Hi all,
I joined one company before 3 months as a hr before my joining there is no hr department in my company now my issue one girl is working here since 7 years and she is handikap and she is taking care for reception department and arrange call for employee the thing is that she is so rude and every time mis behaving with everyone and before few days she also mis behved with me without any reason so i complained my boss regarding this but there is no result. before this issue many employee complained about her to my boss but there is no result after this incident one girl was came to me who is sitting next to her and she is also taking care for reception and she told me about her behaviour and she is so scared and she told me that i never shared this things to other as well as my boss again before few days she missbehaved with another employee when i complained my boss about her he told me that she is working since 7 years and she is handle her work very effectively and and she is very hardworker and she is so emotional but that girl is playing duble face when she is front of my boss she act diffrently like "bechari" and in front of other she played different role so what can i do please help me.
From India, Kolkata
2I joined one company before 3 months as a hr before my joining there is no hr department in my company now my issue one girl is working here since 7 years and she is handikap and she is taking care for reception department and arrange call for employee the thing is that she is so rude and every time mis behaving with everyone and before few days she also mis behved with me without any reason so i complained my boss regarding this but there is no result. before this issue many employee complained about her to my boss but there is no result after this incident one girl was came to me who is sitting next to her and she is also taking care for reception and she told me about her behaviour and she is so scared and she told me that i never shared this things to other as well as my boss again before few days she missbehaved with another employee when i complained my boss about her he told me that she is working since 7 years and she is handle her work very effectively and and she is very hardworker and she is so emotional but that girl is playing duble face when she is front of my boss she act diffrently like "bechari" and in front of other she played different role so what can i do please help me.
From India, Kolkata
Dear Hiral,
Thumb rule of being and HR is that when you highlight a problem, keep a suggested solution ready with you. Simply oging and complaining to your boss will not serve the purpose. The fact that she has been associated with the organisation for 7 years and seniors believe that she is headworker plus she has brownie points of having gained their trust will make things difficult for you. Another fact that she is a special case being handicap needs to be addressed with proper care. And being an HR this lies on your shoulders.
I suggest:
-Talk to your boss starting by telling him how other employees had come to you with the stress they are facing due to her behaviour. If needed, have them talk to your boss.
- Explain your boss that how equally important is for the company to address their problems to have them work stress-free and loyally in your company.
- Tell him about your experience with her
- Tell him to give anonymous call on the reception and check
- Explain him politely how important this is to you to handle such a situation as an HR so that everyone only gains positively out of this.
- Check with him if you as a company can arrange for a friendly counselling session for her separately
Also, try and strike a positive conversation with her and see if the stress between you and her can be eased for you to gain trust as an HR. You must also frame few general code of conduct policies for your company (with approval from your seniors) and circulate it to all. See if things changes this way.
Good luck!
From India, Mumbai
Thumb rule of being and HR is that when you highlight a problem, keep a suggested solution ready with you. Simply oging and complaining to your boss will not serve the purpose. The fact that she has been associated with the organisation for 7 years and seniors believe that she is headworker plus she has brownie points of having gained their trust will make things difficult for you. Another fact that she is a special case being handicap needs to be addressed with proper care. And being an HR this lies on your shoulders.
I suggest:
-Talk to your boss starting by telling him how other employees had come to you with the stress they are facing due to her behaviour. If needed, have them talk to your boss.
- Explain your boss that how equally important is for the company to address their problems to have them work stress-free and loyally in your company.
- Tell him about your experience with her
- Tell him to give anonymous call on the reception and check
- Explain him politely how important this is to you to handle such a situation as an HR so that everyone only gains positively out of this.
- Check with him if you as a company can arrange for a friendly counselling session for her separately
Also, try and strike a positive conversation with her and see if the stress between you and her can be eased for you to gain trust as an HR. You must also frame few general code of conduct policies for your company (with approval from your seniors) and circulate it to all. See if things changes this way.
Good luck!
From India, Mumbai
Dear Hiral,
She is a Rookie to what you are a Newbie. No amount of complain can help unless you have a camera placed without her knowledge, capturing her misbehaviour.
However, this will equally back fire as it will show you as a conniving HR.
