Hi, This is Rohini, working as an HR manager in the organization. I have been with the organization for three months now, and recently, an issue occurred that I believe requires your guidance.
One of the senior employees raised her voice at me and was disrespectful when she found out that I had excluded her from a celebration email. Before sending the email to the leadership team, I had checked for everyone’s availability. Employee had informed me she was unavailable, so I excluded her, just as I did with other employees who weren’t available. However, she reacted strongly, telling me that I couldn’t exclude her and her behavior towards me was quite disrespectful.
This isn't the first time she has displayed such behavior. I have heard from other colleagues that she has treated them similarly in the past, but no formal documentation has been made regarding these incidents. Given this, I am unsure about how to proceed and would appreciate your advice.
I have already scheduled a meeting with her to understand her concerns better and to discuss the issue directly. However, I would like to know if there are any additional steps I should take, or if any formal action is needed on my part.
Thank you for your guidance and support on this matter.
From India, Noida
One of the senior employees raised her voice at me and was disrespectful when she found out that I had excluded her from a celebration email. Before sending the email to the leadership team, I had checked for everyone’s availability. Employee had informed me she was unavailable, so I excluded her, just as I did with other employees who weren’t available. However, she reacted strongly, telling me that I couldn’t exclude her and her behavior towards me was quite disrespectful.
This isn't the first time she has displayed such behavior. I have heard from other colleagues that she has treated them similarly in the past, but no formal documentation has been made regarding these incidents. Given this, I am unsure about how to proceed and would appreciate your advice.
I have already scheduled a meeting with her to understand her concerns better and to discuss the issue directly. However, I would like to know if there are any additional steps I should take, or if any formal action is needed on my part.
Thank you for your guidance and support on this matter.
From India, Noida
Dear Rohini Gangwar,
Showing arrogant superiority and disdaining others considering them unworthy is common. It happens in almost all companies. Such attitudes develop because of reasons like long service, outstanding academic qualifications, exclusive technical competence, closeness to the top boss, etc. Their brazen behaviour creates a devastating effect on the company's culture. People get demotivated and their demotivation, in turn, results in higher employee attrition. The top bosses are so self-possessed that they ignore the overbearing pride of such people. In some cases, they know the behaviour of these people but they ignore them for unknown reasons.
So, what is the solution? The solution is to downplay the bloated sense of self-worth of such people and move on. If you overthink their behaviour, you could get stressed. While cooking food, occasionally we get burns. Do we not ignore them? I know it is easy to advise to ignore the arrogance of others but during our employment, some stress is inevitable.
Is this person punctilious? I ask this question because punctilious persons expect punctiliousness in equal measure from others, and when others fail to do so, they become irascible.
You are just three months old in the company. I could have suggested you inform the obnoxious behaviour of this superior to the top boss. But then how far he or she will be open to accepting this feedback is a point to moot.
Another option is to record her irascible behaviour. Whenever this lady becomes angry, write down when she became angry, why she became angry, against whom she became angry, etc. You will find a pattern in behaviour. Understanding the pattern is important.
One more corrective measure is to organise a training programme on how to create an interpersonal environment in the company. Before the training, give feedback to the trainer that though the training is conducted for all it is aimed at one person in the company. In my past training assignments, I have received such feedback.
Last but not least, keep on watching her behaviour and identify her weaknesses. Find out whether the organisation is incurring losses because of her weaknesses. Gather evidence about the losses and maintain their record.
Thank you and come back to this forum after a few weeks or months and inform the members of this forum on how you handled this situation.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
7885Showing arrogant superiority and disdaining others considering them unworthy is common. It happens in almost all companies. Such attitudes develop because of reasons like long service, outstanding academic qualifications, exclusive technical competence, closeness to the top boss, etc. Their brazen behaviour creates a devastating effect on the company's culture. People get demotivated and their demotivation, in turn, results in higher employee attrition. The top bosses are so self-possessed that they ignore the overbearing pride of such people. In some cases, they know the behaviour of these people but they ignore them for unknown reasons.
So, what is the solution? The solution is to downplay the bloated sense of self-worth of such people and move on. If you overthink their behaviour, you could get stressed. While cooking food, occasionally we get burns. Do we not ignore them? I know it is easy to advise to ignore the arrogance of others but during our employment, some stress is inevitable.
Is this person punctilious? I ask this question because punctilious persons expect punctiliousness in equal measure from others, and when others fail to do so, they become irascible.
You are just three months old in the company. I could have suggested you inform the obnoxious behaviour of this superior to the top boss. But then how far he or she will be open to accepting this feedback is a point to moot.
Another option is to record her irascible behaviour. Whenever this lady becomes angry, write down when she became angry, why she became angry, against whom she became angry, etc. You will find a pattern in behaviour. Understanding the pattern is important.
One more corrective measure is to organise a training programme on how to create an interpersonal environment in the company. Before the training, give feedback to the trainer that though the training is conducted for all it is aimed at one person in the company. In my past training assignments, I have received such feedback.
Last but not least, keep on watching her behaviour and identify her weaknesses. Find out whether the organisation is incurring losses because of her weaknesses. Gather evidence about the losses and maintain their record.
