Janet,
I am in need of the book Road less travelled :A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth, by Morgan Scott Peck. Its one of the Newyork's Best seller in the category of self- development.
If you can help I think it would be of good use to all who use this site.
Regards,
Davisha
From India, Madras
I am in need of the book Road less travelled :A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth, by Morgan Scott Peck. Its one of the Newyork's Best seller in the category of self- development.
If you can help I think it would be of good use to all who use this site.
Regards,
Davisha
From India, Madras
Hi Janet, I just wanted to say a great thanks for introducing me to Stevepavlina.com In fact the site is soooo good that I just felt like giving you a massive hug and I would have definitely done that had you been physically present in front of me. Steve mentioned some very valid points about not going for a job. I too have resigned from my job as a Government Officer three years back to start my own business. I am so happy & fulfilled today. Janet, thanks once again and keep posting such good articles. By the way, can I have your mail id so that I may also share similar good things with you in the future. God bless you.
From India, Patna
From India, Patna
Giving brings Happiness, Expecting thanks on that ....... perhaps one need not bother about this. You are giving because you want to. People are receiving, that's enough. Isn't? Keep doing the good work.
From India, Pune
8From India, Pune
Hi Janet, You have given the people here a gold mine and if there is cold response to it. Its very bad.
From India, Mumbai
From India, Mumbai
Hi everyone, first let me take the opportunity to wish you happy new year to all of you. i want that everyone in this world specially you the members of this forum live a meaningful and Prosperous life.
thanks Ulka_2009 for your comment but sorry i did not understand which book do you want because this book is does not exists. if you can give link of amazon.com than i might help you.
thanks Karthik1312 and Srini_chaskar for your comments. please visit this link again and again so that you can download more and more stuff from this thread.
thanks Rose_S i am happy that you like this thread and enjoying it. i am too happy to know that i help you in some way.
Hi Saradha.akshaya you can download hte audio on the same way through which you download the ebook. if you tell me specifically that in which audio you are experience this problem than i will help you to sort out this problem.
Hi Davisha, i am looking for this ebook too. it is a very good and i am really happy that you have amazing choice. whenever i found this book i will post here.
thanks Monjeet23 for your comments i am really happy that i am able to help you.
Hi Ramesh Sood thanks for your comments but now i am not bothering about this thanks or appreciation. becuase now i am recieving a lot of appreciation. so please take it as a ameture person 's remark.
Hi Rakeshmishra9, thanks for your comments. i am receiving a lot of appreciation from this forum so now i does not feel bad when some one does not respond to me. it is ok with me. and i am happy that you like this thread.
thanks Bnbhosale for your comments and i am happy that you like this links.
thanks to all of the members of this forum and once again happy new year to all of you.
janet smith.
From India, Madras
thanks Ulka_2009 for your comment but sorry i did not understand which book do you want because this book is does not exists. if you can give link of amazon.com than i might help you.
thanks Karthik1312 and Srini_chaskar for your comments. please visit this link again and again so that you can download more and more stuff from this thread.
thanks Rose_S i am happy that you like this thread and enjoying it. i am too happy to know that i help you in some way.
Hi Saradha.akshaya you can download hte audio on the same way through which you download the ebook. if you tell me specifically that in which audio you are experience this problem than i will help you to sort out this problem.
Hi Davisha, i am looking for this ebook too. it is a very good and i am really happy that you have amazing choice. whenever i found this book i will post here.
thanks Monjeet23 for your comments i am really happy that i am able to help you.
Hi Ramesh Sood thanks for your comments but now i am not bothering about this thanks or appreciation. becuase now i am recieving a lot of appreciation. so please take it as a ameture person 's remark.
Hi Rakeshmishra9, thanks for your comments. i am receiving a lot of appreciation from this forum so now i does not feel bad when some one does not respond to me. it is ok with me. and i am happy that you like this thread.
thanks Bnbhosale for your comments and i am happy that you like this links.
thanks to all of the members of this forum and once again happy new year to all of you.
janet smith.