Hence initially observe her, with as little as interaction possible. Connect with her, when seniors are around. Push the envelop at that point and finish all your tasks you have with her.
I had a bully reporting to me in one of my roles. She had joined the firm long back and felt she was eligible for the role, the employers hired me. The bone of contention literally remains till date. If given a chance, she wouldn't miss trolling me, if not bully.
On my part, I kept every communication extremely official with her. Mostly connected over mail, even we she sat two desks next to mine. In case she played smart, I used to copy my boss in the thread. She had to mellow down.
However, this wasn't it all. She went around provoking everyone against me. Yes, I used to loose my cool, till I learnt that when people will need me they will come to me on terms. And that changed the game. I made sure the processes are flagged off by me. I had enough knowledge, hence could stand my ground.
I am sure there are many more ways to deal bullies at work.
Understanding and empathising them is important. But that alone doesn't solve the problem. Just as she got seasoned by bullying other for years, I too trained myself on handling such people.
Wish you all the best !
From India, Mumbai
She is a Rookie to what you are a Newbie. No amount of complain can help unless you have a camera placed without her knowledge, capturing her misbehaviour.
However, this will equally back fire as it will show you as a conniving HR.
Hence initially observe her, with as little as interaction possible. Connect with her, when seniors are around. Push the envelop at that point and finish all your tasks you have with her.
I had a bully reporting to me in one of my roles. She had joined the firm long back and felt she was eligible for the role, the employers hired me. The bone of contention literally remains till date. If given a chance, she wouldn't miss trolling me, if not bully.
On my part, I kept every communication extremely official with her. Mostly connected over mail, even we she sat two desks next to mine. In case she played smart, I used to copy my boss in the thread. She had to mellow down.
However, this wasn't it all. She went around provoking everyone against me. Yes, I used to loose my cool, till I learnt that when people will need me they will come to me on terms. And that changed the game. I made sure the processes are flagged off by me. I had enough knowledge, hence could stand my ground.
I am sure there are many more ways to deal bullies at work.
Understanding and empathising them is important. But that alone doesn't solve the problem. Just as she got seasoned by bullying other for years, I too trained myself on handling such people.
Wish you all the best !
From India, Mumbai
Dear Hiral
I have a different view here.
Perhaps it might provide you an entirely new perspective to look at the situation, and consequently provide you with more alternatives to deal with the situation.
Therefore, instead of taking your side and agreeing with all your insinuations, let me try to play the Devil's Advocate here.
First of all, let us understand that if you joined recently a company as an HR, where there was no HR or HR system earlier, it is safe to assume that it must be a private organization, that too a very small one.
What is the present headcount ?
Since an HR has been recruited for the first time, It must be around 100.
Now, do you understand the fact that in such a small organization, there must be a face-to-face interaction between the staff.
Everyone must be knowing the other person well, even to the extent of knowing their families.
You have been here for three months as as HR.
How well do you know your employees ???
Do you know what problems that employee may be facing commuting to work every day and then dealing with her family responsibilities. A good HR's work is not restricted just to workplace.
The person for whom you used the term "handikap" (sic) had been working there for 7 years.
Tell me, does a small private organization exists for CHARITY TO THE DISABLED ????
And, by the way, it is very DEROGATORY to use the term "handikap" for People with Disabilities. !!!
Especially, an HR who deals with Human Beings, especially Employees, using a term like "handikap", that too with wrong spellings; what can anyone INFER about his capabilities and sensitivity ????
Are you not aware, what is the right term to use for PERSONS WITH DISABILITIES ???
Moreover, you need to be more Disability-sensitive and learn Disability-language as being an HR with a long career ahaed, you have a long way to go and you will meet many "Persons With Disabilities" in your career in future !! So avoid becoming "emotionally-challenged" !!!
Moreover, despite complaining twice to the Boss, nothing happened !!!
On the contrary, you were given a FEEDBACK ON HER GOOD PERFORMANCE by the boss himself !!!
So what does it speak about that PERSON WITH DISABILITIES ???
It only says that despite her physical disability she is a Star Performer !!!
You must be aware very well, that how difficult it is to survive in private sector, if one doesn't perform even for a few months, and this lady has been winning accolades for 7 long years.
