Hi all,
I have been working for an organization for the past year, where most of the time, I am idle. Whenever I approach my boss for additional responsibilities to fully utilize my skill set, he gives me the cold shoulder by questioning my interpersonal skills. He suggests that I am not getting along with other people. However, most of the time, I have observed that he is the one who sidelines me. This gives others the impression that I am not important at all. I feel that this also gives them the freedom to speak rudely to me. When I respond in kind, they succeed in portraying me as a poor team player.
What should I do?
From India, Mumbai
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I have been working for an organization for the past year, where most of the time, I am idle. Whenever I approach my boss for additional responsibilities to fully utilize my skill set, he gives me the cold shoulder by questioning my interpersonal skills. He suggests that I am not getting along with other people. However, most of the time, I have observed that he is the one who sidelines me. This gives others the impression that I am not important at all. I feel that this also gives them the freedom to speak rudely to me. When I respond in kind, they succeed in portraying me as a poor team player.
What should I do?
From India, Mumbai
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Please suggest a constructive solution at the earliest. I am really getting worked up with this boss of mine though the organisation has loads of good people but in our other branches and offices
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Hey.. Remember.. If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything. Regards Samant Raj
From India, Secunderabad
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12From India, Secunderabad
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hi, sit with him speak abt it.jus feel y all these happening...anything wrong frm ur end.If not go ahead speak and sort it out.Atleast u feel relax and clear . Mukesh
From India, Madras
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From India, Madras
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I have done that and have also asked him if he would like me to do anything further to improve his information content from my side. However, I just get one reply, "No, this is fine what you are doing." Since the organization is a small operation in India, my workload is pretty low. My boss had agreed at the time of my recruitment that he would involve me in all aspects of work, but he is backing out.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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oh god..dont understand...if u r so worried abt your career n growth n learning experience..then y dont u jus resign n work somewhere els..in a better company with a better profile.
From India, Hyderabad
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From India, Hyderabad
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Hi Pleasehelp,
Firstly, it's very good to know that you have the zeal to take up additional responsibilities and work hard. Keep it up and don't let anyone talk you out of it.
Secondly, what I understood from all your messages is that your boss has formed some sort of a misconception about you and your attitude and hence does not involve you in important assignments.
This is what you can do:
- Stop asking your boss for additional work. Instead, go to your boss with what all you want to do in terms of improving the work culture and process flow. For example, come up with some ideas for Employee Engagement activities. If there are any bottlenecks in any of the processes, talk to him about the solutions you think would help, and so forth.
- Spend most of your 'idle time' talking with other employees. This will not only improve your rapport with them but also develop your skills in Employee Relations and help you understand what's going on in your office, what kind of grievances employees have, and what kind of improvements they expect, etc. Discuss these with your boss and give your suggestions.
- Try to learn about the latest developments, best practices of other companies, and more about HR subjects, etc. You can find loads of information on the internet.
- If you still have a lot of idle time left, then take up a short-term course in HR.
Once your boss visibly sees your interest in your job, he will definitely want you to take more active participation in other things as well.
Lastly, most of the time, we get easily irritated with others when we are not happy with ourselves. So trust yourself and don't let your anguish for not doing much at your work get the best of you.
You don't have to be a doormat but you also can't afford to be too aggressive. Try to be assertive and diplomatic instead.
If you feel people are underestimating you, then prove them wrong by improving your skills and capabilities and by being proactive. Their attitude towards you will automatically change.
Hope this helps!!!
Deepthi
From India, Hyderabad
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Firstly, it's very good to know that you have the zeal to take up additional responsibilities and work hard. Keep it up and don't let anyone talk you out of it.
Secondly, what I understood from all your messages is that your boss has formed some sort of a misconception about you and your attitude and hence does not involve you in important assignments.
This is what you can do:
- Stop asking your boss for additional work. Instead, go to your boss with what all you want to do in terms of improving the work culture and process flow. For example, come up with some ideas for Employee Engagement activities. If there are any bottlenecks in any of the processes, talk to him about the solutions you think would help, and so forth.
- Spend most of your 'idle time' talking with other employees. This will not only improve your rapport with them but also develop your skills in Employee Relations and help you understand what's going on in your office, what kind of grievances employees have, and what kind of improvements they expect, etc. Discuss these with your boss and give your suggestions.
- Try to learn about the latest developments, best practices of other companies, and more about HR subjects, etc. You can find loads of information on the internet.
- If you still have a lot of idle time left, then take up a short-term course in HR.
Once your boss visibly sees your interest in your job, he will definitely want you to take more active participation in other things as well.
Lastly, most of the time, we get easily irritated with others when we are not happy with ourselves. So trust yourself and don't let your anguish for not doing much at your work get the best of you.
You don't have to be a doormat but you also can't afford to be too aggressive. Try to be assertive and diplomatic instead.
If you feel people are underestimating you, then prove them wrong by improving your skills and capabilities and by being proactive. Their attitude towards you will automatically change.
Hope this helps!!!
Deepthi
From India, Hyderabad
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Thanks Deepthi and all. Deepthi, just to correct you, I am not a part of HR. As you suggested, talking to others in the organization is a good idea. However, since it is a small office with hardly any processes under my purview, and I strictly refrain from involving myself in others' activities, my efforts to communicate with them are often met with ridicule. They either act rudely towards me or mock the inputs I provide on specific topics. I have a sense that my presence or absence in the office makes little difference. You are correct that my boss holds misconceptions about my behavior, which I have noticed during our discussions. Although I have explained and justified my actions, gaining his agreement that I am right, any subsequent rudeness from anyone resets the situation, and I find myself back at the starting point.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Someone said it is better to quit and take up something that gives me what I want. But, my dear friend, I feel why should I do a job hop because of this one character. What do I mention about the value addition I made in this one year, it is simply peanuts. Can someone provide me a solution wherein I stick to this job and get what I want in terms of role enhancement.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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I have a solution but I am scared and feel that you might take it personal and feel hurt.
There are many possibilities:
1)The company might have hired you for some role but later on they have found that you lack something in you; some skills are missing etc and etc. Hence, instead of sacking you…they are keeping you ideal.
2)This might also be a punishment for you for something wrong that you might have done.
If you have knowledge about industries…in IT industry you might have heard about “sitting on the bench” or in call-center you might have heard about “off the call”. These are some of the ways to punish the person without asking him or her to leave. This can also be perceived as a hint that “we do not need you. You start looking for a job and once you find it then resign on your own”. Though you have put this question on CiteHR but I think, you only know the exact thing.
Don’t get dishearten. Continue to do what you are doing. Do it to the best of your abilities. Also, start looking for a job.
In case you like to discuss it further, feel free to reach me.
Thanks and Regards
Sanjeev
From India, Mumbai
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There are many possibilities:
1)The company might have hired you for some role but later on they have found that you lack something in you; some skills are missing etc and etc. Hence, instead of sacking you…they are keeping you ideal.
2)This might also be a punishment for you for something wrong that you might have done.
If you have knowledge about industries…in IT industry you might have heard about “sitting on the bench” or in call-center you might have heard about “off the call”. These are some of the ways to punish the person without asking him or her to leave. This can also be perceived as a hint that “we do not need you. You start looking for a job and once you find it then resign on your own”. Though you have put this question on CiteHR but I think, you only know the exact thing.
Don’t get dishearten. Continue to do what you are doing. Do it to the best of your abilities. Also, start looking for a job.
In case you like to discuss it further, feel free to reach me.
Thanks and Regards
Sanjeev
From India, Mumbai
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Thanks, Sanjeev. Please note that in this case, it is only my boss and me who are part of a larger setup (I mean ours is not a sole proprietorship), and nobody else. Whenever I have approached him for additional responsibilities, he has given me assurances and some petty work but not a full-fledged role. Secondly, he feels upset if I approach the HR to discuss things. I mean if he wants to sack me, why is he worried about me approaching the HR? In fact, that would be beneficial for him; he can fabricate some issues and ease my retirement.
Regarding my skill set, you will be surprised that he does not know what I am capable of handling. I am saying this based on my experience of him being surprised by me managing some tasks that he thought belonged to someone else. Even if I have the desired skills, he will never know about it since he hardly interacts with me and has never made an effort to figure out what I can do, nor has he allowed me an opportunity to present it to him.
From India, Mumbai
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Regarding my skill set, you will be surprised that he does not know what I am capable of handling. I am saying this based on my experience of him being surprised by me managing some tasks that he thought belonged to someone else. Even if I have the desired skills, he will never know about it since he hardly interacts with me and has never made an effort to figure out what I can do, nor has he allowed me an opportunity to present it to him.
From India, Mumbai
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Hi,
Firstly, don't get bored at your work; instead, love your job and what you do. When you feel that you have less work, I would suggest the following:
- Take on additional responsibilities yourself.
- Help your co-workers with their tasks.
- High performance might also lead to a transfer to another branch within the Group.
- In a situation where you have less work, there is ample opportunity to learn new things.
- You mentioned that "most of the time you are idle." This could be observed by others and might be the reason for not being given additional responsibilities. Instead, ensure that whatever work you do is accurate and delivered on time. This is crucial to note.
Advice,
Karthik
From India, Madras
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Firstly, don't get bored at your work; instead, love your job and what you do. When you feel that you have less work, I would suggest the following:
- Take on additional responsibilities yourself.
- Help your co-workers with their tasks.
- High performance might also lead to a transfer to another branch within the Group.
- In a situation where you have less work, there is ample opportunity to learn new things.
