Hello Friends
This is Swetha. Can anyone suggest me some simple techniques to overcome fear within us. One of my friend shows enthusiasm in attending an interview and she even gets selected but as and when time of joining arrives she gets scare and leaves the opportunity. The reason being, she presumes that she is not capable, she cannot withstand the work pressure so cannot survive for a longer time in the company and will be fired. This has happened with her many times. Its not even that she is not serious about her career. So please help her by responding to this post.
Regards
Swetha
From India, Hyderabad
This is Swetha. Can anyone suggest me some simple techniques to overcome fear within us. One of my friend shows enthusiasm in attending an interview and she even gets selected but as and when time of joining arrives she gets scare and leaves the opportunity. The reason being, she presumes that she is not capable, she cannot withstand the work pressure so cannot survive for a longer time in the company and will be fired. This has happened with her many times. Its not even that she is not serious about her career. So please help her by responding to this post.
Regards
Swetha
From India, Hyderabad
Hi
Your friends needs some help in motivation. She needs to realize her self worth. Can you please provide more generic information about your friend. Such as :
Education
Age
Previous work experience (if any)
Financial condition (below / above middle class)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
This world is a tough place, and it will become more tougher for her to live with such attitude and self doubt ! recommended books, if she is a reader :
You can Win
The Secret
Art of Assertiveness
From Kuwait, Salmiya
27Your friends needs some help in motivation. She needs to realize her self worth. Can you please provide more generic information about your friend. Such as :
Education
Age
Previous work experience (if any)
Financial condition (below / above middle class)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
This world is a tough place, and it will become more tougher for her to live with such attitude and self doubt ! recommended books, if she is a reader :
You can Win
The Secret
Art of Assertiveness
From Kuwait, Salmiya
Hi Swetha,
There are number of reasons why people are afraid. Similarly the degree of fear and the root cause of fear could vary from situation to situation. However for the limited purpose of the case you have shared, let me put forth a few reasons and practical tips to overcome it.
- Lack of self belief. This can be primarily due to some nasty experience with a previous employer or the result of some harsh criticism that your friend has faced. What she needs to understand is that if she is selected it means that she is first among equals which in itself is a clear appreciation of her abilities, qualifications and capabilities.
- Tendency to have negative thoughts. Over a period this tendency can magnify itself to such an extent that one will see demons in every situation that one visualizes. The person needs to then focus on the numerous success that she has achieved, ensure she is around people who are positive by nature and cheerfully motivate and encourage. She can also mentally work out how she plans to go about making a success of her job.
- Having unrealistic and difficult to achieve standards of excellence. Some people tend to keep targets far in excess of their abilities. Every setback or failure is then seen as a disaster. She will then need to be more pragmatic, realistic and down to earth if she has to find a balance between her true abilities and her performance benchmarks.
- Comparisons with superlative successful peers. Nothing is worse than making comparisons with peers who could have done well in their chosen filed. The problem here is we do not see the risks they take, the lucky breaks they get, the price they pay for success and so we believe that we too must attain the same even if we are not able to pay the same price they pay for success.
She may also benefit from inputs on fear, self confidence, goal setting etc from the following Inspirational and Motivational Blogs.
www.actspot.wordpress.com - Over 93,500 views and 625 followers
www.poweract.blogspot.com - Over 28,500 views and 165 followers
However in the case referred above, you suggest that the lady has exhibited this tendency a number of times. While some or all of the above problems could be affecting her, in my view she would possibly need more expert psychological intervention than merely relying on my reply.
Regards
From India, Mumbai
There are number of reasons why people are afraid. Similarly the degree of fear and the root cause of fear could vary from situation to situation. However for the limited purpose of the case you have shared, let me put forth a few reasons and practical tips to overcome it.
- Lack of self belief. This can be primarily due to some nasty experience with a previous employer or the result of some harsh criticism that your friend has faced. What she needs to understand is that if she is selected it means that she is first among equals which in itself is a clear appreciation of her abilities, qualifications and capabilities.
- Tendency to have negative thoughts. Over a period this tendency can magnify itself to such an extent that one will see demons in every situation that one visualizes. The person needs to then focus on the numerous success that she has achieved, ensure she is around people who are positive by nature and cheerfully motivate and encourage. She can also mentally work out how she plans to go about making a success of her job.
