Sex at Workplace - Using Sex to get a Job, to get Promotions, to get exponential increase in salary package, to get onsite-posting, favorite assignment and projects
Sex – A three letter word and most used word in the world. This can be used in different context.
In this forum and in this question I like to ask and share the usage to “sex” in corporate world. It is not only in movies and in fashion industry (where the route to your success passes through the bed-room of your director, producer and actor) but even in the corporate world, practical usage of this three letter word is in rise, particularly in last 10-15 years or so.
It is not only male-bosses asking their female subordinates to pass through this route but in last 5 years, there were many incidents where females-bosses have asked their male subordinates for such un-warranted favors. It is give and take. It is as if asking, “You give me your weekends and free time and I will give you growth, success and money”.
Now, the questions are:
1) Have you heard about any such incident in your friend circle?
2) Have you received such proposals from your bosses?
3) Do you think it is ethical?
4) If given a choice, will you walk the similar roads? (Recently we also discussed about “thinking through head and thinking through heart”) in this case, how will you think?
Looking forward to your comments
Regards
Sanjeev Himachali
(BLOG: <link outdated-removed> http://sanjeevhimachali.blogspot.com/ )
From India, Mumbai
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100Sex – A three letter word and most used word in the world. This can be used in different context.
In this forum and in this question I like to ask and share the usage to “sex” in corporate world. It is not only in movies and in fashion industry (where the route to your success passes through the bed-room of your director, producer and actor) but even in the corporate world, practical usage of this three letter word is in rise, particularly in last 10-15 years or so.
It is not only male-bosses asking their female subordinates to pass through this route but in last 5 years, there were many incidents where females-bosses have asked their male subordinates for such un-warranted favors. It is give and take. It is as if asking, “You give me your weekends and free time and I will give you growth, success and money”.
Now, the questions are:
1) Have you heard about any such incident in your friend circle?
2) Have you received such proposals from your bosses?
3) Do you think it is ethical?
4) If given a choice, will you walk the similar roads? (Recently we also discussed about “thinking through head and thinking through heart”) in this case, how will you think?
Looking forward to your comments
Regards
Sanjeev Himachali
(BLOG: <link outdated-removed> http://sanjeevhimachali.blogspot.com/ )
From India, Mumbai
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A very touchy issue, but nevertheless true. It happens in the corporate world. A decade back, this was probably more prevalent in the manufacturing industry. IT too has now been affected. I have come across people blatantly using this route to move up the ladder. It is not only those in the lower rung of the ladder, but this practice has seeped into the higher echelons of the ladder too. People using this route flaunt it too and seem to see it as a success story, which in short is nothing but disgusting. People lacking skills use this route, and the sufferers are the hardworking, honest employees who, after putting in hard work, do not get their dues because of such people.
From India, Pune
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From India, Pune
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Hi,
A bold topic is brought into discussion.
Yes, I have heard many times, in fact, I have seen people asking diplomatically for a dinner or night out.
Maybe ten years back, I was quite inclined towards modeling. While on a photo shoot one day, I had an offer for a movie, in fact, a big banner, but he directly asked if I am flexible for these so-called dinners. I had no words to say. I was not bold enough to confront him at that time, left with no option, and eventually changed my career. Otherwise, I was ranked top 5 model at that time.
I still remember a female who was with me from the same studio, now in movies and very famous. I came to know that she accepted the deal and is successful now. I was shocked to know this because I know her as a very innocent belle from a small village whom I had spoken to many times.
In fact, there is one in my friend circle who is a fashion designer, has won Filmfare awards multiple times, and is very famous. He is known to be a womanizer and a strict businessman. He offered me an opportunity for a saree advertisement, but later, in the eleventh hour, he gave it to someone else, as she seemed more broadminded and open-minded.
The funny part is I saw him one day in the mall recently, and he started making blank calls to me. One day, I confronted him and asked what he wanted. He spoke disrespectfully, even after knowing that I am married with a child. I was shocked at how someone could be so audacious. I slapped him in public, and he threatened me, claiming he is a big shot and can do anything. I paid no heed to his threats.
Surprisingly, I heard a similar situation from my friend, not in the fashion world but in an engineering college. A lecturer threatened my friend to accept him or he would fail her. She changed colleges and lost a year.
Okay, I think that's quite lengthy. There are many such instances, and I feel pity for those who lose everything to achieve something in life.
Sari
From India, Hyderabad
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A bold topic is brought into discussion.
Yes, I have heard many times, in fact, I have seen people asking diplomatically for a dinner or night out.
Maybe ten years back, I was quite inclined towards modeling. While on a photo shoot one day, I had an offer for a movie, in fact, a big banner, but he directly asked if I am flexible for these so-called dinners. I had no words to say. I was not bold enough to confront him at that time, left with no option, and eventually changed my career. Otherwise, I was ranked top 5 model at that time.
I still remember a female who was with me from the same studio, now in movies and very famous. I came to know that she accepted the deal and is successful now. I was shocked to know this because I know her as a very innocent belle from a small village whom I had spoken to many times.
In fact, there is one in my friend circle who is a fashion designer, has won Filmfare awards multiple times, and is very famous. He is known to be a womanizer and a strict businessman. He offered me an opportunity for a saree advertisement, but later, in the eleventh hour, he gave it to someone else, as she seemed more broadminded and open-minded.
The funny part is I saw him one day in the mall recently, and he started making blank calls to me. One day, I confronted him and asked what he wanted. He spoke disrespectfully, even after knowing that I am married with a child. I was shocked at how someone could be so audacious. I slapped him in public, and he threatened me, claiming he is a big shot and can do anything. I paid no heed to his threats.
Surprisingly, I heard a similar situation from my friend, not in the fashion world but in an engineering college. A lecturer threatened my friend to accept him or he would fail her. She changed colleges and lost a year.
Okay, I think that's quite lengthy. There are many such instances, and I feel pity for those who lose everything to achieve something in life.
Sari
From India, Hyderabad
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Dear Richa and Sari,
Thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts. We all know that such "favors" and "Give-Take" deals happen in the entertainment and media industries. But even in the "structured" corporate world, such "favors" are on the rise. If you think in a proper and logical manner... one such deal can give you one inefficient manager (thereby a team of unhappy members), a couple of unhappy and frustrated deserving employees who are looking for a change, and thereby an increase in the attrition rate. Not only that, because of one such "deal," you will lose your key and important employees.
Regards,
Sanjeev Sharma
(E-mail: sanjeev.himachali@gmail.com)
From India, Mumbai
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Thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts. We all know that such "favors" and "Give-Take" deals happen in the entertainment and media industries. But even in the "structured" corporate world, such "favors" are on the rise. If you think in a proper and logical manner... one such deal can give you one inefficient manager (thereby a team of unhappy members), a couple of unhappy and frustrated deserving employees who are looking for a change, and thereby an increase in the attrition rate. Not only that, because of one such "deal," you will lose your key and important employees.
Regards,
Sanjeev Sharma
(E-mail: sanjeev.himachali@gmail.com)
From India, Mumbai
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Hi Sanjeev,
A very bold topic indeed, but it is true whether we want to acknowledge it or not. Fortunately, I have personally never faced it to these limits, but trust me 'sleeping around' has become the norm of the day. Unlike popular belief that it happens in hi-fi corporate sectors and in metro cities, the fact is it happens everywhere, and I personally feel that females/males who are not so confident about their skills and qualities are a major party to it since it's an easy way out. I agree that at times there may be a trap, but most often such things happen with mutual consent. Let's grow up and not blame it totally on womanizers...females who agree to compromise are equally responsible.
Hats off to Sari...she knew her mind and was not ready to relent and took an alternative. But the girl who compromised is more 'successful' in that industry today...so again it's a matter of personal priorities and values.
But the fact is it does happen and is very much a part and parcel of the place where we all are working...however the choice is ours.
