Hi all,
I need help from you all. I am experiencing a lot of fear when speaking with new people, in a group, or in public places. I am always nervous and constantly thinking about something, even while driving. My sleep is disturbed daily.
I am originally from a Telugu medium background and currently working as a software professional.
Please suggest some solutions.
Thanks
From India, Bangalore
1I need help from you all. I am experiencing a lot of fear when speaking with new people, in a group, or in public places. I am always nervous and constantly thinking about something, even while driving. My sleep is disturbed daily.
I am originally from a Telugu medium background and currently working as a software professional.
Please suggest some solutions.
Thanks
From India, Bangalore
Dear Sekhar,
Anybody can offer you one or two tips, but whether they will be workable or not depends on the complete details you provide. In fact, you need the help of a psychologist to whom you should provide complete details based on his/her questions for analysis. This analysis will suggest a way out based on your responses. It may be due to some inferiority complex within you that can be easily overcome with the assistance of a psychologist or psychiatrist.
I must advise you not to rely on trial and error methods.
Best wishes,
P S Dhingra
Vigilance & Management Consultant
Dhingra Consultancy Group
New Delhi
From India, Delhi
Anybody can offer you one or two tips, but whether they will be workable or not depends on the complete details you provide. In fact, you need the help of a psychologist to whom you should provide complete details based on his/her questions for analysis. This analysis will suggest a way out based on your responses. It may be due to some inferiority complex within you that can be easily overcome with the assistance of a psychologist or psychiatrist.
I must advise you not to rely on trial and error methods.
Best wishes,
P S Dhingra
Vigilance & Management Consultant
Dhingra Consultancy Group
New Delhi
From India, Delhi
Don't drop your heart, buddy. Your hesitation can only be cured if you keep on trying. Have confidence in yourself and see if you can join any personality development course (these are very short-term courses, 2 to 3 weeks, and can definitely help). Keep your head high and rock the world!
Dear Sekhar,
When you have faith and confidence in yourself, you will do more and attempt to do more. I suggest some tips on how to build confidence and courage. I have also attached two books: "Inferiority Complex and Self-Image" and "Fearlessly Communicating and Talking with Confidence." Please go through them. I am sure they will prove fruitful for you. Provide me your feedback after reading them.
1. Prepare thoroughly. Prepare the message of your speech thoroughly. Know exactly what you want to convey to your audience and why. Knowing the purpose of your speech will help focus and organize your thoughts, allowing you to be relaxed when it comes time to make your presentation.
2. Wear something appropriate and comfortable for the occasion. When you look good or know you look good, you tend to feel good. When you are less self-conscious, you tend to be more at ease. The way we look somehow affects the way we feel. Of course, don't forget proper grooming.
3. Be convinced that what you have to say matters. Be convinced of the importance of your message. Doing this will put you at ease and make you appear more confident and congruent.
4. Put yourself in a "confident" state. There are many ways to do this. One of the best ways is to "act as if" you were already confident. Walk and talk the way you would if you were already extremely confident. Sometimes, it helps to ask yourself questions like: "How would I feel right now if I were absolutely confident?" "How would I breathe?" "How would I stand?" "How would I walk?" "How would I talk?" Another excellent way is to imagine a time when you were completely confident, then bring that feeling to the present moment and speak/present while in that state.
5. Keep your attention/focus away from yourself at all costs. In other words, avoid being self-conscious at all costs because self-consciousness is one of the biggest causes of nervousness. Focus instead on the message you want to convey to your audience and why you are speaking to them.
6. Breathe naturally and in a relaxed manner.
7. Speak as if you were speaking to a close friend or loved one in a conversational manner.
8. Always remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes.
9. Avoid the need to gain approval.
10. Trust in the power of your mind, specifically your subconscious mind. Trust that it will deliver the right words at the right time.
11. Trust that you can handle whatever comes your way.
Thank you.
From India, Mumbai
When you have faith and confidence in yourself, you will do more and attempt to do more. I suggest some tips on how to build confidence and courage. I have also attached two books: "Inferiority Complex and Self-Image" and "Fearlessly Communicating and Talking with Confidence." Please go through them. I am sure they will prove fruitful for you. Provide me your feedback after reading them.
1. Prepare thoroughly. Prepare the message of your speech thoroughly. Know exactly what you want to convey to your audience and why. Knowing the purpose of your speech will help focus and organize your thoughts, allowing you to be relaxed when it comes time to make your presentation.
2. Wear something appropriate and comfortable for the occasion. When you look good or know you look good, you tend to feel good. When you are less self-conscious, you tend to be more at ease. The way we look somehow affects the way we feel. Of course, don't forget proper grooming.
3. Be convinced that what you have to say matters. Be convinced of the importance of your message. Doing this will put you at ease and make you appear more confident and congruent.
4. Put yourself in a "confident" state. There are many ways to do this. One of the best ways is to "act as if" you were already confident. Walk and talk the way you would if you were already extremely confident. Sometimes, it helps to ask yourself questions like: "How would I feel right now if I were absolutely confident?" "How would I breathe?" "How would I stand?" "How would I walk?" "How would I talk?" Another excellent way is to imagine a time when you were completely confident, then bring that feeling to the present moment and speak/present while in that state.