Thank you and come back to this forum after a few weeks or months and inform the members of this forum on how you handled this situation.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
Dear Rohini Gangwar,
While giving a reply, I left out two points. My follow-up comments are as below:
a) Protocol of Communication: - Exclusion of the name in the email was the ground of resentment of the senior employee. This shows the senior employee's bureaucratic mindset. These types of people prefer following the protocol of communication. Since you knew that the senior employee would be unavailable during the celebration event, you assumed that the senior lady need not be informed. However, the senior lady's thinking was the opposite. She wanted all official communication addressed to her. She considered the exclusion of her name in the official circular as ignoring her position or undermining her position. Hence she became angry.
b) Lesson to be learned: - How to maintain protocol of communication and how important it is to the people is a lesson to be learnt from this incident. The exclusion of her name was based on your assumption. Never assume anything while initiating official communication. The official communication is expected to be formal and formality demands being in accord with established forms and conventions and requirements.
c) David McClelland's Theory of Motivation: - I hope you have learned this theory of motivation in your MBA course. David McClelland's theory of motivation, also known as the "Three Needs Theory," states that people are driven by one of three main needs: the need for achievement, the need for affiliation, and the need for power. While the average individual is driven by all three needs, one of the needs is always dominant or super dominant. If we relate this incident to David McClelland's theory, we find that the senior manager is dominated by the "need for power." The people with a high need for power exaggerate their position and enjoy controlling others.
d) Feedback to the Senior Manager: - Whatever the motivational drive of the senior manager may be, she deserves to be given feedback. While she could be driven by the power motive, others could be driven by the affiliation motive. The people with a strong affiliation need could certainly get upset because of her dominance. Her behaviour could be a deterrent to others and she could be good at getting things done but she could be demotivating the subordinates as well. Will your company be able to calculate the cost of demotivation?
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
While giving a reply, I left out two points. My follow-up comments are as below:
a) Protocol of Communication: - Exclusion of the name in the email was the ground of resentment of the senior employee. This shows the senior employee's bureaucratic mindset. These types of people prefer following the protocol of communication. Since you knew that the senior employee would be unavailable during the celebration event, you assumed that the senior lady need not be informed. However, the senior lady's thinking was the opposite. She wanted all official communication addressed to her. She considered the exclusion of her name in the official circular as ignoring her position or undermining her position. Hence she became angry.
b) Lesson to be learned: - How to maintain protocol of communication and how important it is to the people is a lesson to be learnt from this incident. The exclusion of her name was based on your assumption. Never assume anything while initiating official communication. The official communication is expected to be formal and formality demands being in accord with established forms and conventions and requirements.
c) David McClelland's Theory of Motivation: - I hope you have learned this theory of motivation in your MBA course. David McClelland's theory of motivation, also known as the "Three Needs Theory," states that people are driven by one of three main needs: the need for achievement, the need for affiliation, and the need for power. While the average individual is driven by all three needs, one of the needs is always dominant or super dominant. If we relate this incident to David McClelland's theory, we find that the senior manager is dominated by the "need for power." The people with a high need for power exaggerate their position and enjoy controlling others.
d) Feedback to the Senior Manager: - Whatever the motivational drive of the senior manager may be, she deserves to be given feedback. While she could be driven by the power motive, others could be driven by the affiliation motive. The people with a strong affiliation need could certainly get upset because of her dominance. Her behaviour could be a deterrent to others and she could be good at getting things done but she could be demotivating the subordinates as well. Will your company be able to calculate the cost of demotivation?
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
I'm trying to looking at it differently. Keeping aside her unruly (if I can call it so) behaviour, what's wrong if you include all names and send those mails without any omission. Probably this kind of unwanted incident wouldn;t have been arisen, I believe. What if the exclusions change their minds and subsequently willing to join, is't permissible or not ? Prevention is better than cure ? It's only 3 months now for you since you joined. Try to gain tolerance. It's not advisable to pick quarrels with your colleagues at such an early period of your career. Let us first try not to give any room for others to find fault with us. It's better option isn't ? Don't look for like minded opinions but try to take all along to the extent possible. Reserve your strong reactions for a later date. It's good that you scheduled a one-on-one meeting with a view to thrash out differences. Better sense will prevail.
From India, Bangalore
From India, Bangalore
The previous job involved handling a problematic entity. I started collecting employee documents, including those of senior staff. Everyone followed my instructions and provided the documents, but one senior close to the boss refused to share hers. When I politely asked her again, she responded by demanding that I bring her budget sheets, even though she had her own laptop. This time, I refused, and she reacted angrily. Upon closer observation, I realized that she lacked higher education, which made her feel ashamed.
The moral is that those who are embarrassed about their own shortcomings often try to intimidate others perceived as more talented, in an effort to keep them at a distance. So don't worry keep going!
From India, Mumbai
The moral is that those who are embarrassed about their own shortcomings often try to intimidate others perceived as more talented, in an effort to keep them at a distance. So don't worry keep going!
From India, Mumbai
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