From India, Madras
here is another article for you from the Personal Development for Smart People - Steve Pavlina. hope you like it and enjoy a lot.
Living by Your Own Rules
At the start of each year, I like to choose my primary focus for the upcoming year. Last week I shared my intentions for 2010 in a new blog post. Most of the feedback I've received thus far, although overwhelmingly positive, suggests that people were quite surprised. The big surprise wasn't necessarily about my specific choice of direction; the real surprise had to do with my willingness to blog about it publicly.
Despite being lauded for my courage, in a way this reaction saddens me. In truth what I shared is something quite popular that millions of people enjoy. And yet many still consider it taboo to talk about it publicly. Why? Who says so? Who made up such silly rules?
It's unfortunate that we feel the need to hide so much of our true selves from the world, isn't it? We conceal common elements of our everyday lives from a misplaced sense of shame or guilt -- or a fear of being harshly judged or rejected by others.
How much of your mental energy is wasted on hiding and pretending? Do you have to pretend you aren't attracted to the people you're most attracted to? Do you have to pretend you never masturbate -- or look at online porn? Do you have to pretend you like your job when you'd rather be doing something else? Just how socially repressed are you? What are you unable to talk about openly? What would cause you to feel embarrassed if someone ratted you out? What secret information could someone use to blackmail you?
I'm not a proponent of radical honesty -- sometimes excessive honesty can be used in a very harsh and cruel way and does more harm than good -- but I do feel it's rather silly for us to keep holding back our inner truth out of a misplaced loyalty to what the rest of the world expects of us. That isn't a very conscious way to live.
Where do those external expectations exist anyway? They aren't somewhere "out there." They exist within us. Those thoughts and feelings are ours, not someone else's. They're our own limits, not society's. When we validate such limits, we give our power away to them and turn them into something real. And yet they remain nothing but illusions without substance.
During the past year, I took some major steps forward in terms of dumping silly notions of what I can and can't say or do, particularly when it comes to communicating with others. I started being open and honest in ways I'd never done before. Initially I feared I'd be subjected to considerable rejection, but I simply accepted that as consequence I'd have to deal with. I figured my self-esteem was high enough that I could take it. In the end my curiosity was significantly greater than my fears and worries.
To kick things off, I very directly told a woman that I was attracted to that I liked her a lot and wanted to explore a deeper connection with her, both emotionally and physically. On another occasion I got into a conversation with a woman about sexual domination and submission, and I invited her to "play together" next time she's in town.
I wasn't hesitant or afraid when I said these things. I simply put myself in a place of accepting whatever response I received. It felt exhilarating to communicate with such freedom and openness, simply sharing what was on my mind. And an interesting thing happened. I never got rejected. The answer always came back as a yes -- a strong yes in fact.
I thought to myself... all this time I've been holding back on voicing certain desires, based on the erroneous assumption that such communication was too aggressive or too socially unacceptable, but all I was doing was denying myself all those yeses.
Since then I've been a bit like a kid in a candy store. Suffice it to say that I'm enjoying some most delicious experiences these days. :)
The part that really gets me is just how simple and easy this is. It may take courage, but it certainly doesn't take much brainpower. All you have to do is get clear about what you want and ask for it directly. I've long been a fan of direct communication -- there's a section on directness in my book -- but I didn't realize just how far I could take it without hitting some kind of wall where rejection was imminent. If there is a wall, I don't seem to have hit it yet. I'm beginning to suspect it doesn't really exist.
I've mostly been pushing forward in the area of sexual communication because that's where I've felt the most repressed till now. It was an area where I still had a lot of work to do. About a week ago, I told a woman that one of my sexual fantasies was to enjoy a certain type of threesome experience. She was turned on by the idea and offered to help make it a reality. Instantly I went from 1/3 of a threesome to 2/3, a rather significant improvement. Several days later, I asked another woman if she'd help us complete the triangle. Another yes. Well that was easy! And to think that all this time, all I had to do to manifest this fantasy in physical form was to directly and shamelessly ask two women that I already knew, and it only took minutes. Seems a bit obvious in retrospect, doesn't it?
