I have an important and an interesting case to discuss and ask for comments on:
In my office I have a person, who is a senior, but is spending most of his time flirting with one of the secretaries in the office. Every hour you can notice them having coffees and chit-chatting. Actual work meetings are additional.
They both have smart answers to justify their perpetual togetherness, like, work, common Big Boss, guidance from senior, old pals, good understanding and what not.
People, both juniors and seniors, have been watching this since many months, but cannot open their mouth, as it will be of no use, the Big Boss will not believe, it will be considered as negative talk & cribbing, etc.
It is now becoming irritating and embarrassing, the senior is ignoring his department and work, every now and then he is rushing to the floor above where the secretary sits, yet justifying “no work” by putting it on incapable people around, and politics of the organization…., which is not completely true.
Suggest how to handle such a situation, and what action can we take to correct the office environment.
From India, Delhi
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In my office I have a person, who is a senior, but is spending most of his time flirting with one of the secretaries in the office. Every hour you can notice them having coffees and chit-chatting. Actual work meetings are additional.
They both have smart answers to justify their perpetual togetherness, like, work, common Big Boss, guidance from senior, old pals, good understanding and what not.
People, both juniors and seniors, have been watching this since many months, but cannot open their mouth, as it will be of no use, the Big Boss will not believe, it will be considered as negative talk & cribbing, etc.
It is now becoming irritating and embarrassing, the senior is ignoring his department and work, every now and then he is rushing to the floor above where the secretary sits, yet justifying “no work” by putting it on incapable people around, and politics of the organization…., which is not completely true.
Suggest how to handle such a situation, and what action can we take to correct the office environment.
From India, Delhi
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try to talk to him and explain them the facts, y we r here in office. If he is good he will accept ur words r leave that guy and think as if he is a watchman for ur company.
From India, Madras
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From India, Madras
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In addition, Sekaran, try to get one of them transferred to another place. It will make them spare more time for work.
Also, assign them additional work. This way, they will not find time to flirt in the office.
Nitu
From India, Vadodara
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5Also, assign them additional work. This way, they will not find time to flirt in the office.
Nitu
From India, Vadodara
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Tell me what to do if I am one of those who can’t open their mouth and is reporting to the senior, who is being flirting....
From India, Delhi
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From India, Delhi
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Dear Shashank,
Subtly, you can introduce a draft of the "Policy on Workplace Romance." Get it approved by your big boss. Tell him that this is for future use and to avoid any problems. You can find articles on workplace romance on Google for reference. You can also take help from these articles.
Ok...
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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Subtly, you can introduce a draft of the "Policy on Workplace Romance." Get it approved by your big boss. Tell him that this is for future use and to avoid any problems. You can find articles on workplace romance on Google for reference. You can also take help from these articles.
Ok...
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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I completely agree with Dinesh V Divekar,
I have come across similar situation twice.
Sr. Manager was always seen flirting with a woman, everyone noticed and was quite. As Mr. Divekar rightly mentioned, the work place ethics and policies were rolled out across the company. We also had a session on Sexual harassment at work place highlighting on the obscene instances that could embarrass other people at work and what effects it can have when people feel uncomfortable and complaint. The highlights also gave insight on the probable actions resulting in....
Another situation was in my team, two of my team members were always seen together, until it became obvious I decided to speak to them personally and subtly told them that I have noticed and heard people talk abt them. As they are always seen together, it allows people to gossip, spread rumors and cook up stories. This could affect their professional and personal Image. And there will be lot of negativity spread abt them which would apparently effect their growth and performance in the company.
Also told them …even if they have any relation, what so ever could be personal and not showcase or be a topic at work place that will ruin the work place environment.
They apologized and ever since they were watchful and cautious abt their behaviors.
Another option : I suggest you to speak to them and subtly tell them as a friend you are just keeping them informed abt what people are thinking about their togetherness. Tell them to watch out as people are noticing them at work. You felt like telling them as it is becoming very obvious.
Cheers,
Gayathri
From India, Bangalore
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I have come across similar situation twice.
Sr. Manager was always seen flirting with a woman, everyone noticed and was quite. As Mr. Divekar rightly mentioned, the work place ethics and policies were rolled out across the company. We also had a session on Sexual harassment at work place highlighting on the obscene instances that could embarrass other people at work and what effects it can have when people feel uncomfortable and complaint. The highlights also gave insight on the probable actions resulting in....
Another situation was in my team, two of my team members were always seen together, until it became obvious I decided to speak to them personally and subtly told them that I have noticed and heard people talk abt them. As they are always seen together, it allows people to gossip, spread rumors and cook up stories. This could affect their professional and personal Image. And there will be lot of negativity spread abt them which would apparently effect their growth and performance in the company.
Also told them …even if they have any relation, what so ever could be personal and not showcase or be a topic at work place that will ruin the work place environment.
They apologized and ever since they were watchful and cautious abt their behaviors.
Another option : I suggest you to speak to them and subtly tell them as a friend you are just keeping them informed abt what people are thinking about their togetherness. Tell them to watch out as people are noticing them at work. You felt like telling them as it is becoming very obvious.
Cheers,
Gayathri
From India, Bangalore
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As you don't have the power to do anything officially, I think the best thing is that you should focus on your own work rather than wasting your time watching others. This is their personal matter, and it happens everywhere. If you take any action, it can affect your future.
From Pakistan, Karachi
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From Pakistan, Karachi
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Is this not an HR matter? HR is responsible for maintaining all employee relationship matters. You can send an anonymous letter to HR and see if they sort it out.
