I have an unsual problem here. There is not so sensible guy in security who used to annoy me with silly intrusive questions. I used to answer him purely out of politeness even though the same questions everyday irritated me. But one day he passed a deragotary comment like "idiot" when i was about to close the door.Maybe i didn't meet his one sided expectations of chatting..but i heard it enough and complained to the manager to ban the secuirty guy from the floor. but the security management only asked the guy not to talk with me.The absurd thing i saw a colleague of his communicating the message! no stern message by a supervisor..it obviously didn't have the desired effect. they tried talking to me once some ten days later..but i just ignored them.. This time an old woman hand in glove with that guy passed a similar comment in similar circumstances..this time i was agitated enough to talk directly to the supervisor who finally passed the mesage this time to higher ups. I wanted the security transferred and penalised immediately.The superior promised that problem will be solved and that he will warn the guy enough..but he said he had difficulties transferring the security immediately..i told him this was the second time but he said the HQ came to hear about it now..if security guy misbehaves again, he promsied a transfer but for now he will issue a strong warning and promised it would end. i found this very annoying as i felt they are dealing with an incorrigible guy the wrong way and i had little faith that a guy would change......the culprits are facing no penalty for an insulting comment and it was only a issue of not disturbing me for the supervisors.. and i also had to face that hated guy atleast in evening..that guy was brought by the supervisor to meet me directly and he was made to apologise..he promised nothing would happen again...though i didn't like the fact he didn't admit his "comments" and he was obviously a natural liar....he showed his true colours just as i expected this week by making the same comment obviously smarting under the humiliation of my last complaint..this time i really laid into the supervisors...they have promised strong action and said transfer is sure..but i demanded harsh penalties for rude conduct...My feeling is the immediate supervisor is suited only good guys but not sociopath liars like the security guy..The thing is if my office colleague had said this, i would have his teeth re arranged but i was advised to let superiors deal with scum from the slums. should i have pursued the hard option the first time and settled it with a punch? or am i right in letting it go the legal way? i am so angry for the last few days that a guy who cannot match quarter of my first salary thinks he can't pass certificate to me(not that if a more qualified guy said it would be acceptable but they don't).. do lawyers have any option for me to deal with this if things are not satisfactory?...My manager thinks i am getting too agitated...but i don't think i have put up with comments from anyone and have the hassle of dealing with people i can't stand...i have the right to goto office in peace...its a pity they didn't heed my request the second time..i would have done it the first time itself! for 14 years i had no such issue..but one fool is enough for a lifetime!
From India, Chennai
1From India, Chennai
Dear Chnemp,
Cool down friend. At times we come across with situations like this. However what is needed is response and not reaction.
At this stage, I recommend you putting up proper written application reporting the facts. Please keep aside the logic or judgement.
Hope things will improve. If these do not improve then still write application addressing MD. If still nothing happens then call head of security agency and tell him that either transfer him or you will lodge police complaint.
You have not written whether you are male or female employee. If latter then you need to be little more cautious of your personal security.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
Cool down friend. At times we come across with situations like this. However what is needed is response and not reaction.
At this stage, I recommend you putting up proper written application reporting the facts. Please keep aside the logic or judgement.
Hope things will improve. If these do not improve then still write application addressing MD. If still nothing happens then call head of security agency and tell him that either transfer him or you will lodge police complaint.
You have not written whether you are male or female employee. If latter then you need to be little more cautious of your personal security.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
My replies got swallowed in IE..not sure why its happening
i am male..i reported immediately to building supervisor and my manager first time..the second time the building supervisor
escalated it to his superior. but they promised transfer only it happened again..i reminded him it was the second time..but he said this was the first he came to know of it.
the third time they finally said they will transfer and promised strong action..but 2 days later they are saying it will take two days and their response is becoming lukewarm...this is annoying me..
is it time to get a lawyer or police man up there?
From India, Chennai
i am male..i reported immediately to building supervisor and my manager first time..the second time the building supervisor
escalated it to his superior. but they promised transfer only it happened again..i reminded him it was the second time..but he said this was the first he came to know of it.
the third time they finally said they will transfer and promised strong action..but 2 days later they are saying it will take two days and their response is becoming lukewarm...this is annoying me..
is it time to get a lawyer or police man up there?
From India, Chennai
Is this security guy like this with others also or only with you?
You need to deal with such situations in calm and collected manner.
""The thing is if my office colleague had said this, i would have his teeth re arranged but i was advised to let superiors deal with scum from the slums. should i have pursued the hard option the first time and settled it with a punch? or am i right in letting it go the legal way? i am so angry for the last few days that a guy who cannot match quarter of my first salary thinks he can't pass certificate to me""
Is there any superiority complex being shown by you which is agitating the guard.Normally these people come from poorer segments and are worried abut their job.