I can't say I'll never get rejected using this approach. It's bound to happen eventually for one reason or another. But I'm past the point of worrying about that. And ironically, it's because I don't care if I get rejected that a positive response is more likely. I recognize that there are always more options and opportunities available, so I don't approach any situation with a sense of neediness. I'm fully willing to accept a no and move on without feeling dejected.
Imagine a poker player saying, "I absolutely must win this hand!" That player isn't likely to play very well. S/he can only control so many factors but not necessarily who wins that particular pot. When a hand goes south, the best that player can do is wait for a better spot. There will be plenty more hands, many of them far superior the one that didn't work out.
Now I fully understand if you dislike what I'm getting into in my personal life this year. I'm not asking you to like it since your personal values may be very different from mine. My life is mine to manage as I see fit, and what you think of me personally is truly none of my business anyway. So I ask that you take from my experiences what lessons you can reasonably apply to your own life, and forget the rest. Use the ideas I've shared here to help you get what YOU want.
Where have you been holding back? What special fantasy would you like to experience? What's the fastest possible way you could manifest it? Why not apply the dirt simple approach of communicating your desires openly and asking for what you want from someone who can help make it happen?
Do you want to take your desires to your grave with you, or would you like to experience them now? Is it possible that the yes you seek is only minutes away?
If life rewarded timidity and cowardice, we'd all be kings and queens.
From India, Madras
Living by Your Own Rules
At the start of each year, I like to choose my primary focus for the upcoming year. Last week I shared my intentions for 2010 in a new blog post. Most of the feedback I've received thus far, although overwhelmingly positive, suggests that people were quite surprised. The big surprise wasn't necessarily about my specific choice of direction; the real surprise had to do with my willingness to blog about it publicly.
Despite being lauded for my courage, in a way this reaction saddens me. In truth what I shared is something quite popular that millions of people enjoy. And yet many still consider it taboo to talk about it publicly. Why? Who says so? Who made up such silly rules?
It's unfortunate that we feel the need to hide so much of our true selves from the world, isn't it? We conceal common elements of our everyday lives from a misplaced sense of shame or guilt -- or a fear of being harshly judged or rejected by others.
How much of your mental energy is wasted on hiding and pretending? Do you have to pretend you aren't attracted to the people you're most attracted to? Do you have to pretend you never masturbate -- or look at online porn? Do you have to pretend you like your job when you'd rather be doing something else? Just how socially repressed are you? What are you unable to talk about openly? What would cause you to feel embarrassed if someone ratted you out? What secret information could someone use to blackmail you?
I'm not a proponent of radical honesty -- sometimes excessive honesty can be used in a very harsh and cruel way and does more harm than good -- but I do feel it's rather silly for us to keep holding back our inner truth out of a misplaced loyalty to what the rest of the world expects of us. That isn't a very conscious way to live.
Where do those external expectations exist anyway? They aren't somewhere "out there." They exist within us. Those thoughts and feelings are ours, not someone else's. They're our own limits, not society's. When we validate such limits, we give our power away to them and turn them into something real. And yet they remain nothing but illusions without substance.
During the past year, I took some major steps forward in terms of dumping silly notions of what I can and can't say or do, particularly when it comes to communicating with others. I started being open and honest in ways I'd never done before. Initially I feared I'd be subjected to considerable rejection, but I simply accepted that as consequence I'd have to deal with. I figured my self-esteem was high enough that I could take it. In the end my curiosity was significantly greater than my fears and worries.
To kick things off, I very directly told a woman that I was attracted to that I liked her a lot and wanted to explore a deeper connection with her, both emotionally and physically. On another occasion I got into a conversation with a woman about sexual domination and submission, and I invited her to "play together" next time she's in town.
I wasn't hesitant or afraid when I said these things. I simply put myself in a place of accepting whatever response I received. It felt exhilarating to communicate with such freedom and openness, simply sharing what was on my mind. And an interesting thing happened. I never got rejected. The answer always came back as a yes -- a strong yes in fact.
