Hi all,
I was disappointed when none of you gave me any remarks on the article Conflict Management.
ANyway, I'm completing this article with the second part now, hope you will give your valuable inputs on this.
Two basic dimensions of Conflict Behavior:
Assertiveness:
This happens when your views and opinions appear to be incompatible with other's. These kindof situation shows that your assertiveness is the degree to which you try to satisfy your views and opinions.
Cooperativeness:
This is the degree to which you try to give other person's views and opinions more importance then yours. The word itself suggests being receptive to other person's ideas.
COnflict Handling Modes
There are five combinations of assertiveness and cooperativeness, which are discussed here.
# Competing:
It is assertive and uncooperative. Here you try to satisfy yourself and give no value to other person.
# Collaborating:
It is both assertive and cooperative. Here a win win solution is looked at which satisfies both the parties involved.
# Compromising:
It is in the middle, none of the component is given high importance. It is situation you accept a settlement which only partially satisfies both the parties.
# Avoiding:
This is both unassertive and uncooperative. You avoid the conflict without trying for any satisfaction to any of the partes concerned.
# Accommodating:
It is unassertive and cooperative. You give all the importance to the concerns of other party at the expense of your own inputs.
Yes the ultimate aim of all these five is same to resolve conflict, but as per our nature and situations we tend to wear any of these masks to resolve conflict.
How can we use these modes effectively?
# When to COmpete?
- Use this module as less as possible.
- Competing can be used on important issues where collaborating is not feasible, such as:
* When you are right
* When not so popular actions are required to be taken
* When quick decisions to be taken
* To defend when under attack
* Too considerate people
* When onsensus is not possible.
Behavioral skills for Competing:
* Persuasion
! Complete the groundwork
! Motives clearly explained
! Shared concern should be emphasised
! Be specific and credible
* Fighting fair
! Stick to the issue in discussion
! Give respect to the other party
! Listen carefully and respond
! Act as a referee
* Warnings not threats
! No threatnings
! Warnings can be used
* Impose decision
! Assert your authority
! Reward the new behavior
! Follow up on deviations if occurs in the time of discussions
* Support
! Be supportive
! Be tough minded
! Keep talking about the issue of "Fitting"
# When to Collaborate?
- Build the conditions where the collaboration is possible
- Try to collaborate on important issues, like
* When both the parties are vital for organisation
* When learning is there
* Merge insights from diverse perspectives
* When commitment is needed
* When concern is on maintaining relationships
Behavioral skills for collaborativeness:
* Right Tone:
! See others' positive concerns
! Use we and no blame game
! Benefits of solution
! Be polite
* Both parites concern
! Talk about concerns and not positions
! Dont blame positions
! Share and discuss your concerns
! Help other party to share their concerns
* Mutual Problem
! Use 'and' and no 'buts'
! Integrative approach to resolve conflict
* Brainstorm
! Be flexible and open
! Exploratory language
! Agree on the best solution
* Collaborating in Groups
! Derive multiple alternatives
! Work on more information
! Create common goals
! Use humour
! No power and authority
! Consensus
# When to Compromise?
- Not on vital issues
- when small is at stake
- Compromise when collaborating and competing is not feasible, such as
* When people involved have equal powers
* When temporary solution is seeked
* When fast decision required under time pressure
* when assertiveness can harm relations
* whenother two C have failed
Behavioral skills for COMPROMISING:
* No Competing
! Take information on situation
! Suggest compromise and dont look week
! Give concessions if reciprocated.
* Fairness
! Insist on being fair
! Determine the facts
! Give and take relationship
# When to AVOID?
- Try not to do that
- To avoid emotional conflicts
^ Issues of blame game
^ Control anger
^ when discussion deviate to personalities
- Avoid when little is gained
^ Unimportant issues
^ Symptoms of other issues
^ anyone else can handle
^ too sensitive issues
^ You know you cannot win
- Postpone
^ find time to gather information
^ Refocus
^ Need a break
^ Setting change
Behavioral Skills for AVOIDING
* Deciding what is important
! Clear cut goals
! Joint goals
! Sticking to goals
! Look for more information
* Donot sound week
! Give reason
! Set a time if postponing
! Inviting language
* No Anger please
! set psychological boundaries
! Give benefit of doubt
! Discharge anger politely
! Use fun and humour
# When to ACCOMODATE?
- Yield to better position
^ If you arre persuaded
^ When others have ore information
- If you are losing
^ when your boss is in picture
^ When you are outvoted by group
^ When you are outmatched
- Sacrifice
^ Do a favour
^ Let people try
^ Boosting confidence
- Accomodate to keep away hard feelings
^ To repair damage
^ to forgive others
Behavioral skills for ACCOMMODATING
* Concede gracefully
! Dont show sore emotions
! Explain your motive behind your action
* Satisfy a complaint
! Accept anger but no abuse
! Explain without sounding defending
! Apologise if important
! Listen
! Reply in a polite manner
Ken Thomas is the original writer of conflict management, I just moulded all this information in my own words.