The hard option of punch will be like a boomerang.Do NOT even think of it.
Your words show a raw side,which will do you no good.
You cannot rearrange others teeth unless you are a dentist.
""My manager thinks i am getting too agitated...but i don't think i have put up with comments from anyone and have the hassle of dealing with people i can't stand""
Why does your manager feel this??
You may come across many people you cannot stand,but then you need to ignore such people.
You cannot rectify them or take hard options.
"" This time an old woman hand in glove with that guy passed a similar comment in similar circumstances..""
Involvement of a lady can give a totally different spin to the whole issue.
My advice would be cool down,ignore this person and put the whole thing in writing to your management and bring out the behavioural issues and his bringing in a lady to the whole situation.
When you write place facts,words used by the guard and how he misbehaves and role of the lady guard also.
Do not express your opinion about status of the guard,your higher pay and hard options etc.
Deal with it in calm frame of mind.
Please do not mind my frank words.
From India, Pune
You need to deal with such situations in calm and collected manner.
""The thing is if my office colleague had said this, i would have his teeth re arranged but i was advised to let superiors deal with scum from the slums. should i have pursued the hard option the first time and settled it with a punch? or am i right in letting it go the legal way? i am so angry for the last few days that a guy who cannot match quarter of my first salary thinks he can't pass certificate to me""
Is there any superiority complex being shown by you which is agitating the guard.Normally these people come from poorer segments and are worried abut their job.
The hard option of punch will be like a boomerang.Do NOT even think of it.
Your words show a raw side,which will do you no good.
You cannot rearrange others teeth unless you are a dentist.
""My manager thinks i am getting too agitated...but i don't think i have put up with comments from anyone and have the hassle of dealing with people i can't stand""
Why does your manager feel this??
You may come across many people you cannot stand,but then you need to ignore such people.
You cannot rectify them or take hard options.
"" This time an old woman hand in glove with that guy passed a similar comment in similar circumstances..""
Involvement of a lady can give a totally different spin to the whole issue.
My advice would be cool down,ignore this person and put the whole thing in writing to your management and bring out the behavioural issues and his bringing in a lady to the whole situation.
When you write place facts,words used by the guard and how he misbehaves and role of the lady guard also.
Do not express your opinion about status of the guard,your higher pay and hard options etc.
Deal with it in calm frame of mind.
Please do not mind my frank words.
From India, Pune
"Is this security guy like this with others also or only with you?"
i am not sure questions like "are you the only one who got stolen" would be appropriate..
"Is there any superiority complex being shown by you which is agitating the guard.Normally these people
come from poorer segments and are worried abut their job."
You got it all wrong..he didn't insult in an agitated manner but in a manner of a eve teaser or
bully
Frankly you are not doing a good job of being in someone else's especially someone not in a normal mood.
X gets disturbed by Y. X retaliates and X is having "superiority complex" ?
i have seen it in other cases as well.In one article regarding
eve teasing , one of the poster blamed the retaliating woman as "rude" !
Without singing my own praises , i would say my ideology does not involve attacking the weak..
i hate the bullies ...i hate unproductive people who spend time disturbing others...does not matter which segment they
belong to
i do have sympathy for people among poorer segments who have a constructibe approach...that includes my one time class mate who was a poor talented guy
in a class of middle class and upper class students in a private school..my eyes still swell with tears when i
think of him
however there are unsavoury elemnts among poorer segments as well who spend time in unproductive pursuits lke drinking,
gossipping etc ...i don't have to be lenient just because they are poor and i sure as well have a right not
to be insulted!
I have been insulted...furstrated by the delaying attitude of the supervisors ....furstrated that nobody is strong enough
to get justice done
now see my words in that context and mood!
and you are forgetting that i answered that guy politely to the last when as he indulged in unsolicited chat time and
again and tested my patrience with silly intrusive questions every day!
i never could say to him "you are annoying me ,stop" for fear of being impolite
things changed only when he made those comments
I am soft spoken and polite....when i rip it out, it comes out in fury because i use conforntation
as the last resort and everything inside comes out at once!
"You may come across many people you cannot stand,but then you need to ignore such people."
and i did not know this?
if you can ignore people who needle you with words like "idiot fellow",good luck
there is a reason i cannot ignore
The reason i am unhappy is those superiors are too lukewarm to inspire confidence and the promised transfer keeps
inscreasing by two days!.
From India, Chennai
i am not sure questions like "are you the only one who got stolen" would be appropriate..
"Is there any superiority complex being shown by you which is agitating the guard.Normally these people
come from poorer segments and are worried abut their job."
