If you overdo it, you make enemies. If you avoid it too much, you become a pushover.
Sharing an article on how to criticize or How to call someone an idiot in the right way, so that instead of harming your career, it helps it.
From India, Delhi
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248Sharing an article on how to criticize or How to call someone an idiot in the right way, so that instead of harming your career, it helps it.
From India, Delhi
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Is there any need for one to either criticize or point out one as an idiot? Why don't we help people to make the best use of their common sense, sense of humor, and apply logic to enable themselves to be known as a matured personality.
With profound regards
From India, Chennai
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With profound regards
From India, Chennai
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@skhadir: You raised an important point.
"Calling an idiot" is a metaphor for those stressful situations when you want to assert yourself, stand up for yourself, when you suffer injustice and want to tell your boss you are not happy about it or when your peer tries to push through his inferior ideas or when a talented but difficult to manage subordinate does not deliver. You are right about using logic, humor, and common sense to resolve the situation maturely. If you read the article, that's exactly what it says. We are on the same page here. No one is literally calling anybody an idiot - so let's get that out of the table.
In the real organizations, such things happen. One needs to know how to be assertive without being offensive. One needs to know how to stand up for oneself whether it is his boss, equal, or a junior.
From India, Delhi
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"Calling an idiot" is a metaphor for those stressful situations when you want to assert yourself, stand up for yourself, when you suffer injustice and want to tell your boss you are not happy about it or when your peer tries to push through his inferior ideas or when a talented but difficult to manage subordinate does not deliver. You are right about using logic, humor, and common sense to resolve the situation maturely. If you read the article, that's exactly what it says. We are on the same page here. No one is literally calling anybody an idiot - so let's get that out of the table.
In the real organizations, such things happen. One needs to know how to be assertive without being offensive. One needs to know how to stand up for oneself whether it is his boss, equal, or a junior.
From India, Delhi
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I would like to share my personal experience at the office. I was a part of a small team of girls, including my manager. She was very close to one of my counterparts just because they had been together for the last 3 years. Whenever new work came in, she used to assign it to me and enjoy her days with the other girl. They both didn't work and didn't even bother to support the rest of us in the team. If we asked, the reply was, "That is what you are hired for."
There were a lot of issues in the team because of her prejudiced behavior. She is an IDIOT. I had a word with her regarding this in an assertive way but it yielded no solutions. The same happened when I spoke to the head of the BU. And finally, I quit.
Kindly suggest what I should do now if I face the same issues in a new firm. Any suggestions would be helpful.
Thanks,
Shilpi
From India, Bangalore
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There were a lot of issues in the team because of her prejudiced behavior. She is an IDIOT. I had a word with her regarding this in an assertive way but it yielded no solutions. The same happened when I spoke to the head of the BU. And finally, I quit.
Kindly suggest what I should do now if I face the same issues in a new firm. Any suggestions would be helpful.
Thanks,
Shilpi
From India, Bangalore
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I think you did the right thing.
As a subordinate, there is only so much you can do to get your boss to hear, and if he/she doesn't, your life is too precious to waste getting stressed under a jerk.
Having said that, just a word of caution - do check if you are not missing something in your blind spot. Objectively see if a) the boss indeed treated you unfairly, and b) if any of your behavior traits were negative - without any bias and sympathy for yourself.
If you get anything that points to some weakness of yours, rectify it. If it doesn't, be happy, close the chapter, and look ahead.
There are good bosses and there are bad ones. You won't get all bad ones (if you do, then the problem may not be with the bosses) and you won't get all good ones.
If in the future, you get a bad boss - well, talk to him, discuss with him, try to bring him on to resolve the issue, maybe talk to other higher-ups and be okay with a little bit of unfairness. If that doesn't work and it starts getting to your head and bringing you down, do what you did in this case - change the job.
From India, Delhi
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As a subordinate, there is only so much you can do to get your boss to hear, and if he/she doesn't, your life is too precious to waste getting stressed under a jerk.
