Dear Rolly,
I am strongly agree with your statement " Should skills and qualification be the right criteria, but not the extent of compromise should decide whether u get the job/ promotion? "And yes it also leaves many deserving candidate out because they are not ready to relent.
It really goes against ethics and no doubt it causes harm to the organisation somewhere.Because computers or machines can not make a business success, its the people who can make a business success. If the people will be involved in such activities and as Sehgal told it just give and take so how can we assure a growth where sex is just something to be used and we left actual talents because they were not ready for sexual favour so they never got promoted or they never got the job.I think the concept of using sex should be rooted out where organiasational ethics and business goals and visions are concerned .HR perosns should not tolerate such type of activities.
Thanks
Dev
From India, Gurgaon
2I am strongly agree with your statement " Should skills and qualification be the right criteria, but not the extent of compromise should decide whether u get the job/ promotion? "And yes it also leaves many deserving candidate out because they are not ready to relent.
It really goes against ethics and no doubt it causes harm to the organisation somewhere.Because computers or machines can not make a business success, its the people who can make a business success. If the people will be involved in such activities and as Sehgal told it just give and take so how can we assure a growth where sex is just something to be used and we left actual talents because they were not ready for sexual favour so they never got promoted or they never got the job.I think the concept of using sex should be rooted out where organiasational ethics and business goals and visions are concerned .HR perosns should not tolerate such type of activities.
Thanks
Dev
From India, Gurgaon
Dear Sanjiv,
Its really pity that today noble professions is linked with subject likes 'Sex', what I feel is that a very unhealthy competition is going between Corporates and Employees with itself. Everyone wants to richer within a night and results, consequences are in front of us. None of the employees are satisfied because he\she is not getting what they are looking for, or those who are putting there best efforts and not paid enough attention for their sincerity. But what I feel is self respect is above all aspects of money and high fy life styles. One should be confident enough to take his decision and lead the life in simplicity. After all life is all about to live in a smart way.
From India, Vadodara
Its really pity that today noble professions is linked with subject likes 'Sex', what I feel is that a very unhealthy competition is going between Corporates and Employees with itself. Everyone wants to richer within a night and results, consequences are in front of us. None of the employees are satisfied because he\she is not getting what they are looking for, or those who are putting there best efforts and not paid enough attention for their sincerity. But what I feel is self respect is above all aspects of money and high fy life styles. One should be confident enough to take his decision and lead the life in simplicity. After all life is all about to live in a smart way.
From India, Vadodara
Dear Sanjeev,
Very touchy subject. But I felt this is something to be raised in a different forum - not here. Because, generally, these types of questions do not generate a honest reply - you may tend to get fanciful and cooked up reply. I know many news magazines where they have pages marked only for such topics, question and answers sessions. You will realise it yourself from the comments or posts.
Working here in the Middle East currently and having been worked abroad through out for a considerable amount of time, I feel no professional will mix sex and work. Personally speaking I will reply to your questions as follows:
Now, the questions are:
1) Have you heard about any such incident in your friend circle?
No and Yes. But it dependents on case by case basis and in all instance I have seen the professional values being killed and the person(s) losing out finally either the job or moving out to different places.
2) Have you received such proposals from your bosses?
By the grace of God, so far no. I have worked with women bosses and all the time, it has been professional only. Although one time, I had to work with a women boss who was really troubled at home with her husband - arab culture having two or three wives. But she showed true professionalism and never mixed work and personal life.
3) Do you think it is ethical?
Not at all. We are not animals. We value relationships.
4) If given a choice, will you walk the similar roads? (Recently we also discussed about “thinking through head and thinking through heart”) in this case, how will you think?
Not at all. The answer for Q3 will suffice my thinking.
Best regards,
Ramesh Menon
www.team1dubai.blogspot.com
From United Arab Emirates, Abu Dhabi
Very touchy subject. But I felt this is something to be raised in a different forum - not here. Because, generally, these types of questions do not generate a honest reply - you may tend to get fanciful and cooked up reply. I know many news magazines where they have pages marked only for such topics, question and answers sessions. You will realise it yourself from the comments or posts.
Working here in the Middle East currently and having been worked abroad through out for a considerable amount of time, I feel no professional will mix sex and work. Personally speaking I will reply to your questions as follows:
Now, the questions are:
1) Have you heard about any such incident in your friend circle?
No and Yes. But it dependents on case by case basis and in all instance I have seen the professional values being killed and the person(s) losing out finally either the job or moving out to different places.
2) Have you received such proposals from your bosses?
By the grace of God, so far no. I have worked with women bosses and all the time, it has been professional only. Although one time, I had to work with a women boss who was really troubled at home with her husband - arab culture having two or three wives. But she showed true professionalism and never mixed work and personal life.
3) Do you think it is ethical?
Not at all. We are not animals. We value relationships.
4) If given a choice, will you walk the similar roads? (Recently we also discussed about “thinking through head and thinking through heart”) in this case, how will you think?