Rolly
From India, New Delhi
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A very bold topic indeed, but it is true whether we want to acknowledge it or not. Fortunately, I have personally never faced it to these limits, but trust me 'sleeping around' has become the norm of the day. Unlike popular belief that it happens in hi-fi corporate sectors and in metro cities, the fact is it happens everywhere, and I personally feel that females/males who are not so confident about their skills and qualities are a major party to it since it's an easy way out. I agree that at times there may be a trap, but most often such things happen with mutual consent. Let's grow up and not blame it totally on womanizers...females who agree to compromise are equally responsible.
Hats off to Sari...she knew her mind and was not ready to relent and took an alternative. But the girl who compromised is more 'successful' in that industry today...so again it's a matter of personal priorities and values.
But the fact is it does happen and is very much a part and parcel of the place where we all are working...however the choice is ours.
Rolly
From India, New Delhi
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Hello friends,
This is a very pertinent issue and indeed true. It varies from person to person, and perhaps I am one of those who don't feel it is bad. The fundamental principle is simple - just give and take, and this practice has continued since ancient times.
Though it hasn't happened to me yet, I would like to experience it, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Goodbye,
SSEHGAL
From India, Mumbai
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This is a very pertinent issue and indeed true. It varies from person to person, and perhaps I am one of those who don't feel it is bad. The fundamental principle is simple - just give and take, and this practice has continued since ancient times.
Though it hasn't happened to me yet, I would like to experience it, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Goodbye,
SSEHGAL
From India, Mumbai
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It is not only females who receive such advances from male bosses. These days, even males also get such advances and proposals from female bosses and female candidates. I remember, I was interviewing one lady and at the end of the interview, when I said that I will be making the final list by the end of the day, she said, "Sir, give me this job and I will give you anything that you will ask for." She was a good candidate; she could have gotten the job without making such an offer. However, we decided not to select her, and she lost an opportunity.
In big corporate houses, it is very common that female bosses ask their male subordinates for "such favors," particularly at the time of appraisals.
Regards,
Sanjeev
From India, Mumbai
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In big corporate houses, it is very common that female bosses ask their male subordinates for "such favors," particularly at the time of appraisals.
Regards,
Sanjeev
From India, Mumbai
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Dear ssehgal,
You might not feel it's bad, but that does not mean it is right. What logic do you give to this? Should skills and qualifications be the right criteria, or should the extent of compromise decide whether you get the job/promotion? Plus, it also leaves many deserving candidates out because they are not ready to relent. It's not about give and take; it's a compromise by both parties with responsibilities and ethics respectively.
Rolly
From India, New Delhi
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You might not feel it's bad, but that does not mean it is right. What logic do you give to this? Should skills and qualifications be the right criteria, or should the extent of compromise decide whether you get the job/promotion? Plus, it also leaves many deserving candidates out because they are not ready to relent. It's not about give and take; it's a compromise by both parties with responsibilities and ethics respectively.
Rolly
From India, New Delhi
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Hi Sanjeev,
The topic is bold and touchy. In fact, these days we have seen such instances in the corporate world. But if you are true, determined, and value life and work, you will win one day. Maybe the road is long to drive, but you will surely win.
Sometimes we may feel that the other way (Sex and Buttering) is a shortcut to success and money. Our karma will be with us.
Gauri
From India, Delhi
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The topic is bold and touchy. In fact, these days we have seen such instances in the corporate world. But if you are true, determined, and value life and work, you will win one day. Maybe the road is long to drive, but you will surely win.
Sometimes we may feel that the other way (Sex and Buttering) is a shortcut to success and money. Our karma will be with us.
Gauri
From India, Delhi
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Dear Rolly,
I never meant to engage in a sexual relationship with your boss or employee for promotions or to secure a job. I prefer to approach this matter in a way that does not compromise professional ethics. It should remain entirely personal and not interfere with our professional relationships.
Goodbye,
SSEHGAL
From India, Mumbai
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I never meant to engage in a sexual relationship with your boss or employee for promotions or to secure a job. I prefer to approach this matter in a way that does not compromise professional ethics. It should remain entirely personal and not interfere with our professional relationships.
Goodbye,
SSEHGAL
From India, Mumbai
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Hi All Friends,
As per my opinion, this is all going to be there no matter how much we discuss. The only way we can try sorting it out is by observing how things are progressing in the world. Many times, as mentioned earlier by someone in the discussion, the ratio of such events occurring between males and females is almost the same.
Another important point is how you present yourself in front of others so that they do not dare to speak such nonsense in front of you.
Regards,
Ank
From India, Pune
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As per my opinion, this is all going to be there no matter how much we discuss. The only way we can try sorting it out is by observing how things are progressing in the world. Many times, as mentioned earlier by someone in the discussion, the ratio of such events occurring between males and females is almost the same.
Another important point is how you present yourself in front of others so that they do not dare to speak such nonsense in front of you.
Regards,
Ank
From India, Pune
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Ms. Sari,
I agree with you on the topic you discussed herewith. Undoubtedly, it happens in every workplace where both sexes are working. It'll be absolutely foolish to put the blame on one community (male) as a whole for such incidents. Clapping is not possible with one hand. But, admittedly, male communities at the workplace are 60-70% responsible for such incidents, and the remaining 30-40% responsibility must go to female workers/executives. Those (talking about female colleagues) are purely ambitious to reach the top of the ladder; they never hesitate to sacrifice their personality to get their dues or undues.
At present, there are so many Acts and Rules to check sexual abuse at the workplace, and even penal provisions are there to punish the culprits behind such incidents, but it remains on pen and paper. But my question is, "Can we be able to avoid such sexual activities/abuses at the workplace?" It all depends on someone's mentality. As you discussed, one of your friends jumped into the modeling world due to some undisclosed reasons, and she is now a celebrity figure. Once a celebrity status comes to you overnight, no mantras or tantras will prevent you from moving ahead, which is especially common in the media line, and now the same is seen at the office executive level. Such "Give & Take" (in terms of sex) policy definitely hampers the work culture of any establishment.
Finally, I would like to appreciate your views posted hereby, which reflect the clear picture. Thanks and best wishes to you.
With best regards,
[Biswajit Pani]
E-mail Id:
From India, Bhubaneswar
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I agree with you on the topic you discussed herewith. Undoubtedly, it happens in every workplace where both sexes are working. It'll be absolutely foolish to put the blame on one community (male) as a whole for such incidents. Clapping is not possible with one hand. But, admittedly, male communities at the workplace are 60-70% responsible for such incidents, and the remaining 30-40% responsibility must go to female workers/executives. Those (talking about female colleagues) are purely ambitious to reach the top of the ladder; they never hesitate to sacrifice their personality to get their dues or undues.
At present, there are so many Acts and Rules to check sexual abuse at the workplace, and even penal provisions are there to punish the culprits behind such incidents, but it remains on pen and paper. But my question is, "Can we be able to avoid such sexual activities/abuses at the workplace?" It all depends on someone's mentality. As you discussed, one of your friends jumped into the modeling world due to some undisclosed reasons, and she is now a celebrity figure. Once a celebrity status comes to you overnight, no mantras or tantras will prevent you from moving ahead, which is especially common in the media line, and now the same is seen at the office executive level. Such "Give & Take" (in terms of sex) policy definitely hampers the work culture of any establishment.
Finally, I would like to appreciate your views posted hereby, which reflect the clear picture. Thanks and best wishes to you.
With best regards,
[Biswajit Pani]
E-mail Id:
From India, Bhubaneswar
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Hi,
As Ms. Sari said, I also faced a similar kind of experience when I was working with a leading private sector bank as a Marketing Executive. The person to whom I was reporting was asking for a similar kind of dinner in return for giving me some good leads. He used to call me in the late night hours and would drag the conversation unnecessarily. Since it was my first job, I was not sure how to react to that situation.
Then, finally, one day I decided to say no to him directly and left the job. I never met him after that. Some of my other colleagues told me that this is very common and that if you want a promotion or good leads, you have to accept this behavior. Since I never wanted such kind of leads or promotion, I quit my job. Now, I'm happy with the decision that I made.
Regards,
Anu
From India, Madras
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As Ms. Sari said, I also faced a similar kind of experience when I was working with a leading private sector bank as a Marketing Executive. The person to whom I was reporting was asking for a similar kind of dinner in return for giving me some good leads. He used to call me in the late night hours and would drag the conversation unnecessarily. Since it was my first job, I was not sure how to react to that situation.
