dear shekhar where are you from ,since you mentioned telgu i assume hyd if so u can contact me since ur a fellow citehrian consider dont let any aprehensions deter u take care
From India, Hyderabad
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45From India, Hyderabad
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Your problem is not unique. Welcome to the Human Race. There are many who undergo this. I must congratulate you on accepting it and also being willing to change it. It can be changed. I am a Clinical Hypnotherapist. It is a field that is alike but may be a little beyond usual psychiatry.
For information about hypnotherapy, read FAQs on my website Jeevan Maggic. You need proper therapy for this, and it can be healed. Please locate a qualified Hypnotherapist near your place, or you may email me directly at
. We will find the way out.
Take care. You are one among the many. Have confidence that you will be completely alright. God bless you!
From India, Ahmadabad
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For information about hypnotherapy, read FAQs on my website Jeevan Maggic. You need proper therapy for this, and it can be healed. Please locate a qualified Hypnotherapist near your place, or you may email me directly at
Take care. You are one among the many. Have confidence that you will be completely alright. God bless you!
From India, Ahmadabad
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Shri Shekhar,
Your journey into self-exploration has begun while posting your personal issue here, unloading yourself with trust in others and seeking constructive help for your consideration, which shows your inner courage and willingness to overcome the hidden issues.
You mentioned Telugu medium, to which you perhaps attach an inferior meaning in terms of the cultural identity crisis. Maybe you come from a humble family or interior Andhra culture where perhaps your family members do not prefer to speak English or other Indian languages like Hindi, etc. Perhaps, shake the self-bias towards the Telugu identity and feel for yourself the greatness of the Andhra history and culture and its achievements and contributions to the nation, including the great Andhra leaders.
Maybe you consider yourself straightforward and honest, not conducive to political cultures. Be yourself and use this as your strength. Speak the way you feel about things politely without hurting or disturbing people, making your point with a sense of honesty, generating genuine debate without any sense of gaining or losing any points for yourself with an open mind. Be aware of your other personal strengths in terms of qualifications, intelligence, etc., without arrogance and false pride.
It seems you are obsessed with your sense of identity, disturbing your sleep and thinking all the while, even while driving, wondering how you would cope with the issues of the day, coordinating with the people around, and feeling smart and successful like others, and afraid others could overpower you. Identify the issues before you start, note your points of view, decide whom you will consult or seek help from, and forget while driving. Enjoy the drive, trusting people around you and having faith in God. Learn to take things as they unfold rather than with a predestined expectation of what should happen or not happen. Learn to deal with things as they happen, applying your strengths and utilizing the available resources around you. Note down the agenda for the next day before you sleep and leave this on the piece of paper/diary. Just go to sleep without dwelling on the agenda repeatedly, trusting that your mind has the capacity to cope up the next day. Practice, and things could improve day by day.
Do not be too soft on yourself or feel sorry for yourself for anything that is part of your personality build-up over the years nagging you in the mind. Nor blame any event or person for your state of affairs. Peel off any reasons that make you feel inferior or non-confident, or acknowledge the reasons rationally without self-sympathy. Go back to the root causes of why you think you are the way you are. Having done the analysis and discovered yourself, leave the reasons there. Just be aware but not subconsciously obsessed.
Share your issues with family members, friends, relatives, colleagues whom you can fairly trust. Enable them to help you understand your problem and the possible alternatives available to effectively deal with the inner issues.
Have a role model with a humble background who has risen above being a self-made leader of the self and leader of the people, historical or alive. See how they handle their issues or speak to others or in public.
Be a successful software professional, being hard on yourself with self-confidence. Learn the knowledge and skills that will make you more confident, including successful interpersonal and personal effectiveness skills. You may read simple books with relevant tips.
In case working with people around is indeed difficult, choose a job where you can work more individually with minimum possible public interaction. If that is so, without regretting for yourself, where you can be your own master - a designer, research person, professor/teacher, trainer where you can feel the power within while dealing with people from a position of personal merit, unfolding your expertise rather than depending much on coordination with others.
Hope the above tips would make some meaning for you and would be handy in helping yourself. If needed, visit a psychologist or seek help from your trusted HR friend/trainer if possible. Feel proud of yourself and your culture and language and humble background if so, taking this as a take-off point rather than a source of personal agony. Sing a bold Telugu song for yourself.
Ham honge kaamyaab ek din!
We shall overcome someday!
With congratulations for this thread, thanks for allowing me to share my unfolding thoughts, and with best wishes for your personal success in life at all fronts at home, work, society while feeling good about yourself all the time - please acknowledge!