- Having unrealistic and difficult to achieve standards of excellence. Some people tend to keep targets far in excess of their abilities. Every setback or failure is then seen as a disaster. She will then need to be more pragmatic, realistic and down to earth if she has to find a balance between her true abilities and her performance benchmarks.
- Comparisons with superlative successful peers. Nothing is worse than making comparisons with peers who could have done well in their chosen filed. The problem here is we do not see the risks they take, the lucky breaks they get, the price they pay for success and so we believe that we too must attain the same even if we are not able to pay the same price they pay for success.
She may also benefit from inputs on fear, self confidence, goal setting etc from the following Inspirational and Motivational Blogs.
www.actspot.wordpress.com - Over 93,500 views and 625 followers
www.poweract.blogspot.com - Over 28,500 views and 165 followers
However in the case referred above, you suggest that the lady has exhibited this tendency a number of times. While some or all of the above problems could be affecting her, in my view she would possibly need more expert psychological intervention than merely relying on my reply.
Regards
From India, Mumbai
Hello Hussain
Firstly thank you so much for replying to my post. I am providing you the information asked by you for better understanding of the problem.
Qualification: MBA (HR)
Age: 25
Previous work experience:Has worked for 3 months for started company and left the job, since she was facing some problems with the manager(Operations Head)
Financial Condition: Lower middle class
With Regards
Swetha
From India, Hyderabad
Firstly thank you so much for replying to my post. I am providing you the information asked by you for better understanding of the problem.
Qualification: MBA (HR)
Age: 25
Previous work experience:Has worked for 3 months for started company and left the job, since she was facing some problems with the manager(Operations Head)
Financial Condition: Lower middle class
With Regards
Swetha
From India, Hyderabad
Hi
Knowing her education and age, I see that, your friend is lacking will power. I m surprised that being lower middle class how can she afford to miss out on a job opportunity.
If you can make her understand that, life has to be lived upfront. She is alone in her mind and heart. She has to fight regressive demons by herself, no one can rescue her, other than herself.
As you mentioned she had problems with Operational head ! Ask her to confide to you, what is the real problem, was she immorally harassed ? Work pressure and taunting are soon forgotten, but attack on modesty or character remains like a scar on one’s psyche.
Further discussion can be done only if this situation hold true. If not, then she needs to be strictly dealt in life. Assuming that no such immoral harassment took place; knowing her education and age maturity. She needs to be given a reality check, to say it in a rude way, she needs a tight slap on her face (metaphorically).
After spending money, energy, time and efforts to acquire MBA in HR, which usually deals with topics like motivation and productivity, she is not able to fix her own mindset. Either she has not learnt anything in her MBA tenure wasting resources of her parents or she is just too lazy to go to work !
A sound person of 25 years of age is matured, strong, independently responsible for their actions. However not all fingers are same. However, in such cases only those evolve and rise to lead a life upfront who are pushed to the edge of survival !
Who is paying her bills ? Who is paying her expenses ? this will define her motivation and aim to make a life out of herself.
From Kuwait, Salmiya
Knowing her education and age, I see that, your friend is lacking will power. I m surprised that being lower middle class how can she afford to miss out on a job opportunity.
If you can make her understand that, life has to be lived upfront. She is alone in her mind and heart. She has to fight regressive demons by herself, no one can rescue her, other than herself.
As you mentioned she had problems with Operational head ! Ask her to confide to you, what is the real problem, was she immorally harassed ? Work pressure and taunting are soon forgotten, but attack on modesty or character remains like a scar on one’s psyche.
Further discussion can be done only if this situation hold true. If not, then she needs to be strictly dealt in life. Assuming that no such immoral harassment took place; knowing her education and age maturity. She needs to be given a reality check, to say it in a rude way, she needs a tight slap on her face (metaphorically).
After spending money, energy, time and efforts to acquire MBA in HR, which usually deals with topics like motivation and productivity, she is not able to fix her own mindset. Either she has not learnt anything in her MBA tenure wasting resources of her parents or she is just too lazy to go to work !
A sound person of 25 years of age is matured, strong, independently responsible for their actions. However not all fingers are same. However, in such cases only those evolve and rise to lead a life upfront who are pushed to the edge of survival !
Who is paying her bills ? Who is paying her expenses ? this will define her motivation and aim to make a life out of herself.
From Kuwait, Salmiya
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