Dear Sir / Madam,
I am in a construction company ,handling all HR activities and recruitment,here I completed almost 2 yrs.I experienced some problems in last 2 yrs which i want to share with you and need your suggestions.
In my office,I was not part of those group who were involved in making fun of other colleagues & gossiping, better used to stuck on my desk .Later on I came to know I was backbitten by them and they built a wall which is impossible to break,... like I have proud on my links,feel superior, this,that, even told this to GM,this badly affect my appraisal,
When I knew all the things, I met him (GM) and clear all the things,I am not good in expressing my views as I want to tell him so many incidents that I experienced ,I did not know what he really understood but he suggest me to come occasionally ,don't create a gap.
My question is ,to make them all happy, I should join them ,unless they interpret me wrong ,does hard work ,honesty don't stay anywhere ? OR flattering is a necessity in today's world,because of this weakness I did not get increment/promotion.
Regards'
Gaytri
From India, Ambala
3I am in a construction company ,handling all HR activities and recruitment,here I completed almost 2 yrs.I experienced some problems in last 2 yrs which i want to share with you and need your suggestions.
In my office,I was not part of those group who were involved in making fun of other colleagues & gossiping, better used to stuck on my desk .Later on I came to know I was backbitten by them and they built a wall which is impossible to break,... like I have proud on my links,feel superior, this,that, even told this to GM,this badly affect my appraisal,
When I knew all the things, I met him (GM) and clear all the things,I am not good in expressing my views as I want to tell him so many incidents that I experienced ,I did not know what he really understood but he suggest me to come occasionally ,don't create a gap.
My question is ,to make them all happy, I should join them ,unless they interpret me wrong ,does hard work ,honesty don't stay anywhere ? OR flattering is a necessity in today's world,because of this weakness I did not get increment/promotion.
Regards'
Gaytri
From India, Ambala
Hello Gaytri,
Looks like you have MISTAKEN the NECESSITY of keeping your communication channels OPEN to 'flattery'.
Let's take the very same situation you mentioned: 'I met him (GM) and clear all the things........................don't create a gap'.
Why do you think your GM mentioned the last words--because you resorted to 'flattery'? NO. It was because he was getting ONLY ONE SIDE of the story so far & must have been happy to get your side too--so that any decisions he needs to take later on would be WELL-INFORMED decisions. At senior levels, the impact--positive OR negative--of decision-making is usually very severe/high--IRRESPECTIVE of the field/company/environment.
Coming to the other aspect of your inter-personal relationships within the office--with your colleagues. One doesn't have to be stiff-lipped even while having fun with colleagues/friends. But at the same time, maybe one needs to draw the line.
Based on what you mentioned, your colleagues 'seem' to be 'sort-of' addicted to casual banter/chatting. While you don't need to go to that extreme, sometimes such casual talk does LIGHTEN the environment/mood...especially when discussions about serious topics make the whole environment 'heavy'. Just try it once & you will notice the difference. Psychologists also suggest such deviations to make the individual MORE productive, in the long run. And also PRE-EMPT depression. Like the Old saying goes: All Work & No Play makes Jack a Dull Boy.
Looking at this aspect from another angle--wasn't YOUR 'reserved' nature which caused your colleagues to react/respond in the way they did? You MAY say: I will remain this way....then you also need to be prepared for the consequences--which MAY NOT be in the lines YOU think they will OR should be.
Hope you get the point.
All the Best.
Rgds,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
Looks like you have MISTAKEN the NECESSITY of keeping your communication channels OPEN to 'flattery'.
Let's take the very same situation you mentioned: 'I met him (GM) and clear all the things........................don't create a gap'.
Why do you think your GM mentioned the last words--because you resorted to 'flattery'? NO. It was because he was getting ONLY ONE SIDE of the story so far & must have been happy to get your side too--so that any decisions he needs to take later on would be WELL-INFORMED decisions. At senior levels, the impact--positive OR negative--of decision-making is usually very severe/high--IRRESPECTIVE of the field/company/environment.
Coming to the other aspect of your inter-personal relationships within the office--with your colleagues. One doesn't have to be stiff-lipped even while having fun with colleagues/friends. But at the same time, maybe one needs to draw the line.
Based on what you mentioned, your colleagues 'seem' to be 'sort-of' addicted to casual banter/chatting. While you don't need to go to that extreme, sometimes such casual talk does LIGHTEN the environment/mood...especially when discussions about serious topics make the whole environment 'heavy'. Just try it once & you will notice the difference. Psychologists also suggest such deviations to make the individual MORE productive, in the long run. And also PRE-EMPT depression. Like the Old saying goes: All Work & No Play makes Jack a Dull Boy.
Looking at this aspect from another angle--wasn't YOUR 'reserved' nature which caused your colleagues to react/respond in the way they did? You MAY say: I will remain this way....then you also need to be prepared for the consequences--which MAY NOT be in the lines YOU think they will OR should be.
Hope you get the point.
All the Best.
