Hi,
Look for some other options—if you have confidence and qualifications—do not worry; there are lots of jobs for the right candidates—one should not compromise on self-respect.
Regards,
Ashok
From India, Delhi
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1Look for some other options—if you have confidence and qualifications—do not worry; there are lots of jobs for the right candidates—one should not compromise on self-respect.
Regards,
Ashok
From India, Delhi
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AKS,
I do not think that this issue is unusual; per media data Office Romance is in full swing at India Inc.
My personal advice for your colleague would be:
Not to run away from the situation, Face it!
Introspect as to what situations/behavior from your colleague would have given GM the confidence to indulge in such activity. GM’s entire credibility is at stake.
Set up an official 1:1 meeting with the GM
Confront the situation and let him know that this is not appreciated
If things does not improve, file an official complain OR escalate the issue.
Thanks
Rahul
From India, Vadodara
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I do not think that this issue is unusual; per media data Office Romance is in full swing at India Inc.
My personal advice for your colleague would be:
Not to run away from the situation, Face it!
Introspect as to what situations/behavior from your colleague would have given GM the confidence to indulge in such activity. GM’s entire credibility is at stake.
Set up an official 1:1 meeting with the GM
Confront the situation and let him know that this is not appreciated
If things does not improve, file an official complain OR escalate the issue.
Thanks
Rahul
From India, Vadodara
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I don't agree with this post at all in principle because it's a personal matter between individuals whether they accept or reject it; it's their personal view. If tomorrow, she and he accept each other, we have no opinion then.
We must acknowledge the fact that life is a game of possibilities. Just because of social taboos, we cannot form any opinion and justify or criticize people because of our conservative beliefs. Due to the change in lifestyle in big cities, people accept new norms to become successful in life, and who cares what matters to the same like-minded people who do not come on citeHR to share success stories because it's their personal matter.
Here we think in a conventional manner to maintain the old economy social decorum of SriRam Sena kind of dogmatism, which is not viable and practical. It's the thinking of progressive-minded people and conservative thinking, whether you accept or reject it's not our problem.
We should keep our subject clean and conscious of what our focus and objectives are.
Captain
+100 marks. It is up to the girl to decide what she wants to do, and she should not follow the advice of members. Even one month back, I had a personal issue in my life, but instead of posting it here, I asked my close friends and then got it solved. Some things are to be discussed with close personal friends and not with strangers on some discussion site; else, she can post in forums specially made for discussing such types of issues.
From India, Pune
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We must acknowledge the fact that life is a game of possibilities. Just because of social taboos, we cannot form any opinion and justify or criticize people because of our conservative beliefs. Due to the change in lifestyle in big cities, people accept new norms to become successful in life, and who cares what matters to the same like-minded people who do not come on citeHR to share success stories because it's their personal matter.
Here we think in a conventional manner to maintain the old economy social decorum of SriRam Sena kind of dogmatism, which is not viable and practical. It's the thinking of progressive-minded people and conservative thinking, whether you accept or reject it's not our problem.
We should keep our subject clean and conscious of what our focus and objectives are.
Captain
+100 marks. It is up to the girl to decide what she wants to do, and she should not follow the advice of members. Even one month back, I had a personal issue in my life, but instead of posting it here, I asked my close friends and then got it solved. Some things are to be discussed with close personal friends and not with strangers on some discussion site; else, she can post in forums specially made for discussing such types of issues.
From India, Pune
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Well, I think attraction encompasses two things: love and lust. And it seems the boss is in the mood of lust.
I recommend giving him three warnings. In the meantime, gather evidence to support your actions.
Then, personally address the matter with your boss. If your boss is female, that works well. Additionally, inform his wife about the situation.
Remember the saying:
"If you sow an action, you reap a habit.
If you sow a habit, you reap a character.
If you sow a character, you reap a destiny."
From India, Mangaluru
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I recommend giving him three warnings. In the meantime, gather evidence to support your actions.
