I am Akash, 25 years old. I have been facing a very big problem for the past 6 years. The thing is that whenever I have to do something in front of a group of people, I get nervous. I feel like I am alone and have to do it on my own. I am scared to face a group of people (it seems I am shy about it). I start thinking about running away from the stage. If anybody can give me a solution for this, I would be really thankful. :-x
From India, Bangalore
From India, Bangalore
Confidence is the only way to build yourself effectively. Read inspirational and motivation-related books. Keep reading as an important practice throughout your life. Updating knowledge and effective communication through eye-to-eye contact can help you feel at ease with stage fear.
Take care and all the best in your future endeavors. Hope to hear from you soon.
From India, Madras
Take care and all the best in your future endeavors. Hope to hear from you soon.
From India, Madras
Hi Akash, welcome to stage fear. This happens because you feel you are the center of attention. Just relax and speak/do as if you are interacting with your friend. If it's stage fear you are talking about, then the first thing is organizing your thoughts, controlling your breath, not cramming your lines but going with hints as you prepare. This will help if you are stuck with something. Never think that you are alone (it's the thought that clouds your mind). Make any opportunity that comes your way for demonstrating or speaking with people. Another way is practicing when you are at home (in your room) - looking at the mirror and developing yourself. I suggest you read Natalie Rogers' "Speak without Fear."
From India, Madras
From India, Madras
Akash,
The problem you are facing right now is a problem that a lot of people encounter when they have to do public speaking. I guess we have all faced this problem at least once in life and experienced nervousness at that time.
The first step to deal with it, as said by Jayaprakash, is to start having confidence in yourself. Just think that no matter how embarrassing or funny it may be, you have to overcome it.
Secondly, try to get a grip on English and Hindi by reading basic English books to start with, along with a good English newspaper. Read and try to understand them. Do the same with a Hindi newspaper.
Thirdly, read that newspaper out loud while standing in front of a mirror, imagining as if you are presenting to a group of people what is written in the newspaper.
If you have a group of friends or even your family members, tell them what you are trying to improve. Call 2-3 of them, have them sit in front of you, choose a topic related to your daily life (it can be as simple as what you did yesterday throughout the day), and present it as a speech in front of them. Do it maybe once a week if your friends have time and patience, or you can do it alone imagining you have an audience in front of you.
All the above-mentioned things might seem funny, and with friends, it might even be embarrassing, and they may laugh at you. But understand that's what you have to overcome, so keep doing it.
What I have mentioned above are simple things to start with that you can apply in your everyday life.
If you still think it is not enough or you are unable to do it, you can consider joining a Personality Grooming Class where they also teach public speaking.
Also, one thing I have noticed that reduces nervousness to some extent while speaking is not to have too much eye contact with people while speaking publicly. Keep looking at them but not for too long; try to keep your gaze moving from one person to another or perhaps looking at their heads, at the last row, at the front row. But don't follow this if someone is asking you something; then, surely look at them while answering.
I know it will take time for you to start applying all this, but still, Best of Luck :-)
From India, Delhi
The problem you are facing right now is a problem that a lot of people encounter when they have to do public speaking. I guess we have all faced this problem at least once in life and experienced nervousness at that time.
The first step to deal with it, as said by Jayaprakash, is to start having confidence in yourself. Just think that no matter how embarrassing or funny it may be, you have to overcome it.
Secondly, try to get a grip on English and Hindi by reading basic English books to start with, along with a good English newspaper. Read and try to understand them. Do the same with a Hindi newspaper.
Thirdly, read that newspaper out loud while standing in front of a mirror, imagining as if you are presenting to a group of people what is written in the newspaper.
If you have a group of friends or even your family members, tell them what you are trying to improve. Call 2-3 of them, have them sit in front of you, choose a topic related to your daily life (it can be as simple as what you did yesterday throughout the day), and present it as a speech in front of them. Do it maybe once a week if your friends have time and patience, or you can do it alone imagining you have an audience in front of you.
All the above-mentioned things might seem funny, and with friends, it might even be embarrassing, and they may laugh at you. But understand that's what you have to overcome, so keep doing it.
What I have mentioned above are simple things to start with that you can apply in your everyday life.
If you still think it is not enough or you are unable to do it, you can consider joining a Personality Grooming Class where they also teach public speaking.
Also, one thing I have noticed that reduces nervousness to some extent while speaking is not to have too much eye contact with people while speaking publicly. Keep looking at them but not for too long; try to keep your gaze moving from one person to another or perhaps looking at their heads, at the last row, at the front row. But don't follow this if someone is asking you something; then, surely look at them while answering.
I know it will take time for you to start applying all this, but still, Best of Luck :-)
From India, Delhi
Dear prashanth, I am realy thankful to your reply and I will try my best to do all the methods,and if u have time please give me more suggestions.again thank you..
From India, Bangalore
From India, Bangalore
I must tell thanks to you. I think the method of speaking "like just interacting with my friends" will work for me, and practicing in front of a mirror is also good. Give me more suggestions. I am really thankful to you. But the important part is I can start like this, but I need to make it lasting till the end of the speech.
From India, Bangalore
From India, Bangalore
One thing I need to let you know is - when you look into the mirror and talk, start admiring yourself. Smile at yourself, compliment yourself.
Only when you start liking yourself and what you do, you will be sure that others are also looking at you and complimenting you the same way.
Also, please note when you sit and watch a person delivering - what is it that you look for?
- Control over body language
- Confidence
- Smile
- And... yes, the message
Similarly, see what you have to improve for the crowd watching you, and what content they are looking for.
Good luck!
From India, Madras
Only when you start liking yourself and what you do, you will be sure that others are also looking at you and complimenting you the same way.
