This amonts to sexual harassment. Such incidents are unfortunate and yet not uncommon in the corporate world. Power and position does allow such perverse notions to surface and seniors tend to manipulate events and situation to take control over unsuspecting juniors.
Some give in and become unwilling victims but for some (like the lady in this situation) it is repulsive. I think the best option in such circumstances is to ignore any casual off the cuff remarks made by the boss, be firm when the boss makes overt advances. However, she has to be extra careful with her work since any deficiencies in her work can be used to put further pressures. She may also choose to confide on someone she can trust in the office.
This is stresfull but i am sure, the GM-HR shall realise that the lady is unavailable once he is cold shouldered. If not, then pray that this recession takes its toll on him or he perishes in some natural calamities. And finally, if nothing works be prepared to fight and loose the job. Because, Jobs once lost may be still be available in the open market but one's character and self believe once lost will be almost impossible to find.
Some give in and become unwilling victims but for some (like the lady in this situation) it is repulsive. I think the best option in such circumstances is to ignore any casual off the cuff remarks made by the boss, be firm when the boss makes overt advances. However, she has to be extra careful with her work since any deficiencies in her work can be used to put further pressures. She may also choose to confide on someone she can trust in the office.
This is stresfull but i am sure, the GM-HR shall realise that the lady is unavailable once he is cold shouldered. If not, then pray that this recession takes its toll on him or he perishes in some natural calamities. And finally, if nothing works be prepared to fight and loose the job. Because, Jobs once lost may be still be available in the open market but one's character and self believe once lost will be almost impossible to find.
This is one more misconception..........
No one can help her she has to help herself..........to become upright in her approach to boss and to this forum by not posting faltu Mischievous postings......and wasting time for sympathising with her unnecessarily because we do not have access to her Boss to speak him on this subject.
so remember you cannot help her nor anybody else...........
She must give contact number of her boss we citehr members will send our envoy to him to express our sentiments.........:-D
We should misinterprete this as sexual harrashment.....
There are some myths of harrashments, Seems like managers would have gotten the message about sexual harassment, but many are still confused. Here are the facts about some of the most prevalent myths:
Myth--Harassment must be by someone employed by the company.
Fact--Clients or customers of an employer can also commit sexual harassment against your employees. For example, a restaurant customer can commit an act or repeated acts of sexual harassment against an employer’s waitress.
Myth--Sexual harassment is about men harassing women.
Fact--Although acts of sexual harassment must be grounded in discrimination that is based on sex, the sex of the offender and victim is not controlling. Therefore, females can commit sexual harassment against males, males can commit sexual harassment against other males, and females can commit sexual harassment against other females.
Myth--Harassment can only be charged by the person harassed, not by witnesses.
Fact--Some courts have held that bystanders, or mere witnesses to unlawful acts of sexual harassment, may also be victims. As a result, an employee who bears witness to sexual harassment that is directed toward another employee may also find protection under the law.
Myth--If the harasser didn't intend to offend, there's no harassment.
Fact--Intent doesn't matter. It's the reaction of the person who is harassed that counts. "I was just kidding" won't hold up in court.
Captain Cook
From Saudi Arabia, Riyadh
No one can help her she has to help herself..........to become upright in her approach to boss and to this forum by not posting faltu Mischievous postings......and wasting time for sympathising with her unnecessarily because we do not have access to her Boss to speak him on this subject.
so remember you cannot help her nor anybody else...........
She must give contact number of her boss we citehr members will send our envoy to him to express our sentiments.........:-D
We should misinterprete this as sexual harrashment.....
There are some myths of harrashments, Seems like managers would have gotten the message about sexual harassment, but many are still confused. Here are the facts about some of the most prevalent myths:
Myth--Harassment must be by someone employed by the company.
Fact--Clients or customers of an employer can also commit sexual harassment against your employees. For example, a restaurant customer can commit an act or repeated acts of sexual harassment against an employer’s waitress.
Myth--Sexual harassment is about men harassing women.
