Hello Members,
I recently had to travel to my native place for my cousin's wedding. As it is the festive season in Kerala, the travel crowd is very large during this time. People from all corners of the country travel to this paradise for the Onam Season.
We returned on Sunday and had to rush to the railway station as we were already late. It was just my dad, mom, and myself returning from my native place. We somehow managed to get tickets in the morning reservation, and when the train arrived...
My dad and I were holding the luggage and searching for space. It was crowded, and we kept walking from one compartment to the other in search of a place. Finally, we came to a compartment and saw a lady neatly lying down with her hands and legs stretched out, sleeping. Her husband was sitting next to her, and there was little space to his left. When he saw us coming, he occupied that space by keeping his bag. I was so angry at this act and asked him to move a bit so that my mom or dad could sit. I could not bear to see my mom and dad standing for a long time. He argued with me, stating that he had reserved the entire seat for himself and did not want to wake his wife up. I got even angrier and asked him, "Nothing will hurt you if you give some space for my mother to sit!" in a very angry tone. I asked my mom to sit there for a while until I searched for another place. Meanwhile, my dad adjusted to stand near another seat, and I was worried to see them both struggling. An elderly person near this couple's place got up and offered his seat to me. I felt bad and told him I could stand, but he moved a bit in front and gave me a little place to sit. He said, "Daughter, don't hurt your feet. Moreover, people walking to and fro may have intentions to simply disturb you. Please sit." He and his wife offered me a little place. I was moved. I was still angry with the couple...
After a while, when the couple moved out, the elderly parents also got off the train, and I learned that the lady had recently undergone brain tumor surgery, and her whole left side of the body was paralyzed. Her husband did not want to keep telling every single person that his wife was sick as she cried each time anyone looked at her with sympathy.
The elderly parents who gave me space to sit were none other than this lady's parents.
Tears were running out of my eyes.
After all, I could have kept quiet by not hurting them or staring so hard at them. If I had been calm, I would have observed things around and noticed a wheelchair folded next to the seat.
Sometimes in life, we misunderstand people because they are silent about their pain. They don't tell us, so it tends to make people take them for granted, like how I did.
At work too, if someone is upset, silent, or behaving differently, let's wait to find the real reason before we shout at them or make them feel more miserable.
I felt ashamed. The whole journey, I was thinking about "What would life be like if you couldn't feel one side of your body... and what a loving husband. He did not want anyone to know that his wife was sick, so protective, so loving. And the aged parents... how loving they were to someone who got angry at their sick daughter?"
I felt like I received a slap on my face by their act of love and kindness, and I felt that no materialistic gift can compare to the love of that husband for his wife. The best part was she was asleep, not knowing how much her husband cares for her.
Dear all... This Onam is different for me. Happy Onam to you all and wish you a prosperous year ahead!
From India, Madras
I recently had to travel to my native place for my cousin's wedding. As it is the festive season in Kerala, the travel crowd is very large during this time. People from all corners of the country travel to this paradise for the Onam Season.
We returned on Sunday and had to rush to the railway station as we were already late. It was just my dad, mom, and myself returning from my native place. We somehow managed to get tickets in the morning reservation, and when the train arrived...
My dad and I were holding the luggage and searching for space. It was crowded, and we kept walking from one compartment to the other in search of a place. Finally, we came to a compartment and saw a lady neatly lying down with her hands and legs stretched out, sleeping. Her husband was sitting next to her, and there was little space to his left. When he saw us coming, he occupied that space by keeping his bag. I was so angry at this act and asked him to move a bit so that my mom or dad could sit. I could not bear to see my mom and dad standing for a long time. He argued with me, stating that he had reserved the entire seat for himself and did not want to wake his wife up. I got even angrier and asked him, "Nothing will hurt you if you give some space for my mother to sit!" in a very angry tone. I asked my mom to sit there for a while until I searched for another place. Meanwhile, my dad adjusted to stand near another seat, and I was worried to see them both struggling. An elderly person near this couple's place got up and offered his seat to me. I felt bad and told him I could stand, but he moved a bit in front and gave me a little place to sit. He said, "Daughter, don't hurt your feet. Moreover, people walking to and fro may have intentions to simply disturb you. Please sit." He and his wife offered me a little place. I was moved. I was still angry with the couple...
After a while, when the couple moved out, the elderly parents also got off the train, and I learned that the lady had recently undergone brain tumor surgery, and her whole left side of the body was paralyzed. Her husband did not want to keep telling every single person that his wife was sick as she cried each time anyone looked at her with sympathy.
The elderly parents who gave me space to sit were none other than this lady's parents.
Tears were running out of my eyes.
After all, I could have kept quiet by not hurting them or staring so hard at them. If I had been calm, I would have observed things around and noticed a wheelchair folded next to the seat.
Sometimes in life, we misunderstand people because they are silent about their pain. They don't tell us, so it tends to make people take them for granted, like how I did.
At work too, if someone is upset, silent, or behaving differently, let's wait to find the real reason before we shout at them or make them feel more miserable.
I felt ashamed. The whole journey, I was thinking about "What would life be like if you couldn't feel one side of your body... and what a loving husband. He did not want anyone to know that his wife was sick, so protective, so loving. And the aged parents... how loving they were to someone who got angry at their sick daughter?"
I felt like I received a slap on my face by their act of love and kindness, and I felt that no materialistic gift can compare to the love of that husband for his wife. The best part was she was asleep, not knowing how much her husband cares for her.
Dear all... This Onam is different for me. Happy Onam to you all and wish you a prosperous year ahead!
From India, Madras
Hi Ash, The true characterisctics of a person lies in realising his/her mistakes. Though you did inadvertently a mistake, you realised and felt. I appreciate your gesture.
From India, Lucknow
From India, Lucknow
Thank you, Ponraj.
This incident made me think about how I should approach someone and not expect pain to be written on someone's face to show some kind gesture. Otherwise, there is no difference between an animal and a human being.
From India, Madras
This incident made me think about how I should approach someone and not expect pain to be written on someone's face to show some kind gesture. Otherwise, there is no difference between an animal and a human being.
From India, Madras
Dear Asha,
Hats off to you. A really touching incident, and thank you for posting it here. This reminds me of a saying in Kannada, "Pratyakshisidaroo pramaNisi nODu". It means even if you witness something, ask the person to take an oath. Instead of getting angry, had you asked why he had to reserve so many seats for his wife to sleep, he might have answered.
Thanks for having the courage to publicize your experience. I hope many members read this post and learn how not to react, even mentally.
Have a nice day.
Simhan
A retired academic in the UK.
"It is never too late to learn or improve oneself."
From United Kingdom
Hats off to you. A really touching incident, and thank you for posting it here. This reminds me of a saying in Kannada, "Pratyakshisidaroo pramaNisi nODu". It means even if you witness something, ask the person to take an oath. Instead of getting angry, had you asked why he had to reserve so many seats for his wife to sleep, he might have answered.
Thanks for having the courage to publicize your experience. I hope many members read this post and learn how not to react, even mentally.
Have a nice day.
Simhan
A retired academic in the UK.
"It is never too late to learn or improve oneself."
From United Kingdom
Hi, This was indeed a heart touching story and even more when you realized that you did wrong to them. But didn’t get the point of posting it in the HRM section!!! Regards
From India, Delhi
From India, Delhi
Thank you for raising this question, Ditti. HRM stands for "Human Resource Management." What better HR professional can I be if I am not able to perceive the core of reasoning behind why a person behaves entirely differently in a particular situation?
HR is at least one of those fields where you get to apply your day-to-day learning through human interaction at work. After all, the better an HR professional is at listening and understanding, the more open employees are in sharing their views.
Had I been calm, I would have observed things around me and noticed a wheelchair next to the seat. A calm mind matters a lot, both at work and in managing human resources.
Once again, thank you for the question so I could clarify.
From India, Madras
HR is at least one of those fields where you get to apply your day-to-day learning through human interaction at work. After all, the better an HR professional is at listening and understanding, the more open employees are in sharing their views.
Had I been calm, I would have observed things around me and noticed a wheelchair next to the seat. A calm mind matters a lot, both at work and in managing human resources.
Once again, thank you for the question so I could clarify.
From India, Madras
Dear Asha Mathew,
First of all, Happy Onam to you and your family. Rest assured, not only next year, but every year in your life should be more and more prosperous. It is evident from your post that you have an innocent heart, a pious attitude, and, most of all, a fair intent. It is clear that you not only care for your near and dear ones, but you are also a good learner through each experience (which, in turn, becomes a value addition due to your positive learning vibes). May I add one more line - the person who learns to mature from experience is much more learned than one who boasts about materialistic bookish knowledge. You belong to the former category. God bless you. All the best, and once again, Happy Onam to you and all.
From India, Delhi
First of all, Happy Onam to you and your family. Rest assured, not only next year, but every year in your life should be more and more prosperous. It is evident from your post that you have an innocent heart, a pious attitude, and, most of all, a fair intent. It is clear that you not only care for your near and dear ones, but you are also a good learner through each experience (which, in turn, becomes a value addition due to your positive learning vibes). May I add one more line - the person who learns to mature from experience is much more learned than one who boasts about materialistic bookish knowledge. You belong to the former category. God bless you. All the best, and once again, Happy Onam to you and all.
