Hi All,
This issue is currently happening in one of my friend's MNC. The Manager and his subordinate have an illegal affair, causing disgust among the other team members who feel cornered. Some examples below:
The subordinate does nothing apart from chatting with the communicator.
The Manager and Subordinate discuss a minimum of 3 hrs per day inside the conference room.
If someone complains about the subordinate, those persons will be cornered.
Whenever there is an escalation, the Manager always saves the subordinate and passes the blame to other teammates.
Anyone who complains to the HR department will not receive any appraisal and will be mentally tortured by the manager.
There are no other senior managers who can address this issue because he is the one in control.
Both the Manager and subordinate are already married.
There is no problem with their personal relationship, but when it affects other team members, it becomes an issue. Hence, I am bringing it to this forum for a better solution.
If you can help with this, please post your suggestions.
Thanks
From United States, Santa Ana
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12This issue is currently happening in one of my friend's MNC. The Manager and his subordinate have an illegal affair, causing disgust among the other team members who feel cornered. Some examples below:
The subordinate does nothing apart from chatting with the communicator.
The Manager and Subordinate discuss a minimum of 3 hrs per day inside the conference room.
If someone complains about the subordinate, those persons will be cornered.
Whenever there is an escalation, the Manager always saves the subordinate and passes the blame to other teammates.
Anyone who complains to the HR department will not receive any appraisal and will be mentally tortured by the manager.
There are no other senior managers who can address this issue because he is the one in control.
Both the Manager and subordinate are already married.
There is no problem with their personal relationship, but when it affects other team members, it becomes an issue. Hence, I am bringing it to this forum for a better solution.
If you can help with this, please post your suggestions.
Thanks
From United States, Santa Ana
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Dear Jai,
First, about the heading of your post, let me apprise you that affairs are always "illegal" and never "legal". Therefore, the word "illegal" is extra.
Your location shows that you are from the US. Is it true? I ask this question because much depends on the national culture as well.
Your post shows how HR remains disconnected with the average occurrences of the company. By now, HR should have got a feel for the workplace affair. They could have taken steps to nip this affair in the bud. That these things happen in MNC speaks volumes of HR's role in some MNCs.
Workplace romance happens anywhere and everywhere. However, as soon as HR becomes aware of this, they should step in and counsel.
Now coming to a solution. What I am going to suggest could be insidious. You have to do this surreptitiously. You need to conduct a sting operation. Try taking photographs or a video of the pair who engages in workplace romance. Send the clips by post to the Managing Director of the company. Send the letter anonymously. In the letter, write where it is happening and how HR is passive to this. Write in the letter that if the affair is not stopped, then the clips will be made public. Hopefully, better sense prevails once the matter reaches the highest level. Never disclose to anyone what you will do.
Sometimes when you do not have sufficient power, you need to go against your conscience.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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First, about the heading of your post, let me apprise you that affairs are always "illegal" and never "legal". Therefore, the word "illegal" is extra.
Your location shows that you are from the US. Is it true? I ask this question because much depends on the national culture as well.
Your post shows how HR remains disconnected with the average occurrences of the company. By now, HR should have got a feel for the workplace affair. They could have taken steps to nip this affair in the bud. That these things happen in MNC speaks volumes of HR's role in some MNCs.
Workplace romance happens anywhere and everywhere. However, as soon as HR becomes aware of this, they should step in and counsel.
Now coming to a solution. What I am going to suggest could be insidious. You have to do this surreptitiously. You need to conduct a sting operation. Try taking photographs or a video of the pair who engages in workplace romance. Send the clips by post to the Managing Director of the company. Send the letter anonymously. In the letter, write where it is happening and how HR is passive to this. Write in the letter that if the affair is not stopped, then the clips will be made public. Hopefully, better sense prevails once the matter reaches the highest level. Never disclose to anyone what you will do.
Sometimes when you do not have sufficient power, you need to go against your conscience.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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Dear Mr. Divekar and Lifeskills,
I have slightly different views on this:
I am not sure about the legality of the situation. While I feel an extramarital affair is certainly immoral and unethical; I'm not sure whether it is flat-out illegal.
Now coming to the situation, I wonder what the original post means by saying the employees are 'cornered.' If two people are having an extramarital affair, I think the team members should not confront anyone as long as the work is not being affected. Let's accept it; if it's happening by mutual consent, it is nobody else's business!
Now coming to the manager, what is his performance like? If he is spending three hours chatting and still meeting his targets/KRAs on time, then I don't know if we can or should micromanage his daily activities and keep a very close eye.
To reiterate my view, I feel that the colleagues, line manager/HOD, and HR should only get involved in the affair insofar as the work and the climate are being affected.
Having said all this, my views are not definitive but rather tentative. I tend to be non-judgmental and detached towards such murky (immoral and not downright illegal) behavior of people.
