Dear Seniors,
I would like to bring this case to all of you to kindly suggest relevant solutions. I work as an HR Executive in an IT company with a strength of 55 people in India and around 45 people in the US. I am the only HR person working in this company handling all the HR functions.
One day, an employee requested me through an email that he wants to change his desk as the place where he is sitting currently causes a lot of disturbance to him and he can't concentrate because people have discussions near his desk.
I checked with my system admin guy if the desk can be allocated to him, but that desk was already allocated to a new joiner, and the same status was being told to the current employee working in the organization. The next day, the employee calls me to the conference hall as he wanted to discuss his desk allocation with me. When I went inside the conference hall, the employee started misbehaving and speaking to me in a loud pitch, questioning "who is the system admin guy to tell me no" and "can't the new joiner sit somewhere else." His pitch was so loud that all the other employees were peeping to see what was going on inside the conference room. I told the employee to please behave and discuss the issue politely, but he lost his temper and started shouting at me, accusing me of playing politics and not giving him that desk. He spoke to me in a very loud and rude manner despite my repeated requests to lower his voice.
At the end of the 10-minute discussion, I told him that I'll try to help him out and do something about his desk. I felt hurt that an employee spoke to an HR in that manner and secondly misbehaved with me as a female employee. When I approached the company's director, he took the matter lightly, suggesting that I should forget the incident and handle it lightly because as an HR, I need to maintain a cool temperament. He mentioned that employees usually talk like this, but I should not react.
After the incident, I am very hurt and disappointed, feeling that my self-respect has been challenged. I want to know from all of you what options are available to me now. Do I have the right to issue him a warning letter? Or should I follow the company director's advice and forget about it? What kind of letter can be issued to him for this behavior? I am worried because this could happen to any employee, and if I don't take action today, it may happen to another employee in the future. Your suggestions and comments are welcome ASAP.
From India, Mumbai
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I would like to bring this case to all of you to kindly suggest relevant solutions. I work as an HR Executive in an IT company with a strength of 55 people in India and around 45 people in the US. I am the only HR person working in this company handling all the HR functions.
One day, an employee requested me through an email that he wants to change his desk as the place where he is sitting currently causes a lot of disturbance to him and he can't concentrate because people have discussions near his desk.
I checked with my system admin guy if the desk can be allocated to him, but that desk was already allocated to a new joiner, and the same status was being told to the current employee working in the organization. The next day, the employee calls me to the conference hall as he wanted to discuss his desk allocation with me. When I went inside the conference hall, the employee started misbehaving and speaking to me in a loud pitch, questioning "who is the system admin guy to tell me no" and "can't the new joiner sit somewhere else." His pitch was so loud that all the other employees were peeping to see what was going on inside the conference room. I told the employee to please behave and discuss the issue politely, but he lost his temper and started shouting at me, accusing me of playing politics and not giving him that desk. He spoke to me in a very loud and rude manner despite my repeated requests to lower his voice.
At the end of the 10-minute discussion, I told him that I'll try to help him out and do something about his desk. I felt hurt that an employee spoke to an HR in that manner and secondly misbehaved with me as a female employee. When I approached the company's director, he took the matter lightly, suggesting that I should forget the incident and handle it lightly because as an HR, I need to maintain a cool temperament. He mentioned that employees usually talk like this, but I should not react.
After the incident, I am very hurt and disappointed, feeling that my self-respect has been challenged. I want to know from all of you what options are available to me now. Do I have the right to issue him a warning letter? Or should I follow the company director's advice and forget about it? What kind of letter can be issued to him for this behavior? I am worried because this could happen to any employee, and if I don't take action today, it may happen to another employee in the future. Your suggestions and comments are welcome ASAP.
