Hi dear,
So sweet :) I had no idea that my words may hurt you, but yes, I said "super ego." Go through its meanings, and you will find your answer. You can also solve your problem. Got the point? And also, don't jump to assumptions about others; it's better to rectify ourselves.
Have a nice day, dude.
From India
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5So sweet :) I had no idea that my words may hurt you, but yes, I said "super ego." Go through its meanings, and you will find your answer. You can also solve your problem. Got the point? And also, don't jump to assumptions about others; it's better to rectify ourselves.
Have a nice day, dude.
From India
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Dear,
I am proposing the idea of establishing written communication. Once you start doing this and keep your manager in the loop (by marking a copy), your manager will also be aware of what is happening around.
At times, a newcomer, due to their rich experience, may be perceived as a threat to the person who is already working there. Hence, they may try to behave in that fashion.
Have patience. Keep your immediate boss informed about what is happening in the department. If you are going to complain to your manager's manager, then your immediate boss might feel that you are bypassing him, which will add one more person to your list.
Balaji
From India, Madras
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I am proposing the idea of establishing written communication. Once you start doing this and keep your manager in the loop (by marking a copy), your manager will also be aware of what is happening around.
At times, a newcomer, due to their rich experience, may be perceived as a threat to the person who is already working there. Hence, they may try to behave in that fashion.
Have patience. Keep your immediate boss informed about what is happening in the department. If you are going to complain to your manager's manager, then your immediate boss might feel that you are bypassing him, which will add one more person to your list.
Balaji
From India, Madras
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Hi,
As Mr. Ravi said, you should always send an email to that person to ask for what you require and cc the manager. If that person doesn't respond within the timeframe, send another reminder and cc the manager again.
But remember, the language of the email should not be harsh as it can hurt the ego of that person, and they may become defensive, resulting in a lack of proper response. Also, keep your emotions apart while writing the email.
The same applies when talking to your manager - keep your emotions in check.
When speaking to your manager, you can use a Sandwich approach. Start by mentioning something positive about that person, like their proficiency in software or anything else you find appropriate. Then, express your concern about not receiving the required support. Conclude the conversation by stating the type of support you need from the manager and end on a positive note.
Thanks & Regards,
Meenu Sharma
From India, Madras
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As Mr. Ravi said, you should always send an email to that person to ask for what you require and cc the manager. If that person doesn't respond within the timeframe, send another reminder and cc the manager again.
But remember, the language of the email should not be harsh as it can hurt the ego of that person, and they may become defensive, resulting in a lack of proper response. Also, keep your emotions apart while writing the email.
The same applies when talking to your manager - keep your emotions in check.
When speaking to your manager, you can use a Sandwich approach. Start by mentioning something positive about that person, like their proficiency in software or anything else you find appropriate. Then, express your concern about not receiving the required support. Conclude the conversation by stating the type of support you need from the manager and end on a positive note.
Thanks & Regards,
Meenu Sharma
From India, Madras
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Hi. About to be caught.
This is a very common scenario in companies. After a few years of experience, your tool will become "evil." If you are a fresher, I think you need to read "How to Win Office Politics" by Gireesh Sharma. You can find it at "How to win Office politics".
From India, Delhi
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This is a very common scenario in companies. After a few years of experience, your tool will become "evil." If you are a fresher, I think you need to read "How to Win Office Politics" by Gireesh Sharma. You can find it at "How to win Office politics".
From India, Delhi
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Hello,
As far as I have been able to understand, I feel that your colleague is more concerned about his security and future prospects, and that's the reason he is not helping you. He may think that if he assists you and you become important, he will no longer be needed in the company.
Firstly, stop sending him messages over IM. Instead, send him emails so that you have evidence to back you up. Also, if you want something, first send him an email, then an IM, and then keep calling him every 10 or 15 minutes for updates on your request or requirement. This could be one of the best ways to return the favors.
Alternatively, you can discuss your concerns with the person over a cup of coffee and sort it out.
Regards,
Octavious
From India, Mumbai
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As far as I have been able to understand, I feel that your colleague is more concerned about his security and future prospects, and that's the reason he is not helping you. He may think that if he assists you and you become important, he will no longer be needed in the company.
Firstly, stop sending him messages over IM. Instead, send him emails so that you have evidence to back you up. Also, if you want something, first send him an email, then an IM, and then keep calling him every 10 or 15 minutes for updates on your request or requirement. This could be one of the best ways to return the favors.
Alternatively, you can discuss your concerns with the person over a cup of coffee and sort it out.
