HEY THT was a really gd article.,,, to say NO is the most difficult job for me, and may be also for many others. VEry helpful. thx for posting . Jaina
I prefer saying, "I have a different opinion", than saying NO. Although sometimes, saying strict NO is better, all it depends on the situation.
'NO' to what, when, where, who, & how is very important. I also practice this. But, when you say 'No' or 'a different opinion' it should be with positive attitude not in combination of negative attitude.
Saying NO requires courage.
Saying NO generates alternative way of thinking.
saying NO opens the channel for discussion.
Regards,
Sameer
From India, Calcutta
7'NO' to what, when, where, who, & how is very important. I also practice this. But, when you say 'No' or 'a different opinion' it should be with positive attitude not in combination of negative attitude.
Saying NO requires courage.
Saying NO generates alternative way of thinking.
saying NO opens the channel for discussion.
Regards,
Sameer
From India, Calcutta
saying no should not be developed as a habit. it should be situation based. otherwise you will be forced to backtrack and say yes.
Hi Deepali,
Good Post !
But dont agree it fully. Saying NO is alway better to be on safer side but life needs to have some challenges. And you have to experience all the facts of life to improve your life, that doesn't mean you should take a risk on your life.
Regards,
Swati
From India, Pune
Good Post !
But dont agree it fully. Saying NO is alway better to be on safer side but life needs to have some challenges. And you have to experience all the facts of life to improve your life, that doesn't mean you should take a risk on your life.
Regards,
Swati
From India, Pune
its fine wat ever exampl u suggest but they r not very specific sometimes we r not able to say no when we care someone very much n dont want to hurt him
From India, Kanpur
From India, Kanpur
Deepali,
I have observed that many people have fear to say " NO " initially and then later on they are unable to fulfill their promises, even though they were knowing their incapacities.
What happens after sometime ....this people are only the looser !! And, in bonus they are labeled as not good man ! Means, they are judged by some one!
So, why this happens?
Because, we are not in position for daring to say " NO " initially, when we know very well that we are not capable to do , even though we are saying " YES" !!
One has to be very clear in the beginning, before saying " YES " and must have daring to say " NO " , when there are absolutely not possible to fulfill any commitment to any one.
I think this is good to learn from this posting to keep a better relationship with others!!
Bharath :)
From India, Valsad
I have observed that many people have fear to say " NO " initially and then later on they are unable to fulfill their promises, even though they were knowing their incapacities.
What happens after sometime ....this people are only the looser !! And, in bonus they are labeled as not good man ! Means, they are judged by some one!
So, why this happens?
Because, we are not in position for daring to say " NO " initially, when we know very well that we are not capable to do , even though we are saying " YES" !!
One has to be very clear in the beginning, before saying " YES " and must have daring to say " NO " , when there are absolutely not possible to fulfill any commitment to any one.
I think this is good to learn from this posting to keep a better relationship with others!!
Bharath :)
From India, Valsad
Folks,
Pls go thro this conversations.....
TESS VIGELAND: Think you have a tough boss? Well at least you didn't have to work for Meryl Streep's character in "The Devil Wears Prada."
Emily character: I'm so sorry, Miranda, I actually did confirm last night . . .
Miranda Priestly character: Details of your incompetence do not interest me.
So how do you deal with a demanding boss who won't take no for an answer? First thing, you say no. Dr. Dory Hollander is the founder of Wise Workplaces. It's a management consulting and executive coaching firm. Dory, isn't saying no an incredibly hard and risky thing to do?
DORY HOLLANDER: Well it is and it really shouldn't be. That's why this is such an important topic, because most people have it all turned around. We're so afraid to say no when, in fact, it's saying yes repeatedly that is the real danger. If you indiscriminately say yes, you're going to get a lot of things that you're charged with that are not part of your job description.
VIGELAND: If you are saying yes to something, is it appropriate to ask for something in return?
HOLLANDER: Certainly, and that's the problem with people that habitually say yes. They don't ask for anything in return. They simply do it. And they do it uncomplainingly to the person, but complainingly to everyone else, which doesn't help. So the thing to do is to say, "I have a lot on my plate and it's really hard for me to do this. But I'm really happy to do this favor for you, and I will make it work. But you know, you owe me." And laugh -- they'll get it. You don't need to say anything more than that, they'll get it. Part of what they owe you could be taking something off your plate so you can help them. The other piece, Tess, of this that I think is everybody's blind spot who doesn't say no, is they think the boss is gonna really be upset if they say no.
VIGELAND: Right. Absolutely, it's a risk.
HOLLANDER: It's always a risk, especially if you have a bully boss, but if you have a sorta average run-of-the-mill boss, not great, not terrible, that boss would rather have you say no and not do a poor job. I work with lots of bosses in the work I do . . .