From India, Delhi
Hi Asha Mathew, I forget to add one line "I AM FORTUNATE TO HAVE A FRIEND LIKE YOU - GOD BLESS"
From India, Delhi
From India, Delhi
I think managing Human Resources starts from managing oneself. I believe life incidents (like that Ash shared) are great learning lessons, more significant than what we learn from textbooks. It's all about managing situations, emotions, and learning to empathize - so much a part of HRM.
Regards,
Shijit.
From India, Kochi
Regards,
Shijit.
From India, Kochi
Dear Ash,
Thanks for sharing such a learning story. Please do not feel bad. It is a lesson for us that we need not to make a quick decision about anyone's behavior without knowing the actual situation.
Bharti
From India, Faridabad
Thanks for sharing such a learning story. Please do not feel bad. It is a lesson for us that we need not to make a quick decision about anyone's behavior without knowing the actual situation.
Bharti
From India, Faridabad
Dear Ash,
This real-life experience indicates the affection the husband has towards his wife. It is wonderful to have such experiences spelled out in this forum, as it makes life more meaningful with the "truth" we get out of such experiences. Needless to say, Ash, you are growing with all feathers, and Happy ONAM to you and your family.
I have learned a lot from you, professionally and thoughtfully. No words to say.
With best regards,
Balaji.
---
Hello Members,
I had to recently travel to my native for my cousin's wedding. Being the festive season in Kerala - the travel crowd is very huge in this season. People from all corners of the country travel to this paradise for the Onam Season. We returned back on Sunday and had to rush to the Rlwy station as we were already late. It was just my dad, mom, and myself returning from my native. We somehow managed to get the tickets in morning reservation, and when the train arrived...
Dad and I were holding the luggage and searching for space. It was crowded, and we kept walking from one compartment to the other in search of a place. Finally, we came to a compartment, and we saw that a lady was neatly lying down with hands and legs stretched and sleeping. Her husband was sitting next to her, and there was little place to his left. When he saw us coming, he occupied that place by keeping his bag. I was so angry at this act and asked him to move a bit so that my mom or dad could sit. I could not bear to see my mom and dad standing for a long time. He argued with me, stating that he had reserved the entire seat for himself and did not want to wake his wife up. I got even angrier and asked him, "Nothing will hurt you if you give some space for my mother to sit!" in a very angry tone. I asked my mom to sit there for a while until I searched for another place. Meanwhile, Dad adjusted to stand near another seat, and I was worried to see them both struggling. One elderly person near this couple's place got up and offered his seat for me. I felt bad and told him I could stand. But he moved a bit in the front and gave me a little place to sit. He said, "Daughter, don't hurt your feet. Moreover, people walking to and fro may have intentions to simply disturb you. Please sit." He and his wife offered me a little place. I was moved. I was still angry with the couple...
After a while, when the couple moved out, the old parents also got off the train, and I learned that the lady had just been operated on recently for a brain tumor, and her whole left side body was paralyzed. Her husband did not want to keep telling every single person that his wife was sick, as she cried each time anyone looked at her with sympathy. The old parents who gave me space to sit were none other than this lady's parents. I had tears running out of my eyes.
After all, I could have shut my mouth by not hurting them or looking very hard at them. Sometimes in life, we misunderstand people because they are silent about their pain. They don't tell it to us, so it tends to make people take them for granted, like how I did. At work too, if someone is upset or silent or behaves differently, let's wait to find the real reason before we shout at them or even make them feel more miserable. I felt ashamed the whole journey, thinking about "What would life be if you cannot feel the other side of your body... and what a loving husband. He did not want anyone to know that his wife was sick, so protective, so loving. And the aged parents... how loving they were to someone who got angry at their sick daughter?" I felt like I received a slap on my face by their act of love and kindness, and I felt that no materialistic gift can compromise the love of that husband for his wife. The best part was... she was asleep, not knowing how much her husband cares for her.
Dear all... This Onam is different for me. Happy Onam to you all and wish you a prosperous year ahead!
From India, Madras
This real-life experience indicates the affection the husband has towards his wife. It is wonderful to have such experiences spelled out in this forum, as it makes life more meaningful with the "truth" we get out of such experiences. Needless to say, Ash, you are growing with all feathers, and Happy ONAM to you and your family.
I have learned a lot from you, professionally and thoughtfully. No words to say.
With best regards,
Balaji.
---
Hello Members,
I had to recently travel to my native for my cousin's wedding. Being the festive season in Kerala - the travel crowd is very huge in this season. People from all corners of the country travel to this paradise for the Onam Season. We returned back on Sunday and had to rush to the Rlwy station as we were already late. It was just my dad, mom, and myself returning from my native. We somehow managed to get the tickets in morning reservation, and when the train arrived...
Dad and I were holding the luggage and searching for space. It was crowded, and we kept walking from one compartment to the other in search of a place. Finally, we came to a compartment, and we saw that a lady was neatly lying down with hands and legs stretched and sleeping. Her husband was sitting next to her, and there was little place to his left. When he saw us coming, he occupied that place by keeping his bag. I was so angry at this act and asked him to move a bit so that my mom or dad could sit. I could not bear to see my mom and dad standing for a long time. He argued with me, stating that he had reserved the entire seat for himself and did not want to wake his wife up. I got even angrier and asked him, "Nothing will hurt you if you give some space for my mother to sit!" in a very angry tone. I asked my mom to sit there for a while until I searched for another place. Meanwhile, Dad adjusted to stand near another seat, and I was worried to see them both struggling. One elderly person near this couple's place got up and offered his seat for me. I felt bad and told him I could stand. But he moved a bit in the front and gave me a little place to sit. He said, "Daughter, don't hurt your feet. Moreover, people walking to and fro may have intentions to simply disturb you. Please sit." He and his wife offered me a little place. I was moved. I was still angry with the couple...
After a while, when the couple moved out, the old parents also got off the train, and I learned that the lady had just been operated on recently for a brain tumor, and her whole left side body was paralyzed. Her husband did not want to keep telling every single person that his wife was sick, as she cried each time anyone looked at her with sympathy. The old parents who gave me space to sit were none other than this lady's parents. I had tears running out of my eyes.
After all, I could have shut my mouth by not hurting them or looking very hard at them. Sometimes in life, we misunderstand people because they are silent about their pain. They don't tell it to us, so it tends to make people take them for granted, like how I did. At work too, if someone is upset or silent or behaves differently, let's wait to find the real reason before we shout at them or even make them feel more miserable. I felt ashamed the whole journey, thinking about "What would life be if you cannot feel the other side of your body... and what a loving husband. He did not want anyone to know that his wife was sick, so protective, so loving. And the aged parents... how loving they were to someone who got angry at their sick daughter?" I felt like I received a slap on my face by their act of love and kindness, and I felt that no materialistic gift can compromise the love of that husband for his wife. The best part was... she was asleep, not knowing how much her husband cares for her.
Dear all... This Onam is different for me. Happy Onam to you all and wish you a prosperous year ahead!
From India, Madras
Hi Asha,
That's really a heart-touching story. However, I have some doubts that it happened to you because I heard the same story from one of my friends a few months ago. It may be possible that it also happened to you.
Happy Onam!
Dada
From India, New Delhi
That's really a heart-touching story. However, I have some doubts that it happened to you because I heard the same story from one of my friends a few months ago. It may be possible that it also happened to you.
Happy Onam!
Dada
From India, New Delhi
Dear Dada, To clarify your doubts over the facts, yes it happened. ...Dada in life - not just one person meets with an accident - many people do. Thanks & Ponn Onam Ashamsakal!
From India, Madras
From India, Madras
Hi everyone,
Please read it as many times as possible because every time I read it, I observe new and interesting aspects of human behavior. It also reminds me of the mistakes I have made just because I am not bothered to "look around"!
Thanks,
Asha
From India, Kochi
Please read it as many times as possible because every time I read it, I observe new and interesting aspects of human behavior. It also reminds me of the mistakes I have made just because I am not bothered to "look around"!
Thanks,
Asha
From India, Kochi
Hi Ash Hats off u, this stituation arises for al in daily life.. Mistake might happen but how w handle is the task..... thanks for posting.. it help us in all circumstance happy onam...
From India, Madras
From India, Madras
Hi Asha,
That's a truly touching incident. Thanks for posting. I hope a lot of people gain from your experience. All it takes to make the world a better place to live are such gestures of empathy and kindness from each human being.
Regards,
Ashwini
From India, Vadodara
That's a truly touching incident. Thanks for posting. I hope a lot of people gain from your experience. All it takes to make the world a better place to live are such gestures of empathy and kindness from each human being.
Regards,
Ashwini
From India, Vadodara
Hello, Asha. Matthew, this is a really heart-touching incident. I am trying to understand your feelings because you have experienced that. Without true love and care, life becomes a lie. In the same manner, without feelings and sentiments, a person cannot remain human. These qualities make a difference between a human and an animal.
A very learning incident you shared with us, thank you.
With regards,
From India, Dehra Dun
A very learning incident you shared with us, thank you.
With regards,
From India, Dehra Dun
Thank you for sharing your experience. It will help all those who are reading this article to be more cautious and behave in a better manner in a similar situation. We all commit mistakes, but it requires a big and brave heart to admit it. You have that, and it will definitely help you to go a long way. Onashamsakal!!!