From India, Mumbai
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Hi Priyanka,
We are sailing in the same ship it seems! The same incident happened to me a couple of days before. I handle HR, Admin, and Finance departments in my organization, and my position is Manager of HR and Admin. Some days ago, an employee called me regarding a tax matter. There was a tax deduction in her salary, and she was frustrated due to the heavy tax deductions as per the rules. She expressed all her frustration to me over an intercom call. Even after I requested her 3 to 4 times to lower her volume, she took this also in the wrong manner. Subsequently, she sent me an email, copying her Line Manager and the director of the company. My director did not take any action against her and told me to ignore the email, saying, "You are in HR; you can't behave in the wrong manner."
I was disheartened and upset for more than 15 to 20 days, but it was useless. I suggest that if your director has advised you to ignore the situation, then do not take any action against him. If you have someone else above you, discuss this with him or her.
Wishing you all the best.
Keep smiling,
Preeti
From India, Mumbai
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3We are sailing in the same ship it seems! The same incident happened to me a couple of days before. I handle HR, Admin, and Finance departments in my organization, and my position is Manager of HR and Admin. Some days ago, an employee called me regarding a tax matter. There was a tax deduction in her salary, and she was frustrated due to the heavy tax deductions as per the rules. She expressed all her frustration to me over an intercom call. Even after I requested her 3 to 4 times to lower her volume, she took this also in the wrong manner. Subsequently, she sent me an email, copying her Line Manager and the director of the company. My director did not take any action against her and told me to ignore the email, saying, "You are in HR; you can't behave in the wrong manner."
I was disheartened and upset for more than 15 to 20 days, but it was useless. I suggest that if your director has advised you to ignore the situation, then do not take any action against him. If you have someone else above you, discuss this with him or her.
Wishing you all the best.
Keep smiling,
Preeti
From India, Mumbai
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Hey Preeti and Priyanka,
Include me in the list.
This has happened many times with me where employees show their frustration. They think that HR can be shouted at for everything. And they love telling others – "I went and shouted at the HR – she was scared!" Truth is they would have been tongue-tied!
What I do nowadays is that I clearly tell them - "I am here to help you with the situation, please let me know how best I can help you. I understand you are frustrated with the situation but please calm down – take some time and then talk."
If they cross the level – I clearly say – "I am sorry, we are deviating from the purpose of this meeting – we are here to sort it out and see what the next action step should be and not let this feeling within you continue."
(I always make sure that there is drinking water in the room.)
The most important thing at this point is we should not react back with a surprise or a helpless look – just look emotionless, and let the person know that you are "waiting" to hear the actual issue and not his/her frustration.
Take a paper and pen and jot down all points. I even note down whatever terms they use like – "u hr ppl… this company…" This is because they will be aware of whatever words they use. They will calm down. (In that way, even you calm down.)
If on the phone, I will never react and just say "I am sorry I am helpless, but this was something you should have planned. We still have time left and there is no harm in deciding what can be done next to avoid such situations."
If they cross the level – please tell them – meet me later today, and we can see what best can be done.
Priyanka, if he gets back to you say that you have no control over the actions of the system guy, and he is just doing what he is supposed to do. If he is looking at someone to yell at, you are not the right person. If he can discuss without raising his voice, tell him you are open to talking. Else, he needs time to clear his anger and get back and talk when his head is cool. At these times - after saying twice or thrice if he still yells, just politely tell him that you are walking out and can be called when he clears his anger - not through you though!
Just be strict, and I am sure this person will get back to say sorry. Please tell (not ask) tell him – to keep his cool while talking and the next time he requires anything, he needs to put it across with the right words and not loud words. He is spoiling his own image, and people may start thinking that he is a short-tempered person and never approachable.
The senior management will not mind this at all - but that does not mean that we have to take everything! In this case, we should take control of the situation.
Good Luck! and forget about this guy who wants a place changed. He is so childish to fight for all that…so you know what level of person he is! Just a kid... and don't show your frustration to him...
Hey, usually men come with such silly issues :D :D
Take care!
From India, Madras
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Include me in the list.