- You mentioned that "most of the time you are idle." This could be observed by others and might be the reason for not being given additional responsibilities. Instead, ensure that whatever work you do is accurate and delivered on time. This is crucial to note.
Advice,
Karthik
From India, Madras
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Please try to think out of box and take this as a challenge and make this as an opportunity to show your creativity in your positions. with regards,
From India, Madras
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From India, Madras
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Thanks, Karthik. I would be more than happy to help my coworkers, provided I know what they do and that they are willing to pass that information to me. As I have mentioned earlier, they are quite happy among themselves and do not like an intruder unless some concrete steps are taken by my boss to include me in their work. My boss has never taken any initiative in the past year to sit and talk to me along with them and make it clear to them that I am also part of their team. Worst of all, I do not understand why he does not permit me to speak to HR.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Hello,
I am back.
I have been seeing all the reply posts. Some nice suggestions too.
First thing, I have to appreciate your zeal to do more. Keep it up.
Don't get disheartened—every day is a new day.
Always love your job and not the company.
Go on with the job for a fixed time of say a month or two, and even then if the situation remains, without second thoughts jump to a new company.
Not all companies give you the same situation. Job hopping is a useful excuse too.
Regards,
Samant Raj
From India, Secunderabad
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I am back.
I have been seeing all the reply posts. Some nice suggestions too.
First thing, I have to appreciate your zeal to do more. Keep it up.
Don't get disheartened—every day is a new day.
Always love your job and not the company.
Go on with the job for a fixed time of say a month or two, and even then if the situation remains, without second thoughts jump to a new company.
Not all companies give you the same situation. Job hopping is a useful excuse too.
Regards,
Samant Raj
From India, Secunderabad
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Please, I want to stay with the organization as I see a good future, provided I can get through this boss. This organization has all the departments that I would love to rotate within, which, in case of job hopping, is a probability. Please tell me how I can get my boss to speak to HR along with me so that he also has a better understanding of my skills. Maybe the HR, if they think it is suitable, can shift me to other branches/offices where I can add more value.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Same old saying...love your job nt ur company.I belive u love ur job...then wats the wrong with u
From India, Madras
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From India, Madras
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No, I do not love the current profile the way I love the other profile. That was the only reason I joined them since my boss said I would be given work on the other profile. However, it seems it was all in the air. Now I want him to be accountable for that and not just give me false assurances.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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i do understand wats happening.Wat is ur designation?wat work is given to u?Jus wanna knw.Is it match with all...and want to knw the promises given by ur boss??
From India, Madras
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From India, Madras
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Dear,
It's very simple. You said that most of the time you sit idle. At that time, think of innovative and creative ideas for doing your present work to impress him/her. Also, have a talk with him. Before that, just think that you are right. Put yourself in the shoes of your boss and definitely, you will find a solution.
Don't wait for someone to come and solve your problem one fine day. Start immediately to solve your problem yourself.
Good Luck...
From India, Bangalore
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It's very simple. You said that most of the time you sit idle. At that time, think of innovative and creative ideas for doing your present work to impress him/her. Also, have a talk with him. Before that, just think that you are right. Put yourself in the shoes of your boss and definitely, you will find a solution.
Don't wait for someone to come and solve your problem one fine day. Start immediately to solve your problem yourself.
Good Luck...
From India, Bangalore
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Well, I handle a one-man support function, which is a small one with very little work. I am very much interested in doing some analytical work relating to our sales department, which is what I was promised. Even after a year, I am still at square one.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Can someone throw light on what kind of creativity can come out in a support function with hardly any interaction with outside/inside world
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Hey friend,
Don't worry, this is a silly matter. People who sideline are the ones who are most insecure. Your boss must have identified certain key qualities which he is lacking; that could be one of the reasons why people sideline. A good leader is the one who will always be on the giving edge and will be contributing.
Identify your key strengths and improve upon your weaknesses. You have to be more assertive in proving your stand.
If you identify your strengths, you will gain confidence. Do a little bit of exercise, but not to scare your boss with your muscles, but for you to gain confidence.
As Mukesh suggested, talk to him when he is in a good mood and try to identify why he is behaving like that.
There are certain people who cannot handle managerial positions because they lack the spirit of sharing.
Remember, the law of nature says "as you sow so shall you reap"; whatever you give, you will receive it back the same thing in no time. You can experience this by saying hello to your colleagues every day; within a week, you will receive many hellos from many people. It is true.
Identify your strengths and see whether you are a perfect fit for the job that you are handling, or else you need to identify a department where you are a perfect fit.
Regards,
Fazel
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Don't worry, this is a silly matter. People who sideline are the ones who are most insecure. Your boss must have identified certain key qualities which he is lacking; that could be one of the reasons why people sideline. A good leader is the one who will always be on the giving edge and will be contributing.
Identify your key strengths and improve upon your weaknesses. You have to be more assertive in proving your stand.
If you identify your strengths, you will gain confidence. Do a little bit of exercise, but not to scare your boss with your muscles, but for you to gain confidence.
As Mukesh suggested, talk to him when he is in a good mood and try to identify why he is behaving like that.
There are certain people who cannot handle managerial positions because they lack the spirit of sharing.
Remember, the law of nature says "as you sow so shall you reap"; whatever you give, you will receive it back the same thing in no time. You can experience this by saying hello to your colleagues every day; within a week, you will receive many hellos from many people. It is true.
Identify your strengths and see whether you are a perfect fit for the job that you are handling, or else you need to identify a department where you are a perfect fit.
Regards,
Fazel
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It is quite natural and is happening in every organization. I had also felt the same. I kept my cool, and I am confident that if we have the ability to think positively, no one can stop us from growing.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Since you know what you wanted to do, the best solution would be to accept and look for the kind of profile you wanted and don’t get demotivated as this is not the end.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Attend the interview, and if you get an opportunity at another organization, it means that the organization has identified your capability. Pay attention to how your current superior behaves with you. Don't get discouraged. Stay strong, my friend!
From India, Ahmadabad
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From India, Ahmadabad
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Hi friend,
Don't be bogged down with this scenario as it is a very common feeling. We feel we are underutilized, and that's because of the following reasons:
1. Expectation setting during the interview process.
2. Your objective in work.
3. Your values, who is governing you more than your principle (ruled by heart more than head). Just my notion..
So having read most of your replies (if I was in your shoes), here's something which I would have tried:
1. Try your best to create a space among the team. Don't get involved in any office politics and try to create a clean image in my office. Try to at least win over a couple of friends.
2. You will have to prove your unique ability to your team/boss, which is of value to your team. For example, master skills in Excel, PowerPoint, or any job related to your functional profile.
3. Try to provide some additional help to any of your friends so that they can socially acknowledge your help.
4. Be on time at work and prove your sincerity/dedication among your team. (Refer to point 1)
5. You can also try sending all your team members, including your boss, a daily sitcom, nice quote, thought of the day, etc.
You might also realize that if it's a small setup and there is only a limited amount of work, and if your boss thinks your salary drawn is justified by the amount of work, so be it... Enjoy the state and use the leisure time for your self-development. :)
Kudos,
Handsome
From India, New Delhi
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Don't be bogged down with this scenario as it is a very common feeling. We feel we are underutilized, and that's because of the following reasons:
1. Expectation setting during the interview process.
2. Your objective in work.
3. Your values, who is governing you more than your principle (ruled by heart more than head). Just my notion..
So having read most of your replies (if I was in your shoes), here's something which I would have tried:
1. Try your best to create a space among the team. Don't get involved in any office politics and try to create a clean image in my office. Try to at least win over a couple of friends.
2. You will have to prove your unique ability to your team/boss, which is of value to your team. For example, master skills in Excel, PowerPoint, or any job related to your functional profile.
3. Try to provide some additional help to any of your friends so that they can socially acknowledge your help.
4. Be on time at work and prove your sincerity/dedication among your team. (Refer to point 1)
5. You can also try sending all your team members, including your boss, a daily sitcom, nice quote, thought of the day, etc.
You might also realize that if it's a small setup and there is only a limited amount of work, and if your boss thinks your salary drawn is justified by the amount of work, so be it... Enjoy the state and use the leisure time for your self-development. :)
Kudos,
Handsome
From India, New Delhi
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Dear, please help.
All I can tell you from my experience is that you shouldn't be rude to anyone in the office. Every morning, tell and promise yourself that today you want to be happy no matter what happens. Avoid getting into any kind of argument; be polite. At home, we can talk however we like, but the office is our second home. However, don't feel obligated to consider everybody as your friend or enemy. Put on a mask in the form of a smile, greet others with politeness, and listen to them. You may have only one year of working experience in that office, but many of us have given 5 to 6 years in some companies. Sometimes, we leave for better opportunities without receiving enough respect before departing. Please try to understand this perspective. View any work that comes your way as an opportunity to showcase your skills. Do it sincerely; that's all I can tell you. We all come from different backgrounds, and it takes time to get along with everybody. Each office has its own environment; follow the norms but don't stay silent as you need to keep gaining experience. Politely communicate with your boss and try to make them understand whenever possible. Remember their birthdays and wish them; this action shows how much importance you give them in your professional life.