From India, Madras
From India, Madras
I guess it requires a lot of guts to say that you were wrong. Hats off to you. Good to hear that there are husbands who still care so much for their wives. I know you must have felt bad, but it was an unintentional act, so don't abuse yourself. From your own experience, I have learned a lot. Thanks.
From India, Mumbai
From India, Mumbai
Yes, I agree to Ash. Human Relation is so important at our work and our life.
3000 years back it was so beautifully said by Jesus (PBUH), "Nothing that goes into someone from outside can make that person unclean; it is the things that come out of someone that make that person unclean. For it is from within, from the heart, that evil intentions emerge. All evil things come from within and make a person unclean”.
Regards,
ukmitra
From Saudi Arabia, Riyadh
3000 years back it was so beautifully said by Jesus (PBUH), "Nothing that goes into someone from outside can make that person unclean; it is the things that come out of someone that make that person unclean. For it is from within, from the heart, that evil intentions emerge. All evil things come from within and make a person unclean”.
Regards,
ukmitra
From Saudi Arabia, Riyadh
Yes, Taz, I agree with you. Every creature is unique as created by God, and one must never compare with others. But what Ash meant, please don't take it literally. I am sure you have understood the essence of the story - human relations. Cheers, buddy.
Regards,
ukmitra
From Saudi Arabia, Riyadh
Regards,
ukmitra
From Saudi Arabia, Riyadh
Hi Asha,
Sharing real-life experiences by realizing your mistakes is truly admirable. This learning is invaluable. Humanity is diminishing in this fast-paced world; let us all revive it through our kind acts. Thank you for this post.
I hope your experience has reached many and will continue to reach many through me. Happy Onam.
From India, Bangalore
Sharing real-life experiences by realizing your mistakes is truly admirable. This learning is invaluable. Humanity is diminishing in this fast-paced world; let us all revive it through our kind acts. Thank you for this post.
I hope your experience has reached many and will continue to reach many through me. Happy Onam.
From India, Bangalore
I'm impressed by your boldness in fighting for your right. It's truly a very hard position to be in. That is how life always unfolds. Even with your best intentions, you feel that you have done something wrong!
I really don't think so... If you had the boldness required to ask or fight for what you had a right to, you should also have the courage to apologize politely when you find out that you made a mistake and then just stop thinking about it. So stop worrying!
Not only for your future traveling pursuits, but for life as well. Good luck! Bye.
From India, Coimbatore
I really don't think so... If you had the boldness required to ask or fight for what you had a right to, you should also have the courage to apologize politely when you find out that you made a mistake and then just stop thinking about it. So stop worrying!
Not only for your future traveling pursuits, but for life as well. Good luck! Bye.
From India, Coimbatore
I really liked the way you expressed your regrets towards them. It reflects your humanistic attitude. Please do not feel bad that you didn't behave well with them in the beginning. I justify you, as you were not aware of the whole scene, and you were just concerned about the seat for your parents. Really, you've touched our hearts with this story.
Good luck! :icon1:
Visu
From India, Hyderabad
Good luck! :icon1:
Visu
From India, Hyderabad
First of all, I would like to wish you a happy Onam to you and your family. The thing that you posted was a nice experience. Hats off to her husband! I can surely say that "realizing the mistake is the best punishment." So, hats off to you too! One thing I would like to quote:
"WE ARE THE SLAVES OF WHAT WE LEAD OUT... WE ARE THE MASTERS OF WHAT WE KNOW."
Once again, "WISH YOU A HAPPY & PROSPEROUS ONAM :)
---
I corrected the spelling and grammar errors in the user's input and formatted the text into separate paragraphs for better readability.
From India, Madras
"WE ARE THE SLAVES OF WHAT WE LEAD OUT... WE ARE THE MASTERS OF WHAT WE KNOW."
Once again, "WISH YOU A HAPPY & PROSPEROUS ONAM :)
---
I corrected the spelling and grammar errors in the user's input and formatted the text into separate paragraphs for better readability.
From India, Madras
That was indeed very touching, friends. However, to follow what is already shared by all the members in this thread, we need to remind ourselves every single day, every single moment of instances like these. There will be times when the anger or the situation might get the better of us. So our effort should be to remain true to ourselves and follow the adage, "treat others like you'd like to be treated by them."
I guess I am being too philosophical here, so I will probably end it for now :-) Take care!
From India, Delhi
I guess I am being too philosophical here, so I will probably end it for now :-) Take care!
From India, Delhi
Hi Ash Mathew,
Happy Onam.
Nowadays, respecting elders and other humanitarian attitudes are very rare in public places. Only selfishness is seen among most people. I appreciate you for posting your experience because most of us do not realize our mistakes. Even if we do realize them, we may not want to express it to others. However, you posted on the HR site, like an apology, and shared your experience as a lesson to others. Hats off to you! I really appreciate you wholeheartedly.
I pray that the almighty Lord Maveli blesses all those families and for the speedy recovery of the lady on this special day.
Happy Onam.
Subiah.G
Chennai
9790948301
From India, Madras
Happy Onam.
Nowadays, respecting elders and other humanitarian attitudes are very rare in public places. Only selfishness is seen among most people. I appreciate you for posting your experience because most of us do not realize our mistakes. Even if we do realize them, we may not want to express it to others. However, you posted on the HR site, like an apology, and shared your experience as a lesson to others. Hats off to you! I really appreciate you wholeheartedly.
I pray that the almighty Lord Maveli blesses all those families and for the speedy recovery of the lady on this special day.
Happy Onam.
Subiah.G
Chennai
9790948301
From India, Madras
Actually, there is no need to worry about what has happened. Being judgmental is a common human behavior. This is a scientific behavioral process known as selective perception. 80% of the time, we exhibit this process in our lives without even realizing it.
Don't feel perturbed.
Since you have regretted the incident and realized your folly, get up, and get ready to face the next challenge in life.
I will share a similar incident that happened in my life.
It was the first week of July 2008. I went to a school to collect the Teacher's Registration form for my neighbor as the school is on my way to the office. I reached the reception desk in the morning, and many people, including parents, were sitting there to get the form. The school had already started the previous week after the summer vacations.
A man came and sat next to me. When the receptionist was somewhat free, he asked her to call the class teacher of Class V and Class II. He then sat next to me on my left side. Feeling bored after sitting for the last 15 minutes, I initiated a conversation to pass the time. I asked him about his children and in which class they were studying. He remained speechless. I then inquired whether he was an office goer or had his own business. Again, he remained silent. I was surprised by his lack of response. The man sitting on my right side was also observing the situation. I struck up a conversation with the person on my right side. After exchanging formal greetings, we immediately began making judgments about the person who was not responding. I commented that he seemed asocial, mannerless, and thought highly of himself, even though he appeared to be from a mediocre family. The other person remarked that he lacked etiquette and probably never attended a good school. Gradually, we became very sarcastic about him.
After another 10 minutes, both the class teachers of Class II and V arrived. They asked for the parent who had called them. Upon being informed that he was the father of Neha and Udit, they started shouting at him. They expressed their disappointment that the school had been open for a week, and he had not sent his children, making it difficult to catch up with the syllabus.
SUDDENLY, THE PERSON STARTED WEEPING. IN A SOFT TONE, HE EXPLAINED THAT HE HAD COME TO INFORM THEM THAT DURING THE SUMMER VACATION, HIS CHILDREN HAD GONE TO HARIDWAR FOR GANGA ISHNAN AND BOTH OF THEM HAD DROWNED IN THE STRONG CURRENT OF THE WATER. THEY WERE NO LONGER ALIVE AS THEIR BODIES HAD BEEN RECOVERED.
There was a sudden silence in the reception area. The teachers began crying, as did all the parents present in the room. I felt deeply saddened by the incident and regretted my hasty judgment and selective perception behavior.
WHAT ELSE CAN BE SAID.
From India, Delhi
Don't feel perturbed.
Since you have regretted the incident and realized your folly, get up, and get ready to face the next challenge in life.
I will share a similar incident that happened in my life.
It was the first week of July 2008. I went to a school to collect the Teacher's Registration form for my neighbor as the school is on my way to the office. I reached the reception desk in the morning, and many people, including parents, were sitting there to get the form. The school had already started the previous week after the summer vacations.
A man came and sat next to me. When the receptionist was somewhat free, he asked her to call the class teacher of Class V and Class II. He then sat next to me on my left side. Feeling bored after sitting for the last 15 minutes, I initiated a conversation to pass the time. I asked him about his children and in which class they were studying. He remained speechless. I then inquired whether he was an office goer or had his own business. Again, he remained silent. I was surprised by his lack of response. The man sitting on my right side was also observing the situation. I struck up a conversation with the person on my right side. After exchanging formal greetings, we immediately began making judgments about the person who was not responding. I commented that he seemed asocial, mannerless, and thought highly of himself, even though he appeared to be from a mediocre family. The other person remarked that he lacked etiquette and probably never attended a good school. Gradually, we became very sarcastic about him.
After another 10 minutes, both the class teachers of Class II and V arrived. They asked for the parent who had called them. Upon being informed that he was the father of Neha and Udit, they started shouting at him. They expressed their disappointment that the school had been open for a week, and he had not sent his children, making it difficult to catch up with the syllabus.
