My supervisor told me that he has noticed that I visit the washroom too often and I need to reduce it. But being a woman, we need to visit the washroom more often (especially during some days in the month) than men. Also, I do admit that on some days I might have done it as I was not feeling well, and some colleagues noticed it, but that does not mean I do it every day. Additionally, I need to drink more water in summer and monsoon, so I do visit a couple of times more than others. Being a female, I was embarrassed to give any clarification to him. Do I talk to females in the HR department? However, I don't want any bad blood with my supervisor, and I don't want to take it negatively. Already, there are some team members who are against me and filling his ears against me, and this can be a new issue. Should I simply ignore and not drink water so that I can control my visits (even though it can have a bad effect on my health)? My job does require being at the desk, but I work for nine and a half hours, so is it wrong to visit the washroom 5 to 6 times a day?
From India, Ahmedabad
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7From India, Ahmedabad
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My question is, what if he takes it negatively if I go to HR, and what if he goes against me? At the end of the day, I have to work under him. (Here I haven't mentioned that in caps to shout or be rude, but I want to put more emphasis on the apprehension I have). Should I go to HR or not?
From India, Ahmedabad
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From India, Ahmedabad
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Dear Friend,
Congratulations to you for having the guts to open such a personal and natural matter in the forum.
It is quite surprising how anyone, I mean anyone, can ask such a thing directly. In fact, I am embarrassed that a male boss would ask such a thing.
Coming to the point, let's not discuss internal politics or ear-filling, etc.
If you have a female boss, approach her either in a group of girls or individually. Explain the situation you are facing because of your boss and the mental pressure it has caused. As a female, she may understand the problem. Warn him not to repeat it in the future.
If you do not have a female boss, you can boldly discuss the same with HR.
If you are comfortable with the above two options, go directly to his cabin, sit in front of him, and tell him he is not supposed to ask such things. Explain that every family has women in the form of mother, sister, wife, and other respective roles. Once you address this issue, he will likely not repeat it.
As a responsible boss, there are better ways to discuss such matters. However, if others are not supporting you, take the initiative to solve the issue.
Whether one drinks more or less water in any weather is a personal matter. Natural calls cannot be avoided, and holding them in can lead to health issues. If natural calls are attended to at proper intervals, there should be no reason for such questions to be asked of any female staff. Even if someone takes longer in the washroom on certain days, it should not be a cause for concern.
If a boss suspects that someone spends more time in the washroom due to slow habits, it is an opportunity to self-reflect and improve those habits, not for negative intentions.
Stay composed and confident in justifying your point.
Regards.
From India, Lucknow
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Congratulations to you for having the guts to open such a personal and natural matter in the forum.
It is quite surprising how anyone, I mean anyone, can ask such a thing directly. In fact, I am embarrassed that a male boss would ask such a thing.
Coming to the point, let's not discuss internal politics or ear-filling, etc.
If you have a female boss, approach her either in a group of girls or individually. Explain the situation you are facing because of your boss and the mental pressure it has caused. As a female, she may understand the problem. Warn him not to repeat it in the future.
If you do not have a female boss, you can boldly discuss the same with HR.
If you are comfortable with the above two options, go directly to his cabin, sit in front of him, and tell him he is not supposed to ask such things. Explain that every family has women in the form of mother, sister, wife, and other respective roles. Once you address this issue, he will likely not repeat it.
As a responsible boss, there are better ways to discuss such matters. However, if others are not supporting you, take the initiative to solve the issue.
Whether one drinks more or less water in any weather is a personal matter. Natural calls cannot be avoided, and holding them in can lead to health issues. If natural calls are attended to at proper intervals, there should be no reason for such questions to be asked of any female staff. Even if someone takes longer in the washroom on certain days, it should not be a cause for concern.
If a boss suspects that someone spends more time in the washroom due to slow habits, it is an opportunity to self-reflect and improve those habits, not for negative intentions.
Stay composed and confident in justifying your point.
Regards.
From India, Lucknow
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I have faced a similar situation like yours. The thing is that I drink a lot of water, so I also have to go to the washroom more than others.
What I do is keep my other breaks short and maintain a mental log of the time. At the end of the day, it is all about meeting your deadlines and KRAs. If your boss has pointed it out, talk to him and explain the situation. Tell him that you can keep a time log so that he knows how much time you are taking for your breaks. Your break time is 'YOURS', so it all depends on you how you take it. Until you are doing your work properly, meeting your deadlines and KRAs, the frequency of your visits to the washroom should not be an issue.
From India, Delhi
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What I do is keep my other breaks short and maintain a mental log of the time. At the end of the day, it is all about meeting your deadlines and KRAs. If your boss has pointed it out, talk to him and explain the situation. Tell him that you can keep a time log so that he knows how much time you are taking for your breaks. Your break time is 'YOURS', so it all depends on you how you take it. Until you are doing your work properly, meeting your deadlines and KRAs, the frequency of your visits to the washroom should not be an issue.
From India, Delhi
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Dear friend,
What a bizarre situation! By the way, are we adults or school children? I can understand if a teacher tells these things to some primary student. Is your supervisor interested in sticking to the chair or the output of the work? Have the KRAs of your work been well-defined? Does your work relate to taking calls from customers? Does your absence from your desk hamper someone else's work too (like bank employees)?
Anyway, never stop going to the washroom. This is because it may lead to kidney stones or other problems. Otherwise, suggestions given by Atul Sharma are also good.
Ok...
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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What a bizarre situation! By the way, are we adults or school children? I can understand if a teacher tells these things to some primary student. Is your supervisor interested in sticking to the chair or the output of the work? Have the KRAs of your work been well-defined? Does your work relate to taking calls from customers? Does your absence from your desk hamper someone else's work too (like bank employees)?