Then, personally address the matter with your boss. If your boss is female, that works well. Additionally, inform his wife about the situation.
Remember the saying:
"If you sow an action, you reap a habit.
If you sow a habit, you reap a character.
If you sow a character, you reap a destiny."
From India, Mangaluru
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I agree with the comments by Badlooser and Captaincook.
Basically, this story seems to be a fabricated tale of self-glorification. The lady has a psychological desire to acknowledge her strength in becoming beautiful to attract the attention of her male colleagues. Especially for those who understand the psychology of women and their psychological needs, it would not be appropriate to blame the lady for using this site to seek praise and sympathy, as the women who posted this issue also have their own psychological needs.
There are two sides to every story, one being the boss and the other the subordinate. Both parties are mature enough to use their common sense to decide what to do. So, what do they expect from the members of CiteHR?
This post is totally absurd and utterly pointless. It does not deserve attention. However, because it resembles the material of popular Bollywood film masala, everyone wants to jump into the post. It's a waste, pure and simple.
Abraham
From Saudi Arabia
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Basically, this story seems to be a fabricated tale of self-glorification. The lady has a psychological desire to acknowledge her strength in becoming beautiful to attract the attention of her male colleagues. Especially for those who understand the psychology of women and their psychological needs, it would not be appropriate to blame the lady for using this site to seek praise and sympathy, as the women who posted this issue also have their own psychological needs.
There are two sides to every story, one being the boss and the other the subordinate. Both parties are mature enough to use their common sense to decide what to do. So, what do they expect from the members of CiteHR?
This post is totally absurd and utterly pointless. It does not deserve attention. However, because it resembles the material of popular Bollywood film masala, everyone wants to jump into the post. It's a waste, pure and simple.
Abraham
From Saudi Arabia
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I guess you should pull out the sexual harassment policy if he gets into it again. But before that, tell it to his face in private that you do not appreciate his advances and that he's your father's age or even your grandfather's.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Over Reaction And Acting, No One Is Sure Of What’s Truth Behind This Story, People Just Being Provoked And Express Nuisance...
From Saudi Arabia
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From Saudi Arabia
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My Request To All The Members.... Please do not entertain such issues on this site without knowing the fact. She is mature enough to handle this issue. I am sorry, Aks, but please don't use this forum for personal problems. I might be wrong, but please handle this issue on your own because people will advise you many things (including me) but that may not be suitable for you. You are the best person to judge the situation and act accordingly.
What say seniors...???
From India, Madras
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What say seniors...???
From India, Madras
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Dear AKS,
Let me ask you... are you the HR Officer yourself? If not, how come you have mentioned somewhere 'MY JOB' in your query.
Anyways, no issues. There are certain things we need to look at when dealing with such situations (case by case basis). They are:
1. Never ever bother about the AGE. You mean to say that if the boss is just 2-3 years old, she would accept that proposal? I doubt it.
2. The boss, as an HR personnel, has breached his ETHICS.
3. The HR Officer need not take this up very seriously and make a hue and cry of it. This is common with any BEAUTIFUL lady.
What I suggest is:
1. Being an HR Officer, you need to maintain your cool, be an ANGEL, take this as a COMPLIMENT (because you are beautiful whether people agree to it or not).
2. People at that age (62) say something like that, please do not get bugged up for you need to understand in what circumstances he said that. You even may say, "that's none of my business." If that is the case, then you shouldn't be asking us for suggestions... hope you got me.
3. As you know, Life is a JOURNEY with lots of such people travelling with you and also getting down at their stations. Cheer up, lady.
4. You need to become a COUNSELOR as early as possible to help others in such situations, as well (not quitting your job or being negative in your attitude, etc).
God bless you!
Yours,
:icon1: Wellwisher
From India, Hyderabad
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Let me ask you... are you the HR Officer yourself? If not, how come you have mentioned somewhere 'MY JOB' in your query.
Anyways, no issues. There are certain things we need to look at when dealing with such situations (case by case basis). They are:
1. Never ever bother about the AGE. You mean to say that if the boss is just 2-3 years old, she would accept that proposal? I doubt it.