SUDDENLY, THE PERSON STARTED WEEPING. IN A SOFT TONE, HE EXPLAINED THAT HE HAD COME TO INFORM THEM THAT DURING THE SUMMER VACATION, HIS CHILDREN HAD GONE TO HARIDWAR FOR GANGA ISHNAN AND BOTH OF THEM HAD DROWNED IN THE STRONG CURRENT OF THE WATER. THEY WERE NO LONGER ALIVE AS THEIR BODIES HAD BEEN RECOVERED.
There was a sudden silence in the reception area. The teachers began crying, as did all the parents present in the room. I felt deeply saddened by the incident and regretted my hasty judgment and selective perception behavior.
WHAT ELSE CAN BE SAID.
From India, Delhi
Dear Ash,
You are perfectly justified in putting this true incident on the HR site. The HR community has to deal with humans and their emotions. In one of my previous posts, I had commended your emotionally charged postings. Keep up your efforts. God bless you, and Happy Onam.
Regards,
Y. K. Kalia, Advocate (Sr. Ctzn.)
From India, Delhi
You are perfectly justified in putting this true incident on the HR site. The HR community has to deal with humans and their emotions. In one of my previous posts, I had commended your emotionally charged postings. Keep up your efforts. God bless you, and Happy Onam.
Regards,
Y. K. Kalia, Advocate (Sr. Ctzn.)
From India, Delhi
Dear Jatinder,
I apologize for failing to respond to the true story you shared. You are correct in pointing out that, as humans, we have lost our empathetic and sympathetic attitudes towards our fellow beings. This lack of compassion is evident in the turmoil and violence that surrounds us.
Regards,
Y.K. Kalia
Advocate (Sr. Citizen)
From India, Delhi
I apologize for failing to respond to the true story you shared. You are correct in pointing out that, as humans, we have lost our empathetic and sympathetic attitudes towards our fellow beings. This lack of compassion is evident in the turmoil and violence that surrounds us.
Regards,
Y.K. Kalia
Advocate (Sr. Citizen)
From India, Delhi
Hi,
Thank you for sharing your incident. In our professional lives, we often make these kinds of mistakes, such as when someone arrives late, and we start shouting without knowing the reason. I hope this will prompt all of us to consider the facts before reacting.
Thank you once again.
From Oman, Muscat
Thank you for sharing your incident. In our professional lives, we often make these kinds of mistakes, such as when someone arrives late, and we start shouting without knowing the reason. I hope this will prompt all of us to consider the facts before reacting.
Thank you once again.
From Oman, Muscat
Angriness and happiness are part of life due to the situations and circumstances that arise with us. You may hurt unknowingly, and on the other hand, by knowing the truth, you realize your fault, showing the true nature of human beings. You posted a wonderful true story to learn a lesson from your experience on an HR site. I hope it's the best place where genuine human care exists.
Thanks and keep posting good things;
Atiur Rahman
From Greece
Thanks and keep posting good things;
Atiur Rahman
From Greece
Hi Asha, I am a new member in this group. Your experience and the way you narated the episode is unforgetable. Thanks for sharing. It makes us think before talking. Best Regards Asha R M
From India, Bangalore
From India, Bangalore
It's really a very heartwarming thing. Each and every time after reading this piece, I get to know the different aspects of viewing life and the people. Thanks for posting and sharing such a nice thing.
From India, Calcutta
From India, Calcutta
Hello everybody!
It's touching... Life is full of little surprises and certain experiences that change your whole perspective about it. It is important to understand that each time life teaches a lesson, it's our choice to incorporate it into our lives and better ourselves.
From India, Bangalore
It's touching... Life is full of little surprises and certain experiences that change your whole perspective about it. It is important to understand that each time life teaches a lesson, it's our choice to incorporate it into our lives and better ourselves.
From India, Bangalore
Dear Jatinder, It was painfull to read the last few lines. Its so true - Words must be chosen carefully, and I will make sure I will henceforth.
From India, Madras
From India, Madras
Dear me, short perceptions lead to long disturbances. Alas! How humanity has become self-centered and self-constrained. Thanks to self-appraisals, as they are the best way to realize ourselves.
Next time I travel, I will remember you, dear, as I am a short-tempered person.
Thank you.
From Maldives
Next time I travel, I will remember you, dear, as I am a short-tempered person.
Thank you.
From Maldives
Your story has moved me as well, but I appreciate that you had the ability to accept your mistake and post this incident on such a big forum. This incident has a very good message and I think we all have learned a good lesson from this. Thanks for sharing this with us :)
From India, Mumbai
From India, Mumbai
Thank you for sharing this heart-touching experience with us. It is understandable to get angry in such situations, as the majority of people we encounter tend to act in a way that does not allow space to sit, and we may assume that everyone is the same. However, this experience serves as a lesson for all of us, as it is a story that resonates with everyone. Your post has imparted a valuable moral lesson, and for that, I would like to express my gratitude once again.
From India, Pune
From India, Pune
Hi Ash,
All of us, at some point in time, "act in haste and repent at leisure." This only shows our human side. "To err is human, to forgive is divine," which is what the husband did. You have also achieved divinity by acknowledging your mistake and feeling guilty. To post it in the forum where you have highlighted your mistake shows your broad-mindedness.
There is no point in hurting yourself unnecessarily. Much water should have flown under the bridge. We all have learned a lesson from you. Thanks for teaching us a lesson.
Happy Onam (with no regrets) to you and all our fellow brethren across Kerala, wherever they might be.
From India, Madras
All of us, at some point in time, "act in haste and repent at leisure." This only shows our human side. "To err is human, to forgive is divine," which is what the husband did. You have also achieved divinity by acknowledging your mistake and feeling guilty. To post it in the forum where you have highlighted your mistake shows your broad-mindedness.
There is no point in hurting yourself unnecessarily. Much water should have flown under the bridge. We all have learned a lesson from you. Thanks for teaching us a lesson.
Happy Onam (with no regrets) to you and all our fellow brethren across Kerala, wherever they might be.
From India, Madras
Hi Ash,
The experience you had is a paradigm shift. Incidents such as these put you into the right perspective and introspection. Relate with the paradigm shift which Stephen R. Covey had and mentions beautifully in his book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People."
MR
From India, Mumbai
The experience you had is a paradigm shift. Incidents such as these put you into the right perspective and introspection. Relate with the paradigm shift which Stephen R. Covey had and mentions beautifully in his book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People."
MR
From India, Mumbai
Hello Matthew,
Don't feel bad for your behavior towards the husband of the sick patient because it was your love and concern for your parents that led you to ask in a harsh manner. Anyways, learn a lesson from the elderly that humanity is important, regardless of how quickly westernization or globalization is advancing. We are human and should strive to be distinct from other living beings.
Regards,
Sireesha
From India, Hyderabad
Don't feel bad for your behavior towards the husband of the sick patient because it was your love and concern for your parents that led you to ask in a harsh manner. Anyways, learn a lesson from the elderly that humanity is important, regardless of how quickly westernization or globalization is advancing. We are human and should strive to be distinct from other living beings.
Regards,
Sireesha
From India, Hyderabad
Happy Onam, Ash.
Past is experience, present is experiments, future is expectations, so use your experience in experiments to achieve your expectations. In our daily lives, we come across several incidents, but we hardly take the initiative to acknowledge the reason and learn something from it. In the incident, what you did initially would be a general gesture that whoever else would have done. But later, you insisted your mind to think on the other side, and that's really wonderful. Behind every action, there is a reaction. Hats off to you.
From United States, Scottsdale
Past is experience, present is experiments, future is expectations, so use your experience in experiments to achieve your expectations. In our daily lives, we come across several incidents, but we hardly take the initiative to acknowledge the reason and learn something from it. In the incident, what you did initially would be a general gesture that whoever else would have done. But later, you insisted your mind to think on the other side, and that's really wonderful. Behind every action, there is a reaction. Hats off to you.
From United States, Scottsdale
Dear Asha,
A very heart-rending experience! I can realize your feelings at that instance as I was crying while reading it. Even Jitendra's incident was an eye-opener. Many times, we just react (especially in anger) at what we think is obvious. We forget that there could be another side of the story too.
Hats off to you, Asha, for sharing this experience here and making all of us a little wiser and responsible HR professionals!
Nisha Kapoor
From India, Ahmadabad
A very heart-rending experience! I can realize your feelings at that instance as I was crying while reading it. Even Jitendra's incident was an eye-opener. Many times, we just react (especially in anger) at what we think is obvious. We forget that there could be another side of the story too.
Hats off to you, Asha, for sharing this experience here and making all of us a little wiser and responsible HR professionals!
Nisha Kapoor
From India, Ahmadabad
Hi Ash, I would say you have still human inside you that you could feel their pain that is more than anything.
From India, Mumbai
From India, Mumbai
Hi Asha,
That was really a touching story. One must understand that reactiveness is always bad, and if you are in HR, you must not be reactive in nature. Thanks for sharing this incident here.
May God bless you and your family.
Regards,
Manita Chauhan
From India, New Delhi
That was really a touching story. One must understand that reactiveness is always bad, and if you are in HR, you must not be reactive in nature. Thanks for sharing this incident here.