So, there is absolutely no doubt about her Performance part.
Now, coming to the MISBEHAVIOUR aspect :
What is "misbehaviour" ?
And what is "being rude" ?
A person may not be soft-spoken or talkative. Another person may perceive this as being rude.
A person may not, for whatever reason, greet you back when you say "Good Morning!"
Some may construe it as Misbehaviour !!
Some may find it very offending - in the same manner if you call a physically disabled person - "Handikap" !!!.
Just imagine, if such persons are reading your post, what impressions they will have about you ??
To conclude.
I would suggest that you change your perception and attitude about people. Stop feeling threatened and try to ACCEPT PEOPLE AS THEY ARE.
Not everybody can be sweet and nice to you, nor they need to. Acknowledge this fact and do not judge them based on what you think are their intentions.
Moreover,
A good organization thrives on DIVERSITY. It is the hallmark of a thriving growing company. Its good that your company believes in Diversity ant Workplace.
Its good to know that your company is an EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER in the true sense.
Finally, there doesn't appear to be any instance of "Bullying", because Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. Two important aspect of bullying are :
- the person being bullied (victim) is weaker than the bully
- the person is bullied to do something, which normally he would not do.
In this case, both these vital elements are missing.
So it might be construed as Rude behaviour or Misbehaviour, but it would need a really fertile imagination to call it a case of Bullying, of a Sr. HR with no physical disabilities by a person with disabilities working as a Receptionist.
Hope my words did not offend or hurt you, coz that was not my intention.
If you are looking for a practical solution, then this is what I think might work :
Go and talk to the employee concerned.
Tell her how offended and hurt you felt due to her curt behaviour with you, and how others also told you about a few such instances.
In desperation you went to the Boss with complaints.
And how the Boss gave you a feedback on her excellent performance and how happy he is to consider you as an asset for the organization.
Now, this suggested solution will only work if you shed your ego, hatred and insensitivity towards others; and are able to convey your genuine feelings of appreciation.
Warm regards.
From India, Delhi
I have a different view here.
Perhaps it might provide you an entirely new perspective to look at the situation, and consequently provide you with more alternatives to deal with the situation.
Therefore, instead of taking your side and agreeing with all your insinuations, let me try to play the Devil's Advocate here.
First of all, let us understand that if you joined recently a company as an HR, where there was no HR or HR system earlier, it is safe to assume that it must be a private organization, that too a very small one.
What is the present headcount ?
Since an HR has been recruited for the first time, It must be around 100.
Now, do you understand the fact that in such a small organization, there must be a face-to-face interaction between the staff.
Everyone must be knowing the other person well, even to the extent of knowing their families.
You have been here for three months as as HR.
How well do you know your employees ???
Do you know what problems that employee may be facing commuting to work every day and then dealing with her family responsibilities. A good HR's work is not restricted just to workplace.
The person for whom you used the term "handikap" (sic) had been working there for 7 years.
Tell me, does a small private organization exists for CHARITY TO THE DISABLED ????
And, by the way, it is very DEROGATORY to use the term "handikap" for People with Disabilities. !!!
Especially, an HR who deals with Human Beings, especially Employees, using a term like "handikap", that too with wrong spellings; what can anyone INFER about his capabilities and sensitivity ????
Are you not aware, what is the right term to use for PERSONS WITH DISABILITIES ???
Moreover, you need to be more Disability-sensitive and learn Disability-language as being an HR with a long career ahaed, you have a long way to go and you will meet many "Persons With Disabilities" in your career in future !! So avoid becoming "emotionally-challenged" !!!
Moreover, despite complaining twice to the Boss, nothing happened !!!
On the contrary, you were given a FEEDBACK ON HER GOOD PERFORMANCE by the boss himself !!!
So what does it speak about that PERSON WITH DISABILITIES ???
It only says that despite her physical disability she is a Star Performer !!!
You must be aware very well, that how difficult it is to survive in private sector, if one doesn't perform even for a few months, and this lady has been winning accolades for 7 long years.
So, there is absolutely no doubt about her Performance part.
Now, coming to the MISBEHAVIOUR aspect :
What is "misbehaviour" ?
And what is "being rude" ?
