Earlier, I was in a different team, and in my team, there were all guys. The advantage of working with guys is that they aren't nosy and don't ask you personal questions. But working with female colleagues can be a pain at times. Of course, we gel up and relate with the same gender more compared to the opposite gender, but females can be nosy at times. Not all, but some of them. They want to know many or everything about you. I myself am female, and no offense to other females in general, but I faced this with many female employees in my current and previous organizations. They can go overboard by asking you personal questions which you're not comfortable answering. Are you married? And if you pause answering this, they get it that you're divorced, and they will have further questions - why were you divorced? What is your age? Do you love your husband? Why aren't you wearing mangalsutra? Do you have a boyfriend? etc. And they have a habit of bragging. I don't want to sound rude by telling them "no personal questions" or "be professional" because I am new there, and they have been working there before me. So I may need their help for work in the future, so I can't afford to offend them. But their questions can be irritating at times.
I like to be friendly with people. But some people just take advantage of this friendliness, and if their comfort level increases with you, they tend to ask you personal questions. The day when I joined, one lady started asking my age and marital status, etc. And from my facial expression, she learned that I am divorced, so she said, "I understood," and her further question was - why were you divorced? I told her "No personal questions, please." The next day, she was reacting rudely and not helping me in learning my new work. It was very immature of her. Our TL is also not leading us properly. I don't want to go to HR for such small matters. At times, I wouldn't mind sharing my personal details to some extent, but some females do a lot of back-biting and badmouthing. But working with this type of team can be irritating. I am missing my old team with guys.
From India, Ahmadabad
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6I like to be friendly with people. But some people just take advantage of this friendliness, and if their comfort level increases with you, they tend to ask you personal questions. The day when I joined, one lady started asking my age and marital status, etc. And from my facial expression, she learned that I am divorced, so she said, "I understood," and her further question was - why were you divorced? I told her "No personal questions, please." The next day, she was reacting rudely and not helping me in learning my new work. It was very immature of her. Our TL is also not leading us properly. I don't want to go to HR for such small matters. At times, I wouldn't mind sharing my personal details to some extent, but some females do a lot of back-biting and badmouthing. But working with this type of team can be irritating. I am missing my old team with guys.
From India, Ahmadabad
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Dear friend,
I have gone through your post. It is unfortunate that you are facing this problem. The fault lies with your HR department. During the induction, they should have informed all employees not to ask personal questions. Many companies strictly enforce this rule. However, one can share something personal voluntarily.
Approaching HR is not inherently wrong. They should establish policies on business etiquette and office decorum.
Ok...
DVD
From India, Bangalore
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I have gone through your post. It is unfortunate that you are facing this problem. The fault lies with your HR department. During the induction, they should have informed all employees not to ask personal questions. Many companies strictly enforce this rule. However, one can share something personal voluntarily.
Approaching HR is not inherently wrong. They should establish policies on business etiquette and office decorum.
Ok...
DVD
From India, Bangalore
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Hello,
I am fully in agreement with DVD--I think you surely need to approach HR. But a word of caution: please ensure that you DON'T give any impression that you wish to 'complain', but rather come for resolving a delicate issue. Any HR--with a semblance of decorum and caring for the good of the organization--will definitely help you out in handling the situation.
While I can't vouch for it, IN ALL PROBABILITY, the HR would have faced such situations earlier--either within your company or elsewhere--and they would be better placed to guide you in handling yours, since quite often, what works in one company MAY NOT necessarily work in another company.
All the Best.
Rgds,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
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I am fully in agreement with DVD--I think you surely need to approach HR. But a word of caution: please ensure that you DON'T give any impression that you wish to 'complain', but rather come for resolving a delicate issue. Any HR--with a semblance of decorum and caring for the good of the organization--will definitely help you out in handling the situation.
While I can't vouch for it, IN ALL PROBABILITY, the HR would have faced such situations earlier--either within your company or elsewhere--and they would be better placed to guide you in handling yours, since quite often, what works in one company MAY NOT necessarily work in another company.