I thought to myself... all this time I've been holding back on voicing certain desires, based on the erroneous assumption that such communication was too aggressive or too socially unacceptable, but all I was doing was denying myself all those yeses.
Since then I've been a bit like a kid in a candy store. Suffice it to say that I'm enjoying some most delicious experiences these days. :)
The part that really gets me is just how simple and easy this is. It may take courage, but it certainly doesn't take much brainpower. All you have to do is get clear about what you want and ask for it directly. I've long been a fan of direct communication -- there's a section on directness in my book -- but I didn't realize just how far I could take it without hitting some kind of wall where rejection was imminent. If there is a wall, I don't seem to have hit it yet. I'm beginning to suspect it doesn't really exist.
I've mostly been pushing forward in the area of sexual communication because that's where I've felt the most repressed till now. It was an area where I still had a lot of work to do. About a week ago, I told a woman that one of my sexual fantasies was to enjoy a certain type of threesome experience. She was turned on by the idea and offered to help make it a reality. Instantly I went from 1/3 of a threesome to 2/3, a rather significant improvement. Several days later, I asked another woman if she'd help us complete the triangle. Another yes. Well that was easy! And to think that all this time, all I had to do to manifest this fantasy in physical form was to directly and shamelessly ask two women that I already knew, and it only took minutes. Seems a bit obvious in retrospect, doesn't it?
I can't say I'll never get rejected using this approach. It's bound to happen eventually for one reason or another. But I'm past the point of worrying about that. And ironically, it's because I don't care if I get rejected that a positive response is more likely. I recognize that there are always more options and opportunities available, so I don't approach any situation with a sense of neediness. I'm fully willing to accept a no and move on without feeling dejected.
Imagine a poker player saying, "I absolutely must win this hand!" That player isn't likely to play very well. S/he can only control so many factors but not necessarily who wins that particular pot. When a hand goes south, the best that player can do is wait for a better spot. There will be plenty more hands, many of them far superior the one that didn't work out.
Now I fully understand if you dislike what I'm getting into in my personal life this year. I'm not asking you to like it since your personal values may be very different from mine. My life is mine to manage as I see fit, and what you think of me personally is truly none of my business anyway. So I ask that you take from my experiences what lessons you can reasonably apply to your own life, and forget the rest. Use the ideas I've shared here to help you get what YOU want.
Where have you been holding back? What special fantasy would you like to experience? What's the fastest possible way you could manifest it? Why not apply the dirt simple approach of communicating your desires openly and asking for what you want from someone who can help make it happen?
Do you want to take your desires to your grave with you, or would you like to experience them now? Is it possible that the yes you seek is only minutes away?
If life rewarded timidity and cowardice, we'd all be kings and queens.
From India, Madras
Thanks Janet for uploading the link. A small drop of water can bring ripples in still pond similarly our good deeds however small makes big difference... Regards Anjalee
Hi janet...
At the outset I'd thank from my bottom of heart for such a wonderful tip-off regarding motivational contents..
Not only I benefited from that, but my present students as well as future ones will also get a lot just because your help..
It's heartening that even you put on the disappointment of not getting any response, especially those first 90.. at least an acknowledgement would have done much better.. oops.. and but then, in this ruthless world, we should'nt expect those kind of tenderness or gratitude.. am i right..?
any way, again you did a marvelous job.. just like a compass for the desert-wanderer...!
With love,
Daniel Jk
From India, Coimbatore
At the outset I'd thank from my bottom of heart for such a wonderful tip-off regarding motivational contents..
Not only I benefited from that, but my present students as well as future ones will also get a lot just because your help..
It's heartening that even you put on the disappointment of not getting any response, especially those first 90.. at least an acknowledgement would have done much better.. oops.. and but then, in this ruthless world, we should'nt expect those kind of tenderness or gratitude.. am i right..?
any way, again you did a marvelous job.. just like a compass for the desert-wanderer...!
With love,
Daniel Jk
From India, Coimbatore
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(ebook pdf) how to get the truth out of anyone[1].pdf