Hi Pradepa,
Really heart touching article.
I agree with you.I have also seen the same situation with one of my friend.It's really terrible and painful condition.
I wish that more and more people read ur article and follow the same.
Keep posting
Regards,
Archana
From India, Delhi
14Really heart touching article.
I agree with you.I have also seen the same situation with one of my friend.It's really terrible and painful condition.
I wish that more and more people read ur article and follow the same.
Keep posting
Regards,
Archana
From India, Delhi
Dear Reema,
No body will link you with your boss unless there is a scope. May be because somebody spend lot of time with her boss during and after work hours also. May be any one of them (Boss and a Girl) is doing loose talks. Or due to body language of one of them or both of them, other collegues are thinking like that.
So if you want to avoide such gossips, then your relationship with boss should be limited to work only. You may not have anything in your mind but your free attitude also makes people think like that.
Thank you,
Narendra
From India, Mumbai
No body will link you with your boss unless there is a scope. May be because somebody spend lot of time with her boss during and after work hours also. May be any one of them (Boss and a Girl) is doing loose talks. Or due to body language of one of them or both of them, other collegues are thinking like that.
So if you want to avoide such gossips, then your relationship with boss should be limited to work only. You may not have anything in your mind but your free attitude also makes people think like that.
Thank you,
Narendra
From India, Mumbai
Hi,
I agree to what you are saying.. The major point you are making is clear - Colleagues are NOT friends... but, at some level, I think we are only human, and we live in a social setup, and in that social set up, it becomes important for us to gain ' acceptance'... So, these desires must be contained..
I have done my Masters in Counseling & Guidance, and am dealing with such issues on a daily basis in my work. After working with a large Indian IT for 4 years, I quit to start on my own.
The I.T. crowd is a fascinating lot from my point of view - they have so many desires/ wishes/ aims & nothing keeps them happy for long enough! My question is, "When will you be happy? When will you be content?", for that is what we seek, is it not?
Aparna
+91 9962039581
Integrated Systems,
Chennai
From India, Madras
I agree to what you are saying.. The major point you are making is clear - Colleagues are NOT friends... but, at some level, I think we are only human, and we live in a social setup, and in that social set up, it becomes important for us to gain ' acceptance'... So, these desires must be contained..
I have done my Masters in Counseling & Guidance, and am dealing with such issues on a daily basis in my work. After working with a large Indian IT for 4 years, I quit to start on my own.
The I.T. crowd is a fascinating lot from my point of view - they have so many desires/ wishes/ aims & nothing keeps them happy for long enough! My question is, "When will you be happy? When will you be content?", for that is what we seek, is it not?
Aparna
+91 9962039581
Integrated Systems,
Chennai
From India, Madras
Dear Pradepa,
I hope you take this post in the right way. I am sure, you wrote this article after getting moved by something which hit the headlines in newspapers or a experiences you may have seen in your friend's life of for that matter...yours. I am not very sure on that as yet. But when i read through the article, i felt there is some mind block....sorry for having said that....but thats what i felt... and don't know how many people would agree with that. Anyway, it was a nice start.
Now, when you are talking about people in your office, well somewhere...it is important for you to work in a team and with the same enthu and synergy....and if you keep your colleagues away from you...you maynot be succussful in achieveing the desired results.
Why do you think it is a wrong thing to talk to your counter-parts?? i mean...it gives you a better understanding of how the company is moving?? well you somewhere in ur article said that all gossips can be done in the office...i don't think that company pays you for activities which is not related to work....
i will pe continuing this post after sometime...till then, let me see how members respond to this post.
Regards,
Arun
From India, Bangalore
I hope you take this post in the right way. I am sure, you wrote this article after getting moved by something which hit the headlines in newspapers or a experiences you may have seen in your friend's life of for that matter...yours. I am not very sure on that as yet. But when i read through the article, i felt there is some mind block....sorry for having said that....but thats what i felt... and don't know how many people would agree with that. Anyway, it was a nice start.
Now, when you are talking about people in your office, well somewhere...it is important for you to work in a team and with the same enthu and synergy....and if you keep your colleagues away from you...you maynot be succussful in achieveing the desired results.
