Hello Everyone,
I have been working in a Media Company for 3 months in Agra where the thinking of the people is very rigid, and they are not willing to change. Moreover, as I've heard from my HR Manager and other colleagues, people are so negative and spread rumors when female employees talk to male employees. This situation makes it difficult for me to communicate effectively. Even male employees are hesitant to talk due to the fear of rumors about affairs.
Even our CMD boss doesn't appreciate or like it when male employees talk to female employees. Please suggest what can be done as we can't change people's way of thinking, especially when our seniors and CMD sir also don't approve.
Thank you.
From India, Agra
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I have been working in a Media Company for 3 months in Agra where the thinking of the people is very rigid, and they are not willing to change. Moreover, as I've heard from my HR Manager and other colleagues, people are so negative and spread rumors when female employees talk to male employees. This situation makes it difficult for me to communicate effectively. Even male employees are hesitant to talk due to the fear of rumors about affairs.
Even our CMD boss doesn't appreciate or like it when male employees talk to female employees. Please suggest what can be done as we can't change people's way of thinking, especially when our seniors and CMD sir also don't approve.
Thank you.
From India, Agra
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Hi Kriti,
Be bold, that's it. People in the initial stage may pass comments directly or indirectly. Later, they will also change. If you have no problem, then don't bother about others. But at the same time, keep your work done on time. People are educated but not broad-minded. I call them educated illiterates. Chill out and enjoy your life rather than thinking of others.
From India, Bangalore
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21Be bold, that's it. People in the initial stage may pass comments directly or indirectly. Later, they will also change. If you have no problem, then don't bother about others. But at the same time, keep your work done on time. People are educated but not broad-minded. I call them educated illiterates. Chill out and enjoy your life rather than thinking of others.
From India, Bangalore
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Well this is human nature we can’t change, and thanks to our country culture where still we think unenthusiastic once the female colleague gossip to male.
(Frankly sometimes me to, but ignore it.)
As per my opinion If we are good then whole world is Good. (If we are negative then whole world is wrong)
So, as far as if you didn’t have any wrong intention or thinking to talk with your associate then, no need to fear any one. (But you should respect your senior/managers, as this is also one of our country culture to respect others.)
Coming to the point, below is some tips further to avoid any more tragedy.
1, Kindly avoid to talk male colleague in front of your senior/managers.
2, Kindly avoid your frustration in front of senior/managers, and keep smiling as smile is the best cure for all problems.
3, Communicate with your senior/managers regarding your open mind and try to convince them that you are modern type and didn’t believe in affairs etc.
Even you can say that you belongs to Reputed family and this things doesn’t suit you.
4, Convince them that you are junior and needs to gain lots of knowledge/experience in regards to Work, and doesn’t have time for any unwanted activity like affairs etc.
5, lastly, we can’t change the thinking of the peoples, but we can make them understand by presenting ourself in a better way.
Thank you,
From Kuwait, Hawalli
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(Frankly sometimes me to, but ignore it.)
As per my opinion If we are good then whole world is Good. (If we are negative then whole world is wrong)
So, as far as if you didn’t have any wrong intention or thinking to talk with your associate then, no need to fear any one. (But you should respect your senior/managers, as this is also one of our country culture to respect others.)
Coming to the point, below is some tips further to avoid any more tragedy.
1, Kindly avoid to talk male colleague in front of your senior/managers.
2, Kindly avoid your frustration in front of senior/managers, and keep smiling as smile is the best cure for all problems.
3, Communicate with your senior/managers regarding your open mind and try to convince them that you are modern type and didn’t believe in affairs etc.
Even you can say that you belongs to Reputed family and this things doesn’t suit you.
4, Convince them that you are junior and needs to gain lots of knowledge/experience in regards to Work, and doesn’t have time for any unwanted activity like affairs etc.
5, lastly, we can’t change the thinking of the peoples, but we can make them understand by presenting ourself in a better way.
Thank you,
From Kuwait, Hawalli
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Seriously, we all need to think about it. But, from my perspective, we often encounter such issues in our organization. People can be selfish about their work and frequently engage in gossip.
