My marriage is fixed with one person, but after finalizing it, he informed me that he provided us with false information regarding the package and even gave a fake salary slip. This revelation was truly shocking for me, as I now have to begin my life with a deceitful individual. How can I take action against him to prevent him from deceiving other women in the future? If I present his fake salary to the company, can they impose any punishment on him?
From India, Pune
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From India, Pune
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Dear member,
What has happened with you is not just unfortunate but shocking too. Nevertheless, your narration is incomplete. Please confirm the following:
a) Has the marriage been solemnized or not?
b) How was the fakery of the salary slip discovered? Who discovered it? Did the prospective groom disclose it inadvertently, or was it discovered during pre-nuptial checks?
c) Do you have a hard copy of the fake salary slip? Is there any seal and signature on the salary slip?
Yes, the submission of the fake salary slip shows the moral perversion of the individual. Nevertheless, proving it as an evil act punishable under the law is difficult. Even if you file a suit, the case will drag on for decades, and even if you win, you will not have the energy to enjoy the victory of the verdict. If you report the matter to the officials of the company where this person is employed, the company officials cannot do anything because this will not be misconduct defined under the standing orders of the company.
If you report the incident to the officials of his company, then first they may not accept your version at its face value. The other side will enjoy the benefit of the doubt. At best, they may keep him under close watch.
The incident teaches the members the importance of vigilance in life. We should never allow our guard down. Vigilance is important for everybody, be it to the nation's leader while estimating the magnitude of the pandemic or to a private citizen in his/her personal life.
For each bad event in life, we cannot start teaching a lesson to the other side. Some events teach us a lesson. It is better to learn a lesson and move on.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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8220What has happened with you is not just unfortunate but shocking too. Nevertheless, your narration is incomplete. Please confirm the following:
a) Has the marriage been solemnized or not?
b) How was the fakery of the salary slip discovered? Who discovered it? Did the prospective groom disclose it inadvertently, or was it discovered during pre-nuptial checks?
c) Do you have a hard copy of the fake salary slip? Is there any seal and signature on the salary slip?
Yes, the submission of the fake salary slip shows the moral perversion of the individual. Nevertheless, proving it as an evil act punishable under the law is difficult. Even if you file a suit, the case will drag on for decades, and even if you win, you will not have the energy to enjoy the victory of the verdict. If you report the matter to the officials of the company where this person is employed, the company officials cannot do anything because this will not be misconduct defined under the standing orders of the company.
If you report the incident to the officials of his company, then first they may not accept your version at its face value. The other side will enjoy the benefit of the doubt. At best, they may keep him under close watch.
The incident teaches the members the importance of vigilance in life. We should never allow our guard down. Vigilance is important for everybody, be it to the nation's leader while estimating the magnitude of the pandemic or to a private citizen in his/her personal life.
For each bad event in life, we cannot start teaching a lesson to the other side. Some events teach us a lesson. It is better to learn a lesson and move on.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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My is just fixed before fixing he gave us off of salary slip with 68k inhand. Later on he only told salary he have is 48k inhand. I was still fine with that. But in between due to this, I was in shock by this untrust. Still, I said we will continue, but he is saying that I am emotionally weak can't handle up down in life. As I can't bear this incidence. But I think it's natural for every girl if someone lies like this, she breaks down emotionally. Who is wrong in this case. He simply denied for marriage.
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I have corrected the spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors in the user's input. I have also ensured proper paragraph formatting with a single line break between paragraphs.
From India, Pune
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I have corrected the spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors in the user's input. I have also ensured proper paragraph formatting with a single line break between paragraphs.
From India, Pune
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He is from Bengaluru, Biocon company. If he knows he is lying for 1 month, why was he playing with my feelings? When he disclosed, first he said, "keep this between us only, don't share with anybody," but it's an arranged marriage; how can he lie to my parents? What if anything bad happens in the future? His parents are also not aware of this lie.
From India, Pune
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From India, Pune
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I would suggest that you call off the marriage. As you very rightly said, if he can give you a fake salary slip and certificate, you will be really concerned about what all he could do in the future. The lurking fear or suspicion can mar the marital life. You may have to convince your parents of this by telling facts; probably you may use some other elder member like a brother or sister, etc., to convey the message.
As for taking up the issue with the employer for producing a fake document, it is better to avoid such unpleasantness and move forward with your life. It may not be a problem for some other girl, and if he is able to find a suitable match, let him lead his life. You can give him some credit for disclosing the fact of his actual income and thank your God for knowing this deceit in advance.
From India, Mumbai
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As for taking up the issue with the employer for producing a fake document, it is better to avoid such unpleasantness and move forward with your life. It may not be a problem for some other girl, and if he is able to find a suitable match, let him lead his life. You can give him some credit for disclosing the fact of his actual income and thank your God for knowing this deceit in advance.
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Anupriya,
This is the problem with arranged marriages, especially when one of the parties lives in different towns. Maybe he went through the engagement ceremony to please his parents and now wants to end it.
It's also possible that he is testing whether you can keep a secret and whether money is more important to you than his personality.
I know of a case in which the wedding took place, but the girl would not even let her husband hold her hands. She asked the boy to divorce her so that she could marry her ex-boyfriend, with whom she was in love. Her parents knew about the boyfriend and thought she would forget him once the wedding took place. In the end, the marriage ended within 6 months, and the boy has now married another girl.
Do you work in Pune?