Fact--Although acts of sexual harassment must be grounded in discrimination that is based on sex, the sex of the offender and victim is not controlling. Therefore, females can commit sexual harassment against males, males can commit sexual harassment against other males, and females can commit sexual harassment against other females.
Myth--Harassment can only be charged by the person harassed, not by witnesses.
Fact--Some courts have held that bystanders, or mere witnesses to unlawful acts of sexual harassment, may also be victims. As a result, an employee who bears witness to sexual harassment that is directed toward another employee may also find protection under the law.
Myth--If the harasser didn't intend to offend, there's no harassment.
Fact--Intent doesn't matter. It's the reaction of the person who is harassed that counts. "I was just kidding" won't hold up in court.
Captain Cook
From Saudi Arabia, Riyadh
You are right - it is the wrong time to look for a job. It would be near impossible to pin him down on a charge of sexual harassment. Without witnesses the nearest option for the victim would have been if she started sobbing on hearing the proposal from her boss and related the incident to her office colleagues or her close ones. I am convinced she did none of these - hence the appeal for help. The organisation will no doubt listen to the boss and dismiss your allegations as it is much easier than to haul up a senior member who will deny her story. The way he has broached the subject indicates he was on a "fishing expedition" trying his luck. If she had fallen for it he strikes "gold" - if it fails he has nothing to lose. He may have his own version too.
Advise your friend to be careful in her dealings with the dirty old man. He may be having problems at home or denied the means to satisfy his urges and is trying his luck by using his "persuasive" station in life. Whatever it is he will try again and your friend needs to be prepared. She should ensure she is not caught in his cabin and should deny his invitations to go out alone. She should relate any incidents bordering on harassment to her colleagues and follow the office guidelines on dealing with harassment.
regards
ganapathy ramasamy
From Malaysia, Melaka
Advise your friend to be careful in her dealings with the dirty old man. He may be having problems at home or denied the means to satisfy his urges and is trying his luck by using his "persuasive" station in life. Whatever it is he will try again and your friend needs to be prepared. She should ensure she is not caught in his cabin and should deny his invitations to go out alone. She should relate any incidents bordering on harassment to her colleagues and follow the office guidelines on dealing with harassment.
regards
ganapathy ramasamy
From Malaysia, Melaka
Hey All,
I read each n every comment on this post....
First of all, my reaction for those who said it a waste or useless post is quite different........
I agree that being a HR Officer, she is mature enough to take decision………..But the thing is that everyone is not same or thinks alike or have same maturity level that others have already attained through their experiences or exposure to such things earlier.
May be it’s her first job and she is not able to think in that way and is not that mentally strong to take decisions and is still in learning stage. Please note that I am not particularly talking about only a girl who has posted it, I am talking about each and every woman who is working in this corporate world.
Also some have talked about psychology of a woman. To those, I would say in loud words that if they understand soooo much about a woman’s psychology or sixth sense, then they must at least understand that a woman generally needs confirmation from others while taking any decision in her life. It can be while choosing a dress, mobile or even filling a form to apply for a post.
And please don’t misunderstand that I am saying that a woman is generally mentally weak and she can’t take her decisions alone. The point is that our society and way of bringing up the girls make girls to have somebody’s confirmation. That person can be her father, brother, or husband or just a friend or may be persons from CiteHR forum. A woman can discuss or seek any advice about anything to anyone if she feels comfortable in doing that. So there is no point in over reacting about inclusion of hers this particular experience with all of us.
Anyways, if we are already aware about it and don’t want to waste time on such issues, then we should ignore it. But may be this discussion is being read by other girls/boys
(believe me still such people exist who have no clue about such issues, and we can’t say that they are ignorant………..itnaa bhi nahi ptaa etc etc J but it’s only this that they din’t get that much exposure as they must have got. I would quote “better late than never” for those J ))
who are not at all aware about such issues and can have guidance from these posts and may become mentally more strong to deal such kind of happenings.