My approach to work is different; I prefer to focus on work while in the office and avoid interfering with anyone's personal life.
Therefore, you should concentrate on your work and not allow others to interfere with your personal and professional life. If you conduct yourself fairly, no one will dare to say anything negative about you. It doesn't matter whom you are talking to or where you are going! Live like a king.
Cheers! Sunita Sandhu 9810504481
From India, Delhi
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My approach to work is different; I prefer to focus on work while in the office and avoid interfering with anyone's personal life.
Therefore, you should concentrate on your work and not allow others to interfere with your personal and professional life. If you conduct yourself fairly, no one will dare to say anything negative about you. It doesn't matter whom you are talking to or where you are going! Live like a king.
Cheers! Sunita Sandhu 9810504481
From India, Delhi
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Dear Kriti what I suggest you is..Just say that you are engaged or commited to a guy.This way you can avoid the gossips at office. Regards, Anu Sr.Process Associate - Human Resources.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Hi Kriti,
Sometimes the office culture demands you to behave in a certain way that may not align with your usual behavior.
Organizations like the one you are in are indeed very old school in their thoughts and mindset.
What I sincerely suggest is that if you are new to the company, take your time to settle down and then consider initiating change gradually.
Changing an office culture is usually not easy, so avoid giving the impression that as a newcomer, you are trying to alter long-established practices abruptly. Allow your colleagues time to understand you before implementing any changes.
I hope this helps.
From India, Mumbai
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Sometimes the office culture demands you to behave in a certain way that may not align with your usual behavior.
Organizations like the one you are in are indeed very old school in their thoughts and mindset.
What I sincerely suggest is that if you are new to the company, take your time to settle down and then consider initiating change gradually.
Changing an office culture is usually not easy, so avoid giving the impression that as a newcomer, you are trying to alter long-established practices abruptly. Allow your colleagues time to understand you before implementing any changes.
I hope this helps.
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Kriti,
Please be bold. Many times we have to change ourselves to fit the environment. The people here are really not very open-minded. So, being a girl in an HR role, you need to have a balanced approach. You should be genuine in your interactions with everyone, regardless of gender. The nature of your profession requires communication, so you cannot isolate yourself. Genuine behavior will benefit you in the long run. People, in general, will come to understand you better as time passes and will develop respect and concern for you if you maintain a professional demeanor.
At the same time, do not get too involved in conversations with one individual and avoid creating opportunities for overly personal relationships in the workplace. Refrain from getting too deeply involved with the same employee on multiple issues. While these suggestions primarily apply to public life, it is important to note that your private life can eventually impact your public image. I hope these behavioral tips will be beneficial to you.
WITH WARM WISHES,
DS
From India, Kanpur
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Please be bold. Many times we have to change ourselves to fit the environment. The people here are really not very open-minded. So, being a girl in an HR role, you need to have a balanced approach. You should be genuine in your interactions with everyone, regardless of gender. The nature of your profession requires communication, so you cannot isolate yourself. Genuine behavior will benefit you in the long run. People, in general, will come to understand you better as time passes and will develop respect and concern for you if you maintain a professional demeanor.
At the same time, do not get too involved in conversations with one individual and avoid creating opportunities for overly personal relationships in the workplace. Refrain from getting too deeply involved with the same employee on multiple issues. While these suggestions primarily apply to public life, it is important to note that your private life can eventually impact your public image. I hope these behavioral tips will be beneficial to you.
WITH WARM WISHES,
DS
From India, Kanpur
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Hi Kriti,
You have great comments there. I would go by Drmz... He is right. At the same time, you might want to be professional and specific when you talk. It doesn't matter if we talk less at times; it helps get the ears of the others... :-)
From United States, Daphne
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You have great comments there. I would go by Drmz... He is right. At the same time, you might want to be professional and specific when you talk. It doesn't matter if we talk less at times; it helps get the ears of the others... :-)
From United States, Daphne
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Hi Kirti,
Many years ago, I watched a movie and understood that if you want to be different from others, you should act differently.
