Hi, I am 34 years old and working in an MNC. I came from a very low job profile to this extent. I have no issues talking over the phone or in a conference.
I am experiencing stage fear when I need to talk in a very small or large crowd, especially in a conference room. During such times, I am unable to express my complete thoughts and become extremely nervous.
I have tried many ways to overcome this, such as taking deep breaths, drinking enough water before the meeting starts, practicing in front of a mirror in a separate room, and rehearsing my speech in front of my wife. However, all my efforts fail when I face a large or even a small crowd, especially in situations where I need to speak.
This stage fear and difficulty in speaking in crowds or meetings have been a problem for me since childhood, perhaps starting from my school days. I have always been afraid, even when talking to teachers during my childhood. I am not sure whether to blame the school I attended.
I want to completely recover from this fear. Please suggest the best ways that I can sincerely follow. Should I contact a psychiatrist for help, or should I attend intensive fear management training classes? What should I do, considering that this fear has been with me since birth?
Please help me overcome this with your sincere advice.
Thanks,
S. Kumar
From India
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I am experiencing stage fear when I need to talk in a very small or large crowd, especially in a conference room. During such times, I am unable to express my complete thoughts and become extremely nervous.
I have tried many ways to overcome this, such as taking deep breaths, drinking enough water before the meeting starts, practicing in front of a mirror in a separate room, and rehearsing my speech in front of my wife. However, all my efforts fail when I face a large or even a small crowd, especially in situations where I need to speak.
This stage fear and difficulty in speaking in crowds or meetings have been a problem for me since childhood, perhaps starting from my school days. I have always been afraid, even when talking to teachers during my childhood. I am not sure whether to blame the school I attended.
I want to completely recover from this fear. Please suggest the best ways that I can sincerely follow. Should I contact a psychiatrist for help, or should I attend intensive fear management training classes? What should I do, considering that this fear has been with me since birth?
Please help me overcome this with your sincere advice.
Thanks,
S. Kumar
From India
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Dear Sir,
Please do not rate yourself so low. You know when William Shakespeare was called on stage for the first time, he spoke only 14 words. It seems you have much more potential than him. Please try to overcome this by seeking help from a mirror, your family, or friends. Training classes may not be feasible for this.
You know, when I passed my school, I wasn't able to speak a single word in English. But I tried hard to get rid of this, and finally, I can now answer in English. Please be confident. Know your skills. I hope you will improve very soon. My best wishes are with you.
Regards,
Vipin 🌟🌟
From India, New Delhi
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32Please do not rate yourself so low. You know when William Shakespeare was called on stage for the first time, he spoke only 14 words. It seems you have much more potential than him. Please try to overcome this by seeking help from a mirror, your family, or friends. Training classes may not be feasible for this.
You know, when I passed my school, I wasn't able to speak a single word in English. But I tried hard to get rid of this, and finally, I can now answer in English. Please be confident. Know your skills. I hope you will improve very soon. My best wishes are with you.
Regards,
Vipin 🌟🌟
From India, New Delhi
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Dear Sir,
Please do not rate yourself so low. You know, when William Shakespeare was called on stage for the first time, he spoke only 14 words. It seems you have much more potential than him. Please try to overcome it by taking the help of a mirror or seeking assistance from family or friends. Because training classes may not be feasible for this.
You know, when I passed my school, I wasn't able to speak a single word in English. But I tried hard to get rid of this, and finally, I can now answer in English. Please be confident. Know your skills. I hope you will improve very soon. My best wishes are with you.
Regards,
Vipin :icon1::icon1:
From India, New Delhi
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Please do not rate yourself so low. You know, when William Shakespeare was called on stage for the first time, he spoke only 14 words. It seems you have much more potential than him. Please try to overcome it by taking the help of a mirror or seeking assistance from family or friends. Because training classes may not be feasible for this.
You know, when I passed my school, I wasn't able to speak a single word in English. But I tried hard to get rid of this, and finally, I can now answer in English. Please be confident. Know your skills. I hope you will improve very soon. My best wishes are with you.
Regards,
Vipin :icon1::icon1:
From India, New Delhi
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Immediate and Quick Way -
Focus on your boss.