Alternatively, in my workplace, we gather everyone together in the kitchen every quarter and have our Executive Head brief everyone on key policies such as health and safety, work relationships, and other important topics. This way, there is no excuse for anyone. Following the briefing, individuals can either raise their questions publicly or submit them in a suggestion box, which are promptly addressed.
Just out of curiosity, is their relationship actually a distraction for everyone, or is it a matter of jealousy - nonetheless inappropriate professionally.
From Australia, Adelaide
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Alternatively, in my workplace, we gather everyone together in the kitchen every quarter and have our Executive Head brief everyone on key policies such as health and safety, work relationships, and other important topics. This way, there is no excuse for anyone. Following the briefing, individuals can either raise their questions publicly or submit them in a suggestion box, which are promptly addressed.
Just out of curiosity, is their relationship actually a distraction for everyone, or is it a matter of jealousy - nonetheless inappropriate professionally.
From Australia, Adelaide
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Hey man,
Let it go. Jab boss or secretary razi to kya karega HR. What max. we can do, suggest them. Get one thing clear we can't change a person. There are chances that you are considering a friendly relationship as something else. Trust me, if you object, your world will be just upside down.
Please observe and indicate your findings to your superior.
From India, Gurgaon
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Let it go. Jab boss or secretary razi to kya karega HR. What max. we can do, suggest them. Get one thing clear we can't change a person. There are chances that you are considering a friendly relationship as something else. Trust me, if you object, your world will be just upside down.
Please observe and indicate your findings to your superior.
From India, Gurgaon
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Chill out, man. On this matter, the moment as an HR professional, you become direct with anyone, he or she might feel offended. Therefore, politely discuss with his supervisor (could be the Managing Director himself in case he is very senior) and take his feedback regarding his performance and this issue in a casual tone but be firm. Maybe seniors or supervisors have no issues at all (depends on the organizational culture). These days, some companies provide open space to employees until they are productive, but as we have seen and grown up in an environment where such things have always been frowned upon.
So my suggestion is to discover your organizational culture, understand what your seniors want to promote, and act accordingly rather than pushing yourself into a corner without any valid reasons.
On a lighter note: After all, romance is in the air. 🙂
From India, Delhi
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So my suggestion is to discover your organizational culture, understand what your seniors want to promote, and act accordingly rather than pushing yourself into a corner without any valid reasons.
On a lighter note: After all, romance is in the air. 🙂
From India, Delhi
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Hello,
One thing you can do is start a Suggestion Scheme in your organization. This initiative will be directly overseen by the top management, and everyone can contribute to helping your boss through this scheme by providing suggestions on various matters. I hope this approach works well for all.
Regards,
Maulik
From India, Mumbai
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One thing you can do is start a Suggestion Scheme in your organization. This initiative will be directly overseen by the top management, and everyone can contribute to helping your boss through this scheme by providing suggestions on various matters. I hope this approach works well for all.
Regards,
Maulik
From India, Mumbai
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Each and every individual has his or her freedom and independence to act as per their discretion. If they enjoy each other's company and are not worried about work, let the results speak for themselves during the yearly review/evaluation when their respective bosses will see everything in black and white. People who have been observing them for a long time and are getting irritated are actually wasting their own time. These are very normal things in the workplace.
From India, Bangalore
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From India, Bangalore
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Chilling in the office makes your productivity better. You can't report anyone until they get physical in the office premises. And you must have some firm proof; if you don't, then you are busted for pointing out a clean and honest relationship. So be careful; your productivity is more important for your career. These petty issues can ruin everything.
Peace
From Pakistan
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Peace
From Pakistan
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hai shashanknaras, In my opinion you people can post a secret letter to the head office against these people and can also depict the graph of day by day increasing ignorance towards therir work.
From India, Delhi
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From India, Delhi
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Please evaluate their relationship before coming to a conclusion (i.e., are they really flirting?). If you and the majority of other employees provide similar feedback, try first to communicate your perception to them through their close friends in a very informal way. If there is no change even after that, as an HR person, speak to them directly and help them understand the consequences that may affect their reputations in a professional manner (be more formal this time). If there are still no changes, communicate the same to their respective families through known sources. Things should work out here.
If the situation continues, as a last step, take action officially (if you have a code of conduct in place). Remember, there are no senior or junior levels in disciplinary procedures.
Regards,
David
From India, Kochi
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If the situation continues, as a last step, take action officially (if you have a code of conduct in place). Remember, there are no senior or junior levels in disciplinary procedures.
Regards,
David
From India, Kochi
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It should worry anybody if work is affected. You never know they may be a good team themselves and producing exceptional results. At the end the factors that motivate matters the most.
From India
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From India
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Ignore and concentrate on your work. Tell me, are you getting jealous or are you concerned? If you are concerned, then ignore them and do your work. You will find such kind of people in every organization. Keep the focus on your goal. All the best.
From India
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From India
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You know, friends, the problem is with us. We always expect others to change. Why are people so interested in their flirting? Concentrate on your own work and performance. These things will evaluate their performance, not yours. And the most important thing, we do not want to be complainers. Add the names of all staff members in an email and forward it to your senior with the reason for the complaint mentioned, "that our staff doesn't want such unethical things in the workplace." Action taken by a group always results in a result.
From India, Ghaziabad
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From India, Ghaziabad
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Hi,
I have seen this happening in my office also, and the best part about it was that both individuals were from HR. The moment you get involved, your life will become difficult, especially considering that he is a senior guy. It's best to leave them to it and focus on your own work. Such occurrences are common these days. If you try to talk to either one of them, you might become a target for your senior.