Having said that, just a word of caution - do check if you are not missing something in your blind spot. Objectively see if a) the boss indeed treated you unfairly, and b) if any of your behavior traits were negative - without any bias and sympathy for yourself.
If you get anything that points to some weakness of yours, rectify it. If it doesn't, be happy, close the chapter, and look ahead.
There are good bosses and there are bad ones. You won't get all bad ones (if you do, then the problem may not be with the bosses) and you won't get all good ones.
If in the future, you get a bad boss - well, talk to him, discuss with him, try to bring him on to resolve the issue, maybe talk to other higher-ups and be okay with a little bit of unfairness. If that doesn't work and it starts getting to your head and bringing you down, do what you did in this case - change the job.
From India, Delhi
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All are right as we express based on our perception. If we are emotionally intelligent, we can at least analyze the reality, at least close to the truth. We can understand the feelings of others (empathy) (boss or subordinate). That solves major problems and avoids wrong decisions. Sometimes we express things we don't mean. If we just practice observing our own behavior, we can avoid so many unsavory things. Many times our perception of others may be wrong. Don't take words only for judgment. Take cues from vocal and mainly visual (body language). The best approach is not to take things seriously and unduly judge others. Grin and bear it. Again, it depends on personality. In the same team, under the same boss, some thrive and some quit. Learn to live in the present.
From India
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From India
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Dear Shilpi,
Remember one thing "Don't You Quit"; you cannot leave the job because of others unless it is hard to survive in that atmosphere. You encounter these types of people almost everywhere, but you must make a stand from the very beginning. Once you start reacting, they will surely take a step back and think a hundred times before committing any act of injustice.
Go ahead...
From India, Ambala
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Remember one thing "Don't You Quit"; you cannot leave the job because of others unless it is hard to survive in that atmosphere. You encounter these types of people almost everywhere, but you must make a stand from the very beginning. Once you start reacting, they will surely take a step back and think a hundred times before committing any act of injustice.
Go ahead...
From India, Ambala
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@ BODHISUTRA - I had worked with different personalities wherein a couple of my ex-bosses had made many IDIOTIC DECISIONS. Even other employees felt the same. Though I knew that they were IDIOTS, I didn't feel it was necessary for me to term them as "IDIOTS" nor did I wish to criticize them. If I had made up my mindset that I am working with IDIOTS, then I would never have progressed in my life because I WOULD HAVE TAKEN THINGS CASUALLY, UNDERESTIMATED THEIR CALIBER, and OVERESTIMATED MY CALIBER. I was very ASSERTIVE, and I tried to DEFEND myself whenever they pointed out mistakes in my modus operandi.
The point is, we must learn to COMMUNICATE DYNAMICALLY, EFFECTIVELY, and ASSERTIVELY. If they are wrong, don't support their wrongdoing nor be a part of the show for which you may repent later. I did not even attempt to safeguard my job nor was I scared that I may lose it if I act ASSERTIVELY and COMMUNICATE WITH A STRAIGHTFORWARD ATTITUDE. I tried my best to do justice with my roles and responsibilities. When things didn't work out between me and my superior/boss, rather than just listening to their NONSENSE just because they are my boss, or DEGRADING MY IMAGE or COMPROMISING WITH A SITUATION WHICH MAY AFFECT MY HEALTH and MAKE ME WEAKER, my policy says, say goodbye to your employer and move ahead in life. I only know one thing "IF I AM GOOD, THE WHOLE WORLD WILL BE GOOD TO ME".
