Dear All,
I really need help and suggestions at this point in my career. What should one do if the immediate boss is biased and engaging in a lot of inequality and unfair treatment within the team? We also know that HR is his best friend, so we can't even consider addressing our pain points with them.
I want to know whether we should live with these issues and start looking for a change, or if not, whom should we address our problems to?
Regards
From India, Chandigarh
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1I really need help and suggestions at this point in my career. What should one do if the immediate boss is biased and engaging in a lot of inequality and unfair treatment within the team? We also know that HR is his best friend, so we can't even consider addressing our pain points with them.
I want to know whether we should live with these issues and start looking for a change, or if not, whom should we address our problems to?
Regards
From India, Chandigarh
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Dear Toshika,
The problem you are facing is very common among many employees. The key is how you overcome the situation. Instead of reacting, you need to respond. Whether the issue is due to gender bias or regional biases, the focus should be on your work. Strive to perform better than those individuals who may be favorites of your boss. By excelling in your work, you will gain recognition for your hard work and dedication from your colleagues, superiors, and even your boss. Perhaps, with outstanding performance, you could even reach the same position as your boss. This way, your problem will naturally be resolved, and you will find satisfaction.
Focus on your performance and demonstrate your talent to outperform your competitors.
From India, Hyderabad
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The problem you are facing is very common among many employees. The key is how you overcome the situation. Instead of reacting, you need to respond. Whether the issue is due to gender bias or regional biases, the focus should be on your work. Strive to perform better than those individuals who may be favorites of your boss. By excelling in your work, you will gain recognition for your hard work and dedication from your colleagues, superiors, and even your boss. Perhaps, with outstanding performance, you could even reach the same position as your boss. This way, your problem will naturally be resolved, and you will find satisfaction.
Focus on your performance and demonstrate your talent to outperform your competitors.
From India, Hyderabad
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Favoritism is common here wherever there is a presence of humans. It is not only a natural tendency of human beings but also one of the psychological processes that influences individuals by something that soothes them. It is like a spring - the more you suppress such behaviors, the more likely they are to bounce back.
Moving on to the issue of inequality, this requires keen observation. Just because someone is appreciated in front of you, it is natural to feel low or even emotionally attacked. However, this does not necessarily indicate unequal treatment. If you feel deprived only of attention from HR, it does not qualify as inequality.
When it comes to unfair treatment, this is a major concern for almost all employees regarding HR-employee relationships. The reasons for this can vary, such as HR having a short temper, failing to separate personal and professional relationships, lacking abilities, internal complexities, biases against certain employees, knowledge and skill set differences, being too lenient or rigid, facing pressure from superiors, and more. These are personal issues that individuals should work on, with minimal external assistance.
Bias is another detrimental issue in workplaces, especially prevalent when individuals are well-known, favor appreciation over criticism, lack patience and ability to differentiate based on value, are easily influenced, exhibit superiority complex, or have pride and prejudice.
In conclusion, although it may seem easy to address these issues boldly, they are actually subtle and disturbing matters that the HR department must handle. Employees do suffer due to these issues, often without HR's awareness. It is crucial to inform HR in an acceptable, impersonal manner whenever an opportunity arises. Avoid confronting HR directly or during meetings unless prompted, as reactions can vary and lead to further complications.
If uncomfortable speaking to HR alone, consider writing an anonymous letter or having colleagues support your concerns. Establish a suggestion box in your department for issue resolution, ensuring it is used appropriately. Engaging a mutual friend of HR to convey concerns may also be effective due to the existing relationship dynamics.
Lastly, analyze matters objectively and set aside emotions to find solutions. If HR remains unresponsive, escalate the issue to superiors for a change. Stay united and resilient throughout the process.
Reflecting on why HR may overlook these issues, it is essential for HR to understand and address concerns with a positive and professional demeanor.
Good luck and have a pleasant day.
From India, Bangalore
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Moving on to the issue of inequality, this requires keen observation. Just because someone is appreciated in front of you, it is natural to feel low or even emotionally attacked. However, this does not necessarily indicate unequal treatment. If you feel deprived only of attention from HR, it does not qualify as inequality.