A person may not be soft-spoken or talkative. Another person may perceive this as being rude.
A person may not, for whatever reason, greet you back when you say "Good Morning!"
Some may construe it as Misbehaviour !!
Some may find it very offending - in the same manner if you call a physically disabled person - "Handikap" !!!.
Just imagine, if such persons are reading your post, what impressions they will have about you ??
To conclude.
I would suggest that you change your perception and attitude about people. Stop feeling threatened and try to ACCEPT PEOPLE AS THEY ARE.
Not everybody can be sweet and nice to you, nor they need to. Acknowledge this fact and do not judge them based on what you think are their intentions.
Moreover,
A good organization thrives on DIVERSITY. It is the hallmark of a thriving growing company. Its good that your company believes in Diversity ant Workplace.
Its good to know that your company is an EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER in the true sense.
Finally, there doesn't appear to be any instance of "Bullying", because Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. Two important aspect of bullying are :
- the person being bullied (victim) is weaker than the bully
- the person is bullied to do something, which normally he would not do.
In this case, both these vital elements are missing.
So it might be construed as Rude behaviour or Misbehaviour, but it would need a really fertile imagination to call it a case of Bullying, of a Sr. HR with no physical disabilities by a person with disabilities working as a Receptionist.
Hope my words did not offend or hurt you, coz that was not my intention.
If you are looking for a practical solution, then this is what I think might work :
Go and talk to the employee concerned.
Tell her how offended and hurt you felt due to her curt behaviour with you, and how others also told you about a few such instances.
In desperation you went to the Boss with complaints.
And how the Boss gave you a feedback on her excellent performance and how happy he is to consider you as an asset for the organization.
Now, this suggested solution will only work if you shed your ego, hatred and insensitivity towards others; and are able to convey your genuine feelings of appreciation.
Warm regards.
From India, Delhi
Hello Hiral Bhojani,
I am not sure of your experience level.
But being in HR, I am sure you would know......or at the very least have observed.........that the Reference Points of judging or forming opinion of people depend on many factors.....and also keep varying along time. And this has NOTHING to do with HR per-se--it's plain human psychology, whether @ office or personal situations [who would YOU give more weightage to, at least initially.......a 3 months old friendship or a 7 yrs-old friendship?].
Here you have this lady who has been working since 7 yrs & you joined 3 months back. That's Factor #1--IF you were in the boss's positions, WHOM would you give more weightage?
Next coming to Factor #2--she's working in the Reception. You are the First HR person to join. Who was handling.....EVEN IF informally.......the HR function so far? My bet is that this lady would have been handling.........at least a major chunk of the running-around activities. Now IF you were this Lady, how would you respond/react IF someone came & (in your view) took-over some of your responsibilities--and consequently the credit--from you & you are left with minor jobs like Reception, etc? Irrespective of the level or designation or salary, most people, subconsciously, aspire for recognition/credit, whether deserved or not.
Factor #3--Like other members have pointed-out, small/medium companies don't tolerate lack or bad performance for long [not that large/big Companies do, but it takes a bit more time to realize this aspect before action is taken, due to the processes & hierarchy involved]. The very fact that she has been here for 7 yrs surely points to some effective aspects that the boss likes in her........at least from the Company's perspective.
And your usage of words like 'so rude', misbehaving', etc--it would have been good had you given specific examples. That would have put the issue you raised under clear focus....since such generic words are always open to interpretation.
And I would suggest NEVER take judgement calls based on 'hearsay'--what other employees say may be based on THEIR experiences of the individual. But YOUR experience COULD be different.
Coming to the options open to you--
1] Like Nathrao suggested, just interact with her to-the-point & just on a official-level.
2] The next thing you could do is to keep your focus on your responsibilities & SHOW you mettle.....this would take time before your boss begins to recognize your worth. But that's the only way to do it......just DON'T look for shortcuts [chances are you would fall flat on your face, even though shortcuts CAN bring you short-term results].
3] In situations/issues where YOUR job depends on this lady's work too, try to put things in-writing, so that there's no scope for any hanky-panky later--meaning cover your position in such situations.
4] MORE importantly, LEARN from this on how to handle different kind of people--that's what, after all, experience is all about. And being in HR, it is NOT an option for you. it's a necessity.