With profound regards
From India, Chennai
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The point is, we must learn to COMMUNICATE DYNAMICALLY, EFFECTIVELY, and ASSERTIVELY. If they are wrong, don't support their wrongdoing nor be a part of the show for which you may repent later. I did not even attempt to safeguard my job nor was I scared that I may lose it if I act ASSERTIVELY and COMMUNICATE WITH A STRAIGHTFORWARD ATTITUDE. I tried my best to do justice with my roles and responsibilities. When things didn't work out between me and my superior/boss, rather than just listening to their NONSENSE just because they are my boss, or DEGRADING MY IMAGE or COMPROMISING WITH A SITUATION WHICH MAY AFFECT MY HEALTH and MAKE ME WEAKER, my policy says, say goodbye to your employer and move ahead in life. I only know one thing "IF I AM GOOD, THE WHOLE WORLD WILL BE GOOD TO ME".
With profound regards
From India, Chennai
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Good that we are having this discussion; it brings out a lot of practical issues.
@Archi: If the stress due to a bad boss and the task of managing him takes up so much time and energy that you aren't left with any to do great work and feel happy, you should seek change. It's not the first step if you encounter a bad boss, but yes, it should definitely be the 3rd or 4th or 5th step.
I don't think it is smart to say, "I don't quit" and stick to a bad working relationship, bad company, bad boss, or a bad professional environment. You'll waste a lot of your precious time, energy, happiness, and achievement potential.
@ Skhadir: We are not really disagreeing.
I totally agree that when it begins affecting your self-esteem, health, and happiness, say goodbye.
Also, assertiveness, straightforward attitude, dynamic communication are all ideas. How to translate them into doable steps? (Incidentally, the article talks about these doable steps).
Idiots are facts of organizational life (you too mentioned you've met a few). I think it's important to acknowledge it when you meet one and figure out the best way to handle it.
If a wolf jumps in front of you, you could think of him as a wolf and run for life or you could think of him as a creation-of-God-only-trying-to-satisfy-his-hunger and try to see his nicer qualities :)
From India, Delhi
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@Archi: If the stress due to a bad boss and the task of managing him takes up so much time and energy that you aren't left with any to do great work and feel happy, you should seek change. It's not the first step if you encounter a bad boss, but yes, it should definitely be the 3rd or 4th or 5th step.
I don't think it is smart to say, "I don't quit" and stick to a bad working relationship, bad company, bad boss, or a bad professional environment. You'll waste a lot of your precious time, energy, happiness, and achievement potential.
@ Skhadir: We are not really disagreeing.
I totally agree that when it begins affecting your self-esteem, health, and happiness, say goodbye.
Also, assertiveness, straightforward attitude, dynamic communication are all ideas. How to translate them into doable steps? (Incidentally, the article talks about these doable steps).
Idiots are facts of organizational life (you too mentioned you've met a few). I think it's important to acknowledge it when you meet one and figure out the best way to handle it.
If a wolf jumps in front of you, you could think of him as a wolf and run for life or you could think of him as a creation-of-God-only-trying-to-satisfy-his-hunger and try to see his nicer qualities :)
From India, Delhi
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First and foremost, people should remember that there is no perfect human being in this world! Every human being has his or her own positives and negatives, good and bad traits. There is nothing called right or wrong because it depends on how you view it from the doer's or the person's perspective. It is always essential to look at the positives from one's point of view and see how best you can utilize them for your own advantage, whether as a colleague, peer, subordinate, or even as a brother or sister.
Just as you are assessing others, remember that they are also judging and forming opinions about your qualities, attitude, behavior, etc. If you start evaluating everyone around you, there won't be an end to it!
Instead of labeling someone as an idiot, try to discover their strengths in other aspects. In reality, there is nobody who can be called an idiot. Only a few individuals fail to make use of the resources available to them, including effectively utilizing their brain for analysis, critical thinking, and quick, smart, and efficient actions.
By focusing on the positives of others, you will find the world to be a happier place to live in!
Best wishes.
From India, Bengaluru
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Just as you are assessing others, remember that they are also judging and forming opinions about your qualities, attitude, behavior, etc. If you start evaluating everyone around you, there won't be an end to it!
