I am akash,25 years old ,I have been facing a very big problem for past 6 years,the thing is that whenever I gotta do some thing infront of a group of people I will be getting nervous.I will be getting in to a feeling that I am alone and I have to do it lonely.So I am scared to face a group of people .(it seems I am shyed about me) .I will be getting in to a thinking to run away from that stage .If anybody can give me a solution for this I will be really thankfull to them.:-x
From India, Bangalore
From India, Bangalore
Confidence is the only way to build yourself effective. Read inspirational and motivation related books. Keep reading as your important practice through your life. Updating knowledge, effective communication through eye-to-eye contact can make you feel easy with the stage fear.
Take care and all the very best in your future endeavours. Hope to hear from you soon.
From India, Madras
Take care and all the very best in your future endeavours. Hope to hear from you soon.
From India, Madras
hi akash,
welcome to stage fear. this happens because you feel you are the centre of attention. just relax and speak / do as if you are interacting with your friend.
if it's stage fear, you are talking about, then the first thing is organising your thoughts, controlling your breath, not cramming your lines but going with hints as you prepare. this will help if you are stuck with something. never think that you are alone (it's that the thought that clouds your mind)
make any opportunity that comes your way for demonstrating or speaking with people. one another way is practising when you are at home (in your room) - looking at the mirror and developing yourself.
suggest you read Natalie Rogers "Speak without Fear"
From India, Madras
22welcome to stage fear. this happens because you feel you are the centre of attention. just relax and speak / do as if you are interacting with your friend.
if it's stage fear, you are talking about, then the first thing is organising your thoughts, controlling your breath, not cramming your lines but going with hints as you prepare. this will help if you are stuck with something. never think that you are alone (it's that the thought that clouds your mind)
make any opportunity that comes your way for demonstrating or speaking with people. one another way is practising when you are at home (in your room) - looking at the mirror and developing yourself.
suggest you read Natalie Rogers "Speak without Fear"
From India, Madras
Akash,
The problem what you are facing right now is a problem of a lot of people when they have to do a Public speaking. I guess we all have faced this problem once in life & faced the nervosuness also at that time.
The first step to deal with it is as said by jayapraksh is that start having confidence in yourself. Just think no matter how embarssing or how funny it will be you have to overcome it.
Second, try to get a grip on English & Hindi by reading basic English books to start with & along with a good English newspaper, just read it & TRY to understand. Do the same with Hindi newspaper.
Third, loudly read that newspaper while standing in front of a mirror thinking as if you are telling a group of people what is written in the newspaper.
If you have a group of friends or even your family members then tell them what you are trying to improve. Call 2-3 of them, make them sit in front of you, choose a topic related to your daily life (it can be as simple like what all you did yesterday throughout the whole day) & put it as a speech in front of them. Do it may be once a week if your friends have time & that patience or else you can do it alone thinking that you have people in front of you
All the above mentioned things might look funny & with friends it might even look very embarssing & they might also laugh on you but understand that's what you have to overcome so keep doing it.
What i said to you above are quite simple things to start with which you can apply in your everyday life
but still if you think that it is not enough or your not able to do it then probably you can join some Personality Grooming Class where they also teach you Public Speaking
Also one thing which i have noticed which reduces nervousness to some extent while speaking is that don't have too much of eye contact with people while speaking publicly , keep looking at them but not at length, try to keep your vision moving from person to another or may be looking at their heads, at the last row, at the front row but don't follow this if someone is asking you something then surely look at them while answering.
I know all this will take time for you to start applying but still Best of Luck :-)
From India, Delhi
The problem what you are facing right now is a problem of a lot of people when they have to do a Public speaking. I guess we all have faced this problem once in life & faced the nervosuness also at that time.
The first step to deal with it is as said by jayapraksh is that start having confidence in yourself. Just think no matter how embarssing or how funny it will be you have to overcome it.
Second, try to get a grip on English & Hindi by reading basic English books to start with & along with a good English newspaper, just read it & TRY to understand. Do the same with Hindi newspaper.