All the Best.
Rgds,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
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Dear,
Being human tendency, some of the guys working with you try to indulge in the personal life of an individual, and in some cases, it proves miserable to handle the situation, particularly in the case of new joinings. I agree with the view put up by learned forum members and am of the opinion that you have advised your HR to frame a policy to deal with this type of peculiar situation/questions.
Regards,
R. B. Yadav
From India, Gurugram
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Being human tendency, some of the guys working with you try to indulge in the personal life of an individual, and in some cases, it proves miserable to handle the situation, particularly in the case of new joinings. I agree with the view put up by learned forum members and am of the opinion that you have advised your HR to frame a policy to deal with this type of peculiar situation/questions.
Regards,
R. B. Yadav
From India, Gurugram
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General Indian mentality of asking. As a guy, many people ask me certain questions that piss me off, like your age, salary, marriage, etc. I feel like taking a stone and crushing their head.
And in your case, it's just ladies with their usual activities/nature of gossiping. As we all know, women love to gossip ;). When working with colleagues, it's a natural tendency to ask some personal questions like where you live, what conveyance you use. As you get to know your colleagues more, either your interaction increases or decreases. The women who found out about your divorce must be some local traditional women who don't know how to value a person's privacy and where to stop. People here have wild imaginations, and she must have imagined something wild about your divorce without even knowing the actual reason. Hence, she must be avoiding you, following traditional Indian trends right from not giving widowed women respect to all those superstitious beliefs. The best thing to do is focus on your work, seek help from this site, and convey a message to those people so they know their limits.
From India, Madras
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And in your case, it's just ladies with their usual activities/nature of gossiping. As we all know, women love to gossip ;). When working with colleagues, it's a natural tendency to ask some personal questions like where you live, what conveyance you use. As you get to know your colleagues more, either your interaction increases or decreases. The women who found out about your divorce must be some local traditional women who don't know how to value a person's privacy and where to stop. People here have wild imaginations, and she must have imagined something wild about your divorce without even knowing the actual reason. Hence, she must be avoiding you, following traditional Indian trends right from not giving widowed women respect to all those superstitious beliefs. The best thing to do is focus on your work, seek help from this site, and convey a message to those people so they know their limits.
From India, Madras
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Hi,
I do agree with the group. You need to professionally handle such situations. In many cases, even men are harassed in a similar fashion, with questions like - "oh, you are separated, no children, why?" Professionalism in one's role can only handle such situations. In India, gossip and checking of details are a common practice. Handle with a smile and avoid with a smile. That's my advice.
From India, Bangalore
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I do agree with the group. You need to professionally handle such situations. In many cases, even men are harassed in a similar fashion, with questions like - "oh, you are separated, no children, why?" Professionalism in one's role can only handle such situations. In India, gossip and checking of details are a common practice. Handle with a smile and avoid with a smile. That's my advice.
From India, Bangalore
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Hello,
I think it would be inappropriate to blame the HR for not making policies, as this is very personalized and differs from person to person. I would suggest a different approach, as rightly pointed out above, that these situations have to be handled and avoided with a smile (although it is unpleasant). Merely not answering the question or diverting the topic might also help. The wise person will understand that they should not probe into such personal questions. Also, you can have some answers ready to tackle such situations diplomatically; I think this is better than outright refusals as it may deteriorate your relations with colleagues.
When you know these situations are bound to arise, why not prepare for them and avoid ruining your relationships or even the day? You may not agree with me, and that is absolutely fine. But I just wanted to offer another perspective.
My best wishes.
Regards,
Vaishalee Parkhi
From India, Pune
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I think it would be inappropriate to blame the HR for not making policies, as this is very personalized and differs from person to person. I would suggest a different approach, as rightly pointed out above, that these situations have to be handled and avoided with a smile (although it is unpleasant). Merely not answering the question or diverting the topic might also help. The wise person will understand that they should not probe into such personal questions. Also, you can have some answers ready to tackle such situations diplomatically; I think this is better than outright refusals as it may deteriorate your relations with colleagues.