All the best!
Anju
From India, Mumbai
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I have seen this happening in my office also, and the best part about it was that both individuals were from HR. The moment you get involved, your life will become difficult, especially considering that he is a senior guy. It's best to leave them to it and focus on your own work. Such occurrences are common these days. If you try to talk to either one of them, you might become a target for your senior.
All the best!
Anju
From India, Mumbai
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If the so-called Secretary... If you have access to her CV, find out if she is married. Also, find out her residential address and telephone number of her husband/father/mother and inform him/her (through somebody else) about the things happening in the office during official times, as the office atmosphere is becoming very hot and disturbing. Then, watch and see... You can do only this much. Nowadays, certain females opt for this kind of easy and economical marriages... :)
From India, Bangalore
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From India, Bangalore
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Dear,
I would like to share a story in short. There was a king and his senapati. King's daughter and Senapati's son were in love. They were so in love that they were ready to die for each other. King and Senapati were totally against.
Senapati had a thought of killing them both.
The king was wise. He played different trick. He tied both of them naked and kept in a closed dark room. Both of them were happy as they were able to do whatever they wanted without any obstruction.
Hours passed. Then they started sweating. The tied condition and the rope was not allowing them to relax even.
After 2 days both of them became each other’s enemies and decided not to see each other’s faces in the life.
That’s how it works.
There is No policy which can stop such incidences. Celebrate lover’s day, flirting day etc. use fish ponds or our old collage games to bring such affairs into light with a lighter mood. Every person likes to have extra marital affair but in secrecy. Break this secrecy and let them realize everyone is watching them as now it is not secret.
Self realization is the best answer in all such problems.
Regards,
Mandar
From India, Mumbai
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I would like to share a story in short. There was a king and his senapati. King's daughter and Senapati's son were in love. They were so in love that they were ready to die for each other. King and Senapati were totally against.
Senapati had a thought of killing them both.
The king was wise. He played different trick. He tied both of them naked and kept in a closed dark room. Both of them were happy as they were able to do whatever they wanted without any obstruction.
Hours passed. Then they started sweating. The tied condition and the rope was not allowing them to relax even.
After 2 days both of them became each other’s enemies and decided not to see each other’s faces in the life.
That’s how it works.
There is No policy which can stop such incidences. Celebrate lover’s day, flirting day etc. use fish ponds or our old collage games to bring such affairs into light with a lighter mood. Every person likes to have extra marital affair but in secrecy. Break this secrecy and let them realize everyone is watching them as now it is not secret.
Self realization is the best answer in all such problems.
Regards,
Mandar
From India, Mumbai
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Try giving them an allowance so which could be "Getting to know each other" and a day off, so that they can discuss / talk / share what they have in their monds out of office. In this way other staf memmers will not be affted and the two employees will be able to segregate office and personal talks.
From India, Nagpur
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From India, Nagpur
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If you can subtly put across this point to the person's Line Manager, do so and leave it up to him/her. If the LM thinks it is affecting the person's performance and the office culture, he will take a call. Every organization has its own value system and policies. If something is not permissible as per the organization's policies, action will definitely be taken. Do not act unless it is affecting you professionally.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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What's your problem, Shashanknaharas...!! Is it affecting your work in any way? Why are you so worried? Let them enjoy life, and you mind your own business, and try to enjoy yourself as well. It's their life, and you don't need to worry about them.
From India, Hyderabad
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From India, Hyderabad
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That should do...and if you are nowhere near to talking, just ignore them. That wouldn't make any difference, because the company where I work is never against such things until our Customer Service or someone who can boss around finds out about it. First, be sure about the company's policies, then go ahead and shoot an email to the person who can really keep your identity anonymous.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Well, I too genuinely feel workplace romance and flirting should be chopped off, else it may lead to future developments with growing employees. I happened to encounter a similar scenario in my previous organization. As it was my own immediate superior, I had to seal my mouth and strap tight. I was to be given training by him, but because of this ongoing workplace drama, I was far lagging behind my peers. I was terribly scared to say anything, fearing to lose my job as he may go vindictive if I said anything. Because my manager was one genuine-hearted person who blatantly used the name of the person who complains on anyone.
But it was two months, and I seriously had problems knowing my job. I gathered all the courage and sent an email to my manager from my personal ID, requesting not to disclose my name for good. The next day, my immediate superior got a call from the manager, and that evening he was sacked out of his job. I was in turmoil. Happening to speak to a colleague of mine, I came to know that he already had a record of complaints and maybe for good or bad, the next day he was sacked. Till I came out of the organization, I had a paranoid feeling that he would know me as the cause for his removal.
— Taashu
Share what you know and speak what you feel. All's well that ends well.
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But it was two months, and I seriously had problems knowing my job. I gathered all the courage and sent an email to my manager from my personal ID, requesting not to disclose my name for good. The next day, my immediate superior got a call from the manager, and that evening he was sacked out of his job. I was in turmoil. Happening to speak to a colleague of mine, I came to know that he already had a record of complaints and maybe for good or bad, the next day he was sacked. Till I came out of the organization, I had a paranoid feeling that he would know me as the cause for his removal.
— Taashu
Share what you know and speak what you feel. All's well that ends well.
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Please see another thread on the same topic (link provided below). It too has many opinions, experiences, and suggestions.
https://www.citehr.com/173934-some-o...vironment.html
Regards.
From India, Delhi
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https://www.citehr.com/173934-some-o...vironment.html
Regards.