Talk to your boss or a close friend directly in a conference meeting, making eye contact for the next two to three conferences. By the fourth conference, your focus will shift away from your boss or close friend as questions will come from every corner. By that time, you will have gained confidence in the conference. Things improve with practice.
I have been a trainer for 6-7 years now, and I still get excited when I see a crowd. I can boldly say I experience stage fright. However, once I begin, my focus shifts from the crowd to my delivery and the impact of my message.
Select 5-10 people whom you want to impress in the conference and concentrate on your delivery to leave a lasting impression on them, as if you are speaking directly to them. This approach will help you overcome your anxiety.
Most importantly, never hide if you are feeling scared, excited, or disconnected. If someone interrupts your flow, address them by name and humorously mention that they disrupted your train of thought. If you are nervous, acknowledge it at the outset by saying, "Yes, I am nervous, and please excuse any trembling." Even if you do feel shaky, it will appear normal to others.
From India, Madras
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Focus on your boss.
Talk to your boss or a close friend directly in a conference meeting, making eye contact for the next two to three conferences. By the fourth conference, your focus will shift away from your boss or close friend as questions will come from every corner. By that time, you will have gained confidence in the conference. Things improve with practice.
I have been a trainer for 6-7 years now, and I still get excited when I see a crowd. I can boldly say I experience stage fright. However, once I begin, my focus shifts from the crowd to my delivery and the impact of my message.
Select 5-10 people whom you want to impress in the conference and concentrate on your delivery to leave a lasting impression on them, as if you are speaking directly to them. This approach will help you overcome your anxiety.
Most importantly, never hide if you are feeling scared, excited, or disconnected. If someone interrupts your flow, address them by name and humorously mention that they disrupted your train of thought. If you are nervous, acknowledge it at the outset by saying, "Yes, I am nervous, and please excuse any trembling." Even if you do feel shaky, it will appear normal to others.
From India, Madras
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M r. Jalasayanan, I liked your tips to become true about our weaknesses, it really works and converts your weaknesses to strengths. VK
From India, Indore
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From India, Indore
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Hi Kumar,
Everyone of us has stage fright. It's always controlled. As Vipin has said, never underestimate yourself, dear friend. Nobody is a born speaker, neither born great. So here you go, you know you are your own psychiatrist because you know yourself better than others do.
In fact, you are already doing half of what is needed (all those pre-preparation stuff you have mentioned above, good, keep it up and keep going the same way). Now, this is what you can try before the beginning of your presentation/speech (since it's at your workplace):
(Shhhhhh...come closer, wanna whisper a secret...you know what, Kumar, I have observed these trainers closely during my trainings at my workplace...this is what they do...)
1. Adding to the above said, just keep visualizing yourself delivering the presentation/speech from the previous day. Imagine that you are chatting there with them, comfort yourself.
Before you go, just ask yourself, who in that entire group knows what you are going to say? The answer would be "no."
2. Now that you know the material/content, get familiar with the audience/room/conference hall. Reach before others could arrive. Just relax there, go around the room, drink water if needed, sing a song or hum a little to yourself, speak to people who arrive early there, watch things around you. It might even help you to give an opening. Try to create a rapport.
3. Once you have started, get personal now. You can start with jokes related to your content/presentation/current situation/a friendly question, e.g., is everybody doing/present here good, etc. (never apologize for your nervousness). If you tremble, stand beside a table, chair, or magnetic board in the beginning. Once a friendly atmosphere is felt, start walking around. (Hey, don't forget to check your A/V equipment).
4. Make every possible eye contact. Consider the group to be one person. Just think of the ways you can gain their eye contact/attention when you deliver the content. This way, the size of the audience is shrunk, so it will be like a chat for you.
So, friend, next time, apart from all the preparations, say to yourself, "I WILL GO OUT THERE AND HAVE FUN. I WILL GIVE MY BEST." You know your fears will automatically change into your positive strengths. Once you are out there, you will be at ease.
Hope this is of some help to you. GO OUT, DO ALL THAT YOU CAN, BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO IMPRESS THEM, KUMAR!