Seema
From India, Bangalore
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All I can tell you from my experience is that you shouldn't be rude to anyone in the office. Every morning, tell and promise yourself that today you want to be happy no matter what happens. Avoid getting into any kind of argument; be polite. At home, we can talk however we like, but the office is our second home. However, don't feel obligated to consider everybody as your friend or enemy. Put on a mask in the form of a smile, greet others with politeness, and listen to them. You may have only one year of working experience in that office, but many of us have given 5 to 6 years in some companies. Sometimes, we leave for better opportunities without receiving enough respect before departing. Please try to understand this perspective. View any work that comes your way as an opportunity to showcase your skills. Do it sincerely; that's all I can tell you. We all come from different backgrounds, and it takes time to get along with everybody. Each office has its own environment; follow the norms but don't stay silent as you need to keep gaining experience. Politely communicate with your boss and try to make them understand whenever possible. Remember their birthdays and wish them; this action shows how much importance you give them in your professional life.
Seema
From India, Bangalore
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First, you should know about yourself. It is easy by using SWOT analysis. Make your mind clear about where your strengths lie.
Second, know your KRAs and KPIs. Sketch your profile to meet them. Match KRAs with the SWOT analysis. This will help you identify areas where you are lacking. Concentrate on the mismatched points and work towards overcoming them.
It seems your boss is articulate, not an orator. Therefore, you should be very careful with your vocabulary. Try to understand his language style, mannerisms, and influence. Change your attitude towards others to be supportive. Gain the confidence of your colleagues that you are suitable for the position. This will diminish your boss's negative perception of you.
Moreover, ensure your boss does not realize that you are trying to outsmart him.
All the best. SMS
From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
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Second, know your KRAs and KPIs. Sketch your profile to meet them. Match KRAs with the SWOT analysis. This will help you identify areas where you are lacking. Concentrate on the mismatched points and work towards overcoming them.
It seems your boss is articulate, not an orator. Therefore, you should be very careful with your vocabulary. Try to understand his language style, mannerisms, and influence. Change your attitude towards others to be supportive. Gain the confidence of your colleagues that you are suitable for the position. This will diminish your boss's negative perception of you.
Moreover, ensure your boss does not realize that you are trying to outsmart him.
All the best. SMS
From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
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You can also try speaking to someone senior in the organization with whom you share a good rapport or are comfortable with. Not only will he/she be able to give you advice on tackling this situation but also give you some insights on how to escalate the issue in the organization if need be.
From India, New Delhi
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From India, New Delhi
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Hi,
What you can do is talk to him and help him understand your skills and knowledge. Also, try to be friendly with other employees to create a healthy environment for yourself. This will make it easier to work during working hours.
Your boss has the impression that you don't get friendly with any employee, which is probably why you may have difficulty working in a team. However, I believe all these problems can be resolved if you implement my strategy.
Best of luck,
Manjula Singh
GM (HR & Admin)
From India, New Delhi
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What you can do is talk to him and help him understand your skills and knowledge. Also, try to be friendly with other employees to create a healthy environment for yourself. This will make it easier to work during working hours.
Your boss has the impression that you don't get friendly with any employee, which is probably why you may have difficulty working in a team. However, I believe all these problems can be resolved if you implement my strategy.
Best of luck,
Manjula Singh
GM (HR & Admin)
From India, New Delhi
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Hi,
I have gone through your post, and this problem is faced by many, especially in the beginning when you are in the process of settling down in a new organization. The solution will not be easy to come by, especially if your boss is a tricky one, which you have to find out from your sources within the company. Let me tell you it won't be that easy either. Find out in a subtle way. Overtly don't take any PANGA with your boss because he may prove to be too strong for you. Maybe your boss is either ignorant or insecure, and he may be feeling that if you prove too competent, you will take his place subsequently. Address his insecurity, convince him that you are there to help him in the best possible way. I hope you understand that overtly you have to prove your competence and loyalty to your boss, and covertly you have to find out the reasons for his reluctance to assign more responsibility to you. Take care of his deficiencies, and I am sure that he may have very many. Last but not least, be patient and never get angry. Look for opportunities outside the company as well, but don't look for the escape route so easily. You can call me on this cell if required - 09226829191.
All the best,
Col. Virendra
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I have gone through your post, and this problem is faced by many, especially in the beginning when you are in the process of settling down in a new organization. The solution will not be easy to come by, especially if your boss is a tricky one, which you have to find out from your sources within the company. Let me tell you it won't be that easy either. Find out in a subtle way. Overtly don't take any PANGA with your boss because he may prove to be too strong for you. Maybe your boss is either ignorant or insecure, and he may be feeling that if you prove too competent, you will take his place subsequently. Address his insecurity, convince him that you are there to help him in the best possible way. I hope you understand that overtly you have to prove your competence and loyalty to your boss, and covertly you have to find out the reasons for his reluctance to assign more responsibility to you. Take care of his deficiencies, and I am sure that he may have very many. Last but not least, be patient and never get angry. Look for opportunities outside the company as well, but don't look for the escape route so easily. You can call me on this cell if required - 09226829191.
All the best,
Col. Virendra
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Hi, I am new here. Regarding your problem, talk to him about your current profile and the responsibilities you want to take. Doing nothing will deteriorate your skills. Secondly, get it cleared 'all aspects'. If there is a higher boss with whom you are comfortable talking, then clear the matter. No boss would like to keep his people idle.
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Dear Friend,
In my opinion, you should go to your boss and ask him about the complications you are facing. Don't approach it in a complaining way; try to explain the type of problem you are experiencing and seek guidance on how to resolve it with your boss's help. By involving your boss, it will definitely prove beneficial.
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In my opinion, you should go to your boss and ask him about the complications you are facing. Don't approach it in a complaining way; try to explain the type of problem you are experiencing and seek guidance on how to resolve it with your boss's help. By involving your boss, it will definitely prove beneficial.
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Hi,
You need to do a few things to improve upon the present situation. As you have written, you are idle, feel marginalized, and needless to mention a bit frustrated as well. As a first step to reverse the situation, you need to talk to your boss. Request a personal meeting with him and express that you value his feedback to facilitate desired behavior modification in you. Listen to his feedback without reacting to it. Take notes if necessary and reflect on past situations to evaluate the feedback. This way, you will identify areas for improvement.
Secondly, please do not be rude to others, regardless of whether they are rude to you. Reacting rudely will only exacerbate the situation. Respond to everyone in a polite manner. Make it a habit. Consistently practicing this over time will alter everyone's perception of your behavior, and I am confident that nobody will ignore you.
Best of luck,
Mohan
From India
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You need to do a few things to improve upon the present situation. As you have written, you are idle, feel marginalized, and needless to mention a bit frustrated as well. As a first step to reverse the situation, you need to talk to your boss. Request a personal meeting with him and express that you value his feedback to facilitate desired behavior modification in you. Listen to his feedback without reacting to it. Take notes if necessary and reflect on past situations to evaluate the feedback. This way, you will identify areas for improvement.
Secondly, please do not be rude to others, regardless of whether they are rude to you. Reacting rudely will only exacerbate the situation. Respond to everyone in a polite manner. Make it a habit. Consistently practicing this over time will alter everyone's perception of your behavior, and I am confident that nobody will ignore you.
Best of luck,
Mohan
From India
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I feel you should sit down with your boss and try to sort out the issues. Ask for time before you start a one-on-one with him. Please prepare yourself, and if necessary, list down specific examples of your achievements. Be assertive and not aggressive. Also, talk about his strengths, etc. I feel this should break the ice, and you would be successful.
Regards, Daleep (doctor57)
From India, Delhi
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Regards, Daleep (doctor57)
From India, Delhi
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It's good that you don't want to change your job because of anybody else, but if that one individual is your boss and you are not able to learn anything while working, then in my opinion, it is better to change your job.
From India, Bangalore
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From India, Bangalore
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Hi!
Firstly, check if this issue is happening only to you or if other colleagues are also reporting it to your boss.
Secondly, ask your boss about the goals set for the current financial year and discuss with them how to proceed.
Thirdly, gain a clear understanding of "all aspects of work." Also, could you inform me if your company conducts formal and informal feedback sessions that shed light on areas of improvement for employees, and if corresponding measures are taken?
Give it a try and let me know what works for you.
Regards,
Jaipreet.
From India, Gurgaon
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Firstly, check if this issue is happening only to you or if other colleagues are also reporting it to your boss.
Secondly, ask your boss about the goals set for the current financial year and discuss with them how to proceed.
Thirdly, gain a clear understanding of "all aspects of work." Also, could you inform me if your company conducts formal and informal feedback sessions that shed light on areas of improvement for employees, and if corresponding measures are taken?
Give it a try and let me know what works for you.
Regards,
Jaipreet.
From India, Gurgaon
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Hi,
I would suggest that you resign from this company straightaway. If you are hesitating due to a specific reason, it's not a viable solution. You are wasting your learning time and demotivating your career growth. Look beyond your current situation; there are plenty of opportunities available. With one year of experience, you surely have good companies to choose from. Regularly apply to job portals and transition to a better job. If there is work available, you shouldn't hesitate to explore it.
Switch to a better job and immerse yourself in the new corporate world. Avoid getting entangled in office politics and focus on finding solutions.
Thank you.
From India, Indore
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I would suggest that you resign from this company straightaway. If you are hesitating due to a specific reason, it's not a viable solution. You are wasting your learning time and demotivating your career growth. Look beyond your current situation; there are plenty of opportunities available. With one year of experience, you surely have good companies to choose from. Regularly apply to job portals and transition to a better job. If there is work available, you shouldn't hesitate to explore it.
Switch to a better job and immerse yourself in the new corporate world. Avoid getting entangled in office politics and focus on finding solutions.
Thank you.
