overstep. For example - though it is not a secret but it sounds too rude to ask a male about his salary and a female about her age. Yes, as friends we do ask those personal questions to our peers and buddies. But if someone is not comfortable, we should refrain from asking such questions, shouldn't we?
Another thing as you named it "Secret" it can be revealed and/or shared only with choiced people of our life. And honestly it should come from the person and should not be a forced or tell me about it kind of thing.
If one has built up a rapport and if one is comfortable sharing, no one stopped him or her... But what disturbs a lot is someone is new in your group/workplace/building or wherever. Sure one is conscious to know him/her but in doing so one over steps and asks personal questions which can't be answered to anyone you meet in your life. And the most dreaded of all - if one don't answer, people assume and conclude in their own way. 50 stories by 50 people on 1 unanswered question and none close to the actual fact....
Hope it answered your query
From India, Mumbai
Dear Ankita,
Many thanks for your reply.
We do really want others not to interfere in our affairs. But in reality it is not so and we have to
overcome,
These kind of embracing questions are not new to us, and we face in every walk of like and over a
period of time we will get used to, and I admit there are very few questions still haunt and hurts.
Best way to avoid keep yourself busy and ignore stupid questions and anticipate and accept when you are changing jobs you have to go through this.
Regards,
Elizabeth.
From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
Many thanks for your reply.
We do really want others not to interfere in our affairs. But in reality it is not so and we have to
overcome,
These kind of embracing questions are not new to us, and we face in every walk of like and over a
period of time we will get used to, and I admit there are very few questions still haunt and hurts.
Best way to avoid keep yourself busy and ignore stupid questions and anticipate and accept when you are changing jobs you have to go through this.
Regards,
Elizabeth.
From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
Dear Anonymous,
I highly appreciate to share this question.
Definitely everyone analysed & added their valuable suggestions.
But, dear gist is that --- leave the past, LOVE yourself, BELIEVE in yourself. You will automatically feel secure for yourself & boost confidence level.
You must be CONFIDENT & face situation tactfully.
nobody have right to ask you personal questions & don't share it at all. Never mix your personal & professional life together. People may take disadvantage of it whether being male or female.
Be strong.
wish you peaceful mind.
From India, Nasik
I highly appreciate to share this question.
Definitely everyone analysed & added their valuable suggestions.
But, dear gist is that --- leave the past, LOVE yourself, BELIEVE in yourself. You will automatically feel secure for yourself & boost confidence level.
You must be CONFIDENT & face situation tactfully.
nobody have right to ask you personal questions & don't share it at all. Never mix your personal & professional life together. People may take disadvantage of it whether being male or female.
Be strong.
wish you peaceful mind.
From India, Nasik
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