Hope you will all like it.
Cheers
Archna
From India, Delhi
113I was disappointed when none of you gave me any remarks on the article Conflict Management.
ANyway, I'm completing this article with the second part now, hope you will give your valuable inputs on this.
Two basic dimensions of Conflict Behavior:
Assertiveness:
This happens when your views and opinions appear to be incompatible with other's. These kindof situation shows that your assertiveness is the degree to which you try to satisfy your views and opinions.
Cooperativeness:
This is the degree to which you try to give other person's views and opinions more importance then yours. The word itself suggests being receptive to other person's ideas.
COnflict Handling Modes
There are five combinations of assertiveness and cooperativeness, which are discussed here.
# Competing:
It is assertive and uncooperative. Here you try to satisfy yourself and give no value to other person.
# Collaborating:
It is both assertive and cooperative. Here a win win solution is looked at which satisfies both the parties involved.
# Compromising:
It is in the middle, none of the component is given high importance. It is situation you accept a settlement which only partially satisfies both the parties.
# Avoiding:
This is both unassertive and uncooperative. You avoid the conflict without trying for any satisfaction to any of the partes concerned.
# Accommodating:
It is unassertive and cooperative. You give all the importance to the concerns of other party at the expense of your own inputs.
Yes the ultimate aim of all these five is same to resolve conflict, but as per our nature and situations we tend to wear any of these masks to resolve conflict.
How can we use these modes effectively?
# When to COmpete?
- Use this module as less as possible.
- Competing can be used on important issues where collaborating is not feasible, such as:
* When you are right
* When not so popular actions are required to be taken
* When quick decisions to be taken
* To defend when under attack
* Too considerate people
* When onsensus is not possible.
Behavioral skills for Competing:
* Persuasion
! Complete the groundwork
! Motives clearly explained
! Shared concern should be emphasised
! Be specific and credible
* Fighting fair
! Stick to the issue in discussion
! Give respect to the other party
! Listen carefully and respond
! Act as a referee
* Warnings not threats
! No threatnings
! Warnings can be used
* Impose decision
! Assert your authority
! Reward the new behavior
! Follow up on deviations if occurs in the time of discussions
* Support
! Be supportive
! Be tough minded
! Keep talking about the issue of "Fitting"
# When to Collaborate?
- Build the conditions where the collaboration is possible
- Try to collaborate on important issues, like
* When both the parties are vital for organisation
* When learning is there
* Merge insights from diverse perspectives
* When commitment is needed
* When concern is on maintaining relationships
Behavioral skills for collaborativeness:
* Right Tone:
! See others' positive concerns
! Use we and no blame game
! Benefits of solution
! Be polite
* Both parites concern
! Talk about concerns and not positions
! Dont blame positions
! Share and discuss your concerns
! Help other party to share their concerns
* Mutual Problem
! Use 'and' and no 'buts'
! Integrative approach to resolve conflict
* Brainstorm
! Be flexible and open
! Exploratory language
! Agree on the best solution
* Collaborating in Groups
! Derive multiple alternatives
! Work on more information
! Create common goals
! Use humour
! No power and authority
! Consensus
# When to Compromise?
- Not on vital issues
- when small is at stake
- Compromise when collaborating and competing is not feasible, such as
* When people involved have equal powers
* When temporary solution is seeked
* When fast decision required under time pressure
* when assertiveness can harm relations
* whenother two C have failed
Behavioral skills for COMPROMISING:
* No Competing
! Take information on situation
! Suggest compromise and dont look week
! Give concessions if reciprocated.
* Fairness
! Insist on being fair
! Determine the facts
! Give and take relationship
# When to AVOID?
- Try not to do that
- To avoid emotional conflicts
^ Issues of blame game
^ Control anger
^ when discussion deviate to personalities
- Avoid when little is gained
^ Unimportant issues
^ Symptoms of other issues
^ anyone else can handle
^ too sensitive issues
^ You know you cannot win
- Postpone
^ find time to gather information
^ Refocus
^ Need a break
^ Setting change
Behavioral Skills for AVOIDING
* Deciding what is important
! Clear cut goals
! Joint goals
! Sticking to goals
! Look for more information
* Donot sound week
! Give reason
! Set a time if postponing
! Inviting language
* No Anger please
! set psychological boundaries
! Give benefit of doubt
! Discharge anger politely
! Use fun and humour
# When to ACCOMODATE?
- Yield to better position
^ If you arre persuaded
^ When others have ore information
- If you are losing
^ when your boss is in picture
^ When you are outvoted by group
^ When you are outmatched
- Sacrifice
^ Do a favour
^ Let people try
^ Boosting confidence
- Accomodate to keep away hard feelings
^ To repair damage
^ to forgive others
Behavioral skills for ACCOMMODATING
* Concede gracefully
! Dont show sore emotions
! Explain your motive behind your action
* Satisfy a complaint
! Accept anger but no abuse
! Explain without sounding defending
! Apologise if important
! Listen
! Reply in a polite manner
Ken Thomas is the original writer of conflict management, I just moulded all this information in my own words.