May God bless you and your family.
Regards,
Manita Chauhan
From India, New Delhi
Hi Asha,
A VERY Happy Onam to you and your family. Thanks for the valuable contribution. It is indeed more valuable than any PowerPoints or articles, etc. A true life experience is what the HR community needs.
We, as humans, often forget the impact of anger we direct towards others until it's too late. However, in your case, you have shown great bravery. Repenting and realizing in time, and having the courage to share with all of us, is commendable. Truly, I appreciate your efforts!
God has truly blessed you this Onam.
Regards,
From India, Delhi
A VERY Happy Onam to you and your family. Thanks for the valuable contribution. It is indeed more valuable than any PowerPoints or articles, etc. A true life experience is what the HR community needs.
We, as humans, often forget the impact of anger we direct towards others until it's too late. However, in your case, you have shown great bravery. Repenting and realizing in time, and having the courage to share with all of us, is commendable. Truly, I appreciate your efforts!
God has truly blessed you this Onam.
Regards,
From India, Delhi
Humans are superior to animals. (Don't you know?)
Dear Ash,
Thanks a lot for your sharing. I guess you suffered two pains: your aggressive mood with the couple and that lady's condition. I'm feeling sorrow for that lady. As my family and I have suffered such a situation. My father died of cancer (brain tumor), and his whole left side of the body was paralyzed. :'(
Your sharing will save us from suffering the first pain. At least for me, I'll always remember this incident.
From Pakistan, Lahore
Dear Ash,
Thanks a lot for your sharing. I guess you suffered two pains: your aggressive mood with the couple and that lady's condition. I'm feeling sorrow for that lady. As my family and I have suffered such a situation. My father died of cancer (brain tumor), and his whole left side of the body was paralyzed. :'(
Your sharing will save us from suffering the first pain. At least for me, I'll always remember this incident.
From Pakistan, Lahore
u r rite ash 1 shld not judge ny1 unless n untill u know abt the things tht r happenin around u :(
From India, Mumbai
From India, Mumbai
Hi Asha, Happy Onam!! It is really a courageous act to come out with ones one error. It is really wonderful lesson for us how one should keep calm & composed mind under all circumstances. Gayathri
From India, Madras
From India, Madras
Hi Asha,
Very touching story! I have read the same kind of story in one of the forums. Did this happen to you? We always tend to conclude before knowing all the facts. I guess this was a really good example. Thanks for sharing the story and emotions.
Take care.
From India, Pune
Very touching story! I have read the same kind of story in one of the forums. Did this happen to you? We always tend to conclude before knowing all the facts. I guess this was a really good example. Thanks for sharing the story and emotions.
Take care.
From India, Pune
Hey buddy!
Your story is really very touching, and you are very right that we should first try to find out the reasons before making any perception about the situations and people around us. May God bless the lady and her family! And happy Onam to you too...
From India, Delhi
Your story is really very touching, and you are very right that we should first try to find out the reasons before making any perception about the situations and people around us. May God bless the lady and her family! And happy Onam to you too...
From India, Delhi
Many people are referring as touching story. It should be termed as touching incident. Asha has not putforth a story but an incident.
From India, Lucknow
From India, Lucknow
Dear Ash,
I don't know what's going on. Someone says congrats? Someone says courageous act? Some feel very sympathetic, someone says like you're fighting for your rights?
In my view, it is an incident.
Dear guys, if you have leisure time, please visit Government hospitals. Let's see thousands of stories going like this.
Sorry if my view is wrong.
Boopy
From India, Coimbatore
I don't know what's going on. Someone says congrats? Someone says courageous act? Some feel very sympathetic, someone says like you're fighting for your rights?
In my view, it is an incident.
Dear guys, if you have leisure time, please visit Government hospitals. Let's see thousands of stories going like this.
Sorry if my view is wrong.
Boopy
From India, Coimbatore
Thank you for sharing such a wonderful message with everyone. It's a learning experience for all, especially for those who compare love and affection with something not worthwhile. This teaches us how quickly we can misunderstand a person without knowing the proper reasons. Due to this, many times we can lose precious people, relationships, or other valuable things. Therefore, always try to see things from others' perspectives instead of reacting impulsively.
From India, Vijayawada
From India, Vijayawada
Dear Boopy,
No views are right or wrong. It's in the way we look at the incident. You call this an incident because all you see is the sickness. I call this an experience because I did not see only the sickness, but the husband's love, the calmness within the parents, and the lesson "why not to use words before thinking."
The same goes for other members who felt sad or who even felt that we need to choose words carefully.
From India, Madras
No views are right or wrong. It's in the way we look at the incident. You call this an incident because all you see is the sickness. I call this an experience because I did not see only the sickness, but the husband's love, the calmness within the parents, and the lesson "why not to use words before thinking."
The same goes for other members who felt sad or who even felt that we need to choose words carefully.
From India, Madras
It was really very touching, Asha. I can understand the pain because I have been very, very sick and had such wonderful parents and my fiancée always caring for me at that time. They never remind me of all that they have done for me because that's real love.
From India, Calcutta
From India, Calcutta
Dear Asha
At the outset, I would like to tell you that you are one of the few who have reached the level of realization. This shows, how pure your heart is and how tightly you hold your ‘values’ close to you. I am absolutely moved by your narration. I was really surprised to read Ditti’s comment on why this story should reach this platform. With due respect to Ditti, I would like to say that man is absolutely nothing, if you take away his realization from him. I feel this narration could have been shared at any platform.
I would like to make all my friends realize that we have actually got so much into the nitty-gritty of ‘facts and figures’ that we forget our HEART. According to me, more than comprehension of facts, their realization is important. One might read thousands of pages about sugar, but it requires a person to put one grain of sugar in his mouth to understand what it is. Let our brain not dominate our heart. In fact we will stay happy if it happens otherwise.
Thank you once again Asha for sharing this with all of us and make us understand how important realization, in life is.
Regards,
Arindam
From India, Hubli
At the outset, I would like to tell you that you are one of the few who have reached the level of realization. This shows, how pure your heart is and how tightly you hold your ‘values’ close to you. I am absolutely moved by your narration. I was really surprised to read Ditti’s comment on why this story should reach this platform. With due respect to Ditti, I would like to say that man is absolutely nothing, if you take away his realization from him. I feel this narration could have been shared at any platform.
I would like to make all my friends realize that we have actually got so much into the nitty-gritty of ‘facts and figures’ that we forget our HEART. According to me, more than comprehension of facts, their realization is important. One might read thousands of pages about sugar, but it requires a person to put one grain of sugar in his mouth to understand what it is. Let our brain not dominate our heart. In fact we will stay happy if it happens otherwise.
Thank you once again Asha for sharing this with all of us and make us understand how important realization, in life is.
Regards,
Arindam
From India, Hubli
Hi Ash, the way you have realted this incident with work and yourself is so impressive. Its good to understand our mistakes and appreciate others. Nice posting with a beautiful message.
From India, Gurgaon
From India, Gurgaon
Dear Asha and Jitender,
Your experiences and reflections have really highlighted the importance of not reacting based on first impressions but to think why the situation could be so. Additionally, the need to breathe deeply ten times to give us the time to reflect is emphasized.
Thank you for posting. Have a nice day.
Simhan
From United Kingdom
Your experiences and reflections have really highlighted the importance of not reacting based on first impressions but to think why the situation could be so. Additionally, the need to breathe deeply ten times to give us the time to reflect is emphasized.
Thank you for posting. Have a nice day.
Simhan
From United Kingdom
Hi Asha,
This is definitely a very heartfelt thing. May everybody try to develop a vision as you are trying to spread through this post. This is really a good initiative to at least try to take a step forward in order to bring about a change! Always keep the good spirit up!
From India, New Delhi
This is definitely a very heartfelt thing. May everybody try to develop a vision as you are trying to spread through this post. This is really a good initiative to at least try to take a step forward in order to bring about a change! Always keep the good spirit up!
From India, New Delhi
Dear Asha,
Life is said to be the best teacher ever! The incident that you have expressed will definitely touch every human heart. I feel when you feel sorry, agony, or pain you realize the worth of love, life, and also happiness. When one experiences sorrow, one becomes closer to God, and I feel your realization has definitely made you feel 'God'. God comes in every subtle incident, and I think in this festive season of Onam, God has showered his blessings on you by making you feel more humane. It feels good when you see such a loving husband and caring parents amidst this conditional world.
From India, New Delhi
Life is said to be the best teacher ever! The incident that you have expressed will definitely touch every human heart. I feel when you feel sorry, agony, or pain you realize the worth of love, life, and also happiness. When one experiences sorrow, one becomes closer to God, and I feel your realization has definitely made you feel 'God'. God comes in every subtle incident, and I think in this festive season of Onam, God has showered his blessings on you by making you feel more humane. It feels good when you see such a loving husband and caring parents amidst this conditional world.
From India, New Delhi
Hi Asha It seems a real story, you are a good content writer keep trying it will be beneficited for you. Best wishes with u
From India, Gurgaon
From India, Gurgaon
i hope that now you will not be controlled by your feelings but will control your feelings as in this case the feelings of anger and arrogance.
From India, Belgaum
From India, Belgaum
Hi, Asha!