Rgds,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
Hi Gayetri,
I am also from construction industry i feel the same thing.But one thing only tell you that you have to build a trust within employee...like instead of saying that this is my decision start saying this is management decision and when debate starts you just say i can understand your problem but what can i do this is management decision and i am also an employee and i have to follow that...but keep a certain distance with your sub-ordinate.....and make stronger relationship with your superior and keep reporting even a single thing happened there.
Work for management and with keep in eye that people can understand that you are there to help him...bec construction industry is totally different from others and thinking of people is also different
From India, Delhi
I am also from construction industry i feel the same thing.But one thing only tell you that you have to build a trust within employee...like instead of saying that this is my decision start saying this is management decision and when debate starts you just say i can understand your problem but what can i do this is management decision and i am also an employee and i have to follow that...but keep a certain distance with your sub-ordinate.....and make stronger relationship with your superior and keep reporting even a single thing happened there.
Work for management and with keep in eye that people can understand that you are there to help him...bec construction industry is totally different from others and thinking of people is also different
From India, Delhi
In today work culture only hard work is not work only......that’s the fact but how you kept in negative or positive way thats up to you............. Abhijeet Kumar 9669281827
From India, Delhi
From India, Delhi
Hello Gaytri,
i would like to say that reserve nature is not made for HR you have to know your employee then only you will understand the real problem Mix up with your employee then only you can take better work form them and by conversation with them can make you confident...
let start with Hi n hello then how are you and how's your work is going on and all after some day you will fill better and a part of them...
From India, Gurgaon
i would like to say that reserve nature is not made for HR you have to know your employee then only you will understand the real problem Mix up with your employee then only you can take better work form them and by conversation with them can make you confident...
let start with Hi n hello then how are you and how's your work is going on and all after some day you will fill better and a part of them...
From India, Gurgaon
Hi Gaytri,
All my phrases are used by Taj Sateesh & Pawan Kumar. Please copy the same for my comments. :)
Let me start with the basics. HR stands for Human Resources.
Acquiring, Engaging and Managing resources is what your job is. If you start complaining that people are not allowing you to be part of their teams, then I wonder how do you suggest and resolve the issue if one of your employee starts complaining the same?
You need to be very positive, open minded. Be part of them, yet within the limits (Limits are not drawn by you. They are drawn by the company / Society / Peers / Seniors and many more)
Finally, Keep smiling and all the best for your new assignment (I feel you will become a HR now after acquiring the required interpersonal skills).
From India, Hyderabad
All my phrases are used by Taj Sateesh & Pawan Kumar. Please copy the same for my comments. :)
Let me start with the basics. HR stands for Human Resources.
Acquiring, Engaging and Managing resources is what your job is. If you start complaining that people are not allowing you to be part of their teams, then I wonder how do you suggest and resolve the issue if one of your employee starts complaining the same?
You need to be very positive, open minded. Be part of them, yet within the limits (Limits are not drawn by you. They are drawn by the company / Society / Peers / Seniors and many more)
Finally, Keep smiling and all the best for your new assignment (I feel you will become a HR now after acquiring the required interpersonal skills).
From India, Hyderabad
Hi All ,
Here in my post I am talking about a particular group which is close to our head,in the beginning , I joined them and try my best to mingle with them ,but their intention is always to hurt me or putting me down ,and whatever the topic will be ,they pick 2 points and represent that in wrong way before him (Head).
Respected Seniors ,I read your replied post yesterday and again tried but the result was as usual ,not only I wasted 40 mins but also back with a heavy heart,I can not expect something nice from their part .They could not digest ,the appreciation I got,even our head praised me in the meeting many a times,but suddenly his behaviour changed he became so rude.
At times I am so much worried, these kind of people are everywhere ,how will I prove myself .
Regards's
Gaytri
From India, Ambala
Here in my post I am talking about a particular group which is close to our head,in the beginning , I joined them and try my best to mingle with them ,but their intention is always to hurt me or putting me down ,and whatever the topic will be ,they pick 2 points and represent that in wrong way before him (Head).
Respected Seniors ,I read your replied post yesterday and again tried but the result was as usual ,not only I wasted 40 mins but also back with a heavy heart,I can not expect something nice from their part .They could not digest ,the appreciation I got,even our head praised me in the meeting many a times,but suddenly his behaviour changed he became so rude.
At times I am so much worried, these kind of people are everywhere ,how will I prove myself .
Regards's
Gaytri
From India, Ambala
Dear Gaytri,
i can understand your problem i would like to add here mountain dew advertisment i.e. dar k aage jeet hai.
dear just ready to mix up with them and try to get information, why they are behaving like this might be they have very wrong perception
about you and it will take time for remove any wall as you have mention, so i would advice you please take it as a challange and try to communicate more and more with using mind and overcome this situation you will face same problem till you don't remove yourself....
best of Luck
for more assistance you can mail me,,,,
From India, Gurgaon
i can understand your problem i would like to add here mountain dew advertisment i.e. dar k aage jeet hai.
dear just ready to mix up with them and try to get information, why they are behaving like this might be they have very wrong perception
about you and it will take time for remove any wall as you have mention, so i would advice you please take it as a challange and try to communicate more and more with using mind and overcome this situation you will face same problem till you don't remove yourself....
best of Luck
for more assistance you can mail me,,,,
From India, Gurgaon
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