From India, Indore
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I think in this situation you should try for another good job and leave from the current place as early as possible
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Hi buddy,
When you feel you are not important, just prove yourself by getting involved in everything from small activities to big shots. Deal with people, be expressive, and come out as a winner.
The thing is that although you have talent, if you don't come out, it will remain unnoticed.
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When you feel you are not important, just prove yourself by getting involved in everything from small activities to big shots. Deal with people, be expressive, and come out as a winner.
The thing is that although you have talent, if you don't come out, it will remain unnoticed.
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if u are confident that you can do much more than given to u ,look for a change, u r wasting ur time and skills
From India, Hyderabad
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From India, Hyderabad
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Just ignore it. Put your requests in writing so that you have proof that you are proactive. If he does not assign any special assignment to you, you may want to take one up by yourself and add it to your performance review sheet.
From India, Madras
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From India, Madras
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Hi,
If you really feel that there is some problem with your boss, then it's of no use talking to him again and again. This will only worsen the matter further. The best option would be to write in confidence to the boss's boss. Explain to him in detail about the problem you are facing and also show him the emails you sent to your boss. I hope he listens to you. And in case this also doesn't work, then you have to be very strict and talk to your boss seriously but not aggressively. Jot down whatever vital tasks you have done and discuss them. You should only show your positive and bubbly attitude; mind it, don't show your dejected look.
Okay, let me know what the result was.
My email: rahul_bimt@yahoo.com
Take care,
RV
From India, Delhi
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If you really feel that there is some problem with your boss, then it's of no use talking to him again and again. This will only worsen the matter further. The best option would be to write in confidence to the boss's boss. Explain to him in detail about the problem you are facing and also show him the emails you sent to your boss. I hope he listens to you. And in case this also doesn't work, then you have to be very strict and talk to your boss seriously but not aggressively. Jot down whatever vital tasks you have done and discuss them. You should only show your positive and bubbly attitude; mind it, don't show your dejected look.
Okay, let me know what the result was.
My email: rahul_bimt@yahoo.com
Take care,
RV
From India, Delhi
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Hi, First have a one to one with your boss , if that does not work, then move on at the right opportunity. Regards
From India, Bangalore
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From India, Bangalore
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My friend, I think you can afford to lose the job at hand and you are not happy about the things happening with you. The solution may lie in setting your priorities and asking yourself, "What do you want?" Not every time do we have all the options. But persistence is the answer to many things.
From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
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From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
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Hi deepati, Good suggestion. Do you know any short courses releated to HR. Or HR Sites who tells us recent developments in the market. Regards, Niyati
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Hi,
I'm going through a similar experience, and I'm working on a solution. Maybe this will help. I have a set list of Key Result Areas (KRAs) that I've been asked to work on. I've prepared a document - an Excel sheet - that shows my KRAs, work done and in progress, challenges faced, and my suggestions. Leave space for your boss's comments as well. This document will help you understand the problem areas. Send this to your boss. It will enable him to understand your position as well.
The approach has to be transparent. Also, put it all in an email so that if one day someone questions why you aren't doing anything, you have a document to prove that you've discussed it with your boss.
Regards,
Tina Thomas
Bangalore
From India, Bangalore
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I'm going through a similar experience, and I'm working on a solution. Maybe this will help. I have a set list of Key Result Areas (KRAs) that I've been asked to work on. I've prepared a document - an Excel sheet - that shows my KRAs, work done and in progress, challenges faced, and my suggestions. Leave space for your boss's comments as well. This document will help you understand the problem areas. Send this to your boss. It will enable him to understand your position as well.
The approach has to be transparent. Also, put it all in an email so that if one day someone questions why you aren't doing anything, you have a document to prove that you've discussed it with your boss.
Regards,
Tina Thomas
Bangalore
From India, Bangalore
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Sadly, I think you are wasting your time with this jerk. Reading your replies, it would appear you have done nearly all you can to address this situation. I get the impression that your boss and co-workers do not want you around, though I accept that if that were the case, he would have found a way to dismiss you by now. It is also evident that you have skills, experience, and a work ethic that another employer would jump at the chance to take on board.
Use your spare time to research other companies in the industry sectors that interest you and take your skills to them. Better yet, go work for a competitor to your current employer and help them put these jerks out of business.
From Australia, Melbourne
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Use your spare time to research other companies in the industry sectors that interest you and take your skills to them. Better yet, go work for a competitor to your current employer and help them put these jerks out of business.
From Australia, Melbourne
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Hi, Now you should not bother about your boss behaviour with you, try to mix with other departments employee and see how you can help them from your work aspect regards, Deepa
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Hi,
Seniors normally tend to become bosses, whereas they should try to become leaders. Since it's a small organization, your boss wants to enjoy the feeling of being "all important." Your patience is being put to a great test here.
Try to get close to some important senior-level people and also your peer group. Spend time with them to gain insight into their feelings about the workings of your department. Keep reading good material and stay updated on what is happening in your field.
Also, avoid being rude to people to prevent anyone from pointing an accusing finger at you. Make sure to get noticed at important points. Begin interacting with employees through emails by sending a Thought of the Day or some motivating messages. On employees' birthdays, go to their seats to wish them.
The crucial thing is to enjoy what you are doing, so don't let these things bother you.
Happy working,
Namarata
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Seniors normally tend to become bosses, whereas they should try to become leaders. Since it's a small organization, your boss wants to enjoy the feeling of being "all important." Your patience is being put to a great test here.
Try to get close to some important senior-level people and also your peer group. Spend time with them to gain insight into their feelings about the workings of your department. Keep reading good material and stay updated on what is happening in your field.
Also, avoid being rude to people to prevent anyone from pointing an accusing finger at you. Make sure to get noticed at important points. Begin interacting with employees through emails by sending a Thought of the Day or some motivating messages. On employees' birthdays, go to their seats to wish them.
The crucial thing is to enjoy what you are doing, so don't let these things bother you.
Happy working,
Namarata
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Batter you leave this job and search for new job, after doing every thing if things are not moving in positive directions.
If you continue in this job, you will loose faith in you. Once it happens, very difficult to recover.
Remember you are equally responsible, what is happening with you.
Act now; decide before it’s too late.
Regards
Malhotra
From India, Ahmadabad
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If you continue in this job, you will loose faith in you. Once it happens, very difficult to recover.
Remember you are equally responsible, what is happening with you.
Act now; decide before it’s too late.
Regards
Malhotra
From India, Ahmadabad
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Hi,
Since you are sitting idle most of the time, why not try to analyze the bottlenecks in the processes of HR? Try to identify areas that can be improved upon. Come up with your own ideas after conducting research and analysis. After this, present your findings to your reporting head/s in the form of a decent formal presentation. This approach will not only showcase your positive attitude but also demonstrate the initiatives you have taken.
Think it over.
Goodbye
From Australia
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Since you are sitting idle most of the time, why not try to analyze the bottlenecks in the processes of HR? Try to identify areas that can be improved upon. Come up with your own ideas after conducting research and analysis. After this, present your findings to your reporting head/s in the form of a decent formal presentation. This approach will not only showcase your positive attitude but also demonstrate the initiatives you have taken.
Think it over.
Goodbye
From Australia
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Hi,
Never mind doing this. Quickly compare yourself with your manager in terms of competencies and the threats he/she faces because of this. If so, demonstrate to your manager how supportive you can be and the advantage he/she will have.
Please understand that such opportunities will not be given freely, so you have to watch out, grab them without any delay, and prove your capabilities.
If still nothing works, remember: the world is full of opportunities :)
Regards,
From India, Madras
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Never mind doing this. Quickly compare yourself with your manager in terms of competencies and the threats he/she faces because of this. If so, demonstrate to your manager how supportive you can be and the advantage he/she will have.
Please understand that such opportunities will not be given freely, so you have to watch out, grab them without any delay, and prove your capabilities.
If still nothing works, remember: the world is full of opportunities :)
Regards,
From India, Madras
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Hi,
The world is a peculiar one if you make it complex. Simply tell your boss that if he does not want your support, then there are plenty more jobs in the market. Approach the senior authority above your boss with sufficient proof. Confront him if he is behaving poorly and suggest that he resign if he cannot take care of his juniors.
It is better to face challenges with courage than to live in fear every day. Turn off the negative thoughts and enjoy life happily.
Regards,
Deepak
From India, Gurgaon
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The world is a peculiar one if you make it complex. Simply tell your boss that if he does not want your support, then there are plenty more jobs in the market. Approach the senior authority above your boss with sufficient proof. Confront him if he is behaving poorly and suggest that he resign if he cannot take care of his juniors.
It is better to face challenges with courage than to live in fear every day. Turn off the negative thoughts and enjoy life happily.
Regards,
Deepak
From India, Gurgaon
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Hi,
There is office politics everywhere. In your case, I believe you are too much of a workaholic. That is not wrong; however, do whatever is required of you. Sometimes, don't take too many initiatives. Give it time - let your boss come back to you for additional work. Do whatever is required of you and then go for breaks with other people whenever they take a break. From here on, your facial expressions should not show that you are getting less work. Stop talking about work with them. Talk about something else with your boss and co-workers and get along. This way, you can turn the momentum your way. See this with a positive frame of mind. I will tell you - practically, I did it myself once.
Regards,
Soundar
From India, Raipur
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There is office politics everywhere. In your case, I believe you are too much of a workaholic. That is not wrong; however, do whatever is required of you. Sometimes, don't take too many initiatives. Give it time - let your boss come back to you for additional work. Do whatever is required of you and then go for breaks with other people whenever they take a break. From here on, your facial expressions should not show that you are getting less work. Stop talking about work with them. Talk about something else with your boss and co-workers and get along. This way, you can turn the momentum your way. See this with a positive frame of mind. I will tell you - practically, I did it myself once.
