Thanks Malini :-P
A very successful Sindhi parked his brand new Porsche Car at the front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he got out, a truck came along too close to the kerb and completely tore off the driver's door. Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Porsche, his lights flashing.
But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the Sindhi started screaming hysterically about how his Porsche, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how hard the body shop tries to make it new again.
After the Sindhi finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. 'I can't believe how materialistic you Sindhi's are,' he said.
'You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life.'
'How can you say such a thing?' asked the Sindhi.
The cop replied, 'Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!'
'OH, MY GOD!' screamed the Sindhi & finally said----
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'MY ROLEX WATCH' IS GONE TOO....:icon6:
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
2A very successful Sindhi parked his brand new Porsche Car at the front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he got out, a truck came along too close to the kerb and completely tore off the driver's door. Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Porsche, his lights flashing.
But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the Sindhi started screaming hysterically about how his Porsche, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how hard the body shop tries to make it new again.
After the Sindhi finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. 'I can't believe how materialistic you Sindhi's are,' he said.
'You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life.'
'How can you say such a thing?' asked the Sindhi.
The cop replied, 'Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!'
'OH, MY GOD!' screamed the Sindhi & finally said----
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'MY ROLEX WATCH' IS GONE TOO....:icon6:
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
No probs will try to manage :icon6:
Time for some more :-D
A very drunken man gets on a city bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you - You're going straight to hell!"
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Good heavens, I'm on the wrong bus!"
A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper.
Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper?
French: Toilette pepper! :icon6:
Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm.
Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat and went about his fishing.
An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pantleg.
Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth... :-D
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
Time for some more :-D
A very drunken man gets on a city bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you - You're going straight to hell!"
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Good heavens, I'm on the wrong bus!"
A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper.
Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper?
French: Toilette pepper! :icon6:
Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm.
Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat and went about his fishing.
An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pantleg.
Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth... :-D
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
Time for some more jokes :-D
mr x called to police men
mr x:sir every day i am getting warning phone calls sir
police :what type of warnings those are?
mr x:sir they are warning me if u dont recharge ur phone then ur phone will be disconnected
police:!!!!!!!!!!!
Likho to paigm kuch aisa likho ki,
Kalam bhi rone pe majbur hojaye,
Har lafj me dard bhar do itna ki,
Examinar bhi 35 marks dene par majbur ho jaye.....;-)
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
Baith kar unki julfon k saye me,
Swarg jaisa anand aaya,
Kambakhat uske baap ne dekh liya,
Shaam ko hospital me hi hosh aaya.
A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?"
He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"
"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"
"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"
************ ********
Simple Operation..:-D
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
mr x called to police men
mr x:sir every day i am getting warning phone calls sir
police :what type of warnings those are?
mr x:sir they are warning me if u dont recharge ur phone then ur phone will be disconnected
police:!!!!!!!!!!!
Likho to paigm kuch aisa likho ki,
Kalam bhi rone pe majbur hojaye,
Har lafj me dard bhar do itna ki,
Examinar bhi 35 marks dene par majbur ho jaye.....;-)
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
Baith kar unki julfon k saye me,
Swarg jaisa anand aaya,
Kambakhat uske baap ne dekh liya,
Shaam ko hospital me hi hosh aaya.
A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?"
He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"
"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"
"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"
************ ********
Simple Operation..:-D
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
Hilarious Ones....Amol:icon6::icon6::icon6::icon6:
Ok....now time for some contribution from my side:-D
Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." :huh:
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" :huh::?:
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework.":)
" And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?:-x" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered.:icon1:
Infuriated:-x, she called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?" :icon10:
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" :icon7:
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
"What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four.":-D:icon6::icon6::icon6::icon6:
From India, Delhi
Ok....now time for some contribution from my side:-D
Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." :huh:
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" :huh::?:
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework.":)
" And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?:-x" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered.:icon1:
Infuriated:-x, she called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?" :icon10:
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" :icon7:
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
"What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four.":-D:icon6::icon6::icon6::icon6:
From India, Delhi
Yeah busy schedule nowadays :(
Thanks Chitra, Sindhu,Balaji & Suman :-P
Good one Sindhu :-D
Now one from my side :icon6:
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the Rest Room, those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel.