From India, Delhi
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If he is really irritating you and other employees, try to explain the problems that you are facing from that guy. If he doesn't believe you, make him understand you and your colleagues. Just go to your manager; maybe he will listen to you because it is a psychological fact that if many employees are complaining about another employee, he will definitely inquire about that guy. :)
From India, Hyderabad
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From India, Hyderabad
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Hmm, I guess as long as deadlines are met, it shouldn't be a problem. In such a case when it fails to be met and the issue crops up, during peer review, it can be brought up and spoken about. However, if it's a serious relationship, then the parties involved must adhere to all the policies on work relationships!
From India, Bangalore
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From India, Bangalore
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Why dont you try and communicate the problem to him... If he is smart enough... would get that.. Else try the same with the secretary...
From India, Hyderabad
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From India, Hyderabad
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There are a couple of things you can do:
1. Talk to them individually and explain what the staff thinks about them. Please make sure that instead of a person, a group talks to them. Maybe they have not realized their behavior and its impact until you inform them.
2. If nothing seems to change, the same group must talk to their bosses. This way, the boss will see that you are not engaging in any politics against them and will gain the correct insight into the concern.
3. Lastly, simply remove them from the team; they will realize their mistake.
Please do not engage in sending anonymous emails, removing their photos when together, passing comments, etc., as it is highly unprofessional.
Roopradhika
From India, Aurangabad
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1. Talk to them individually and explain what the staff thinks about them. Please make sure that instead of a person, a group talks to them. Maybe they have not realized their behavior and its impact until you inform them.
2. If nothing seems to change, the same group must talk to their bosses. This way, the boss will see that you are not engaging in any politics against them and will gain the correct insight into the concern.
3. Lastly, simply remove them from the team; they will realize their mistake.
Please do not engage in sending anonymous emails, removing their photos when together, passing comments, etc., as it is highly unprofessional.
Roopradhika
From India, Aurangabad
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I do understand that it disturbs the decorum in the office, so you guys should go and talk to your boss, making him understand the reality and get him transferred to some other department that is not related to that secretary.
From India, Delhi
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From India, Delhi
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I do not understand why these types of postings attract so much attention. In the last 3 months, this post is the 5th or 6th one on this topic. The most important thing is, everyone knows the solution and how to resolve it. But still, they post here for what reason? There are almost all very good posts that require lots of discussion, keeping our grey matter busy. Members, please take a look.
Click on the following links:
- http://citehr.com
- https://www.citehr.com/176296-why-tr...ed-impact.html
- https://www.citehr.com/179251-what-idea-sirjii.html
- http://citehr.com
- https://www.citehr.com/79624-nature-...anagement.html
- http://citehr.com
- http://citehr.com
- https://www.citehr.com/176269-have-y...-jd-right.html
- http://citehr.com
From India, Coimbatore
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Click on the following links:
- http://citehr.com
- https://www.citehr.com/176296-why-tr...ed-impact.html
- https://www.citehr.com/179251-what-idea-sirjii.html
- http://citehr.com
- https://www.citehr.com/79624-nature-...anagement.html
- http://citehr.com
- http://citehr.com
- https://www.citehr.com/176269-have-y...-jd-right.html
- http://citehr.com
From India, Coimbatore
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It is difficult to make them realize that they are on the wrong side of the road. Just do one thing, inform one of the family members of the secretary (secretly) and tell them to visit the office at the time the couple is sitting together.
I can suggest this because the same thing happened at my workplace. Some unknown visitor told the brother of the employee, and now the matter is solved. Everyone is relaxed, and that particular person is still unrelaxed. Try it out!
Regards, AV
From Pakistan
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I can suggest this because the same thing happened at my workplace. Some unknown visitor told the brother of the employee, and now the matter is solved. Everyone is relaxed, and that particular person is still unrelaxed. Try it out!
Regards, AV
From Pakistan
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Hi, I fully agree with the view of Shri. Rupendra. Let it go. Please tolerate for some period. Time will come. be patient. appu
From India, Madras
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From India, Madras
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Hi,
This case is very simple in nature. I am called as Loveguru.
1. If that person is important for the organization, make sure to present the facts and figures to your management when their performance is declining instead of when they are excelling. If they are still performing well, then there is no problem.
2. If this person is disrupting the office atmosphere, ensure you dismiss the secretary for not providing valuable service to the employer to whom she is assigned.
3. Maintain transparency in the office; if you are planning to appoint a new secretary in that department, it will instill a sense of accountability in them.
4. If no one else is facing issues and only you are, it may indicate that you come from a good family but are experiencing psychological challenges. Be mindful that there might have been some past incidents affecting you. Try to acknowledge and move on. Refocus your mind and carry out your duties diligently.
5. For further information, contact me at 09743329990, Nikhil. I am an astrologer, poet, dancer, singer, numerology expert, second in mimicry at the state level, and a Rangoli painter.
6. I hold a record for engaging in extensive conversations, as those who speak with me tend to be talkative due to my wide reading of 7056 electronic books, 567 hard copies of books on management, human psychology, holy books, and more.
7. If you wish to terminate that person's employment, it can be accomplished within a maximum of 4 days using certain strategies. Contact me for the details as I aim to prevent any further disruptions among all individuals.
Thank you.
From India, Bangalore
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This case is very simple in nature. I am called as Loveguru.
1. If that person is important for the organization, make sure to present the facts and figures to your management when their performance is declining instead of when they are excelling. If they are still performing well, then there is no problem.
2. If this person is disrupting the office atmosphere, ensure you dismiss the secretary for not providing valuable service to the employer to whom she is assigned.