When you know these situations are bound to arise, why not prepare for them and avoid ruining your relationships or even the day? You may not agree with me, and that is absolutely fine. But I just wanted to offer another perspective.
My best wishes.
Regards,
Vaishalee Parkhi
From India, Pune
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When you are new, you should have said yes, married, with no kids, which would invite fewer questions. Even if anybody happens to come to the home, you can say you are gone on a tour. Once your comfort level increases after 1-2, you may share personal matters, but it's better to keep it to yourself as I know girls can't keep secrets. Moreover, your marital status has little to do with their friendship, so why share that detail? HR may be aware, but I don't think they will disclose that status. So next time, try not to feel uncomfortable, and yes, lies that don't harm anybody are required for tricky situations.
From India, Bangalore
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From India, Bangalore
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Dear Anonymous,
Honestly, no one has a right to intrude in someone else's personal life, no matter what.
At the same time, what you said is also true. Females have a tendency to ask such questions and probe more to know more. If not tackled appropriately, they get offended very easily, and that creates a problem in work.
If someone asks you a personal question next time, just smile at them and say, "Sure, we are friendly, but this is the office. I would really prefer to keep my personal and professional lives distinct so that I don't mix up the two and create chaos. I hope you understand. Be assured that if something is bothering me, I shall come to discuss it with you."
This would be a prompt but courteous reply rather than saying, "Stay out of it."
Always remember that communication is the biggest key. It can both make you and break you. Always keep it sugar-coated. Also, always smile to ensure that you're being very humble in your response.
Hope this helps.
From India, Mumbai
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Honestly, no one has a right to intrude in someone else's personal life, no matter what.
At the same time, what you said is also true. Females have a tendency to ask such questions and probe more to know more. If not tackled appropriately, they get offended very easily, and that creates a problem in work.
If someone asks you a personal question next time, just smile at them and say, "Sure, we are friendly, but this is the office. I would really prefer to keep my personal and professional lives distinct so that I don't mix up the two and create chaos. I hope you understand. Be assured that if something is bothering me, I shall come to discuss it with you."
This would be a prompt but courteous reply rather than saying, "Stay out of it."
Always remember that communication is the biggest key. It can both make you and break you. Always keep it sugar-coated. Also, always smile to ensure that you're being very humble in your response.
Hope this helps.
From India, Mumbai
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This type of behavior is related to etiquettes/mannerisms. What role will HR play in such circumstances? HR is not a police force to put a blanket ban on such attitudes. Colleagues tend to know about others which are not required for them, like curiosity to know others' CTC, their personal matters, etc. It is better that one should not get upset when another asks unwanted queries, just by pausing in silence.
Pon
From India, Lucknow
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Pon
From India, Lucknow
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In the UK, when personal questions are asked, and if they do not want to answer, they just touch their nose with their fingers. It means do not be "nosy". Like Swami Anubhavananda says in his lectures, it is best to change the topic and completely avoid answering personal questions. Once we start answering one question, the questions multiply.
From United Kingdom
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From United Kingdom
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Hi,
When I face situations where I do not want to give out information, all I do is smile and ask the other person politely, "Why do you want to know?" In almost all cases, the question stops there and then or is diverted. I don't think your HR would be of much help.
Take care
From India, Delhi
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When I face situations where I do not want to give out information, all I do is smile and ask the other person politely, "Why do you want to know?" In almost all cases, the question stops there and then or is diverted. I don't think your HR would be of much help.
Take care
From India, Delhi
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Hi,
I fully agree with Ankita. You will have to refuse them politely. Just smile politely, ignore the question, and ask them a work-related question. However, there are many who are overly curious as if their world depends on your answer, and they will not give up easily. If they press you, just say, "Thanks for the interest, but I prefer to focus on work while in the office."
Please remember you don't have to worry about what people think, as we are just colleagues, and it is best to make it known at the earliest.