Then, finally, one day I decided to say no to him directly and left the job. I never met him after that. Some of my other colleagues told me that this is very common and that if you want a promotion or good leads, you have to accept this behavior. Since I never wanted such kind of leads or promotion, I quit my job. Now, I'm happy with the decision that I made.
Regards,
Anu
From India, Madras
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Hi All,
Aptly put by Sanjeev and others, "Give and Take" is the base of any relationship, more so on this topic! Skills, Competencies, and Abilities are all good criteria for selecting the best person. But then, as again perfectly mentioned by some - priorities in life define your actions.
The boss's priority is having a good time now, while the subordinate's priority is having a good time in the future. This is the end. What means you take to achieve your end is what defines what happens next - slap and sleep! We need to first think and then act and not the other way around.
Cheers,
K
From India, Madras
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Aptly put by Sanjeev and others, "Give and Take" is the base of any relationship, more so on this topic! Skills, Competencies, and Abilities are all good criteria for selecting the best person. But then, as again perfectly mentioned by some - priorities in life define your actions.
The boss's priority is having a good time now, while the subordinate's priority is having a good time in the future. This is the end. What means you take to achieve your end is what defines what happens next - slap and sleep! We need to first think and then act and not the other way around.
Cheers,
K
From India, Madras
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Hi to All,
The topic is bold and touchy. Few days back I saw a movie Corporate which gives you the clear picture of this bold topic.
Why to talk about movie, I have one example with me. One of my cousins faced this problem in her office only. Initially it was fine but one fine day her Boss proposed her and asked her for a night, she got shocked and moved out of his ROOM. Then he warn her not to tell anybody otherwise he will blame her She was always worried about her BOSS, because he generally asks after that Incident. So it not the matter of Men or Women ……. It’s just a matter of chance.
She says quite and left the Jobs, bze of him…..So this is both ways.
Well you can’t blame to females candidates who get such Offers, these days even gentleman also get such proposals from Women BOSSES.
Rdgs,
Rinky
From India, Lucknow
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The topic is bold and touchy. Few days back I saw a movie Corporate which gives you the clear picture of this bold topic.
Why to talk about movie, I have one example with me. One of my cousins faced this problem in her office only. Initially it was fine but one fine day her Boss proposed her and asked her for a night, she got shocked and moved out of his ROOM. Then he warn her not to tell anybody otherwise he will blame her She was always worried about her BOSS, because he generally asks after that Incident. So it not the matter of Men or Women ……. It’s just a matter of chance.
She says quite and left the Jobs, bze of him…..So this is both ways.
Well you can’t blame to females candidates who get such Offers, these days even gentleman also get such proposals from Women BOSSES.
Rdgs,
Rinky
From India, Lucknow
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It is heartening to note that topics that were earlier considered taboo for discussion in public fora are being openly discussed everywhere now. I personally do not believe that using sex as a tool for career advancement, or even as a means of workplace stress buster, is a new phenomenon. But has it become more prevalent now than before? A moot question indeed!
One school of thought is that if your boss is a sucker who has no qualms about seeking sexual favors from junior colleagues and giving privileges in return, and nobody gets hurt in the bargain, why not! After all, the world that we live in has become more permissive than ever now.
But what if the undue 'favor' results in somebody more deserving being denied a rightful promotion or raise? What if either or both parties are married, and as always, the female employee involved gets branded as a home wrecker (I am not insinuating that the boss is always male)? Even if we ignore the moral issues involved, we cannot ignore the possibility of careers, along with personal lives, getting ruined because of such unholy alliances, instead of it taking one places.
But then not many seem to care about the undesirable consequences. And such affairs continue to flourish in many offices. Unfortunately, you don't find many raising their voices against them either, despite there being several laws against workplace sexual harassment. Probably because 'the' boss who is one of the parties involved most of the time!
From India, Mumbai
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One school of thought is that if your boss is a sucker who has no qualms about seeking sexual favors from junior colleagues and giving privileges in return, and nobody gets hurt in the bargain, why not! After all, the world that we live in has become more permissive than ever now.
But what if the undue 'favor' results in somebody more deserving being denied a rightful promotion or raise? What if either or both parties are married, and as always, the female employee involved gets branded as a home wrecker (I am not insinuating that the boss is always male)? Even if we ignore the moral issues involved, we cannot ignore the possibility of careers, along with personal lives, getting ruined because of such unholy alliances, instead of it taking one places.
But then not many seem to care about the undesirable consequences. And such affairs continue to flourish in many offices. Unfortunately, you don't find many raising their voices against them either, despite there being several laws against workplace sexual harassment. Probably because 'the' boss who is one of the parties involved most of the time!
From India, Mumbai
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Dear All,
It is not just a topic to talk about, but it is a situation faced by many and will be faced by many. Many of us believe that it is just like a 'give & take' type policy, but just imagine, can you sell out your feelings? No way. It is like selling yourself for some bucks. One should protest firmly in such matters and keep in mind that such kind of battles should be fought individually and have to be initiated from yourself. No one will come to support you for the first time, but as you proceed further, the whole world will follow you AS YOU ARE LEADING TO THE RIGHT WAY. I hope that those who take it as 'give and take' policy will understand me. If I have hurt anybody in any manner, kindly pardon me. I just posted my belief.
Thanks.
Note: For the above topic, "sex" is the proper word, but kindly use the word 'Gender' instead of 'Sex' for gender discrimination in forms. It will give the proper word to the next generation.
From India, Valsad
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It is not just a topic to talk about, but it is a situation faced by many and will be faced by many. Many of us believe that it is just like a 'give & take' type policy, but just imagine, can you sell out your feelings? No way. It is like selling yourself for some bucks. One should protest firmly in such matters and keep in mind that such kind of battles should be fought individually and have to be initiated from yourself. No one will come to support you for the first time, but as you proceed further, the whole world will follow you AS YOU ARE LEADING TO THE RIGHT WAY. I hope that those who take it as 'give and take' policy will understand me. If I have hurt anybody in any manner, kindly pardon me. I just posted my belief.
Thanks.
Note: For the above topic, "sex" is the proper word, but kindly use the word 'Gender' instead of 'Sex' for gender discrimination in forms. It will give the proper word to the next generation.
From India, Valsad
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Considering all incidents and examples shared by readers, how can you define "Sexual Harassment" and/or "Sexual Abuse" at the workplace? Or how can you make use of the benefits of various legal acts and procedures?
To me, sexual harassment or sexual abuse is nothing but a "failed deal," "unkept promises," "unfulfilled commitment." Let me explain.
A boss and subordinate and/or Big-Customer and Service Provider (Sales Executive) enter into a deal, and unfortunately, they are of opposite genders. They enter into a deal/contract that, in lieu of "entertainment after dinner," one will give X to Y. It can be a promotion, a job, a big contract, an onsite project, etc.
After that "entertainment," the other party fails to keep its words, promises, and commitments. And it is only then that the "Abused Party" will go to court or to the public, saying that he/she has been Sexually Harassed/Sexually Abused.
This is not true all the time, but this is true most of the time.
Do think about it.
Regards,
Sanjeev Himachali
From India, Mumbai
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To me, sexual harassment or sexual abuse is nothing but a "failed deal," "unkept promises," "unfulfilled commitment." Let me explain.
A boss and subordinate and/or Big-Customer and Service Provider (Sales Executive) enter into a deal, and unfortunately, they are of opposite genders. They enter into a deal/contract that, in lieu of "entertainment after dinner," one will give X to Y. It can be a promotion, a job, a big contract, an onsite project, etc.
After that "entertainment," the other party fails to keep its words, promises, and commitments. And it is only then that the "Abused Party" will go to court or to the public, saying that he/she has been Sexually Harassed/Sexually Abused.
This is not true all the time, but this is true most of the time.
Do think about it.
Regards,
Sanjeev Himachali
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Sanjeev,
A bold topic in discussion. Yes, you are right., once upon a time that principle was applied in the media and other relevant industries….