3. Maintain transparency in the office; if you are planning to appoint a new secretary in that department, it will instill a sense of accountability in them.
4. If no one else is facing issues and only you are, it may indicate that you come from a good family but are experiencing psychological challenges. Be mindful that there might have been some past incidents affecting you. Try to acknowledge and move on. Refocus your mind and carry out your duties diligently.
5. For further information, contact me at 09743329990, Nikhil. I am an astrologer, poet, dancer, singer, numerology expert, second in mimicry at the state level, and a Rangoli painter.
6. I hold a record for engaging in extensive conversations, as those who speak with me tend to be talkative due to my wide reading of 7056 electronic books, 567 hard copies of books on management, human psychology, holy books, and more.
7. If you wish to terminate that person's employment, it can be accomplished within a maximum of 4 days using certain strategies. Contact me for the details as I aim to prevent any further disruptions among all individuals.
Thank you.
From India, Bangalore
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Interesting discussion.
I would like to share the same event that happened in my earlier organization. Initially, everything went well for one year, and after that, the big boss called and advised them. But no use, one day the big boss called and sacked them. Poor people. Everybody knows that sending out is not a good solution, but at the same time, other juniors should not get spoiled.
Raj
From India, Madras
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I would like to share the same event that happened in my earlier organization. Initially, everything went well for one year, and after that, the big boss called and advised them. But no use, one day the big boss called and sacked them. Poor people. Everybody knows that sending out is not a good solution, but at the same time, other juniors should not get spoiled.
Raj
From India, Madras
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I understand your problem because I have seen many 'couples' like that in my workplace. Some even went to an extreme stage, which I have just heard about but not seen.
If this does not bother your work, then just ignore it like your other colleagues. Otherwise, talk to your BIG BOSS. BUT you must keep in mind that while talking to your boss, you must not make it sound like a complaint against that guy. You have to just hint to the boss diplomatically. In other words, very lightly, you have to broach the matter, and your boss would understand the rest, as no boss can be irresponsible for his/her company.
From India, Madras
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If this does not bother your work, then just ignore it like your other colleagues. Otherwise, talk to your BIG BOSS. BUT you must keep in mind that while talking to your boss, you must not make it sound like a complaint against that guy. You have to just hint to the boss diplomatically. In other words, very lightly, you have to broach the matter, and your boss would understand the rest, as no boss can be irresponsible for his/her company.
From India, Madras
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Hey, if work performance is below expected, maybe that's what needs to be addressed. Flirting... what can one say other than it is a personal issue between two consenting adults... maybe it will blow over like a whiff of fragrance or maybe it will turn into something lasting. Who knows!
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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It's better to tell them to continue their personal work outside of office hours. For example, even I like reading CiteHR stuff, but I can't do so in my office, at least not every hour. Maybe I can have a pre-decided slot for my CiteHR browsing.
You can suggest they select a time slot for themselves. In this way, they won't be hampering the regular work. Plus, it's not professionalism to do such things at the office. If their interactions are causing embarrassment for others or disturbing them, it needs to be rectified by your HR executive/head. Try talking to them.
All the best.
From India, Madras
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You can suggest they select a time slot for themselves. In this way, they won't be hampering the regular work. Plus, it's not professionalism to do such things at the office. If their interactions are causing embarrassment for others or disturbing them, it needs to be rectified by your HR executive/head. Try talking to them.
All the best.
From India, Madras
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Seriously...why you want to break them Infact, i would suggest to bring join them together...provoke them to get married things will get strainght automatically.
From India
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From India
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These situations definitely spoil the work environment. Please talk to them in person individually. If they understand, that's good. If they don't, then inform the HR department. Let the HR play its role in handling this situation.
From India, Hyderabad
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From India, Hyderabad
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Official letters writing problem still not solved Always try for better words and quotes for forwarding letters any solution also advice needed for staff control.
From Pakistan, Mardan
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From Pakistan, Mardan
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Oh man, we are going towards an era of human capital investment - trying to make the workplace less stressful and more fun, and a place to contribute towards organizational goals. If two individuals (adults) want to have something, let them have it. After all, how much time does one get besides work to find someone else?
As for the ignoring part of the work, it's serious. They are paid to perform and bring results. Responsibly, both should be approached openly and without fear by all of you in the workplace and advised to give prime consideration to tasks at hand. There is no need to go to the big boss; let them know you all are concerned about their job performance and future. Extend your services if they need some help, i.e., tying the knot or something. Let them know you all want to perform your duties well and be evaluated on the performance delivered. You all don't want any of their actions affecting your departmental/individual performance. Also, hint at the last resort if things don't get back to normal. An open and right way to talk always solves the issue.
From Pakistan, Islamabad
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As for the ignoring part of the work, it's serious. They are paid to perform and bring results. Responsibly, both should be approached openly and without fear by all of you in the workplace and advised to give prime consideration to tasks at hand. There is no need to go to the big boss; let them know you all are concerned about their job performance and future. Extend your services if they need some help, i.e., tying the knot or something. Let them know you all want to perform your duties well and be evaluated on the performance delivered. You all don't want any of their actions affecting your departmental/individual performance. Also, hint at the last resort if things don't get back to normal. An open and right way to talk always solves the issue.
From Pakistan, Islamabad
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Hi Alisha, I feel the office place is not for flirting or hunting for a groom or bride. Even if they find their partner there, flirting should be kept outside. It will pave the way for others to get distracted from work and make it an interesting topic of the day.