Regards,
Anita
From India, Mumbai
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I fully agree with Ankita. You will have to refuse them politely. Just smile politely, ignore the question, and ask them a work-related question. However, there are many who are overly curious as if their world depends on your answer, and they will not give up easily. If they press you, just say, "Thanks for the interest, but I prefer to focus on work while in the office."
Please remember you don't have to worry about what people think, as we are just colleagues, and it is best to make it known at the earliest.
Regards,
Anita
From India, Mumbai
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Hi,
Gents also intrude and ask personal details, at least from male colleagues, but may avoid doing the same with ladies. These kinds of situations are difficult to avoid as one comes across all types of colleagues. I agree with most of what has been suggested and would like to suggest the following:
1. If possible, do not allow emotions to show. So what, so many people split. It is not a crime.
2. Try and answer with a smile and say, "I am uncomfortable with this and request you not to broach this subject, even though I know that you mean well and are a well-wisher."
3. Never breakdown. Be strong. The best is yet to come so never feel down in the dump.
4. Be polite but avoid, if possible, those who are in the habit of asking personal questions.
5. First handle it yourself. Approach HR only if it becomes unmanageable.
Always remember THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
Regards, Col. Suresh Rathi
From India, Delhi
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Gents also intrude and ask personal details, at least from male colleagues, but may avoid doing the same with ladies. These kinds of situations are difficult to avoid as one comes across all types of colleagues. I agree with most of what has been suggested and would like to suggest the following:
1. If possible, do not allow emotions to show. So what, so many people split. It is not a crime.
2. Try and answer with a smile and say, "I am uncomfortable with this and request you not to broach this subject, even though I know that you mean well and are a well-wisher."
3. Never breakdown. Be strong. The best is yet to come so never feel down in the dump.
4. Be polite but avoid, if possible, those who are in the habit of asking personal questions.
5. First handle it yourself. Approach HR only if it becomes unmanageable.
Always remember THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
Regards, Col. Suresh Rathi
From India, Delhi
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Man, by nature, is a social animal (they live in groups). They just want to know about you. This curiosity is present in all humans. I don't think one can survive or succeed without divulging their marital status in any organization. Maybe asking questions about salary would be uncultured. Yet, these are essential personal questions that you can gently answer.
From India, Bangalore
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From India, Bangalore
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Hi friends,
I agree with Vaishalee Parkhi. You have to be very diplomatic in answering such questions. Even a team leader may be very inquisitive in collecting your personal and professional information so that his task of managing the team is simplified. Different persons are to be handled differently, and unless a team leader gathers some personal information, his task of knowing each member of the team may not be complete. Take it sportingly to avoid any tangles in the team, and you will be comfortable. Share only what you are supposed to and keep your self-esteem high always.
Regards,
Ram Singh
From India, Mumbai
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I agree with Vaishalee Parkhi. You have to be very diplomatic in answering such questions. Even a team leader may be very inquisitive in collecting your personal and professional information so that his task of managing the team is simplified. Different persons are to be handled differently, and unless a team leader gathers some personal information, his task of knowing each member of the team may not be complete. Take it sportingly to avoid any tangles in the team, and you will be comfortable. Share only what you are supposed to and keep your self-esteem high always.
Regards,
Ram Singh
From India, Mumbai
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Hi,
I fully agree with Vaishalee Parkhi. Whenever some people ask about your personal details, you have to answer diplomatically and avoid it with a smile. It is the best way to handle the situation.
Regards,
Sarwan
From Vietnam, Tây Ninh
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I fully agree with Vaishalee Parkhi. Whenever some people ask about your personal details, you have to answer diplomatically and avoid it with a smile. It is the best way to handle the situation.
Regards,
Sarwan
From Vietnam, Tây Ninh
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Many members have given good practical suggestions. All that I can add is that do not show that you are irritated with such invasive queries. Some people get sadistic pleasure in seeing others irritated and try to rub salt into the wound. So, do not show them that you are irritated. Smile, divert the topic, ask some difficult work-related questions to them so that they go away. If sometimes all this is not possible, tell them you will let them know the secret 'afterwards'!