Don't be afraid in this kind of situation because with every step we take, we encounter problems, and we must act accordingly.
Working in any culture is challenging for everyone (man or woman) until they develop their personality traits or style.
In your case, your personality style is trapped between the instincts of being "famous" and "infamous," which can create stress in your mind and decrease your efficiency towards work.
Here are some tips to help you overcome your problem:
1. Be composed, cool, and polite.
2. Be a good listener and avoid engaging in gossip.
3. Share your ideas with your seniors, peers, and subordinates.
4. Respect your seniors and colleagues.
5. Communicate effectively; avoid making loose statements.
6. Observe others and act accordingly.
7. Deliver your results on time.
8. Be emotional but act professionally.
9. Have faith in yourself.
Engage yourself in doing your best rather than just being good.
I hope these tips help you in your journey.
From India
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Many years ago, I watched a movie and understood that if you want to be different from others, you should act differently.
Don't be afraid in this kind of situation because with every step we take, we encounter problems, and we must act accordingly.
Working in any culture is challenging for everyone (man or woman) until they develop their personality traits or style.
In your case, your personality style is trapped between the instincts of being "famous" and "infamous," which can create stress in your mind and decrease your efficiency towards work.
Here are some tips to help you overcome your problem:
1. Be composed, cool, and polite.
2. Be a good listener and avoid engaging in gossip.
3. Share your ideas with your seniors, peers, and subordinates.
4. Respect your seniors and colleagues.
5. Communicate effectively; avoid making loose statements.
6. Observe others and act accordingly.
7. Deliver your results on time.
8. Be emotional but act professionally.
9. Have faith in yourself.
Engage yourself in doing your best rather than just being good.
I hope these tips help you in your journey.
From India
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Hi,
You are in a difficult situation, probably because you have been brought up in a free atmosphere, which is why you are feeling the difference. My suggestions are:
1. For the time being, "In Rome, do as the Romans do."
2. Get some work experience and then move out of Rome. Head to a metropolitan area like Delhi/NCR where you will not face this kind of problem. The interiors of our country are still living in the Stone Age when it comes to the treatment of women, so it's better to leave such places rather than continue getting frustrated. The issue with staying too long in such places is that very soon, YOU MAY BECOME ONE OF THEM.
From India, Delhi
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You are in a difficult situation, probably because you have been brought up in a free atmosphere, which is why you are feeling the difference. My suggestions are:
1. For the time being, "In Rome, do as the Romans do."
2. Get some work experience and then move out of Rome. Head to a metropolitan area like Delhi/NCR where you will not face this kind of problem. The interiors of our country are still living in the Stone Age when it comes to the treatment of women, so it's better to leave such places rather than continue getting frustrated. The issue with staying too long in such places is that very soon, YOU MAY BECOME ONE OF THEM.
From India, Delhi
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Hi Kriti,
It's a human nature "curiosity" and it’s a very common thing in the small town like Agra, it may be a plus point also that the people of such places interested in other, not like Metros where nobody bothers for other, it’s definitely not a question of stone age and backwardness of people, it's just a mindset and which is now improving, you may feel awkward and bad this because you are new to this kind of atmosphere, and leaving the job for a silly reason, that others are not happy is not a good idea, I feel the suggestion given by Mr. Sayeed and Mr. Vikash are very good and will help you.
Best of luck.
and the tag line of Manish is very good ""Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people. If I'm not there, I go to work!!!"
Regards,
KC
From India, Delhi
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It's a human nature "curiosity" and it’s a very common thing in the small town like Agra, it may be a plus point also that the people of such places interested in other, not like Metros where nobody bothers for other, it’s definitely not a question of stone age and backwardness of people, it's just a mindset and which is now improving, you may feel awkward and bad this because you are new to this kind of atmosphere, and leaving the job for a silly reason, that others are not happy is not a good idea, I feel the suggestion given by Mr. Sayeed and Mr. Vikash are very good and will help you.
