Hi Folks,
Some members have really liked the humourous postings earlier and am sharing these whacky one liners...and hope you start the day with the SMILE!!...
Regular naps prevent old age...
especially if you take them while driving.
================================================== ==
Having one child makes you a parent;
having two makes you a referee.
================================================== ===
I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile.
I tried - but they wanted cash.
==================================================
Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot
live without,,, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
================================================== =
Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
=================================================
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
================================================== ==
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
=================================================
Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
=================================================
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
=================================================
You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things
more than doing them.
=================================================
Saving is the best thing.
Especially when your parents have done it for you.
===============================================
Wise men talk because they have something to say;
fools talk because they have to say something.
=================================================
Here are a few great notions in philosophy..
If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.
.................................................. ...........
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
.................................................. ........
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
.................................................. ............
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
.................................................. ....
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
.................................................. .....
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
.................................................. ...........
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
.................................................. ..........
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
GLOBALISATION
What is the truest definition of globalization? Princess Diana's death . How come?!!
An English Princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel,driven in a German car, by a Belgium driver, who had drunk Scottish whiskey, followed by Italian paparazzi on Japanese motorcyles, treated by American doctors, using latest Brazilian medicines.
And this sent to you by an Indian citizen & a friend using Bill Gate's technolgy on one of the computers using Tiawanese Chips & a Samsung Korean monitor, assemled by a Bengaladeshi worker in a Singapore plant , transported by trucks driven by Phillipenese drivers, highjacked by Indonesians & finally sold to you by Jews.!!!
Subject: and the last word for the year goes to.... 3 women, 1 ticket
Three women and three men are traveling by train to the Super Bowl. At the station, the three men
each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy just one ticket.
"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the men.
"Watch and learn," answers one of the women.
They all board the train.
The three men take their respective seats but all three women cram into a toilet together and close
the door. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He
knocks on the toilet door and says,
"Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
The conductor takes it and moves on.
The men see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea. After the game, they decide to do the
same thing on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station they buy a single
ticket for the return trip but see, to their astonishment, that the three women don't buy any ticket at all!!
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed man.
"Watch and learn," answer the women. When they board the train, the three men cram themselves
into a toilet, and the three women cram into another toilet just down the way.
Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the women leaves her toilet and walks over to the toilet in which the men are hiding. The woman knocks on their door and says, "Ticket, please."
And I'm still trying to figure out why men ever think they are smarter than women!!!
Subject: A little comfort
A little comfort > > > > >> WARM MILK > > > >> > >>
The 98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. > >>
The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. > >>
They gave her some warm milk to drink but she refused. > >>
Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. > >>
Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. > >>
Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. > >>
Mother drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. > >>
"Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "please give us some wisdom before you die." > >>
She raised herself up in bed and with a pious look on her face said, Don't sell that cow." > >>
Ha ha ha!!
Cheerio
Rajat Joshi
From India, Pune
101Some members have really liked the humourous postings earlier and am sharing these whacky one liners...and hope you start the day with the SMILE!!...
Regular naps prevent old age...
especially if you take them while driving.
================================================== ==
Having one child makes you a parent;
having two makes you a referee.
================================================== ===
I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile.
I tried - but they wanted cash.
==================================================
Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot
live without,,, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
================================================== =
Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
=================================================
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
================================================== ==
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
=================================================
Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
=================================================
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
=================================================
You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things
more than doing them.
=================================================
Saving is the best thing.
Especially when your parents have done it for you.
===============================================
Wise men talk because they have something to say;
fools talk because they have to say something.
=================================================
Here are a few great notions in philosophy..
If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.
.................................................. ...........
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
.................................................. ........
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
.................................................. ............
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
.................................................. ....
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
.................................................. .....
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
.................................................. ...........
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
.................................................. ..........
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
GLOBALISATION
What is the truest definition of globalization? Princess Diana's death . How come?!!
An English Princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel,driven in a German car, by a Belgium driver, who had drunk Scottish whiskey, followed by Italian paparazzi on Japanese motorcyles, treated by American doctors, using latest Brazilian medicines.
And this sent to you by an Indian citizen & a friend using Bill Gate's technolgy on one of the computers using Tiawanese Chips & a Samsung Korean monitor, assemled by a Bengaladeshi worker in a Singapore plant , transported by trucks driven by Phillipenese drivers, highjacked by Indonesians & finally sold to you by Jews.!!!
Subject: and the last word for the year goes to.... 3 women, 1 ticket
Three women and three men are traveling by train to the Super Bowl. At the station, the three men
each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy just one ticket.
"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the men.
"Watch and learn," answers one of the women.
They all board the train.
The three men take their respective seats but all three women cram into a toilet together and close
the door. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He
knocks on the toilet door and says,
"Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
The conductor takes it and moves on.
The men see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea. After the game, they decide to do the
same thing on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station they buy a single
ticket for the return trip but see, to their astonishment, that the three women don't buy any ticket at all!!
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed man.
"Watch and learn," answer the women. When they board the train, the three men cram themselves
into a toilet, and the three women cram into another toilet just down the way.
Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the women leaves her toilet and walks over to the toilet in which the men are hiding. The woman knocks on their door and says, "Ticket, please."
And I'm still trying to figure out why men ever think they are smarter than women!!!
Subject: A little comfort
A little comfort > > > > >> WARM MILK > > > >> > >>
The 98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. > >>
The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. > >>
They gave her some warm milk to drink but she refused. > >>
Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. > >>
Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. > >>
Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. > >>
Mother drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. > >>
"Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "please give us some wisdom before you die." > >>
She raised herself up in bed and with a pious look on her face said, Don't sell that cow." > >>
Ha ha ha!!
Cheerio
Rajat Joshi
From India, Pune
Hi Rajat, It is very nice to become the member of this forum. As it is complicated to surf this site. i had sent two request but i have not received any reply. Taruna
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