Regards,
Soundar
From India, Raipur
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Hi,
There is office politics everywhere. In your case, I believe you are too much of a workaholic. That is not wrong; however, do whatever is required of you. Sometimes, don't take too many initiatives. Give it time - let your boss come back to you for additional work. Do whatever is required of you and then go for breaks with other people whenever they take a break. From here on, your facial expressions should not show that you are getting less work. Stop talking about work with them. Talk about something else with your boss and co-workers and get along. This way, you can turn the momentum your way. See this with a positive frame of mind. I will tell you - practically, I did it myself once.
Regards,
Soundar.
From India, Raipur
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There is office politics everywhere. In your case, I believe you are too much of a workaholic. That is not wrong; however, do whatever is required of you. Sometimes, don't take too many initiatives. Give it time - let your boss come back to you for additional work. Do whatever is required of you and then go for breaks with other people whenever they take a break. From here on, your facial expressions should not show that you are getting less work. Stop talking about work with them. Talk about something else with your boss and co-workers and get along. This way, you can turn the momentum your way. See this with a positive frame of mind. I will tell you - practically, I did it myself once.
Regards,
Soundar.
From India, Raipur
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I also had that kind of experience before, and what I did was improve myself.
1) Observe people's complaints (boss and colleagues) and strive for betterment.
2) Find your own goodness; it's within you. Practice good ethics and mind your attitude.
3) Keep learning; never stop. Avoid thinking you are clever enough.
4) Be diligent; prioritize your boss first, then your colleagues.
5) Practice patience consistently.
You know, I used to be nobody, but now I am a "somebody" to my colleagues and my demanding boss.
Last but not least, we must change ourselves first to influence others' perceptions.
Faiz
From Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur
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1) Observe people's complaints (boss and colleagues) and strive for betterment.
2) Find your own goodness; it's within you. Practice good ethics and mind your attitude.
3) Keep learning; never stop. Avoid thinking you are clever enough.
4) Be diligent; prioritize your boss first, then your colleagues.
5) Practice patience consistently.
You know, I used to be nobody, but now I am a "somebody" to my colleagues and my demanding boss.
Last but not least, we must change ourselves first to influence others' perceptions.
Faiz
From Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur
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Hi Bhavani,
I think it would be helpful if you could sit with your boss and tell him straight that you are feeling underutilized and explore further engagements. You could gently remind him of all the responsibilities you were detailed at the time of joining. I believe that if you are getting sidelined, it's also your fault. Show some character and stand up for yourself. I am sure no boss does not want a performer, and someone willing to take on more responsibilities proactively would be welcome. Don't lose heart, just lose some meekness!
From India, Mumbai
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I think it would be helpful if you could sit with your boss and tell him straight that you are feeling underutilized and explore further engagements. You could gently remind him of all the responsibilities you were detailed at the time of joining. I believe that if you are getting sidelined, it's also your fault. Show some character and stand up for yourself. I am sure no boss does not want a performer, and someone willing to take on more responsibilities proactively would be welcome. Don't lose heart, just lose some meekness!
From India, Mumbai
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Hi,
This is what I experience when working with a boss - it is not an easy job because everyone has their own way of thinking and mental approach. However, the best way to work with a boss or anyone else is to first observe what he/she likes or dislikes and then work accordingly. This will make life easier because flexibility is a good thing in nature.
M. Saleem Burdi
From Pakistan, Karachi
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This is what I experience when working with a boss - it is not an easy job because everyone has their own way of thinking and mental approach. However, the best way to work with a boss or anyone else is to first observe what he/she likes or dislikes and then work accordingly. This will make life easier because flexibility is a good thing in nature.
M. Saleem Burdi
From Pakistan, Karachi
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Hi,
Please do the self-introspection to identify what I am doing wrong, where I went wrong, how I spend my spare time, and how my relationship is with colleagues. Maintaining a good relationship with the line manager is very important for a peaceful life. Also, try to help the team achieve their goals in your spare time.
Politics often prevails in many organizations, but this can be limited by incorporating fun activities among the team, holding regular meetings, engaging in open discussions, etc.
Try it out... Wish you all the best.
Ashraf
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Please do the self-introspection to identify what I am doing wrong, where I went wrong, how I spend my spare time, and how my relationship is with colleagues. Maintaining a good relationship with the line manager is very important for a peaceful life. Also, try to help the team achieve their goals in your spare time.
Politics often prevails in many organizations, but this can be limited by incorporating fun activities among the team, holding regular meetings, engaging in open discussions, etc.
Try it out... Wish you all the best.
Ashraf
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Hi!
Probably a bit late in responding. I believe there is no deliberate attempt to harass you. This kind of problem is found more or less with every new joinee in almost every organization. The period in your case seems to have lengthened a bit as you are already one year old, and the title "new joinee" should have faded away by now.
Remember the group theory? When a new member joins a group, the acceptability is not natural and instant. It takes time for other group members (other staff) to be comfortable in your company and accept you as another team member. The more you interact, the sooner it happens. This, in fact, is a very crucial phase where the new member has to bear many unpleasant experiences and still has to maintain a pleasant and friendly attitude towards others.
Accept happily whatever job responsibilities you have and enjoy that with a happy heart. Your inner happiness will start reflecting on your face and in your behavior. And remember, people are always attracted to happy people and love to spend time with them. So the question of their being rude will not arise thereafter.
These kinds of problems may also appear because of an unspecified job description/job profile. Don't ask for any additional responsibility until the appraisal period. Often the power to entrust additional responsibility does not lie with the boss. Simply do not react, not even in your inner self, to your boss's rudeness for quite some time. His behavior will also start changing. If things don't improve, kindly consult your HR head.
All the best.
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Probably a bit late in responding. I believe there is no deliberate attempt to harass you. This kind of problem is found more or less with every new joinee in almost every organization. The period in your case seems to have lengthened a bit as you are already one year old, and the title "new joinee" should have faded away by now.
Remember the group theory? When a new member joins a group, the acceptability is not natural and instant. It takes time for other group members (other staff) to be comfortable in your company and accept you as another team member. The more you interact, the sooner it happens. This, in fact, is a very crucial phase where the new member has to bear many unpleasant experiences and still has to maintain a pleasant and friendly attitude towards others.
Accept happily whatever job responsibilities you have and enjoy that with a happy heart. Your inner happiness will start reflecting on your face and in your behavior. And remember, people are always attracted to happy people and love to spend time with them. So the question of their being rude will not arise thereafter.
These kinds of problems may also appear because of an unspecified job description/job profile. Don't ask for any additional responsibility until the appraisal period. Often the power to entrust additional responsibility does not lie with the boss. Simply do not react, not even in your inner self, to your boss's rudeness for quite some time. His behavior will also start changing. If things don't improve, kindly consult your HR head.
All the best.
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Dear All,
Thank you very much for the wonderful suggestions. Let me clarify that ours is a new setup, precisely 1 year old, and I am the only senior in terms of joining time after my boss and a fellow colleague. I have observed that when they joined, my boss used to discuss a lot of business with them together and make them competent to do the tasks, but he never involved me, even though he promised to include me as part of their team. I feel one possible reason for this rude behavior is that they now have an upper hand over me in terms of information.
From India, Mumbai
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Thank you very much for the wonderful suggestions. Let me clarify that ours is a new setup, precisely 1 year old, and I am the only senior in terms of joining time after my boss and a fellow colleague. I have observed that when they joined, my boss used to discuss a lot of business with them together and make them competent to do the tasks, but he never involved me, even though he promised to include me as part of their team. I feel one possible reason for this rude behavior is that they now have an upper hand over me in terms of information.
From India, Mumbai
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Chill out, man. It seems that you're getting too hyper; take it easy. Try this out: give your boss a last chance. Sincerely try to ask him what really is the problem — is it personal or professional? Speak about how you feel regarding his behavior. If this doesn't succeed, consider opting for another branch in your office. If nothing positive happens, start looking for a change.
From India, Pune
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From India, Pune
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I think you should be taking initiative. If you are idle and your boss is sidelining you, use the time for interactive purposes. Have icebreakers run in. Flow your proposals to your boss while having it cc'd to the operations. You need to build a rapport with the operations and take their support.
Also, if your boss suggests that you are not interacting, prove him wrong. How often have you made your presence felt when you walk into the office? Have it felt. Greet everyone; communication is the key.
If you have all things at your end right, I am sure your boss will be forced to back you up. Hope it helps.
Thanks.
From India, Mumbai
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Also, if your boss suggests that you are not interacting, prove him wrong. How often have you made your presence felt when you walk into the office? Have it felt. Greet everyone; communication is the key.
If you have all things at your end right, I am sure your boss will be forced to back you up. Hope it helps.
Thanks.
From India, Mumbai
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Dear,
I have read all the replies to your post, and I can say one thing to you, that "You have got the solution to your problem."
That's why whatever people are suggesting to you, you are not being able to accept it as you already know what to do. (Ask your heart, isn't that right?)
I am sure you have the solution with you. :)
From India, Pune
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I have read all the replies to your post, and I can say one thing to you, that "You have got the solution to your problem."
That's why whatever people are suggesting to you, you are not being able to accept it as you already know what to do. (Ask your heart, isn't that right?)