From India, Mumbai
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Everyone of us has stage fright. It's always controlled. As Vipin has said, never underestimate yourself, dear friend. Nobody is a born speaker, neither born great. So here you go, you know you are your own psychiatrist because you know yourself better than others do.
In fact, you are already doing half of what is needed (all those pre-preparation stuff you have mentioned above, good, keep it up and keep going the same way). Now, this is what you can try before the beginning of your presentation/speech (since it's at your workplace):
(Shhhhhh...come closer, wanna whisper a secret...you know what, Kumar, I have observed these trainers closely during my trainings at my workplace...this is what they do...)
1. Adding to the above said, just keep visualizing yourself delivering the presentation/speech from the previous day. Imagine that you are chatting there with them, comfort yourself.
Before you go, just ask yourself, who in that entire group knows what you are going to say? The answer would be "no."
2. Now that you know the material/content, get familiar with the audience/room/conference hall. Reach before others could arrive. Just relax there, go around the room, drink water if needed, sing a song or hum a little to yourself, speak to people who arrive early there, watch things around you. It might even help you to give an opening. Try to create a rapport.
3. Once you have started, get personal now. You can start with jokes related to your content/presentation/current situation/a friendly question, e.g., is everybody doing/present here good, etc. (never apologize for your nervousness). If you tremble, stand beside a table, chair, or magnetic board in the beginning. Once a friendly atmosphere is felt, start walking around. (Hey, don't forget to check your A/V equipment).
4. Make every possible eye contact. Consider the group to be one person. Just think of the ways you can gain their eye contact/attention when you deliver the content. This way, the size of the audience is shrunk, so it will be like a chat for you.
So, friend, next time, apart from all the preparations, say to yourself, "I WILL GO OUT THERE AND HAVE FUN. I WILL GIVE MY BEST." You know your fears will automatically change into your positive strengths. Once you are out there, you will be at ease.
Hope this is of some help to you. GO OUT, DO ALL THAT YOU CAN, BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO IMPRESS THEM, KUMAR!
From India, Mumbai
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Hi,
Stage fright is common among most people. This can be overcome through various self-preparatory exercises.
1. Be confident and understand that you are the master of the topic you speak about on stage.
2. I suggest standing in front of a mirror and reading articles or newspapers for at least 15 to 30 minutes daily. This will help build your confidence. Stage fright is often a result of fear of your own voice in a closed auditorium.
3. Practice before stepping onto the stage.
Hope this advice helps you. Lastly, I recommend not letting your motivation wane, as it may diminish your presence in the group and lead to stage fright.
Regards, K. Jayavel
From India, Madras
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Stage fright is common among most people. This can be overcome through various self-preparatory exercises.
1. Be confident and understand that you are the master of the topic you speak about on stage.
2. I suggest standing in front of a mirror and reading articles or newspapers for at least 15 to 30 minutes daily. This will help build your confidence. Stage fright is often a result of fear of your own voice in a closed auditorium.
3. Practice before stepping onto the stage.
Hope this advice helps you. Lastly, I recommend not letting your motivation wane, as it may diminish your presence in the group and lead to stage fright.
Regards, K. Jayavel
From India, Madras
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Dear Jalasayanan Very good tips...hope this will resolve the problem...its nothing wrong to admit if you are weak in certain aspects.... Regards valli
From India, Bangalore
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From India, Bangalore
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Dear,
Be confident while doing things. Never try to impress anyone by your speech. Deliver your speech normally. As Jalasayan has quoted, please admit your weaknesses. That will help you out. Keep the concept in your mind and put it in your own words. Quote some examples along with that; it will help you deliver your speech confidently. Relax well before going to have a meeting with your team. Note all the topics that are to be discussed with your team members in the meeting; this will also help you out.
Regards,
Valli
From India, Bangalore
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Be confident while doing things. Never try to impress anyone by your speech. Deliver your speech normally. As Jalasayan has quoted, please admit your weaknesses. That will help you out. Keep the concept in your mind and put it in your own words. Quote some examples along with that; it will help you deliver your speech confidently. Relax well before going to have a meeting with your team. Note all the topics that are to be discussed with your team members in the meeting; this will also help you out.