I have seen such situations in the manufacturing industries…… But being in such a big structured and decent corporate environments also, people are choosing this way is really bad culture. These situations are resulting in taking incompetent people and inefficient candidates for the work spots and losing the right candidate at the right person at the right place.
Ultimately corporates are effecting a lot and competent and honest people who are very sincere at work and decent in all respects…. But friends, as Rolly says, it is not the responsibility of one either men or women., both are equally responsible. and this is not only a situation to Sari or somebody else., nowadays, this type of behaviours are really effecting competent people from the other side… you may ask, how ? the main reason is, who are having these attachments, that superiors would simply divert the workload to the other person who don’t show much interest in this matter ultimately the other person is getting overloaded. They are left with no other option other than finding other alternative that means leaving the current job and joining in a new one.
This kind of environment has to be changed…
Sanjeev, what is your idea to control these situations at corporate level ? Corporates should focus their utmost attention to avoid such embarrassing situations at all levels.
Regards,
Prasad.
From India, Bangalore
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A bold topic in discussion. Yes, you are right., once upon a time that principle was applied in the media and other relevant industries….
I have seen such situations in the manufacturing industries…… But being in such a big structured and decent corporate environments also, people are choosing this way is really bad culture. These situations are resulting in taking incompetent people and inefficient candidates for the work spots and losing the right candidate at the right person at the right place.
Ultimately corporates are effecting a lot and competent and honest people who are very sincere at work and decent in all respects…. But friends, as Rolly says, it is not the responsibility of one either men or women., both are equally responsible. and this is not only a situation to Sari or somebody else., nowadays, this type of behaviours are really effecting competent people from the other side… you may ask, how ? the main reason is, who are having these attachments, that superiors would simply divert the workload to the other person who don’t show much interest in this matter ultimately the other person is getting overloaded. They are left with no other option other than finding other alternative that means leaving the current job and joining in a new one.
This kind of environment has to be changed…
Sanjeev, what is your idea to control these situations at corporate level ? Corporates should focus their utmost attention to avoid such embarrassing situations at all levels.
Regards,
Prasad.
From India, Bangalore
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Prasad,
I am so glad you asked this question, "What is your idea to control these situations at the corporate level?"
I was wondering what the purpose of this topic is since whatever has been discussed so far is nothing new or different from what is discussed in social forums for women's rights and other such places. It is nothing that we are unaware of. As I read through the original posts and various responses - I couldn't help but wonder, "What's the point of discussing something like this where very little concrete can be done?" There will be isolated pockets of resistance, but the rest of the world will continue the way it always has - simply because promotion, profits, and such-like stuff are labeled as growth.
I have no suggestions on this - other than a complete mindset change or to have completely programmable human beings - also the dream of those on a power trip (read as already in power). The mindset change calls for:
1) acceptance of self and others as humans
2) non-judgment of self and others
3) abandoning cravings for power, money, and position.
No wonder genetics has such fascination - it seems much easier in comparison with the above mindset change. 😈 😉 😂
Dunno if the forum would agree with me - and I would definitely love to read more suggestions as to how things can improve.
So Sanjeev, to repeat Prasad's question, "What is your suggestion?" - since you are the creator of this post. :)
Regards,
Ryan
From India, Mumbai
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I am so glad you asked this question, "What is your idea to control these situations at the corporate level?"
I was wondering what the purpose of this topic is since whatever has been discussed so far is nothing new or different from what is discussed in social forums for women's rights and other such places. It is nothing that we are unaware of. As I read through the original posts and various responses - I couldn't help but wonder, "What's the point of discussing something like this where very little concrete can be done?" There will be isolated pockets of resistance, but the rest of the world will continue the way it always has - simply because promotion, profits, and such-like stuff are labeled as growth.
I have no suggestions on this - other than a complete mindset change or to have completely programmable human beings - also the dream of those on a power trip (read as already in power). The mindset change calls for:
1) acceptance of self and others as humans
2) non-judgment of self and others
3) abandoning cravings for power, money, and position.
No wonder genetics has such fascination - it seems much easier in comparison with the above mindset change. 😈 😉 😂
Dunno if the forum would agree with me - and I would definitely love to read more suggestions as to how things can improve.
So Sanjeev, to repeat Prasad's question, "What is your suggestion?" - since you are the creator of this post. :)
Regards,
Ryan
From India, Mumbai
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Hi,
I totally agree with you. When a new HR Manager joins an all-male HR team, he feels restless since there are no female members. As a result, he may use his power to displace the existing members and then recruit female HR professionals. Unfortunately, senior management often overlooks how many candidates of each gender were interviewed. This oversight can lead to situations where male candidates are favored over equally qualified female candidates. The HR Managers/VP-HR then continue to operate in this biased manner.
Regards,
Vinay
9866254387
Hyderabad
From India, Hyderabad
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I totally agree with you. When a new HR Manager joins an all-male HR team, he feels restless since there are no female members. As a result, he may use his power to displace the existing members and then recruit female HR professionals. Unfortunately, senior management often overlooks how many candidates of each gender were interviewed. This oversight can lead to situations where male candidates are favored over equally qualified female candidates. The HR Managers/VP-HR then continue to operate in this biased manner.
Regards,
Vinay
9866254387
Hyderabad
From India, Hyderabad
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Yes, it happens. I am not so fortunate to have been asked by a woman for favors, much as I might secretly desire. Things have changed with the rapid and anarchic inegalitarian growth. Power is the key. At a certain level, sex is power and currency for success. Virginity and sex for fun are no longer sacrosanct. One cannot use old-fashioned values in a new paradigm. Value systems are the product of social realities and hence dynamic. Good or bad, therefore, is a matter of context. Morality is a mere byproduct.
Sex is like beauty, skill, talent, knowledge, or whatever. It is a core competency. HR professionals do not get scandalized.!!!
From India, New Delhi
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Sex is like beauty, skill, talent, knowledge, or whatever. It is a core competency. HR professionals do not get scandalized.!!!
From India, New Delhi
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Hi Sanjeev,
Interesting debate you've got there...
I have spent one and a half decades in the corporate world, but fortunately, I have come across very few instances of this kind. I guess it's not only the person offering sex who is to be blamed but also the one who accepts it in return for a few professional favors - referencing the instance mentioned about the candidate rejected for offering "whatever you want." It has become quite normal these days for people to be in live-in relationships, have premarital sex, and all this happening while in college! This has resulted in such offers becoming rampant in the industry, which is seen as an easy way to grow professionally. I wonder what happens to such employees when either their current boss changes or they move into a different organization... do they make the same kind of offers in the new context, too?
Regards,
Inder
From India, Mumbai
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Interesting debate you've got there...
I have spent one and a half decades in the corporate world, but fortunately, I have come across very few instances of this kind. I guess it's not only the person offering sex who is to be blamed but also the one who accepts it in return for a few professional favors - referencing the instance mentioned about the candidate rejected for offering "whatever you want." It has become quite normal these days for people to be in live-in relationships, have premarital sex, and all this happening while in college! This has resulted in such offers becoming rampant in the industry, which is seen as an easy way to grow professionally. I wonder what happens to such employees when either their current boss changes or they move into a different organization... do they make the same kind of offers in the new context, too?
Regards,
Inder
From India, Mumbai
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Hi friends,
Even sexual harassment has nowadays become common. If both parties are mutually concerned, it is not considered a big issue because they commonly call it a "personal" issue and close that chapter. However, when it comes to one party not liking or agreeing, it is classified as sexual harassment. Unfortunately, severe punishments are not given in any industry.
With regards,
G. Sharmila
(28/7/07)
From India, Madras
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Even sexual harassment has nowadays become common. If both parties are mutually concerned, it is not considered a big issue because they commonly call it a "personal" issue and close that chapter. However, when it comes to one party not liking or agreeing, it is classified as sexual harassment. Unfortunately, severe punishments are not given in any industry.
With regards,
G. Sharmila
(28/7/07)
From India, Madras
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Hello friends,
This is Hanuma, currently in my first year of engineering at Bapatla Engineering College in Bapatla, Andhra Pradesh.