I am sure you have the solution with you. :)
From India, Pune
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My dear, let me tell you one effective rule: no boss would want to hear cribbing sessions on any day. Alternatively, you should consider taking a logical and impersonal approach to addressing the problem. This means framing your problems as issues that affect the organization rather than just yourself. By doing so, you will increase your chances of success. Remember, you can do it.
From India, Nagpur
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From India, Nagpur
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If nothing seems to workout then..... start looking for some better opportunity. I am sure you will get it soon and start focussing on your capabilities. Rgds Pratibha
From India, Calcutta
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From India, Calcutta
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Dear Brother,
Wishing you a bright future. Don't get disappointed by the behavior of your boss. Just start working. If your boss won't provide you the chance to work, start finding work. You will find lots of people getting bored with their work and they want some kind of help. Start helping them. At first, there is a possibility that they might not give you a chance, but keep trying. Someone will definitely help you out. See who has more work and tell him that you want to learn the work and also you want to help him do his work on time. Also, never criticize anyone. You have a long way to go. Remember one thing: your boss is the one who selected you, so there is no question that he hates you or doesn't want you to work for him. Never say to anyone that you usually sit idle.
In the end, I would say, try finding work, and the only way that will help you get busy is work. Work like a team player. I hope this approach would help you build good relationships and a position in your organization. If you still have any confusion, you can call me anytime on 0-9811865487/9312763219.
Regards,
Sant
From India
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Wishing you a bright future. Don't get disappointed by the behavior of your boss. Just start working. If your boss won't provide you the chance to work, start finding work. You will find lots of people getting bored with their work and they want some kind of help. Start helping them. At first, there is a possibility that they might not give you a chance, but keep trying. Someone will definitely help you out. See who has more work and tell him that you want to learn the work and also you want to help him do his work on time. Also, never criticize anyone. You have a long way to go. Remember one thing: your boss is the one who selected you, so there is no question that he hates you or doesn't want you to work for him. Never say to anyone that you usually sit idle.
In the end, I would say, try finding work, and the only way that will help you get busy is work. Work like a team player. I hope this approach would help you build good relationships and a position in your organization. If you still have any confusion, you can call me anytime on 0-9811865487/9312763219.
Regards,
Sant
From India
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"Look before you leap" before taking up any job. It is always better to understand the KRI of the profile in detail. Okay, not that it is past, these are the few things that could be done:
1. No one is perfect; accept your situation.
2. Adopt a positive attitude.
3. Be cheerful at work.
4. Never show your frustration about this situation to your boss.
Things will surely change!
From India
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1. No one is perfect; accept your situation.
2. Adopt a positive attitude.
3. Be cheerful at work.
4. Never show your frustration about this situation to your boss.
Things will surely change!
From India
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Hi,
I have gone through your query and found that key information is still missing. We cannot reach any solution based on assumptions. What's your profile in your organization? What are your qualifications and credentials? Do not take it as internal politics, although it may be present. Instead, set it aside and consider your prospects within the organization. Evaluate your credentials, align them with your current profile, list down the tasks involved, and assess your own performance.
Sometimes, we may perceive ourselves as top performers in every field when that may not be the case. If you require proper guidance and solutions, please send me the necessary information.
Regards,
Taru
From India, New Delhi
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I have gone through your query and found that key information is still missing. We cannot reach any solution based on assumptions. What's your profile in your organization? What are your qualifications and credentials? Do not take it as internal politics, although it may be present. Instead, set it aside and consider your prospects within the organization. Evaluate your credentials, align them with your current profile, list down the tasks involved, and assess your own performance.
Sometimes, we may perceive ourselves as top performers in every field when that may not be the case. If you require proper guidance and solutions, please send me the necessary information.
Regards,
Taru
From India, New Delhi
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Hi,
The only solution lies with your boss. Look for the right time to discuss and clarify your duties and responsibilities with your boss, then work on them. It is already too late (i.e., 1 year). Consider looking for a change if necessary.
Regards,
Aarati
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The only solution lies with your boss. Look for the right time to discuss and clarify your duties and responsibilities with your boss, then work on them. It is already too late (i.e., 1 year). Consider looking for a change if necessary.
Regards,
Aarati
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Hi,
Always remember there are three sides to anything: your side, the other side, and the TRUTH. If I were in your place, I would have sat with my supervisor and discussed the matter. I would have included in my meeting the following things:
1. Current responsibilities that I am performing.
2. Extra responsibilities that I am capable of handling.
3. Growth perspective and my aims.
4. My views regarding the problem.
Show confidence, trust in your communication, and stay focused. Seek additional responsibilities and collect feedback on your past performance. Be open to criticism and learning. I am sure the problem will be resolved.
All the best.
Regards,
Cirus
From India
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Always remember there are three sides to anything: your side, the other side, and the TRUTH. If I were in your place, I would have sat with my supervisor and discussed the matter. I would have included in my meeting the following things:
1. Current responsibilities that I am performing.
2. Extra responsibilities that I am capable of handling.
3. Growth perspective and my aims.
4. My views regarding the problem.
Show confidence, trust in your communication, and stay focused. Seek additional responsibilities and collect feedback on your past performance. Be open to criticism and learning. I am sure the problem will be resolved.
All the best.
Regards,
Cirus
From India
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Hi,
IPR is a matter of understanding and cooperation. If you feel that you are being ignored and not given extra work to utilize your skill sets, then there is one room left to work on – be the best in your assignments so that no other can compete with you. Try to be cordial with your colleagues because any one of them could be near and dear to your boss, and someday they may provide positive feedback to your boss. Hence, your journey begins.
Wish you patience and continuous learning. One more thing – keep smiling.
Akhter Sayeed
09755023311
From India, Raipur
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IPR is a matter of understanding and cooperation. If you feel that you are being ignored and not given extra work to utilize your skill sets, then there is one room left to work on – be the best in your assignments so that no other can compete with you. Try to be cordial with your colleagues because any one of them could be near and dear to your boss, and someday they may provide positive feedback to your boss. Hence, your journey begins.
Wish you patience and continuous learning. One more thing – keep smiling.
Akhter Sayeed
09755023311
From India, Raipur
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You really can't do much in this... irrespective of the initiatives and all, nothing is going to happen. There are a few people who always do this; reasons are:
1. that might be his nature
2. insecurity
So, you either look out for a change or be there and instead of cribbing for work, do value addition to your career profile by studying HR/management articles or going for some certification courses and all. You can go for some distance diploma in HR and all. Stop thinking about him, and if you can't tolerate his activities, then have to look out for a change, or else have to agree with him for everything. Your call.
From India, Mumbai
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1. that might be his nature
2. insecurity
So, you either look out for a change or be there and instead of cribbing for work, do value addition to your career profile by studying HR/management articles or going for some certification courses and all. You can go for some distance diploma in HR and all. Stop thinking about him, and if you can't tolerate his activities, then have to look out for a change, or else have to agree with him for everything. Your call.
From India, Mumbai
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It's a power game everywhere, and we have to deal with it. He must be very insecure about his position, which he will never accept. You must have more knowledge. Do one thing: write an email to him regarding your problems and CC the senior-most (MD/CEO). It has helped me a lot during my ups and downs. Be clear about your abilities and what you expect. I am sure you will find a solution.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Hi Ranjana,
Are you sure writing to his immediate superior (who happens to be a CEO) will work? If you look at it from my viewpoint, I have never interacted with his boss. I do not know what kind of equation he has with his boss. My email will be read by him first and then by his boss (assuming his boss is busier). Above all, it will also make him feel like I am undermining his authority, and he may be better skilled in that instance to dismiss me from the office.
From India, Mumbai
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Are you sure writing to his immediate superior (who happens to be a CEO) will work? If you look at it from my viewpoint, I have never interacted with his boss. I do not know what kind of equation he has with his boss. My email will be read by him first and then by his boss (assuming his boss is busier). Above all, it will also make him feel like I am undermining his authority, and he may be better skilled in that instance to dismiss me from the office.
From India, Mumbai
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Hi,
Is there anybody who is the boss of your boss? This is a very common phenomenon in HR.
What you can do is start taking initiatives. Begin organizing events that involve employee participation. Build committees and get things done. Slowly, you will gain acceptance from all employees. Always try to maintain your own stance and enrich your knowledge.
See if it works.
Regards,
Archana
From India, Pune
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Is there anybody who is the boss of your boss? This is a very common phenomenon in HR.
What you can do is start taking initiatives. Begin organizing events that involve employee participation. Build committees and get things done. Slowly, you will gain acceptance from all employees. Always try to maintain your own stance and enrich your knowledge.
See if it works.
Regards,
Archana
From India, Pune
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Hi Viji,
My boss had agreed at the time of my recruitment that he would involve me in all aspects of work. Did he mention anything in the appointment letter or written communication? You can ask him directly what he mentioned during the interview. Please be pleasant with him. What are the drawbacks from your side that you can improve on for your career? One thing, don't be idle in your office. Just try this approach again.
Regards,
Viji
From India, Madras
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My boss had agreed at the time of my recruitment that he would involve me in all aspects of work. Did he mention anything in the appointment letter or written communication? You can ask him directly what he mentioned during the interview. Please be pleasant with him. What are the drawbacks from your side that you can improve on for your career? One thing, don't be idle in your office. Just try this approach again.
Regards,
Viji
From India, Madras
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Hi,
Before suggesting anything, I would like to know how long this has been happening. I am sure it's not occurring from day one because you mentioned it after a year.