Why do you think it is a wrong thing to talk to your counter-parts?? i mean...it gives you a better understanding of how the company is moving?? well you somewhere in ur article said that all gossips can be done in the office...i don't think that company pays you for activities which is not related to work....
i will pe continuing this post after sometime...till then, let me see how members respond to this post.
Regards,
Arun
From India, Bangalore
Hi Pradepa,
You have written a very good article and hv done lots of studies also and it is very touching. their is one case in my knowledge also happend in my office and it is really very shamefull to say that the person has done it he is holding a very high post in our company i'll not disclose the name and post of that person but want to say that he and his wife both r working in this office after marraige he told his wife to join this office and it was easy bcoz he is very senior person not in age but in post but he was having affair with a girl, working in our office just after 1 yr of his marraige he gave divorce to her wife just for that girl and now his wife and his G/F both dose not works in the office but still he is having relationship with that girl.
So I just want to say by this example that this is very regural in our life which is very touching to our heart and the normal people dosen't like this.and by this article we can try to stop this thing happing in our office, I don't know how much we will sucess by this but hope for the best.
_______________________
Anu Singh.
HR,
Nagpur.
From India, Pune
You have written a very good article and hv done lots of studies also and it is very touching. their is one case in my knowledge also happend in my office and it is really very shamefull to say that the person has done it he is holding a very high post in our company i'll not disclose the name and post of that person but want to say that he and his wife both r working in this office after marraige he told his wife to join this office and it was easy bcoz he is very senior person not in age but in post but he was having affair with a girl, working in our office just after 1 yr of his marraige he gave divorce to her wife just for that girl and now his wife and his G/F both dose not works in the office but still he is having relationship with that girl.
So I just want to say by this example that this is very regural in our life which is very touching to our heart and the normal people dosen't like this.and by this article we can try to stop this thing happing in our office, I don't know how much we will sucess by this but hope for the best.
_______________________
Anu Singh.
HR,
Nagpur.
From India, Pune
Hi Pradeep your article reflects a true picture but i have one querry how to aware employees in an organisation , is this come under HR role
From India, Lucknow
From India, Lucknow
Unfortunately, something I know a lot about. An extra marital affair between two colleagues in the same team at an office where I once worked ended disastrously with huge resentments building up within the team. Amazingly, within a six-month period of the affair ending, five out of the six people in that team were either fired or walked out as a direct result of this situation. A cautionary tale!
Emz
<link no longer exists - removed>
From United Kingdom
Emz
<link no longer exists - removed>
From United Kingdom
Its really very informative post.
Thanks a tone to all who wrote n give their suggestions on that. n I would say like extramarital affairs happen only when we are not happy wid our married life n the thing wat we expect from our spouse, if he/she is not meeting those expectations we try to look for the same in somebdy else.
but if you are matured enough, u'll understand the things..u'll not give importance to tiny thngs like...
u hvn't called me up?
u didn't give me ny compliment on wearing new dress.
(there r so many small thngs which gals expect from their husband bcz they hd been doing the same b4 marriage bt its the truth that after marriage there are so many thng to take care that husbands generally take it lightly n dnt do that...bt it doesn't mean that they dnt care or dnt love)
similarly they are so many thngs husbands expect from their wives...they want them to be responsible, take care of them, be matured bt at some time behave like their girl frnd to make them happy (they usaully forget like their wife is also working, she may also be tired, she may had a hectic day n may not b in a mood for cooking...etc etc)
so guys....i jst want to say besides of giving ur valuable time to useless chats n gossips with ur colleague or nybdy wid whom u r running such kind of relationship..can't u think for some time...sit together, try to sort out whats going wrong exactly.
I wonder that ppl easily tell their frnds that they r not happy with their spouse...wat he/she does or doesn't bt u cant tell ur spouse the same thng.
Maintain a transparency guys!!
tell the one wat u like in him/her n wat u don't.
"HAVE LESS EXPECTATIONS N GIVE MORE"...the only thing i wud like to say...try it its not so difficult.