Also, please note when you sit and watch a person delivering - what is it that you look for?
- Control over body language
- Confidence
- Smile
- And... yes, the message
Similarly, see what you have to improve for the crowd watching you, and what content they are looking for.
Good luck!
From India, Madras
Dear Akash,
Only a handful of people are blessed with non-nervousness while in public speaking or who can speak impromptu. The majority face the same problem as you are facing. If you intend to avoid nervousness, you should have command over the language you want to speak in public. For example, if you want to make a speech in English, you should have a good vocabulary for which you should make a practice of reading a lot. To improve the language and speech, you should read aloud any English newspapers or English magazines for at least half an hour daily. You should try to read the editorial column which consists of effective words. In my opinion, practice makes man perfect. You should tell yourself that if others can do it, you can also do it. In the beginning, everybody faces the problem, but slowly things improve. Your courage increases day by day, and your fear will slowly disappear. Once you improve your courage, whatever you speak is only correct. If you attempt to speak something in public, you are doing a great thing. Even if someone criticizes you or laughs at your mistake, you should think that the person who laughs at your mistake may not have the courage to face the public at all. Take courage. I once again insist, 'practice makes man perfect,' and 'slow and steady wins the race.' All the best.
Regards,
Madhwa
From India, Mumbai
Only a handful of people are blessed with non-nervousness while in public speaking or who can speak impromptu. The majority face the same problem as you are facing. If you intend to avoid nervousness, you should have command over the language you want to speak in public. For example, if you want to make a speech in English, you should have a good vocabulary for which you should make a practice of reading a lot. To improve the language and speech, you should read aloud any English newspapers or English magazines for at least half an hour daily. You should try to read the editorial column which consists of effective words. In my opinion, practice makes man perfect. You should tell yourself that if others can do it, you can also do it. In the beginning, everybody faces the problem, but slowly things improve. Your courage increases day by day, and your fear will slowly disappear. Once you improve your courage, whatever you speak is only correct. If you attempt to speak something in public, you are doing a great thing. Even if someone criticizes you or laughs at your mistake, you should think that the person who laughs at your mistake may not have the courage to face the public at all. Take courage. I once again insist, 'practice makes man perfect,' and 'slow and steady wins the race.' All the best.
Regards,
Madhwa
From India, Mumbai
Dear Akashh,
By virtue of the strength and richness of the site, you have already received excellent practical feedback, particularly from Prashant and Asha Mathew. Please put it into regular practice. In addition, I am giving you the theoretical/conceptual base to strengthen your conviction. Let me introduce you to the concept of Cybernetics.
Cybernetics is the science of control and communications in animals, including humankind, and machines. The study of cybernetics has been used in various ways since ancient times to attempt to explain, understand, and manage the effective workings of all manner of systems - social, organizational, animal, mechanical, electronic, and others. As such, the cybernetics concept (notably 'the first law of cybernetics') is immensely relevant to the modern development of management, and one's own role and potential within systems of all kinds.
The organization in which we work, the world in which we live, and the people around us - these are all systems.
The 'first law of cybernetics' has massive significance, especially in understanding and developing greater individual self-determination, and greater understanding, tolerance, and variety of responses to situations and people around us, which are all essential for our ability to interact and respond effectively within work and beyond.
The 'first law of cybernetics' is arguably one of the most powerful maxims for living a happy, productive, and successful life.
The 1st law of cybernetics:
"The unit within the system with the most behavioral responses available to it controls the system."
Think about it:
"The unit within the system with the most behavioral responses available to it controls the system."
The 'unit' is you.
The 'behavioral responses' are how you react and plan, and what you do and say.
The 'system' is the environment (in all respects) and the people that represent the world that you seek to succeed within.
And 'control' is the choice that you are able to exercise in achieving what you want, whatever that may be.
In addition to this, I am appending a presentation on Transaction Analysis which will probably rationalize your thoughts on interpersonal communications.
Wishing you the accomplishment of a towering personality!
Arun Chopra
From India, Delhi
By virtue of the strength and richness of the site, you have already received excellent practical feedback, particularly from Prashant and Asha Mathew. Please put it into regular practice. In addition, I am giving you the theoretical/conceptual base to strengthen your conviction. Let me introduce you to the concept of Cybernetics.
Cybernetics is the science of control and communications in animals, including humankind, and machines. The study of cybernetics has been used in various ways since ancient times to attempt to explain, understand, and manage the effective workings of all manner of systems - social, organizational, animal, mechanical, electronic, and others. As such, the cybernetics concept (notably 'the first law of cybernetics') is immensely relevant to the modern development of management, and one's own role and potential within systems of all kinds.
The organization in which we work, the world in which we live, and the people around us - these are all systems.
The 'first law of cybernetics' has massive significance, especially in understanding and developing greater individual self-determination, and greater understanding, tolerance, and variety of responses to situations and people around us, which are all essential for our ability to interact and respond effectively within work and beyond.
The 'first law of cybernetics' is arguably one of the most powerful maxims for living a happy, productive, and successful life.
The 1st law of cybernetics:
"The unit within the system with the most behavioral responses available to it controls the system."
Think about it:
"The unit within the system with the most behavioral responses available to it controls the system."
The 'unit' is you.
The 'behavioral responses' are how you react and plan, and what you do and say.
The 'system' is the environment (in all respects) and the people that represent the world that you seek to succeed within.
And 'control' is the choice that you are able to exercise in achieving what you want, whatever that may be.
In addition to this, I am appending a presentation on Transaction Analysis which will probably rationalize your thoughts on interpersonal communications.
Wishing you the accomplishment of a towering personality!
Arun Chopra
From India, Delhi
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