Secondly, consider your motivation level to seize this opportunity and join that company. Thirdly, evaluate the typology of your boss.
I believe it is crucial to introspect before taking any steps. Identify your weaknesses, address them, and make necessary corrections. Your boss undoubtedly possesses qualities that have led to their position, so observe and learn from them. Ask questions to gain insights and enhance your knowledge.
Every individual's work impacts the company's business in some way. Discover how your work contributes and have a discussion with your boss with an impartial mindset.
With thorough analysis, you can find a solution. Remember, this is not a quick fix; it requires a highly analytical approach.
Thank you,
Priyadarshee
From India, Pune
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Before suggesting anything, I would like to know how long this has been happening. I am sure it's not occurring from day one because you mentioned it after a year.
Secondly, consider your motivation level to seize this opportunity and join that company. Thirdly, evaluate the typology of your boss.
I believe it is crucial to introspect before taking any steps. Identify your weaknesses, address them, and make necessary corrections. Your boss undoubtedly possesses qualities that have led to their position, so observe and learn from them. Ask questions to gain insights and enhance your knowledge.
Every individual's work impacts the company's business in some way. Discover how your work contributes and have a discussion with your boss with an impartial mindset.
With thorough analysis, you can find a solution. Remember, this is not a quick fix; it requires a highly analytical approach.
Thank you,
Priyadarshee
From India, Pune
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It seems that you have tried many possible ways. Ask him to give more clarity on his feedback, like what makes him doubt your interpersonal skills. Be open to accepting the feedback so that you can work on it. Specify a few areas that you can additionally work on. Maybe there is some cold war between both of you; try to break that. Appreciate him occasionally, as sometimes you need to pamper the ego of the person.
From India, Hyderabad
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From India, Hyderabad
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Keep a direct link with ABOVE PEOPLE, which is not advised in normal circumstances, but anybody who wants to grow has to have some connection with the company's top brass. If your immediate superior is not helping your cause, there will be two reasons:
1) you are not capable of delivering what the company requires.
2) your boss is not feeling comfortable.
In the case of reason 1, if you want to talk to higher-ups, think before you speak. Because if you are unable to deliver in any given opportunity provided by your superiors, you are finished. If you are truly confident in yourself and want to prove your boss wrong, then I suggest you speak immediately to your boss's superior. It will lead to only two situations:
1) your boss will bark at you (which you may already be experiencing).
2) you will get an opportunity to prove your point.
So, I advise you to take a chance. If you lose the job, you can plead with your boss to retain it, or you can seize the opportunity to grow and advance your career.
From India, Hyderabad
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1) you are not capable of delivering what the company requires.
2) your boss is not feeling comfortable.
In the case of reason 1, if you want to talk to higher-ups, think before you speak. Because if you are unable to deliver in any given opportunity provided by your superiors, you are finished. If you are truly confident in yourself and want to prove your boss wrong, then I suggest you speak immediately to your boss's superior. It will lead to only two situations:
1) your boss will bark at you (which you may already be experiencing).
2) you will get an opportunity to prove your point.
So, I advise you to take a chance. If you lose the job, you can plead with your boss to retain it, or you can seize the opportunity to grow and advance your career.
From India, Hyderabad
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The only way to progress in your organization is to:
1. Prove your love for your work.
2. Prove it to yourself with conscience.
3. Then prove it to your boss - Change the way you think about yourself. Your attitude will automatically change in your boss's eyes as well.
4. Take criticism sportingly.
5. Keep moving towards what you want.
6. If you are creative enough, don't seek permissions from anyone to execute. You may not always receive it until you prove it practically.
Remember: "Every resistance is an opportunity. Be happy that you are growing."
From India, Bangalore
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1. Prove your love for your work.
2. Prove it to yourself with conscience.
3. Then prove it to your boss - Change the way you think about yourself. Your attitude will automatically change in your boss's eyes as well.
4. Take criticism sportingly.
5. Keep moving towards what you want.
6. If you are creative enough, don't seek permissions from anyone to execute. You may not always receive it until you prove it practically.
Remember: "Every resistance is an opportunity. Be happy that you are growing."
From India, Bangalore
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I belonged to your group of victims long back until I realized that "It is not others' rather your Boss's responsibility to identify and give you additional tasks" instead of advertising to your boss that you are worth more than what he has actually thought. BETTER ACCEPT AND APPRECIATE THE CHANGES. CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK. Things will change automatically. The universal truth from Srimad Bhagavad Gita always says CHANGE IS CONSTANT.
From India, Bangalore
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From India, Bangalore
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Hi Partha,
Please read the characters of Mahabharata, Kannan, and Saguni, and apply them in your office. Saguni initiates some puzzles against the Pandavas, and observe how Krishna solves them. Inputs from Chanakya will also be beneficial. Rama, who ruled the world for 18 thousand years, also faced politics and went to Dhandakaranyam. Remember, everything is for good.
With regards,
Partha
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Please read the characters of Mahabharata, Kannan, and Saguni, and apply them in your office. Saguni initiates some puzzles against the Pandavas, and observe how Krishna solves them. Inputs from Chanakya will also be beneficial. Rama, who ruled the world for 18 thousand years, also faced politics and went to Dhandakaranyam. Remember, everything is for good.
With regards,
Partha
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Hi,
Interacting and begging for work from your boss indicates that there may not be any tasks in your office currently that match your skill set. Perhaps your boss is waiting for more suitable assignments to come in. Give yourself and your boss some time, and consider exploring other job opportunities. If you have not made any mistakes, the only plausible explanation could be that your company currently does not have any available work to assign.
It might be more beneficial for you to start looking for a new job rather than waiting for a response from your boss. If you have exhausted all possible efforts to convince him, the next logical step is to seek a change.
Thanks and regards, Afshan
From India, Hyderabad
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Interacting and begging for work from your boss indicates that there may not be any tasks in your office currently that match your skill set. Perhaps your boss is waiting for more suitable assignments to come in. Give yourself and your boss some time, and consider exploring other job opportunities. If you have not made any mistakes, the only plausible explanation could be that your company currently does not have any available work to assign.
It might be more beneficial for you to start looking for a new job rather than waiting for a response from your boss. If you have exhausted all possible efforts to convince him, the next logical step is to seek a change.
Thanks and regards, Afshan
From India, Hyderabad
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Hi,
Please suggest a constructive solution at the earliest. I am really getting worked up with this boss of mine though the organization has loads of good people but in our other branches and offices.
You can be a good team player if you are confident enough to achieve your aim. You have to take the initiative in every work. But for this, you have to make some efforts because according to a proverb, "the only difference between ordinary and extraordinary is the only word, i.e., extra." So, put in some extra efforts. Very soon, you will definitely achieve whatever you want.
Regards,
Shraddha
From India, Vadodara
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Please suggest a constructive solution at the earliest. I am really getting worked up with this boss of mine though the organization has loads of good people but in our other branches and offices.
You can be a good team player if you are confident enough to achieve your aim. You have to take the initiative in every work. But for this, you have to make some efforts because according to a proverb, "the only difference between ordinary and extraordinary is the only word, i.e., extra." So, put in some extra efforts. Very soon, you will definitely achieve whatever you want.
Regards,
Shraddha
From India, Vadodara
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Hi Buddy,
It seems like most of us are just like you, sailing in the same boat.
Few suggestions, though it might take some guts to follow a few:
1. Leave the boss aside and try to get additional certifications and qualifications in your free time. Thank God for the paid time off you are receiving.
2. Request a transfer to another department.
3. Skip your boss and talk to your HR about your problems with your boss; make him look like a fool.
4. Send an email to your CEO and tell him you would like to work more, but your boss is detrimental to the progress of the company.
With these things, what's the worst that may happen? Think it over... nothing...
Go ahead and try out one of these, and let us know how you fared.
Cheers
From India, Mumbai
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It seems like most of us are just like you, sailing in the same boat.
Few suggestions, though it might take some guts to follow a few:
1. Leave the boss aside and try to get additional certifications and qualifications in your free time. Thank God for the paid time off you are receiving.
2. Request a transfer to another department.
3. Skip your boss and talk to your HR about your problems with your boss; make him look like a fool.
4. Send an email to your CEO and tell him you would like to work more, but your boss is detrimental to the progress of the company.
With these things, what's the worst that may happen? Think it over... nothing...
Go ahead and try out one of these, and let us know how you fared.
Cheers
From India, Mumbai
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Hi,
I have come to know about the situation. Please ignore him as he ignores you. The basic quality for an HR professional is to take initiative about the situation and resolve the problem. Do not wait for instructions about the work; check yourself on the work you are doing and start to involve yourself in the responsibilities with your colleagues and peers. Be active and do not show any frustrations on your face. Take the initiative to improve the current responsibilities in a better way. Engage with your activities and try to develop your skills.
From India, Bangalore
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I have come to know about the situation. Please ignore him as he ignores you. The basic quality for an HR professional is to take initiative about the situation and resolve the problem. Do not wait for instructions about the work; check yourself on the work you are doing and start to involve yourself in the responsibilities with your colleagues and peers. Be active and do not show any frustrations on your face. Take the initiative to improve the current responsibilities in a better way. Engage with your activities and try to develop your skills.
From India, Bangalore
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Hi i am totally agree with Dhananjay. do not show any frustrations in any case. Take initiative and do work as much u can. or you can mail to boss ka boss.
