Have incredible dogs
Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer who said his dog could do math calculations. His dog was named "T-Square", and he told him to get some paper and draw a square, a circle and a triangle, which the dog did with no sweat. The accountant said he thought his dog was better. His dog was named "Slide Rule". He told him to fetch a dozen cookies, bring them back, and divide them into piles of three, which he did with no problem. The chemist said that was good, but he felt his dog was better. His dog "Measure" was told to get a quart of milk and pour seven ounces into a ten ounce glass. The dog did this with no problem.
All three men agreed this was very good and that their dogs were equally smart. They all turned to the union member and said, "What can your dog do?". The Teamster called his dog whose name was "Coffee Break" and said, "Show the fellows what you can do". Coffee Break went over and ate the cookies, drank the milk, went to the bathroom on the paper, claimed he injured his back while eating, filed a grievance for unsafe working conditions, applied for Workmen's Compensation and left for home on sick leave.
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Thoughts from work
Once I came upon this pretty new temp standing in front of the paper shredder with a confused look on her face. I asked if she needed any help and she said, "Yeah, how does this thing work ?" I took the papers from her hand and demonstrated how to work the shredder. She stood there a moment with yet another confused expression, so I said, "Any questions ?" She said, "Yeah, exactly where do the copies come out from ?"
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From India, Madras
54Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer who said his dog could do math calculations. His dog was named "T-Square", and he told him to get some paper and draw a square, a circle and a triangle, which the dog did with no sweat. The accountant said he thought his dog was better. His dog was named "Slide Rule". He told him to fetch a dozen cookies, bring them back, and divide them into piles of three, which he did with no problem. The chemist said that was good, but he felt his dog was better. His dog "Measure" was told to get a quart of milk and pour seven ounces into a ten ounce glass. The dog did this with no problem.
All three men agreed this was very good and that their dogs were equally smart. They all turned to the union member and said, "What can your dog do?". The Teamster called his dog whose name was "Coffee Break" and said, "Show the fellows what you can do". Coffee Break went over and ate the cookies, drank the milk, went to the bathroom on the paper, claimed he injured his back while eating, filed a grievance for unsafe working conditions, applied for Workmen's Compensation and left for home on sick leave.
:icon1::icon1::icon1::icon1:
Thoughts from work
Once I came upon this pretty new temp standing in front of the paper shredder with a confused look on her face. I asked if she needed any help and she said, "Yeah, how does this thing work ?" I took the papers from her hand and demonstrated how to work the shredder. She stood there a moment with yet another confused expression, so I said, "Any questions ?" She said, "Yeah, exactly where do the copies come out from ?"
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From India, Madras
Hey Ash,
The first one was awesome. It is true that in today's world people arer so busy with n number of problems that they do not find time to relax for a min which is very necessary in life.
Regards
Revathi Pillai
From India, Pune
The first one was awesome. It is true that in today's world people arer so busy with n number of problems that they do not find time to relax for a min which is very necessary in life.
Regards
Revathi Pillai
From India, Pune
You are correct Revathy. And this leads to just mounting of the stress from work and personal life - and people forget that there are also moments of happiness in our lives.
From India, Madras
From India, Madras
Hi Ash,
Your story about incredible dogs is a wonderful piece which symbolises the work culture / ethics of most employees in the public sector. The union leaders in most of PSUs and even some organisations in the private sector also do what the union member's dog did. It is only such people who generally make to the top jobs, remain blue eyed siblings of the management, get plum postings, accumulate assets well above their means of income. Most others remain happy like the three other dogs in the story.
About the other story, I think it is more like the antics of a "sifarshi" employee, who knows nothing about the job except having backing of some powerful functionary in the organisation.
Good Luck.
Y. K. Kalia
From India, Delhi
Your story about incredible dogs is a wonderful piece which symbolises the work culture / ethics of most employees in the public sector. The union leaders in most of PSUs and even some organisations in the private sector also do what the union member's dog did. It is only such people who generally make to the top jobs, remain blue eyed siblings of the management, get plum postings, accumulate assets well above their means of income. Most others remain happy like the three other dogs in the story.
About the other story, I think it is more like the antics of a "sifarshi" employee, who knows nothing about the job except having backing of some powerful functionary in the organisation.
Good Luck.
Y. K. Kalia
From India, Delhi
Hi, I totally agree with Y.K Kalia and Ash, thanks for posting this is really very good, it gives humor and lesson both. Keep on posting such good things. Regards, Priyanka Vinda HR
From India, Ahmadabad
From India, Ahmadabad
Dear all,
These anecdotes are wonderful.
I was wondering whether we could have a case study on the second one, i.e., Shredder or Copier?
