Please read slowly and carefully, preferably aloud. Euro English is
coming
European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a
reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.
From India, Bangalore
20coming
European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a
reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.
From India, Bangalore
One doesn’t have to be a great astrologer to predict about Indian English, In about 10 years we too will adopt Euro English (as is the case with everything else)
From India, Bangalore
From India, Bangalore
Sherine,
Futurologists are not necessarily astrologers. Alvin Tffler is not.
To the astrologers I ask- can you predict and control the behaviour of the people around you?
If not, how do you claim to predict and control the behaviour of the mighty planets moving in distant space?
They fumble.
So there is no point to feel to be belittled before them. So cheer up.
regards
From India, Delhi
Futurologists are not necessarily astrologers. Alvin Tffler is not.
To the astrologers I ask- can you predict and control the behaviour of the people around you?
If not, how do you claim to predict and control the behaviour of the mighty planets moving in distant space?
They fumble.
So there is no point to feel to be belittled before them. So cheer up.
regards
From India, Delhi
Hai everybody,
Have a look at this!
Read these facts and build up ur GK...They are really interesting.....
1. Coca-Cola was originally green.
2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
3. The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
4. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
5. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row ! of the keyboard.
6. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!
7. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
8. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
9. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.
10. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
11. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
12. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
13. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history. Spades - King David Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
14. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
15. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
16. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
17. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
18. Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?
Ans. - Honey
19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
20. A snail can sleep for three years.
21. All polar bears are left handed.
22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
23. Butterflies taste with their feet.
24. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
25. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
26. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
27.Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
29.The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
31.The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
32. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.
33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
34. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
36. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
37. And finally 99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
Thanks
Bala
From India, Madras
Have a look at this!
Read these facts and build up ur GK...They are really interesting.....
1. Coca-Cola was originally green.
2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
3. The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
4. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
5. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row ! of the keyboard.
6. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!
7. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
8. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
9. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.
10. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
11. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
12. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
13. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history. Spades - King David Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
14. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
15. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
16. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
17. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
18. Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?
Ans. - Honey
19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
20. A snail can sleep for three years.
21. All polar bears are left handed.
22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
23. Butterflies taste with their feet.
24. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
25. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
26. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
27.Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
29.The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
31.The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
32. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.
33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
34. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
36. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
37. And finally 99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
Thanks
Bala
From India, Madras
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The Hindu English Finale.doc
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