From India, Madras
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From India, Madras
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Hi Anonymous,
I fully agree with Vaishalee. She has given the best suggestion. Just smile away on some questions, and if at all made to answer, give some very vague answers while exploring the best way to change the topic. Practicing this for some time will send the right signal. I am telling you from my own experience. I am a bachelor, and colleagues used to ask me why I am not marrying? Do I have an unmarried sister? Is there any other problem? Are my parents demanding dowry? (although they never). Am I not worried about who shall look after me in old age? etc., etc. The colleagues were otherwise helpful in work but could not stop probing my personal life. Then I decided to handle all this tactfully so that they are not hurt nor do I have to part with information which is not necessary for them. So try my trick. All the best!
S.K. LIMAYE
From India, New Delhi
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I fully agree with Vaishalee. She has given the best suggestion. Just smile away on some questions, and if at all made to answer, give some very vague answers while exploring the best way to change the topic. Practicing this for some time will send the right signal. I am telling you from my own experience. I am a bachelor, and colleagues used to ask me why I am not marrying? Do I have an unmarried sister? Is there any other problem? Are my parents demanding dowry? (although they never). Am I not worried about who shall look after me in old age? etc., etc. The colleagues were otherwise helpful in work but could not stop probing my personal life. Then I decided to handle all this tactfully so that they are not hurt nor do I have to part with information which is not necessary for them. So try my trick. All the best!
S.K. LIMAYE
From India, New Delhi
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Hi,
I agree that ladies are a bit curious as well as sentimental. They can be very inquisitive in collecting personal and professional information, but they are not dangerous. Like you, I also worked for a very long time with guys and very few ladies and am now working with only female staff. Being a woman myself, I did not know how to handle other women. Trust me, while some may irritate with silly questions, ladies are always cooperative. They will come forward to help you in times of difficulties, as they can understand your problems well and try to protect you from men who may try to take advantage.
If you are comfortable, you can share your feelings with one or two people so that you will feel lighter knowing you have someone to confide in. Otherwise, as suggested by many, you can politely show them that you are not comfortable with personal questions.
Men also try to collect personal details through others, and some may take advantage of the situation. I once had a manager who tried to gather information about my relationship with my husband through another female colleague, even though I had no family problems. In one of my previous offices, married men misbehaved with unmarried female staff members who were around 29 or 30 years old. Additionally, some men took advantage of female colleagues whose husbands were away or abroad. I am not blaming the male gender, but rather trying to convey that both good and bad qualities are inherent to all humans and are not biased by gender.
So, my dear friend, relax and enjoy working with the new setup.
Rathna
From India, Bangalore
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I agree that ladies are a bit curious as well as sentimental. They can be very inquisitive in collecting personal and professional information, but they are not dangerous. Like you, I also worked for a very long time with guys and very few ladies and am now working with only female staff. Being a woman myself, I did not know how to handle other women. Trust me, while some may irritate with silly questions, ladies are always cooperative. They will come forward to help you in times of difficulties, as they can understand your problems well and try to protect you from men who may try to take advantage.
If you are comfortable, you can share your feelings with one or two people so that you will feel lighter knowing you have someone to confide in. Otherwise, as suggested by many, you can politely show them that you are not comfortable with personal questions.
Men also try to collect personal details through others, and some may take advantage of the situation. I once had a manager who tried to gather information about my relationship with my husband through another female colleague, even though I had no family problems. In one of my previous offices, married men misbehaved with unmarried female staff members who were around 29 or 30 years old. Additionally, some men took advantage of female colleagues whose husbands were away or abroad. I am not blaming the male gender, but rather trying to convey that both good and bad qualities are inherent to all humans and are not biased by gender.
So, my dear friend, relax and enjoy working with the new setup.