From India, Mumbai
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I have slightly different views on this:
I am not sure about the legality of the situation. While I feel an extramarital affair is certainly immoral and unethical; I'm not sure whether it is flat-out illegal.
Now coming to the situation, I wonder what the original post means by saying the employees are 'cornered.' If two people are having an extramarital affair, I think the team members should not confront anyone as long as the work is not being affected. Let's accept it; if it's happening by mutual consent, it is nobody else's business!
Now coming to the manager, what is his performance like? If he is spending three hours chatting and still meeting his targets/KRAs on time, then I don't know if we can or should micromanage his daily activities and keep a very close eye.
To reiterate my view, I feel that the colleagues, line manager/HOD, and HR should only get involved in the affair insofar as the work and the climate are being affected.
Having said all this, my views are not definitive but rather tentative. I tend to be non-judgmental and detached towards such murky (immoral and not downright illegal) behavior of people.
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Aditya,
I request you to read the post once again. Following can be deduced from the post and my reply:
a) Nothing wrong in having "affair" as such, however, what matters is the choice of place. Consensual or otherwise, why engage in sexual activities during working hours? There are abundant places.
b) Imagine some couple is flirting around next to one's cabin. Your post intends to say that others should be a mute spectator since it is none of their business. Sorry, this is not professional conduct.
c) For this very reason, professional companies make "Policy on Workplace Romance". Attraction towards the opposite sex is fine, but let us keep it off the workplace.
d) The post says that for granting sexual favors, the subordinate woman employee is given concessions. She keeps on chatting during working hours. Is this right? Does merit have no value?
e) The most important point you have missed out is "Sexual Harassment". What if today's romance turns into a sexual harassment case for tomorrow? Why should we get into this unwanted activity at all? It is better to keep the workplace neat and clean.
f) These instances vitiate the company's culture. What if other managers start demanding sexual favors from their woman subordinates? Will it not convert the workplace into a den of promiscuous people? Secondly, under such circumstances working as a male employee will become almost a crime because he has nothing to offer. Thirdly, what if some woman employee refuses to oblige? Fourthly, what if some woman smartly generates evidence of harassment and then reports to the National Council for Women (NCW). Can you imagine the repercussions?
In my last post, I have criticized HR of that company because it is HR who is the protector of the company's culture. The response of the HR is a muted one. These very people will go to some five-star hotel and give a lecture on leadership and back home develop cold feet for being forthright. That surprises me the most.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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I request you to read the post once again. Following can be deduced from the post and my reply:
a) Nothing wrong in having "affair" as such, however, what matters is the choice of place. Consensual or otherwise, why engage in sexual activities during working hours? There are abundant places.
b) Imagine some couple is flirting around next to one's cabin. Your post intends to say that others should be a mute spectator since it is none of their business. Sorry, this is not professional conduct.
c) For this very reason, professional companies make "Policy on Workplace Romance". Attraction towards the opposite sex is fine, but let us keep it off the workplace.
d) The post says that for granting sexual favors, the subordinate woman employee is given concessions. She keeps on chatting during working hours. Is this right? Does merit have no value?
e) The most important point you have missed out is "Sexual Harassment". What if today's romance turns into a sexual harassment case for tomorrow? Why should we get into this unwanted activity at all? It is better to keep the workplace neat and clean.
f) These instances vitiate the company's culture. What if other managers start demanding sexual favors from their woman subordinates? Will it not convert the workplace into a den of promiscuous people? Secondly, under such circumstances working as a male employee will become almost a crime because he has nothing to offer. Thirdly, what if some woman employee refuses to oblige? Fourthly, what if some woman smartly generates evidence of harassment and then reports to the National Council for Women (NCW). Can you imagine the repercussions?
In my last post, I have criticized HR of that company because it is HR who is the protector of the company's culture. The response of the HR is a muted one. These very people will go to some five-star hotel and give a lecture on leadership and back home develop cold feet for being forthright. That surprises me the most.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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Dear Aditya,
Nothing is wrong with having extramarital affairs between a manager and subordinate outside the office premises. No one questions the manager and the subordinate who are involved in such affairs. However, once they enter the office premises, they must behave as manager and subordinate, not the other way around.
Mr. Dinesh's response is the correct way to handle this scenario. Even if the person caught is the wrongdoer, the problem lies with the person who reports to the Management and HR Department. Therefore, sending video clips and photographs of the manager and subordinate while maintaining anonymity is 100% correct. Survival is crucial for the person reporting the wrongdoing.
Thank you.
From India, Kumbakonam
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Nothing is wrong with having extramarital affairs between a manager and subordinate outside the office premises. No one questions the manager and the subordinate who are involved in such affairs. However, once they enter the office premises, they must behave as manager and subordinate, not the other way around.