Third, loudly read that newspaper while standing in front of a mirror thinking as if you are telling a group of people what is written in the newspaper.
If you have a group of friends or even your family members then tell them what you are trying to improve. Call 2-3 of them, make them sit in front of you, choose a topic related to your daily life (it can be as simple like what all you did yesterday throughout the whole day) & put it as a speech in front of them. Do it may be once a week if your friends have time & that patience or else you can do it alone thinking that you have people in front of you
All the above mentioned things might look funny & with friends it might even look very embarssing & they might also laugh on you but understand that's what you have to overcome so keep doing it.
What i said to you above are quite simple things to start with which you can apply in your everyday life
but still if you think that it is not enough or your not able to do it then probably you can join some Personality Grooming Class where they also teach you Public Speaking
Also one thing which i have noticed which reduces nervousness to some extent while speaking is that don't have too much of eye contact with people while speaking publicly , keep looking at them but not at length, try to keep your vision moving from person to another or may be looking at their heads, at the last row, at the front row but don't follow this if someone is asking you something then surely look at them while answering.
I know all this will take time for you to start applying but still Best of Luck :-)
From India, Delhi
Dear prashanth, I am realy thankful to your reply and I will try my best to do all the methods,and if u have time please give me more suggestions.again thank you..
From India, Bangalore
From India, Bangalore
I must tell thanks to you.I think the method of speaking ''like just interacting with my friends"will work for me,and practicing infront of a mirror also good.give me more suggestions .I am realy thankful to you .but the important part is I can start like this but I need to make it lasting till end of the speech.
From India, Bangalore
From India, Bangalore
One thing I need to let you know is - when you look into the mirror and talk, start admiring yourself. Smile at yourself.. compliment yourself.
reason: only when you start liking yourself and what you do - you will be sure that others are also looking at you and complimenting yoyu the same way.
also please note when you sit and watch a person delivering - what is it that you look in for?
Control over body anguage
Confidence
smile
and ... yes, the message
Same way see what you have to improve for the crowd watching you, and what content tehy are looking for.
Good Luck!
From India, Madras
reason: only when you start liking yourself and what you do - you will be sure that others are also looking at you and complimenting yoyu the same way.
also please note when you sit and watch a person delivering - what is it that you look in for?
Control over body anguage
Confidence
smile
and ... yes, the message
Same way see what you have to improve for the crowd watching you, and what content tehy are looking for.
Good Luck!
From India, Madras
Dear Akash,
Only handful of people are blessed with non nervousness while in public speaking or who can speak impromptu. Majority face the same problem as you are facing. If you intend to avoid nervesness you should have command over the language you want to speak in public. For examlple if you want to make a speach in English you should have a good vocabulary for which you should make a pracice of reading a lot. To improve the language and speach you should read aloud any English news papers or English magazines atleast for half- an -hour daily. You should try to read the editorial column which consists of effective words. In my opinion practice makes man perfect. You should tell yourself that if others can do it you can also do it. In the beginning everybody face the problem but slowly things improve. Your courage part increases day by day and your fear will slowly disappear. Once you improve your courage whatever you speak is only correct. If you attempt to speak something in public you are doing a great thing. Even if some one criticises you or laughs at your mistake you should think that the person who laughs at your mistake may not have courage to face the public at all. Take courage. I once again insist 'practice makes man perfect and slow and steady wins the race. All the best
regards
madhwa
From India, Mumbai
Only handful of people are blessed with non nervousness while in public speaking or who can speak impromptu. Majority face the same problem as you are facing. If you intend to avoid nervesness you should have command over the language you want to speak in public. For examlple if you want to make a speach in English you should have a good vocabulary for which you should make a pracice of reading a lot. To improve the language and speach you should read aloud any English news papers or English magazines atleast for half- an -hour daily. You should try to read the editorial column which consists of effective words. In my opinion practice makes man perfect. You should tell yourself that if others can do it you can also do it. In the beginning everybody face the problem but slowly things improve. Your courage part increases day by day and your fear will slowly disappear. Once you improve your courage whatever you speak is only correct. If you attempt to speak something in public you are doing a great thing. Even if some one criticises you or laughs at your mistake you should think that the person who laughs at your mistake may not have courage to face the public at all. Take courage. I once again insist 'practice makes man perfect and slow and steady wins the race. All the best
regards
madhwa
From India, Mumbai
Dear Akashh,
By virtue of the strength & richness of the site you have already received excellent practical feedback, particularly from prashant & Asha Mathew, pl put it to regular practice. In addition I am giving you the theoretical/conceptual base to strengthen your conviction. Let me introduce you to the concept of Cybernetics.
