my Gosh, sorry but does this stuff still exists-are they for real-, there is all kind of abuse present here if i am not wrong. i would say that being 29 years old with a job, you should not have quit your job in the first place. you should not have a DCA - this is abortion right. why for a shameless person whom you are trying to protect.you should make yourself strong and acknowledge that he lied to you and his whole life is a lie may be. if he is accusing you of being unfaithful in the first few months of marriage itself consider what would happen later. i feel that if you happened to die, he will be happy to remarry again with pomp, getting all sympathetic- seeking sympathy from others. my cousin died of cancer two years ago, her husband is a jerk, before her first death anniversary he had gone through several girlfriends and a marriage and a divorce in the process and now another wedding in the planning. Sorry guys but we should not lose ourselves in the hope that they will do same. like they say in the US ""SUCK IT AND PLAY BALL"" lose him get a job stay with your parents or get a flat and live your life. i am not from india and do not want to be especially with the recent rape scandal, but i am a woman and i understand your pain. take care my dear sister.
From Mauritius
4From Mauritius
My Suggestion would be leave him alone for some time and you start searching for a Job and make good career, Being Single is not a bad thing, throw the ball in his court and tell him polity that I would staying alone and he can join you anytime once his perception on you changes, He has to understand life is simple and Loving until than things cant be set right, Remember time is the best medicine in these situations.
as per your post I feel that your husband in mental slavery and there lot of unhappiness & frustration inside him which he is throwing at you, all he needs is some love to correct himself, don't advice him anything just give him options and allow him to think.
and an advice for you, go get some good spiritual master and start falling in Love with U R self so that the need for another person does not arise, Lack of inner fulfillment makes us depend on others.
If you put efforts to fix him now you will have to continue this till death.
We have educational system which is rooted in the mind and people have forgotten to think emotionally, Anger, frustration, Depression are disease of 20th Century as we are not connected to our roots Spiritually.
From India, Bangalore
as per your post I feel that your husband in mental slavery and there lot of unhappiness & frustration inside him which he is throwing at you, all he needs is some love to correct himself, don't advice him anything just give him options and allow him to think.
and an advice for you, go get some good spiritual master and start falling in Love with U R self so that the need for another person does not arise, Lack of inner fulfillment makes us depend on others.
If you put efforts to fix him now you will have to continue this till death.
We have educational system which is rooted in the mind and people have forgotten to think emotionally, Anger, frustration, Depression are disease of 20th Century as we are not connected to our roots Spiritually.
From India, Bangalore
Hi Vandana, Believe in yourself>>. that the way this life is!! Dont lose hope.....and try to get a job>>> believe in God>>> it will take time>>> but again dont lose hope>> regards, Chetan.
From India, Kolkata
From India, Kolkata
Please pray every day so that - both you and your husband and both families get the wisdom and love and compassion to sail through this crisis. May God bless you - divorce is usually not a solution - therefore handle this with love and patience. regards. Gayatri
From India, Chandigarh
From India, Chandigarh
Hiiii.............Vandana.......
instead of asking anyone you should read your mesge which you have posted ....you will get your ans.......
1st your are saying my husband is this and that and 2nd your defending your husband? I relly dont understand what you want...........
See in clear words no body going to help you..... everything you need to do by your own .......
So bee strong think from your mind and take gud step....
WE LIVE JUST FOR ONCE SO DONT WASTE UR LIFE..........
Best of luck,
Amrita Singh
you are 29 vandana ,a working lady
From India, Gurgaon
instead of asking anyone you should read your mesge which you have posted ....you will get your ans.......
1st your are saying my husband is this and that and 2nd your defending your husband? I relly dont understand what you want...........
See in clear words no body going to help you..... everything you need to do by your own .......
So bee strong think from your mind and take gud step....
WE LIVE JUST FOR ONCE SO DONT WASTE UR LIFE..........
Best of luck,
Amrita Singh
you are 29 vandana ,a working lady
From India, Gurgaon
Dear Vandana,
I am a retired army officer. All my life I have lived within the bounds of laws and rules. I have come to respect established systems, simply because they lead to a harmonious way of life. Everything is orderly and the way it should be! Everything is predictable. You can plan things!