Anyway, never stop going to the washroom. This is because it may lead to kidney stones or other problems. Otherwise, suggestions given by Atul Sharma are also good.
Ok...
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
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Dear,
There are no restrictions as such that only so many times you need to visit the washroom. Just be plain and straight that you were sick and your health conditions were not supporting. Hope all men do understand and also your senior too will have women in his family. Don't worry, first take care of your health. In case you feel you will be safe if you explain to him, just give it in writing, due to health reasons you had to do that, and nothing in person to avoid the work.
Cheer up, don't worry. It's all in your hands how you solve the matter as a matured person.
Regards,
Jayalakshmi.M
From India, Bangalore
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There are no restrictions as such that only so many times you need to visit the washroom. Just be plain and straight that you were sick and your health conditions were not supporting. Hope all men do understand and also your senior too will have women in his family. Don't worry, first take care of your health. In case you feel you will be safe if you explain to him, just give it in writing, due to health reasons you had to do that, and nothing in person to avoid the work.
Cheer up, don't worry. It's all in your hands how you solve the matter as a matured person.
Regards,
Jayalakshmi.M
From India, Bangalore
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Dear friend,
I do not have words to explain my feeling. This is completely unethical behavior from your boss.
Before anything, I'd like to understand the below things.
1) Is he concerned about your productivity?
2) Are you meeting your deadlines regularly?
3) Did he share any feedback with you ever in terms of your work or your timelines or targets assigned?
4) Do you share a good relationship with him? (Professionally)
5) Is he trying to convey any other message in this context?
6) Is he a smoker? Won't he go for breaks (though he is not a smoker, he might take breaks for other stuff like coffee or a chat or any other)
However, I am sure, either way, irrespective of your answer whether yes or no, he is not supposed to talk to you like this.
Unlike other employees (especially college freshers and people with a rural background), you have tried analyzing the situation, and I am sure you will be able to fix the issue.
I'd suggest talking to your line HR and trying to explain the situation. They can always convey the message to your senior in a positive way that should not affect your personal and professional relationship with your line manager.
All the best!
From India, Hyderabad
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I do not have words to explain my feeling. This is completely unethical behavior from your boss.
Before anything, I'd like to understand the below things.
1) Is he concerned about your productivity?
2) Are you meeting your deadlines regularly?
3) Did he share any feedback with you ever in terms of your work or your timelines or targets assigned?
4) Do you share a good relationship with him? (Professionally)
5) Is he trying to convey any other message in this context?
6) Is he a smoker? Won't he go for breaks (though he is not a smoker, he might take breaks for other stuff like coffee or a chat or any other)
However, I am sure, either way, irrespective of your answer whether yes or no, he is not supposed to talk to you like this.
Unlike other employees (especially college freshers and people with a rural background), you have tried analyzing the situation, and I am sure you will be able to fix the issue.
I'd suggest talking to your line HR and trying to explain the situation. They can always convey the message to your senior in a positive way that should not affect your personal and professional relationship with your line manager.
All the best!
From India, Hyderabad
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Hi,
I feel your boss is not happy with some of your actions and unable to justify/explain those points. Now immaturely, he is pointing to your personal time to blame you. Sometimes the bosses are bosses coincidentally, though they don't deserve it; by luck, they are the boss. So they don't have experience in how to communicate their displeasure to their subordinate on a particular point. Bosses like yours are showing their displeasure using such silly points (since he is able to catch you on this point only).
I think you should clearly ask your boss - "Hey, I know you have some displeasure in mind. Can we talk about the actual matter instead of beating around the bush (usage of the washroom)?" He might not be happy with points such as overcommunication with colleagues or office timings or some other point on which he is unable to make any observation or comment. I think you should dig into this matter to the end with the boss.
Thanks
From India, Mumbai
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I feel your boss is not happy with some of your actions and unable to justify/explain those points. Now immaturely, he is pointing to your personal time to blame you. Sometimes the bosses are bosses coincidentally, though they don't deserve it; by luck, they are the boss. So they don't have experience in how to communicate their displeasure to their subordinate on a particular point. Bosses like yours are showing their displeasure using such silly points (since he is able to catch you on this point only).
I think you should clearly ask your boss - "Hey, I know you have some displeasure in mind. Can we talk about the actual matter instead of beating around the bush (usage of the washroom)?" He might not be happy with points such as overcommunication with colleagues or office timings or some other point on which he is unable to make any observation or comment. I think you should dig into this matter to the end with the boss.
Thanks
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Friend,
Most companies restrict the use of cell phones inside the work premises. In such circumstances, employees tend to use their cell phones in washrooms. They keep their cell phones on vibration mode and step into washrooms when they receive alerts. I have observed such instances. Our HR has addressed such cases, of course, not with female employees. Please check if this is not the reason. If not, feel free to inform him that this is your normal routine that you cannot avoid. As a friendly suggestion, please consider consulting a doctor as well, which is not harmful.
Regards,
Rathna
From India, Bangalore
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Most companies restrict the use of cell phones inside the work premises. In such circumstances, employees tend to use their cell phones in washrooms. They keep their cell phones on vibration mode and step into washrooms when they receive alerts. I have observed such instances. Our HR has addressed such cases, of course, not with female employees. Please check if this is not the reason. If not, feel free to inform him that this is your normal routine that you cannot avoid. As a friendly suggestion, please consider consulting a doctor as well, which is not harmful.
Regards,
Rathna
From India, Bangalore
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If this is a genuine problem, then you should communicate in a good way. However, if the person who needs to be communicated with does not understand, you just have to ignore it. You need to do your best at work, and sometimes, attending to your personal needs, such as the ones you mentioned, increases productivity rather than reducing it. Make sure to explain this to him.
Regards
From India, Hyderabad
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Regards
From India, Hyderabad
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