Not at all. The answer for Q3 will suffice my thinking.
Best regards,
Ramesh Menon
www.team1dubai.blogspot.com
From United Arab Emirates, Abu Dhabi
Dear Friends,
This is true and it is happening in organisations and elsewhere. People use their position and power to get what they want.
My boss behaves differently to males and females. A same task if it is not done by males, he shouts and will also warn them that they will be thrown out if dont perform. Whereas for females he is always polite and caring. When a male manager reports him that his female subordinates are not performing, my boss never takes it seriously but instead he will find mistakes with the manager and ask him to improve his managerial skills.
Couple of female staff have informed me about his actions too; trying to hold the shoulders, touching them as if it is necessary while crossing them are few of his actions. Top of this he used to discuss with female staff about the life style of Europe and ask them why dont they adopt to it.
The compulsion to work has made us boldless whether it is male or female.
Regards,
Varsh
This is true and it is happening in organisations and elsewhere. People use their position and power to get what they want.
My boss behaves differently to males and females. A same task if it is not done by males, he shouts and will also warn them that they will be thrown out if dont perform. Whereas for females he is always polite and caring. When a male manager reports him that his female subordinates are not performing, my boss never takes it seriously but instead he will find mistakes with the manager and ask him to improve his managerial skills.
Couple of female staff have informed me about his actions too; trying to hold the shoulders, touching them as if it is necessary while crossing them are few of his actions. Top of this he used to discuss with female staff about the life style of Europe and ask them why dont they adopt to it.
The compulsion to work has made us boldless whether it is male or female.
Regards,
Varsh
ethics depend on several factors like religion/ society/ personal beliefs n experiences etc..
every person is responsible for the outcomes of whatever choices one makes during this life. people make careers by being bankers/ archaelogists.... dictators/ murderers etc.
There are several age old customs like sati/ child marriage/ polygamy which may have got societal sanction in ancient times but totally invalid now.
do you know how purdah came into existence ?
in earlier times police/ judicial system was practically non existent. Much before babaur came to india, women used to apply "multani mitti" on their faces-- this had 2 benefits ie sun protection and protection from lecherous ppl.
i was once watching a program on indigenous tribes in China. one of he tribes had a bizaare ritual in an annual festival: for 2-3 days, one could cohabit with whomsoever of the opposite sex, provided the second person was willing.
Till date because of this custom, There have been zero instances of female harassment - rapes/ molestation in this tribe.
neither males/ females elope against society wishes to marry their beloved... the society doesnt frown upon ex lovers from continuing their relationship even after marriage.
surya
From India, Delhi
every person is responsible for the outcomes of whatever choices one makes during this life. people make careers by being bankers/ archaelogists.... dictators/ murderers etc.
There are several age old customs like sati/ child marriage/ polygamy which may have got societal sanction in ancient times but totally invalid now.
do you know how purdah came into existence ?
in earlier times police/ judicial system was practically non existent. Much before babaur came to india, women used to apply "multani mitti" on their faces-- this had 2 benefits ie sun protection and protection from lecherous ppl.
i was once watching a program on indigenous tribes in China. one of he tribes had a bizaare ritual in an annual festival: for 2-3 days, one could cohabit with whomsoever of the opposite sex, provided the second person was willing.
Till date because of this custom, There have been zero instances of female harassment - rapes/ molestation in this tribe.
neither males/ females elope against society wishes to marry their beloved... the society doesnt frown upon ex lovers from continuing their relationship even after marriage.
surya
From India, Delhi
Dear All
Thanks a lot for sharing your views, ideas and experiences. Let me give my concluding remarks.
Nothing comes free, which means there is a cost for anything and everything that you do in your life…that you want to achieve. You pay a cost to come first I the class. Once you become known and famous, again you pay the cost to be known. Hence, there is a price tag attached with everything. Sometimes back, somewhere I said that in today’s world… “Everything can be sold and everything can be bought”; you need to go to right place and right market to get what you want.
Coming to our present discussion, “Making Sexual Offers at workplace to get jobs, promotions and exponential salary hikes”…it is a virus and it has already fixed its roots…just like corruption. As it has already been discussed, it is not only females who get such offers…or who enter into give-take deal…males is equally venerable. Then not everybody get such offers (Only few extraordinarily good looking people and looking good is not a crime). All those who get such offers…not all of accept such offers but as they say “ek machli purey talab ko ganda kar deti hai”.
Is this right or wrong? Well, it is more or less an issue of personal values, principles and ethics. I remember there was one lady executive at HDFC Standard Life…must be around 25…she was selling insurance policies…and at that time…she met one big Business Manager. She was able to convince him to get one insurance policy from him. He said, “I will get one policy for an annual premium of Rs. 25 Lakhs. Once you submit my papers in your office…you will easily get Rs. Close to 625,000/- lakh as your commission. In a sense, you will be earning 625,000/- from me…what will I get. Why don’t you spend this weekend with me? And then on Monday, I will give you the cheque”.
