My boss is not active in his business. He is around 58 yrs.He tells me that I am not doing my job properly but he is never interested in what is going on in the business or in his office between his 15-20 yrs old staff who r playing cards all the time on computer. To make a long story short he threatened me by saying that he will not assign me any work in future. May be this is the indication of fire. I dn't know what is going in his mind. I have been with this company for 1.5 yrs and have put my heart and soul in to it.plz let me know that how i can deal with him.....Did he have the right to swear at me like that.
From India, New Delhi
Hi Ameeta,

Am so sorry to hear the way your boss has been treating you but on the other hand its evident that you have been working with him for 1.5years, a good span of time to know about your boss. If he concludes that you were not doing your job properly, then even though you believe that you have done it perfectly, let go your ego and apologize to him to find out on what grounds he came to this conclusion and what were your drawbacks.

The chances are either he had wrong impression on you, if so try to clear it out then and there by highlighting your accomplishments during your tenure in the company OR may be he is not aware that you are sincere in your work, so tell him henceforth you will report to him on daily basis, in such a way he is updated on the tasks that you done for that day, also he gets to know your commitment towards the work. Find out if any politics is been played around you. Gaining confidence of your boss is needed on first priority, later everything will set right automatically.

If your boss said that he will not assign you any work in future, then definitely a reason lies behind it, find out, if thats really a mistake then try to rectify that and approach your boss to convince him that this will not repeat again, in the other phase if he is wrong and prove that he is wrong and he has created a wrong image of you. Things will work out only when we speak out but always be clear with what you say and do. Even if things doesn't work out, then look out for a new opportunity.

Good Luck.


- Babu

From India, Madras
Dear Ameeta ,

Please find my observations and suggestion as attached below :
  • Your boss is a senior , hence observe him accordingly. Identify his triggers. What makes him irritated? Its normal that he would not be very patient , understand what are the areas that is making him so impatient?
  • Identify who are his influencer? What makes them leave an impact?
  • Work wise , he may not be saying or defining his standards. But if its his business, its impossible that he is passive about it. May be he have professionally achieved what he had set out for. Identify them and acknowledge them . Make sure you add value to them .
  • ]He may not be in the emotional level to groom or mentor you. So work on it differently. Observe his business acumen. Complement them with actions. Such as , if he is excellent at client's communication, work on your own level. And start maintaining similarly standards in your communication.
  • Find out his professional journey , identify the landmarks and acknowledge the effort he has made so far. When you start doing it , he will see your effort.
  • Remember this is your effort to identify his strengths and his journey . Never judge him.
  • Above all RESPECT him no matter how much he tests you with your patience. Please remember when someone shouts, act rash , never show any empathy and many such distracting behavior. They are merely asking for attention. Remain assertive, never lose your own composure , RESPECT and identify the behavioral cycle. Act accordingly. When he seems to lose his temper and shout , stay clam and acknowledge the area related to work. Stay focussed at work and keep delivering on his parameters. No sooner or later he would calm down. At that point of time he would see the effort. This kind of support behavior will build in the necessary trust with him. How do you think , those other people have worked for 15-20 years? On the top they manage to survive by playing cards on computer ! It simply means they have identified his triggers. They weigh and deliver on the parameters that your boss counts. They even know his blind spots. That how they are so relaxed. They know exactly what he is not prepared for and how to present it to him. If I am not wrong, they never show him, that they are scared. Sometimes, strong people gets very upset to see others being scared of them. They feel uncomfortable and reflects it with acting aggressively. Observe these team members I am sure they act appropriately and follow the behavioral cycle of your boss.
  • This is your best opportunity to learn. He is a god-send chance for you to learn, how to deal with difficult people. Remember, that this is still a senior man whom you would find easy to respect . How would you deal similarly difficult team members and other employees, who might be vital to your revenue but impossible to handle ? You have to far more matured and balanced where you have no scope to make an error.
  • Decide on your takeaways. The fact that you would decide what you wish to learn from this environment before you move on to the next, will help you to stand for yourself. Don't worry, if God has put you into this situation, you are the best one to handle it. Probably in the years to come you would find this was your goldmine. So do not give up , use this situation to prepare the best for the days to come.

Think about it . Blog your journey so that we can contribute to your strength. Wish you all the best !

Regards,
(Cite Contribution)


From India, Mumbai
I sincerely appreciate the responses from beauty_babu and (Cite Contribution); it shows their maturity, understanding of life-sitauations, people around us; and how to deal with them/such issues in the 'right' way.