When it comes to unfair treatment, this is a major concern for almost all employees regarding HR-employee relationships. The reasons for this can vary, such as HR having a short temper, failing to separate personal and professional relationships, lacking abilities, internal complexities, biases against certain employees, knowledge and skill set differences, being too lenient or rigid, facing pressure from superiors, and more. These are personal issues that individuals should work on, with minimal external assistance.
Bias is another detrimental issue in workplaces, especially prevalent when individuals are well-known, favor appreciation over criticism, lack patience and ability to differentiate based on value, are easily influenced, exhibit superiority complex, or have pride and prejudice.
In conclusion, although it may seem easy to address these issues boldly, they are actually subtle and disturbing matters that the HR department must handle. Employees do suffer due to these issues, often without HR's awareness. It is crucial to inform HR in an acceptable, impersonal manner whenever an opportunity arises. Avoid confronting HR directly or during meetings unless prompted, as reactions can vary and lead to further complications.
If uncomfortable speaking to HR alone, consider writing an anonymous letter or having colleagues support your concerns. Establish a suggestion box in your department for issue resolution, ensuring it is used appropriately. Engaging a mutual friend of HR to convey concerns may also be effective due to the existing relationship dynamics.
Lastly, analyze matters objectively and set aside emotions to find solutions. If HR remains unresponsive, escalate the issue to superiors for a change. Stay united and resilient throughout the process.
Reflecting on why HR may overlook these issues, it is essential for HR to understand and address concerns with a positive and professional demeanor.
Good luck and have a pleasant day.
From India, Bangalore
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Dear Ms. Toshika Srivastava,
I certainly understand what you're going through. The majority of the situation is seen when the "Boss"/ "Manager"/ "HOD" throws negativity, which comes from unfair or undeserved conditions. They are probably attempting to inform and give support, not realizing that they are speaking offensively. Don't be confrontational; put your ego aside and discuss criticism issues with your boss, taking care that the discussion doesn't escalate into a fight.
You don't have to succumb to the negative feelings of your boss. Do not become negative with your boss or put your job in jeopardy only because of inappropriate disagreements. Be positive and check three things before you conclude to any decision: Whatever the boss said, "Is that personal"? "Is that permanent?" and "Does that really matter to you in your life?". Bosses have little to do with you personally; it might just be fleeting angry words that don't actually matter to you as you are working for your own cause.
The best thing to do is to ignore the bad and counteract your boss's negativity by being positive.
From India, Visakhapatnam
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I certainly understand what you're going through. The majority of the situation is seen when the "Boss"/ "Manager"/ "HOD" throws negativity, which comes from unfair or undeserved conditions. They are probably attempting to inform and give support, not realizing that they are speaking offensively. Don't be confrontational; put your ego aside and discuss criticism issues with your boss, taking care that the discussion doesn't escalate into a fight.
You don't have to succumb to the negative feelings of your boss. Do not become negative with your boss or put your job in jeopardy only because of inappropriate disagreements. Be positive and check three things before you conclude to any decision: Whatever the boss said, "Is that personal"? "Is that permanent?" and "Does that really matter to you in your life?". Bosses have little to do with you personally; it might just be fleeting angry words that don't actually matter to you as you are working for your own cause.
The best thing to do is to ignore the bad and counteract your boss's negativity by being positive.
From India, Visakhapatnam
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Dear Toshika,
I largely concur with the views of Gayatreekar. We cannot expect others to behave in a way that is ideal or exemplary. This does not mean that the boss is justified in meting out unfair and unequal treatment to some members of the team. You should know that we cannot control others' behavior but we can control our own behavior. Therefore, do not react but respond to the situation positively as Gayatreekar suggested and focus on your work rather than on the behavior of the boss. Try to understand what is the reason for his biased behavior. Sometimes understanding the cause will mitigate the hurtful effect. Many times the cause turns out to be too frivolous to worry about. These things are common in workplaces. There will always be some 'blue-eyed boys' of the bosses at workplaces, even though they may not deliver anything. So wait and watch for some time. This too will pass along with time.