VIGELAND: Lucky you . . .
HOLLANDER: And they'll say, "Of course I want people to say no, because the last thing I want is somebody to say yes and not do it, not do it well, not do it on time." You know, I want them not only to say no, but I want them to say, "No I can't do that, I'll feel really pigeon-holed if I do that, it's something I used to do five years ago and I really want to grow and develop. Can you find something for me that I'm gonna really like and go up a learning curve on." And a lot of bosses say "I want a person like that."
VIGELAND: Well, Dory Hollander thank you for saying yes to us and coming in and talking to us.
HOLLANDER: You think I should have said no?
VIGELAND: Absolutely not. We're very glad you said yes.
HOLLANDER: I'm glad I said yes too.
Thanks
Praveen
From India
Pls go thro this conversations.....
TESS VIGELAND: Think you have a tough boss? Well at least you didn't have to work for Meryl Streep's character in "The Devil Wears Prada."
Emily character: I'm so sorry, Miranda, I actually did confirm last night . . .
Miranda Priestly character: Details of your incompetence do not interest me.
So how do you deal with a demanding boss who won't take no for an answer? First thing, you say no. Dr. Dory Hollander is the founder of Wise Workplaces. It's a management consulting and executive coaching firm. Dory, isn't saying no an incredibly hard and risky thing to do?
DORY HOLLANDER: Well it is and it really shouldn't be. That's why this is such an important topic, because most people have it all turned around. We're so afraid to say no when, in fact, it's saying yes repeatedly that is the real danger. If you indiscriminately say yes, you're going to get a lot of things that you're charged with that are not part of your job description.
VIGELAND: If you are saying yes to something, is it appropriate to ask for something in return?
HOLLANDER: Certainly, and that's the problem with people that habitually say yes. They don't ask for anything in return. They simply do it. And they do it uncomplainingly to the person, but complainingly to everyone else, which doesn't help. So the thing to do is to say, "I have a lot on my plate and it's really hard for me to do this. But I'm really happy to do this favor for you, and I will make it work. But you know, you owe me." And laugh -- they'll get it. You don't need to say anything more than that, they'll get it. Part of what they owe you could be taking something off your plate so you can help them. The other piece, Tess, of this that I think is everybody's blind spot who doesn't say no, is they think the boss is gonna really be upset if they say no.
VIGELAND: Right. Absolutely, it's a risk.
HOLLANDER: It's always a risk, especially if you have a bully boss, but if you have a sorta average run-of-the-mill boss, not great, not terrible, that boss would rather have you say no and not do a poor job. I work with lots of bosses in the work I do . . .
VIGELAND: Lucky you . . .
HOLLANDER: And they'll say, "Of course I want people to say no, because the last thing I want is somebody to say yes and not do it, not do it well, not do it on time." You know, I want them not only to say no, but I want them to say, "No I can't do that, I'll feel really pigeon-holed if I do that, it's something I used to do five years ago and I really want to grow and develop. Can you find something for me that I'm gonna really like and go up a learning curve on." And a lot of bosses say "I want a person like that."
VIGELAND: Well, Dory Hollander thank you for saying yes to us and coming in and talking to us.
HOLLANDER: You think I should have said no?
VIGELAND: Absolutely not. We're very glad you said yes.
HOLLANDER: I'm glad I said yes too.
Thanks
Praveen
From India
hello deepali,
i agree with you n ur thoughts... although it is a very subjective phenomenon but at times you just need to say "no" coz thats wat's the best alternative to the problem unless it is a genuine need.
Regards,
Nitin
From China
i agree with you n ur thoughts... although it is a very subjective phenomenon but at times you just need to say "no" coz thats wat's the best alternative to the problem unless it is a genuine need.
Regards,
Nitin
From China
Hi,
It depends person to person, some will agree and some won’t. It’s good to never keep anyone in dark or under any illusion, as we should be very clear in our thoughts and deeds to have a peace at our heart, but our reaction varies as per the situations. If we have to say no for some good it’s ok but if we have to say yes for a noble reason we should say yes.
It is very easy to say NO but very difficult to say YES.
Bibhutosh Bhadauria
From Australia, Balwyn
It depends person to person, some will agree and some won’t. It’s good to never keep anyone in dark or under any illusion, as we should be very clear in our thoughts and deeds to have a peace at our heart, but our reaction varies as per the situations. If we have to say no for some good it’s ok but if we have to say yes for a noble reason we should say yes.
It is very easy to say NO but very difficult to say YES.
Bibhutosh Bhadauria
From Australia, Balwyn
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