Hi, I used to work for a private company and had a crush on a girl; whenever she used to pass by near me or someone used to talk to her, I used to have a gentle smile within myself (without looking at her) and some times wistful smile or sometimes jealousy which used to appear from my facial expression and body language leading my emotions vulnerable to others that I couldn't control unfortunately.
Others sitting beside me used to notice my facial expressions and sometimes suggested I go and talk to her in an indirect way, which I never did, and even that girl never did, but even she used to have a gentle smiley face sometimes. Somehow, the gossiping started, and when I left the organization, I was given bad feedback about my attitude and behaviour, and the current employer is giving negative year-end reviews year after year.
How should I handle this without affecting my current and future employment?
From India, Mumbai
Others sitting beside me used to notice my facial expressions and sometimes suggested I go and talk to her in an indirect way, which I never did, and even that girl never did, but even she used to have a gentle smiley face sometimes. Somehow, the gossiping started, and when I left the organization, I was given bad feedback about my attitude and behaviour, and the current employer is giving negative year-end reviews year after year.
How should I handle this without affecting my current and future employment?
From India, Mumbai
Dear member,
You have linked negative feedback from the past employer with the crush you had on your office colleague. However, on what grounds have you made this link? It is just a surmise and nothing else.
You have written that you "left" the organisation. But was it a normal separation or you were forced to leave? I ask this question because not all employers give negative feedback even though it is a "forced separation" from the organisation. Giving negative feedback is in the extreme case. Was there any untoward incident before you left the organisation? Did this incident have a bearing on your exit?
Now coming to a solution. As the negative feedback is denying you opportunities for gainful employment, I recommend you approach the past employer and clear whatever misgivings they have. Explain to them that getting a job is difficult and even though you succeeded in getting a job, you could not continue because of the negative feedback they have been giving. So you have been given enough punishment. Any punishment has to have a temporary effect and not lifelong. Therefore, beg for pardon and obtain confirmation that negative feedback will not be given in the future.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
7884You have linked negative feedback from the past employer with the crush you had on your office colleague. However, on what grounds have you made this link? It is just a surmise and nothing else.
You have written that you "left" the organisation. But was it a normal separation or you were forced to leave? I ask this question because not all employers give negative feedback even though it is a "forced separation" from the organisation. Giving negative feedback is in the extreme case. Was there any untoward incident before you left the organisation? Did this incident have a bearing on your exit?
Now coming to a solution. As the negative feedback is denying you opportunities for gainful employment, I recommend you approach the past employer and clear whatever misgivings they have. Explain to them that getting a job is difficult and even though you succeeded in getting a job, you could not continue because of the negative feedback they have been giving. So you have been given enough punishment. Any punishment has to have a temporary effect and not lifelong. Therefore, beg for pardon and obtain confirmation that negative feedback will not be given in the future.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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