I may be only 19 years old, but I also want to share my thoughts on this topic.
The topic discussed here is a crucial one, highlighting a common issue in modern society. Many individuals, driven by the desire to earn money through salaries and incentives, are willing to do whatever their organization's leader asks of them. Some even go as far as engaging in intimate activities with their superiors to achieve their goals.
Others use this as a strategy to secure employment, complying with the demands of higher officials or interviewers. While some may go unnoticed, they are ultimately compromising their integrity for financial gain or job opportunities.
Currently, India has dropped from the 2nd to the 3rd position globally in terms of the number of AIDS patients, marking a concerning trend in the spread of this dangerous disease in the modern era.
In today's IT, non-IT, and ITES-dominated world, there is a growing trend of individuals engaging in sexual activities at a young age. With easy access to explicit content through internet websites, DVDs, and CDs, young people are increasingly exposed to such information, making them more susceptible to manipulation by employers, even in multinational corporations.
Some bosses in MNCs are pressuring their subordinates to spend time with them during weekends and free time, often initiating inappropriate interactions through cellphone communications.
The prevalent use of the term "date" among approximately 60% of IT sector employees reflects the normalization of such behaviors in the workplace.
It is crucial to eradicate this practice as a determining factor in job security and salary increments. A person's worth should not be measured by their willingness to engage in such activities.
If individuals can secure employment simply by engaging in sexual activities during their leisure time, one may question the value of pursuing extensive education, investing in tuition fees, and dedicating time and effort to academic endeavors.
What do you all think?
Regards,
Hanuma...ever smiling (suryahanuma@gmail.com)
From India, Kakinada
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This is Hanuma, currently in my first year of engineering at Bapatla Engineering College in Bapatla, Andhra Pradesh.
I may be only 19 years old, but I also want to share my thoughts on this topic.
The topic discussed here is a crucial one, highlighting a common issue in modern society. Many individuals, driven by the desire to earn money through salaries and incentives, are willing to do whatever their organization's leader asks of them. Some even go as far as engaging in intimate activities with their superiors to achieve their goals.
Others use this as a strategy to secure employment, complying with the demands of higher officials or interviewers. While some may go unnoticed, they are ultimately compromising their integrity for financial gain or job opportunities.
Currently, India has dropped from the 2nd to the 3rd position globally in terms of the number of AIDS patients, marking a concerning trend in the spread of this dangerous disease in the modern era.
In today's IT, non-IT, and ITES-dominated world, there is a growing trend of individuals engaging in sexual activities at a young age. With easy access to explicit content through internet websites, DVDs, and CDs, young people are increasingly exposed to such information, making them more susceptible to manipulation by employers, even in multinational corporations.
Some bosses in MNCs are pressuring their subordinates to spend time with them during weekends and free time, often initiating inappropriate interactions through cellphone communications.
The prevalent use of the term "date" among approximately 60% of IT sector employees reflects the normalization of such behaviors in the workplace.
It is crucial to eradicate this practice as a determining factor in job security and salary increments. A person's worth should not be measured by their willingness to engage in such activities.
If individuals can secure employment simply by engaging in sexual activities during their leisure time, one may question the value of pursuing extensive education, investing in tuition fees, and dedicating time and effort to academic endeavors.
What do you all think?
Regards,
Hanuma...ever smiling (suryahanuma@gmail.com)
From India, Kakinada
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This mostly happens in BPOs where the girls themselves wear revealing clothes and entice their team leaders and managers. Consequently, they get promoted regardless of their English proficiency or communication skills, simply because they cater to the desires of their colleagues, managers, and team leaders. They continue to work in BPOs and dress as if they are professionals. This phenomenon is prevalent in nearly all BPO environments, where engaging in sexual activities at the office is common.
From India, Pune
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From India, Pune
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Dear Sanjeev
Quite a spear-pointed subject to discuss about but great that its been raised and absolutely true that it happens not even inside organizations but even in world external but directly related to the organization.
1) Have you heard about any such incident in your friend circle? Have not only heard but witnessed too. I started my career in HR with a telecom giant 7 years back and it had even perforated HR. There have been instances where so called dinner participants with VP - HR saw absorptions & promotions the very next day, that too over & above the budgeted manpower. I moved on to head a leading organization in financial sector, saw high attrition in female sales force. Reason - for a high bracket sale of financial product the need is to escort the clientele to a "dinner". Do this, the deal is closed, promotions happen at workplace. Dont do this, no business, no promotion.
2) Have you received such proposals from your bosses? Never had a female boss, hence no encounters to date.
3) Do you think it is ethical? It certainly is not, but the blunt truth is that it happens and happens without after thought of implications in enough workplaces in varied industries. Few raise this to the Sexual Harrassment Committees, rest of the best female staff with high self respect & values quitely leave and remaining few justify the means to the end.
4) If given a choice, will you walk the similar roads? (Recently we also discussed about “thinking through head and thinking through heart”) in this case, how will you think? Have encountered this bluntly in an interview, the lady very blatantly asked, "Why interview, wouldnt a date do the offer".
It must also be noted that, sex at workplace is not only a give & take one night stand but in some cases it takes the form of harassment too. Where the "plaint" is to implicate any male officer in to a tight spot.
Anyways its a route that some walk without hesitation and some choose to seperate from the organization.
regards
steney
From India, Kochi
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Quite a spear-pointed subject to discuss about but great that its been raised and absolutely true that it happens not even inside organizations but even in world external but directly related to the organization.
1) Have you heard about any such incident in your friend circle? Have not only heard but witnessed too. I started my career in HR with a telecom giant 7 years back and it had even perforated HR. There have been instances where so called dinner participants with VP - HR saw absorptions & promotions the very next day, that too over & above the budgeted manpower. I moved on to head a leading organization in financial sector, saw high attrition in female sales force. Reason - for a high bracket sale of financial product the need is to escort the clientele to a "dinner". Do this, the deal is closed, promotions happen at workplace. Dont do this, no business, no promotion.
2) Have you received such proposals from your bosses? Never had a female boss, hence no encounters to date.
3) Do you think it is ethical? It certainly is not, but the blunt truth is that it happens and happens without after thought of implications in enough workplaces in varied industries. Few raise this to the Sexual Harrassment Committees, rest of the best female staff with high self respect & values quitely leave and remaining few justify the means to the end.
4) If given a choice, will you walk the similar roads? (Recently we also discussed about “thinking through head and thinking through heart”) in this case, how will you think? Have encountered this bluntly in an interview, the lady very blatantly asked, "Why interview, wouldnt a date do the offer".
It must also be noted that, sex at workplace is not only a give & take one night stand but in some cases it takes the form of harassment too. Where the "plaint" is to implicate any male officer in to a tight spot.
Anyways its a route that some walk without hesitation and some choose to seperate from the organization.
regards
steney
From India, Kochi
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Hi all,
I personally feel that some people start marching on this road to achieve instant growth. However, they are very few. They know that they cannot survive in today's cut-throat competition with quality people. So, they prefer this shortcut method.
Also, we must agree that there may be very few people who don't have any other option but to go this way only, but that can be one of the excuses. The bottom line is, one who follows this path cannot last long. The one who will perform will survive.
Regards,
Mayuresh
From India, Pune
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I personally feel that some people start marching on this road to achieve instant growth. However, they are very few. They know that they cannot survive in today's cut-throat competition with quality people. So, they prefer this shortcut method.
Also, we must agree that there may be very few people who don't have any other option but to go this way only, but that can be one of the excuses. The bottom line is, one who follows this path cannot last long. The one who will perform will survive.
Regards,
Mayuresh
From India, Pune
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Hi HR Gems,
Well, interesting topic but nevertheless, I don't see these things happening nowadays. But yes, of course, it was there 10 years back as one of our HR colleagues was stating. It's totally dependent on the individual how they think and the way they want to grow. I am sure there will not be stability in their growth as this new era has a lot of competition. We know the timeline they can lead to.
Of course, this is not professionalism, whether someone is asking about the weekend or the three-letter word which is so popular these days. In a traditional country like India, we are losing its value day by day by adopting Western culture.