From India, Pune
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From India, Pune
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Hey, why do you try to prove your skill set among your colleagues and also build rapport with them so that they give you some responsibility where you get the opportunity to prove yourself? Your colleagues might recognize that, and it can also be noticed by your boss. If this doesn't work, ask him why he hired you because one year is a long time.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Sorry to hear what you are going through - it's the sad reality that nearly in all organizations we often have to navigate the politics that most times waste our positive energy. I have done the following which has worked for me sometimes:
Seek an audience with the boss even when he is the source of the problem. Try to stay as calm as possible because when you lose your cool, you either put him on the defensive or confirm the negative attitude he has towards you. If possible, document everything that has happened so far, and even when speaking to him, make it clear you are taking down notes - sometimes this scares nasty bosses as he does not know where you are likely to use it.
As has been suggested by others here, get a very specific job definition - JD, key result areas, etc. It should form the basis of any judgments you both make on the work relationship.
Unless he is the 'big kahuna' of your organization - he has a supervisor - and if the above fails - you may want to seek an audience with his boss.
As a last resort - you may want to seek a job in which you feel appreciated or like you are making a contribution. I always think there is no job that should rob me of my health and peace for a prolonged period of time. I refuse to become medicine-dependent because of a paycheck.
From Kenya
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Seek an audience with the boss even when he is the source of the problem. Try to stay as calm as possible because when you lose your cool, you either put him on the defensive or confirm the negative attitude he has towards you. If possible, document everything that has happened so far, and even when speaking to him, make it clear you are taking down notes - sometimes this scares nasty bosses as he does not know where you are likely to use it.
As has been suggested by others here, get a very specific job definition - JD, key result areas, etc. It should form the basis of any judgments you both make on the work relationship.
Unless he is the 'big kahuna' of your organization - he has a supervisor - and if the above fails - you may want to seek an audience with his boss.
As a last resort - you may want to seek a job in which you feel appreciated or like you are making a contribution. I always think there is no job that should rob me of my health and peace for a prolonged period of time. I refuse to become medicine-dependent because of a paycheck.
From Kenya
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Hi Sanjeev,
Absolutely I agree with your opinion. Throughout my working experience in HR line, this is the most powerful way to 'force' someone leave the organization.
The employer would not sack you because they know the risk better, instead they will do something that you can't accept their way..like humilating, sarcastic, denied the facts, blame for nothing and prejudice ...
It simply demoralized us a employee.
I hard gone through the experience. Well what can I do is look for other opportunity rather than spending my time working with these 'sarcastic' employer. I always believe that someone will appreciate my talent and hardwork for company..the only matter is the right time to find the right boss who know the value of appreciation.
Many company loose their talent simply they don't know how to value the talented people. Don't you believe that talented people always in 'risk' situation? Lately it happend to my organization. A young man with his result oriented simply get rid off by his sales manager..
The sales manager feel threaten by this young man achievement because he afraid one day he might lost his bowl of rice. By the way, the sales man is a honest guy and not that type of 'apple-polishing'. So what is the sales manager does is started to make this young man feel uncomfortable, with harsh word....simply is to 'force' him resign.
Off course the sales manager win the situation. I learnt a hard lesson from this situation. If you wish to sustain in this organization, you have to learn and blend in the culture..be 'apply polishing' and not to show that you are 'talented people''
Anyway this is my experience I would like to share with citeHR member. Remember none of the organization is perfect and office politic exist everywhere.
It depend on us how to perceive the situation....maybe in other way ..office politic make us be a better person ??? :?:
From Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur
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Absolutely I agree with your opinion. Throughout my working experience in HR line, this is the most powerful way to 'force' someone leave the organization.
The employer would not sack you because they know the risk better, instead they will do something that you can't accept their way..like humilating, sarcastic, denied the facts, blame for nothing and prejudice ...
It simply demoralized us a employee.
I hard gone through the experience. Well what can I do is look for other opportunity rather than spending my time working with these 'sarcastic' employer. I always believe that someone will appreciate my talent and hardwork for company..the only matter is the right time to find the right boss who know the value of appreciation.
Many company loose their talent simply they don't know how to value the talented people. Don't you believe that talented people always in 'risk' situation? Lately it happend to my organization. A young man with his result oriented simply get rid off by his sales manager..
The sales manager feel threaten by this young man achievement because he afraid one day he might lost his bowl of rice. By the way, the sales man is a honest guy and not that type of 'apple-polishing'. So what is the sales manager does is started to make this young man feel uncomfortable, with harsh word....simply is to 'force' him resign.
Off course the sales manager win the situation. I learnt a hard lesson from this situation. If you wish to sustain in this organization, you have to learn and blend in the culture..be 'apply polishing' and not to show that you are 'talented people''
Anyway this is my experience I would like to share with citeHR member. Remember none of the organization is perfect and office politic exist everywhere.
It depend on us how to perceive the situation....maybe in other way ..office politic make us be a better person ??? :?:
From Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur
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Hi Buddy, Dealing with a difficult boss is always problematic, and vice versa. From what I see, I think you need to lie low for some time and not precipitate the matter further. Wait and watch for some time, as most of the time's problems take care of themselves with adequate time and patience. Meanwhile, try and find out why you have landed yourself in such a situation. The actual reasons you will only know. Was it your attitude, the boss's attitude, or something that happened to make your boss change over a period of time? You need to sit down and analyze the situation, which I think you would have done by now.
Next, you may again approach the boss to find out where the relation has soured, what his expectations are from you, and what he needs you to do. If he says, "Nothing," insist that there is an issue that needs to be sorted out, and that you are ready to change, but that will only happen when you clearly know what aspect you need to change.
Also, you may like to carry out a self-analysis on your personality traits and interpersonal communication. You may also consider taking help from any professional agency.
And if these things don't work, start looking for a new, better job. Remember, you cannot wish away a bad boss.
All the best and take care. Will catch up later.
Yogesh Joshi.
From India, Bangalore
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Next, you may again approach the boss to find out where the relation has soured, what his expectations are from you, and what he needs you to do. If he says, "Nothing," insist that there is an issue that needs to be sorted out, and that you are ready to change, but that will only happen when you clearly know what aspect you need to change.
Also, you may like to carry out a self-analysis on your personality traits and interpersonal communication. You may also consider taking help from any professional agency.
And if these things don't work, start looking for a new, better job. Remember, you cannot wish away a bad boss.
All the best and take care. Will catch up later.
Yogesh Joshi.
From India, Bangalore
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hi, after reading this i think u should search 4 better opportunity and another job where u can get better exposure of ur skills and abiliy. vaishali
From India, Bhopal
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From India, Bhopal
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Dear,
Just keep your beliefs strong, work positively, and I assure you that your honest job will bear fruit one day. Keep your concentration on your responsibilities and ignore all distractions.
Shahid
From Pakistan, Lahore
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Just keep your beliefs strong, work positively, and I assure you that your honest job will bear fruit one day. Keep your concentration on your responsibilities and ignore all distractions.
Shahid
From Pakistan, Lahore
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Hi Mukesh has given you a good idea. In addition to that, you can also talk to your superior about the same. Let him/her know your problem but not in a complaining tone. Do let your boss's superior know that you are perplexed with certain behaviors in the office; however, don't name anybody.
Regards,
From India, Calcutta
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Regards,
From India, Calcutta
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Hi there,
There are some very good opinions that everyone has given here, which you could work on.
I too had been through a similar situation sometime back and from my personal experience, the sessions of talking it out and showing him your worth will not help anymore. Because he has already made his opinion about you, and he may not really care whether you improve or not. If he was really interested, he would have helped you come up with a performance improvement plan to set your goals and achieve what he expects from you.
I have worked with a positive team leader who did this to get me out from an unhappy situation to a good performer. And also someone who demotivated by behaving in a similar fashion like your boss. So if he was interested, he would have resolved the issue by now.
You could go to your HR and tell them what is happening and suggest that if they wish to sort the issue and get you a job profile matching your skillset, you would be willing to continue with enthusiasm; else, you would like to move on. If they agree to help you and arrange a meeting with your boss, which helps to bring out changes, then you can very well continue. Else there is no point in wasting your time and talent only for the sake of sticking to the organization. It's not the size of the organization that matters; it's your role in it, which could make a difference to you and everyone around you.
You cannot hang in between; it's either here or there. Sometimes you have to make tough decisions in life. You need to decide if you want to continue to put up with this behavior or if you want to bring changes.
Let me know if it helps you in some way...
From India, Bangalore
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There are some very good opinions that everyone has given here, which you could work on.
I too had been through a similar situation sometime back and from my personal experience, the sessions of talking it out and showing him your worth will not help anymore. Because he has already made his opinion about you, and he may not really care whether you improve or not. If he was really interested, he would have helped you come up with a performance improvement plan to set your goals and achieve what he expects from you.
I have worked with a positive team leader who did this to get me out from an unhappy situation to a good performer. And also someone who demotivated by behaving in a similar fashion like your boss. So if he was interested, he would have resolved the issue by now.
You could go to your HR and tell them what is happening and suggest that if they wish to sort the issue and get you a job profile matching your skillset, you would be willing to continue with enthusiasm; else, you would like to move on. If they agree to help you and arrange a meeting with your boss, which helps to bring out changes, then you can very well continue. Else there is no point in wasting your time and talent only for the sake of sticking to the organization. It's not the size of the organization that matters; it's your role in it, which could make a difference to you and everyone around you.
You cannot hang in between; it's either here or there. Sometimes you have to make tough decisions in life. You need to decide if you want to continue to put up with this behavior or if you want to bring changes.
Let me know if it helps you in some way...
From India, Bangalore
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