Rathna
From India, Bangalore
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Dear,
I absolutely agree with you that opposites attract. Saying this, I would like to reiterate that the opposite gender gels well. Women have a tendency to dig deep into one's personal matters. Let me tell you, no one is perfect, and you approaching HR requesting to frame some policy doesn't help.
Instead, I would suggest moving forward not to share your status with anyone except the management. Ultimately, it's a democratic country, and we have rights to privacy. As long as we are good at work, it shouldn't affect anyone's personal life.
So please go ahead and don't reveal your personal details to anyone despite knowing what will happen. Even your colleagues shouldn't know about this. Instead, you can mention that your husband is frequently traveling, etc.
Regards
From India, Coimbatore
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I absolutely agree with you that opposites attract. Saying this, I would like to reiterate that the opposite gender gels well. Women have a tendency to dig deep into one's personal matters. Let me tell you, no one is perfect, and you approaching HR requesting to frame some policy doesn't help.
Instead, I would suggest moving forward not to share your status with anyone except the management. Ultimately, it's a democratic country, and we have rights to privacy. As long as we are good at work, it shouldn't affect anyone's personal life.
So please go ahead and don't reveal your personal details to anyone despite knowing what will happen. Even your colleagues shouldn't know about this. Instead, you can mention that your husband is frequently traveling, etc.
Regards
From India, Coimbatore
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This is one of the common issues with everyone, irrespective of male or female, but it is very much appreciated that you brought it up here.
No matter how much you control and become tough, it is not possible to avoid such irrelevant questions, as some people are more interested in others' lives than their own!!
Suggestions:
1) Always answer in one word, like yes, no, good, okay.
2) Start taking the excuses and avoid such questions completely like, "I have some work," "have to make a call," "need to go to the loo," "I am concentrating on work."
3) Always give positive replies so that they never get the chance to cross-question you. This also makes them feel a kind of jealousy or complexity issues, but be bold in answering them. Just know that telling that you are doing perfect does not make you tell lies; after all, they are just perceptions and not facts.
Never share your personal matters with anyone unless it is a person who is your close friend or best friend, and people who already know you well and very close relatives. For others, it is not Ramayan or Mahabharatha to give them the pravachanas!
4) Always change the subject and discuss anything and everything except each other's personal lives and the lives of others. Never involve a person in a chat and make it a discussion. Adopt a topic and argue on it; this helps the relationships mature and enhances knowledge.
5) If they still continue to disturb you, start asking cross-questions in the manner they ask and be tough and bold in asking them.
6) If they still disturb you after all the above practices, just avoid them if that does not give you peace.
7) The last resort would be dandam dasha gunam bhaveth, tell them to their face not to ask such questions that have nothing to do with them and they are neither your supporters nor the people who undertake yours and your family's responsibilities. It will be good for both of you to be quiet and never bring up anyone's personal matters to light as it has nothing to do with any of you. Neither am I interested in listening to yours nor interested in sharing mine.
8) Always try to ask them tough questions regarding the jobs they do so that you will have control of their emotions, protecting yourself. Always make them research on asking them what they do not know and they are not good or bad at. This rather helps you both positively in a learning way.
9) Lastly, you must make up your mind not to get disturbed because of the people who are hardly related to you. Never let your mind pre-occupy and as well as think upon such feelings brought in because of others' questions. In fact, it is your weakness; you must not encourage your weakness. Try to avoid taking things seriously when it comes to your emotional imbalances. You must grow up in such cases so that you never get a chance to be hurt.
Wishing you calmness.
From India, Bangalore
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No matter how much you control and become tough, it is not possible to avoid such irrelevant questions, as some people are more interested in others' lives than their own!!
Suggestions:
1) Always answer in one word, like yes, no, good, okay.
2) Start taking the excuses and avoid such questions completely like, "I have some work," "have to make a call," "need to go to the loo," "I am concentrating on work."
3) Always give positive replies so that they never get the chance to cross-question you. This also makes them feel a kind of jealousy or complexity issues, but be bold in answering them. Just know that telling that you are doing perfect does not make you tell lies; after all, they are just perceptions and not facts.