B. Saikumar
HR & Labour Law Advisor
Mumbai
From India, Mumbai
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I largely concur with the views of Gayatreekar. We cannot expect others to behave in a way that is ideal or exemplary. This does not mean that the boss is justified in meting out unfair and unequal treatment to some members of the team. You should know that we cannot control others' behavior but we can control our own behavior. Therefore, do not react but respond to the situation positively as Gayatreekar suggested and focus on your work rather than on the behavior of the boss. Try to understand what is the reason for his biased behavior. Sometimes understanding the cause will mitigate the hurtful effect. Many times the cause turns out to be too frivolous to worry about. These things are common in workplaces. There will always be some 'blue-eyed boys' of the bosses at workplaces, even though they may not deliver anything. So wait and watch for some time. This too will pass along with time.
B. Saikumar
HR & Labour Law Advisor
Mumbai
From India, Mumbai
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Dear All,
Thank you for all your guidance.
I want to share something as my manager is not allowing me to focus on my work. Every now and then, he is creating hassles. I have already proved myself as the top performer, but due to a personal loss, I took a few days of approved holidays.
It's really tough when you work hard to make organizational goals your own personal goals, and when you need support from the organization, they become biased and listen only to one-sided communication, which is only from the managers or boss.
If we present our thoughts to management or HR, they would just escalate the matter, potentially leading to a forced resignation. So, whether you perform well or not, it's ultimately your manager's choice to keep you in the system.
At this point, all I can see is that you must be a slave to your manager if you want to stay professionally happy. It's so disgusting.
If this is the behavior of the HR division, then I firmly believe that such divisions should not exist in any organization.
I apologize if I have offended anyone. There is no intention to cause offense.
Please suggest ways for me to improve myself before joining any new organization.
Thank you.
From India, Chandigarh
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Thank you for all your guidance.
I want to share something as my manager is not allowing me to focus on my work. Every now and then, he is creating hassles. I have already proved myself as the top performer, but due to a personal loss, I took a few days of approved holidays.
It's really tough when you work hard to make organizational goals your own personal goals, and when you need support from the organization, they become biased and listen only to one-sided communication, which is only from the managers or boss.
If we present our thoughts to management or HR, they would just escalate the matter, potentially leading to a forced resignation. So, whether you perform well or not, it's ultimately your manager's choice to keep you in the system.
At this point, all I can see is that you must be a slave to your manager if you want to stay professionally happy. It's so disgusting.
If this is the behavior of the HR division, then I firmly believe that such divisions should not exist in any organization.
I apologize if I have offended anyone. There is no intention to cause offense.
Please suggest ways for me to improve myself before joining any new organization.
Thank you.
From India, Chandigarh
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Dear Toshika,
I understand what you are going through, and honestly, no matter how much anyone says to be positive, the situation does not let you be one. I would also admit that no advice would help much because what you face is up to you. I would only say it's a common yet grave problem, and soon you yourself will find a solution to it. Just keep the following points in mind:
1. Prioritize what is important for you - the job. If yes, then you have to be a little patient, and if no, then be honest with your work here and look for a change.
2. What is more important for you - your boss appreciating you or you being satisfied with your efforts? I know you would say one can't neglect the boss even if you are a star performer, but here I am talking about how important it is. As you mentioned, you have already proved your mettle, then I am sure no matter how much your boss is against you, other people will definitely acknowledge your worth.
3. Always bear in mind that some people tend to be like that, especially bosses; they are there to make you learn some lessons. You would be great when it comes to your job, but there is something called PROFESSIONALISM which can only be inculcated through experience. So, these people are here to teach you that.
4. And lastly, don't worry about the next job. When you get one, you will be far more learned and professional in dealing with office politics.
So, all the very best...
From India, Asansol
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I understand what you are going through, and honestly, no matter how much anyone says to be positive, the situation does not let you be one. I would also admit that no advice would help much because what you face is up to you. I would only say it's a common yet grave problem, and soon you yourself will find a solution to it. Just keep the following points in mind:
1. Prioritize what is important for you - the job. If yes, then you have to be a little patient, and if no, then be honest with your work here and look for a change.
2. What is more important for you - your boss appreciating you or you being satisfied with your efforts? I know you would say one can't neglect the boss even if you are a star performer, but here I am talking about how important it is. As you mentioned, you have already proved your mettle, then I am sure no matter how much your boss is against you, other people will definitely acknowledge your worth.