We faced the same problem in our office. The issue was due to our HR Manager (who was married). With his good conversation skills, he received an offer from our office. Later, when some issues arose, we came to know he had left many companies before due to his behavior. Initially, my manager had good conversations and a very good relationship within our team and with all employees. We were a team of three. Some of our employees came and told us what was happening behind the scenes. They said that he was giving special attention to female employees and always asking one or the other female to his cabin, claiming it was for official talk.
Later, a girl joined our HR team. She had many personal problems, and my manager came to know about all her problems. He told us that we had to console her and be good to her. We thought he was speaking with good intentions. Most of the time, he would chat with her, or if she was on leave, he would call her and talk. He would take her to a restaurant, telling us, "She has some problems, so I will take her out, talk to her, and console her while you guys stay here and take care of the work." He even used me to talk to the girl at times, and I was unaware. My other teammate and I didn't believe it. The crucial thing was that even the girl wasn't aware of his intentions.
Later, his behavior worsened, but the girl believed in him a lot and saw him as a guide, not suspecting him due to his marital status. We couldn't tell her about his intentions. When he realized we were aware, he increased work pressure on us. If we tried to tell her, he would create a scene, claiming we were jealous because he was giving her importance. The girl eventually discovered the talks within the office and felt very sad. By that time, even our senior had informed her of his intentions. Suddenly, without any notice, she sent a resignation email and quit on the same day.
I want to advise all female employees never to share your personal problems with anyone, no matter how close they are to you, whether male or female. You never know when someone might play games in your life.
From India, Bangalore
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We faced the same problem in our office. The issue was due to our HR Manager (who was married). With his good conversation skills, he received an offer from our office. Later, when some issues arose, we came to know he had left many companies before due to his behavior. Initially, my manager had good conversations and a very good relationship within our team and with all employees. We were a team of three. Some of our employees came and told us what was happening behind the scenes. They said that he was giving special attention to female employees and always asking one or the other female to his cabin, claiming it was for official talk.
Later, a girl joined our HR team. She had many personal problems, and my manager came to know about all her problems. He told us that we had to console her and be good to her. We thought he was speaking with good intentions. Most of the time, he would chat with her, or if she was on leave, he would call her and talk. He would take her to a restaurant, telling us, "She has some problems, so I will take her out, talk to her, and console her while you guys stay here and take care of the work." He even used me to talk to the girl at times, and I was unaware. My other teammate and I didn't believe it. The crucial thing was that even the girl wasn't aware of his intentions.
Later, his behavior worsened, but the girl believed in him a lot and saw him as a guide, not suspecting him due to his marital status. We couldn't tell her about his intentions. When he realized we were aware, he increased work pressure on us. If we tried to tell her, he would create a scene, claiming we were jealous because he was giving her importance. The girl eventually discovered the talks within the office and felt very sad. By that time, even our senior had informed her of his intentions. Suddenly, without any notice, she sent a resignation email and quit on the same day.
I want to advise all female employees never to share your personal problems with anyone, no matter how close they are to you, whether male or female. You never know when someone might play games in your life.
From India, Bangalore
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How are you responsible to set it right?
If you are in HR, you have to open your mouth. If you can't, you are not capable of being in HR. Use assertive communication skills.
If this is not your responsibility, accept Hamid's suggestion. Be focused on your work. You will not have time to see what others are doing.
From India, Mumbai
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If you are in HR, you have to open your mouth. If you can't, you are not capable of being in HR. Use assertive communication skills.
If this is not your responsibility, accept Hamid's suggestion. Be focused on your work. You will not have time to see what others are doing.
From India, Mumbai
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Swati, why just female employees? Why not all?
I think in the office there should be decorum. Some level of personal interaction is okay, but beyond that, they should do it outside of the office during off hours. This should be a general policy for all.
Maintaining some distance between personal and professional life helps everyone.
From India, Mumbai
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I think in the office there should be decorum. Some level of personal interaction is okay, but beyond that, they should do it outside of the office during off hours. This should be a general policy for all.
Maintaining some distance between personal and professional life helps everyone.
From India, Mumbai
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Hi Swati.HR,
Do you think women are the weaker sex? Do you think they always need protection? You say the workplace is not for flirting, etc. I also say it's not for flirting, but in fact, it is for romancing. You need to creatively delve into entrepreneurial and intrapreneurial aptitudes for continuous push towards process development in any organization that has future market and customer goals (CRM).
Please read these lines very carefully: "AS LONG AS HUMAN BEINGS ARE IN SOME PLACE WHERE THEY HAVE TO BE TOGETHER FOR SOME PURPOSE, LIKENESS AND DISLIKES WILL DEVELOP." You cannot fight human nature—just add a couple of indemnity clauses and tell whoever wants to join your company, whether a girl or a guy, that we have an open attitude about everything we are concerned with performance and that's it. If you have issues, speak up. And hey, my colleague, a girl, was approached by my manager in a wrong way (you know what I mean), and she stood up for herself. He had to be hospitalized and eventually fired from the organization. Boom! Do your job well, and if something is not right, raise your voice. I know there are too many "mummy daddy" sort of things here, and that's okay with me. I don't say a thing to them, and neither do they. Perform your duties; if they are affected somehow, raise your voice on every available platform. KHIPISH.
Bottom line: life is for living. I hate it when somebody makes this notion that there is a work-life, which is serious, boring, and always has to be stiff-necked. Life is important; give people life and have fun. :)
From Pakistan, Islamabad
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Do you think women are the weaker sex? Do you think they always need protection? You say the workplace is not for flirting, etc. I also say it's not for flirting, but in fact, it is for romancing. You need to creatively delve into entrepreneurial and intrapreneurial aptitudes for continuous push towards process development in any organization that has future market and customer goals (CRM).