Best of luck.
and the tag line of Manish is very good ""Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people. If I'm not there, I go to work!!!"
Regards,
KC
From India, Delhi
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Hi Kriti,
Based on my experience, you should not be concerned about what others say or think. If you know that you are right, that is what matters most. The most challenging situation arises when you have to answer to your conscience. The main issue to address is your head/boss. If he says something, clarify with him. If he does not say anything but behaves abnormally, you can approach him directly and say, "Sir, here the people have different views. They do not appreciate when a man communicates with a woman. I am sharing this with you because I believe you are mature, open-minded, and can comprehend." This statement could potentially alter his perspective, if not permanently, at least in your favor. This is the crux of the matter.
Hope this approach proves effective!
From India, Delhi
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Based on my experience, you should not be concerned about what others say or think. If you know that you are right, that is what matters most. The most challenging situation arises when you have to answer to your conscience. The main issue to address is your head/boss. If he says something, clarify with him. If he does not say anything but behaves abnormally, you can approach him directly and say, "Sir, here the people have different views. They do not appreciate when a man communicates with a woman. I am sharing this with you because I believe you are mature, open-minded, and can comprehend." This statement could potentially alter his perspective, if not permanently, at least in your favor. This is the crux of the matter.
Hope this approach proves effective!
From India, Delhi
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Hi Kriti,
I also belong to Agra and completed my Master's from Gujarat. Due to these types of problems or the mentality of people, I did not work in my hometown. After many years, I realized that I was wrong. Isn't it strange? Today, I feel that I faced the same problems when starting in Gujarat as well. However, I dealt with them confidently and strongly. I didn't care about the world and worked with challenges. So, I suggest you stay where you are and don't overthink. Focus on your career goals, where you want to be, and how you will get there. Concentrate and leave aside those who criticize you. Look within yourself to understand why they are targeting you. Don't give them too much attention. Maintain a professional demeanor for a few days.
I hope these problems will be resolved.
Don't overthink.
Regards,
S P Nayak
HR Head
From India
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I also belong to Agra and completed my Master's from Gujarat. Due to these types of problems or the mentality of people, I did not work in my hometown. After many years, I realized that I was wrong. Isn't it strange? Today, I feel that I faced the same problems when starting in Gujarat as well. However, I dealt with them confidently and strongly. I didn't care about the world and worked with challenges. So, I suggest you stay where you are and don't overthink. Focus on your career goals, where you want to be, and how you will get there. Concentrate and leave aside those who criticize you. Look within yourself to understand why they are targeting you. Don't give them too much attention. Maintain a professional demeanor for a few days.
I hope these problems will be resolved.
Don't overthink.
Regards,
S P Nayak
HR Head
From India
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Thank you all for your valuable suggestions. It will definitely help me out, and I have started implementing it as well. I hope to see a positive change in and around my environment soon. However, as many have said, I am new in the system; therefore, I have to first understand the place and the culture out here before changing myself or considering change. I think I need to stick to the company for some time as well; otherwise, presenting my work experience for three months will show instability.
Thank you all once again for taking the time to write your feedback. Everyone's suggestions are good.
@ Manish: Really loved your quote "Every day I see Forbes magazine."
From India, Agra
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Thank you all once again for taking the time to write your feedback. Everyone's suggestions are good.
@ Manish: Really loved your quote "Every day I see Forbes magazine."
From India, Agra
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Dear Kirti concentrate on your work, try to understand the culture of office,spend some time in office.People should know about you. Thanks & regards Vinod Yadav
From India, Bangalore
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From India, Bangalore
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Dear Kriti,
I would suggest some things:
One, list down the purpose for you being at that place - in detail. This will clear things for you in the first place. That is because if you are sure of what you are there for, you will hardly get time to waste on other irrelevant opinions.
Two, time is extremely important, so while you spend time understanding people and culture there, focus on what really matters to you and your growth - in the long run. Keep working and performing on areas that are out of your responsibility too. This will indirectly inform everyone that they have a mute leader among them, always ready to contribute and make a difference, and not just to pass the time.