This has happened many times with me where employees show their frustration. They think that HR can be shouted at for everything. And they love telling others – "I went and shouted at the HR – she was scared!" Truth is they would have been tongue-tied!
What I do nowadays is that I clearly tell them - "I am here to help you with the situation, please let me know how best I can help you. I understand you are frustrated with the situation but please calm down – take some time and then talk."
If they cross the level – I clearly say – "I am sorry, we are deviating from the purpose of this meeting – we are here to sort it out and see what the next action step should be and not let this feeling within you continue."
(I always make sure that there is drinking water in the room.)
The most important thing at this point is we should not react back with a surprise or a helpless look – just look emotionless, and let the person know that you are "waiting" to hear the actual issue and not his/her frustration.
Take a paper and pen and jot down all points. I even note down whatever terms they use like – "u hr ppl… this company…" This is because they will be aware of whatever words they use. They will calm down. (In that way, even you calm down.)
If on the phone, I will never react and just say "I am sorry I am helpless, but this was something you should have planned. We still have time left and there is no harm in deciding what can be done next to avoid such situations."
If they cross the level – please tell them – meet me later today, and we can see what best can be done.
Priyanka, if he gets back to you say that you have no control over the actions of the system guy, and he is just doing what he is supposed to do. If he is looking at someone to yell at, you are not the right person. If he can discuss without raising his voice, tell him you are open to talking. Else, he needs time to clear his anger and get back and talk when his head is cool. At these times - after saying twice or thrice if he still yells, just politely tell him that you are walking out and can be called when he clears his anger - not through you though!
Just be strict, and I am sure this person will get back to say sorry. Please tell (not ask) tell him – to keep his cool while talking and the next time he requires anything, he needs to put it across with the right words and not loud words. He is spoiling his own image, and people may start thinking that he is a short-tempered person and never approachable.
The senior management will not mind this at all - but that does not mean that we have to take everything! In this case, we should take control of the situation.
Good Luck! and forget about this guy who wants a place changed. He is so childish to fight for all that…so you know what level of person he is! Just a kid... and don't show your frustration to him...
Hey, usually men come with such silly issues :D :D
Take care!
From India, Madras
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Hey Preeti and Priyanka,
Include me in the list.
This has happened many times with me where employees show their frustration. They think that HR can be shouted at for everything. And they love telling others – "I went and shouted at the HR – she was scared…!" The truth is they would have been tongue-tied!
What I do nowadays is that I clearly tell them - "I am here to help you with the situation, please let me know how best I can help you. I understand you are frustrated with the situation but please calm down – take some time and then talk."
If they cross the line – I clearly say – "I am sorry, we are deviating from the purpose of this meeting – we are here to sort it out and see what the next action step should be and not let this feeling within you continue."
(I always make sure that there is drinking water in the room.)
The most important thing at this point is we should not react back with surprise or a helpless look – just look emotionless and let the person know that you are "waiting" to hear the actual issue and not his/her frustration.
Take a paper and pen and jot down all points. I even note down whatever terms they use like – "u hr ppl… this company…" This is because they will be aware of whatever words they use. They will calm down. (In that way even you calm down.)
If on the phone, I will never react and just say "I am sorry I am helpless, but this was something you should have planned. We still have time left, and there is no harm in deciding what can be done next to avoid such situations."
If they cross the line – please tell them – meet me later today, and we can see what best can be done.
Priyanka, if he gets back to you, say that you have no control over the actions of the system guy, and he is just doing what he is supposed to do. If he is looking for someone to yell at, you are not the right person. If he can discuss without raising his voice, tell him you are open to talking. Else, he needs time to clear his anger and get back and talk when his head is cool. At these times - after saying twice or thrice if he still yells, just politely tell him that you are walking out and can be called when he clears his anger - not through you though!
Just be strict, and I am sure this person will get back to say sorry. Please tell (not ask) tell him – to keep his cool while talking and the next time he requires anything he needs to put it across with the right words and not loud words. He is spoiling his image, and people may start thinking that he is a short-tempered person and never approachable.