Anyway, to my knowledge, I don't feel this is a best practice. Even if someone is going this way, it will not be sustainable in the long run.
"Live life with what you achieve on your own."
Thanks,
Mirza
From Saudi Arabia, Jiddah
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Well, interesting topic but nevertheless, I don't see these things happening nowadays. But yes, of course, it was there 10 years back as one of our HR colleagues was stating. It's totally dependent on the individual how they think and the way they want to grow. I am sure there will not be stability in their growth as this new era has a lot of competition. We know the timeline they can lead to.
Of course, this is not professionalism, whether someone is asking about the weekend or the three-letter word which is so popular these days. In a traditional country like India, we are losing its value day by day by adopting Western culture.
Anyway, to my knowledge, I don't feel this is a best practice. Even if someone is going this way, it will not be sustainable in the long run.
"Live life with what you achieve on your own."
Thanks,
Mirza
From Saudi Arabia, Jiddah
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Dear Sanjeev,
This topic is bold to discuss. Yes, I have the same experience that people using sex for climbing the corporate ladder.
I have gone through one of the situations in my company where I am working as HR. Even I had shared the case with Citehr members before.
A trainee, a girl of around 22 years of age, joined my company, and as soon as she joined, she just tied with one of her team leaders and slept with him every Saturday. She was under the concept that her team leader could recommend her for better positions in the company. She had completed her B. Tech with 6 back papers, and she had a fear if the HR would ask for certificates. Her team lead assured her that he would convince the HR not to ask for certificates as the HR is one of his best friends, which was a lie. She managed to convince and directly used her sex. When it was known, we fired the team lead for his involvement in such activities with office colleagues. Now, when she found her team leader no longer in the company to become her advocate, she searched for another team leader who is a bit powerful, and management listens to his words. These days she is sleeping with him so that he can manage to keep her in the company as he has a good reputation with management.
Going a bit deep into her practice of using sex, one of the resources informed us that this girl even used her sex with her senior classmates and friends to get some help in studies, preparing project papers, etc., while she was in college.
Sanjeev, tell me what you can do in this type of situation. It's not an issue only in the corporate world, where a girl of 19-20 years of age uses her sex to get help in her studies. How can you tell that this is only an issue in the corporate world? A girl of 22 years of age just using her sex to climb the corporate ladder. What will we HR persons do in this case? The answer is obvious - a big nothing to do.
I have encountered many cases during my 6 years of professional career with Human Resources. Sleeping around, as told by one of our HR friends, is just the funda here.
Thanks,
Dev
From India, Gurgaon
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This topic is bold to discuss. Yes, I have the same experience that people using sex for climbing the corporate ladder.
I have gone through one of the situations in my company where I am working as HR. Even I had shared the case with Citehr members before.
A trainee, a girl of around 22 years of age, joined my company, and as soon as she joined, she just tied with one of her team leaders and slept with him every Saturday. She was under the concept that her team leader could recommend her for better positions in the company. She had completed her B. Tech with 6 back papers, and she had a fear if the HR would ask for certificates. Her team lead assured her that he would convince the HR not to ask for certificates as the HR is one of his best friends, which was a lie. She managed to convince and directly used her sex. When it was known, we fired the team lead for his involvement in such activities with office colleagues. Now, when she found her team leader no longer in the company to become her advocate, she searched for another team leader who is a bit powerful, and management listens to his words. These days she is sleeping with him so that he can manage to keep her in the company as he has a good reputation with management.
Going a bit deep into her practice of using sex, one of the resources informed us that this girl even used her sex with her senior classmates and friends to get some help in studies, preparing project papers, etc., while she was in college.
Sanjeev, tell me what you can do in this type of situation. It's not an issue only in the corporate world, where a girl of 19-20 years of age uses her sex to get help in her studies. How can you tell that this is only an issue in the corporate world? A girl of 22 years of age just using her sex to climb the corporate ladder. What will we HR persons do in this case? The answer is obvious - a big nothing to do.
I have encountered many cases during my 6 years of professional career with Human Resources. Sleeping around, as told by one of our HR friends, is just the funda here.
Thanks,
Dev
From India, Gurgaon
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Dear Rolly,
I strongly agree with your statement, "Should skills and qualifications be the right criteria, but not the extent of compromise should decide whether you get the job/promotion?" And yes, it also leaves many deserving candidates out because they are not ready to relent. It really goes against ethics, and no doubt it causes harm to the organization somewhere. Because computers or machines cannot make a business successful, it's the people who can make a business successful. If the people will be involved in such activities and as Sehgal said, it's just give and take, so how can we ensure growth where sex is just something to be used, and we left actual talents because they were not ready for sexual favors so they never got promoted or they never got the job. I think the concept of using sex should be rooted out where organizational ethics and business goals and visions are concerned. HR persons should not tolerate such types of activities.
Thanks,
Dev
From India, Gurgaon
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I strongly agree with your statement, "Should skills and qualifications be the right criteria, but not the extent of compromise should decide whether you get the job/promotion?" And yes, it also leaves many deserving candidates out because they are not ready to relent. It really goes against ethics, and no doubt it causes harm to the organization somewhere. Because computers or machines cannot make a business successful, it's the people who can make a business successful. If the people will be involved in such activities and as Sehgal said, it's just give and take, so how can we ensure growth where sex is just something to be used, and we left actual talents because they were not ready for sexual favors so they never got promoted or they never got the job. I think the concept of using sex should be rooted out where organizational ethics and business goals and visions are concerned. HR persons should not tolerate such types of activities.
Thanks,
Dev
From India, Gurgaon
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Dear Sanjiv,
It's really a pity that today noble professions are linked with subjects like 'Sex'. What I feel is that a very unhealthy competition is going on between Corporates and Employees themselves. Everyone wants to get rich overnight, and the results and consequences are evident. None of the employees are satisfied because they are not getting what they are looking for, or those who are putting their best efforts are not paid enough attention for their sincerity. What I believe is self-respect is above all aspects of money and high-flying lifestyles. One should be confident enough to make their decisions and lead a life of simplicity. After all, life is all about living in a smart way.
From India, Vadodara
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It's really a pity that today noble professions are linked with subjects like 'Sex'. What I feel is that a very unhealthy competition is going on between Corporates and Employees themselves. Everyone wants to get rich overnight, and the results and consequences are evident. None of the employees are satisfied because they are not getting what they are looking for, or those who are putting their best efforts are not paid enough attention for their sincerity. What I believe is self-respect is above all aspects of money and high-flying lifestyles. One should be confident enough to make their decisions and lead a life of simplicity. After all, life is all about living in a smart way.
From India, Vadodara
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Dear Sanjeev,
Very touchy subject. But I felt this is something to be raised in a different forum - not here. Because, generally, these types of questions do not generate a honest reply - you may tend to get fanciful and cooked up reply. I know many news magazines where they have pages marked only for such topics, question and answers sessions. You will realise it yourself from the comments or posts.
Working here in the Middle East currently and having been worked abroad through out for a considerable amount of time, I feel no professional will mix sex and work. Personally speaking I will reply to your questions as follows:
Now, the questions are:
1) Have you heard about any such incident in your friend circle?
No and Yes. But it dependents on case by case basis and in all instance I have seen the professional values being killed and the person(s) losing out finally either the job or moving out to different places.
2) Have you received such proposals from your bosses?
By the grace of God, so far no. I have worked with women bosses and all the time, it has been professional only. Although one time, I had to work with a women boss who was really troubled at home with her husband - arab culture having two or three wives. But she showed true professionalism and never mixed work and personal life.
3) Do you think it is ethical?
Not at all. We are not animals. We value relationships.
4) If given a choice, will you walk the similar roads? (Recently we also discussed about “thinking through head and thinking through heart”) in this case, how will you think?
Not at all. The answer for Q3 will suffice my thinking.
Best regards,
Ramesh Menon
www.team1dubai.blogspot.com
From United Arab Emirates, Abu Dhabi
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Very touchy subject. But I felt this is something to be raised in a different forum - not here. Because, generally, these types of questions do not generate a honest reply - you may tend to get fanciful and cooked up reply. I know many news magazines where they have pages marked only for such topics, question and answers sessions. You will realise it yourself from the comments or posts.