Three, be honest with yourself and your intentions. What people think about your moves is their problem, not yours.
Everything happens for a purpose, so rather than getting bothered about what people think, keep following your heart and you will keep feeling good from within irrespective of what keeps happening outside.
Let me know if you need any further support on the same. I am learning and living in a similar situation, and just sharing the way I'm growing at my workplace.
Warm Regards,
Kirtan
Business Strategist
From India, Ahmadabad
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I would suggest some things:
One, list down the purpose for you being at that place - in detail. This will clear things for you in the first place. That is because if you are sure of what you are there for, you will hardly get time to waste on other irrelevant opinions.
Two, time is extremely important, so while you spend time understanding people and culture there, focus on what really matters to you and your growth - in the long run. Keep working and performing on areas that are out of your responsibility too. This will indirectly inform everyone that they have a mute leader among them, always ready to contribute and make a difference, and not just to pass the time.
Three, be honest with yourself and your intentions. What people think about your moves is their problem, not yours.
Everything happens for a purpose, so rather than getting bothered about what people think, keep following your heart and you will keep feeling good from within irrespective of what keeps happening outside.
Let me know if you need any further support on the same. I am learning and living in a similar situation, and just sharing the way I'm growing at my workplace.
Warm Regards,
Kirtan
Business Strategist
From India, Ahmadabad
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First of all establish yourself in this new company and then think about changing things surround you.
From India, Chandigarh
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From India, Chandigarh
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Dear Ma'am,
I think the discussed subject is only one side of the coin.
Throughout my career, I have seen many offices/establishments where employees chat with each other without any valid reasons, ultimately resulting in not only low productivity but also spoiling the quality of other employees who continue to work nearby. The common places are water/tea vending machines, meeting rooms, lounges, and even workstations, etc. I have also witnessed some organizations where the management had to notify employees about this. Unfortunately, the percentage of female employees engaging in this behavior is higher. (Ladies, please excuse!)
Although some amount of oral communication is natural and necessary, excessive talking during office hours really hampers productivity and quality.
Having said this, it is advisable to focus more on the task at hand and avoid unnecessary chitchat. I do not believe there are seniors in your establishment who are neglecting to address your assignment-related queries and concerns.
Regards,
Arun Dixit
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I think the discussed subject is only one side of the coin.
Throughout my career, I have seen many offices/establishments where employees chat with each other without any valid reasons, ultimately resulting in not only low productivity but also spoiling the quality of other employees who continue to work nearby. The common places are water/tea vending machines, meeting rooms, lounges, and even workstations, etc. I have also witnessed some organizations where the management had to notify employees about this. Unfortunately, the percentage of female employees engaging in this behavior is higher. (Ladies, please excuse!)
Although some amount of oral communication is natural and necessary, excessive talking during office hours really hampers productivity and quality.
Having said this, it is advisable to focus more on the task at hand and avoid unnecessary chitchat. I do not believe there are seniors in your establishment who are neglecting to address your assignment-related queries and concerns.
Regards,
Arun Dixit
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it is the most common problem in our culture. normally there is basic concept in mind of people that we should not cross our boundries.so...............
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Subject: Re: Why people don't mind their own business after work?
Hi Kirti,
First of all, this is not happening only with you; almost all organizations have such types of people and tendencies. So, cool down; you cannot and need not change them. You need to ignore them, concentrate on your work, form and develop your own group, and you will find your problem is solved.
Yogeshchandra
From India, Mumbai
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Hi Kirti,
First of all, this is not happening only with you; almost all organizations have such types of people and tendencies. So, cool down; you cannot and need not change them. You need to ignore them, concentrate on your work, form and develop your own group, and you will find your problem is solved.
Yogeshchandra
From India, Mumbai
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Thank you, everyone, for such a wonderful response. I will follow your advice for sure. But what if I am hanging out with my friends (maybe a boy) on a weekend, and someone from my office sees us? What should I do? How should I respond? Should I introduce them or walk away from the situation?
From India, Agra
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From India, Agra
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