The senior management will not mind this at all - but that does not mean that we have to take everything! In this case, we should take control of the situation.
Good Luck! and forget about this guy who wants a place changed. He is so childish to fight for all that... so you know what level of person he is! Just a kid... and don't show your frustration to him...
Hey usually men come with such silly issues :D :D
Take care!
From India, Madras
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Include me in the list.
This has happened many times with me where employees show their frustration. They think that HR can be shouted at for everything. And they love telling others – "I went and shouted at the HR – she was scared…!" The truth is they would have been tongue-tied!
What I do nowadays is that I clearly tell them - "I am here to help you with the situation, please let me know how best I can help you. I understand you are frustrated with the situation but please calm down – take some time and then talk."
If they cross the line – I clearly say – "I am sorry, we are deviating from the purpose of this meeting – we are here to sort it out and see what the next action step should be and not let this feeling within you continue."
(I always make sure that there is drinking water in the room.)
The most important thing at this point is we should not react back with surprise or a helpless look – just look emotionless and let the person know that you are "waiting" to hear the actual issue and not his/her frustration.
Take a paper and pen and jot down all points. I even note down whatever terms they use like – "u hr ppl… this company…" This is because they will be aware of whatever words they use. They will calm down. (In that way even you calm down.)
If on the phone, I will never react and just say "I am sorry I am helpless, but this was something you should have planned. We still have time left, and there is no harm in deciding what can be done next to avoid such situations."
If they cross the line – please tell them – meet me later today, and we can see what best can be done.
Priyanka, if he gets back to you, say that you have no control over the actions of the system guy, and he is just doing what he is supposed to do. If he is looking for someone to yell at, you are not the right person. If he can discuss without raising his voice, tell him you are open to talking. Else, he needs time to clear his anger and get back and talk when his head is cool. At these times - after saying twice or thrice if he still yells, just politely tell him that you are walking out and can be called when he clears his anger - not through you though!
Just be strict, and I am sure this person will get back to say sorry. Please tell (not ask) tell him – to keep his cool while talking and the next time he requires anything he needs to put it across with the right words and not loud words. He is spoiling his image, and people may start thinking that he is a short-tempered person and never approachable.
The senior management will not mind this at all - but that does not mean that we have to take everything! In this case, we should take control of the situation.
Good Luck! and forget about this guy who wants a place changed. He is so childish to fight for all that... so you know what level of person he is! Just a kid... and don't show your frustration to him...
Hey usually men come with such silly issues :D :D
Take care!
From India, Madras
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Asha good reply.. But except for the last sentence u used on men is something I hope to be taken in lighter side!!!!
From India, Kochi
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From India, Kochi
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Very true Raghav - I only meant it on the lighter side. Women to women - will not be an employee issue, it will be a life long rivalry! Hey all out there just kidding!
From India, Madras
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From India, Madras
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Hello Priyanka & Preeti,
Ravi has hit the bull's eye. Try to get to the root cause of the behavior.
Asha has a lot of experience in such things, looks like it :D. But seriously, she has some good points which both of you should follow.
I wish to add the following to handle it in a different way.
1) First and foremost, remember that if you tell a guy [or girl] to calm down when he/she is shouting, THAT'S THE SUREST WAY to ensure an INCREASE IN THE VOLUME. Whether we like it or not, the usual human nature is such... we tend to do what's prohibited [just watch some kids to understand this better, or even adults regarding smoking, drinking, etc]. The better way to handle such a situation is to TAKE CONTROL of the situation from the other person. If you are asking him/her to slow down, you are giving the control to him/her--notice the difference? Suggest telling him: I agree with you FULLY that this definitely needs to be resolved, but then let's sit without any disturbance later and sort it out....the idea is to BREAK THE MEETING AT THAT POINT OF TIME when it's likely to go out of control. Got it? Don't say it... do something unobtrusively to break it. BUT ENSURE YOU CALL HIM LATER TO HAVE THE MEETING when you think his temper is cooler.