"Who is to blame for what happened? Why do you think so?"
I bet some interesting arguments coming up, especially on communication skills.
Regards,
Prashant Das
From India, Delhi
These anecdotes are wonderful.
I was wondering whether we could have a case study on the second one, i.e., Shredder or Copier?
"Who is to blame for what happened? Why do you think so?"
I bet some interesting arguments coming up, especially on communication skills.
Regards,
Prashant Das
From India, Delhi
Its the mistake of the person who wanted to help.... he suld hve nt assumed that the girl wanted to use the shredder.
Its also the mistake of the girl as she shuld have explained what she wanted to do with the papers.
So NEVER ASSUME THINGS!
As ASSUME is "ASS - U - ME" Making an Ass out of U and Me
Second - be clear on what you want, else be prepared to be lost!
From India, Madras
Its also the mistake of the girl as she shuld have explained what she wanted to do with the papers.
So NEVER ASSUME THINGS!
As ASSUME is "ASS - U - ME" Making an Ass out of U and Me
Second - be clear on what you want, else be prepared to be lost!
From India, Madras
Here is another interesting one on Gender Discrimination - I really laughed at the end for a long time!
the god and eve story
"God, I've been thinking.." says Eve one day.
"What's on your mind Eve?" says God.
"Well, I know that you created me and this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful creatures, but lately I've been feeling that maybe there's more to life."
"Go on..." says God.
"Sometimes I get a bit bored - I fancy a bit of fun. And I get a bit fed up with all the heaving lifting and carrying, and warding off the mammoths and sabre-toothed tigers, not to mention that bloody snake. This garden can be dangerous place."
"I see," says God, pausing for thought.
"Eve, I have a cunning plan," says God, "I shall create Man for you."
"Man?" asks Eve, "What is Man?"
"Man..." says God, "Is a flawed creature. He will have many weaknesses and disgusting habits. Man will lie, cheat and behave like an idiot - in fact mostly he'll be a complete pain in the backside. But on the plus side he'll be big and strong, and will be able to protect you, and hunt and kill things, which might be handy sometimes. He will tend to lose control of mind and body when aroused, but with a bit training can reach an acceptable standard in the bedroom department, if you know what I mean."
"Hmm," says Eve, "Seems like this Man idea might be worth a try, but tell me God, is there anything else I need to know?"
"Just this," says God, "Man comes with one condition... In keeping with his arrogant, deluded, self-important character, Man will naturally believe that he was made first, and frankly we all have better things to do than argue, so you must keep all this a secret between us, if that's okay with you. You know, woman to woman....."
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Hey - chk the attachment and I am sure everyone will like it!
Thanks
From India, Madras
the god and eve story
"God, I've been thinking.." says Eve one day.
"What's on your mind Eve?" says God.
"Well, I know that you created me and this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful creatures, but lately I've been feeling that maybe there's more to life."
"Go on..." says God.
"Sometimes I get a bit bored - I fancy a bit of fun. And I get a bit fed up with all the heaving lifting and carrying, and warding off the mammoths and sabre-toothed tigers, not to mention that bloody snake. This garden can be dangerous place."
"I see," says God, pausing for thought.
"Eve, I have a cunning plan," says God, "I shall create Man for you."
"Man?" asks Eve, "What is Man?"
"Man..." says God, "Is a flawed creature. He will have many weaknesses and disgusting habits. Man will lie, cheat and behave like an idiot - in fact mostly he'll be a complete pain in the backside. But on the plus side he'll be big and strong, and will be able to protect you, and hunt and kill things, which might be handy sometimes. He will tend to lose control of mind and body when aroused, but with a bit training can reach an acceptable standard in the bedroom department, if you know what I mean."
"Hmm," says Eve, "Seems like this Man idea might be worth a try, but tell me God, is there anything else I need to know?"
"Just this," says God, "Man comes with one condition... In keeping with his arrogant, deluded, self-important character, Man will naturally believe that he was made first, and frankly we all have better things to do than argue, so you must keep all this a secret between us, if that's okay with you. You know, woman to woman....."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey - chk the attachment and I am sure everyone will like it!
Thanks
From India, Madras
The Cracked Pot
"A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you. "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it somewhat. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.
The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."
The moral of this story:
Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. In this world, nothing goes to waste. You may think like the cracked pot that you are inefficient or useless in certain areas of your life, but somehow these flaws can turn out to be a blessing in disguise."
From India, Hyderabad
"A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you. "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it somewhat. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.
The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."
The moral of this story:
Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. In this world, nothing goes to waste. You may think like the cracked pot that you are inefficient or useless in certain areas of your life, but somehow these flaws can turn out to be a blessing in disguise."
From India, Hyderabad
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