Hi guys,
A teacher forwarded this list of comments from test papers, essays, etc., submitted to science and health teachers by elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. As she noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades."
"The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."
"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state."
"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
"To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a beacon over a flame in a test tube."
"When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide."
"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, veins and capillaries."
"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expiration."
"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
"The pistil of a flower is its only protection against insects."
"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."
"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."
"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."
"Equator: A menagerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."
"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
"Liter: A nest of young puppies."
"Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."
"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
"Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."
"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
"Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is Rh positive or Rh negative."
"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eyelid down over the nose."
"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops."
"For a dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it."
"For a head cold: use an atomizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat."
"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."
Regards
:D :D :D
From India, Madras
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11A teacher forwarded this list of comments from test papers, essays, etc., submitted to science and health teachers by elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. As she noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades."
"The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."
"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state."
"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
"To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a beacon over a flame in a test tube."
"When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide."
"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, veins and capillaries."
"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expiration."
"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
"The pistil of a flower is its only protection against insects."
"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."
"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."
"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."
"Equator: A menagerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."
"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
"Liter: A nest of young puppies."
"Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."
"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
"Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."
"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
"Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is Rh positive or Rh negative."
"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eyelid down over the nose."
"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops."
"For a dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it."
"For a head cold: use an atomizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat."
"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."
Regards
:D :D :D
From India, Madras
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I especially like the one about "oxygen" and "hydrogen." It gives a new meaning to being "high on living."
From Australia, Ballarat
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From Australia, Ballarat
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Hi friend,
The same took place during our school days and college days when our teachers would ask us to correct our classmates' exam papers to avoid all these shocks, especially those related to branium, borax, and abdominal cavity.
I laughed for almost 30 minutes and called all my classmates about this post.
Thank you, friend, for taking me back to my early days, to those wonderful memorable times that will never return.
😄 😄 😄 😄
From India, Coimbatore
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The same took place during our school days and college days when our teachers would ask us to correct our classmates' exam papers to avoid all these shocks, especially those related to branium, borax, and abdominal cavity.
I laughed for almost 30 minutes and called all my classmates about this post.
Thank you, friend, for taking me back to my early days, to those wonderful memorable times that will never return.
😄 😄 😄 😄
From India, Coimbatore
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Hello Atomleaf,
I would like to share one of my experiences when I was a teacher. I asked the students some short answer questions in the exam. Out of them, two questions were:
Q1. Why is there no atmosphere on the moon?
Q2. Why is there no water on the moon?
Most of the students (Std 10) gave these answers:
Ans1. As there is no water on the moon, hence there is no atmosphere on the moon.
Ans2. As there is no atmosphere on the moon, hence there is no water on the moon.
What do you say?? Aren't the students very logical? :lol: :lol:
Regards,
Guru
From India, New Delhi
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I would like to share one of my experiences when I was a teacher. I asked the students some short answer questions in the exam. Out of them, two questions were:
Q1. Why is there no atmosphere on the moon?
Q2. Why is there no water on the moon?
Most of the students (Std 10) gave these answers:
Ans1. As there is no water on the moon, hence there is no atmosphere on the moon.
Ans2. As there is no atmosphere on the moon, hence there is no water on the moon.
What do you say?? Aren't the students very logical? :lol: :lol:
Regards,
Guru
From India, New Delhi
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Creative Teaching & AssessmentREV5. ppt
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