Hope you will all like it.
Cheers
Archna
From India, Delhi
Hi Archana,
how are you, well i am a new member of this forum, i have gone through your second part of the article'conflict management' , that was really good. unfortunately i didnt read your first article of the same topic. i will search it and read it......
i want a suggestion, since u must have a good knowledge in this issue. i am facing a conflicting situation in my organisation, i have joined a telecom software company last month, i have done my training from the same company in the month of jan. this year , so i was familiar to the employees and the environment of the company.i am handling the operations and holding a post of executive assistant , in my job profile there is one resposibility to design and maintain a reporting system in the organisation, me and my boss together did, it and implemented it..... after two day i was asked to stop reporting system ... as these employees are not liking me to ask them to report, its totally a ego problem to the employees as they are senior to me and i am asking them to fill the reporting document every week.
what should i do now i have nothing in my hands , and i am doing all the donkeys work... even my boss is not supporting me... politics is on its high peak in my organisation..... tell me how should i react , i want suggestion from you. hope i have cleared what is my problem, to you....
Looking forward for your reply.
Thanks & Regards,
Gunjan
From India, Delhi
how are you, well i am a new member of this forum, i have gone through your second part of the article'conflict management' , that was really good. unfortunately i didnt read your first article of the same topic. i will search it and read it......
i want a suggestion, since u must have a good knowledge in this issue. i am facing a conflicting situation in my organisation, i have joined a telecom software company last month, i have done my training from the same company in the month of jan. this year , so i was familiar to the employees and the environment of the company.i am handling the operations and holding a post of executive assistant , in my job profile there is one resposibility to design and maintain a reporting system in the organisation, me and my boss together did, it and implemented it..... after two day i was asked to stop reporting system ... as these employees are not liking me to ask them to report, its totally a ego problem to the employees as they are senior to me and i am asking them to fill the reporting document every week.
what should i do now i have nothing in my hands , and i am doing all the donkeys work... even my boss is not supporting me... politics is on its high peak in my organisation..... tell me how should i react , i want suggestion from you. hope i have cleared what is my problem, to you....
Looking forward for your reply.
Thanks & Regards,
Gunjan
From India, Delhi
Hi Gunjan,
NIce name :)
Thanks for reading my article.
Hey do not be upset with the problem. We all have to go through our share of problems, so don't worry.
If there were ego clashes in your organisation, I think your boss needs to do something. You did best of what you can do. We have the similar problem here in my organisation but there is no politics. Earlier people were reluctant to report to the Assistant but when boss was adamant on this no one complained and now the system is set for weekly as well as monthly reports.
So sweety, stop worrying on something you can't help.
I'll ask you to do a self assessment, Can you do that?
* Think about it, do you have anything to lose in this situation?
* Was there a mistake from your side? if no, be cool.
* If your boss is not willing, Why do you want to worry on this issue?
Do not lose hope.
If you need any thing else, do let us know.
Cheers :)
Archna
From India, Delhi
NIce name :)
Thanks for reading my article.
Hey do not be upset with the problem. We all have to go through our share of problems, so don't worry.
If there were ego clashes in your organisation, I think your boss needs to do something. You did best of what you can do. We have the similar problem here in my organisation but there is no politics. Earlier people were reluctant to report to the Assistant but when boss was adamant on this no one complained and now the system is set for weekly as well as monthly reports.
So sweety, stop worrying on something you can't help.
I'll ask you to do a self assessment, Can you do that?
* Think about it, do you have anything to lose in this situation?
* Was there a mistake from your side? if no, be cool.
* If your boss is not willing, Why do you want to worry on this issue?
Do not lose hope.
If you need any thing else, do let us know.
Cheers :)
Archna
From India, Delhi
Hye.... Archana Iam the new member of this forum. really your artical was very much informative and is very interesting. Keep Posting new articles. All the best wishes Thanks a lot Regards Reena
Dear Archna,
Sorry, I did not see your first part, but the topic of Conflict Management always makes me nostalgic because I had done a project on the same and was awarded the highest marks. From that time one I have always been dealing with various conflicts.
It was really nice of you to remind me of my Project Days where I had to slog and wait for quite sometime to get real life situations and put them in my project.
regards,
SC
From India, Thane
Sorry, I did not see your first part, but the topic of Conflict Management always makes me nostalgic because I had done a project on the same and was awarded the highest marks. From that time one I have always been dealing with various conflicts.
It was really nice of you to remind me of my Project Days where I had to slog and wait for quite sometime to get real life situations and put them in my project.
regards,
SC
From India, Thane
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