Instead of labeling someone as an idiot, try to discover their strengths in other aspects. In reality, there is nobody who can be called an idiot. Only a few individuals fail to make use of the resources available to them, including effectively utilizing their brain for analysis, critical thinking, and quick, smart, and efficient actions.
By focusing on the positives of others, you will find the world to be a happier place to live in!
Best wishes.
From India, Bengaluru
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Sorry, Mr. Sundaram, but if I were to look for positives in a boss who is prejudicial, treats me badly, gives me all the work while his flatterers ride free, and then they get the best projects, top ratings, and salary raises, I would die of a nervous breakdown. Or are you saying that my being continuously professionally abused like this will make him have a change of heart? Are you suggesting that there are no bad bosses, and even if we have a bad boss, we should think, "Ok, at least this guy is good at holding meetings, so it is okay if he treats me badly"?
In practical organizations where you and I work, there are people who are idiots who could be my boss or colleagues. I don't think we can solve the problem by pretending that they don't exist.
From India, Ghaziabad
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In practical organizations where you and I work, there are people who are idiots who could be my boss or colleagues. I don't think we can solve the problem by pretending that they don't exist.
From India, Ghaziabad
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Hi Coolnavya,
All human beings are and many leaders do not know what emotional intelligence is. If you are being subjected to ill treatment (according to your feelings and opinions, apart from other kinds of harassments listed by you), you always have a choice of other organizations. Please remember, there is no organization devoid of politics, bickerings, and backstabbing because all organizations are filled with human beings!
You can always criticize back, give negative feedback, and so on, but it won't lead you anywhere. In fact, people will start labeling you as well. I am sorry to say that when you have options, please consider them judiciously.
Best wishes
From India, Bengaluru
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All human beings are and many leaders do not know what emotional intelligence is. If you are being subjected to ill treatment (according to your feelings and opinions, apart from other kinds of harassments listed by you), you always have a choice of other organizations. Please remember, there is no organization devoid of politics, bickerings, and backstabbing because all organizations are filled with human beings!
You can always criticize back, give negative feedback, and so on, but it won't lead you anywhere. In fact, people will start labeling you as well. I am sorry to say that when you have options, please consider them judiciously.
Best wishes
From India, Bengaluru
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No point criticizing, of course. Also, exercising the option of other organizations should be the last resort. As you said, all organizations have such people - one can't keep moving out of every organization because of such people.
Me thinks when you encounter them, you should first try to resolve the issue and then, if that doesn't work out, you can move on.
From India, Ghaziabad
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Me thinks when you encounter them, you should first try to resolve the issue and then, if that doesn't work out, you can move on.
From India, Ghaziabad
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Nice discussion! Everybody wants to play nice, but there are situations where that ceases to be an option.
Also, every situation is different, so any generic guideline needs to be seen with a pinch of salt.
From India, Delhi
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Also, every situation is different, so any generic guideline needs to be seen with a pinch of salt.
From India, Delhi
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You can’t fight with everyone so it is important to choose your battles carefully. Some places, just stepping aside would be better.
From India, Ghaziabad
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From India, Ghaziabad
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Dear Mr. Bodhisutra,
A very good article. It is "horses for courses." There is no universal medicine.
With Boss and Seniors - what is necessary is TACT. With Colleagues - it is a FRIENDLY chide. With Subordinates - It is an ASSERTIVE (not AGGRESSIVE) approach.
Good post, lovely interaction by members, and great learning.
V. Raghunathan
From India
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A very good article. It is "horses for courses." There is no universal medicine.
With Boss and Seniors - what is necessary is TACT. With Colleagues - it is a FRIENDLY chide. With Subordinates - It is an ASSERTIVE (not AGGRESSIVE) approach.
Good post, lovely interaction by members, and great learning.
V. Raghunathan
From India
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Assertive Communication.p pt
Dealing with Difficult Co-Workers.pdf