3. Always bear in mind that some people tend to be like that, especially bosses; they are there to make you learn some lessons. You would be great when it comes to your job, but there is something called PROFESSIONALISM which can only be inculcated through experience. So, these people are here to teach you that.
4. And lastly, don't worry about the next job. When you get one, you will be far more learned and professional in dealing with office politics.
So, all the very best...
From India, Asansol
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Dear Toshika,
I understand what you are going through, and honestly, no matter how much anyone says to be positive, the situation does not let you be one. I would also admit that no advice would help much because what you face is up to you. I would only say it's a common yet a grave problem, and soon you yourself will find a solution to it, just keep the following points in mind:
1. Prioritize what is important for you. Is it the job? If yes, then you have to be a little patient, and if no, then be honest with your work here and look for a change.
2. What is more important for you - your boss appreciating you or you being satisfied with your efforts? I know you would say one can't neglect the boss even if you are a star performer, but here I am talking about how important it is. As you mentioned, you have already proved your mettle, then I am sure no matter how much your boss is against you, other people will definitely acknowledge your worth.
3. Always bear in mind that some people tend to be like that, and especially bosses, they are there to make you learn some lessons. You would be great when it comes to your job, but there is something called PROFESSIONALISM which can only be inculcated through experience. So, these people are here to teach you that.
4. And lastly, don't worry about the next job, as when you get one, you would be far more learned and professional in dealing with office politics.
So, all the very best...
From India, Asansol
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
I understand what you are going through, and honestly, no matter how much anyone says to be positive, the situation does not let you be one. I would also admit that no advice would help much because what you face is up to you. I would only say it's a common yet a grave problem, and soon you yourself will find a solution to it, just keep the following points in mind:
1. Prioritize what is important for you. Is it the job? If yes, then you have to be a little patient, and if no, then be honest with your work here and look for a change.
2. What is more important for you - your boss appreciating you or you being satisfied with your efforts? I know you would say one can't neglect the boss even if you are a star performer, but here I am talking about how important it is. As you mentioned, you have already proved your mettle, then I am sure no matter how much your boss is against you, other people will definitely acknowledge your worth.
3. Always bear in mind that some people tend to be like that, and especially bosses, they are there to make you learn some lessons. You would be great when it comes to your job, but there is something called PROFESSIONALISM which can only be inculcated through experience. So, these people are here to teach you that.
4. And lastly, don't worry about the next job, as when you get one, you would be far more learned and professional in dealing with office politics.
So, all the very best...
From India, Asansol
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
My suggestion is Toshika must first try to do a reality check about the issue and how much it's worth to her.
Is it a single issue on which the Boss is biased or many? If I ignore it, does it bother me?
Sometimes a blue-eyed employee of a good boss also suffers as he/she is delegated more and more work. The boss, without explicitly saying it, lays more confidence in his/her capabilities. Such employees also suffer in leave sanction as the boss feels uncomfortable in the absence of such employees.
Having said that, whether the issues are real, light, or serious, after doing an honest reality check with yourself, make an opportunity to talk to this Boss one-on-one. Vent out incidents and how you feel about it and get his point of view.
In my professional experience, the majority of national and international major and minor issues were sorted out by this method.
In minority cases where, if it continues unresolved, you may decide on appropriate action based on other ground realities of your business environment like approaching HR, CMD, or changing jobs, considering how much you need/love your present position, etc.
From India, Delhi
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Is it a single issue on which the Boss is biased or many? If I ignore it, does it bother me?
Sometimes a blue-eyed employee of a good boss also suffers as he/she is delegated more and more work. The boss, without explicitly saying it, lays more confidence in his/her capabilities. Such employees also suffer in leave sanction as the boss feels uncomfortable in the absence of such employees.
Having said that, whether the issues are real, light, or serious, after doing an honest reality check with yourself, make an opportunity to talk to this Boss one-on-one. Vent out incidents and how you feel about it and get his point of view.
In my professional experience, the majority of national and international major and minor issues were sorted out by this method.
In minority cases where, if it continues unresolved, you may decide on appropriate action based on other ground realities of your business environment like approaching HR, CMD, or changing jobs, considering how much you need/love your present position, etc.
From India, Delhi
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