2. The boss, as an HR personnel, has breached his ETHICS.
3. The HR Officer need not take this up very seriously and make a hue and cry of it. This is common with any BEAUTIFUL lady.
What I suggest is:
1. Being an HR Officer, you need to maintain your cool, be an ANGEL, take this as a COMPLIMENT (because you are beautiful whether people agree to it or not).
2. People at that age (62) say something like that, please do not get bugged up for you need to understand in what circumstances he said that. You even may say, "that's none of my business." If that is the case, then you shouldn't be asking us for suggestions... hope you got me.
3. As you know, Life is a JOURNEY with lots of such people travelling with you and also getting down at their stations. Cheer up, lady.
4. You need to become a COUNSELOR as early as possible to help others in such situations, as well (not quitting your job or being negative in your attitude, etc).
God bless you!
Yours,
:icon1: Wellwisher
From India, Hyderabad
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Dear All,
I have gone through all the posts and comments sent by different people with different opinions. Some of them are trying to say the same thing but with different words.
I would like to put my views on this issue.
First of all, I would say that I have sympathy with AKS. Being an HR professional, it is very important to understand people and their emotions. Women have this power of sixth sense greater than men.
The behavior of others is controlled by our attitude towards them. If we are very open-minded and people understand the same, then it's quite obvious to get such kinds of comments from others.
"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder" is a very common saying, but we don't mean it.
This is not a problem of love or lust; this is very common when men and women work together. Some people become friends, some behave like brothers and sisters, some keep a professional relationship, some try to make a time-pass kind of relationship.
Now, 99% of the time, this relationship is governed by females.
This is not the first time happening with a girl like you, and this is not the last incidence going to happen. The only difference is in age and marital status.
But does age and marital status always matter?
And the most important thing to keep in your mind is that - In our Indian tradition, whether a mistake is made by anyone, it is usually the girls who get a bad name.
Instead of wasting your energy in resisting such a kind of defamation, I suggest you take it as a learning experience and make a justified decision.
If you are really beautiful, then you will face the same problem always.
But you have not given any detail about what you replied when he called you and was proposing to you. That was the only turning point where you could have handled the situation wisely.
Go ahead with your good decision. Be brave and apply the principle of Management by Objectives. Convey your feelings as if you consider him as a father, etc. If he is holding a reputed position, then he must understand the same.
Good Luck!!
Anish
From India, Bhopal
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I have gone through all the posts and comments sent by different people with different opinions. Some of them are trying to say the same thing but with different words.
I would like to put my views on this issue.
First of all, I would say that I have sympathy with AKS. Being an HR professional, it is very important to understand people and their emotions. Women have this power of sixth sense greater than men.
The behavior of others is controlled by our attitude towards them. If we are very open-minded and people understand the same, then it's quite obvious to get such kinds of comments from others.
"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder" is a very common saying, but we don't mean it.
This is not a problem of love or lust; this is very common when men and women work together. Some people become friends, some behave like brothers and sisters, some keep a professional relationship, some try to make a time-pass kind of relationship.
Now, 99% of the time, this relationship is governed by females.
This is not the first time happening with a girl like you, and this is not the last incidence going to happen. The only difference is in age and marital status.
But does age and marital status always matter?
And the most important thing to keep in your mind is that - In our Indian tradition, whether a mistake is made by anyone, it is usually the girls who get a bad name.
Instead of wasting your energy in resisting such a kind of defamation, I suggest you take it as a learning experience and make a justified decision.
If you are really beautiful, then you will face the same problem always.
But you have not given any detail about what you replied when he called you and was proposing to you. That was the only turning point where you could have handled the situation wisely.
Go ahead with your good decision. Be brave and apply the principle of Management by Objectives. Convey your feelings as if you consider him as a father, etc. If he is holding a reputed position, then he must understand the same.
Good Luck!!
Anish
From India, Bhopal
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