Regards,
Octavious
From India, Mumbai
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Dear All,
I was going through all the posts and valuable input.
It's human tendency to resist new entrants and a physiology of insecurity. It may happen that he wants to show his importance and create psychological pressure over the opponent from day one, to show that he cannot succeed.
This happens in every organization, but the degree varies:-
1. Never panic and face situations bravely. If you feel like crying, do it at home, not in the workplace.
2. Don't show your emotions or show that you are frightened.
3. Talk to him politely, do not deviate from the topic (professional), and do not react in any way.
4. Let him check your breaking point. See how far one could go in being non-cooperative and humiliating. If there is no reaction from our side, one day he will stop.
5. Have patience, a day will come when he will admire you. Just wait and watch the game. These conditions will make you rock solid.
This is my personal experience from my first job. Have confidence in yourself.
If you are new in the organization, do not expect support from them. Be practical and use your skills and abilities to handle situations as required.
Kindly update us on the results in due course of time.
From India, Bhubaneswar
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I was going through all the posts and valuable input.
It's human tendency to resist new entrants and a physiology of insecurity. It may happen that he wants to show his importance and create psychological pressure over the opponent from day one, to show that he cannot succeed.
This happens in every organization, but the degree varies:-
1. Never panic and face situations bravely. If you feel like crying, do it at home, not in the workplace.
2. Don't show your emotions or show that you are frightened.
3. Talk to him politely, do not deviate from the topic (professional), and do not react in any way.
4. Let him check your breaking point. See how far one could go in being non-cooperative and humiliating. If there is no reaction from our side, one day he will stop.
5. Have patience, a day will come when he will admire you. Just wait and watch the game. These conditions will make you rock solid.
This is my personal experience from my first job. Have confidence in yourself.
If you are new in the organization, do not expect support from them. Be practical and use your skills and abilities to handle situations as required.
Kindly update us on the results in due course of time.
From India, Bhubaneswar
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Vikash, just know that the XXX in my previous post are some bad words that have been censored by the moderator. If you give me your email address, I can send them to you in private. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
From India, Bangalore
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From India, Bangalore
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Dear "about-....."
I have gone through the thread and your clarifications to others' queries.
I could have expected such things from a fresher, who has no experience of life and work-life; but not from a person with some worthwhile experience.
You seem to be a very sensitive and emotional person, almost ladylike (pardon me for saying this, but I am not a male chauvinist; this is just to highlight the 'softer' aspects of human emotion); which is evident from your post and your responses.
As some have rightly pointed out, I shall reiterate and summarize the situation as below:
Normally, existing employees feel insecure and threatened when a new joiner is assigned to them in a team.
This feeling of insecurity gets heightened if the new joiner is more talented/qualified/experienced and/or the employee himself is not so bright.
It is too naive to expect that people would help you willingly from Day 1 just because the boss said so.
It takes time and some positive actions/gestures to build up rapport and trust as a team.
Bad feelings about someone are contagious and the vibe is not lost upon the other person.
What you have done so far is okay as you have honestly and correctly expressed your problems.
However, you need to do more to get willing cooperation from someone who has lesser qualification and experience than you and feels threatened of his own existence in the company.
You can make a start by being less judgmental, less emotional, and "accepting" the other person with all his shortcomings.
Please feel free to ask, in case you need any further assistance/clarification on this.
Warm regards.
From India, Delhi
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I have gone through the thread and your clarifications to others' queries.
I could have expected such things from a fresher, who has no experience of life and work-life; but not from a person with some worthwhile experience.
You seem to be a very sensitive and emotional person, almost ladylike (pardon me for saying this, but I am not a male chauvinist; this is just to highlight the 'softer' aspects of human emotion); which is evident from your post and your responses.
As some have rightly pointed out, I shall reiterate and summarize the situation as below:
Normally, existing employees feel insecure and threatened when a new joiner is assigned to them in a team.
This feeling of insecurity gets heightened if the new joiner is more talented/qualified/experienced and/or the employee himself is not so bright.
It is too naive to expect that people would help you willingly from Day 1 just because the boss said so.
It takes time and some positive actions/gestures to build up rapport and trust as a team.
Bad feelings about someone are contagious and the vibe is not lost upon the other person.
What you have done so far is okay as you have honestly and correctly expressed your problems.
However, you need to do more to get willing cooperation from someone who has lesser qualification and experience than you and feels threatened of his own existence in the company.