You all can guess, what would have happened after that.
There is another incident…where a female boss (who was around 35 years of age who had broken marriage) uses to sexually abuse and harass her male subordinate. No doubt that she was giving him all perks and benefits…all in terms of money, position etc but she never let this person get married. She never let this person resign from his job. She uses to threaten him for daring consequences for resigning. This all lead to tensions in the family; extra mental stress etc. It’s been four years and he is still leaving such life.
I really don’t know how those people after accepting such offers of “extended dinner”…look themselves into the mirror? They don’t feel ashamed on themselves?
What is the solution? Yes, there is a solution…but it can only limit the misuse of power and mixing sex with power. Have panel interviews and group “appraisal sessions”. If there is a panel of 3-5 people taking the interview or appraising the individual…that way, one need to strongly justify his point as why he wants to take X person and/or promote Y. Never let one individual in your organization become so powerful so as to misuse the power.
You have a great day and take care.
Stay in touch
Friends...I am working on one research study to this topic...I might use your views and opinions in that. Kindly, give me you e-mail ID's so that I can send you a copy of my work...
Sanjeev Himachali
(BLOG: http://sanjeevhimachali.blogspot.com/ and <link outdated-removed> )
From India, Mumbai
This is a two way beneficial for the males (not all) in junior position with female bosses and they may support. But what about the females working under male egos. Here comes the matter of priorities & values one has to decide for themselves.
However whatever is their choice at the end of saga they should not repent for loosing either career cahnces or the personality.
So dear females colleagues please look before you leap...
However whatever is their choice at the end of saga they should not repent for loosing either career cahnces or the personality.
So dear females colleagues please look before you leap...
SEX AT WORK PLACE IS NOT A RIGHT THING, IF PEOPLE DO SO THEY DEFFINATELY FEEL GUILTY AFTER SOME TIME FOR THIER ACTS. MORE OVER IT WILL VANISH THE PURITY IN THE HUMAN RELATIONS,especialy IN ORGNIZATIONS.,............
w.S.R
MICHAEL JACKSON
From India, Hyderabad
w.S.R
MICHAEL JACKSON
From India, Hyderabad
Hello Sanjeev,
For me this topic is very hard to digest but its a fact even so cant ignore it or run away from it.
I am really very blessed person that i have not come across it. Many times i have heard about it.
But i strongly oppose this. I really get very annoyed and angry on such kind of things. It makes me think that dont these people have any self respect and dont their self consious bite them? Where all the humanity is going, respect for each other as co-worker is going and truely speaking where is the culture of India goin? I really get very upset when i hear such kind of things.
But truely speakin we only will have to work on this and try to stop this as and when faced personally or otherwise. Because by doing such things indireclty we are supporting and encouraging it and we are spoling our life with our own hands.
By such things one will get money, name and fame but u will loose themself. SO STOP THIS!! BE HUMAN! HAVE GOOD AND HEALTHY FRIENDSHIP AND RESPECT FOR EVERYONE! BE PURE! HAVE WOUNDERFUL LIFE!
Best Regards,
Nisha.
Best Regards,
Nisha.
From India, Rajkot
For me this topic is very hard to digest but its a fact even so cant ignore it or run away from it.
I am really very blessed person that i have not come across it. Many times i have heard about it.
But i strongly oppose this. I really get very annoyed and angry on such kind of things. It makes me think that dont these people have any self respect and dont their self consious bite them? Where all the humanity is going, respect for each other as co-worker is going and truely speaking where is the culture of India goin? I really get very upset when i hear such kind of things.
But truely speakin we only will have to work on this and try to stop this as and when faced personally or otherwise. Because by doing such things indireclty we are supporting and encouraging it and we are spoling our life with our own hands.
By such things one will get money, name and fame but u will loose themself. SO STOP THIS!! BE HUMAN! HAVE GOOD AND HEALTHY FRIENDSHIP AND RESPECT FOR EVERYONE! BE PURE! HAVE WOUNDERFUL LIFE!
Best Regards,
Nisha.
Best Regards,
Nisha.
From India, Rajkot
hi
it's very good topic to discuss but no one can tell you the fact most of the people doing this by diffrent way.
only having dinner or lunch with female or male bosses is ok but even in office hours mostly female or male bosses try to touch you or joking or sending bed message .
trying to praise you or probe you for this type of things indirectly.
but all depends on the time .
regards
Santosh Ingh
From India, Mumbai
it's very good topic to discuss but no one can tell you the fact most of the people doing this by diffrent way.
only having dinner or lunch with female or male bosses is ok but even in office hours mostly female or male bosses try to touch you or joking or sending bed message .
trying to praise you or probe you for this type of things indirectly.
but all depends on the time .
regards
Santosh Ingh
From India, Mumbai
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