Regards,
Valli
From India, Bangalore
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Hi Kumar,
I was jotting points in my mind to suggest... but after reading the last part of your statement - I felt it was more important to let you know that:
"This is not a grave failure that you have to consider a psychiatrist."
Do you know that people who understand that they have an area to improve and are open to listen - will emerge as true winners?
So - first - You have already succeeded in overcoming your fear by asking for help.
Now here is what I can suggest:
"You are your best critic". Stand in front of a mirror and start introducing yourself. Say about yourself, what you have achieved in 34 years, your family, your dreams. And when you are talking - see how confident you grow when you look into the eyes of the person in the mirror!
I know that the fear also lies in you when people are looking at you and only you. You think - what if I goof this? What if I don't communicate exactly what I want to?
Again - prepare much prior to the meeting and jot down major points. Talk to your critic in front of the mirror. Pre-invent questions that might pop up during the session and try answering them.
I suggest - read a lot so that you don't run short of words to express what you have. Not always I speak what I have prepared. Sometimes we have to speak on the spot what comes to mind. Read The Hindu Editorial. (it's good).
I had this issue earlier:
I tried speaking in front of my mom and dad - and you know what?
I realized that they are people who accept me the way I am, and so there is a confidence within me to talk loud and give the right gestures. And they - listen to me wholeheartedly.
When I talk to strangers - I find it difficult because I don't know them. And I don't know what they are thinking of me...
So - point noted here is: Introduce yourself well to the group much in advance and try getting to know more about the people in your group. Since it's at the workplace - you must have the chance to know everyone. So take time to talk to each of them, find out what kind of people they are and their views. This would help you face all of them during the meeting - because you are talking to people you know.
If it's a completely strange group - don't worry. Prepare a very good introductory statement about yourself. Make it a very interactive session and ask them their views. In that way - you alone don't talk, everyone talks.
And remember - be loud and clear with words.
"When I could do it, anyone can do it."
PS: If you were the audience, you will definitely not be interested in knowing how nervous I feel, but rather you will wait to see if I have a message to convey.
From India, Madras
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I was jotting points in my mind to suggest... but after reading the last part of your statement - I felt it was more important to let you know that:
"This is not a grave failure that you have to consider a psychiatrist."
Do you know that people who understand that they have an area to improve and are open to listen - will emerge as true winners?
So - first - You have already succeeded in overcoming your fear by asking for help.
Now here is what I can suggest:
"You are your best critic". Stand in front of a mirror and start introducing yourself. Say about yourself, what you have achieved in 34 years, your family, your dreams. And when you are talking - see how confident you grow when you look into the eyes of the person in the mirror!
I know that the fear also lies in you when people are looking at you and only you. You think - what if I goof this? What if I don't communicate exactly what I want to?
Again - prepare much prior to the meeting and jot down major points. Talk to your critic in front of the mirror. Pre-invent questions that might pop up during the session and try answering them.
I suggest - read a lot so that you don't run short of words to express what you have. Not always I speak what I have prepared. Sometimes we have to speak on the spot what comes to mind. Read The Hindu Editorial. (it's good).
I had this issue earlier:
I tried speaking in front of my mom and dad - and you know what?
I realized that they are people who accept me the way I am, and so there is a confidence within me to talk loud and give the right gestures. And they - listen to me wholeheartedly.
When I talk to strangers - I find it difficult because I don't know them. And I don't know what they are thinking of me...
So - point noted here is: Introduce yourself well to the group much in advance and try getting to know more about the people in your group. Since it's at the workplace - you must have the chance to know everyone. So take time to talk to each of them, find out what kind of people they are and their views. This would help you face all of them during the meeting - because you are talking to people you know.
If it's a completely strange group - don't worry. Prepare a very good introductory statement about yourself. Make it a very interactive session and ask them their views. In that way - you alone don't talk, everyone talks.
And remember - be loud and clear with words.
"When I could do it, anyone can do it."
PS: If you were the audience, you will definitely not be interested in knowing how nervous I feel, but rather you will wait to see if I have a message to convey.
From India, Madras
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