You got it all wrong..he didn't insult in an agitated manner but in a manner of a eve teaser or
bully
Frankly you are not doing a good job of being in someone else's especially someone not in a normal mood.
X gets disturbed by Y. X retaliates and X is having "superiority complex" ?
i have seen it in other cases as well.In one article regarding
eve teasing , one of the poster blamed the retaliating woman as "rude" !
Without singing my own praises , i would say my ideology does not involve attacking the weak..
i hate the bullies ...i hate unproductive people who spend time disturbing others...does not matter which segment they
belong to
i do have sympathy for people among poorer segments who have a constructibe approach...that includes my one time class mate who was a poor talented guy
in a class of middle class and upper class students in a private school..my eyes still swell with tears when i
think of him
however there are unsavoury elemnts among poorer segments as well who spend time in unproductive pursuits lke drinking,
gossipping etc ...i don't have to be lenient just because they are poor and i sure as well have a right not
to be insulted!
I have been insulted...furstrated by the delaying attitude of the supervisors ....furstrated that nobody is strong enough
to get justice done
now see my words in that context and mood!
and you are forgetting that i answered that guy politely to the last when as he indulged in unsolicited chat time and
again and tested my patrience with silly intrusive questions every day!
i never could say to him "you are annoying me ,stop" for fear of being impolite
things changed only when he made those comments
I am soft spoken and polite....when i rip it out, it comes out in fury because i use conforntation
as the last resort and everything inside comes out at once!
"You may come across many people you cannot stand,but then you need to ignore such people."
and i did not know this?
if you can ignore people who needle you with words like "idiot fellow",good luck
there is a reason i cannot ignore
The reason i am unhappy is those superiors are too lukewarm to inspire confidence and the promised transfer keeps
inscreasing by two days!.
From India, Chennai
Dear friend,
I am sure that your feelings are well justified.
It is just that all angles are being explored.
We do get odd characters like this security guard.
My suggestion as already given would remain the same-give written complaint.
Include the aspect of women guard also.
But in mean time,remain cool and just ignore this person.
I am fully sympathetic to your problem.
From India, Pune
I am sure that your feelings are well justified.
It is just that all angles are being explored.
We do get odd characters like this security guard.
My suggestion as already given would remain the same-give written complaint.
Include the aspect of women guard also.
But in mean time,remain cool and just ignore this person.
I am fully sympathetic to your problem.
From India, Pune
Thanks for your understanding. But the power here belongs to the supervisors, failing which i have to consult
a legal expert.
what i don't understand is whether delay is genuinely due to resource crunch or they don't believe me.
From India, Chennai
a legal expert.
what i don't understand is whether delay is genuinely due to resource crunch or they don't believe me.
From India, Chennai
Chnemp,
Hello,
from your posts, I can understand you are very disturbed from the behavior and currently are very annoyed and agitated.
Now, the reason that Nathrao must have asked you - if the security guy behaves the same way with others also - was because if he does, it works in your favor, isn't it.
Now if he is irritating only you, what can be the reasons? Just a point to thought....
Again if one of my employees come and complain about any XYZ person about mischief / misbehavior, am I suppose to take that at the face value? Don't I need concrete information and solid proofs especially if I have to take a step as high as transfers or termination?
If tomorrow the security guard goes to the senior and says you chastised him, and they believe you at his face value and transfer you, is that acceptable?
Kindly understand that as HR (who ever the manager is) we have to follow the same rules for all irrespective of designation, seniority and gender. I hope at this junction you must be well aware of this thing.
If you seriously think that the security guard is misbehaving, you need to gather solid proofs to be produced first and then I can tell you how to proceed with that to the management to ensure the said guard is punished.
I hope this nails down to some concrete observations and conclusions.
From India, Mumbai
Hello,
from your posts, I can understand you are very disturbed from the behavior and currently are very annoyed and agitated.
Now, the reason that Nathrao must have asked you - if the security guy behaves the same way with others also - was because if he does, it works in your favor, isn't it.
Now if he is irritating only you, what can be the reasons? Just a point to thought....
Again if one of my employees come and complain about any XYZ person about mischief / misbehavior, am I suppose to take that at the face value? Don't I need concrete information and solid proofs especially if I have to take a step as high as transfers or termination?
If tomorrow the security guard goes to the senior and says you chastised him, and they believe you at his face value and transfer you, is that acceptable?
Kindly understand that as HR (who ever the manager is) we have to follow the same rules for all irrespective of designation, seniority and gender. I hope at this junction you must be well aware of this thing.
If you seriously think that the security guard is misbehaving, you need to gather solid proofs to be produced first and then I can tell you how to proceed with that to the management to ensure the said guard is punished.
I hope this nails down to some concrete observations and conclusions.