Thanks,
Sandhya
From India, Delhi
Thanks a tone to all who wrote n give their suggestions on that. n I would say like extramarital affairs happen only when we are not happy wid our married life n the thing wat we expect from our spouse, if he/she is not meeting those expectations we try to look for the same in somebdy else.
but if you are matured enough, u'll understand the things..u'll not give importance to tiny thngs like...
u hvn't called me up?
u didn't give me ny compliment on wearing new dress.
(there r so many small thngs which gals expect from their husband bcz they hd been doing the same b4 marriage bt its the truth that after marriage there are so many thng to take care that husbands generally take it lightly n dnt do that...bt it doesn't mean that they dnt care or dnt love)
similarly they are so many thngs husbands expect from their wives...they want them to be responsible, take care of them, be matured bt at some time behave like their girl frnd to make them happy (they usaully forget like their wife is also working, she may also be tired, she may had a hectic day n may not b in a mood for cooking...etc etc)
so guys....i jst want to say besides of giving ur valuable time to useless chats n gossips with ur colleague or nybdy wid whom u r running such kind of relationship..can't u think for some time...sit together, try to sort out whats going wrong exactly.
I wonder that ppl easily tell their frnds that they r not happy with their spouse...wat he/she does or doesn't bt u cant tell ur spouse the same thng.
Maintain a transparency guys!!
tell the one wat u like in him/her n wat u don't.
"HAVE LESS EXPECTATIONS N GIVE MORE"...the only thing i wud like to say...try it its not so difficult.
Thanks,
Sandhya
From India, Delhi
Dear Pradepa,
Thanks for submitting such an article, which i found to be 100% true & even i suggest you to send this article accross the nation to make the people realize about the value of life, now a days in the metros(not only) we can see so many people of this case & they argue themselves that this is their rights and nobody can questions them, this is all because of the cultural change & the people started becoming selfish.....
And once again, please mail this article to every one....... i've done it today..... only thru these ways we can stop sorry reduce the effects.... Dear all whoever reads this article send it to all.........
From India, Madras
Thanks for submitting such an article, which i found to be 100% true & even i suggest you to send this article accross the nation to make the people realize about the value of life, now a days in the metros(not only) we can see so many people of this case & they argue themselves that this is their rights and nobody can questions them, this is all because of the cultural change & the people started becoming selfish.....
And once again, please mail this article to every one....... i've done it today..... only thru these ways we can stop sorry reduce the effects.... Dear all whoever reads this article send it to all.........
From India, Madras
hey all...
well...sm more posts..seems that all r intersted to voice themselves..so am I...so lemme leave anther post too...
well all wud be still remembring the gal whu was murdered by the guy whum she met thru Orkut when the guy was already married...well think about business, fashion, media infact celebs... read the autobiography of V.S.Naipaul.....page 3 gossips all have beyond time indicated towards the so called extra marital stff... the havoc tht it can bring in relationships....the lives it can make go haywire all arent as small as it sounds.... untimely divorces...unwed mothers are all these the asstes the most intelligent species- we human beings can capitalize on????
one single childish act or an act outta ego can spoil the entire family...when parents fail to be gud parents....their children become even wrser.....not beacuse they were born so bt cz ther were made so....wen children do so.....u judge their upbrining.....thus....if u enjoy havng extramarital craps....y marry in the fst place and spoil smbody elses's life?????
Aparna. Nair
From India, Thiruvananthapuram
well...sm more posts..seems that all r intersted to voice themselves..so am I...so lemme leave anther post too...
well all wud be still remembring the gal whu was murdered by the guy whum she met thru Orkut when the guy was already married...well think about business, fashion, media infact celebs... read the autobiography of V.S.Naipaul.....page 3 gossips all have beyond time indicated towards the so called extra marital stff... the havoc tht it can bring in relationships....the lives it can make go haywire all arent as small as it sounds.... untimely divorces...unwed mothers are all these the asstes the most intelligent species- we human beings can capitalize on????
one single childish act or an act outta ego can spoil the entire family...when parents fail to be gud parents....their children become even wrser.....not beacuse they were born so bt cz ther were made so....wen children do so.....u judge their upbrining.....thus....if u enjoy havng extramarital craps....y marry in the fst place and spoil smbody elses's life?????
Aparna. Nair
From India, Thiruvananthapuram
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