After all the above, IN CASE you were looking for suggestions from the members on 'ways to hit/get back @ her', then pl IGNORE this posting. It's meant for your long-term interest.
All the Best.
Rgds,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
I am not sure of your experience level.
But being in HR, I am sure you would know......or at the very least have observed.........that the Reference Points of judging or forming opinion of people depend on many factors.....and also keep varying along time. And this has NOTHING to do with HR per-se--it's plain human psychology, whether @ office or personal situations [who would YOU give more weightage to, at least initially.......a 3 months old friendship or a 7 yrs-old friendship?].
Here you have this lady who has been working since 7 yrs & you joined 3 months back. That's Factor #1--IF you were in the boss's positions, WHOM would you give more weightage?
Next coming to Factor #2--she's working in the Reception. You are the First HR person to join. Who was handling.....EVEN IF informally.......the HR function so far? My bet is that this lady would have been handling.........at least a major chunk of the running-around activities. Now IF you were this Lady, how would you respond/react IF someone came & (in your view) took-over some of your responsibilities--and consequently the credit--from you & you are left with minor jobs like Reception, etc? Irrespective of the level or designation or salary, most people, subconsciously, aspire for recognition/credit, whether deserved or not.
Factor #3--Like other members have pointed-out, small/medium companies don't tolerate lack or bad performance for long [not that large/big Companies do, but it takes a bit more time to realize this aspect before action is taken, due to the processes & hierarchy involved]. The very fact that she has been here for 7 yrs surely points to some effective aspects that the boss likes in her........at least from the Company's perspective.
And your usage of words like 'so rude', misbehaving', etc--it would have been good had you given specific examples. That would have put the issue you raised under clear focus....since such generic words are always open to interpretation.
And I would suggest NEVER take judgement calls based on 'hearsay'--what other employees say may be based on THEIR experiences of the individual. But YOUR experience COULD be different.
Coming to the options open to you--
1] Like Nathrao suggested, just interact with her to-the-point & just on a official-level.
2] The next thing you could do is to keep your focus on your responsibilities & SHOW you mettle.....this would take time before your boss begins to recognize your worth. But that's the only way to do it......just DON'T look for shortcuts [chances are you would fall flat on your face, even though shortcuts CAN bring you short-term results].
3] In situations/issues where YOUR job depends on this lady's work too, try to put things in-writing, so that there's no scope for any hanky-panky later--meaning cover your position in such situations.
4] MORE importantly, LEARN from this on how to handle different kind of people--that's what, after all, experience is all about. And being in HR, it is NOT an option for you. it's a necessity.
After all the above, IN CASE you were looking for suggestions from the members on 'ways to hit/get back @ her', then pl IGNORE this posting. It's meant for your long-term interest.
All the Best.
Rgds,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
Dear Raj Kumar.
A clear message you have given to new comers to HR field. Most new comers are not aware of their responsibility but want to show their power only. And not aware of the basic principles of HR management. A very good reply. really appreciated.
From India, Calicut
A clear message you have given to new comers to HR field. Most new comers are not aware of their responsibility but want to show their power only. And not aware of the basic principles of HR management. A very good reply. really appreciated.
From India, Calicut
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From India, undefined
From India, undefined
It took me some time understand your writing first ! You said you are in HR department. I am sure you would have done your graduation plus a PG in HR. Cant you not write simple English sentences, with capital letters, punctuation marks etc. It will be a torture for somebody to read, understand and advice you. I really appreciate the patience of all those before me, who have responded to you. There is something called communication etiquette - what to write and how to write.... In the twelve lines I see here, I could manage to find out one full stop ! You cannot assume that all those who are reading your postings are jobless or sitting idle. Please do not make our life miserable..
Best wishes
From India
Best wishes
From India
Sir, I appreciate the views of Sh. N.K.Sundram ji as above. Since some times, I also feel that some new participants, may be deliberately starting new threads and asking such questions in order to test not only our knowledge, experience, but also english grammar and punctuation etc. Some even do not mention their names and write as anonymous. Perhaps Admn of this citeHR will take care of such matters.
From India, Noida
From India, Noida
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