I think, it would be of particular significance to the young HR professionals, if they shed their own egos and look at the 'problems' they are facing, objectively and 'dis-passionately' - without getting/feeling 'hurt'. The feeling of 'hurt', 'insult' and 'not getting appropriate credit (as perceived by oneself)' comes only when one involves one's ego.

Don't we all "accept" our parents and dear ones, despite being aware of their 'shortcomings' ? This is because we understand they 'belong to us' inasmuchas we 'belong to them'.

Dear Ameeta, I do understand your agony and sense of bewilderment; but still I say this : once you start treating him as 'your' boss in spirit and actions; you will see "change" happening. This new perspective of looking at things, will not only make your problems evaporate; they will also make him a better person in the long run (and that is real Human Resource Development).

You are young, and have a long way to go in life. Do think over these responses calmly, to find if they make good sense to you. Do feel free to revert back, in case you need further assistance or clarification.

Warm regards.

From India, Delhi
Hi Ameeta,

1. Speak to your boss and try to understand whether "I am not doing my job properly" is fact or just a perception.
2. If you are confident that you are doing your work, properly, try to convince your boss. Better not to compare others' performance with your issues and let them play cards or sleep in office (why should you care if you are not in charge of discipline or HR)
3. Try to understand your strengths and shortcomings, particularly something which is influencing/affecting the assigned area of work
4. Be assertive, empathetic, show reasonable patience but never act like a slave
5. I think you should not waste time to do R & D on finding the mood swings in your boss, change your character to compromise boss's misbehavior (if any) etc. Also keep in mind that your current organization is not the 'end of the world'
6. If your boss continues to be arrogant after all these efforts and saying that you will be sidelined without any work, plan for a change in job
7. Prepare your resume, improve networks, find a better job, bag a good offer and then place resignation

From India, Bangalore
Dear Ms. Ameeta
Whatever you had experienced, i had experienced the same. I know what i did for my ex-employer but i didn't get what i was expecting in anticipation to my hardwork, commitment, dedication, honest, sincerely and more....At last i resigned and took another job.

1)Do consider what others members had suggest you positively.
2)I suggest you not to break your head after your current boss and his company because i was an employee, just like you are today.
3) We don't have any right to talk negative about our boss and his company. Let his loose whatever his wants. After he is the owner of his company or may be he owns a share XY%.
4)Just be practical and practice POSITIVE THINKING SKILLS.
6) Please start hunting for new job.
7) Also please don't speak negative about your current boss and his company, whatsoever he or his company may be. , In general complaining nature is not acceptable to many. PAST SHOULD BE PAST.
8)Keep acquiring knowledge as much as you can and utilize the available resources for applying jobs rather resigning due to tension.
9) Think about your future and believe in yourself, your skills/talents and march ahead. It is you who have to decide your destiny and don't expect others to do your job.

There is lot more tell you but i sincerely don't wish to confuse you as your state of mind will not accept new things unless and until you start sending POSITIVE SIGNALS to your brain. Ultimately the output will be POSITIVE.

Wish you good luck for your future......

With profound regards

From India, Chennai
I think you have to win your boss's attention and work hard to do that people may have wrong perception for us so here work is not only matter but human factor is quite important. seat with him with his permission discuss your work and let him guide you if he can and seek assistance even if not so worthy that may satisfy his ego that is there with all kind of bosses. Discuus your work along with that discuss surrounding of work also that may make him interesting to listen. if this ice breaking not work then most probably you have to work hard for developing some other way of communication with him to bridge gap of expectations. might be daily reporting to him, followup of work. initiating new ideas and lot more.
From India, Rajkot
Dear Ameeta,
I will not give you any particular advice. But would suggest to go through the responses calmly and then decide as the situation you are facing you know it BEST and suggestions offered are based only on the information you have provided as we do not know the other side of the coin. Undoubtedly, the suggestions from seniors are valuable, however, I sincerely feel one should judge from his own parameters, apply mind before deciding a course of action.
Best wishes.
Regards,
Vaishalee

From India, Pune
Thanks to u Mita for your guidance.
I agree with u Vaishali. Actually, my boss wants to expand his business with the support of his son. But his son is not interested in his business. This is the only reason.

From India, New Delhi
Hi Ameeta, If his son is not interested in his dad’s business then in what way does that links to you. Is he showing that frustration on you. can you be a bit clear. - Babu
From India, Madras
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