From United Kingdom
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This is the problem with arranged marriages, especially when one of the parties lives in different towns. Maybe he went through the engagement ceremony to please his parents and now wants to end it.
It's also possible that he is testing whether you can keep a secret and whether money is more important to you than his personality.
I know of a case in which the wedding took place, but the girl would not even let her husband hold her hands. She asked the boy to divorce her so that she could marry her ex-boyfriend, with whom she was in love. Her parents knew about the boyfriend and thought she would forget him once the wedding took place. In the end, the marriage ended within 6 months, and the boy has now married another girl.
Do you work in Pune?
From United Kingdom
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Dear friend,
As of now, the marriage proposal stands cancelled. The reason may be different according to the perceptual difference of the boy and yours. Whatever the type of marriage, unqualified and genuine love between the life partners is the undercurrent of the successful married life. Of course, as rightly observed by Mr. Simhan, in an arranged marriage, knowing one another fully before the ceremony is a matter of chance only. Even in a love marriage also, courtship can be deceptive till the marriage gets solemnized leaving the ultimate blame later to either one's own choice. Therefore, in my opinion, mind-games like the one in your case should be avoided by the man and woman both before and after marriage.
Coming to your case, the incident preceding the cancellation of the proposal is indicative of the fact that you both are too demanding and hence very fastidious in life. It is an admitted fact of life, Indian parents and brides are very concerned about the regular earnings of the groom next to caste and social status.
How did you believe that he would not be trustworthy when he himself admitted having shown inflated earnings? Divulging the same, since he also told you to keep it between yourselves, why can't it be a test for your reliability? Your strong desire for retaliation shows certainly that you would have conveyed the same to your parents and the discreet inquiry, if any done by them could have come to his knowledge and he would have taken the decision to cancel the alliance.
Marriage, in India, is not a mere social contract but a sacrament too irrespective of religious differences.
Besides, a successful married life is a matter of mutual understanding and give and take which would culminate in happy living together despite the individual differences. Interdependence is the way of life. Therefore, a man and woman with incompatible mindsets can never make themselves an ideal husband and wife.
My humble suggestion, therefore, would be dropping all further retaliatory steps and go ahead. Any such action taken by you would be absolutely difficult to prove and even if it's successful, it would be a pyrrhic victory only serving no good for your future.
From India, Salem
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As of now, the marriage proposal stands cancelled. The reason may be different according to the perceptual difference of the boy and yours. Whatever the type of marriage, unqualified and genuine love between the life partners is the undercurrent of the successful married life. Of course, as rightly observed by Mr. Simhan, in an arranged marriage, knowing one another fully before the ceremony is a matter of chance only. Even in a love marriage also, courtship can be deceptive till the marriage gets solemnized leaving the ultimate blame later to either one's own choice. Therefore, in my opinion, mind-games like the one in your case should be avoided by the man and woman both before and after marriage.
Coming to your case, the incident preceding the cancellation of the proposal is indicative of the fact that you both are too demanding and hence very fastidious in life. It is an admitted fact of life, Indian parents and brides are very concerned about the regular earnings of the groom next to caste and social status.
How did you believe that he would not be trustworthy when he himself admitted having shown inflated earnings? Divulging the same, since he also told you to keep it between yourselves, why can't it be a test for your reliability? Your strong desire for retaliation shows certainly that you would have conveyed the same to your parents and the discreet inquiry, if any done by them could have come to his knowledge and he would have taken the decision to cancel the alliance.
Marriage, in India, is not a mere social contract but a sacrament too irrespective of religious differences.
Besides, a successful married life is a matter of mutual understanding and give and take which would culminate in happy living together despite the individual differences. Interdependence is the way of life. Therefore, a man and woman with incompatible mindsets can never make themselves an ideal husband and wife.
My humble suggestion, therefore, would be dropping all further retaliatory steps and go ahead. Any such action taken by you would be absolutely difficult to prove and even if it's successful, it would be a pyrrhic victory only serving no good for your future.
From India, Salem
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Dear madam,
In this confidence-shaking situation, feeling cheated and seeking revenge is natural. However, consider the positive aspect that he disclosed his salary before marriage, allowing you to make an informed decision.
Let this be a passing bad dream and move forward. Instead of focusing on teaching him a lesson, concentrate on learning how to be content with all aspects of the next relationship and approach life-changing decisions cautiously.
Regards,
Vinayak Nagarkar
HR and Employee Relations Consultant
From India, Mumbai
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In this confidence-shaking situation, feeling cheated and seeking revenge is natural. However, consider the positive aspect that he disclosed his salary before marriage, allowing you to make an informed decision.
Let this be a passing bad dream and move forward. Instead of focusing on teaching him a lesson, concentrate on learning how to be content with all aspects of the next relationship and approach life-changing decisions cautiously.
Regards,
Vinayak Nagarkar
HR and Employee Relations Consultant
From India, Mumbai
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Consider that you are a lucky one; God has saved you from being a scapegoat by revealing the truth. It would be better for you to remain calm rather than dwelling in falsehood. Try to forget this incident as a bad dream.
If you are not finding mental peace, you can take two actions: (1) Send a copy of the false pay slip to the company head, detailing the situation, along with a copy of the police complaint. (2) Lodge a complaint at the police station under Section 420.
From India, Mumbai
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If you are not finding mental peace, you can take two actions: (1) Send a copy of the false pay slip to the company head, detailing the situation, along with a copy of the police complaint. (2) Lodge a complaint at the police station under Section 420.
From India, Mumbai
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