Hi.
I am facing a new challenge these days in my current organization that there is a girl in my office where if she has any fight,misunderstanding,quarrel with other employees she just complaint about that person in one line that "he or she misbehaved with me" or "was using very hard tone",when i got involved in it I always reached the same page that it was not really that major issue which required my presence as well as some time i found both were same guilty.So how to handle this situation as she can learn to make good relation with others.I don't have any issue to get involve in it but it should have worth.
Sonia
From India, Delhi
3I am facing a new challenge these days in my current organization that there is a girl in my office where if she has any fight,misunderstanding,quarrel with other employees she just complaint about that person in one line that "he or she misbehaved with me" or "was using very hard tone",when i got involved in it I always reached the same page that it was not really that major issue which required my presence as well as some time i found both were same guilty.So how to handle this situation as she can learn to make good relation with others.I don't have any issue to get involve in it but it should have worth.
Sonia
From India, Delhi
Hi Sonia its good that you are having tendency to correct things after doing RCA of the issue, i am sure this will help to be a successful leader.
now as your problem is concern about the girl she might be having illness to raise voice to seniors what ever may be caused to become center of attraction or want to show her value/power in front of other employees. if it so then you have to take it very seriously to prevent wrong message to be interpreted by others. and stop her not to do so by counselling/ or roll play method.
on other hand all of her habits could be result of her childhood nurturing done by parents, so here it will take much time to make her understood if you have then by regularly you have to counsel her on business ethics, moral values and also help her to observe others behave and ask interpretation so that she also get to know the importance of behave.
and it can also be one of reason that she dont believe on others work and always have ? mark on everybody's dealing. cause behind this behave can be fear of loss of job bcz other are performing much. if so then you need to talk with her on positivity.
Note: before above all you have to take her in confidence that you are her friend and do not want to harm her.
Thanks:
From India, Pune
now as your problem is concern about the girl she might be having illness to raise voice to seniors what ever may be caused to become center of attraction or want to show her value/power in front of other employees. if it so then you have to take it very seriously to prevent wrong message to be interpreted by others. and stop her not to do so by counselling/ or roll play method.
on other hand all of her habits could be result of her childhood nurturing done by parents, so here it will take much time to make her understood if you have then by regularly you have to counsel her on business ethics, moral values and also help her to observe others behave and ask interpretation so that she also get to know the importance of behave.
and it can also be one of reason that she dont believe on others work and always have ? mark on everybody's dealing. cause behind this behave can be fear of loss of job bcz other are performing much. if so then you need to talk with her on positivity.
Note: before above all you have to take her in confidence that you are her friend and do not want to harm her.
Thanks:
From India, Pune
Call the girl to face disciplinary committee with majority female members [better if all the members are females]. Record the complete committee meeting on Video [A Laptop with Webcam placed on end of the meeting table should be able to capture the meeting and is perfectly legal way of recording a meeting]. If she is able to prove and substantiate her allegations than take appropriate action. If the allegations put by her are found to be false, terminate her and keep the recording of such meeting in safe place. This is essential, as girls who can put such serious false allegations may also approach media or court to defame the company. Such committee meeting under camera would help to prove that company had given fair trail to the employee.
From India, Ahmadabad
From India, Ahmadabad
Greetings,
I agree with Ajmal. Often, we find such people who play games. They are always the first one to escalate and complain about everything that is possible, just to prove their own innocence, efficiency and gain visibility.
When you were young, you must have come across those kids who used to play cricket/sport with you and the moment they were out of the game, they would go and lodge any kind of complaint to your parents , just to settle the score.
These behaviours continue with a lot of adult understanding and refinement.
Here 's my suggestions in addition to what Jagbir and Ajmal have pointed out:
Wish you all the best!
Regards.
(Cite Contribution)
From India, Mumbai
I agree with Ajmal. Often, we find such people who play games. They are always the first one to escalate and complain about everything that is possible, just to prove their own innocence, efficiency and gain visibility.
When you were young, you must have come across those kids who used to play cricket/sport with you and the moment they were out of the game, they would go and lodge any kind of complaint to your parents , just to settle the score.
These behaviours continue with a lot of adult understanding and refinement.
Here 's my suggestions in addition to what Jagbir and Ajmal have pointed out:
- When she complains, note the data not feeling or emotions, in your incident reporting.
- Make sure she understands this.
- Validate the data and arrive at a logical conclusion.
- Keep a neutral-third party approach to the entire incident handling.
- Provide constructive feedback to both the parties equally, after the entire exercise is over.
- If she is escalating without and logical reason, say it to her.
- Stay prepared for she would either escalate it beyond you, or she would collect the data , the way it is considered for the incident reporting.
- Once you have mitigated this by keeping your managers and her managers informed, her future actions would be curtailed at the early stage.
- Often when an individual is brought –up in an environment where complaints are prioritised. Raising an alarm is responded with attention, hence becomes a positive reinforcement. You need to understand and negate this. This is the behavior which later graduates into blame-games.
- She needs positive guidance. Find her a mentor within your organization who can reaffirm the faith on focussing on the positive behaviours for her.
- This comes with a warning, it would take a long time to show result. Worst, she would pretend and keep returning to her old behaviours.
- Remain watchful you will be learning a lot as you handle this. Observe the informal discussions of both the parties post your meeting. They should not be influencing others with their emotions and understanding towards the incident. Venting is human , but that should not fuel the grapevine and influence people.
Wish you all the best!
Regards.
(Cite Contribution)
From India, Mumbai
Dear Sonia..
Completely agree with the views of other Seniors...but i think a little differently at times....so here is what i have to say
Being a lady yourself you have an advantage of talking to her in a personal tone...
I totally believe in basic fundas to handle such situations and trust me it works in 90 percent cases...
Some times you do not require a hard core theory or analysis to a problem just a little smartness works.
Take her out for a cup of coffee and befriend her, take up these topics of her using such allegations on people. Give her an example of a lady who used to do the same and once when she really did face harassment at work place no one believed her. Do not relate this story to her's at all just do some plain talking.
And you will see the results in coming days.
All the best for taking an initiative in handling such situations generally people try to wash their hands of such things.
regards,
Archna
From India, Delhi
Completely agree with the views of other Seniors...but i think a little differently at times....so here is what i have to say
Being a lady yourself you have an advantage of talking to her in a personal tone...
I totally believe in basic fundas to handle such situations and trust me it works in 90 percent cases...
Some times you do not require a hard core theory or analysis to a problem just a little smartness works.
Take her out for a cup of coffee and befriend her, take up these topics of her using such allegations on people. Give her an example of a lady who used to do the same and once when she really did face harassment at work place no one believed her. Do not relate this story to her's at all just do some plain talking.
And you will see the results in coming days.
All the best for taking an initiative in handling such situations generally people try to wash their hands of such things.
regards,
Archna
From India, Delhi
hey sonia,
do let us know post result of the matter..
i will be learning exp for all of us as well bcz in human psychology every time we face a unique character..
wish you all the best..
regards:
Jagbir Dhull
From India, Pune
do let us know post result of the matter..
i will be learning exp for all of us as well bcz in human psychology every time we face a unique character..
wish you all the best..
regards:
Jagbir Dhull
From India, Pune
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