From India, Mumbai
Learned member Ankita has nailed the matter in her post and given a good answer covering all angles.
I precisely asked regarding guards behaviour to know is he rude with every one or only with one person.
Just because the person is a low paid guard standard of evidence of alleged misbehaviour cannot be lower.
Some of the answers of querist showed an angry side of the person by saying he would have re arranged teeth etc.
Even his own manager felt he was getting too agitated.
Such matters require a mature and tactful way of handling.
The querist also said a lady guard also passed comments.
There are always two sides to a story and we have not heard the guard.
But I equally have heard of misbehaving guards and querist could well be justified in complaining.
But the whole matter is a molehill and not a mountain.We must move on.
Put the whole thing in writing and leave it at that.
Give the guard a royal ignore.
From India, Pune
I precisely asked regarding guards behaviour to know is he rude with every one or only with one person.
Just because the person is a low paid guard standard of evidence of alleged misbehaviour cannot be lower.
Some of the answers of querist showed an angry side of the person by saying he would have re arranged teeth etc.
Even his own manager felt he was getting too agitated.
Such matters require a mature and tactful way of handling.
The querist also said a lady guard also passed comments.
There are always two sides to a story and we have not heard the guard.
But I equally have heard of misbehaving guards and querist could well be justified in complaining.
But the whole matter is a molehill and not a mountain.We must move on.
Put the whole thing in writing and leave it at that.
Give the guard a royal ignore.
From India, Pune
"Don't I need concrete information and solid proofs especially if I have to take a step as high as transfers or termination?"
I am aware of everything you said. but thanks
"If you seriously think that the security guard is misbehaving, you need to gather solid proofs to be produced first"
what do you mean "seriously think"? I am damn certain...or why else I complained about a security guy for the first time in my life ,college or office?
you do not know me- how I form my opinions, my observation skills, my reliance on facts and evidence, my level of critical thinking, my instincts etc...so let's not get into that
it suffices to say i judged it was concrete enough to take action and it has happened three times now anyway.
and more than anyone else i would dearly love to catch the guy with clinching evidence and shame him ofcourse but i don't have a video cam everywhere do i?
nor am i a police man or detective who has access ,scope and permission for deep investigation
i can only narrate events as i remember as accurately as possible.
i did ask the supervisor if they have any experienced investigator in their agency and i would welcome any such person. he replied the culprit shud admit the truth or how else how could they know!
but he said he will transfer as this is the third complaint
The supervisors could have evolved an action plan to monitor the guy after the first complaint. they could have brought most experienced hand to investigate since they are
running a security agency.
And you haven't seen their tardiness. i saw the guy's colleague giving the first warning like a buddy! how effective that would be !
the second time , they told me they gave "strong warning"...what i saw was the building supervisor talking directly
"are you guilty"...wonder what the guy's answer would be!
and the third time they were sounding encouraging in the aftermath and promsied 'strong action'...but yesterday it was as
if they woke up ,after i called again!
I have been largely conflict free(at a personal level) since college days and i am not experienced in this kind of situation.
if anyone has fresh ideas or approach, do tell.
From India, Chennai
I am aware of everything you said. but thanks
"If you seriously think that the security guard is misbehaving, you need to gather solid proofs to be produced first"
what do you mean "seriously think"? I am damn certain...or why else I complained about a security guy for the first time in my life ,college or office?
you do not know me- how I form my opinions, my observation skills, my reliance on facts and evidence, my level of critical thinking, my instincts etc...so let's not get into that
it suffices to say i judged it was concrete enough to take action and it has happened three times now anyway.
and more than anyone else i would dearly love to catch the guy with clinching evidence and shame him ofcourse but i don't have a video cam everywhere do i?
nor am i a police man or detective who has access ,scope and permission for deep investigation
i can only narrate events as i remember as accurately as possible.
i did ask the supervisor if they have any experienced investigator in their agency and i would welcome any such person. he replied the culprit shud admit the truth or how else how could they know!
but he said he will transfer as this is the third complaint
The supervisors could have evolved an action plan to monitor the guy after the first complaint. they could have brought most experienced hand to investigate since they are
running a security agency.
And you haven't seen their tardiness. i saw the guy's colleague giving the first warning like a buddy! how effective that would be !
the second time , they told me they gave "strong warning"...what i saw was the building supervisor talking directly
"are you guilty"...wonder what the guy's answer would be!
and the third time they were sounding encouraging in the aftermath and promsied 'strong action'...but yesterday it was as
if they woke up ,after i called again!
I have been largely conflict free(at a personal level) since college days and i am not experienced in this kind of situation.
if anyone has fresh ideas or approach, do tell.
From India, Chennai
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