5. Keep your attention/focus away from yourself at all costs. In other words, avoid being self-conscious at all costs because self-consciousness is one of the biggest causes of nervousness. Focus instead on the message you want to convey to your audience and why you are speaking to them.
6. Breathe naturally and in a relaxed manner.
7. Speak as if you were speaking to a close friend or loved one in a conversational manner.
8. Always remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes.
9. Avoid the need to gain approval.
10. Trust in the power of your mind, specifically your subconscious mind. Trust that it will deliver the right words at the right time.
11. Trust that you can handle whatever comes your way.
Thank you.
From India, Mumbai
First of all, I would like to congratulate you for admitting to everyone (even if online) that you have this problem. This shows a great deal of courage and bravery on your part.
Then, I would suggest that if you have access to a PC, you visit this website where they can certainly help you: [Meditainment - Deep Relaxation by Guided Meditation](http://www.meditainment.com/), and the reason that I know they can help you is that they helped me.
I had a very similar problem for 12 years after being kidnapped, beaten, and tortured by rebels in former Yugoslavia while serving there with the UN. I can assure you that it will go away, but you must take the time to go inside yourself and find that perfect inner peace sanctuary deep within you.
This is where this website comes in. There are a great deal of things on this website that are free for you to use, search around and find the one that you feel drawn to because deep within you already know the answer to this problem and you just need to be reminded of what it is.
Only you can do this and no one else! You are a very brave person for asking for the help you need in this way! Well done!
I wish you all the very best and good luck. Have faith in yourself and reach for the sky, Aim for the stars no matter how high. Just follow your dreams, they're waiting for you, And you're the one who'll make them come true!
From United Kingdom
Then, I would suggest that if you have access to a PC, you visit this website where they can certainly help you: [Meditainment - Deep Relaxation by Guided Meditation](http://www.meditainment.com/), and the reason that I know they can help you is that they helped me.
I had a very similar problem for 12 years after being kidnapped, beaten, and tortured by rebels in former Yugoslavia while serving there with the UN. I can assure you that it will go away, but you must take the time to go inside yourself and find that perfect inner peace sanctuary deep within you.
This is where this website comes in. There are a great deal of things on this website that are free for you to use, search around and find the one that you feel drawn to because deep within you already know the answer to this problem and you just need to be reminded of what it is.
Only you can do this and no one else! You are a very brave person for asking for the help you need in this way! Well done!
I wish you all the very best and good luck. Have faith in yourself and reach for the sky, Aim for the stars no matter how high. Just follow your dreams, they're waiting for you, And you're the one who'll make them come true!
From United Kingdom
Yes, it is great that you are admitting the problem you have. I am sure you would have gone for counseling. Indeed, yoga can help you. Please learn any system - either raja yoga or buy some standard books on yoga like "Light on Yoga" by BKS Iyengar and start practicing. The best way is to accept the limitation and tell yourself that you are going to get over it. Remember the precious life we have, a time span, and we are to achieve both within and live a successful life in the world also. The former is the primary aim yoga declares, which means realizing the peace and bliss within. All the outside world thus becomes secondary, and here karma yoga stands as "Do your duty and leave the rest to God. Never expect the fruits of your labor." Wish you all the best. India is a spiritually rich country, and being born in this soil, you should stand up and face the problems boldly. Read books by Swami Vivekananda and follow the scriptures. God bless you.
From India, Tiruchchirappalli
From India, Tiruchchirappalli
The fear of public speaking is that you may be executing it for the first time. The only thing which will take you past is your courage. "Courage is not only about standing and speaking but sitting down and listening." Whenever you have to deliver anything publicly, do place yourself in the comfort zone. Just have your breathing controlled, so it looks to the public that you are confident (even if you are not). And before going to deliver a speech, find a place where there's no one around and shout aloud; it will help you relieve your tension (it sounds crazy but it works).
From India, Ludhiana
From India, Ludhiana
Hi,
You need to do some homework. Read newspapers aloud, speak in front of the mirror, and converse with your friends informally. Treat everyone as a friend and speak to them naturally. This will help you overcome fear and nervousness. Additionally, practice simple meditation techniques.
From India, Bangalore
You need to do some homework. Read newspapers aloud, speak in front of the mirror, and converse with your friends informally. Treat everyone as a friend and speak to them naturally. This will help you overcome fear and nervousness. Additionally, practice simple meditation techniques.
From India, Bangalore
I agree with P S Dhingra, sir. I will suggest the same, but don't you think that I have been advised to visit a psychologist and I have some complex in me. Nothing is like that. But it is the safest and ensured way to cure all these minor things. So without any hesitation, kindly consult with a doctor, and you will see the change within a short span. Don't worry. Be happy. These things are not too much to worry about.
Regards.
From India, Nasik
Regards.
From India, Nasik
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