Working here in the Middle East currently and having been worked abroad through out for a considerable amount of time, I feel no professional will mix sex and work. Personally speaking I will reply to your questions as follows:
Now, the questions are:
1) Have you heard about any such incident in your friend circle?
No and Yes. But it dependents on case by case basis and in all instance I have seen the professional values being killed and the person(s) losing out finally either the job or moving out to different places.
2) Have you received such proposals from your bosses?
By the grace of God, so far no. I have worked with women bosses and all the time, it has been professional only. Although one time, I had to work with a women boss who was really troubled at home with her husband - arab culture having two or three wives. But she showed true professionalism and never mixed work and personal life.
3) Do you think it is ethical?
Not at all. We are not animals. We value relationships.
4) If given a choice, will you walk the similar roads? (Recently we also discussed about “thinking through head and thinking through heart”) in this case, how will you think?
Not at all. The answer for Q3 will suffice my thinking.
Best regards,
Ramesh Menon
www.team1dubai.blogspot.com
From United Arab Emirates, Abu Dhabi
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Dear Friends,
This is true and it is happening in organizations and elsewhere. People use their position and power to get what they want. My boss behaves differently towards males and females. For the same task, if it is not done by males, he shouts and also warns them that they will be thrown out if they don't perform. Whereas for females, he is always polite and caring. When a male manager reports to him that his female subordinates are not performing, my boss never takes it seriously but instead finds mistakes with the manager and asks him to improve his managerial skills.
A couple of female staff have informed me about his actions as well; trying to hold their shoulders, touching them as if it is necessary while crossing paths are a few of his actions. On top of this, he used to discuss with female staff about the lifestyle of Europe and ask them why they don't adopt it.
The compulsion to work has made us boldless, whether male or female.
Regards,
Varsh
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This is true and it is happening in organizations and elsewhere. People use their position and power to get what they want. My boss behaves differently towards males and females. For the same task, if it is not done by males, he shouts and also warns them that they will be thrown out if they don't perform. Whereas for females, he is always polite and caring. When a male manager reports to him that his female subordinates are not performing, my boss never takes it seriously but instead finds mistakes with the manager and asks him to improve his managerial skills.
A couple of female staff have informed me about his actions as well; trying to hold their shoulders, touching them as if it is necessary while crossing paths are a few of his actions. On top of this, he used to discuss with female staff about the lifestyle of Europe and ask them why they don't adopt it.
The compulsion to work has made us boldless, whether male or female.
Regards,
Varsh
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Ethics depend on several factors like religion, society, personal beliefs, and experiences, etc.
Every person is responsible for the outcomes of whatever choices one makes during this life. People make careers in various fields such as banking, archaeology, dictatorship, murder, etc.
There are several age-old customs like sati, child marriage, polygamy, which may have had societal sanction in ancient times but are now considered invalid.
Do you know how purdah came into existence?
In earlier times, the police and judicial system was practically nonexistent. Much before Babur came to India, women used to apply "multani mitti" on their faces for sun protection and to ward off lecherous individuals.
I was once watching a program on indigenous tribes in China. One of the tribes had a bizarre ritual during an annual festival: for 2-3 days, one could cohabit with whomever of the opposite sex, provided the other person was willing.
To this date, due to this custom, there have been zero instances of female harassment, rapes, or molestation in this tribe.
Neither males nor females elope against societal wishes to marry their beloved. The society does not frown upon ex-lovers continuing their relationships even after marriage.
Surya
From India, Delhi
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Every person is responsible for the outcomes of whatever choices one makes during this life. People make careers in various fields such as banking, archaeology, dictatorship, murder, etc.
There are several age-old customs like sati, child marriage, polygamy, which may have had societal sanction in ancient times but are now considered invalid.
Do you know how purdah came into existence?
In earlier times, the police and judicial system was practically nonexistent. Much before Babur came to India, women used to apply "multani mitti" on their faces for sun protection and to ward off lecherous individuals.
I was once watching a program on indigenous tribes in China. One of the tribes had a bizarre ritual during an annual festival: for 2-3 days, one could cohabit with whomever of the opposite sex, provided the other person was willing.
To this date, due to this custom, there have been zero instances of female harassment, rapes, or molestation in this tribe.
Neither males nor females elope against societal wishes to marry their beloved. The society does not frown upon ex-lovers continuing their relationships even after marriage.
Surya
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)Dear All
Thanks a lot for sharing your views, ideas and experiences. Let me give my concluding remarks.
Nothing comes free, which means there is a cost for anything and everything that you do in your life…that you want to achieve. You pay a cost to come first I the class. Once you become known and famous, again you pay the cost to be known. Hence, there is a price tag attached with everything. Sometimes back, somewhere I said that in today’s world… “Everything can be sold and everything can be bought”; you need to go to right place and right market to get what you want.
Coming to our present discussion, “Making Sexual Offers at workplace to get jobs, promotions and exponential salary hikes”…it is a virus and it has already fixed its roots…just like corruption. As it has already been discussed, it is not only females who get such offers…or who enter into give-take deal…males is equally venerable. Then not everybody get such offers (Only few extraordinarily good looking people and looking good is not a crime). All those who get such offers…not all of accept such offers but as they say “ek machli purey talab ko ganda kar deti hai”.
Is this right or wrong? Well, it is more or less an issue of personal values, principles and ethics. I remember there was one lady executive at HDFC Standard Life…must be around 25…she was selling insurance policies…and at that time…she met one big Business Manager. She was able to convince him to get one insurance policy from him. He said, “I will get one policy for an annual premium of Rs. 25 Lakhs. Once you submit my papers in your office…you will easily get Rs. Close to 625,000/- lakh as your commission. In a sense, you will be earning 625,000/- from me…what will I get. Why don’t you spend this weekend with me? And then on Monday, I will give you the cheque”.
You all can guess, what would have happened after that.
There is another incident…where a female boss (who was around 35 years of age who had broken marriage) uses to sexually abuse and harass her male subordinate. No doubt that she was giving him all perks and benefits…all in terms of money, position etc but she never let this person get married. She never let this person resign from his job. She uses to threaten him for daring consequences for resigning. This all lead to tensions in the family; extra mental stress etc. It’s been four years and he is still leaving such life.
I really don’t know how those people after accepting such offers of “extended dinner”…look themselves into the mirror? They don’t feel ashamed on themselves?
What is the solution? Yes, there is a solution…but it can only limit the misuse of power and mixing sex with power. Have panel interviews and group “appraisal sessions”. If there is a panel of 3-5 people taking the interview or appraising the individual…that way, one need to strongly justify his point as why he wants to take X person and/or promote Y. Never let one individual in your organization become so powerful so as to misuse the power.
You have a great day and take care.
Stay in touch
Friends...I am working on one research study to this topic...I might use your views and opinions in that. Kindly, give me you e-mail ID's so that I can send you a copy of my work...
Sanjeev Himachali
(BLOG: http://sanjeevhimachali.blogspot.com/ and <link outdated-removed> )
From India, Mumbai
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This is a two-way beneficial situation for males (not all) in junior positions with female bosses as they may receive support. However, what about the females working under male egos? Here comes the matter of priorities and values that one has to decide for themselves.
Whatever their choice may be, at the end of the saga, they should not regret losing either career chances or their personality.
So, dear female colleagues, please look before you leap...
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Whatever their choice may be, at the end of the saga, they should not regret losing either career chances or their personality.
So, dear female colleagues, please look before you leap...
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Sex at the workplace is not the right thing. If people engage in such behavior, they definitely feel guilty after some time for their actions. Moreover, it will diminish the purity in human relations, especially in organizations.
- W.S.R
Michael Jackson
From India, Hyderabad
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- W.S.R
Michael Jackson
From India, Hyderabad
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Hello Sanjeev,
This topic is very hard for me to digest, but it's a fact that cannot be ignored or run away from. I consider myself very blessed that I have not come across it. Although I have heard about it many times, I strongly oppose it. It truly annoys and angers me. I often wonder, don't these people have any self-respect? Doesn't their self-consciousness bother them? Where is humanity heading? Where is the respect for each other as co-workers going? Honestly, where is the culture of India heading? It upsets me greatly to hear about such things.