Never share your personal matters with anyone unless it is a person who is your close friend or best friend, and people who already know you well and very close relatives. For others, it is not Ramayan or Mahabharatha to give them the pravachanas!
4) Always change the subject and discuss anything and everything except each other's personal lives and the lives of others. Never involve a person in a chat and make it a discussion. Adopt a topic and argue on it; this helps the relationships mature and enhances knowledge.
5) If they still continue to disturb you, start asking cross-questions in the manner they ask and be tough and bold in asking them.
6) If they still disturb you after all the above practices, just avoid them if that does not give you peace.
7) The last resort would be dandam dasha gunam bhaveth, tell them to their face not to ask such questions that have nothing to do with them and they are neither your supporters nor the people who undertake yours and your family's responsibilities. It will be good for both of you to be quiet and never bring up anyone's personal matters to light as it has nothing to do with any of you. Neither am I interested in listening to yours nor interested in sharing mine.
8) Always try to ask them tough questions regarding the jobs they do so that you will have control of their emotions, protecting yourself. Always make them research on asking them what they do not know and they are not good or bad at. This rather helps you both positively in a learning way.
9) Lastly, you must make up your mind not to get disturbed because of the people who are hardly related to you. Never let your mind pre-occupy and as well as think upon such feelings brought in because of others' questions. In fact, it is your weakness; you must not encourage your weakness. Try to avoid taking things seriously when it comes to your emotional imbalances. You must grow up in such cases so that you never get a chance to be hurt.
Wishing you calmness.
From India, Bangalore
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Hi,
If you really intend to improve yourself and become emotionally strong, here is an attempt to help you. Please go through the attachment, spend some time understanding it well, and never fail to practice it sincerely. If you require further guidance, support, or encouragement, we are always here. You may also contact me via email if needed.
The attachment contains a PDF file of workshop material on emotional intelligence, presented in a simple and easily understandable manner. It is concise, so you can spend time on it and strengthen yourself.
Wishing you a nice day and a successful start.
From India, Bangalore
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If you really intend to improve yourself and become emotionally strong, here is an attempt to help you. Please go through the attachment, spend some time understanding it well, and never fail to practice it sincerely. If you require further guidance, support, or encouragement, we are always here. You may also contact me via email if needed.
The attachment contains a PDF file of workshop material on emotional intelligence, presented in a simple and easily understandable manner. It is concise, so you can spend time on it and strengthen yourself.
Wishing you a nice day and a successful start.
From India, Bangalore
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Those materials you have are so useful. I have read the material you have attached; it's really very helpful and well explained, good for starters. Nijavaaglu bahala upayoga agathe, shradhe irbeku asthe.
From India, Bangalore
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From India, Bangalore
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Hello,
It is very interesting to read about the various views. I have a question for all of you: Can anyone tell what they don't want to, no matter how talented the other person is? Honestly, everybody will have our own secrets. Just recollect our first day in college or a new class. The workplace is not that difficult to manage; after all, we are well-seasoned. Remember, God will not give us anything we can't handle.
With thanks & regards, Elizabeth.
From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
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It is very interesting to read about the various views. I have a question for all of you: Can anyone tell what they don't want to, no matter how talented the other person is? Honestly, everybody will have our own secrets. Just recollect our first day in college or a new class. The workplace is not that difficult to manage; after all, we are well-seasoned. Remember, God will not give us anything we can't handle.
With thanks & regards, Elizabeth.
From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
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Dear Elizabeth,
Honestly, you have raised a nice question.
Sure, we all do have secrets that we seldom share with all.
One needs to understand that while asking questions to someone, one should not overstep. For example, though it is not a secret, it sounds rude to ask a male about his salary and a female about her age. Yes, as friends, we do ask those personal questions to our peers and buddies. But if someone is not comfortable, we should refrain from asking such questions, shouldn't we?
Another thing, as you named it "Secret," it can be revealed and/or shared only with chosen people in our lives. And honestly, it should come from the person and should not be forced or a "tell me about it" kind of thing.