I am glad you realized your mistake. However, there are people (especially the boss) who feel that it is their birthright to humiliate their subordinates in front of others - just to prove their superiority.
Regards,
Kalyani
From India, Hyderabad
I am glad you realized your mistake. However, there are people (especially the boss) who feel that it is their birthright to humiliate their subordinates in front of others - just to prove their superiority.
Regards,
Kalyani
From India, Hyderabad
Very true, Kalyani. Though I would not say all bosses are like that. Where do such people get the time to meet real people.... all they see and meet is for business & money. And apart from that - it's the bosses' own family who they care the most - they know only the problems associated with their dear and near.... Where will they have time to peek into an ordinary person's life, and WHY is one coming for work.... They might justify this by saying that they offer many things to the temples.... But I realized after this incident, what a better human am I, if I just go and light candles, and put some money in the Church.... and blind to the person who is suffering right in front of me?
From India, Madras
From India, Madras
Dear Ash,
First of all, I would like to wish you a Happy Onam. Secondly, I wanted to mention that even though your story was not directly related to HR, it was truly touching. I respect your emotions, and in my opinion, the key takeaway is the importance of having patience to understand others. This can be challenging but is the right way to approach life. By sharing your story, you have imparted a valuable lesson to those who tend to be short-tempered. I believe this lesson will help them stay calm in difficult situations. Additionally, I must commend your courage in acknowledging your mistake. Many people realize their faults but hesitate to admit them publicly. Overall, it is a commendable initiative.
Best of luck for your future endeavors.
Best Regards,
Vibha
From India, Delhi
First of all, I would like to wish you a Happy Onam. Secondly, I wanted to mention that even though your story was not directly related to HR, it was truly touching. I respect your emotions, and in my opinion, the key takeaway is the importance of having patience to understand others. This can be challenging but is the right way to approach life. By sharing your story, you have imparted a valuable lesson to those who tend to be short-tempered. I believe this lesson will help them stay calm in difficult situations. Additionally, I must commend your courage in acknowledging your mistake. Many people realize their faults but hesitate to admit them publicly. Overall, it is a commendable initiative.
Best of luck for your future endeavors.
Best Regards,
Vibha
From India, Delhi
its great you realizes your fault but as we are human being sometime we make wrong perception’s for certain things which we realise later when the truth came in front of us best regards
From India, Delhi
From India, Delhi
Dear Ash,
Don't feel bad, but what's going on? Why are you posting such sensitive incidents or blogging through such networking sites when you cannot do anything for these people? Do you think your responsibility is over just by narrating this? In fact, we all feel helpless when we cannot contribute towards this. Anyway, you deserve cheers for being who you are.
Regards,
Rekhaba
From India, Aurangabad
Don't feel bad, but what's going on? Why are you posting such sensitive incidents or blogging through such networking sites when you cannot do anything for these people? Do you think your responsibility is over just by narrating this? In fact, we all feel helpless when we cannot contribute towards this. Anyway, you deserve cheers for being who you are.
Regards,
Rekhaba
From India, Aurangabad
Really an heart touching incident Buts good ven we realise our onw mistakes done in arrogance its the best quality to be possessed by every person
From India, Kolhapur
From India, Kolhapur
Dear Ms. Ash Matthews,
Greetings,
Congratulations for wording the incident so beautifully. Your story reminds me of a very similar incident that happened with me.
I was returning to Baroda from Bangalore with my wife. My tickets were booked well in advance, and seat numbers were also confirmed, so I had no problem getting on the train. When I reached my berth, I found an old man sitting in my window seat. His wife was also with him. I informed both of them about my ownership of those seats and requested them to shift aside. Neither of them uttered a word or showed any expression.
Angrily, I said to my wife, "Look, Manju, what a Dadagiri?" On hearing this, the old man's wife started weeping and told us with a choked throat, "Sir, this man is totally paralyzed, deaf, and dumb too. We are moving from place to place for his treatment, but nothing has helped him so far." My wife and I were shocked. The couple was traveling to Baroda only, and they belonged to Baroda.
"We see things as we are but never see things as they are." - T D Joshi, Freelance Faculty
From India, Vadodara
Greetings,
Congratulations for wording the incident so beautifully. Your story reminds me of a very similar incident that happened with me.
I was returning to Baroda from Bangalore with my wife. My tickets were booked well in advance, and seat numbers were also confirmed, so I had no problem getting on the train. When I reached my berth, I found an old man sitting in my window seat. His wife was also with him. I informed both of them about my ownership of those seats and requested them to shift aside. Neither of them uttered a word or showed any expression.
Angrily, I said to my wife, "Look, Manju, what a Dadagiri?" On hearing this, the old man's wife started weeping and told us with a choked throat, "Sir, this man is totally paralyzed, deaf, and dumb too. We are moving from place to place for his treatment, but nothing has helped him so far." My wife and I were shocked. The couple was traveling to Baroda only, and they belonged to Baroda.
"We see things as we are but never see things as they are." - T D Joshi, Freelance Faculty
From India, Vadodara
hi ash I just went through this and very much happy that u have the heart and courage to accept as ur mistake u are really a very very good human being
From India, Mumbai
From India, Mumbai
Hi Asha,
It is a very beautiful experience that helps us understand more about our lives, which we do not normally know. There are a lot of things in our lives that we need to know. By sharing your experience, we all gain valuable knowledge essential for our lives.
Thank you for sharing, and I wish you a happy Onam.
From India, Bangalore
It is a very beautiful experience that helps us understand more about our lives, which we do not normally know. There are a lot of things in our lives that we need to know. By sharing your experience, we all gain valuable knowledge essential for our lives.
Thank you for sharing, and I wish you a happy Onam.
From India, Bangalore
Dear Asha Mathew,
Wishing you a "Happy Onam". May this festival bring you all the wealth and prosperity. Please don't worry; these things will happen unknowingly in our day-to-day walk of life. The only thing we need to do is to tender our sincere apology immediately if possible in such incidents to clear our hearts.
Good day! Manju
Wishing you a "Happy Onam". May this festival bring you all the wealth and prosperity. Please don't worry; these things will happen unknowingly in our day-to-day walk of life. The only thing we need to do is to tender our sincere apology immediately if possible in such incidents to clear our hearts.
Good day! Manju
Hi Ash,
Very thoughtful message. I used to hear a repeated phrase in my office about putting oneself in the customer's shoes. It's a fairly nice statement. Similarly, humanity is believed to involve understanding the feelings of others and acting accordingly. This is where your individuality truly shines.
Great!
Also, Happy Onam to you and everyone.
Take care.
Regards,
Thiru R
From India, Raipur
Very thoughtful message. I used to hear a repeated phrase in my office about putting oneself in the customer's shoes. It's a fairly nice statement. Similarly, humanity is believed to involve understanding the feelings of others and acting accordingly. This is where your individuality truly shines.
Great!
Also, Happy Onam to you and everyone.
Take care.
Regards,
Thiru R
From India, Raipur
hi, i also felt like crying on reading this.. tht lady is very lucky to hav such a loving husband...i also understood how we shud behave before others.. thanks for the post
From India, Tirunelveli
From India, Tirunelveli
Dear Asha Mathew,
HAPPY ONAM!
In my 30 years of life outside Kerala, I must have traveled almost 30 times, and the agony endured during train travel is very severe. The incident on the train was truly touching. Sudden anger can make us blind at times and compel us to behave unbecomingly with others. However, realization is powerful, and thus, you are indeed great.
Please read Stephen Covey's book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People."
Regards,
Dr. K. K. Anirudhan
Human Resource Specialist
Email: kkanirudhan@gmail.com
From India, Kochi
HAPPY ONAM!
In my 30 years of life outside Kerala, I must have traveled almost 30 times, and the agony endured during train travel is very severe. The incident on the train was truly touching. Sudden anger can make us blind at times and compel us to behave unbecomingly with others. However, realization is powerful, and thus, you are indeed great.
Please read Stephen Covey's book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People."
Regards,
Dr. K. K. Anirudhan
Human Resource Specialist
Email: kkanirudhan@gmail.com
From India, Kochi
Dear Friends,
I am hearing this story for the second time in just one month's time. I had attended a CEO's training programme at an Institute in Lucknow from 3rd to 7th August 2009. On 6th August 2009, during the 3:30 p.m. to 5 p.m. session, one of the faculty members (who claimed to be a Counsellor and OB specialist) handled that session and narrated the very same story with slightly different characters. Our batch consisted of 24 Officers, with 6 from Tamil Nadu, 8 from Punjab, 1 from Bihar, and the rest from West Bengal. Out of the six, one is from Coimbatore. If anyone wants to check the genuineness, I can provide the names and addresses of all other participants.
Thanks for the second version of the story.
From India, Madras
I am hearing this story for the second time in just one month's time. I had attended a CEO's training programme at an Institute in Lucknow from 3rd to 7th August 2009. On 6th August 2009, during the 3:30 p.m. to 5 p.m. session, one of the faculty members (who claimed to be a Counsellor and OB specialist) handled that session and narrated the very same story with slightly different characters. Our batch consisted of 24 Officers, with 6 from Tamil Nadu, 8 from Punjab, 1 from Bihar, and the rest from West Bengal. Out of the six, one is from Coimbatore. If anyone wants to check the genuineness, I can provide the names and addresses of all other participants.