Please read these lines very carefully: "AS LONG AS HUMAN BEINGS ARE IN SOME PLACE WHERE THEY HAVE TO BE TOGETHER FOR SOME PURPOSE, LIKENESS AND DISLIKES WILL DEVELOP." You cannot fight human nature—just add a couple of indemnity clauses and tell whoever wants to join your company, whether a girl or a guy, that we have an open attitude about everything we are concerned with performance and that's it. If you have issues, speak up. And hey, my colleague, a girl, was approached by my manager in a wrong way (you know what I mean), and she stood up for herself. He had to be hospitalized and eventually fired from the organization. Boom! Do your job well, and if something is not right, raise your voice. I know there are too many "mummy daddy" sort of things here, and that's okay with me. I don't say a thing to them, and neither do they. Perform your duties; if they are affected somehow, raise your voice on every available platform. KHIPISH.
Bottom line: life is for living. I hate it when somebody makes this notion that there is a work-life, which is serious, boring, and always has to be stiff-necked. Life is important; give people life and have fun. :)
From Pakistan, Islamabad
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Dear Friend,
It is very difficult to change the values of any person. We can bring about change in the attitude or behavior. The best solution is not to personalize the matter but to create a code of conduct for the employees in which this behavior must be highlighted as a general rule to be followed by all employees. There should be some members designated to observe discipline. Most probably, he will understand the need for necessary change. If not, based on the recommendation of the discipline supervisor, you can take any disciplinary action. However, you must make every effort to make him understand that he is violating the code of conduct.
Prasad Bhanage - Pune Currently in Malaysia
From India, Pune
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It is very difficult to change the values of any person. We can bring about change in the attitude or behavior. The best solution is not to personalize the matter but to create a code of conduct for the employees in which this behavior must be highlighted as a general rule to be followed by all employees. There should be some members designated to observe discipline. Most probably, he will understand the need for necessary change. If not, based on the recommendation of the discipline supervisor, you can take any disciplinary action. However, you must make every effort to make him understand that he is violating the code of conduct.
Prasad Bhanage - Pune Currently in Malaysia
From India, Pune
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My dear Swati
It is natural for people to shy away from things which have given them bad experience.
A cat who has walked over hot bricks, will not walk over a hot brick again. But the flip side of it is - it will not walk over any bricks again.
Wherever people assemble, male(s) or female(s), and spend considerable time together doing the same or separate activities, individual and group dynamics are bound to take place.
A person should guide oneself with dignity and should be mindful of the office decorum.
A colleague can be a very good friend too; and he/she is much more accessible (in terms of visible contact) than anyone else.
Not having any friend in office; or, not developing friendship with anyone, is just denying oneself the goodness of true friendship. Colleagues become good friends because they have true respect for each other and know the worth of a friend.
Most of my good friends, over the years, are those with whom I had the opportunity to work together.
From India, Delhi
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It is natural for people to shy away from things which have given them bad experience.
A cat who has walked over hot bricks, will not walk over a hot brick again. But the flip side of it is - it will not walk over any bricks again.
Wherever people assemble, male(s) or female(s), and spend considerable time together doing the same or separate activities, individual and group dynamics are bound to take place.
A person should guide oneself with dignity and should be mindful of the office decorum.
A colleague can be a very good friend too; and he/she is much more accessible (in terms of visible contact) than anyone else.
Not having any friend in office; or, not developing friendship with anyone, is just denying oneself the goodness of true friendship. Colleagues become good friends because they have true respect for each other and know the worth of a friend.
Most of my good friends, over the years, are those with whom I had the opportunity to work together.
From India, Delhi
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O, bitching and gossiping about your superiors' romance is neither healthy nor productive for the company.
If you have an issue, have the guts to discuss it; otherwise, keep quiet about it. It is what it is.
Personally, I have no issues with anyone having an affair. Keep it behind closed doors, be professional at work, and enjoy your personal life outside of work.
From Australia, Adelaide
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If you have an issue, have the guts to discuss it; otherwise, keep quiet about it. It is what it is.
Personally, I have no issues with anyone having an affair. Keep it behind closed doors, be professional at work, and enjoy your personal life outside of work.
From Australia, Adelaide
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I completely agree with it. On the other side, HR is like policemen; unless you get complaints from employees, then it is absolutely not a problem. Without complaints, the issue cannot be addressed. If you do so, "Then it is fire on your seat." Without complaints, if you address it, then you are getting involved in his personal life and interrupting his work. Try to be smart... Try to gather complaints in written form.
Other things, like as per others' advice, "Policy on workplace romance and other policies can be implemented." Keep in mind that a policy should be applied to all, not for a particular person. Try thinking outside the box and play smart. After all, life is life...
Bingo! Pradeep
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Other things, like as per others' advice, "Policy on workplace romance and other policies can be implemented." Keep in mind that a policy should be applied to all, not for a particular person. Try thinking outside the box and play smart. After all, life is life...
Bingo! Pradeep
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And for a senior-level person, he would have already seen many people like you. It's absolutely nonsense to get involved. And do you have any ego problems talking to girls, a lady, or a secretary? Never mind all these. If he is not doing his work properly or there is sexual harassment, it can be addressed and proved. I don't know what your problem is. Leave it as it is and focus on your agenda. I hope finding these kinds of stuff is really useless and seems like there is no work in HR in that company.