2) Priyanka-- I think you made a mistake by shifting the responsibility onto the Sys admin guy--this was YOUR problem to resolve. The problem the guy projected was... "currently causes a lot of disturbance to him and he can't concentrate because people have discussions near his desk." So what has the sys admin guy got to do with it- this was more of a PHYSICAL seating issue, not a computer-related one? First, you should have checked it out if the given reason was INDEED CORRECT.... AGREE OR NOT? Go to the seat of this guy and judge for yourself, and if he was really speaking the truth, then maybe you would have decided the older employee was more important than the trainee? Handling the assignment of the sys admin aspect is never a problem-you could have known it if you went into a slight more depth on how the sys admin guys assign the IDs, etc [it takes a few minutes].
Jotting down the points... including the language/words-like Asha suggested is always effective. Then read it out loud... including the language/words. As far as the guy is concerned, you are reading it loud to ensure YOU have clarity on what the problem is, and what needs to be done... but the more subtle reason is for him to hear for himself the words he used. Then you don't have to ask for a sorry... it will come automatically and sincerely if his was an unintentional behavior or was due to some other pressure. It's always better to CREATE a situation where the person realizes his/her mistake, rather than telling him/her--not that this is true all the times. In such extreme cases, you need to be blunt... but I don't think what both of you mentioned fall into that category. It was more of a HANDLING issue. And escalate things to the director level ONLY AS THE LAST RESORT... think both from the HEAD and the HEART before you decide you have exhausted all options.
Regards,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
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Ravi has hit the bull's eye. Try to get to the root cause of the behavior.
Asha has a lot of experience in such things, looks like it :D. But seriously, she has some good points which both of you should follow.
I wish to add the following to handle it in a different way.
1) First and foremost, remember that if you tell a guy [or girl] to calm down when he/she is shouting, THAT'S THE SUREST WAY to ensure an INCREASE IN THE VOLUME. Whether we like it or not, the usual human nature is such... we tend to do what's prohibited [just watch some kids to understand this better, or even adults regarding smoking, drinking, etc]. The better way to handle such a situation is to TAKE CONTROL of the situation from the other person. If you are asking him/her to slow down, you are giving the control to him/her--notice the difference? Suggest telling him: I agree with you FULLY that this definitely needs to be resolved, but then let's sit without any disturbance later and sort it out....the idea is to BREAK THE MEETING AT THAT POINT OF TIME when it's likely to go out of control. Got it? Don't say it... do something unobtrusively to break it. BUT ENSURE YOU CALL HIM LATER TO HAVE THE MEETING when you think his temper is cooler.
2) Priyanka-- I think you made a mistake by shifting the responsibility onto the Sys admin guy--this was YOUR problem to resolve. The problem the guy projected was... "currently causes a lot of disturbance to him and he can't concentrate because people have discussions near his desk." So what has the sys admin guy got to do with it- this was more of a PHYSICAL seating issue, not a computer-related one? First, you should have checked it out if the given reason was INDEED CORRECT.... AGREE OR NOT? Go to the seat of this guy and judge for yourself, and if he was really speaking the truth, then maybe you would have decided the older employee was more important than the trainee? Handling the assignment of the sys admin aspect is never a problem-you could have known it if you went into a slight more depth on how the sys admin guys assign the IDs, etc [it takes a few minutes].
Jotting down the points... including the language/words-like Asha suggested is always effective. Then read it out loud... including the language/words. As far as the guy is concerned, you are reading it loud to ensure YOU have clarity on what the problem is, and what needs to be done... but the more subtle reason is for him to hear for himself the words he used. Then you don't have to ask for a sorry... it will come automatically and sincerely if his was an unintentional behavior or was due to some other pressure. It's always better to CREATE a situation where the person realizes his/her mistake, rather than telling him/her--not that this is true all the times. In such extreme cases, you need to be blunt... but I don't think what both of you mentioned fall into that category. It was more of a HANDLING issue. And escalate things to the director level ONLY AS THE LAST RESORT... think both from the HEAD and the HEART before you decide you have exhausted all options.