Thanks for the second version of the story.
From India, Madras
Hi Asha,
It is really touching! But what you did is within ordinary human nature. Had you been a god, you would not have acted that way. It reminds me of a similar incident related in the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Dr. Stephen Covey.
Regards,
Ganessen
It is really touching! But what you did is within ordinary human nature. Had you been a god, you would not have acted that way. It reminds me of a similar incident related in the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Dr. Stephen Covey.
Regards,
Ganessen
Dear Ash Mathew,
Hello Members, I had to recently travel to my native for my cousin's wedding. Being the festive season in Kerala, the travel crowd is very huge during this time. People from all corners of the country travel to this paradise for the Onam Season. We returned on Sunday and had to rush to the railway station as we were already late. It was just my dad, mom, and myself returning from my native. We managed to get tickets for the morning reservation, and when the train arrived...
Dad and I were holding the luggage and searching for space. It was crowded, and we kept walking from one compartment to the other in search of a place. Finally, we came to a compartment and saw a lady neatly lying down with her hands and legs stretched out, sleeping. Her husband was sitting next to her, and there was little space to his left. When he saw us coming, he occupied that place by keeping his bag. I was so angry at this act and asked him to move a bit so that my mom or dad could sit. I could not bear to see my mom and dad standing for a long time. He argued with me, stating that he had reserved the entire seat for himself and did not want to wake his wife up. I got even angrier and asked him, "Nothing will hurt you if you give some space for my mother to sit!" in a very angry tone. I asked my mom to sit there for a while until I searched for another place. Meanwhile, Dad adjusted to stand near another seat, and I was worried to see them both struggling. One elderly person near this couple's place got up and offered his seat to me. I felt bad and told him I could stand, but he moved a bit in the front and gave me a little place to sit. He said, "Daughter, don't hurt your feet. Moreover, people walking to and fro may have intentions to simply disturb you. Please sit." He and his wife offered me a little place. I was moved. I was still angry with the couple...
After a while, when the couple moved out, the old parents also got off the train, and I learned that the lady had recently undergone brain tumor surgery, and her whole left side of the body was paralyzed. Her husband did not want to keep telling every single person that his wife was sick, as she cried each time anyone looked at her with sympathy. The old parents who gave me space to sit were none other than this lady's parents. I had tears running out of my eyes. After all, I could have kept quiet by not hurting them or staring hard at them. If I had been calm, I would have observed things around and noticed a wheelchair folded next to the seat. Sometimes in life, we misunderstand people because they are silent about their pain. They don't tell us, so it leads people to take them for granted, like how I did. At work too, if someone is upset, silent, or behaves differently, let's wait to find the real reason before we shout at them or make them feel more miserable. I felt ashamed the whole journey, thinking about "What would life be if you cannot feel the other side of your body... and what a loving husband. He did not want anyone to know that his wife was sick, so protective, so loving. And the aged parents... how loving they were to someone who got angry at their sick daughter?" I felt like I received a slap on my face by their act of love and kindness, and I felt that no materialistic gift can compromise the love of that husband for his wife. And the best part was... she was asleep, not knowing how much her husband cares for her. Dear all, This Onam is different for me. Happy Onam to you all and wish you a prosperous year ahead!
Dear Asha Mathew,
My name is Radhakrishnan Pillai from Pune. I am visiting this site for the first time, and your story is the first article I have read. The story is inspiring with a strong message to understand other human beings.
Realization is the road to social well-being. It is worth appreciating and admirable that you have the will to express your realization of the mistake, ill-concept, or rudeness. We learn from mistakes. We all commit mistakes, knowingly or unknowingly. But reformation is possible only through the realization of the mistakes. It is not only that the doer reforms but also for many others to follow.
We find silent sufferers in all spheres of life, be it in a family, in an office, in an organization, institution, etc. Such people are the oceans of emotions. They have tremendous mental strength and can be the torchbearers for positive reformations at the individual and institutional level.
Your story is inspiring. God bless you.
RADHAKRISHNAN PILLAI, PUNE
From India, Thana
Hello Members, I had to recently travel to my native for my cousin's wedding. Being the festive season in Kerala, the travel crowd is very huge during this time. People from all corners of the country travel to this paradise for the Onam Season. We returned on Sunday and had to rush to the railway station as we were already late. It was just my dad, mom, and myself returning from my native. We managed to get tickets for the morning reservation, and when the train arrived...
Dad and I were holding the luggage and searching for space. It was crowded, and we kept walking from one compartment to the other in search of a place. Finally, we came to a compartment and saw a lady neatly lying down with her hands and legs stretched out, sleeping. Her husband was sitting next to her, and there was little space to his left. When he saw us coming, he occupied that place by keeping his bag. I was so angry at this act and asked him to move a bit so that my mom or dad could sit. I could not bear to see my mom and dad standing for a long time. He argued with me, stating that he had reserved the entire seat for himself and did not want to wake his wife up. I got even angrier and asked him, "Nothing will hurt you if you give some space for my mother to sit!" in a very angry tone. I asked my mom to sit there for a while until I searched for another place. Meanwhile, Dad adjusted to stand near another seat, and I was worried to see them both struggling. One elderly person near this couple's place got up and offered his seat to me. I felt bad and told him I could stand, but he moved a bit in the front and gave me a little place to sit. He said, "Daughter, don't hurt your feet. Moreover, people walking to and fro may have intentions to simply disturb you. Please sit." He and his wife offered me a little place. I was moved. I was still angry with the couple...
After a while, when the couple moved out, the old parents also got off the train, and I learned that the lady had recently undergone brain tumor surgery, and her whole left side of the body was paralyzed. Her husband did not want to keep telling every single person that his wife was sick, as she cried each time anyone looked at her with sympathy. The old parents who gave me space to sit were none other than this lady's parents. I had tears running out of my eyes. After all, I could have kept quiet by not hurting them or staring hard at them. If I had been calm, I would have observed things around and noticed a wheelchair folded next to the seat. Sometimes in life, we misunderstand people because they are silent about their pain. They don't tell us, so it leads people to take them for granted, like how I did. At work too, if someone is upset, silent, or behaves differently, let's wait to find the real reason before we shout at them or make them feel more miserable. I felt ashamed the whole journey, thinking about "What would life be if you cannot feel the other side of your body... and what a loving husband. He did not want anyone to know that his wife was sick, so protective, so loving. And the aged parents... how loving they were to someone who got angry at their sick daughter?" I felt like I received a slap on my face by their act of love and kindness, and I felt that no materialistic gift can compromise the love of that husband for his wife. And the best part was... she was asleep, not knowing how much her husband cares for her. Dear all, This Onam is different for me. Happy Onam to you all and wish you a prosperous year ahead!
Dear Asha Mathew,
My name is Radhakrishnan Pillai from Pune. I am visiting this site for the first time, and your story is the first article I have read. The story is inspiring with a strong message to understand other human beings.
Realization is the road to social well-being. It is worth appreciating and admirable that you have the will to express your realization of the mistake, ill-concept, or rudeness. We learn from mistakes. We all commit mistakes, knowingly or unknowingly. But reformation is possible only through the realization of the mistakes. It is not only that the doer reforms but also for many others to follow.
We find silent sufferers in all spheres of life, be it in a family, in an office, in an organization, institution, etc. Such people are the oceans of emotions. They have tremendous mental strength and can be the torchbearers for positive reformations at the individual and institutional level.
Your story is inspiring. God bless you.
RADHAKRISHNAN PILLAI, PUNE
From India, Thana
Dear Asha,
Nothing to feel bad about. It is not your fault. As a traveling public, your words were right. You spoke in anger because your aged parents were struggling without a seat to share. Many unknown faces in the multitudes teach us a lesson and make us realize the mistakes we have made. It could be a roadside beggar, a rag picker, a walking blind man, a rope-dancing child, a limping dog, a special child, or anyone you pass by daily.
Just reflect on that message in your HR training schedule in an apt way. It's a tribute to them.
Regards, Chandru
From India, Madras
Nothing to feel bad about. It is not your fault. As a traveling public, your words were right. You spoke in anger because your aged parents were struggling without a seat to share. Many unknown faces in the multitudes teach us a lesson and make us realize the mistakes we have made. It could be a roadside beggar, a rag picker, a walking blind man, a rope-dancing child, a limping dog, a special child, or anyone you pass by daily.
Just reflect on that message in your HR training schedule in an apt way. It's a tribute to them.
Regards, Chandru
From India, Madras
One should think 100 times before reacting is the lesson we can pick up from this incident.
From India, Bangalore
From India, Bangalore
Dear Asha,
I can understand your pain when you realized what had happened; I am the same way too. Here in Mauritius, I had the same experience. There is one thing I know, I try not to make the same innocent mistakes again, so I guess God blesses me all the time. Thanks for sharing, and it is part of HR.
From Mauritius, Port Louis
I can understand your pain when you realized what had happened; I am the same way too. Here in Mauritius, I had the same experience. There is one thing I know, I try not to make the same innocent mistakes again, so I guess God blesses me all the time. Thanks for sharing, and it is part of HR.