If you feel bad about the above comment, I apologize for that. After all, life is life. Enjoy it.
Bingo!!
Pradeep
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If you feel bad about the above comment, I apologize for that. After all, life is life. Enjoy it.
Bingo!!
Pradeep
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Hi,
Romance or flirting is purely a personal matter between two adults who happen to work in the same office. As long as we do not receive any complaints from colleagues or others with substantial proof or a solid reason to believe that the said relationship is interfering in official matters, we should not and cannot take any action. There is no rule that two individuals cannot fall in love or flirt in the workplace anyway :)
Regards,
Pavel Chopra
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Romance or flirting is purely a personal matter between two adults who happen to work in the same office. As long as we do not receive any complaints from colleagues or others with substantial proof or a solid reason to believe that the said relationship is interfering in official matters, we should not and cannot take any action. There is no rule that two individuals cannot fall in love or flirt in the workplace anyway :)
Regards,
Pavel Chopra
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Dear Friend,
Don't take this matter very seriously and don't let this affect your work. This is common to almost all organizations. If you were to talk directly to that guy, he may get offended and may use his power to harm your career in some way. It's better to neglect them if their interactions are limited to chit-chatting and having coffee together.
If you find that their behavior is truly indecent and disturbing the culture and environment of the organization, you can discuss the matter with the HR Head and inform them about the issue without using names.
Hope this helps solve your problem.
Regards,
Shweta
From India, Bangalore
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Don't take this matter very seriously and don't let this affect your work. This is common to almost all organizations. If you were to talk directly to that guy, he may get offended and may use his power to harm your career in some way. It's better to neglect them if their interactions are limited to chit-chatting and having coffee together.
If you find that their behavior is truly indecent and disturbing the culture and environment of the organization, you can discuss the matter with the HR Head and inform them about the issue without using names.
Hope this helps solve your problem.
Regards,
Shweta
From India, Bangalore
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Hi,
Thanks for the feedback and the good discussion.
For those who think we had a useless discussion, I have something to say.
It is not a case of "sour grapes" or a flimsy topic or an ignorable point being made a matter of gossip on a serious platform.
In an office environment where such activities are going on, it becomes irritating for all to see two people making the environment look silly amidst the work pressure and the tension that should naturally exist in the workplace.
The other people in that department, whose boss is flirting, start looking like a bunch of jokers, as they are not able to produce much and have to move at the pace of their boss. The boss is not focusing on the job, work is being ignored, and it has become a second priority. Having good contacts with top-notch individuals can save him, but the juniors will not be saved.
The team interaction has reduced as the boss is constantly striving to reach the secretary and not giving time to his team.
And a few more little effects creep in. Now, I hope people who insist on focusing only on serious and international topics can appreciate the importance of such local topics, which also affect us significantly and are quite common.
Regards,
Shashank
From India, Delhi
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Thanks for the feedback and the good discussion.
For those who think we had a useless discussion, I have something to say.
It is not a case of "sour grapes" or a flimsy topic or an ignorable point being made a matter of gossip on a serious platform.
In an office environment where such activities are going on, it becomes irritating for all to see two people making the environment look silly amidst the work pressure and the tension that should naturally exist in the workplace.
The other people in that department, whose boss is flirting, start looking like a bunch of jokers, as they are not able to produce much and have to move at the pace of their boss. The boss is not focusing on the job, work is being ignored, and it has become a second priority. Having good contacts with top-notch individuals can save him, but the juniors will not be saved.
The team interaction has reduced as the boss is constantly striving to reach the secretary and not giving time to his team.
And a few more little effects creep in. Now, I hope people who insist on focusing only on serious and international topics can appreciate the importance of such local topics, which also affect us significantly and are quite common.
Regards,
Shashank
From India, Delhi
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Hi,
Thank you for the feedback and the good discussion.
For those who think we had a useless discussion, I have something to say.
It is not a case of "sour grapes" or a filmy topic or an ignorable point being made a matter of gossip on a serious platform.
In an office environment where such activities are going on, it becomes irritating for all to see two people making the environment look silly amidst the work pressure and the tension that should exist in the workplace.
The other people in that department, whose boss is flirting, start looking like a bunch of jokers as they are unable to be productive and have to keep up with the pace of their boss. The boss is not focusing on the job, work is being ignored, and it has become a second priority. Having good contacts with top-notch individuals can save him, but the juniors will not be saved.
Team interaction has decreased as the boss is constantly striving to reach the secretary every hour and not giving time to his team.
And a few more little effects creep in. Now, I hope people who insist on focusing solely on serious and international topics can appreciate the importance of such local topics, which also greatly affect us and are quite common.
Regards,
Shashank
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Thank you for the feedback and the good discussion.
For those who think we had a useless discussion, I have something to say.
It is not a case of "sour grapes" or a filmy topic or an ignorable point being made a matter of gossip on a serious platform.
In an office environment where such activities are going on, it becomes irritating for all to see two people making the environment look silly amidst the work pressure and the tension that should exist in the workplace.
The other people in that department, whose boss is flirting, start looking like a bunch of jokers as they are unable to be productive and have to keep up with the pace of their boss. The boss is not focusing on the job, work is being ignored, and it has become a second priority. Having good contacts with top-notch individuals can save him, but the juniors will not be saved.
Team interaction has decreased as the boss is constantly striving to reach the secretary every hour and not giving time to his team.
And a few more little effects creep in. Now, I hope people who insist on focusing solely on serious and international topics can appreciate the importance of such local topics, which also greatly affect us and are quite common.
Regards,
Shashank
From India, Delhi
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