He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.'
The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the
company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.'
The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.'
The three friendscongratulate d each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?' One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ....What about your son?'
The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.'
The three friendssaid: 'What a shame...what a disappointment. '
The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends. !!!!!! :icon6: :icon6:
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
Thanks Chitra, Sindhu,Balaji & Suman :-P
Good one Sindhu :-D
Now one from my side :icon6:
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the Rest Room, those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel.
He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.'
The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the
company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.'
The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.'
The three friendscongratulate d each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?' One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ....What about your son?'
The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.'
The three friendssaid: 'What a shame...what a disappointment. '
The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends. !!!!!! :icon6: :icon6:
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
:icon6::icon6::icon6:Akli bakli Hilarious AMOL:-P
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: "Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!" :icon7::icon10:
The voice from the other side responded: "You fool, you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to ?":-x
"No" replied the trainee.:huh:
"It's the Managing Director of the company, "you idiot!" :icon10::icon7:
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to,you IDIOT ?":confused:
"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.:-x
"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone.:-D:icon6::icon6:
From India, Delhi
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: "Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!" :icon7::icon10:
The voice from the other side responded: "You fool, you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to ?":-x
"No" replied the trainee.:huh:
"It's the Managing Director of the company, "you idiot!" :icon10::icon7:
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to,you IDIOT ?":confused:
"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.:-x
"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone.:-D:icon6::icon6:
From India, Delhi
[QUOTE=shrutiarjun;840687]:icon6::icon6::icon6:Akli bakli Hilarious AMOL:-P
Danyawad Sindhu Ji :)
Time for short ones :icon6:
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.
**********
Marriage is a three ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
**********
For Sale: Wedding dress, size 8. Worn once by mistake.
***********
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: Before marriage and after marriage.
**********
Why were hurricanes usually named after women? Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car.
**********
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
**********
The reason congressmen try so hard to get reelected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.
**********
All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down he aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly.
As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.
**********
A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy What do you think I should do?"
"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"
**********
John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request, dear," he said. "Of course, John," his wife said softly. "Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob." "But I thought you hated Bob," she said. With his last breath John said, "I do!"
************
Have a nice day,
Regards,
AK
From India, Thana
Danyawad Sindhu Ji :)
Time for short ones :icon6:
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.
**********
Marriage is a three ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
**********
For Sale: Wedding dress, size 8. Worn once by mistake.
***********
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: Before marriage and after marriage.
**********
Why were hurricanes usually named after women? Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car.
**********
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
**********
The reason congressmen try so hard to get reelected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.
**********
All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down he aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly.
As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.
**********
A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy What do you think I should do?"
"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"
**********
John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request, dear," he said. "Of course, John," his wife said softly. "Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob." "But I thought you hated Bob," she said. With his last breath John said, "I do!"
************
Have a nice day,
Regards,
AK
From India, Thana
Little Johnnyis at it again ... :-D
President Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'.
So our illustrious democratic President asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.
One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy?'
'No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident.' A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove a over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.' 'I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call a great loss.'
The room went silent... No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'
Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: 'If the plane carrying you and Mrs.. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.'
'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?'
'Well,' says Little Johnny, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss... and it probably wouldn't be a damn accident either.':icon6:
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
President Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'.
So our illustrious democratic President asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.
One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy?'
'No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident.' A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove a over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.' 'I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call a great loss.'
The room went silent... No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'
Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: 'If the plane carrying you and Mrs.. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.'
'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?'
'Well,' says Little Johnny, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss... and it probably wouldn't be a damn accident either.':icon6:
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
:razz::-DGood one Amol......after a longtime Little Johnny ko yaad kiya:icon6::icon6:
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,' There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael. He's a doctor.'":)
A small voice (of course Johny's) at the back of the room rang out,:icon2: "And there's the teacher. She's dead.":shock::shock::icon6::icon6::-P
From India, Delhi
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,' There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael. He's a doctor.'":)
A small voice (of course Johny's) at the back of the room rang out,:icon2: "And there's the teacher. She's dead.":shock::shock::icon6::icon6::-P
From India, Delhi
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