I am also a father of two wonderful daughters, who have made me and my wife proud to be parents. We taught them values that we believed to be correct. They found husbands for themselves and simply asked for our approval, which we gave without hesitation. They are leading happy and successful lives today.
I have told you all this because I firmly believe in the fact that good upbringing maketh a man or for that matter a woman.
Marriage is really a contract between a man and woman to live with each other, to look after each other, procreate and contribute to society. And in this equation both partners have to be equal. I understand that may not always be possible but when there is a differential there is a need to adjust.
Quite obviously your husband has not been brought up well. From your description of him he appears to be a boor. There does not appear to be any chance of any change in him.
Your dilemma is obvious. Stay with him and lead a miserable life where even your children will be affected. Or simply leave him. Get a divorce! Start life afresh with someone who can care for you and give you the respect a wife deserves.
My advice to you, though I am no marriage counsellor, is that leave him. Don't face the degradation of being a slave to an animal! Start all over again without delay.
May God be with you.
Good luck.
Colonel Gahlot
'TRURECRUIT'
09810081197
From India, Delhi
I am a retired army officer. All my life I have lived within the bounds of laws and rules. I have come to respect established systems, simply because they lead to a harmonious way of life. Everything is orderly and the way it should be! Everything is predictable. You can plan things!
I am also a father of two wonderful daughters, who have made me and my wife proud to be parents. We taught them values that we believed to be correct. They found husbands for themselves and simply asked for our approval, which we gave without hesitation. They are leading happy and successful lives today.
I have told you all this because I firmly believe in the fact that good upbringing maketh a man or for that matter a woman.
Marriage is really a contract between a man and woman to live with each other, to look after each other, procreate and contribute to society. And in this equation both partners have to be equal. I understand that may not always be possible but when there is a differential there is a need to adjust.
Quite obviously your husband has not been brought up well. From your description of him he appears to be a boor. There does not appear to be any chance of any change in him.
Your dilemma is obvious. Stay with him and lead a miserable life where even your children will be affected. Or simply leave him. Get a divorce! Start life afresh with someone who can care for you and give you the respect a wife deserves.
My advice to you, though I am no marriage counsellor, is that leave him. Don't face the degradation of being a slave to an animal! Start all over again without delay.
May God be with you.
Good luck.
Colonel Gahlot
'TRURECRUIT'
09810081197
From India, Delhi
[Dear Vandanaji,Its rather pity to hear your story and totally endorse the views of the leared senior * Super Moderators. You've not mentioned that whethr your marriage was solemenised under Hindu Marriage Act or Indian Marriage Act.Howevever under the Hindu Marriage Act 's Section 14 it says:-
Sec.14, No petition for divorce to be presented within one year of
marriage. (1)Notwithstanding anything contained in this Act, it shall
not be competent for any court to entertain any petition for
dissolution of a marriage by a decree of divorce, 1[unless at the date
of the presentation of the petition one year has elapsed] since the
date of the marriage:
Provided that the court may, upon application made to it in
accordance with such rules as may be made by the High Court in.
that behalf, allow a petition to be presented 1[before one year has
elapsed] since the date of the marriage on the ground that the case is
one of exceptional hardship to the petitioner or of exceptional
depravity on the part of the respondent, but if it appears to the
court at the hearing of the petition that the petitioner obtained
leave to present the petition by any misrepresentation or concealment
So unless you are able to prove some exeptional hardship, you cannot file a petition before 17th June 2013 and I feel it would be appreciated if you are able to save your marriage for the sake of the coming child too. You still have enough breathing time and give a second thought before taking such a major decision in your life.