May be she just wanted to have confirmation from others about her decision (that she must have thought) or just wanted to have others opinion to take out best possible step.
I am quite happy to see a number of posts in this discussion with totally different opinions and suggestions.
I have nothing different to suggest to AKS about it, as already all generous people have done its analysis from each and every angle.
One thing I would like to say is that a number of movies like “Life in a Metro”, “Corporate”, “Fashion” (the latest one) have already been made covering such issues. So consider the situation from each and every aspect and take your best decision.
All the best!!!!
Cheers J
Always Wishing Good for You…..
Silky Bhardwaj
From India, Chandigarh
I read each n every comment on this post....
First of all, my reaction for those who said it a waste or useless post is quite different........
I agree that being a HR Officer, she is mature enough to take decision………..But the thing is that everyone is not same or thinks alike or have same maturity level that others have already attained through their experiences or exposure to such things earlier.
May be it’s her first job and she is not able to think in that way and is not that mentally strong to take decisions and is still in learning stage. Please note that I am not particularly talking about only a girl who has posted it, I am talking about each and every woman who is working in this corporate world.
Also some have talked about psychology of a woman. To those, I would say in loud words that if they understand soooo much about a woman’s psychology or sixth sense, then they must at least understand that a woman generally needs confirmation from others while taking any decision in her life. It can be while choosing a dress, mobile or even filling a form to apply for a post.
And please don’t misunderstand that I am saying that a woman is generally mentally weak and she can’t take her decisions alone. The point is that our society and way of bringing up the girls make girls to have somebody’s confirmation. That person can be her father, brother, or husband or just a friend or may be persons from CiteHR forum. A woman can discuss or seek any advice about anything to anyone if she feels comfortable in doing that. So there is no point in over reacting about inclusion of hers this particular experience with all of us.
Anyways, if we are already aware about it and don’t want to waste time on such issues, then we should ignore it. But may be this discussion is being read by other girls/boys
(believe me still such people exist who have no clue about such issues, and we can’t say that they are ignorant………..itnaa bhi nahi ptaa etc etc J but it’s only this that they din’t get that much exposure as they must have got. I would quote “better late than never” for those J ))
who are not at all aware about such issues and can have guidance from these posts and may become mentally more strong to deal such kind of happenings.
May be she just wanted to have confirmation from others about her decision (that she must have thought) or just wanted to have others opinion to take out best possible step.
I am quite happy to see a number of posts in this discussion with totally different opinions and suggestions.
I have nothing different to suggest to AKS about it, as already all generous people have done its analysis from each and every angle.
One thing I would like to say is that a number of movies like “Life in a Metro”, “Corporate”, “Fashion” (the latest one) have already been made covering such issues. So consider the situation from each and every aspect and take your best decision.
All the best!!!!
Cheers J
Always Wishing Good for You…..
Silky Bhardwaj
From India, Chandigarh
Dear, aks,
Remember, one thing no one can disturbe you without your permission , if you feeling low it is because of you,,,,,, Don't feel dull. collect ur courage, and look the situation form diffrent corner, if you can not change the reality than change the eye who see the reality, i have faith in you only you have the best solution for this problem, not need to get afraid from loosing job... live with dignity.....
Best of luck
From India, Delhi
Remember, one thing no one can disturbe you without your permission , if you feeling low it is because of you,,,,,, Don't feel dull. collect ur courage, and look the situation form diffrent corner, if you can not change the reality than change the eye who see the reality, i have faith in you only you have the best solution for this problem, not need to get afraid from loosing job... live with dignity.....
Best of luck
From India, Delhi
Hi AKS
1.Every action has equal and opposite reaction
2.There is no smoke without fire
3.Clapping needs both hands
4.That's all natural phenomena
Pondering above well known sayings INTROSPECT urself u might find the answer
From India, Mumbai
1.Every action has equal and opposite reaction
2.There is no smoke without fire
3.Clapping needs both hands
4.That's all natural phenomena
Pondering above well known sayings INTROSPECT urself u might find the answer
From India, Mumbai
Hey guys,
I beleive the situtation which was uploaded is fictious. If i am correct, the GM_HR would have asked her opinion before uttering any thing and being in that position and worked for so many years in HR, sure he must be knowing the pros and cons of the problem.