Truly speaking, we must work on this and try to stop it whenever we encounter it, whether personally or otherwise. By engaging in such behaviors, we indirectly support and encourage them, ultimately spoiling our lives with our own hands.
While engaging in such actions may bring money, fame, and recognition, one loses themselves in the process. So, STOP THIS! BE HUMAN! MAINTAIN GOOD AND HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS AND RESPECT EVERYONE! BE PURE! HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE!
Best Regards,
Nisha
From India, Rajkot
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This topic is very hard for me to digest, but it's a fact that cannot be ignored or run away from. I consider myself very blessed that I have not come across it. Although I have heard about it many times, I strongly oppose it. It truly annoys and angers me. I often wonder, don't these people have any self-respect? Doesn't their self-consciousness bother them? Where is humanity heading? Where is the respect for each other as co-workers going? Honestly, where is the culture of India heading? It upsets me greatly to hear about such things.
Truly speaking, we must work on this and try to stop it whenever we encounter it, whether personally or otherwise. By engaging in such behaviors, we indirectly support and encourage them, ultimately spoiling our lives with our own hands.
While engaging in such actions may bring money, fame, and recognition, one loses themselves in the process. So, STOP THIS! BE HUMAN! MAINTAIN GOOD AND HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS AND RESPECT EVERYONE! BE PURE! HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE!
Best Regards,
Nisha
From India, Rajkot
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Hi,
It's a very good topic to discuss, but no one can tell you the fact as most people do this in different ways. Only having dinner or lunch with female or male bosses is okay, but even during office hours, mostly female or male bosses try to touch you, joke around, or send inappropriate messages. They might try to praise you or probe you for such things indirectly. However, it all depends on the situation.
Regards,
Santosh Ingh
From India, Mumbai
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It's a very good topic to discuss, but no one can tell you the fact as most people do this in different ways. Only having dinner or lunch with female or male bosses is okay, but even during office hours, mostly female or male bosses try to touch you, joke around, or send inappropriate messages. They might try to praise you or probe you for such things indirectly. However, it all depends on the situation.
Regards,
Santosh Ingh
From India, Mumbai
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Hi, I dare to post this topic in this forum. Really, true facts - nothing but, in my point of view, I hope using sex as their weapon, some can grow to an extent, but further, they can't top the ladder, and those can't be good in their life as they feel ashamed of themselves. Stop thinking and act on your intelligence, please.
But the gossips you hear in the office, school, colleges will not be true to 70%. I know this well because it is human psychology - what they anticipate and spread rumors simply. But many true incidents happen where 10 in one will be true.
Regards, Ramkishore
From India, Bangalore
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But the gossips you hear in the office, school, colleges will not be true to 70%. I know this well because it is human psychology - what they anticipate and spread rumors simply. But many true incidents happen where 10 in one will be true.
Regards, Ramkishore
From India, Bangalore
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Dear Sanjeev,
Thank you for posting such an issue. I would like to add some points to your questions list and also focus on a real incident that I faced last year.
First of all, I would like to give answers to your questions, and then I will raise some points regarding this serious issue in the corporate world.
1. Yes. (I have seen one of my best friends cum mentors involved in such unethical activities)
2. No
3. There are 2 cases. First, if a boss/employee builds their sexual relation outside of the office (workplace) and job promotion, money/salary package is not involved, THEN it's OK and Ethical (According to the Constitutional freedom right) BUT second, if sexual activities are taking place in the office (workplace), job promotion/money package is based on a sexual satisfaction relation, THEN it's completely WRONG and Unethical. (In 2005-2006, the supreme court has declared such activities as illegal and unethical when taken place at the WORKPLACE).
4. You will get my answer after reading the following.
I want to raise one strong point here...
"Very important, are there any strong laws in India to punish such wrong persons? And also, laws to support the person who has raised his/her voice against such unethical activity at the workplace?"
One person who is sitting on the company's CEO chair and taking off his clothes on that same chair (without thinking of his position responsibility) and to hide his such unethical activity, he made mischievous changes in the office CCTV system and put the office's security at risk. He was cheating in the company's accounts and spending money on his such bloody sexual activities with the office's Senior female employee. To promote her, the CEO is creating chaos and differences between other honest employees who are working dedicatedly for the company... Completely FRAUD CEO and a characterless person.
Giving you a simple incident example (it's real, I have evidence of this):
"That Senior female employee told the CEO, in the office everyone called me by my Name, and I don't like this. Can you please do something so that everyone will call me 'Ma'am/Madam'?"
Within just 45 minutes, the CEO called me and my other founder colleague and told us, I would like to pass one rule in our office. My colleague asked him, "Which?"
He told us, "To maintain a respectful environment in our office, all junior level employees will be called 'Sir' and 'Ma'am/Madam' to their Male and Female seniors respectively."
Do you know what happened in the end?
Because of our poor Indian laws, the police did not take any action against such a bastard person. (I apologize for my words.)
And the 2 guys who raised their voices against such unethical activities at the workspace had to leave the company. They did not have another choice. I DO NOT REGRET MY DECISION, BUT I AM DISAPPOINTED BY OUR LAWS. TO WORK WITH SUCH A PERSON IS BETTER THAN TO BE UNEMPLOYED.
Summary: Our Indian law is still poor in handling such cases. The Judiciary and police only consider Female's matters, even if she is involved in a crime or unethical activity.
From India, Surat
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Thank you for posting such an issue. I would like to add some points to your questions list and also focus on a real incident that I faced last year.
First of all, I would like to give answers to your questions, and then I will raise some points regarding this serious issue in the corporate world.
1. Yes. (I have seen one of my best friends cum mentors involved in such unethical activities)
2. No
3. There are 2 cases. First, if a boss/employee builds their sexual relation outside of the office (workplace) and job promotion, money/salary package is not involved, THEN it's OK and Ethical (According to the Constitutional freedom right) BUT second, if sexual activities are taking place in the office (workplace), job promotion/money package is based on a sexual satisfaction relation, THEN it's completely WRONG and Unethical. (In 2005-2006, the supreme court has declared such activities as illegal and unethical when taken place at the WORKPLACE).
4. You will get my answer after reading the following.
I want to raise one strong point here...
"Very important, are there any strong laws in India to punish such wrong persons? And also, laws to support the person who has raised his/her voice against such unethical activity at the workplace?"
One person who is sitting on the company's CEO chair and taking off his clothes on that same chair (without thinking of his position responsibility) and to hide his such unethical activity, he made mischievous changes in the office CCTV system and put the office's security at risk. He was cheating in the company's accounts and spending money on his such bloody sexual activities with the office's Senior female employee. To promote her, the CEO is creating chaos and differences between other honest employees who are working dedicatedly for the company... Completely FRAUD CEO and a characterless person.
Giving you a simple incident example (it's real, I have evidence of this):
"That Senior female employee told the CEO, in the office everyone called me by my Name, and I don't like this. Can you please do something so that everyone will call me 'Ma'am/Madam'?"
Within just 45 minutes, the CEO called me and my other founder colleague and told us, I would like to pass one rule in our office. My colleague asked him, "Which?"
He told us, "To maintain a respectful environment in our office, all junior level employees will be called 'Sir' and 'Ma'am/Madam' to their Male and Female seniors respectively."
Do you know what happened in the end?
Because of our poor Indian laws, the police did not take any action against such a bastard person. (I apologize for my words.)
And the 2 guys who raised their voices against such unethical activities at the workspace had to leave the company. They did not have another choice. I DO NOT REGRET MY DECISION, BUT I AM DISAPPOINTED BY OUR LAWS. TO WORK WITH SUCH A PERSON IS BETTER THAN TO BE UNEMPLOYED.
Summary: Our Indian law is still poor in handling such cases. The Judiciary and police only consider Female's matters, even if she is involved in a crime or unethical activity.
From India, Surat
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