From Mauritius, Port Louis
Hi Asha,
Happy Onam! I learned a lesson. I am very short-tempered, but in the future, I will really think of your experience before I could lose my temper. I will try to control my temper because unknowingly I might hurt someone. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Regards,
Anitha
From India, Bangalore
Happy Onam! I learned a lesson. I am very short-tempered, but in the future, I will really think of your experience before I could lose my temper. I will try to control my temper because unknowingly I might hurt someone. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Regards,
Anitha
From India, Bangalore
hi mathew....thanks a lot for sharing such an incident coz today i have learnt something from it. And i am sure our other HR friends also. thanks a lot. rajeev.
From India, Hyderabad
From India, Hyderabad
I salute you, Ms. Asha Mathew, for your confession and empathy that you felt from this life's precious lesson. Like many wise individuals, many are silently suffering with their severe pain, but no one is listening to them. We must have a sense of sensibility other than our professional instincts.
Regards,
From Oman, Sohar
Regards,
From Oman, Sohar
That was gr8 touching story which happened in ur life...no probs in that case u had good experience and learning for urself towards the life and people. be in touch...keep posting
From India, Mumbai
From India, Mumbai
I really appreciate your honesty. You really need a big heart to say this. So next time you find someone around, try to listen to what they don't speak. If someone says something, don't try to listen to their words; instead, listen to what they mean.
From India, Bangalore
From India, Bangalore
Truly, an incident that must have affected you. But even more so is your heart to make everyone feel the same. For having shared this experience, I am sure it is going to be a prevention better than cure for many who read it. Who knows, perhaps you must have gone through this ordeal to tell all those who read it, and it may save someone on a later date from an even worse situation.
From India, Thiruvananthapuram
From India, Thiruvananthapuram
Hello, Asha Mathew,
Your message touched so many facets of life. Most of all, one learns the need to be sensitive and not to be too quick to judge people's motives. One cannot totally blame you for taking offense since the couple had two full chairs to themselves, and you must have been tired from roaming the train, being eager to get a seat for your elderly parents. Don't hit yourself on the head too much on this.
On the HR front, one learns to be attentive to subtle details and be able to read between the lines, especially when a staff member is defensive about a matter. Since employees come from different walks of life and different backgrounds, the essence is for the HR executive to be mature and have an open mind in dealing with issues and not face situations with preconceived notions.
I won't bore you with more details, but I appreciate your upfront sharing of your experience.
Thanks
From Nigeria
Your message touched so many facets of life. Most of all, one learns the need to be sensitive and not to be too quick to judge people's motives. One cannot totally blame you for taking offense since the couple had two full chairs to themselves, and you must have been tired from roaming the train, being eager to get a seat for your elderly parents. Don't hit yourself on the head too much on this.
On the HR front, one learns to be attentive to subtle details and be able to read between the lines, especially when a staff member is defensive about a matter. Since employees come from different walks of life and different backgrounds, the essence is for the HR executive to be mature and have an open mind in dealing with issues and not face situations with preconceived notions.
I won't bore you with more details, but I appreciate your upfront sharing of your experience.
Thanks
From Nigeria
Hi Asha, Very good learning and I really appreciate your efforts in typing everything/sharing the same. . . . . .
From India, Tiruppur
From India, Tiruppur
Dear Asha,
I read this today only. It's more appreciable on your part to express your feelings after knowing the reality, not justifying yourself. That shows you have a good heart and thinking. Your experience shows all of us how we should be patient with our surroundings.
But you have done this for your elderly parents. More importantly, take this out from your mind and relax.
Regards,
Shyam Kumar
Trainer
Cochin
Mob: 9995031775
From India, Ernakulam
I read this today only. It's more appreciable on your part to express your feelings after knowing the reality, not justifying yourself. That shows you have a good heart and thinking. Your experience shows all of us how we should be patient with our surroundings.
But you have done this for your elderly parents. More importantly, take this out from your mind and relax.
Regards,
Shyam Kumar
Trainer
Cochin
Mob: 9995031775
From India, Ernakulam
Dear Asha Mathew,
I understand you have a combination of big brains and a huge heart to share what you went through during your return from Kerala. Values and virtues are not hereditary; rather, they are learned by example.
Thank you.
[Your Name]
From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
I understand you have a combination of big brains and a huge heart to share what you went through during your return from Kerala. Values and virtues are not hereditary; rather, they are learned by example.
Thank you.
[Your Name]
From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
Dear Raj Kumar and others,
Please comment on what we can learn from the incident rather than question the veracity. For your information, there will be many strange coincidences in life. I have mentioned this to KCS Kutty in private. If anyone requires further information, please send me a private message.
Have a nice day.
Simhan
From United Kingdom
Please comment on what we can learn from the incident rather than question the veracity. For your information, there will be many strange coincidences in life. I have mentioned this to KCS Kutty in private. If anyone requires further information, please send me a private message.
Have a nice day.
Simhan
From United Kingdom
If only you had carefully read the narration and absorbed the message that, "Had I been calm... I would have observed things around and noticed a wheelchair folded next to the seat," you would have refrained from commenting so carelessly and rudely. This is a touching, brilliant, and genuine first-hand write-up by an amateur and not one done by a professional story writer. There are so many telltale signs in the narration that indicate a genuine original effort; the only thing one needs is the ability to observe.
From India, Pune
From India, Pune
My dear JayantG;
What makes you say:
"you would have refrained from commenting so carelessly and rudely."
I had written just two sentences:
"Straight out of the Chicken Soup series!!!!
I too have read a few such stories earlier."
What made you conclude that I am CARELESS and RUDE????
Dear JayantG, That simply means you have NOT learned anything from this story!!
You have made the same error - Fundamental Attribution Error
Why did it never occur to you that when I am saying "Straight out of the Chicken Soup series!!!!", I am COMPLIMENTING the story and the story writer's skill, that it is in the same league as the famous inspirational series of stories that go by the name of "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series by Jack Canfield.
Here, please read what it means:
"A Chicken Soup for the Soul story is an inspirational, true story about ordinary people doing extraordinary things. It is a story that opens the heart and rekindles the spirit. It is a simple, interdenominational, living art piece that touches the soul of the readers and helps them discover basic principles they can use in their own lives. They are personal and often filled with emotion and drama. They are filled with vivid images created by using the five senses. In some stories, the readers feel that they are actually in the scene with the people." (quoted from its website)
Don't you think this story fits the bill (as given above) PERFECTLY???!!!!
Did you not say the same thing - "This is a touching, brilliant, and genuine firsthand write-up by an amateur and not one that is done by a professional story writer." I meant the same thing, or perhaps better - a story as good as Chicken Soup for the Soul stories!!!
Secondly:
When I say "I too have read a few such stories earlier." while responding to the member's post who is a professional Trainer; I am stating the truth.
I have indeed read such stories.
In fact, I tell such stories when I conduct training programs and encourage others to tell. A typical overnight assignment may contain such questions as:
Once we are aware of our perceptual errors, we realize the prevalence of Fundamental Attribution Errors in our daily life. To encourage participants to be able to identify familiarize themselves with such perceptual errors, your assignment is to write about two instances of FAE that you have come across recently. It can be from your experience, experiences of others - colleagues, friends, relatives; or from a tertiary source like news articles, cinema, or TV shows.
Would be obliged, if you could kindly explain, where is the "carelessness" and "rudeness" in these two sentences??
But, thanks anyway; you have given me a good takeaway. I can quote this story in the future.
Regards.
From India, Delhi
Classic example of political doublespeak! One day they call people cattle, and the next day say, "I didn't mean it, my words were quoted out of context, blah, blah, blah..." They say it in approximately 485 words when only three words, "I liked it," could have done the job admirably.
From India, Pune
From India, Pune
why to argue? Arguements never see the logic end. Let us understand the substance of the so-called true incident or concocted, whatsoever.
From India, Lucknow
From India, Lucknow
Thanx for sharing such a precious sharing with with us , the incident took place really teaches us to know more about enter in other shoes theory, moreover i am being thankful to you.
From India
From India
Hi Asha,
Thanks for sharing this experience. I suggest you read Stephen Covey's book "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". There is an example of a similar incident: a man sitting in a train silently and lost in deep thoughts while his children were misbehaving. All others around could not understand how he could tolerate it. They were very angry. The hard fact is that the man lost his wife only days before. What was anger turned into compassion!
We never stop learning. Every day we learn irrespective of our age. Learning is a continuous process. Had this man told you his wife is sick, you would surely have reacted differently instead of being angry. You are not at fault at all. You have reacted as any normal person would have done. You must not feel guilty or ashamed. One more thing I suggest you read is "IF" by Rudyard Kipling.
What is Onam?
Ganessen.
Thanks for sharing this experience. I suggest you read Stephen Covey's book "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". There is an example of a similar incident: a man sitting in a train silently and lost in deep thoughts while his children were misbehaving. All others around could not understand how he could tolerate it. They were very angry. The hard fact is that the man lost his wife only days before. What was anger turned into compassion!
We never stop learning. Every day we learn irrespective of our age. Learning is a continuous process. Had this man told you his wife is sick, you would surely have reacted differently instead of being angry. You are not at fault at all. You have reacted as any normal person would have done. You must not feel guilty or ashamed. One more thing I suggest you read is "IF" by Rudyard Kipling.
What is Onam?
Ganessen.
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