cybernetics - science of communications and control within systems - choice over instinct
Cybernetics is the science of control and communications in animals, including humankind, and machines. The study of cybernetics has been used in various ways since ancient times to attempt to explain and understand and manage the effective workings of all manner of systems - social, organisational, animal, mechanical, electronic and others. As such, the cybernetics concept (notably 'the first law of cybernetics') is immensely relevant to the modern development of management, and one's own role and potential within systems of all kinds.
The organisation in which we work; the world in which we live; the people around us - these are all systems.
The 'first law of cybernetics' has massive significance especially in understanding and developing greater individual self-determination; and greater understanding, tolerance and variety of responses to situations and people around us; which are all essential for our ability to interact and respond effectively within work and beyond.
The 'first law of cybernetics' is arguably one of the most powerful maxims for living a happy productive and successful life.
The 1st law of cybernetics
"The unit within the system with the most behavioural responses available to it controls the system."
Think about it:
"The unit within the system with the most behavioural responses available to it controls the system."
The 'unit' is you.
The 'behavioural responses' are how you react and plan, and what you do and say.
The 'system' is the environment (in all respects) and the people that represent the world that you seek to succeed within.
And 'control' is the choice that you are able to exercise in achieving what you want, whatever that may be.
In addition to this I am appending a presentation on Transaction Analysis which will probably rationalise your thoughts on interpersonnel communications.
Wish you accomplishment of a towering personality !!
Arun Chopra
From India, Delhi
By virtue of the strength & richness of the site you have already received excellent practical feedback, particularly from prashant & Asha Mathew, pl put it to regular practice. In addition I am giving you the theoretical/conceptual base to strengthen your conviction. Let me introduce you to the concept of Cybernetics.
cybernetics - science of communications and control within systems - choice over instinct
Cybernetics is the science of control and communications in animals, including humankind, and machines. The study of cybernetics has been used in various ways since ancient times to attempt to explain and understand and manage the effective workings of all manner of systems - social, organisational, animal, mechanical, electronic and others. As such, the cybernetics concept (notably 'the first law of cybernetics') is immensely relevant to the modern development of management, and one's own role and potential within systems of all kinds.
The organisation in which we work; the world in which we live; the people around us - these are all systems.
The 'first law of cybernetics' has massive significance especially in understanding and developing greater individual self-determination; and greater understanding, tolerance and variety of responses to situations and people around us; which are all essential for our ability to interact and respond effectively within work and beyond.
The 'first law of cybernetics' is arguably one of the most powerful maxims for living a happy productive and successful life.
The 1st law of cybernetics
"The unit within the system with the most behavioural responses available to it controls the system."
Think about it:
"The unit within the system with the most behavioural responses available to it controls the system."
The 'unit' is you.
The 'behavioural responses' are how you react and plan, and what you do and say.
The 'system' is the environment (in all respects) and the people that represent the world that you seek to succeed within.
And 'control' is the choice that you are able to exercise in achieving what you want, whatever that may be.
In addition to this I am appending a presentation on Transaction Analysis which will probably rationalise your thoughts on interpersonnel communications.
Wish you accomplishment of a towering personality !!
Arun Chopra
From India, Delhi
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