If really he has proposed, then the HR-Officer has every right to receprocate in that manner and she can complain or she can straight away refuse the proposal. Only the issue is how far HR-Officer has strength to say NO.
Regards,
Prasanna
From India, Bangalore
I beleive the situtation which was uploaded is fictious. If i am correct, the GM_HR would have asked her opinion before uttering any thing and being in that position and worked for so many years in HR, sure he must be knowing the pros and cons of the problem.
If really he has proposed, then the HR-Officer has every right to receprocate in that manner and she can complain or she can straight away refuse the proposal. Only the issue is how far HR-Officer has strength to say NO.
Regards,
Prasanna
From India, Bangalore
Hello AKS,
Be very professional and dont carry this burden for long, just forget it and be carefull in your approach. He should feel sorry and guilty about himself by seeing you and your boldness, he should feel that you are not that type of girl, what he was expecting, dont give too much importance to this issue and dont tell this incident to your collegues, tell one person who is very good friend of yours and may be trusted, becasue in future it will help if some other incident occurs. One small tip for you in your future professional life. Whenever you meet a new person who may be either your boss / collegue or junior, dont get very close and go into unwanted discussions which is not related to your job, until you know them very well, because you cannot read anybodys mind and their intentions. So why take chance, precaution is better than cure. Good luck and never think of leaving this job, because this type of incidents will always be there in your professional life. Take this as a chellange. Best of luck.:):)
regards
Suresh G Nair
From India, Kochi
Be very professional and dont carry this burden for long, just forget it and be carefull in your approach. He should feel sorry and guilty about himself by seeing you and your boldness, he should feel that you are not that type of girl, what he was expecting, dont give too much importance to this issue and dont tell this incident to your collegues, tell one person who is very good friend of yours and may be trusted, becasue in future it will help if some other incident occurs. One small tip for you in your future professional life. Whenever you meet a new person who may be either your boss / collegue or junior, dont get very close and go into unwanted discussions which is not related to your job, until you know them very well, because you cannot read anybodys mind and their intentions. So why take chance, precaution is better than cure. Good luck and never think of leaving this job, because this type of incidents will always be there in your professional life. Take this as a chellange. Best of luck.:):)
regards
Suresh G Nair
From India, Kochi
Don't yo think this is covservtive thinking of "ShriRamSena" Idealogies:-D.......
IF you are professional be professional but your personal matters such as dating and proposed for marriages are not official subjects.......:-P
You cannot discuss here.........:icon6:
From Saudi Arabia
IF you are professional be professional but your personal matters such as dating and proposed for marriages are not official subjects.......:-P
You cannot discuss here.........:icon6:
From Saudi Arabia
Dear AKS,
I feel very shame because of such a HR person spoiling our HR community. How it is happening......as advised many professional please react face to face in front of other colleagues. Dont discuss this with other colleagues, it will spread out overall the company and your name may get spoiled.
Also reach your Harassment escalation path confidentially. I feel some evidence required for that while approaching harassment cell being the Nonsense is sitting in a senior position in that company.
Else give us the nonsense GM(HR)'s mobile no, the group members will teach him a lesson.
Dont worry.....Relax...
Regards,
Sekar Devaraj
From United States, Morristown
I feel very shame because of such a HR person spoiling our HR community. How it is happening......as advised many professional please react face to face in front of other colleagues. Dont discuss this with other colleagues, it will spread out overall the company and your name may get spoiled.
Also reach your Harassment escalation path confidentially. I feel some evidence required for that while approaching harassment cell being the Nonsense is sitting in a senior position in that company.
Else give us the nonsense GM(HR)'s mobile no, the group members will teach him a lesson.
Dont worry.....Relax...
Regards,
Sekar Devaraj
From United States, Morristown
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