Ashok Batta,
Advocate[/B]
From India, Delhi
Sec.14, No petition for divorce to be presented within one year of
marriage. (1)Notwithstanding anything contained in this Act, it shall
not be competent for any court to entertain any petition for
dissolution of a marriage by a decree of divorce, 1[unless at the date
of the presentation of the petition one year has elapsed] since the
date of the marriage:
Provided that the court may, upon application made to it in
accordance with such rules as may be made by the High Court in.
that behalf, allow a petition to be presented 1[before one year has
elapsed] since the date of the marriage on the ground that the case is
one of exceptional hardship to the petitioner or of exceptional
depravity on the part of the respondent, but if it appears to the
court at the hearing of the petition that the petitioner obtained
leave to present the petition by any misrepresentation or concealment
So unless you are able to prove some exeptional hardship, you cannot file a petition before 17th June 2013 and I feel it would be appreciated if you are able to save your marriage for the sake of the coming child too. You still have enough breathing time and give a second thought before taking such a major decision in your life.
Ashok Batta,
Advocate[/B]
From India, Delhi
[Dear Vandanaji,Its rather pity to hear your story and totally endorse the views of the learned Senior & Super Moderators. You've not mentioned that whethr your marriage was solemenised under Hindu Marriage Act or Indian Marriage Act.Howevever under the Hindu Marriage Act 's Section 14 it says:-
Sec.14, No petition for divorce to be presented within one year of
marriage. (1)Notwithstanding anything contained in this Act, it shall
not be competent for any court to entertain any petition for
dissolution of a marriage by a decree of divorce, 1[unless at the date
of the presentation of the petition one year has elapsed] since the
date of the marriage:
Provided that the court may, upon application made to it in
accordance with such rules as may be made by the High Court in.
that behalf, allow a petition to be presented 1[before one year has
elapsed] since the date of the marriage on the ground that the case is
one of exceptional hardship to the petitioner or of exceptional
depravity on the part of the respondent, but if it appears to the
court at the hearing of the petition that the petitioner obtained
leave to present the petition by any misrepresentation or concealment
So unless you are able to prove some exeptional hardship, you cannot file a petition before 17th June 2013 and I feel it would be better if you are able to save your marriage for the sake of the coming child too. You still have enough breathing time and give a second thought before taking such a major decision in your life.
Ashok Batta,
Advocate
From India, Delhi
Sec.14, No petition for divorce to be presented within one year of
marriage. (1)Notwithstanding anything contained in this Act, it shall
not be competent for any court to entertain any petition for
dissolution of a marriage by a decree of divorce, 1[unless at the date
of the presentation of the petition one year has elapsed] since the
date of the marriage:
Provided that the court may, upon application made to it in
accordance with such rules as may be made by the High Court in.
that behalf, allow a petition to be presented 1[before one year has
elapsed] since the date of the marriage on the ground that the case is
one of exceptional hardship to the petitioner or of exceptional
depravity on the part of the respondent, but if it appears to the
court at the hearing of the petition that the petitioner obtained
leave to present the petition by any misrepresentation or concealment
So unless you are able to prove some exeptional hardship, you cannot file a petition before 17th June 2013 and I feel it would be better if you are able to save your marriage for the sake of the coming child too. You still have enough breathing time and give a second thought before taking such a major decision in your life.
Ashok Batta,
Advocate
From India, Delhi
Thankyou Advocate Batta for the legal advice. What should Vandana know about her rights, irrespective of the divorce? How can they be realised, given this is a domestic scenario , where enforcement remains a far cry?
I request our members to put forward the questions that can help Vandana resolve her situation.
I thank Advocate Batta for his contribution and guidance. May God bless him !
From India, Mumbai
I request our members to put forward the questions that can help Vandana resolve her situation.
I thank Advocate Batta for his contribution and guidance. May God bless him !
From India, Mumbai
[B][I]Don' be hypothetical at this stage Ms.(Cite Contribution).Let Ms.Vandana decide her course of action.Its easy to break than make relations.It is rather a very sensitive issue and the same is liable to be resolved with great care, by keeping aside all egoes at this stage.It must be explored if the things can be endured !!
Ashok Batta
Advocate
011-42440600
From India, Delhi
Ashok Batta
Advocate
011-42440600
From India, Delhi
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