You can make a start by being less judgmental, less emotional, and "accepting" the other person with all his shortcomings.
Please feel free to ask, in case you need any further assistance/clarification on this.
Warm regards.
From India, Delhi
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Interesting post.
ATBC, I agree with you. If 45 days of non-cooperation exist, it is a serious matter for the company. The company must be concerned with this kind of situation. All the advice given here is probably okay for the first week, but for 1.5 months, I would say it is certainly a NO NO.
The one point I am not clear on is if this person is your reportee. It doesn't appear so from your post. But if he is not, you have little leverage but to wait (the safest way out)...
On closer introspection, I think you need to build up some more confidence. Your case is strong. But you need to see if you can 'objectively demonstrate' this situation. As the newbie with your company, you have fewer friends out there. Your boss/manager might be your best friend. I would advise you to try and spend more time with your boss and win his confidence. Understand how he thinks and how the company works. Once you feel that he understands your thought process, you might want to inform him that things are not working well and substantiate (remember, this is the most important thing) it with adequate information. This would be a safe way, but it might take you 2-3 weeks more.
My personal assessment (and I could be grossly wrong here) is that your colleague was probably eyeing for your job! Your recruitment came as a blow, and therefore, there is non-cooperation. Note that he might not be qualified and he might have a very false perception of his career. But, all said, the fact is that he is still there at that point. Your post doesn't indicate that you are the flashy boss, but that could be another reason where your colleague might be 'hurt' by your 'style of working'. This is less likely to result in an extreme posture though...
As an immediate step, you could talk to your manager with extreme caution and study his response. You can say that management support needs to reinforce the corporate objective and the need to respect the chain of command. See if he supports you in your cause. Tell him that you might want to have a review meeting set up every day for the next three days and every week thereafter. After all, it's teething trouble for your colleague as well. Depending on his response, you might have indications on which way you have to go...
I used to manage 40 direct reportees in the US, and we used to have a brief meeting every day. So, that evened out any possible 'performance lapses'. Of course, not everyone was comfortable with the reviews each afternoon :-), but that was my policy.
From United States, Daphne
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ATBC, I agree with you. If 45 days of non-cooperation exist, it is a serious matter for the company. The company must be concerned with this kind of situation. All the advice given here is probably okay for the first week, but for 1.5 months, I would say it is certainly a NO NO.
The one point I am not clear on is if this person is your reportee. It doesn't appear so from your post. But if he is not, you have little leverage but to wait (the safest way out)...
On closer introspection, I think you need to build up some more confidence. Your case is strong. But you need to see if you can 'objectively demonstrate' this situation. As the newbie with your company, you have fewer friends out there. Your boss/manager might be your best friend. I would advise you to try and spend more time with your boss and win his confidence. Understand how he thinks and how the company works. Once you feel that he understands your thought process, you might want to inform him that things are not working well and substantiate (remember, this is the most important thing) it with adequate information. This would be a safe way, but it might take you 2-3 weeks more.
My personal assessment (and I could be grossly wrong here) is that your colleague was probably eyeing for your job! Your recruitment came as a blow, and therefore, there is non-cooperation. Note that he might not be qualified and he might have a very false perception of his career. But, all said, the fact is that he is still there at that point. Your post doesn't indicate that you are the flashy boss, but that could be another reason where your colleague might be 'hurt' by your 'style of working'. This is less likely to result in an extreme posture though...
As an immediate step, you could talk to your manager with extreme caution and study his response. You can say that management support needs to reinforce the corporate objective and the need to respect the chain of command. See if he supports you in your cause. Tell him that you might want to have a review meeting set up every day for the next three days and every week thereafter. After all, it's teething trouble for your colleague as well. Depending on his response, you might have indications on which way you have to go...
I used to manage 40 direct reportees in the US, and we used to have a brief meeting every day. So, that evened out any possible 'performance lapses'. Of course, not everyone was comfortable with the reviews each afternoon :-), but that was my policy.
From United States, Daphne
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Dear [Recipient],
If you are senior to the person mentioned (in terms of job position), please sit with them and discuss the matter politely. This approach will help to solve your problem.
If you are unable to do the same, there may be an error in your system.
Please reformat it and try to approach it with a fresh perspective.
Thank you.
From India, Bangalore
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If you are senior to the person mentioned (in terms of job position), please sit with them and discuss the matter politely. This approach will help to solve your problem.
If you are unable to do the same, there may be an error in your system.
Please reformat it and try to approach it with a fresh perspective.
Thank you.
From India, Bangalore
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