Regards,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
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Nothing to worry about this. Two or three such incidents will enable you to gain the required experience to deal with such situations in the future. All HR employees undergo such situations and learn from experience. There is no perfect solution when dealing with human beings. Rather, cheer up and introspect on how you could have avoided this in the first place and what you will do if such cases are repeated in the future. The answer lies within you.
Regards, Suresh
From India, Mumbai
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Regards, Suresh
From India, Mumbai
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I am really laughing when Asha says men always come for such silly issues (I think that man was frustrated by his wife :D :D)...
Hey Priyanka and Preeti, calm down. Generally, people don't like HR personnel in their office. So, for an HR person, they should be emotionless, a good motivator, and a problem solver. Forget it and look for some new issues :D.
Asha & TS explained everything, so we don't need to say anymore.
From India, Pune
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Hey Priyanka and Preeti, calm down. Generally, people don't like HR personnel in their office. So, for an HR person, they should be emotionless, a good motivator, and a problem solver. Forget it and look for some new issues :D.
Asha & TS explained everything, so we don't need to say anymore.
From India, Pune
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Hi,
Very valuable inputs from all! I have been lucky; first, no one ever shouted, and management has always protected my ego. There was one difficult employee. Difficult because he was normally known for his temper tantrums, and our director was nice to inform me on the first day briefly about the odd one out types...
Having always a director's support is good, and letting people know that you are backed by management as a good HR is even better! So from the first day, try to build up all such strategic alliances with key people in the organization to have many benefits such as:
1 - People know you as an HR pro, to what extent you can handle a case with desired maturity.
2 - If you are going to deal with a difficult character, chances are sometimes you know even before the person comes to you what could be the issue for which the person is approaching you.
3 - You can display your unbiased decisions and justify your actions; it is through employees only you can influence employees, and it is like you are responding to FAQs many times in a span of time.
4 - If someone shouts too, other peer pressure will act on them to cool down and apologize.
5 - And maintain a calm and poised stance when someone is highly emotional, give them time. Once they stop for a breath, ask if they are cool now, and you can have a meaningful discussion. Someone always maintaining calm and composed looks and suddenly getting upset or angry is always given more importance than someone getting angry on a fly... so you too will have your turn to say it is easy getting upset, but at the end of the day, we spend more hours in the office than at home, so better to maintain a harmonious atmosphere in the workplace too. 😃
Thanks Geeta :)
From Korea, Seoul
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Very valuable inputs from all! I have been lucky; first, no one ever shouted, and management has always protected my ego. There was one difficult employee. Difficult because he was normally known for his temper tantrums, and our director was nice to inform me on the first day briefly about the odd one out types...
Having always a director's support is good, and letting people know that you are backed by management as a good HR is even better! So from the first day, try to build up all such strategic alliances with key people in the organization to have many benefits such as:
1 - People know you as an HR pro, to what extent you can handle a case with desired maturity.
2 - If you are going to deal with a difficult character, chances are sometimes you know even before the person comes to you what could be the issue for which the person is approaching you.
3 - You can display your unbiased decisions and justify your actions; it is through employees only you can influence employees, and it is like you are responding to FAQs many times in a span of time.
4 - If someone shouts too, other peer pressure will act on them to cool down and apologize.
5 - And maintain a calm and poised stance when someone is highly emotional, give them time. Once they stop for a breath, ask if they are cool now, and you can have a meaningful discussion. Someone always maintaining calm and composed looks and suddenly getting upset or angry is always given more importance than someone getting angry on a fly... so you too will have your turn to say it is easy getting upset, but at the end of the day, we spend more hours in the office than at home, so better to maintain a harmonious atmosphere in the workplace too. 😃
Thanks Geeta :)
From Korea, Seoul
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