If one has built up a rapport and feels comfortable sharing, no one stops him or her... But what disturbs a lot is when someone is new in your group/workplace/building or wherever. Surely, one is curious to know them, but in doing so, one may overstep and ask personal questions that can't be answered by anyone you meet in your life. And the most dreaded of all - if one doesn't answer, people assume and conclude in their own way. Fifty stories by fifty people on one unanswered question and none close to the actual fact...
Hope this answers your query.
Best regards,
[Your Name]
From India, Mumbai
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Honestly, you have raised a nice question.
Sure, we all do have secrets that we seldom share with all.
One needs to understand that while asking questions to someone, one should not overstep. For example, though it is not a secret, it sounds rude to ask a male about his salary and a female about her age. Yes, as friends, we do ask those personal questions to our peers and buddies. But if someone is not comfortable, we should refrain from asking such questions, shouldn't we?
Another thing, as you named it "Secret," it can be revealed and/or shared only with chosen people in our lives. And honestly, it should come from the person and should not be forced or a "tell me about it" kind of thing.
If one has built up a rapport and feels comfortable sharing, no one stops him or her... But what disturbs a lot is when someone is new in your group/workplace/building or wherever. Surely, one is curious to know them, but in doing so, one may overstep and ask personal questions that can't be answered by anyone you meet in your life. And the most dreaded of all - if one doesn't answer, people assume and conclude in their own way. Fifty stories by fifty people on one unanswered question and none close to the actual fact...
Hope this answers your query.
Best regards,
[Your Name]
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Ankita,
Many thanks for your reply. We do really want others not to interfere in our affairs. But in reality, it is not so, and we have to overcome. These kinds of embarrassing questions are not new to us, and we face them in every walk of life. Over a period of time, we will get used to them, but I admit there are very few questions that still haunt and hurt.
The best way to avoid this is to keep yourself busy, ignore stupid questions, and anticipate and accept that when you are changing jobs, you will have to go through this.
Regards,
Elizabeth.
From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
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Many thanks for your reply. We do really want others not to interfere in our affairs. But in reality, it is not so, and we have to overcome. These kinds of embarrassing questions are not new to us, and we face them in every walk of life. Over a period of time, we will get used to them, but I admit there are very few questions that still haunt and hurt.
The best way to avoid this is to keep yourself busy, ignore stupid questions, and anticipate and accept that when you are changing jobs, you will have to go through this.
Regards,
Elizabeth.
From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
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Dear Anonymous,
I highly appreciate you sharing this question. Everyone has definitely analyzed and added their valuable suggestions. But the gist is dear - leave the past, LOVE yourself, BELIEVE in yourself. You will automatically feel secure and boost your confidence level.
You must be CONFIDENT and face situations tactfully. Nobody has the right to ask you personal questions, so don't share them at all. Never mix your personal and professional life together as people may take advantage of it, regardless of gender.
Be strong and wish for a peaceful mind.
Kind regards
From India, Nasik
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I highly appreciate you sharing this question. Everyone has definitely analyzed and added their valuable suggestions. But the gist is dear - leave the past, LOVE yourself, BELIEVE in yourself. You will automatically feel secure and boost your confidence level.
You must be CONFIDENT and face situations tactfully. Nobody has the right to ask you personal questions, so don't share them at all. Never mix your personal and professional life together as people may take advantage of it, regardless of gender.
Be strong and wish for a peaceful mind.
Kind regards
From India, Nasik
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Dear friend,
After writing the post, you could receive several comments and viewpoints. Did it satisfy your requirements? How can you prevent personal questions from your female colleagues? How did you handle the situation?
We would appreciate it if you could provide some feedback.
DVD
From India, Bangalore
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After writing the post, you could receive several comments and viewpoints. Did it satisfy your requirements? How can you prevent personal questions from your female colleagues? How did you handle the situation?
We would appreciate it if you could provide some feedback.
DVD
From India, Bangalore
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