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Dear AKS, Better be quiet and shift to other concern better than this take this as lesson and be in distance with all
From India, Pondicherry
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Hi,

I have a different take on this. I think one can develop feelings for a person, and it is quite natural for a human being to fall for someone. Yes, we do understand the age difference here (What if Salman Rushdie does the same; nobody minds). You may wish to consider the fact that the boss has been truthful about his feelings for her.

What she can tell her boss, without giving a cold face and only serious stuff, is that she was very uncomfortable to know that he had feelings for her and that she respected him as a father figure and guardian. She can also mention that she is already engaged/married/in a relationship, etc. Avoiding the boss and creating a stressful work environment will not help.

Storing messages, texts, mobile numbers will make things worse as the person will always have a negative attitude towards the individual. Take it on face value and handle the whole situation very politely with very little embarrassment to yourself and him. Make sure that you don't speak to anyone regarding this in the office.

You do not really have to go through the Anti-Sexual Harassment Manual and approach the Ethics Officer now. You may wish to escalate to that level at a later stage if you see no improvement in the situation. All the best.

From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
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I saw this post initially when it was posted in citehr and was thinking whether to reply or not. But lots of bad people are there; some demand favors and some give favors to climb up the ladder.

But obviously, you can't be disturbed at work. Some girls in your case may choose to give favors and relax in the job if the boss too is of their age, and some may directly choose to fight back. In this, some may even choose to leave the job because a sexual harassment case means both the male and female's name is going to be defamed. Even if the female has not done anything, her name gets defamed. And for females, once their name gets defamed, it's too hard. But try your best either to SOLVE IT THERE or GET A SMOOTH EXIT.

From India, Pune
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Hi, I have a different take on this. I think one can develop feelings for a person, and it is quite natural for a human being to fall for someone. Yes, we do understand the age difference here (What if Salman Rushdie does the same; nobody minds). You may wish to consider the fact that the boss has been truthful about his feelings for her. What she can tell her boss, without giving a cold face and only serious stuff, is that she was very uncomfortable to know that he had feelings for her and that she respected him as her father and guardian. She can also mention that she is already engaged/married/in a relationship, etc. Avoiding the boss and creating a stressful work environment will not help. Storing messages, texts, mobile numbers will make things worse, as the person will always have a negative attitude towards her. Take it on face and handle the whole situation very politely with very little embarrassment to yourself and him. Make sure that you don't speak to anyone regarding this in the office. You do not really have to go through the Anti-Sexual Harassment Manual and approach the Ethics Officer now. You may wish to escalate to that level at a later stage if you see no improvement in the situation. All the best.

Now as a true HR, you are realizing the human side of HR, but dear, this is absurd, and the boss, at his age of 62, should think a thousand times before setting up such a proposal. If she mentions that she is married or engaged, he may tell her it's just for favors. It's a very complicated case, and to handle it, you need to have excellent logic and presence of mind, because if you get stuck tomorrow, it will be like being stuck in quicksand.

From India, Pune
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Seniors (elders) are required to protect, guide, and lead the young ones, not propose to them. "Nishabd" and "Cheeni Kum" are Bollywood - this is real life. And this 62-year-old has a FAMILY.

A 27-year-old has gone to the workplace to work, not to accept proposals from seniors. And her intentions become pretty clear by the very fact that she has posted this issue here and sought help. Yes, she has to say a POINT BLANK NO.

To secure herself, she needs to have this escalated because how many other girls would have had the guts to come up and report the matter? Professional matters need to be handled professionally. She is not overreacting in any case.

Also, as an HR person, it is her DUTY now to have the Sexual Harassment Policy in place (if already not done).

As a human being, giving all humane considerations, it is advisable to respect the 27-year-old's NO and stop approaching her for any other favors. She has refused to accept such advances, and her intentions need no proof. (AKS, please second me on this).

Nonsense has to be killed FROM THE ROOT LEVEL before giving another chance for any other serious threat. The 62-year-old who has a FAMILY may rather go and show feelings there. None of us are casanovas, and none of us cannot control our feelings. It's on you how you exercise your controls on yourself.

From India, Delhi
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Hi,

With all due respect towards the opinions shared here on the post, I would like to put forward the following points in my argument:

1) I am not saying that what the boss is doing is justified or correct. NO! NOT at ALL. But we must all remember that we do not live in an idealistic world...

2) You do not have any proof of being proposed to so that you can take it up with senior management.

3) I have no clue why the boss is still working at 62 when the retirement age is 58.

4) Please do not make a mountain out of a molehill. The guy has proposed (you know what that means—I guess you do—ASKING.) To accept it or not is your prerogative. He has not forced himself on you.

5) The reputation and perception of HR within the company depend on how you handle the situation.

6) You may start jumping and crying about someone proposing to you or confidently handle the issue, speak face to face, and nip the issue in the bud. The choice is yours.

I have corrected the spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors in the text and ensured proper paragraph formatting. Let me know if you need any further assistance.

From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
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Hi All,

To some extent, I agree with Pritesh in the sense that it is quite a natural phenomenon. However, considering the fact that he has his own family and is older than her, he should not have uttered this nonsense.

I suggest that the girl should be very strong and behave normally towards that stupid GM; otherwise, it may create a negative and stressful environment for her, and she may not be able to concentrate. However, she needs to speak to the GM very seriously face to face about the matter clearly and indirectly warn him. I am sure if he is sensible enough, he will understand.

On the other side, if this matter comes to the limelight, it might affect his reputation, and he might find a way to dismiss her from the company, which would not be good for her.

The best way to solve the problems is to face that and not avoid it.

Best wishes...

From India, Delhi
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It's true that making an issue of it is not good, but yes, you have to be aware of what's happening around you. Yes, it's not an idealistic world, but we have to survive in this world only, so it's always good to know where we are heading and what we can do about such issues.

My point is that AKS is facing this issue; she only knows what are the other issues related to this, so by sitting outside, we can just guide her in our own best ways. And knowing about laws will always benefit her because what's stored in the future, no one knows.

I don't think anyone over here is suggesting her to scream or cry on this issue. All are just giving her various ways to tackle this. Hopefully, the point is clear now.

From India, Delhi
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I agree with Vijeta... No one is suggesting she screams or makes a mountain out of a molehill, but yes, she needs to oppose it for sure while maintaining the reputation and perception of HR.

We all need to give her the confidence and encouragement to face the situation and not just ignore it.

All the best

From India, Delhi
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I don't agree with this post at all in principle because it's a personal matter between individuals whether they accept or reject it; it's their personal view. If tomorrow she and he accept each other, we have no opinion then.

We must acknowledge the fact that life is a game of possibilities. Just because of social taboos, we cannot form any opinion and justify or criticize people because of our conservative beliefs.

Due to changes in lifestyle in big cities, people accept new norms to become successful in life, and who cares what matters to the same like-minded people who do not come on citeHR to share success stories because it's their personal matter.

Here, we think in a conventional manner to maintain the old economy social decorum of SriRam Sena kind of dogmatism, which is not viable and practical.

It's the thinking of progressive-minded people and conservative thinking, whether you accept or reject; it's not our problem.

We should keep our subject clean and conscious of what's our focus and objectives.

Captain

From Saudi Arabia, Riyadh
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