Mr. Dinesh's response is the correct way to handle this scenario. Even if the person caught is the wrongdoer, the problem lies with the person who reports to the Management and HR Department. Therefore, sending video clips and photographs of the manager and subordinate while maintaining anonymity is 100% correct. Survival is crucial for the person reporting the wrongdoing.
Thank you.
From India, Kumbakonam
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Mr Divekar, I guess you are right. It seems to be the case of solicitation, bias and abuse of power along with the extra marital affair.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Thank you for the suggestions, but the ground reality is "NO ONE CAN GO AGAINST THE MANAGER." Neither the TL nor the PL can question subordinates. One guy reported about her worst performance in a status meeting who was about to get his onsite assignment, but because of those comments, he was withheld.
I guess this illustrates how serious the issue is!
From United States, Santa Ana
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I guess this illustrates how serious the issue is!
From United States, Santa Ana
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Dear Jai,
That's the reason Mr. Dinesh has advised you to maintain anonymity when reporting the issue to the MD and HR Department, providing video and photograph proof. If this instruction was not clear to both parties, you may consider approaching the media while still maintaining anonymity as a reporter.
From India, Kumbakonam
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That's the reason Mr. Dinesh has advised you to maintain anonymity when reporting the issue to the MD and HR Department, providing video and photograph proof. If this instruction was not clear to both parties, you may consider approaching the media while still maintaining anonymity as a reporter.
From India, Kumbakonam
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Is it right to use the term "illegal affair" if they are already married? This is a case of romance inside the office post-marriage. However, romance at work premises is not allowed, and your HR should take action against the romancing couple if proven.
- Pon
From India, Lucknow
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- Pon
From India, Lucknow
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Dear Aditya,
I request you to read the post once again. Following can be deduced from the post and my reply:
a) Nothing wrong in having "affair" as such, however, what matters is the choice of place. Consensual or otherwise, why engage in sexual activities during working hours? There are abundant places.
b) Imagine some couple is flirting around next to one's cabin. Your post intends to say that others should be a mute spectator since it is none of their business. Sorry, this is not professional conduct.
c) For this very reason, professional companies make "Policy on Workplace Romance". Attraction towards the opposite sex is fine but let us keep it off the workplace.
d) The post says that for granting sexual favors, the subordinate woman employee is given concessions. She keeps on chatting during working hours. Is this right? Does merit have no value?
e) The most important point you have missed out is "Sexual Harassment". What if today's romance turns into a sexual harassment case for tomorrow? Why should we get into this unwanted activity at all? It is better to keep the workplace neat and clean.
f) These instances vitiate the company's culture. What if other managers start demanding sexual favors from their woman subordinates? Will it not convert the workplace into a den of promiscuous people? Secondly, under such circumstances working as a male employee will become almost a crime because he has nothing to offer. Thirdly, what if some woman employee refuses to oblige? Fourthly, what if some woman smartly generates evidence of harassment and then reports to the National Council for Women (NCW). Can you imagine the repercussions?
In my last post, I criticized HR of that company because it is HR who is the protector of the company's culture. The response of the HR is a muted one. These very people will go to some five-star hotel and give a lecture on leadership and back home develop cold feet for being forthright. That surprises me most.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Hyderabad
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I request you to read the post once again. Following can be deduced from the post and my reply:
a) Nothing wrong in having "affair" as such, however, what matters is the choice of place. Consensual or otherwise, why engage in sexual activities during working hours? There are abundant places.
b) Imagine some couple is flirting around next to one's cabin. Your post intends to say that others should be a mute spectator since it is none of their business. Sorry, this is not professional conduct.
c) For this very reason, professional companies make "Policy on Workplace Romance". Attraction towards the opposite sex is fine but let us keep it off the workplace.
d) The post says that for granting sexual favors, the subordinate woman employee is given concessions. She keeps on chatting during working hours. Is this right? Does merit have no value?
e) The most important point you have missed out is "Sexual Harassment". What if today's romance turns into a sexual harassment case for tomorrow? Why should we get into this unwanted activity at all? It is better to keep the workplace neat and clean.
f) These instances vitiate the company's culture. What if other managers start demanding sexual favors from their woman subordinates? Will it not convert the workplace into a den of promiscuous people? Secondly, under such circumstances working as a male employee will become almost a crime because he has nothing to offer. Thirdly, what if some woman employee refuses to oblige? Fourthly, what if some woman smartly generates evidence of harassment and then reports to the National Council for Women (NCW). Can you imagine the repercussions?
In my last post, I criticized HR of that company because it is HR who is the protector of the company's culture. The response of the HR is a muted one. These very people will go to some five-star hotel and give a lecture on leadership and back home develop cold feet for being forthright. That surprises me most.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Hyderabad
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