Regards,
Kshantaram
Email: shantaramkhrd@yahoo.co.uk
From India, Ahmadabad
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Your journey into self-exploration has begun while posting your personal issue here, unloading yourself with trust in others and seeking constructive help for your consideration, which shows your inner courage and willingness to overcome the hidden issues.
You mentioned Telugu medium, to which you perhaps attach an inferior meaning in terms of the cultural identity crisis. Maybe you come from a humble family or interior Andhra culture where perhaps your family members do not prefer to speak English or other Indian languages like Hindi, etc. Perhaps, shake the self-bias towards the Telugu identity and feel for yourself the greatness of the Andhra history and culture and its achievements and contributions to the nation, including the great Andhra leaders.
Maybe you consider yourself straightforward and honest, not conducive to political cultures. Be yourself and use this as your strength. Speak the way you feel about things politely without hurting or disturbing people, making your point with a sense of honesty, generating genuine debate without any sense of gaining or losing any points for yourself with an open mind. Be aware of your other personal strengths in terms of qualifications, intelligence, etc., without arrogance and false pride.
It seems you are obsessed with your sense of identity, disturbing your sleep and thinking all the while, even while driving, wondering how you would cope with the issues of the day, coordinating with the people around, and feeling smart and successful like others, and afraid others could overpower you. Identify the issues before you start, note your points of view, decide whom you will consult or seek help from, and forget while driving. Enjoy the drive, trusting people around you and having faith in God. Learn to take things as they unfold rather than with a predestined expectation of what should happen or not happen. Learn to deal with things as they happen, applying your strengths and utilizing the available resources around you. Note down the agenda for the next day before you sleep and leave this on the piece of paper/diary. Just go to sleep without dwelling on the agenda repeatedly, trusting that your mind has the capacity to cope up the next day. Practice, and things could improve day by day.
Do not be too soft on yourself or feel sorry for yourself for anything that is part of your personality build-up over the years nagging you in the mind. Nor blame any event or person for your state of affairs. Peel off any reasons that make you feel inferior or non-confident, or acknowledge the reasons rationally without self-sympathy. Go back to the root causes of why you think you are the way you are. Having done the analysis and discovered yourself, leave the reasons there. Just be aware but not subconsciously obsessed.
Share your issues with family members, friends, relatives, colleagues whom you can fairly trust. Enable them to help you understand your problem and the possible alternatives available to effectively deal with the inner issues.
Have a role model with a humble background who has risen above being a self-made leader of the self and leader of the people, historical or alive. See how they handle their issues or speak to others or in public.
Be a successful software professional, being hard on yourself with self-confidence. Learn the knowledge and skills that will make you more confident, including successful interpersonal and personal effectiveness skills. You may read simple books with relevant tips.
In case working with people around is indeed difficult, choose a job where you can work more individually with minimum possible public interaction. If that is so, without regretting for yourself, where you can be your own master - a designer, research person, professor/teacher, trainer where you can feel the power within while dealing with people from a position of personal merit, unfolding your expertise rather than depending much on coordination with others.
Hope the above tips would make some meaning for you and would be handy in helping yourself. If needed, visit a psychologist or seek help from your trusted HR friend/trainer if possible. Feel proud of yourself and your culture and language and humble background if so, taking this as a take-off point rather than a source of personal agony. Sing a bold Telugu song for yourself.
Ham honge kaamyaab ek din!
We shall overcome someday!
With congratulations for this thread, thanks for allowing me to share my unfolding thoughts, and with best wishes for your personal success in life at all fronts at home, work, society while feeling good about yourself all the time - please acknowledge!
Regards,
Kshantaram
Email: shantaramkhrd@yahoo.co.uk
From India, Ahmadabad
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Even I have gone through such a phase. Now I stand tall and confident. An extremely shy and weak person converted into a strong motivator and a trainer.
Your problem is not a big problem; it can be solved easily. You suffer from inferiority complex and low self-esteem.
To get rid of this, you need to do two exercises: Goal Setting and SWOT Analysis. Also, run a Johari Window on yourself. Enroll in a Public Speaking class or Toastmasters Club. Part of your problem is due to studying in a Telugu medium and the environment around you. Believe me, for all your problems, originally you are NOT responsible, but now you have to take responsibility.
You do not need a Psychiatrist at this level.
Now let me tell you some strong positive points about yourself, which you have been ignoring as if they are not there.
1. You are writing this in a public forum. This requires a lot of courage. So, inside you is a courageous person.
2. You are a progress-oriented person and ready to embrace change. Not many people have this quality.
3. You are very good in your technical knowledge domain.
4. You are a good observer and listener.
5. At heart, you are a nice, honest person who wants others' welfare. You will not cheat others for your small gains.
6. You speak the truth.
7. Your nervousness is your greatest asset. Learn to use it for a positive purpose. When you are nervous, there is extraordinary energy in your body and your mind is alert. That's useful for doing important tasks. That means you are capable of taking on higher responsibilities.
8. To some extent, everyone goes through this. They hide. You don't because you are honest.
STOP worrying. START communicating with people. Share your knowledge with them. Help people as much as you can even before they ask for it. Very soon, you will be surrounded by friends.
Good luck to you.
And yes, finally, when you achieve success, please remember friends like me.
From India, Mumbai
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Your problem is not a big problem; it can be solved easily. You suffer from inferiority complex and low self-esteem.
To get rid of this, you need to do two exercises: Goal Setting and SWOT Analysis. Also, run a Johari Window on yourself. Enroll in a Public Speaking class or Toastmasters Club. Part of your problem is due to studying in a Telugu medium and the environment around you. Believe me, for all your problems, originally you are NOT responsible, but now you have to take responsibility.
You do not need a Psychiatrist at this level.
Now let me tell you some strong positive points about yourself, which you have been ignoring as if they are not there.
1. You are writing this in a public forum. This requires a lot of courage. So, inside you is a courageous person.
2. You are a progress-oriented person and ready to embrace change. Not many people have this quality.
3. You are very good in your technical knowledge domain.
4. You are a good observer and listener.
5. At heart, you are a nice, honest person who wants others' welfare. You will not cheat others for your small gains.
6. You speak the truth.
7. Your nervousness is your greatest asset. Learn to use it for a positive purpose. When you are nervous, there is extraordinary energy in your body and your mind is alert. That's useful for doing important tasks. That means you are capable of taking on higher responsibilities.
8. To some extent, everyone goes through this. They hide. You don't because you are honest.
STOP worrying. START communicating with people. Share your knowledge with them. Help people as much as you can even before they ask for it. Very soon, you will be surrounded by friends.
Good luck to you.
And yes, finally, when you achieve success, please remember friends like me.
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Sekhar,
In addition to my previous suggestion, in order to identify your problem, you may want to read a set of articles provided in the attached document. The articles focus on the fears, anxieties, and phobias that a person typically experiences. All relevant references, sources, and links have been included with each article if you wish to review the original articles on their respective sites.
This may help you understand the actual issue and seek proper remedies.
P S Dhingra
Vigilance & Management Consultant
Dhingra Consultancy Group
New Delhi
From India, Delhi
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In addition to my previous suggestion, in order to identify your problem, you may want to read a set of articles provided in the attached document. The articles focus on the fears, anxieties, and phobias that a person typically experiences. All relevant references, sources, and links have been included with each article if you wish to review the original articles on their respective sites.
This may help you understand the actual issue and seek proper remedies.
P S Dhingra
Vigilance & Management Consultant
Dhingra Consultancy Group
New Delhi
From India, Delhi
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Hi, don't worry. Firstly, it's not an uncommon thing. I can see that you have been given some good advice. I would like to add that self-affirmation is a great technique to overcome any fear. Before speaking, just tell yourself positive things like "I enjoy speaking to others," "I am a confident person," and practice in front of a mirror before every public speech. All the best.
From India, Pune
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From India, Pune
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You need constant mentoring and not mere tips. I also had a similar problem in my school and college days. No tips and advice helped me, however good it sounded. Then one fine day, I met someone who made me work on it and led me by example.
We can discuss further if you are really interested in working on it... Biswabhushan Behera 9829989064
From India, Delhi
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We can discuss further if you are really interested in working on it... Biswabhushan Behera 9829989064
From India, Delhi
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Dear Sekhar,
I am a handwriting analyst by profession. I can help you after going through your handwriting. But for that, you need to send us your handwritten samples. Also, please go through the attached presentation.
Remember, "Thought is supreme" and always "Be positive." Additionally, please visit sites like robinsharma.com for more insights.
Regards,
Sheel
Handwriting Analyst
9833589787
From India, Kalyan
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I am a handwriting analyst by profession. I can help you after going through your handwriting. But for that, you need to send us your handwritten samples. Also, please go through the attached presentation.
Remember, "Thought is supreme" and always "Be positive." Additionally, please visit sites like robinsharma.com for more insights.
Regards,
Sheel
Handwriting Analyst
9833589787
From India, Kalyan
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